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1
00:00:01,045 --> 00:00:04,251
-Previously on Call Me Kat...
-(screaming)
2
00:00:04,318 --> 00:00:06,757
I had no idea
you were coming back.
3
00:00:06,857 --> 00:00:08,159
Obviously you ate well.
4
00:00:08,226 --> 00:00:10,497
This is a juice bar now.
5
00:00:10,598 --> 00:00:11,867
Where are the cats?
6
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,202
I told you she'd notice.
7
00:00:13,303 --> 00:00:16,008
Now I'm at peace.
I just go with the flow.
8
00:00:16,075 --> 00:00:17,745
I even got a tattoo.
It's in Sanskrit.
9
00:00:17,845 --> 00:00:19,214
It says "acceptance."
10
00:00:19,281 --> 00:00:21,587
That says "garden salad."
11
00:00:21,653 --> 00:00:22,421
You sold a song?
12
00:00:22,487 --> 00:00:23,991
Aw, please, it's not
that big a deal.
13
00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:25,393
-Just to Kacey.
-Kacey...
14
00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:27,397
Musgraves.
Just a famous person,
15
00:00:27,497 --> 00:00:29,068
who I know.
16
00:00:29,168 --> 00:00:30,705
I didn't fire Randi.
17
00:00:30,805 --> 00:00:32,240
She left because
I didn't love
18
00:00:32,307 --> 00:00:34,178
every single thing
that she did to my café.
19
00:00:34,278 --> 00:00:35,915
I want you to be my partner.
20
00:00:35,948 --> 00:00:38,486
-Like 50-50?
-Ish.
21
00:00:38,587 --> 00:00:40,891
I've been making my mother
margaritas since I was nine.
22
00:00:40,992 --> 00:00:42,361
(blender whirs)
23
00:00:48,273 --> 00:00:50,377
I don't care for them.
24
00:00:50,443 --> 00:00:53,449
-What?
-Your new glasses.
25
00:00:53,516 --> 00:00:56,122
I assumed you were going to
ask me eventually.
26
00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:59,194
I wasn't...
for this exact reason.
27
00:00:59,261 --> 00:01:01,065
Will you take them off
when we get to the club?
28
00:01:01,132 --> 00:01:02,969
My friends will be there.
29
00:01:03,069 --> 00:01:04,906
Well, if anyone says anything,
30
00:01:04,973 --> 00:01:06,877
you can just pretend
not to know me.
31
00:01:06,977 --> 00:01:08,212
Wouldn't be the first time.
32
00:01:08,313 --> 00:01:11,118
Tell the truth, you're
wearing them to spite me.
33
00:01:11,185 --> 00:01:14,158
No, the truth is
I need them to see.
34
00:01:14,224 --> 00:01:17,064
That it upsets you is
a welcome bonus.
35
00:01:17,130 --> 00:01:18,232
Where'd you get them,
36
00:01:18,366 --> 00:01:21,807
lost and found at the morgue?
37
00:01:23,042 --> 00:01:23,944
Hey!
38
00:01:24,044 --> 00:01:26,382
Oh, relax. It was a joke.
39
00:01:26,449 --> 00:01:30,256
Frankly, it's funnier that
you paid money for them.
40
00:01:30,323 --> 00:01:31,626
You just ran a stop sign.
41
00:01:31,693 --> 00:01:33,998
Did you not see
the big, red octagon?
42
00:01:34,131 --> 00:01:35,868
Don't be such a square.
43
00:01:36,636 --> 00:01:39,541
Geometry?
I thought you'd appreciate it,
44
00:01:39,642 --> 00:01:42,915
given you were the only member
of your high school math club.
45
00:01:42,982 --> 00:01:44,953
Hey, one is still a number.
46
00:01:45,020 --> 00:01:46,690
The loneliest.
47
00:01:46,790 --> 00:01:47,659
(siren chirps)
48
00:01:47,759 --> 00:01:50,865
Oh, great.
Now we're getting pulled over.
49
00:01:50,965 --> 00:01:52,434
I get it, Katharine,
you can see
50
00:01:52,534 --> 00:01:54,739
through your hideous glasses.
51
00:01:56,175 --> 00:01:57,144
What are you doing?
52
00:01:57,244 --> 00:01:59,816
Getting out of this ticket.
53
00:01:59,916 --> 00:02:02,689
Seriously, you're gonna flirt
with a motorcycle cop?
54
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:07,632
Well, I'll start with flirting,
see where it goes.
55
00:02:08,433 --> 00:02:10,470
Okay, I'm gonna record this
because this is exactly
56
00:02:10,537 --> 00:02:13,142
the kind of thing that
my therapist does not believe.
