Original subtitles

Goodbye, Mrs Stubbs. Thank you, Mr Stubbs. It'll keep us going.

(hoots horn)

Vernon!

Vernon!

Vernon?

- Vernon! - Now then, veterinary.

I were having a shave. I take it slow with a new blade.

- So what about these pigs? - Dead. One of 'em, anyroad.

- I see. - You'll want to take a look, I dare say.

Yes! Please.

What I say is, death is part of life.

Well, that's one way of looking at it.

Hold that, please.

Do you know, Vernon, I have a very strange feeling of deja vu.

Deja vu? Oh, aye?

It means we have been here before.

Have we?

- 14 weeks old, aren't they? - I couldn't rightly say.

Puffy eyes.

- Notice any symptoms before it died? - Symptoms?

- Was it ataxic? - Ataxic?

Come on, Vern. You've heard the word before. Ataxic!

Did it stagger like it was drunk or something?

I do seem to bring to mind it didn't look that steady.

But you know how it is for farmers -

buzzing round like a blue-arsed fly, no time to scratch your…

- Well, you can't be everywhere at once. - Have you changed the feed recently?

Now, that's a hard one. I may have. I couldn't be just sure about that.

Well, I could. What is the point giving you professional advice if you never take it?

This is bowel oedema.

- Again. - Is that right?

Yes, that's right. They do not take kindly to sudden changes in their diet.

Continuity of feeding, remember?

- Why bother? I've told you all this before. - Well, it won't happen again.

- Really? - No, it's all change round here.

Everything's going to be different.

- I'm to be wed. - Are you? Anyone I know?

No. I cast my net wide when I were looking. I've got what I wanted.

What a lucky girl. Right. Let's see the others, shall we?

Right. Now, they are in fair condition.

- You'll see if I'm not right. - I do hope so, Vern.

Funny thing is, it were the two best-looking that died.

Well, that's often the case with bowel oedema. And I've told you that before, too.

- Good morning. - Morning.

I hope your dog doesn't get excited by cats. I…

He doesn't get excited about anything much. Not these days.

He's the picture of health, I must say. Beautifully behaved, too.

Good morning. Who's first?

- Come in. Come in, please. - (dog barks)

What have we here?

Good Lord. Lady Hulton. What a surprise.

- How very good to see you. - Hello, Mr Farnon.

Hello. Hello. And this must be…

- Bess. - Bess. Of course.

You couldn't forget. She covered your suit with hair last time you were at the Hall.

Absolutely. Nothing if not friendly. I do remember.

But what a magnificent evening that was.

Now then, my beauty, what's your problem?

It's her eyes.

Oh, yes. I can see that it is. All right, lovely.

It's conjunctivitis. Beastly thing. You were quite right to bring her here.

Good.

Otherwise, she seems to be fairly healthy.

Yes, it's just her eyes. One can't stop her rubbing them.

No, of course not. Her coat's in excellent condition.

Oh, yes. Mr Bennett has always been a great advocate of fresh meat.

Oh, the great Granville Bennett, eh?

Well, now, I'm going to get you some ointment which you'll need.

Here we are.

I don't know when I last saw Granville. He keeps so infernally busy over there.

This is it.

Of course, we're very busy here, too.

Rushed off our feet most of the time.

He's away at present, salmon fishing in Perthshire.

Ah, yes. Here we are.

I say! Holiday, eh?

Lucky fellow. Yes, I could do with a change of scenery myself.

Yes.

Mr Bennett is a remarkable man, isn't he? So modern in his thinking.

Yes, he is.

Mind you, we try and keep up to date here as far as we possibly can.

Now, what I want you to do is to - just like this - smear a little of this on.

All right, puss. All right.

On your eyelids, like that, you see?

- Three times a day, if you would. - Of course.

And then I would like to see Bess again

because conjunctivitis can be an initial symptom

of something rather more serious.

- I could come up to the Hall if you'd like. - Oh, I wouldn't hear of it.

- No trouble. - I'll bring her here.

As a farmer's wife myself, I know farms are your priority - the larger animals.

Oh, you'd be surprised. We see quite a lot of small domestic animals here.

You feel quite comfortable with small animals, do you?

- You get on well with them, you feel? - Absolutely.

