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My quarterback's not starring In your musical, vincent.

I can stay on the team And do the musical, too.

You think you're better than me.

You're not. I think you should leave.

And if I don't? Brooke!

Dad. Mom?

What's going on here?

What is that on your finger? We're engaged.

Good morning.

Sam, what's this? That's joe mcpherson.

My dad, your high school Sweetheart. Remember him?

Sam, I'm not trying To replace your father.

I know you're not, Because you can't.

He's gone, sam.

He's not coming back.

Do you know that, Since your father died,

I have spent every night Tossing and turning

On his side of the bed?

I... I haunt the closets. I smell his old shirts.

And I cry.

This won't last.

Remember I warned you-- The apple doesn't fall Far from the tree.

What is your problem With brooke mcqueen?

Sam, please, will you Help me understand?

Okay, fine. You want a hit List of her good qualities?

She's heinous. She-she's vain,

And passive-aggressive, And-and judgmental...

And pious, and hypocritical, And judgmental.

Sam mcpherson is heinous, Dad, and I am warning you:

Watch out because those Qualities are taught.

I love jane, brooke. She's not that way.

You don't even know her, daddy. Honey,

For the first time in ten years, I felt something romantically.

I thought I had forgotten How to feel that.

It's eight years, daddy.

Why couldn't you just date Like a normal person?

We're gonna take this slow. Oh, yeah, daddy, real slow.

Should I skip school today So I can make the noon wedding?

This is new territory for us. We're gonna get through this...

Together.

And we'd like to start by...

Throwing a dinner At the end of the week.

It'll be fun. Don't you think?

[bell tolls]

[sighs]

♪ think it over once or twice ♪

♪ what lasts the longest in this life ♪

♪ character or rock-hard thighs ♪

♪ in the end do you believe ♪

♪ that beauty lies in what you see ♪

♪ 'cause if you do, then, baby ♪

♪ you've been deceived ♪

♪ well me and b ♪

♪ we hate supermodels ♪

♪ it's just that I'm tired of being compared ♪

Thank for moving your schedule Around today, miss esposito,

So we could have this talk About your amphibian fetish.

I know you had to tear Apart your filofax

To fit me in between the raids At the animal testing centers,

And I appreciate that.

Let's start off with Some typical glass candor.

You're gonna lose This fight, miss.

No one has ever Gotten beyond week two In a dissection protest.

Respectfully, I repeat my position:

I will not dissect that frog.

Wonderful. In that case, Here's what we're gonna do.

Your moral beliefs clash With my teaching style,

So... My frog is gonna clash With your outfit.

Now that you have your fine, Stylin' frog-purse,

Not only can you wear Your heart on your sleeve,

But also your Disruptive stubbornness.

And I suppose This punishment ends

Only if I take out this sad, Little soul and slice him up?

[class bell rings]

♪ I'm too sexy for your party ♪

♪ too sexy for your party ♪

♪ no way I'm disco dancing ♪

♪ I'm a model you know what I mean ♪

♪ and I do my little turn on the catwalk ♪

♪ yeah, on the catwalk on the catwalk, yeah ♪

♪ I do my little turn on the catwalk ♪

Mary cherry, What are you wearing?

It's a cocoa mink With chinchilla trim.

I'm breakin' it in For fall/winter. Are you kidding me?

It is criminal to wear fur.

To make that single coat, 175 Minks were anally electrocuted.

That's torture.

No, that's fashion.

Well, my, my. Looks like Mommy packed your lunch today.

You animal rights activists Sure have yummy diets.

'scuse me.

Since jezebel brought it up,

Have a name for your Clear bag of courage?

Jehovah.

[southern accent] He's my Witness against conformity.

Mark my words: By the end of the week,

My slice-and-dice Nightmare is over.

Sammie's writing this brilliant Animal farm-esque editorial

About the food chain fading Because of frog harvesting.

Glass has gotta pay attention To that. Right? Yes.

Everybody's staring at me like They were at that fur-freak, Mary cherry.