57
00:02:13,209 --> 00:02:15,413
Oh, crap, it's a woman.
58
00:02:15,513 --> 00:02:17,852
-Katharine, unbutton your shirt.
-What?
59
00:02:17,952 --> 00:02:19,121
Maybe she's gay.
60
00:02:19,188 --> 00:02:21,025
I'm not gay.
61
00:02:21,092 --> 00:02:22,361
All right.
62
00:02:22,427 --> 00:02:24,966
Do you hear that, Dr. Bell?
63
00:02:25,033 --> 00:02:27,237
Do you hear that?!
64
00:02:28,473 --> 00:02:30,477
♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪
65
00:02:30,578 --> 00:02:32,615
♪ Nothing wrong with you
but I'd rather be me. ♪
66
00:02:33,516 --> 00:02:35,420
You're making a fuss
over nothing.
67
00:02:35,554 --> 00:02:38,761
You just got a ticket,
your license is expired,
68
00:02:38,827 --> 00:02:42,401
and you told that officer
I'm an adventurous lover.
69
00:02:43,236 --> 00:02:44,706
Why didn't you just
get it renewed?
70
00:02:44,739 --> 00:02:46,676
I didn't want them
to change my photo.
71
00:02:46,743 --> 00:02:49,716
That was a hair day
for the ages.
72
00:02:49,816 --> 00:02:51,485
Well, now, you're gonna have to
go to the DMV
73
00:02:51,553 --> 00:02:53,089
and take the driving test again.
74
00:02:53,189 --> 00:02:54,458
Can't you take it for me?
75
00:02:54,491 --> 00:02:56,763
We look about the same age.
76
00:02:56,830 --> 00:02:58,499
No.
77
00:02:58,567 --> 00:03:01,439
Although I do love me
some standardized tests.
78
00:03:01,539 --> 00:03:04,378
I used to give them
to myself in math club.
79
00:03:04,445 --> 00:03:06,515
I don't have time to go
to the DMV.
80
00:03:06,583 --> 00:03:09,488
Tomorrow's my nail appointment,
Thursday's my chemical peel.
81
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:11,192
Wait, you know you can't
drive anywhere
82
00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:12,494
until you get this done, right?
83
00:03:12,628 --> 00:03:15,100
What is with you war
on beauty, Katharine?
84
00:03:16,135 --> 00:03:20,878
Don't you have any cool friends
I can buy a license from?
85
00:03:20,978 --> 00:03:21,947
No!
86
00:03:22,013 --> 00:03:24,451
'Cause breaking the law
is never cool,
87
00:03:24,518 --> 00:03:26,188
unless it involves
feeding a meter
88
00:03:26,255 --> 00:03:28,526
so a stranger doesn't get
a parking ticket.
89
00:03:28,627 --> 00:03:31,600
Take that,
Louisville Town Center.
90
00:03:31,666 --> 00:03:33,336
Well, if I can't drive myself,
91
00:03:33,402 --> 00:03:35,073
you'll have to
drive me everywhere.
92
00:03:35,206 --> 00:03:36,509
Not gonna happen.
93
00:03:36,610 --> 00:03:38,714
Why, are you busy
this week?
94
00:03:38,781 --> 00:03:43,557
Look at those glasses.
Of course you're not busy.
95
00:03:44,993 --> 00:03:48,132
I am so glad
I got glasses.
96
00:03:48,199 --> 00:03:49,501
I can finally see,
97
00:03:49,569 --> 00:03:53,744
and I can really emphasize
my point... like this.
98
00:03:53,877 --> 00:03:54,946
(laughs)
99
00:03:54,979 --> 00:03:56,883
Ooh, I love 'em, and I think
you look super sexy.
100
00:03:56,917 --> 00:04:00,457
Well, now that I can see,
I think you look super sexy.
101
00:04:00,523 --> 00:04:03,730
Okay, okay, I like
where this is going.
102
00:04:03,797 --> 00:04:05,968
And you just ruined it.
103
00:04:07,672 --> 00:04:10,477
Hey, y'all,
it's moonshine season.
104
00:04:10,544 --> 00:04:14,318
Who wants a jug
of Mama's skeeter juice?
105
00:04:14,418 --> 00:04:15,855
Isn't that the stuff
your cousin used
106
00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:17,457
to burn his fingerprints off?
107
00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:18,794
One and the same.
108
00:04:18,927 --> 00:04:22,234
It'll also take the roots
out of your sewer line.
109
00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:23,837
Oh, okay, well, sign me up.
110
00:04:23,904 --> 00:04:26,943
-So long, laser hair removal.