I always feel that they have an instinctive awareness

of when one's trying to help them.

- Hello, Jack. Hello, Mrs Mason. - (Jack barks)

Oh, well…

In Jack's case, I'm not at all sure that he regards my efforts in his behalf

as being helpful.

- Why would that be? - We're good friends really, aren't we?

(barks and growls)

Well, you see, Lady Hulton, Mrs Mason asked me…

(Jack growls)

The fact of the matter was, Jack was making rather a nuisance of himself.

Wasn't he, Mrs Mason? Yes, he was.

He was making a grand nuisance of himself

among all the bitches in the neighbourhood.

So we had to take action, didn't we, Mrs Mason? Yes, Jack, we did.

Last week, I rendered him rather joyless. In fact, I picked his pockets for him.

- You castrated him. - Yes, I did.

Since when, we haven't enjoyed quite the same sunny relationship.

He alone knows what on earth he thinks I'm going to do to him next.

Goodbye, Mr Farnon. Thank you so much.

Oh, please…

Thank you.

Goodbye.

(Jack growls)

Good old Jack. Would you like to come in?

Oh, you've seen it all before, Mr Herriot.

He was waiting on the Helvington Road. For how long, Lord alone knows.

Waiting for his owners to come back, I suppose.

It's no wonder he's frightened. His whole world turned upside down in a moment.

- This leg's no good. - I was hoping it was a temporary thing,

but there's no doubt now it's serious. I've not once seen him set it down.

It feels like a fractured femur. It must have happened months ago.

It has formed a callous, but it's a nonunion fracture. There'll be no real healing at all.

You mean his owners must have known he'd broken his leg and done nothing?

That's exactly what I'm saying, Sister Rose. Totally neglected.

I hate to see a dog afraid of people.

Well, he won't stay afraid of you for very long, will he?

There's an infection, so I'll give him a shot.

Incidentally, I had a chap in the surgery from Leeds, said he knew about you.

- No! - Mm-hm.

He said, "That nun what gives up her spare time to look after stray dogs?"

Oh, for goodness' sake!

It seemed such a marvellous idea, I didn't tell him you were a nurse.

- There we are. - Good boy.

Do you know, when your father telephoned, I was positive he'd said "dog".

No, frog.

Yes, I spotted the difference, Susie, almost at once.

Sorry. It's not mine, it's my brother's.

Yeah, well, I'm going to be absolutely frank with you, Susie.

There's an absence of frog farms around Darrowby,

and that means that he's not a creature that I come across much in the surgery,

so I'm going to look him up.

See, the trouble is that, uh…

that little growth of fungus there, following an abrasion.

That graze. Hm? But as to what the cure may be…

You'll have to get used to looking things up. We've got all sorts of animals.

- Is that so? - Yes. That's one reason we moved here.

We've got a goat and a grass snake and two parrots…

- Goodness me. A real menagerie. - Mm.

We like Darrowby, but they say it gets cold in the winter.

Do they, now?

It's absolutely true.

Yes, now, here we are.

Now, what we have to do - I learn -

is soak the wound in…

paraffin for a few minutes

and then rinse with fresh water.

- Is that all? - No.

You have to get him into mud afterwards.

Amazing what you find out, isn't it?

Are you all right?

- There we are. Good dog. - Thanks.

- You've got a visitor. - Oh, he was here the other day. Nice man.

- (James) Rupert Nellist. - Right.

He used to live in Darrowby. Moved on to Hargrove. He's a town councillor now.

Hello, Rupe. How are you?

Now then, it's Mr Herriot, isn't it? I thought I recognised you.

- Hello again, Mr Nellist. - Hello, Sister.

- Come to a decision yet? - I haven't, no.

Well, I didn't think I had.

Rupe, that old Jack Russell of yours?

Passed over, Mr Herriot. He was a good old dog.

Yes, he was. I lost Dan… oh, quite a while ago.

So you know how it is, then.

- This one's new, isn't he? - (SisterRose) Mm.

- What did you call him? - Well, it's not very original, but Titch.

Aye?

Well, that'll do. And he'll do, too.

I don't know. He's in a state. We haven't had a chance to do anything for him yet.

And he's very lame, I'm afraid.