Could it be because You're wearin' a dead frog?

Look. I will gladly endure the Stares piercing me like arrows

If my accessory activism Saves even one tadpole.

Speakin' of endurance, did you Talk to sammie this morning? Mm-mmm.

She has to sit down with brooke Mcqueen and family thursday for A dinner. She's freakin' out.

Sheesh. Yeah. Guess what They're serving.

Frog legs.

Oh. [chuckles]

Very funny.

[chuckles] [class bell rings]

[woman] Okay, people, listen up.

The first order of the day, Here in humanities class is:

Take out a piece of paper.

Now, I want you to do exactly What I say with no deviations.

Take out that sheet Of white. Fold it.

Keep folding it until you have 16 perfect, pristine squares.

I assume everyone knows What a square looks like.

Now cut them out.

Don't stare at me Like a bunch of retardos.

Make some squares. Do it.

Have you counted up 16?

You should know how to make Squares by now, thank you.

Now then, put your squares To the edge of your desk

Facing the aisle.

I mean perfect.

I wanna get some paper cuts When I pick up your stack.

Center, people. Center!

Thank you! [student] What's up?

[sighs]

Now then,

Will somebody mind Explaining to me

Why you let me waste your time Without calling me on it?

Will someone Please explain to me

How you could let me Call you "Retardos"?

That's prejudiced.

I know. I know.

I know I am intimidating Because I dress fantastically.

But you have to listen to that Little voice inside your head

That said, "Hey!

"Teacher-lady up there Is acting a little wacked.

Is she on crack?" [giggling]

What is this fish doing?

What is this A-little fish doing?

[student] Swimming? That's right. That is right!

He is swimming off To become an individual.

Swimming off To become an individual.

Listen to your Instincts, people.

Learn to recognize Your own voice.

It is the most important Voice you will ever hear.

So, now, everyone,

Turn your desks towards Each other, in pairs, Facing each other.

We're just gonna do A little experiment...

On how to learn, learn how To listen, and communicate.

What I want you to do is learn How to hear your own voice

By learning how to listen.

And the way that we do That is by role-playing.

For the next 30 seconds, Look into your partner's eyes

And speak in their voice.

[clears throat]

Look. We both know that This thing with our parents

Is never gonna last.

Yeah, you got that right. Well, because my dad

Is gonna come To his senses.

And this would imply That my mother's not Good enough for him?

Sam, I don't know Anything about your mother,

Except that she moves fast.

Excuse me, but your Lounge-lizard father is the one

Who booked this last-minute Trip on the lust boat.

Failing your Anger management class, sam?

That's because you don't Like your life and you wish You had a better one.

Your mom feels like she needs Two parents to control you.

I sympathize. Someone should Throw a telethon,

The profits of which would be Used to restore your humanity.

I'm cooking dinner thursday.

Is there anything special I can Whip up for you? Eye of newt?

You know what? Anything barbie Whips up in her easy-bake oven

Will be just delicious.

[class bell rings]

Good work, people.

I felt a real sense Of communication Going on here today.

Nice to smell you all This morning.

Okay, guys. Let's get Down to brass tacks.

Mr. Vincent, here, Has called this meeting.

Coach peritti, he feels That you are torturing

Josh ford in inhumane ways

To push him towards Leaving the musical.

Is this true? False.

Josh,

Did coach peritti Give you that watch?

Um... Uh, that's my watch.

I... I loaned it to him To help him with his scheduling.

Oh, drop the act, Peritti!

How could you afford A rolex on our salaries?

Everyone knows you've Got your jock alumni cronies

On the school board to bow To your every secret whim!

You've been moving Around funds for years.

I think the lady does Protest too much here.

That phrase denotes Your guilt, numb-nuts!

Josh,

What do you want?

The musical Or the football team?

Well, uh...

Uh...

I'm sorry, But I love football.

But, uh... But I also love to sing.

So, actually, I'd like to do both.

Then you will. Thank you, josh.

Could you wait outside, hm?

