All language subtitles for Dead on the Vine 2022 1080p WEBRip DDP 5 1 10bit H 265-iVy

Thank you.

Please. Can we bring him in?

We didn't.

We should call the doctor.

It's happened before. He'll be fine. He
just needs some rest.

If you're sure.

Just give him about half an hour.

Sorry, I needed that. I thought you
might.

Make sure you drink some water.

Do you own all of this?

Yes.

It's beautiful.

Quiet. I know.

I wouldn't know what to do with all this
space.

You're from London.

Yeah, how do you know?

People from London always say that.

Well, space is a premium in London.

That's why we came here.

I can see the attraction.

When did you get it?

2011.

We've got a bottle of wine in a box by
the bar. Our first bottle that year.

Was it a good year?

No, not really.

Just sentimental.

I'm sorry, I don't know your name.

Ellie, sorry, I should have said.

It's been a busy 20 minutes. I'm Joanie.

What's your line of work, Ellis?

I run a marketing company.

Mainly local stuff. Garages,
restaurants, that sort of thing.

Would you like a tour?

Sure.

We can't be long.

We've got this thing on tonight.

If you're busy, I can just sit with
Drayton. Sorry, that's his name. I

have said that too, shouldn't I? He's my
business partner.

Look, if you've got too much on, I can
just sit and watch the tally. Don't be

silly. Come and see our vineyard.

You never know when it might just
disappear.

It's hard enough being an English
vineyard. But an English vineyard that

to stand out?

It's been a challenge.

But we've done it.

We make this wine from seed to bottle.

Healthy wine.

You fill the pot.

Grapes, seeds, stalks, a lot.

Let it all ferment and then let the wine
mature for a couple of seasons.

Everything here is chosen to be natural.

Better.

But there was a cold snap early in the
season.

The frost damaged a lot of the young
grape.

About half died on the vine.

Try this.

It's special.

That is amazing.

I know.

I'll take a case. It's the least I could
do.

Well, we can't right now. We'll set
aside for tonight.

What is tonight?

It's a wine tasting.

But they're always fun.

Well, this one's important. We've got a
lot riding on it.

Come on.

Hey.

Oh, look who just woke up.

Me? Yeah, look who just jumped out of
one of our rooms at me.

Mate, how are you feeling? I did not
jump.

I just... I got confused.

You had one of your turns.

What's going on, Joanie?

Oh, Cora, this is Ellis and his friend
Drayton.

Drayton had a seizure in the car as they
were passing, so they came in here.

Sorry to impose.

I didn't know where else to go.

London? We were meant to go to London.

Why are we here? I'm sorry, mate. I had
to make a split -second choice when you

asked. So, we're still in Rye? Uh, Peace
March, actually.

We should be in London. Don't worry
about it. It's just a short stop. Why

here? You had one of your... I know. I
mean, why are we here? Here!

Come on, just look here. These ladies
haven't taken... You maybe should have

seen a doctor. I'm fine.

I'm hungry, thirsty.

Okay, that's a good sign, right? I don't
know. I just need to eat something.

How long? How long have I been out?

I don't know. It was about 40 minutes.
So long.

Right, okay.

So we can still get back to London
before dark if we leave now.

Yeah. Where are we?

Peasmas. Come on, mate. We need to get
back on the road.

We can stop at the service station.

I could knock you up a pasta or
something.

Yes. No.

We can stop at a pub. There was one
about halfway.

You remember that. It looked nice. Did
food.

I fancy Pat for now.

We need to go. I want to stay.

I'll put on a pot. It's no bother.

Just give us a hand with the tables and
we're square.

If you're sure.

I can lift that.

No, not now. You rest.

I've had a rest.

Well, in that case, I'll put the past on
then.

Come on, mate. Let's go for a walk.

What are you doing?

Having a look.

We need to leave.

Fancy place.

Where's the car?

In the barn.

We can't leave anyway.

Yes, we can.

We had a plan.

We've had a small detour, but it's still
solid.

No, it's not, though.

You said we had to be on the road and
away, straight after the shop. That's

you said.

That didn't happen, so other things will
have happened.

We just need to chill.

Here.

And let it pass.

You're being uncharacteristically calm.

Always am after a turn.

Good. Well, how long are we staying in
this glamorous little rest spot?

Because they've got a thing tonight.

Thing? Yeah, a wine tasting.

I've never been to a wine tasting.

That's because you don't like wine.

No.

So, they've got people coming over.

Yeah, a dozen.

So we need to be gone before they get
here.

Why did you have to offer him lunch
today?

He was hungry.

Then he can go to the cafe on his way
home like his friend said.

Alice. The weirdo who jumped out at me
called for Joe.

He told me Alice.

All good?

I'm just waiting for the inevitable
cancellations.

Positive thinking.

We can't all be born with a sense of
whimsy and a brain like a fairy

More is the pity.

What will we do? Things that have not
yet happened do not exist, and therefore

will not entertain questions about them.

You're not having any?

No, we're a bit busy.

We're saving ourselves.

These tastings are an endurance test.

I always end up with the worst
indigestion.

Just because you're tasting wine?

It's the food. Eight courses is a lot.

Eight courses?

Eight? We used to have one course and a
spoonful of rice pudding if we were

lucky, didn't we?

He likes a fancy restaurant, he does.

I'm a bit of a greasy spoon kind of guy.
I like a greasy spoon. Silver spoon

more like.

He's a bit up himself.

We love him though.

There's nothing wrong with a little bit
of ambition.