Well, so am I. Or hadn't you noticed?

No. I like him and he likes me, and there's an end to it.

Now then, here's a little something for your collection box.

Oh, it's a fortune! Thank you.

Oh, it's nothing at all.

- You can't buy what I come for. - You'll bring him to the surgery, Rupe?

Aye, I'll do that. It'll be like old times. I can take him now, then?

Well, I don't see why not. Sister?

No, no reason at all. All he needs is plenty of food and love.

Now, boy, how would you like to come home with me?

That's settled, then.

Come on.

No, it's nothing to do with money.

Come on. Come on.

- Bye, Rupe. - Bye, Mr Nellist.

Well, that was a surprise.

An instant decision, and apparently the right one.

It's moments like these that keep me going.

Hello, Siegfried.

- It's amazing what they can do nowadays. - Who?

- Vets. Us. Vets. - What is that?

It's Ruddock's article on small-animal practice.

I didn't think you were interested. Anyway, we have Vernon Harker to deal with.

Lazy good-for-nothing. Not mended his ways?

New feed, bowel oedema. If there was a register of farmers, he'd be struck off.

He thinks of nothing but himself.

And he is getting married.

- I don't believe it. Who to? - I don't know, but he's awfully pleased.

Some dewy-eyed heiress, I'll be bound.

Some lass with brass or land. After all, Vernon's his own most prized possession.

He's not going to part with that for nothing.

And how was the wonderful Sister Rose, James?

How on earth did you…? I only squeezed that visit in at the very last minute.

Rupert Nellist looked in earlier this evening

with what had once been a jolly little dog.

- Oh, Titch. That was quick. - He's very concerned about him.

He seems sound enough apart from the leg.

- I took an x-ray, James. - Oh, good idea.

There you are. Look.

Look.

X-rays, James. Penicillin.

A whole range of sulphur preparations. Makes you think, doesn't it?

- Does it? - Well, it's the new world.

The new world of veterinary practice.

I mean, with the new drugs that are now readily available to us,

treatment of large animals becomes progressively less arduous.

Meanwhile, there's a burgeoning population of small animals.

A positive explosion of cats and dogs, James.

We have the time and we simply must have the will

to develop that side of the practice.

Before you got Polly, you said the only true dog was a working dog.

I never said that. No. No, you're misquoting me, James.

No, I approve of pets.

They provide companionship for the owner, interest,

they're a source of exercise for the owner.

Just think of the delight in the owner's eye when you're able to say to him:

"Your dog - or your cat - is now restored to the rudest of rude health."

"That will be ten and sixpence, if you please."

- Heart-warming moment, Siegfried. - Mm.

What I ask myself, James, is who, with ten and six to spare,

is going to bother to look in here?

I mean, just look around at this room, James!

- Well, it's a bit shabby, I grant you. - It's antediluvian!

The whole practice is geared to the farming,

yet there's no reason why we shouldn't function in an efficient, modern manner.

Well, you've been jolly efficient, Siegfried, keeping this book up to date.

- And Lady Hulton was in today. - Yes.

Siegfried, is there the slightest connection

between her visit and your vision for our future?

No, certainly not. Why on earth should you think that?

She's Granville's client, isn't she?

Yes, she is. He's on holiday.

Ah.

James, I know comparisons are odious,

but there's no mistaking that in Lady Hulton's mind

we do not at all measure up to Granville's establishment - not at all.

Well, we wouldn't, would we?

I can't help reflecting that, geographically,

we're much nearer the Hulton estate than Granville is.

You think we should poach Lady Hulton from Granville, do you?

Certainly not. Never steal another man's clients.

- No, no, no. No. Of course not. - But you see my point, do you, James?

I mean, we could do with a few more clients like…

well, like Lady Hulton, to take a random example,

and a few less like Vernon Harker and Biggins, Mallaby, Grimsdale,

and the Birtwhistle family, come to that.

The time wasters. Dear old Len Birtwhistle.

Yes, James. If you would turn to the page for Thursday,

you'll begin to see what I mean.

Where's your father? He's always here for TB testing.

Oh, aye, well, he says I'm of an age when I've to take on more responsibility.

He said that the very day Newcastle won the cup

for the second year in succession, just this past spring.