Mr. Vincent,

I do not want you Coming in this office,

Whining like an adolescent,

Because you didn't Get your way.

I will not have you Fighting over a student

To resolve your High school dilemmas.

You will both work this out.

[girl] God.

Nicole's lip gloss Is so... Genius.

I should send them an 8x10. Look how obvious they are,

Just staring at us.

Coveting our lives. Our men, our plastic surgery.

What? It's no big deal.

I-I just had a rib removed.

Sammie. Piercing.

Rudolph the red nose no more?

Yeah. I heal quickly.

You know, carmen,

It makes me so mad You didn't make it.

Cheerleading system is This elitist 1950s tradition

Run by pampered bottle-blondes.

The whole system Needs to be overhauled

Starting with brooke mcqueen.

Okay, cujo. Back in your cage.

Sammie, I know you feel like She attacked you in humanities.

She basically said I wanted to be her.

I wouldn't mind Being her for a day.

That is my dream in life: To wear a belly shirt.

Why don't you look at this Dinner thing as an opportunity?

If you and brooke can... Become friends...

Oh, never gonna happen. No. Hear me out.

If you and brooke became civil, You could stop this animosity

That exists in this school.

And, lil, love ya,

But that damn frog Is spicy-smellin'

And you've got to do something.

Sorry. Not cuttin' it.

Don't worry, jehovah.

[boy] Yo, nicole,

Those some phat snaps In your wig there, baby.

Thank you, sugar daddy.

My queen,

As requested, your king, Brought to the banquet.

So, y'all make peace now.

Wanted to tell Me somethin'?

Yeah.

You guys, I have An announcement.

Oh, my god, y'all, Brooke's pregnant.

Three weeks from friday, I'm going miss

The away game at nixon high.

I'm missing this game because, Today, I bought out a front row

For the kennedy fall musical Starring josh ford.

Really?

Yes!

Count me in, too.

Oh, me three. It sounds fun.

I'll call in sick for that game. Gotta support my boy.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I've got three days to stop This dinner from happening.

Three days and counting.

[brooke] I just need To get through this week,

Get this dinner over with,

Wait for my dad to wake up, And I'll be fine.

I'll be right back on track.

It'll be great.

[phone ringing]

It's mine.

Hello?

[man] if you want the story of your career,

meet me in the mall parking garage at dusk.

level b-2. Who is this? What is this about?

you can call me deep throat.

it's about brooke mcqueen.

[screeching]

Are you alone?

Deep throat.

Mr. Vincent?

Hello, miss mcpherson.

I'm quite a fan. I was very Intrigued by your column,

The one on popularity At kennedy high.

Gripping. If they gave Pulitzers for the teen beat,

You'd be podium-bound.

This is so cool, But I don't follow.

What does this have To do with brooke mcqueen?

I could only read between The lines of your report.

As for your interview With miss mcqueen,

Delicious.

Subtle.

Vitriol.

We seem to have The same perspective.

I could help. Take this.

Coach peritti's Fiscal budget.

"Not for distribution. Do not photocopy."

How did you get this?

Why don't you take this To principal hall directly?

You, of all people, Should understand my dilemma.

Nobody listens to you if They think you have an agenda.

And as for miss mcqueen,

You may want to pay special Attention to page five--

The cheerleading budget.

I scratch your back,

You scratch mine.

Oh. Miss mcpherson,

Love the beret.

[hissing]

This is amazing.

Oh, my god.

Have you read the newspaper?

No, no, not yet. Why? What's it say?

Honey, it's a complete Vendetta against you.

"The kennedy high glamazons Have finally gone too far."

She's outta control.

But I didn't know that Cheerleaders have a prada Allowance. What's prada?

Only the most stunning Of designer fashions.

How do they expect us to do our Split kicks without prada boots?

I'm glad somebody finally busted Them white-bread rah-rah girls.

Nic, I can't believe this. Read me the carmen part again.

"...Carmen ferrara, who all Agreed had the best audition

For the '99 squad and yet Was cruelly overlooked."