Well, you've got all the brains, didn't
you? I didn't. You can draw.

That's true.

I love drawing.

Well, you'd think so in your line of
business.

What was that? She means for the ads.

Oh, right, yeah.

There's not much straight drawing in it
nowadays. It's more concepts.

Oh, do we know about concepts?

Tell them, Cora, about that tap in the
village?

The painter?

Well, I'd never seen anything like it.

Filth. Well, I'm not a prude or
anything, but we didn't want our

thinking that we used grapes in that
way.

It was a tad explicit.

I'm blushing just thinking about it.
Joanie, need a hand?

Was it tits?

Amongst other things.

What with?

Tonight.

Okay. We'll be out of your hair as soon
as we can.

She didn't mean you. No, I didn't. But
we are busy.

Yeah, we are.

OK, enjoy your food.

That was all right.

He's not well.

I know.

I hope he gets better. Just not here,
not now.

Anyway, which one of these do you
prefer?

I don't think the, um... Cora.

Her name's Cora.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I was
going to say. No, it isn't. But go on.

I don't think she likes me.

But you're so lovable.

I think I scared her. Don't worry about
it. Eat up.

Where are we going to go?

I don't know.

I don't think it's a good idea to stay
here.

Why would he tell you his name is Ellis
when it's not?

You're so noisy.

I'd just like to know who I'm dealing
with.

You always get like this before an
event.

I'm just waiting for the moment where
you tell me you don't want to come and

I do it alone?

I always do it, in the end.

There's always an hour where you hide in
your room.

Even back in Glasgow you'd do that.
That's because our manager was a racist

little shit who thought my duties should
start and end with the washing up.

Here's a turd.

Still doesn't explain the name, though.

How's the food?

Bon appétit.

Is your name Joe?

Yeah, how did you know?

Your friend said Joe when he bumped into
me as soon as he met you.

Yeah, well, Joe is my dad's name.

Total dickhead.

Ruined the name, didn't he, mate?

And this is my surname.

He used to get called Little Joe, but he
didn't like that. He'd get so angry.

So... After that, we called him Mighty
Joe, like the monkey.

Ape, actually.

Right, yeah. You know Mighty Joe Young?
The King Kong rip -off?

No?

Anyway, used to piss him off loads, so
when his dad buggered off, twerk, he

changed his name to Ellis.

Not legally, just with an answer to Joe.
Except me, Mighty Joe.

Thanks for that.

Name, treasure troves of intrigue.

Is Drayton your first or second name?

Street name.

Oh, like a rapper?

No,

I got abandoned as a kid. They found me
sat in a phone box on Drayton Road,

Halston, when I was two.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, so they didn't know what to call
me, and I couldn't talk much then, so

they decided on Drayton. I like it.

What's your first name, then?

Chris.

His first name is Chris.

Chris. Is it a name?

Well, horrible, isn't it?

I think we should get one that times or
plays opera.

The buzz is so harsh.

Carly, how are you?

Constable Wainwright, please, Joanie.
This isn't a social call. Can I come in?

Not more fake wine claims from Mrs
Morgan. She's crazy.

There's been an incident in Rye.

Hey, Carly. Everything okay?

There's been a robbery and kidnapping.

About three hours ago in Farrier's
Jewellers, two men entered the shop and

assaulted Mr Farrier and his wife.

God, they're about 80 -odd years old,
aren't they? I thought who was

Their assistant, Lenny Tyler.

Mr Farrier was beaten badly as he tried
to stop them. They fled through the back

of the shop with a substantial amount of
jewellery.

I thought the hotel was closed right
now. It is.

Sorry, Cora, I've had a bit of an
accident.

OK, sure.

Joe Ellis, this is...

I heard what happened. That's awful.

I've just come from Rye. What did they
look like?

They were wearing masks.

Yeah, of course.

Only ours, because we were almost run
off the road as we left the town. I just

thought it was kids joyriding.

Cora, I'm sorry. I think I might have
damaged your table.

OK, sorry, Carly.

Mr Ellis?

Where's the damage?

There and the carpet.

Do you have any salt?

Yes, I'll get the sauce.

Mr Ellis, can you describe the car that
passed you?

Where's Drayton?

At Silver Passat.

You didn't happen to catch a look at the
drivers, did you?

No, not really. I mean, I could tell you
there were two men, but I couldn't tell

you their ages or anything.

How do you know they were male?

I don't know, you can just tell, can't
you?

And their licence plates?

No, sorry.

And your friend?

Friend?

Drayton? Cora, is that right?

Yeah. He was here a minute ago. He just
went out to the car.

He, well, we, got wine all over us, so
he went out to the car to get a change

clothes.

What was your business here in Rye?

Relaxation. We've been telling the
ladies our woes. We came down for a

break. We charged the vouchers, you know
what I mean?

And how is it you ended up here?

We had an incident on the roads.

Drayton is an epileptic.

Oh, really?

He had a fit.

Just after the car passed us, actually.
In fact, that might have triggered it.

Shot can cause a seizure.

So he had a seizure and you came here?

Yeah. It was the nearest place. These
ladies were lovely and looked after us.

I didn't see your car as I drove up.

It's round the back in the barn.

And your friend, he's out at the car?

Yeah, he'll be back in a minute.

Shall we go and meet him? I'd like to
talk to him.

He's getting changed.

Not in the car park, surely?

Well, you never know with him. He's not
shy.

Let's go see.

Find the salt.

Oh, here he is. Cheers, pal.

It couldn't be helped.

I'm being fucked.