You see, what with Kestrels and not even Darlington being league clubs,

I follow Newcastle for interest, in the papers.

With Jackie Milburn in the team, who wouldn't?

Small wonder they scored 98 goals this past season.

No. Um… Y4379.

- 98. It's amazing, isn't it? - Len, Y4379.

But any team as can score 13 goals in one game, well…

Well, that were in 1946, mind you. But still, 13, eh?

- What were that number, Mr Herriot? - I've forgotten.

When you look at their record, you could think they're starting to slip.

See, they were fourth in the first division in the season before last with 49 points.

- Y… - I couldn't tell you why, but it's a fact.

Then this last season, they were eighth in the table with 45 points.

Len, will you please write "Y4379"?

Got it. 'Ey, we're getting on well, Mr Herriot.

Now, in '49-'50, they were fifth with 50,

and in '48-'49, they were fourth in the table and 56.

- Amazing. - So you see what I mean?

They could be slipping. Looking back in time, there's a pattern if you care to find it.

If you don't stop talking about Newcastle United, I am leaving this farm right now.

If you have to talk while you're working, talk about Sunderland, eh?

Sunderland?

Yes, I know what you're talking about. I just can't see it, somehow.

Can't you? Well, it's quite simple, really.

I mean, smarten the place up a bit, make it more attractive for the choosier clients.

I should've thought a woman would have all sorts of ideas.

I suppose I'm just used to the funny old place.

There! "Funny old place" - that's it. That's what people think about it.

Where would you start? Where could you start?

Everywhere!

Everything. The seating.

More comfortable, don't you think? Yes.

Hang some prints on the walls. Landseer reproductions might be suitable.

Yes. And respectable reading matter.

You know the kind of thing - Field, Country Life - on a low, polished table.

An electric fire for the winter. A feeling of reassurance…

- Siegfried, it'll cost a fortune. - Well, if it does, it'll just have to.

Amusing wallpaper.

- The occasional vase of flowers. - Yes, that's it. Now you've got it.

A silver cigarette box with a choice of Turkish or Virginian.

A baby grand in the corner with a gent in evening dress playing Strauss.

Yes. Scented tea for the clients in fine bone china cups. What do you think?

Yes, it's practically a tea dance at the end of every surgery. Come on, Siegfried.

What you're thinking about is a discreetly expensive hotel, not a vet's waiting room.

- Do you know, I believe you're right. - Yes, I am.

All the same, tea dances at Skeldale is a magnificent idea.

It would be an honour to be asked to dance with the senior partner.

Oh, naturally. One would be quite overcome with the privilege.

Not a great deal of room, but nevertheless, Mrs Herriot, will you do me the honour?

I'm completely overwhelmed by your condescension, Mr Farnon.

How very gracious of you.

(Siegfried hums waltz music)

Lady Hulton. This is my partner's wife.

- Helen. - Helen.

There's times I feel privileged to be a supporter at Kestrels.

I know what you're going to say. I'd have to agree.

Nobody could say they're up to Newcastle's standards.

But they can entertain with the best of them, can Kestrels.

They've got this one lad who can head a ball like nobody's business.

Gives it a right thump. Centre forward, of course.

I reckon he could sign professional forms any day.

He gets up there and he hangs in the air like… Iike he were a kestrel.

Good, eh? Should've seen the hat trick he got in the opening game.

- That were a cracking game. - Can't wait to hear about it.

No? Oh, I'll tell you, Mr Herriot. Passes the time, doesn't it?

Anyway, Kestrels were playing down in Middleham. We went out there…

(Rupert) I couldn't ask for a better companion. He can do everything but talk.

You could see he was affectionate from the start,

but I'd never have guessed how intelligent he is.

- I'm sure he is. - Think I've gone soft, do you, Sister?

Only if I'm soft too, Mr Nellist.

- Morning. Sorry I'm late. - Oh, I only got back a few minutes ago.

Found me waiting, she did. Me and our friend here.

Good morning, councillor. Or is it prospective mayor?

- Awful lot of rumours floating around. - I started most of them myself.

Well, I wish you luck. Hello, boy.

Hello. Well, look at you.

- Oh, he seems fine, Rupe. - He is that. A right little monkey.

Mr Nellist has worked wonders already.