I am so mad at you, sam. W-why?

Before you made me Your poster girl

For the brooke mcqueen Haters club,

You should've Asked my permission.

Okay.

Even though I'm depressed

And feel life has no meaning Since that editorial,

This restroom always Makes me feel so pretty.

Why is it so Non-teen-lavatory luxurious?

Some fan of that 1950s Movie star kim novak

Redid it in her honor In the '60s or something.

I'm so nervous.

You just know the school's gonna Shut the cheerleaders down now.

Well, if it isn't lois lane.

How convenient for you

That the in-shade of blush For fall is bruise.

I got through grunge And a vanilla ice concert In the second grade.

Not afraid of you guys.

So, who's your hidden Source, baby cakes?

Who leaked That secret budget?

I'll never tell you That, blondie.

It's my first amendment Right as a journalist.

Well, let's see what ink Tastes like, tippy typewriter.

Brooke may be too much Of lady to bring ya down, But I'm not.

So let me fill you in On a little secret.

My middle name: payback.

What's going on here? Uh, nothing.

We were just talking.

Ladies, miss mcpherson Printed the truth.

There are two sides To every story, mr. Grant.

Or didn't they teach you That in community college?

[sighs] Thanks. I was beginning to feel

Like I was in an all-girls Prison movie for a minute.

The truth is A wonderful thing, sam,

But, uh... It doesn't Always set you free.

You leaked the budget, vincent.

You broke in And stole my files.

[principal hall] Coach peritti...

Cecelia, that's two steps to The right and one forward, babe.

Oh, poobah!

Coach peritti!

I know you're here.

I smell brut.

Somebody read the newspaper Editorial to me,

And I am outraged!

I have taken your budget For the rest of the year

And given half of it To the drama department!

What? You can't do that.

My program can't Survive on that.

Better win homecoming, This is better than judge judy.

Because that's traditionally

When the pride-filled Big bucks come rolling in.

Good day!

Fyi, franny,

Just so our schedules Are synchronized,

I've moved the date of the Musical to homecoming weekend.

Josh ford will be Missing friday's game.

Best of luck.

I'll get you for this, vincent.

[thud, squirt]

[thud, squirt] [gasp]

[screams]

So, how's that Dinner party coming?

Great. I was thinking about Using your article for placemats

So my dad could see What kind of person you are.

I know it's hard to believe that The world doesn't orbit you,

But that editorial was written Out of obligation to the truth.

"Obligation to the truth."

That editorial Was completely unfair.

[sighs] I can't believe that There was actually a time

That I thought We might be friends.

You never thought that. Did you?

Well, I guess you'll Never know. Now, will you?

I-I cannot believe I almost got sucked

Into your gravitational pull.

Oh, whatever. Uh, ginger, mary ann.

We're not at home watching ricki lake talkin' back To the hos and freak-outs.

Shut up and get dicin'.

Oh, and, miss lily,

The weather report just arrived And there's an f5 tornado

Swirling around your g.P.A.

You gonna... Fly up there

And join the trailer park People in the eye of the storm,

Or are you gonna Cut croakie and...

Fall safely to earth In my strawberry patch?

Respectfully, I choose to keep My purse closed and daydream.

Great! Just checkin'. Enjoy your f.

Back to work, everybody!

god, I wish I was pam grier.

I loved those blaxploitation movies in the '70s.

back then, you could be a real heroine and people would listen to you.

and if they didn't, you'd kick their ass.

Open wide, croakie! [squeaking]

[banging]

[grunts]

I'm gonna shut you down, glass,

"Fo-evah."

[class bell rings]

[sighs]

Hey. What'd you Think of my editorial?

I think it's really gonna Cause some change around here.

Change for the better.

Yeah. I don't know, sam.

If you had run The animal rights editorial Like you said, maybe...

Okay, lil. I get it.

You're mad because you have To carry around the frog-tote.

Harrison's right. It stinks. Why don't you Just cut it and move on?

Because maybe I have a Conviction that means something

That's from a true, Positive place.