Joe, shut up. It doesn't matter. It's
fine.

Fine? How is it fine, you feckless cunt?
You killed a copper, a female copper.

How is it fine? She didn't arrest us,
right?

That's good.

These two know her, so that's good too.
We just need to get rid of her and the

car and get these two debauchers coming
and going.

Don't you touch her. You two robbed the
jewellers.

It's not what you think. It wasn't a
robbery.

Touch me.

You know they'll be able to track your
vehicle and drones and shit.

We're in Rye, mate. If they've got a
donkey with a viewmaster on its head,

be very surprised.

Do you remember those?

Those little cardboard circles and you'd
hold them up to the light and you'd see

Rome and castles and stuff.

Yeah, I remember.

Who gives a fuck, you insane twat? We
can't hide this.

I'm not insane.

Don't call me that.

What are we going to do?

Do you think they're going to keep their
mouths shut and I'm not killing them? I

do not kill people.

Fuck you, Lydia. I knew I should have
done this alone.

Fuck!

Fuck off.

It's your fault we're in this shit,
remember?

Actually, no. How is it my fault?

Because my recollection is that you got
us into it when you dropped us in the

ship with the Stringer brothers.

Oh, yeah. The same brothers that you,
Billy Big Bollocks, jumped into bed with

to get that loan.

Loans we were paying back.

I wasn't the fuckhead who gave our last
repayment to a friend who had a history

of gambling problems.

He needed it. Say away!

How am I supposed to know? You don't
tell me anything.

Because you're shit with money. Oh,
yeah. You got all the brains because you

to go to school.

You got to go to school too. You just
couldn't stop getting expelled for

on the desk and beating people after
death.

For giving you shit.

I know you've always had my back, but
you have always gone too far.

Look, you two, you seemed cool ten
minutes ago.

And now I've done a thing.

It's upset you. I get it. But can't we
just build a bridge and get over it?

Sort this shit out.

The thing?

You plugged him into our friend to death
before our eyes.

She didn't even do anything. And you
killed her.

You're a fucking coward!

I'm not a coward.

You look at that woman over there and
then tell me that!

I'm not a coward.

I know that. You ask him. You ask him
how many times I've stood up for him.

not a coward.

Mate.

Mate, we need to get rid of that body.

You think this prick is dead?

He better not be.

Help me.

Shut up.

Oh, wait.

Who's she?

A policewoman?

Oh, God!

There's only room for one.

We need to get changed.

I can't get away with this.

They'll send someone as soon as their
officer doesn't report in.

And we have a dozen guests coming
tonight.

What are you going to do?

Kill them as well?

Scott, we've got to get out of here.
We've got to risk it. No, no, no, no. We

need to stay.

We're not going to get any more trouble,
are we? Stay here until it's safe.

Do what?

Enjoying the wine tasting?

You're not invited.

Okay, well, you go and have a shower,
and not one of those ones you have at

where you just jump in and out. You
always still stink after those.

Oh, cheers.

No, proper. Clean ball sack and braces.

Behind your ears, under your
fingernails.

And you're just going to stay here?

Yeah.

Yeah, we can't leave them to their own
devices, can we?

It's fine.

I've got it. I'm over it.

Right.

Who fancies a drink?

No, thank you.

Sure?

See yourself.

But I hear the wine here is excellent.

I can't drink it myself. I've got an
acid reflux thing. But I do like a beer.

You don't have any taps?

No, just bottles.

Oh, rip -off. What a waste paying more
for less. Stupid.

Cheers.

Ooh la la.

So.

What food are you having at this tasting
then?

What?

Food. What are you having?

You are having food, right?

And it's here.

It's here.

And what is it?

Venison carpaccio.

Smoked. Salmon.

Oh,

God, no.

You all got any chips?

No. You've got to have chips.

Everyone likes all this fancy shit, you
know, and you don't want people drinking

on an empty stomach, do you?

The food was chosen to complement the
wines and the guests were told about it

beforehand.

So no surprises, then?

Other than it not happening, no.

Not yet?

So you don't plan on murdering us, then?

Hmm.

No.

Not on my agenda.

Just our business, then?

Oh, have it next week, will you?

Do you think any of this was cheap?

The food, the organisation.

We've put our livelihoods on the line
for this. This succeeds or we die.

Even if... the wine, some of which we
have already opened to let breathe, and

the food lasts another week. Do you
think anyone would want to come to a

scene?

So, have it outside, if the weather's
nice.

There he is.

Clean as a whistler.

I think so.

No, not you. You're the carpet.

Look.

The salt is shit, but this stuff is
amazing.

Benefits of working in a wine place, eh?
Loads of red spillages.

Right, my turn.

Ah, just so you know, no beer on tap.

Just bottles.

Ah, and you might want to talk about the
whole wine tasting.

I mean, it's a bit of a sore point, but
it does need dealing with. Come here.

Are you really going to let us go?

Yeah.

Just got to work out a way to get out of
this.

Can we go outside?

Did you know he was insane before that?

He's not insane.

I think he is. He's not.

OK. He's got problems, issues, but it's
not insanity.

You don't know the life he's had.

He's your brother, isn't he?

I can tell.

The way you act, the way you speak.

We're not brothers, brothers.

Foster brothers.

He's not bad. I know it sounds
ridiculous, but he's not.

He's stood by me through all the shit
that's gone on in my life, and there has

been a lot.

He just loses control sometimes.

You need to stop him.

He's got it out of his system now.