-I'll take two.
111
00:04:27,010 --> 00:04:29,281
I just found out my son's
production of Pippin
112
00:04:29,381 --> 00:04:31,485
isn't about Scottie.
113
00:04:31,553 --> 00:04:34,458
Mama is gonna be
so proud of me.
114
00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:36,495
I sold 'em all
and didn't even have to
115
00:04:36,596 --> 00:04:38,934
go to the high school
this year.
116
00:04:40,503 --> 00:04:43,042
I've got amazing news.
117
00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:44,913
You do? Hang on.
118
00:04:45,013 --> 00:04:46,415
I'm listening.
119
00:04:46,482 --> 00:04:49,388
One of my songs is gonna be
in a commercial.
120
00:04:49,454 --> 00:04:52,327
What?! That's amazing.
Which song?
121
00:04:52,394 --> 00:04:53,462
"Say No More."
The one about
122
00:04:53,529 --> 00:04:55,066
maybe meeting my dad someday.
123
00:04:55,166 --> 00:04:56,603
I love that song.
124
00:04:56,636 --> 00:04:58,707
♪ I come home and I wonder ♪
125
00:04:58,774 --> 00:05:01,980
BOTH:
♪ What was the journey for? ♪
126
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:03,584
♪ My dad just sips his whiskey ♪
127
00:05:03,684 --> 00:05:06,857
♪ It's all right, son,
say no more. ♪
128
00:05:06,923 --> 00:05:09,528
I can't wait to get drunk
with my son.
129
00:05:09,596 --> 00:05:11,733
What's the commercial about?
130
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:14,037
No idea. It got bought by
one of those huge companies
131
00:05:14,104 --> 00:05:16,508
that makes everything from beer
to frozen pizza,
132
00:05:16,576 --> 00:05:19,448
but the important thing is
I'm gonna get paid!
133
00:05:19,514 --> 00:05:21,553
Ooh, I hear that.
New espresso machine
134
00:05:21,620 --> 00:05:24,358
coming our way, roomie. Yes!
135
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,295
(phone ringing)
136
00:05:26,362 --> 00:05:27,632
Hello, Mother.
137
00:05:27,732 --> 00:05:28,934
Well, I hope you're happy.
138
00:05:29,001 --> 00:05:31,372
I've taken one of your
ride-share services,
139
00:05:31,472 --> 00:05:33,142
and now I'm being abducted.
140
00:05:33,209 --> 00:05:35,681
Ma'am, I promise you,
I'm not ab...
141
00:05:35,748 --> 00:05:38,787
I checked the box that said
"no conversation."
142
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,993
Mother, no one is gonna
kidnap you.
143
00:05:42,060 --> 00:05:43,462
And if they do,
I assure you
144
00:05:43,529 --> 00:05:46,435
they will pay me
to take you back.
145
00:05:46,468 --> 00:05:48,372
Why are we going
through downtown?
146
00:05:48,406 --> 00:05:50,109
There's an accident on 64.
147
00:05:50,176 --> 00:05:51,880
I'm sure.
148
00:05:51,947 --> 00:05:56,155
Katharine, how do I use
that pepper spray you gave me?
149
00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:57,457
Oh, that's air freshener.
150
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,629
I would never give you
a weapon. Bye!
151
00:05:59,696 --> 00:06:03,336
To Max and his messed up
relationship with his dad.
152
00:06:03,402 --> 00:06:04,872
And to Mama for once again
153
00:06:04,973 --> 00:06:07,110
outsmarting the po-po.
154
00:06:07,210 --> 00:06:09,081
(laughter)
155
00:06:11,018 --> 00:06:11,953
Ugh.
156
00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:13,657
Hoo-wee!
157
00:06:13,724 --> 00:06:16,528
So that's why people
make that noise.
158
00:06:16,596 --> 00:06:18,399
Can you believe
is was distilled
159
00:06:18,466 --> 00:06:21,740
in the same bathtub
I was born in?
160
00:06:26,549 --> 00:06:28,654
Okay, next question.
"Two vehicles arrive
161
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,658
"at a four-way stop
at the same time.
162
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:31,926
Who has the right of way?"
163
00:06:31,993 --> 00:06:34,565
Obviously, the most
expensive car.
164
00:06:34,666 --> 00:06:36,770
This is still America.
165
00:06:37,705 --> 00:06:39,174
The correct answer is
the car to your right.
166
00:06:39,241 --> 00:06:42,213
Unless you're in Detroit.
Don't ever stop in Detroit.
167
00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:43,684
Here's an easy one.