And, yeah, you're right, Sam. I am mad at you.

Maybe if you had Listened to reason

And run the right editorial, You could've saved lives

Instead of just yourself.

Why do you think coach peritti Wanted to meet us here?

My... God.

♪♪ [yello's "Oh yeah"] Um, um...

Nic, the stone cold fox boy Is walking straight for us.

Nic, he's naked.

[whispering] Here he is. Oh, my god.

Hey, nic.

This some new benefit, that the Cheerleaders hand out towels?

You know it. We're full-service gals.

And you're full-on Italian, aren't you?

Nic.

[peritti] Hey, ladies.

Glad you could make it.

Sorry for the exotic location.

I needed to keep This private.

Unfortunately, I got bad news.

I'm gonna have to shut down The cheerleading squad.

Because of Sam mcpherson's editorial?

Yep. I'm gonna have to shave The budget to make ends meet.

Glamour's the first thing to go.

No. Th-there's gotta be Something that we can do. Right?

Bake sales? I can Auction off a couple dates.

There is one thing you could do.

[josh] Sugar, will you Just read me the lines?

You're pausing too much. I can't concentrate.

You need to spice it up. Take That homegirl, nellie, dip her,

Slip her the tongue. Dude.

Hey, babe. You look upset.

I am.

Yeah. All right. I'm out.

All right. Bye.

What's wrong?

They're thinking of Canceling cheerleading. Ouch.

The editorial, huh?

Hey, it's okay.

We've got each other again And that's what's important.

So, is there anything I can do to cheer you up?

No. I'm okay. A back rub?

No. I'm fine. Take you to the movies?

Anything? Quit the musical And play at homecoming?

Peritti says if we make A good show at the game,

We'll get donations and get the Cheerleading funding restored.

He said we'd save A lot of jobs, too.

Josh...

[sighs]

God, I hate asking you this.

Yeah. Especially after You made such a big show

Outta supporting my decision In front of everybody.

God, brooke, you should Be in the musical.

You're the actor here, not me.

[harrison] Maybe we Should get that laminated.

You know? So...

It doesn't fade away.

He's fading away more And more, harrison.

The memories I have Of him are just like...

Outlines, and I have to color In the detail or something.

God, I miss him.

My dad would understand What I was doing,

Running that editorial.

Sam,

I think you ran That editorial

Because you don't Want him replaced.

You want your mom To think brooke mcqueen Is superficial and horrible

So she'll call off This engagement.

My dad always said reporters Follow their instincts...

You had a hidden Agenda, sammie.

The funny thing is

That everybody Can see it but you.

Whose side are you on, anyway?

[sighs]

Hey, cyclops.

Stridex called. They said, "Stop using our product

Or we're gonna get sued For false advertising."

Hi. Baby, what's wrong?

I never should've listened To coach peritti.

I can't believe this.

Well, we know who To blame, don't we?

Mcbitch mcpherson.

You're so right.

She's taking everybody else Down. She's not only hurting me.

She's hurting you. She's hurting the school. She's hurting josh.

Plan b.

[scoffs] I can't do that, nic.

Honey, you don't have to.

This is a role I was born to play.

I hope you realize The gravity of your charges.

And if I discover That you're lying,

It's an immediate expulsion. Principal hall,

How could you possibly think That I would make this up?

I mean, The very fact that

This hidden shame

Has forever soiled an innocent, Petal-fresh friend of mine

Who's too confused To come forward herself...

Well, I'm just devastated.

Very well, miss julian.

I have no choice But to take action.

Every good journalist feels Like they're goin' through

A war alone at one time Or another during their career.

I just feel like you're The only one I can talk to.

You know, the only one Who understands.

[beeping]

What?

[principal hall] "Often in cases

"Of sexual misconduct

"The student has mixed feelings

"About telling on the teacher.

"If the teacher is popular,

"There could be repercussions

When and if The students find out."

Principal hall, do you really Believe that I would allow

Myself to stoop To-to-to such... Behavior?