He didn't have a peanut stuck in his
throat. He had a fully -fledged

episode, and I want to avoid another
one. Well, sit tight and don't

him again.

We'll be gone as soon as we can.

We need to let people know that the
tasting isn't happening anymore.

I know.

And the police, they'll come looking for
their officer.

I know.

We'll help you.

What?

We'll help you divert the police.

We'll help you escape tomorrow. I assume
that's the plan.

Wait till the morning when the police
aren't looking around here anymore.

What, and you're just going to do this
out of the kindness of your heart?

No. I, we, want to survive the night.

You said keep him happy.

This will do that, right?

Yeah.

We just want something in return.

We do?

Yes, we need our wine tasting to go
ahead tonight, as planned, and we want

of your haul from the jewellers.

You're kidding, right?

Cora, we can't. We can.

They need us.

The police will check on their officer,
they'll know this was her last stop, and

they'll come knocking, and this time it
won't just be one.

And we need them. We need tonight to
happen, otherwise we're gone, finished.

our hard work, all our money, gone. It
might take us years to recover, if ever.

So if you want the easy road out, you
need to give us something.

Or you can just kill her.

You're the insane one.

Maybe.

But have you got a better way out?

Let's put aside the jewels and the cops
for one minute. You want us to let you

have a full -on wine tasting?

With fit earrings.

And you think Drain will be able to hold
his shit together through all that?

No, you won't be here. You can be up in
the hotel.

What, so you could get drunk and shop us
over the fish course?

Take whatever precautions you need to.

We won't shop you, particularly if you
cut us in.

We need this to go well.

Twelve people.

Just sat here, eating and drinking,
while we just watched telling.

We wouldn't need them all. Just six.

No. Not six.

Yes.

Elizabeth Maynard, Philip Crosby.

Mandy York, Brandon Fogarty, Joanne
Flynn and Eva Lanigan.

No. If we're picking, we don't need
Phil.

He's good for a couple of grand at best
and we'd have to work for it.

He likes a cuddle, if you know what I
mean.

OK. Not Phil.

Six is too many, if we were to consider
this insanity.

Five and 30%. One and 10%.

One would look weird.

One.

Four and 25%. One and 12%. That is no
good to us.

25 % is no good to us. We need to get
this shit back to London. It needs to be

decent amount.

Two and 15%. What's his company, Forza
Trade?

Okay, two.

And 15%. And 15%.

Okay, which two?

Well, definitely Brandon. He's desperate
to get into waiting.

Who else?

Elizabeth Maynard.

I was thinking Eva Lennigan.

Yeah, I love Eva.

She's on the council.

She was a very successful barrister back
in the day. She retired here to be an

artist. Unfortunately, both the legal
and art worlds love a drink. Yeah, but

Elizabeth Maynard, she's got the best
palate and the best stories. She's a

novelist. I've read all her books. Just
pick one, for Christ's sake!

OK, Eva.

Really? Yeah, she's got the best
contact, law, art, London.

Big money, big drinkers.

OK, Eva.

Okay. We'll keep the 15 % between us,
all right?

Why? Well, Dwayne doesn't exactly have a
head for business, and I don't have it

in me to explain it to him now.

Okay.

What are you going to do with Lenny?

Who? The guy in your boot.

Oh, yeah, Lenny.

Do you know him?

Nah. Why did you kidnap him?

What? Well, if you don't know who he is,
how do you know he's worth kidnapping?

He's for the Whoever Brothers in London
journey, right?

He's the debt we had to pay off.

Go to Rye, grab some prick, bring him
back.

We weren't told who he was or what he'd
done, just the name and the location.

It was meant to look like a robbery, him
being our insurance.

But the prick did a runner and we had to
chase him. So, do you think he's in

debt like you are?

No. He's been skimming off the top.

I thought you didn't know.

I didn't, not at first.

The little shit couldn't stop screaming
and apologising once we'd got him.

Turned out he was laundering money
through the old folks' diamond business.

Don't ask me how it works.

But he'd been fiddling the books in
order to buy a house. That's what he

anyway. Seems foolish.

So you're taking him back to London to
be punished?

Probably.

I mean, the brothers had a good thing
going here, so probably just get a

bit of a kicking and put back into play.

I doubt that.

Why?

Well, if these brothers are
professional, they'll know that Lenny

looked into.

So putting him back into the scene of
the crime to commit more crime would be

silly.

So he's probably going to be killed.

Like I said, I don't know anything about
it.

Not hard to figure out, though, was it?
For fuck's sake, what do you want me to

do, let him go?

You could.

What, and getting more debt with people
that, by your own logic, are willing to

kill a low -life wanker for being in
debt?

Hard -taking high ground.

Yeah. So we'll skip it, thanks.

Low road all the way home.

Do you think you're going to get away
with it?

You've killed one person, you're taking
another person to his death. Probably,

not definitely, and I didn't kill
anybody.

But... You wouldn't want Drayton to take
the blame on his own, would you? Would

you two shut the fuck up!

I agreed to your plan not to be in the
subject of some sort of psychological

roast.

I know I fucked up, but here we are.

All I wanted was a little bit of money
to keep my business going, but you can't

get a loan nowadays, can you?

Not with somebody like Drayton around.

Thinks that credit is something you get
from an arcade machine.

So I had to go alternative routes.

And I fucked up.

My fault.

My fault for trusting a mental.

My fault for having some ambition.

Do you think he's okay in the booth?

Well, it's hot days, all I'm saying.

All right.

Stand where I can see you.

All right in there.

Hello?

Hello? Lenny.