That's what I've driven all these miles to hear. I only came to show him off.

- And the leg? - Aye, well, he won't step on it still.

No.

- I've seen the x-ray, Rupe. - You have? And?

- Well, we knew it was too late for plaster. - That's honest, anyroad.

He seems to be fine. I don't suppose he even thinks about it any more.

- Well, I notice it. - He's a good chap, even with a limp.

He's the best there is, Sister. I'd give a lot to make him sound again.

Well, good day to you. Come on, boy.

- Rupe, there is an operation, actually. - Is there?

You rejoin the broken bones, then pin them together.

- You can do that, can you? - Well, yes, at the time of the injury, but…

You think about it. I'll do whatever you advise.

Right.

So, what's on today, Sister Rose?

An abscess, a few cuts and bruises.

- Let's get on with it, then. - Have you, uh…

Have you ever pinned a dog's broken leg, Mr Herriot?

Not only have I never pinned a dog's broken bone, Sister Rose,

but I can't guarantee it'll have the desired result in this case.

You'll come to the right decision, I know.

(cat whines)

The conjunctivitis is vastly improved, at any rate.

Where exactly do you think Bess would've picked up these ear mites, Mr Farnon?

Almost anywhere, Lady Hulton.

Not here, of course. Almost anywhere else.

There's just a little infection there, but I don't think it'll be a problem for long.

Good. Well, thank you so much, Mr Farnon.

Right, then.

There'll be some drops for you this time.

Perhaps I should start a collection.

(Siegfried) I don't think it'll come to that.

Now, what it'll be is three drops a day

until I see Bess again.

And will you be very sure to massage them well…

into the ear?

- There we are. - Thank you.

All right? Oh, dear. It is inky.

- Hello. - (Siegfried) Hello, James.

I don't believe you've met Lady Hulton, have you?

No. How do you do, Lady Hulton? I've met your husband, of course.

- And I've met your wife. - Of course. She told me about it just now.

Good. I won't keep you. I'm sure you have important work.

- Yes, we do, actually. - Goodbye, then.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye, Lady Hulton.

Please don't hesitate to drop in at any time so that we can check Bess's progress.

- Thank you. - Yes. Bye.

- Important work, James? - To discuss, yes. Where's Titch's x-ray?

The second drawer down.

Yes.

I'm afraid I gave Rupe the impression that we could pin Titch's femur.

Did you now? lnteresting.

I remember watching Granville Bennett doing one of these pinning jobs.

- All in a day's work to him. - It's a hell of a mess, isn't it?

Possibly, James.

- Nevertheless, we're going to do it. - Are we?

It's exactly the sort of thing we should be doing. It's what I've been talking about.

For heaven's sake, you and Calum never stop gassing on about these operations.

You must be well up in the theory of them at least.

- Yes, I suppose so. - New instruments, James.

We shall need new instruments. What fun, eh, James?

- Siegfried… - Instruments, instruments. Listen, James.

I spent yesterday going round the entire house

getting rid of all the relics of the old ways.

I'll tell you one thing I'm certain of.

If all else fails, we can set up as scrap-metal merchants.

Just look at this lot. Look at it. Look at it all.

It's all got to go.

(James chuckles)

Well, you could start a museum, Siegfried.

Well…

Got a toothache?

I also came across, James, the ingredients for my famous party trick -

how to drive iodine into wounds in horses' feet.

At least, that was the theory of it. It impressed the farmers.

- Do you remember? - Go on, then.

- Little dish. - Yes.

Nothing up my sleeve.

Resublimated iodine. The first thing you showed me when I came here.

I was totally in awe of you. Well, till you did this.

Now then, those were the great days, James.

Ugh! Turpentine. I still remember the shock, you know.

- Are you ready? - Proceed, O master.

- (James imitates drum roll) - (Siegfried hums a fanfare)

- Aaargh! - Bravo!

Ole!

(coughs)

So sorry to disturb your work.

I mislaid my bag.

He's over here. I put him aside the moment I spotted it,

and then I took it upon me sen to call you up.

- Good idea. - I said to meself, "Len,

it's your responsibility. You're in charge."

And I am, cos Dad's at auction. So I'm in complete control of the whole farm.

That's some responsibility, is that.