This is a witch-hunt.

This is an athletic Department attack. Mr. Grant,

I am well aware of your Character and your background,

And I am also aware Of the statistics.

Eighty-nine percent of these Allegations are proven untrue.

Mr. Grant is a great teacher. He would never hurt me.

W-we went out To dinner one time. It...

Mr. Grant,

You are aware that any Outside activity with a student

Has to have a parental Permission slip.

I-is this slip on record?

If it is, It will go a long way

To validating your claim Of complete innocence.

No. Um... [clears throat] No, I did not get that.

Mr. Grant, I am so sorry.

So am I, sam.

Stop the presses.

[♪♪ classical]

Well, that was just delicious.

I don't think I will ever Look at another pork chop Again unless brooke makes it.

[mike] Jenny...

You have, like, just A little piece of gristle...

[chuckling] It's on your... It's on your upper lip.

Ah, come here. I'll get it. I'll get it.

[clears throat]

This was fun. Huh?

Dinner in the kitchen, Family-style.

A guy could get used to this.

You know, it was fun.

I-I felt like I spent the Evening with the brady bunch

Or the gang from different strokes.

Sort of like an episode of Those families-in-turmoil- Thrown-together shows

That always got canceled because One of kids robbed a dry cleaner

To pay for his drug habit.

Or else the premise Just ran outta steam.

So... Brooke, um...

Which one of the girls On the bunch did you Always relate to?

Brooke's... A marsha. Don't you think, brooke?

Actually, no, sam. I'm a jan.

Oh.

Which one are you, sam?

[brooke] Oh, can I guess?

Judging from the outfit, oh,

I'd say alice.

No, no. I'm a jan, too, brooke. Really?

What a coincidence.

I think I'm just Gonna clear the dishes.

Sam, you barely touched Anything on your plate.

Oh, I'm a vegetarian.

♪♪ [mussorgsky's "Night on bald mountain"]

Since when? You eat hamburgers.

Since... I took my first Bite of those pork chops.

Brooke, the dessert in the oven Smells absolutely delicious.

What is it? Thank you. It's a soufflé.

It's a delicate french Dessert that's hard to make Because of its temperament.

Any unnecessary disruptions And it'll collapse.

It was my mother's recipe.

Sam, how was school today?

Oh, it was good. Thanks. Mom...

Principal hall will probably Be calling you tomorrow...

My journalism advisor got Framed for sex with a student,

The student being me.

Don't worry. I'm innocent, As is mr. Grant.

Nothing happened.

Brooke, here, just decided

To get back at me for my Editorial and made the thing up.

I didn't do that. I don't Know what you did last summer.

You'd like to think I had Something to do with it because It would make life easier,

Because then you would Have someone to blame For your problems,

When your problem, Sam, is yourself.

Now that you've ended Cheerleaders and my relationship With my boyfriend,

Maybe you can find time To grab some therapy.

You need it.

Sam, um...

Are you having any problems At school you wanna talk about?

It's none of your business. You're not my father.

Sam, I don't like your tone. It's not respectful.

I'm not gonna tolerate it.

[clears throat]

Excuse me.

[door opens, shuts]

[whispering] I told you.

Don't.

What are you doing, sam?

Are you spying on me?

Are you looking for Some more filthy dirt

You can fling around In an editorial? No.

You have so many nice things, And there are so many people At our school

Who have nothing But their pride.

And every day you chip away At it, you take that, too.

When is enough enough for you? Just get out, sam.

And fyi, put away Your mental tape measure

'cause you are never moving Into this room or this house.

You or your mother.

My father died two years ago. Did you know that?

My mother loved him Very much.

Did your mother die?

No. She left.

With you as a daughter, It's easy to see why.

Oh, hey, brooky.

We were worried about you.

Oh, god. Was dinner Last night that bad?

Uh... Yeah, yeah. It was, um...

It was pretty brutal.

Okay, whatever. You know, I'm a bad person.

I have vendettas. I suck. I've hurt.

Wow.