Lenny. Yes?

I have a glass of water for you.

You will accept it gratefully. You will
not do anything stupid.

You got that?

Yes, thank you.

Sorry. Come on.

Talk to me.

We can work this out.

Tell the brothers it was just a loan,
right?

A loan.

All the white people with the intention
of paying it back.

Come on, don't do this. I'll cut my nuts
off or something. You know they will.

How should I know? It's none of our
business.

No, no, no, no, no. Please, put me back
in there, please.

She's dead. Put me in the back seat.

She's dead. She's all slippery.

I'm claustrophobic.

What? He doesn't like enclosed spaces.

You're not meant to, you twat.

Stop playing with that. It's freaking me
out. I'm fine.

It's not fine. It's freaking me out. You
did that, you fucker, and you want us

to put you in a back seat?

Leave it. I don't like it. I'm just
trying to see if I need stitches.

Take them back in.

We need him alive.

I know.

Get in.

Please.

Can't be in a cupboard.

Or a chair.

Oh, tag me. Tag me to a chair.

I'm reasonable. I know why I'm here.

We've had this chat. No, we haven't.
Yes, we have. And we were chasing you

the back of the jewellers. You were
screaming, sorry, sorry, sorry. I'll pay

back with interest.

I'm so sorry. I was saving up money for
a new house.

I just wanted my own place.

I don't care. Get in.

Come on.

Not in with the dead bird.

What did she do anyway?

Are you on multiple jobs?

No. A lot of people are these days.

She was an accident.

Don't talk about her. Get in.

What are they going to do to me when you
take me back? How the fuck should I

know? In.

You're a hit man.

I work for a fruit packing plant.

Good cover.

It's not a cover. It's a shitty job. The
jobs people made me do. I'm not a hit

man.

So she really was an accident?

Yeah. Sort of.

So why did they send you?

What? You. Why did they send you?

Because.

You're in debt too.

I don't like you.

You ask a lot of questions.

And I don't like questions.

Joe asks questions, but he's allowed.

You're not free.

I wish I was at home watching TV.

I wish you were dead.

I want to make that happen. But I can't.
Because they don't want you dead.

And Joe doesn't want you dead.

And I don't want to get in trouble
again.

So I can't make you dead.

But I can make you quiet.

And that is your choice. Whether that is
me cutting out your tongue with these

scissors I found in the bathroom.

Or you.

Just stop talking.

I'll stop talking.

Stop talking!

What are you doing? We should not be
doing that. The thing is not happening.

Calm down.

I've got a plan.

You? We had a plan. We don't need
another plan.

The other plan was flawed and it wasn't
really a plan. Yes, it was. We wait till

tomorrow, then we leave.

Not really a plan.

Yes, it is.

Well, this plan is better.

How? How better?

Well, maybe not better, but more
comprehensive.

I've struck a deal.

With who?

Joanie and Cora, who else?

A deal.

What deal?

You get a cheap case of wine if you
don't kill them?

We help you with your situation if you
help us with ours.

This evening is important to us. So have
it outside, like I said.

Please listen to her.

You're not a criminal, are you?

No, never said I was.

Right.

So you wouldn't want to be unfair about
things, would you?

No. Not if I can help it.

Right.

So we've come up with a plan that is
fair. Fair for all of us. Fair for you.

Fair for us.

We helped you when you weren't well.

Thank you.

So we need you to help us now.

This is important.

Special. It needs to happen.

And with a few tweets to the event, we
can do that.

And then in return, we'll phone the
police so they don't come looking for

And then you can take our cars in the
morning so you can head back to London

undetected.

And what, we let you have a load of
people over for dinner in return?

Not a load.

Two. Two people.

I don't know, mate. Sounds a bit mad to
me.

None of this is normal, mate. But here
we are.

They're offering us a solution.

It's not ideal, but it's the best that
we can do.

And what are we doing while they're
having all the fun in here? Sitting in a

room being quiet?

Well, that's not fair, is it?

Come on, we can amuse ourselves.

Oh, we've got all the channels.

Superhero movie?

Yeah.

OK.

How long is this do meant to last?

About three hours.

All right.

And we can have some beers in the room?

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

Great. Call the police.

And say what?

How the fuck should I know? You're the
one who volunteered.

What?

I'll do it.

I know what to do. Surgeon.

We'll do yoga together.

Oh, hi, Barry.

It's Joanie.

Yeah.

Oh, fine, thanks. You?

How are the kids?

Ten? No. When did that happen?

Well, I never met the right guy, Barry.

What are you saying?

What a different world this could have
been.

No, I was joking, Barry.

Well, I was calling about that robbery
that happened in Rye earlier today.

No, I don't have any information, sorry.

But Carly, Constable Wainwright, she
came by earlier asking if we'd seen

anything.

No, we hadn't, sorry.

Oh, but she left her radio and I was
wondering if she might need it.

Oh, I can't worry.

We're having our tasting tonight.

Yay, she comes on, you tough it.

Yes, we have beer.

Just not on tap.

So, would it be okay if I came by in the
morning to drop off that radio?

I'm coming into town anyway.

Great.

Oh, well, I must apologise for the way I
might look in the morning. These wine

tastings are great fun, but the
hangovers are... Oh, thank you,

Barry.

Yes. I'll see you in the morning.

Wow. She's good.

You're good. Okay, that's done.

He believed you. He won't come looking.

Oh, well, all I know is that Barry will
be waiting for me to hand in the radio

in the morning.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Where do you think you're going?