You'd never know it, but I were never a prefect at school.

Don't ask me why, but it never happened.

- But I'll tell you a funny thing now. - It is not looking good.

On the one occasion they gave me responsibility, I rose to that occasion.

- I were captain in a practice match… - Forgive my interrupting,

but would you mind coming in and holding his head? Please?

Keep still. Keep still.

And I'll tell you, no word of a lie, I scored the winning goal that day.

It were the best I'd hit and the best game I'd played.

- Thank you so much. - I was up front one minute, back the next.

I'd crossed the ball in for one goal. The score were two all.

I found meself in my own half with the ball and nobody to pass to.

- So I set off on a run… - You can let him go.

- ..straight down the middle of the pitch. - His pelvis is fractured.

I can remember every man I beat, four of 'em. First one, I…

His breeding days… his breeding days are over.

- He'll have to be put down. - Second one, I went around.

There's just the centre half and fullback now, and that centre half were good.

Len, will you listen? Your father's best tup has a fractured pelvis

and the only thing we can do for him is to put him down.

That's bad news, that.

Len, it's the worst news.

I'll tell you one thing. I do not envy you having to tell your father.

No.

What happened was I put the ball through the legs of that centre half and went past,

then there was just the fullback. I had a bit of luck cos I ran straight into him.

The ball bounced just right for me, back into my stride line.

I pulled back my right foot and let fly.

I bet if we'd had a net, I'd have bust it. The goalkeeper never stood a chance.

It is quite a big sign, Mrs Mason.

Surgery finished early, but it'll be business as usual tonight.

- The vets are both busy just now. - It's not much of a service.

Come back later. All right?

I don't think you'll get the bones any fresher.

Nor do I.

Right.

- Time for the chuck and the pin. - We're running short of time, you know.

We've reached the moment of truth, James, anyway.

I must confess, I feel a touch nervous.

Thank you.

Ready?

As I'll ever be.

(phone rings)

Hello. Darrowby 385.

Yes, hello, Mr Nellist.

Oh, it's going extremely well, yes.

It's just taking a bit of time, that's all.

Yes, I know. It must be a very worrying time for you.

No, but we're not worried here.

Yes, I'll tell them. Thank you, Mr Nellist.

Goodbye.

He's coming round. How much longer?

- Top him up. - I'd really rather not drive him any deeper.

- I'm only asking for five minutes. - Right.

And I want him absolutely still when I start stitching.

I take a pride in my sewing.

How… How are we doing?

Well, I think we can say

that the first part of the operation

has been a complete success.

Mr Herriot!

Now then, Mr Herriot.

Morning.

More trouble? I'm not supposed to visit today, am I?

- No, I were taking a break, that's all. - Oh, a break.

I saw you and I thought perhaps you'd like to see some snaps of the wedding.

Oh?

- Oh. Yes, that'd be nice, Vern. - I carry 'em with me.

Good thinking.

They're none too sharp, but you get the idea.

They're very nice, Vern. Very nice indeed.

- Thanks. - I thought you might like to see them.

- It must've been a splendid day. - It were.

Right, well, I'll be off.

- Don't work too hard. - I'm with you there, Mr Herriot.

So, Rupe, tomorrow's the great day, eh? You've waited a long time for this.

Aye. I think I can do some good if I get the chance.

I'll drink to that, Rupe.

I must say, it'll be a great honour to have a mayor on our list of clients.

- I'm a patient man, Mr Farnon. - Evidently.

But I wonder how much longer I'm going to have to be patient about little Titch.

We didn't make any promises, Rupe. There are no guarantees.

The pin is out now and…

- And nothing's changed. - We've done all we can.

I wish I could make him sound by sheer willpower, but I can't.

No, I'm sorry. I spoke out of turn, perhaps.

It's just…

Well, he's become very important to me, you see. I couldn't say quite why.

Something to do with my own disability, maybe. That was polio, as you know.

There was nothing that could be done. You just have to accept it.

But with little Titch,

maybe it's the perfectionist in me, but I want to make things right for him.

You know, I'm a bit of a perfectionist myself, Rupe,

but there are times when you can't argue with nature.

You do your best and you just pray she's on your side.

And I can only repeat that, as far as we're concerned, the operation was successful.