168
00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:48,292
"At what blood alcohol
concentration are you impaired?"
169
00:06:48,392 --> 00:06:49,762
Me personally?
170
00:06:49,829 --> 00:06:52,267
When I start telling people
I love them.
171
00:06:53,002 --> 00:06:55,841
I've never seen you that drunk.
Look, if you're not gonna
172
00:06:55,941 --> 00:06:57,945
take this seriously, there's
no way you're gonna pass.
173
00:06:58,045 --> 00:07:01,586
Oh, who cares? So I'm driving
on an expired license.
174
00:07:01,619 --> 00:07:03,522
What are they gonna do,
throw me in jail?
175
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:05,728
That's exactly what
they're gonna do!
176
00:07:06,528 --> 00:07:07,565
And you know what they
have in jail?
177
00:07:07,631 --> 00:07:09,234
Florescent lighting.
178
00:07:09,334 --> 00:07:10,671
You don't scare me.
179
00:07:10,738 --> 00:07:12,641
I drove here today
and nothing happened.
180
00:07:12,742 --> 00:07:13,577
What?!
181
00:07:13,643 --> 00:07:14,879
That's right.
182
00:07:14,946 --> 00:07:17,551
And I solved the Wordle
at the same time.
183
00:07:17,618 --> 00:07:20,924
You can't drive
with an expired license.
184
00:07:21,025 --> 00:07:23,195
Watch me, four-eyes.
185
00:07:25,901 --> 00:07:29,007
Give me your keys.
186
00:07:29,107 --> 00:07:32,848
If you want my keys,
you'll have to take them.
187
00:07:32,915 --> 00:07:37,490
Dang, that made
my neck tingle.
188
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,696
Yeah, she'll do fine in jail.
189
00:07:39,729 --> 00:07:42,434
I'm serious.
Give me your purse.
190
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:44,639
-Let go.
-You let go.
191
00:07:44,739 --> 00:07:46,609
Don't hurt it, it's Gucci!
192
00:07:46,676 --> 00:07:48,312
Why can't you see
I am doing this
193
00:07:48,379 --> 00:07:50,316
for your own...
194
00:07:50,383 --> 00:07:53,724
good?
195
00:07:54,524 --> 00:07:57,197
Keys weren't even
in my purse.
196
00:08:05,547 --> 00:08:06,783
Dude, in less than two minutes,
197
00:08:06,850 --> 00:08:09,221
your song is gonna be
on national TV.
198
00:08:09,287 --> 00:08:10,591
And then two minutes after that,
199
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:11,860
we're gonna watched
a masked celebrity
200
00:08:11,926 --> 00:08:13,864
dressed as a taco
singing "La Vida Loca."
201
00:08:13,964 --> 00:08:16,903
(laughs) Ooh. Get ready to be
on my Instagram Live, Max!
202
00:08:16,970 --> 00:08:19,876
Come on. You know I don't like
being the center of attention.
203
00:08:19,976 --> 00:08:21,846
Darren, grab me one of those
drinks that you named after me.
204
00:08:21,913 --> 00:08:26,455
Oh, one Max on the Beach
coming right up!
205
00:08:26,556 --> 00:08:28,059
You're practically famous.
206
00:08:28,125 --> 00:08:30,831
It would be like if Carter's
afro ever gets on Is It Cake?
207
00:08:30,964 --> 00:08:32,802
I've sent pictures in
four times.
208
00:08:32,902 --> 00:08:35,574
What are they so afraid of?
209
00:08:35,674 --> 00:08:39,649
My cousin Janice was on TV once,
but it was Cops.
210
00:08:39,715 --> 00:08:41,318
She wasn't wearing pants.
211
00:08:41,418 --> 00:08:43,289
We were so proud.
212
00:08:45,259 --> 00:08:46,128
Hey, hey, Instagram.
213
00:08:46,228 --> 00:08:49,000
We are live
with songwriter Max Kingbird.
214
00:08:49,067 --> 00:08:51,004
-What up, Gram?
-We're roomies, too.
215
00:08:51,105 --> 00:08:52,875
He ate my damn yogurt
this morning.
216
00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:55,113
Anyway, say something
to your fans.
217
00:08:55,179 --> 00:08:57,818
Hey, guys.
Uh, this song is about my dad.
218
00:08:57,885 --> 00:08:59,689
It really means a lot to me.
219
00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:01,993
I'm just so honored
that you all are gonna hear it.
220
00:09:02,127 --> 00:09:04,632
And if you're hot, single,
and in Louisville,
221
00:09:04,665 --> 00:09:06,669
we are getting hammered
on moonshine
222
00:09:06,736 --> 00:09:08,272
-at The Middle C.