To the toilet.

Just let her go, mate.

Go with her.

I'm really sorry.

Don't, don't.

Don't.

So, what's your favourite wine?

Don't say red.

Favorite ever.

I don't drink wine. I have drunk wine,
but I don't anymore.

Acid.

But I do have a favorite.

Right.

And it's red.

Not just any red, obviously.

I don't remember what kind it was. I
just remember the taste.

You go on holiday much?

Sometimes.

I don't.

Never left the country till I was 13.

France for school.

Somalia. Shipped myself on the ferry.

Don't like water.

Can't see the bottom.

Wine was everywhere when we got there.

People were drinking it or chucking it
in the back of their cars.

Anyway. Hey, let's go off for a wander.

and most of them just wanted to go to
the beach or to the shops, but I saw

castle. It wasn't very big, but I'd
never seen a proper castle before, so I

wanted to go there.

Joe thought he was in with these two
girls.

Fucking big dick.

So we followed them to the beach.

Stuck up there. They did not want us
there. He's such a player.

I got bored.

Hate sand.

So I wandered off.

On my way off to the beach, I nicked a
bottle of wine that was poking out of

someone's bag and went to this castle.

It wasn't like the ones you see in
school books. It was more like the ones

see in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, you
know?

Pointy top.

I do not know how long I stood there,
but I drank the whole bottle of wine.

Made me gag at first.

But the more I drank, the easier it went
down.

It was like beef crisps, but better.

And someone grabbed me, got in my face,
so I punched them.

Turns out it was a teacher.

They were looking for me because it got
dark.

Got sent home on the early ferry.

Suspended for a bit after that.

They didn't kick up too much of a fuss,
though. My mum said they were negligent

of their duties, letting a 13 -year -old
go off and find booze.

Overreaction, if you ask me.

Joe told me, on the way home, he saw
some girl sacking off some kid on the

deck of the ferry.

Did they get suspended?

Of course not.

Well, Joe, is it OK?

You OK?

We should make these calls.

You do five, I'll do five?

Yeah.

Hi, Ben.

It's Cora from Goldberg.

I'm afraid we're going to have to cancel
this evening.

I know, we're so disappointed, but it
can't be helped.

We had a power cut.

The freezer and two bridges went last
night.

Yeah, it's ruined, and it's such a
shame.

Joanie worked so hard on it all.

I've got these amazing friends from Mr
Hollister.

Straight off the boat.

I could have eaten it all then and
there.

Beautiful, and the marinade.

I can't believe how good it tastes.

Full ruin.

Ruins. We'll do another one soon, Az.

No, no, no.

No need to read it.

No, no need to read it.

Thanks, Mike.

We'll have to meet in the mermaid soon
for the glass.

Okay, Terry.

Have a good one.

Right. Now for the two that are coming.

Do you think they'll keep it to
themselves that it's gone ahead?

It's not gone ahead.

We'll just tell them what we've told
everybody else. It's off.

But there's enough food left for two if
they fancy it, as special guests.

As long as they don't tell anyone.

Yes. Nice.

So tell them they're your besties, which
is why it's just them, but we are going

to need a bad smell if the food's gone
off.

Authenticity, very important.

Why would they invite anybody over if
there's a smell of rotting shellfish?

All right, yeah, good point. So, scrap
the smell and we've all cleaned up.

Everyone got that? Good.

Right, you take Eva, I'll do Brandon.

Oh, yeah.

Really, Jamie?

Sorry.

I'll phone Eva.

Did you hear that?

Have you tried some of these whiskies,
mate?

I don't like whisky.

Just beer.

OK. Two. The bottles rip off. Wait till
you see the price of the brandy.

Cora, we can't do this.

This is mad. I don't know if we're
collaborating with these people.

No, no, no. True black.

We're completely...

What choice have we got?

Do you want to throw away everything
we've worked for?

You don't think you'll take this whole
place down looking for us?

Goldsboro Vineyard and Hotel.

Oh, hi, Brendan.

I was literally just about to call you.

Wow.

That's quick.

Yeah, it's like a literal grapevine.

He's made a joke about hearing it
through the grapevine being on a

know. Well, yeah, you heard right.

But we managed to salvage enough for a
small soiree.

Yeah, enough for two people.

Oh, yes, and Joanie.

And one other.

It can be a surprise, can't it?

No, no, no.

It won't be Terry, no.

You have a problem with Terry?

Can we put you down for tonight?

Yeah, 8pm.

Great. See you later.

Bye -bye now.

The fiend's word has got out.

It's my turn.

Oh, hi, Eva. It's Joni.

What have you heard?

Yes, it's like an actual grapevine.

Keep listening for stuff.

Different sounds, like... Do you think
they're in London too? We just don't

them over the cars and the sirens.

Some, no doubt.

Do you think they'll let us keep any of
the jewellery when we get back?

No.

Shame. Why?

Just wanted to buy some stuff.

Like what?

A castle.

A castle?

How many jewels do you think we nicked?

Just a small one.

Somewhere cheap.

Go on then.

Why a castle?

I like them.

How do you get a castle now?

Who even owns a castle? It's not like
you get night films.

Barrens like you used to, is it?

Not in the same way, no.

Used to be you'd get a castle by
building one or storming one and nicking

whoever was there.

Probably easier than dealing with
developers and estate agents nowadays.

And they're always on hills, aren't
they?

Usually.

It's hard to get in.

For the enemy, I mean.

It's the downside.

It's always an uphill walk back from the
pub.

You can have your own pub on the inside,
I suppose.