I understand. It's just wait and see.

That's about the size of it.

There's hope. Of course there is.

If I was another man, I might wish he never does improve.

With this limp, he's quite an asset when I'm canvassing for support.

I can imagine.

- What are your chances? - Wait and see, eh?

There we are. That's better, isn't it?

- OK? - Fine. Absolutely fine.

- Oh, good. - There we are.

- Thanks. You'll not have seen this yet. - No, not yet.

- Page five. - Uh-huh.

Oh, he's done it!

Well, they're very sensible, you know, the people of Hargrove.

"Reception at town hall." He always has Titch with him, doesn't he?

Yes. And the leg's getting better?

No. He hasn't put any weight at all on it yet.

He doesn't seem to want to even try.

- Bit of a failure, I'm afraid. - A gallant failure, if it is one.

I know you both did your best.

Oh, well. Let's have a cup of tea, shall we?

- We can toast His Worship the Mayor. - Mm.

There isn't much you can do except keep them quiet - if that's possible.

Good morning, James! Good morning, good morning!

I'll come out now, Mrs Harker. I'll be there within half an hour. Goodbye.

Good Lord. That's not the Mrs Vernon Harker, the dewy-eyed heiress, is it?

- It is. - And?

She sounds very, um… practical.

Well, well, James. Things are looking up. You see?

One of our most recalcitrant farmers has come under sensible management,

and I believe, unless we blot our copybooks again with Lady Hulton,

we shall have her in our veterinary clutches.

I suppose it's too much to ask that Len Birtwhistle should stop talking?

You suppose correctly. You have no idea.

And we now have among our clients the Mayor of Hargrove, no less.

An upstanding and reliable citizen, which is the main thing.

Did you know he was making a personal appearance at the town hall tomorrow?

Yes, I saw.

Well, I thought we might trot over, James, if we can find the time.

Well, cheer up, James. Buck up, old man. All's well with the world.

- Except with Vernon's pigs. - What's the matter with them?

Poisoning. Not content with neglecting his stock, he's finding other ways to kill them.

I know, James. Never much fun up there, is it? Never mind. All is not lost.

- Onward and upward. - (phone rings)

I'll go. My turn.

Darrowby 385. Good morning!

Mr Thornton?

Ah, yes! Father of girl with frog. Am I not right?

Name of Susie - isn't that correct?

Yes, I thought so. Now, what…

You have a what?

And what's wrong with it?

Yes, that's what I thought you said.

Ah, well, yes, we do have a surgery this morning. I can't deny that.

Uh, James, just one moment.

Yes. Yes, of course. All right. Fine. Goodbye.

James, a word. I've been thinking. I hope you won't take this personally,

but I believe that my presence up at that farm could make all the difference.

- A fresh face, you know? - Do you think so?

I do. So I'm prepared to face the perils of the Harker farm myself this morning.

- Siegfried, I took the call. I'll go. - No, no, James. I really mean it.

Give me your list of calls and hop back in and put your feet up.

- I'd hardly do that, would I? - You know what I mean. Come on.

I don't see why, Siegfried.

Yes, I do. You would like to take a look at the dewy-eyed heiress, right?

You're a mind-reader, James. Come on, now. The list.

Oh, all right.

- Thanks a lot. - I'll just get my tackle.

Some sort of poisoning, you said?

Yes, sounds like it.

Who was that on the phone?

Uh… Oh, that was just an inquiry about surgery, James.

- Ah. - Bye.

There you are, Mrs Pluckett.

Oh. Come in.

That's twice a day, and let's hope it does some good.

Thank you.

- Goodbye. - Bye-bye.

Right. Good…

grief.

- Are you one of the vets? - Afraid so, yes.

My father phoned about Zaffa - him - only just now.

I thought Mr Farnon would be here.

- You don't know him. - Sorry?

No, no. Nothing. What exactly did your father say to Mr Farnon?

Well, that this poor old boy here has got the most dreadful attack of diarrhoea.

I see.

Fine. Well, I'm sure we've got something here that I can give him.

But the procedure is to have a look first.

I'm Susie Thornton. I should've said.

Hello. I'm James Herriot. Good with strangers, is he?