Dinner was that bad, huh?

Look, s-sam.

What we wanted To say to you was that...

We are so sorry.

What?

Yeah. You should've listened To us, as your friends.

But, hell, we should've Listened to you, too.

Yeah, I didn't make Stupid cheerleaders,

And it was a blow,

But you lost your dad.

Doesn't really compare.

Sammie, when harrison Told me how upset you were,

I was totally shocked.

Why didn't you tell me?

I didn't want you guys To think I was a big baby.

Sammie, look.

This brooke mcqueen thing...

You think you're alone, But you're not.

You have friends Who care about you.

We wanna help you Through this situation

If you'll just let us.

Thanks, guys.

Okay, so, what do you Guys want to do tonight?

We could rent a bug's life.

Watch sugar bawl Like a baby again.

I can't help it. They're Just so small and helpless.

So, um...

I have an announcement To make, everybody.

I'm not gonna be able To make it out tonight.

It's just that, uh, All week long I've been...

Hearing these... Voices in my head

From my dad, My coach, my mom...

My girlfriend,

And, uh...

I think what I need to do Is just take a while to...

Clear all the voices out So I can hear on my own.

No. I deserve that.

I deserve it.

I need your eyes This morning, mr. Vincent.

Tell me. What do you see?

I see... [exhales]

A man--

A man who goes to the gym--

Uh, creeping around In a dark room.

Oh, how intriguing. And what is he wearing?

Uh...

It appears to be a...

Cat suit. Designer?

The international male catalog.

And what is this Glamorous burglar doing?

A little... cats To... Limber up.

Um, a little...

lord of the dance.

Faaaaabulous.

And now?

Um... He appears to be...

Taking a...

File of some sort.

Which does not belong to him?

Yes.

And that would be a...

Felony.

Mr. Vincent has resigned, my Children, effective immediately.

Celia, 12 o'clock.

Oh.

Honey, get a guide dog.

[cecilia] Bobbi? Yes, obi-wan.

Tell me about lily esposito.

Your bio class had Their first pop quiz

On amphibian anatomy.

Didn't they? How did miss lily score?

Um... 98%.

That is wonderful!

Now you can cease and desist Your frog-purse torture.

We're here to encourage A child's spirit, not abuse it.

Yes, ma'am.

Principal hall, there's a catchy Song I can't get out of my head,

And that song is... "Hot for teacher."

[peritti] Yeah.

What's up with luke grant And sam mcpherson?

I heard you Caught 'em in the act.

As for mr. Grant,

I am 100% convinced that All will turn out well.

Coach peritti, You are to refrain

From treating josh ford As your personal yo-yo.

And...

Give a listen to the south pacific libretto.

It's all about The power of tolerance.

[toilet flushes]

Look. I'm sorry I slapped you.

No. I... I deserved it.

When I got home last night, My dad was a wreck.

He was just sitting in his chair

Watching his favorite the best of johnny carson tape.

Yeah. I... I know. All my mom said to me

This morning was a very Distinctive, hurt "Thanks."

I didn't listen to her Or how she felt.

I guess they really Love each other.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then there's You and me.

Two people who really Don't like each other at all.

Well, this ought To be interesting.

Very.

I'm really sorry You didn't get a choice.

Thanks for giving me one.

Last rites?

Yeah.

A moment of silence, please.

I wanted to tell you I really Respect you for what you did.

Not, uh, cavin' in and... Cuttin' him all up, I mean.

How's the whole big dilemma Going with the team And the musical?

It's tough goin'.

Every second of every day is Like this superhuman effort

Not to cave in to what People want me to do.

Don't cave.

Stay true to yourself And what you want.

I don't know How long I can make it.

Actually, it's The only way to make it.

Um...

Bye, little dude.

Godspeed.

♪ to bend and not to break ♪

♪ chin up, try not to quake ♪

♪ I'm grinning on the outside ♪

♪ but I'm a wreck internally ♪

♪ ooh, la la la la ♪

♪ ooh, la la la la ♪