Nah, nah, nah, nah. I just want it
quiet.

Just me on my hill.

I'd hand you if you visited.

Cheers.

You think we'll ever have any money?

Mate, I'm trying.

I know, I keep fucking it up.

It was already fucked, mate.

I'm shit at business.

You should get away.

Not a castle, since we've got no money,
but just away.

Somewhere quiet.

Maybe Cornwall.

I've never been.

No, not me.

I've seen it on the telly loads, though.

They've got loads of pubs.

Loads of castles.

Loads of space.

Sounds nice.

Right.

It's the girls.

No, they're inside, mate.

Oh.

I thought... I know.

Mate, we've come this far.

Can't have got to trust them if this is
going to work.

Yeah. They're nice.

Uh, hi.

We need to get ready.

And Brandon has cancelled.

He's going to the theatre in London.

So, a lot of pressure on this Eva
tonight, then?

It looks fantastic.

So do you.

Listen, Eva will be here in about 20
minutes, so you two need to get settled

your room with your beers, and we'll
take it from here.

Alice, could you give me a hand with
something, please?

Come and choose your food, Scott.

Do you like broccoli?

No. Okay, well, we've other stuff, too.

What am I doing?

Brandon hasn't cancelled because of
theatre tickets.

The police have formed roadblocks out of
rye.

Apparently, there's been no sightings of
your car, so they assume you're still

in the area.

Shit. This doesn't change a thing.

They don't know you're here and your car
is hidden.

Eva can still get here because she lives
closer.

If they resume searching in the morning,
it may be wiser to head out while it's

still dark.

Don't tell Drayton.

They'll only put him on edge.

Why do you think we're out here?

Oh, shit. She's early.

I forgot your whiskey.

Doesn't matter. Come on, she's there.

Come on!

All right, all right.

Quickly!

Bloody hell, mate.

What are you playing at, you big
bastard? You know you can throw the

Have some respect.

Cheers.

Good evening, Cora.

Is it valet parking?

Oh, sorry, no. I'm joking. I just didn't
expect to be welcome to my car, that's

all. How are you?

You look a little flustered.

Then I suppose you would be, given the
circumstances.

It's been a tad hectic this afternoon.

Bloody electricity.

Bring back windmills and water wheels, I
say.

We're living in the 1800s out here
anyway, aren't we?

Shall we go in, or are we having the
tasting on the driveway here?

Sorry, no, of course.

Come in.

Good evening, Eva. Welcome.

Wonderful. Straight to the booze.

Oh, this is just the beginning.

It's a bit pared down, of course.

These are our welcome bubbles.

Homegrown, as you know.

Oh, and then we have our aperitifs, food
and wine pairings in the restaurant

upstairs, finishing off with the cheese
and wine course in the winery.

Don't let me stop you, Joanie.

Pour away.

Make me welcome.

Thank you. Cheers.

Oh, bugger, I forgot the canopies.

Come on up, Eva.

So, how have you been?

I saw your painting on the wall at the
cafe at the CLF. Yes, and there it'll

probably stay, no doubt.

I think it's really good.

But is it good enough?

Oh, I don't really care. It's just a
hobby.

If I do manage to sell any of my
paintings, I'd probably give the money

local theatre company or something.

It's just one big vanity project.

I just want to be loved.

You are, Eva.

I'm joking. I couldn't give a shit.

But I do like theatre, and their
costumes are starting to look like

street urchin rags.

Which is fine if you're doing Oliver.

Again. But their Glen Gary Glenroth
looked like the local tramps were

well -worded sit -in.

So am I on my own tonight?

Oh, I'm afraid so.

Brandon was due to come, but he had to
cancel. Oh, good.

Dreadful man.

Far too much hair.

He's like a chinchilla without the
charm.

So it really is just me tonight, then.
Aren't I the lucky one?

Wonderful. Yes, well, you were top of
our list.

And when we realised we had enough food
salvaged for a smaller affair, we, of

course, called you.

Never use the word salvage when talking
about food.

Mmm, talking of which, that is gorgeous.

Roasted prosciutto on a creme fraiche
bellini with a sprig of basil.

Mmm.

Bloody good start, ladies.

Cheers.

Jesus Christ.

That is beautiful.

Is that from the new batch?

Yes.

It's what we want to concentrate on in
the future. High quality, low yield.

You know, really allowing the process to
develop the wine organically.

Like they did in the beginning.

Every fucking time he calls me that.

He's a prick.

Honestly. Honestly, brother.

He's not even your real brother.

God of mischief?

More like God of being a bloody bell
-in.

He deserves a knife in the gut.

Is it profitable?

I mean, low yield, long process.

Sounds like short profits to me. Well,
the price will reflect the effort.

We will obviously continue selling a
selection of wines, but we intend to

out some lines to make way for this one.

Cora, I need to jog on to the winery to
finish off the settings.

I'll see you down there. Okay, bye.

So go on, you were telling me about how
you're not going to run your business

into the ground.

Well, we strongly believe there's a
client base out there willing to indulge

a more sophisticated wine and are happy
to pay for the privilege.

All right, mate. It's an opinion.

Can you read that opinion? You don't
want to turn into wankers, do you? I

I like a nice expensive wine as much as
the next pretentious, arrogant, middle

-class person, but wine is the nectar of
the many, not the few.

What was in my head? It's the fucking
heart!

I'll try not to sound pretentious here,
but we like to think of ourselves as

artists.

You failed on the pretentious scale, but
never mind, go on.