- Oh, he's used to attention. - Excellent. Let's have him out, shall we?

He likes women better than men, though.

Zaffa! Come back here!

Come on!

Oh, no. I'm terribly sorry, Mr Herriot.

It's going to be really hard to get him down now.

- He gets playful, you see. - Does he?

Well…

it's diarrhoea all right.

- Well, it's poison, there's no doubt. - Is that right?

To find the source, one must look at the animals' surroundings,

which couldn't be more different from last time.

That were the missus. She's creosoted top to bottom. Made a grand job on it.

- She's going to have to scrub it all off. - Why's that, Mr Farnon?

Well, because it's the creosote that's poisoned your pigs.

It's good for preserving wood, but on pigs it has just the opposite effect.

- Is that right? - Get the animals out till this is cleared off.

- (manly voice) Vernon? Vernon Harker? - That's the missus now.

There's a cup of tea for you and the veterinary!

Come on in! Look sharp about it!

She's what you might call a rough diamond, Mr Farnon. But strong.

- By heck, I've seen nowt like her. - Strong?

As an horse. And you should see her son.

- Her son? - Aye. Tom.

You come over here this minute!

I'll not be making a fresh pot, so let's be having you.

Best humour her.

But first we must get those pigs away from here.

Never you mind about that, veterinary. Tom!

That boy's not turned 16 yet, but he pulls his weight like a full-grown man.

(Siegfried) Good Lord.

This is the veterinary, Tom. He'd like you to move all those pigs out here.

Well done, you.

My missus.

- Good morning, Mrs Harker! - Come on, then. Inside.

I'm afraid I'm a bit pressed for time, Mrs Harker.

You've got time for a nice cup of tea, veterinary.

Do as she says, Mr Farnon.

Will you tell her about the creosote or shall I?

Um…

- James, my dear boy! - Siegfried, don't you dare!

- What on earth…? - You know exactly what happened!

My God, you landed me in it. That beast escaped before I had time to get near it.

For heaven's sake, James. It's just a spot of diarrhoea.

Just a spot? Siegfried, look at it!

James, it's just one of the inconveniences of small-animal practice

we'll simply have to learn to take in our stride.

I'm sorry, James.

I must say, I never imagined anything quite on this scale!

I just looked in for some more of those drops, Mr Farnon.

Oh, come in, Lady Hulton. Do, please, come in.

- Hello, Mr Herriot. - Lady Hulton.

Good heavens!

Now, it was ear drops, wasn't it, Lady Hulton?

I'm sure I'll be able to find you some somewhere.

- Or is it the eye again? - At present, Mr Farnon, it's the nose.

(chuckling)

It's monkey business, Lady Hulton. What you see here is monkey business.

- (giggling) It's bound to be somewhere. - I rather think…

Please, don't worry. It's not important.

Mr Bennett is back now and I shouldn't need to trouble you again.

- No! No… - No, please, don't bother yourself.

It's not so far for me to go on to Mr Bennett.

But thank you, both of you, for all your help and advice,

and, uh…

for all the entertainment.

You'll see, James, next time you're out there, she abuses him unmercifully.

- I'll look forward to that. - She's not an heiress. I don't understand.

He could've had the pick of any lass in the Dales.

He has got everything he's always wanted.

She'll obviously do all the farm work. He'll never lift a finger again.

(Siegfried) So he wanted some kind of live-in farm labourer as a wife?

Well, it's cheaper than hiring one, isn't it? And in this case, he's got two.

(Siegfried) Yes, I do suppose the size of her son must've helped enormously

when Vernon came to make the decision.

Just think of it. He'll never have to go to the tedious bother of…

- breeding an heir. - (laughs)

- Hello, Sister Rose. - Mr Herriot. Mr Farnon! You here, too?

My dear, I wouldn't miss it for the world -

Rupe's first public appearance. Neither would you.

Well, to tell you the truth, I'm really here to see Titch.

Me too.

(applause)

Thank you, everyone. Thank you. And thank you for being so patient.

I only want to say today that, in me,

you see a man of action, not words, so…

Oh, I see you're ahead of me. So I'll shut up, then.

Hey, James, James. Look.

Poor little soul. He's only relieving himself.

Well, yes. But he's standing on his bad leg to do it, isn't he?