Picasso could knock out a portrait
whenever he liked, but he's a genius

of his cubism work.

You know, we can do the normal stuff,
but we want to make our mark by being

of the ordinary.

My dear.

You will know when you front one of us.

And you won't just be saying, I like
this keynote.

You'll talk about it as if it's a good
friend.

Well, I like to make new friends.

I'm getting raspberries in a suede shoe.

You're alchemy.

No, that's not really me.

Look, I've got diamonds.

Wait, I can get more.

I can move immediately.

I've got a picture to make. Be quiet!

That noise, like a scream.

Oh, it's most likely foxes.

They make a terrible racket.

That was not a fox.

A deer?

Well, the badgers are out. They make a
nasty nip if something gets in their

Don't be ridiculous. I heard it before
and I thought it was the wind.

It's a person.

Do you have any field workers on site?

No, we gave them the weekend off.

Well, maybe it's kids.

Trespassing little idiots.

We had a gang of them fall down a mine
up on the cliffs the other week.

One of them broke his leg.

Down a mine.

We really should tell the police. No,
no, no, that's not necessary.

But if they're damaging your vines,
Cora, you need it to stop.

Maybe they're foolish.

Where are you going? I'm going to find
out what's happening.

If I'm investing in this place, I want
to make sure it's all working properly.

You're investing?

She's investing.

Not if you're allowing young larrikins
to come and have sordid sex raves on

grave. Oh, we've never had any sex
raves. Not to my knowledge, anyway.

Goodness gracious.

What on earth have you been up to?

Is he a friend of yours?

Yeah. No.

No, he isn't.

We barely know him.

I'm sorry, Eva. I think we better deal
with this ourselves. You should go home.

No one's going home.

I can't go home.

Elliot can't go home.

You did this.

You and your fucking deal. You did...
Shut up!

My head hurts. I can't think.

I need quiet.

I didn't do anything.

It's you.

All you.

And if it's right, you're fucking
everything up.

You can't be trusted. Shut up.

He didn't say that.

Where is it?

Where is it?

It was excellent.

Another one?

Sorry, isn't Carly? That was not my
fault.

He did not say that. I did not.

Okay, I did wrong. I know.

It's my fault we're here.

But you're lying.

Shut up!

What are

you

doing here?

It only takes one of us to go to the
police, so I thought I'd keep Joanie

company. The police?

She's gone.

You've got to help me.

I'm not going to hurt you.

I can't be far now.

With all the roadblocks up and
everything looking for you.

I take it you are the robber from this
afternoon.

It was not a robbery.

I'm sure the police will take that into
consideration.

He tried to kill me.

He's got them.

I can't do this.

He said you were dead.

Where is he?

He's got them both.

I've got to get help.

If the police come, I'll kill us all.

Oscar, I will. I might kill myself.

I mean, what's the fucking point in
being here?

Please don't let me stop you.

You are a horrible person.

Not really. I just appreciate an easy
solution.

Where's your partner?

Dead?

It's that fucking bitch's fault. Her and
her fucking wine night. Now look!

Oh, it clearly hasn't gone to plan.

And I was having such a lovely time.
What a shame.

You and your partner could have come and
joined us.

Could have saved us on some of the
shenanigans. But then, it is quite

isn't it, maintaining a relationship in
crime?

He's not my partner.

He's my brother.

Even more problematic.

What are you even going on about? Shut
up!

Many say that the secret to successful
crime is loyalty, but I've found, in my

experience, of which I have fallen a
little, that loyalty has led me to

more people in jail than probably
deserved it.

Brothers won't testify against brothers,
wives against husbands.

And so, in so many cases, I have no
choice but to send them all away.

It's the ones who turn on their cohorts
that do the best.

Plea deals.

Shorter sentences.

No sentences.

I am not going to jail.

I can help you with that.

I don't want your help.

I don't want anybody's help.

This situation you've got yourself into
is out of control. There's no way out.

It's only going to get worse.

Or you can do as I say and disappear.

Disappear?

Mm -hmm.

No jail, no murder.

How? Well, I take it these two are
already collaborating with you, yes?

Yeah, they did a sneaky fucking deal to
save their place.

What lengths they go to, eh?

Well, whether they were coerced or not,
Joanie and Cora are implicated. And it

remains in their interest to be silent.

What about you?

Well, me. I'm the fly in the ointment.

A situation I found myself in on
numerous occasions.

I was never here.

The first time you will see me will be
at the police station should you be

captured.

What? I've got no idea what you're going
on about!

I am your legal counsel. You acquired my
services, therefore my silence.

But for this to be invoked, a small
transaction is required.

Can you do that? Just a pound will do.

Wait, and then you can't say what
happened here?

Exactly.

We've got loads of cash in the car.

Perfect, come on.

You ever mean to call me? Many times.

The car's okay.

Yes, look.

You're alive.

I didn't win.

I know, mate.

I know.

Can we go now?

Yeah.

To Cornwall.

To the castle.

Welcome me.

I want to say goodbye.

He wasn't evil.

I know.

I should have helped.

I didn't notice.

Not until... I know.

Did she invest?

Yes.

Good. I'm glad.

And Lenny?

Lenny?

He disappeared.

Oh, he was dead. I saw it.

I didn't say it in my destiny, but... He
was nowhere to be seen.

And diamonds?

He must have made a run for it.

All right.

Let's go.

Goodbye, mate.

Hope it's quiet wherever you are.

Happy? That's not why you went.

You opened it.

It's been the right thing to do.

Time to move on.