-(whoops)
223
00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:12,247
He's kidding. We don't want
no Feds up in the holler.
224
00:09:12,313 --> 00:09:14,719
Wait. I think they're going
to a commercial break.
225
00:09:14,786 --> 00:09:17,591
Uh, quiet down, everybody.
226
00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:18,994
Can everybody please quiet down?
227
00:09:19,060 --> 00:09:21,833
-Hey, shut the hell up!
-(chatter stops)
228
00:09:22,802 --> 00:09:25,006
Oh, uh, I think they heard you
229
00:09:25,072 --> 00:09:27,845
'cause they were already
quieting from when I... said it.
230
00:09:27,945 --> 00:09:30,149
(intro to "Say No More" plays)
231
00:09:30,216 --> 00:09:32,086
Oh, boy.
232
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,024
♪ ♪
233
00:09:39,367 --> 00:09:40,704
I'm back.
234
00:09:40,771 --> 00:09:44,779
I love it
when people come back.
235
00:09:45,781 --> 00:09:49,254
-(bell clangs)
-(dogs barking)
236
00:09:49,321 --> 00:09:51,926
♪ I come home and I wonder ♪
237
00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:56,034
♪ What was the journey for... ♪
238
00:09:56,168 --> 00:09:59,174
(dogs barking melody)
239
00:10:01,646 --> 00:10:02,815
(dogs howl)
240
00:10:02,882 --> 00:10:04,986
What the hell did they do
to your song?
241
00:10:05,086 --> 00:10:10,229
It's a disaster.
The labradoodle's flat.
242
00:10:10,263 --> 00:10:11,966
♪ ♪
243
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,705
ANNOUNCER: Neumann's Hill
Farm Fresh Dog Food--
244
00:10:14,772 --> 00:10:19,047
organic, healthy, delicious.
245
00:10:26,729 --> 00:10:29,100
How great was that?
246
00:10:30,136 --> 00:10:33,375
I-I think
my aunt uses that dog food.
247
00:10:33,475 --> 00:10:36,481
That's the end of my story.
248
00:10:36,549 --> 00:10:38,820
Look, it's broadcast TV.
249
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,626
No one our age is watching.
250
00:10:41,693 --> 00:10:44,431
Except for all of y'all.
You're cool.
251
00:10:48,907 --> 00:10:50,878
-(Kat sighs)
-(cork pops)
252
00:10:50,978 --> 00:10:54,284
Sorry.
My thumb already had it going.
253
00:10:59,361 --> 00:11:03,035
Hey, I got champagne
if you want to celebrate
254
00:11:03,135 --> 00:11:06,008
and tequila if you want
to get white-girl wasted.
255
00:11:08,178 --> 00:11:10,049
Okay, champagne with tequila.
(chuckles)
256
00:11:10,149 --> 00:11:13,088
That's called
"The Oldest Bridesmaid."
257
00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:15,761
I wrote that song about wanting
258
00:11:15,861 --> 00:11:18,633
to connect with my father
before he dies.
259
00:11:19,301 --> 00:11:22,240
Nobody's gonna
take me seriously now.
260
00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:23,409
That is not true.
261
00:11:23,542 --> 00:11:26,148
Eddie Vedder got his start
writing the jingle for Chili's.
262
00:11:26,181 --> 00:11:29,054
-Really?
-Don't google it, but yeah.
263
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:32,728
Look, I know that did not
turn out the way you expected,
264
00:11:32,795 --> 00:11:34,297
but it's still a huge deal, Max.
265
00:11:34,397 --> 00:11:37,537
Look, I get what you're trying
to do, but I'm not in the mood.
266
00:11:37,605 --> 00:11:40,611
-Max, it's not like
it's the end of your...
-Kat, stop.
267
00:11:40,677 --> 00:11:42,715
I want to be alone.
268
00:11:42,781 --> 00:11:46,255
Right. Sorry.
269
00:11:47,758 --> 00:11:49,527
Are you Max Kingbird?
270
00:11:49,629 --> 00:11:50,998
We saw you on Instagram Live.
271
00:11:51,064 --> 00:11:53,535
Oh, sorry, ladies.
He's not really in the mood.
272
00:11:53,603 --> 00:11:54,872
Hang on.
273
00:11:54,939 --> 00:11:56,643
Have you ladies ever heard
of a drink called
274
00:11:56,709 --> 00:11:58,713
"The Oldest Bridesmaid"?
275
00:11:58,780 --> 00:12:00,751
Here. Right this way.
Right this way.
276
00:12:00,817 --> 00:12:02,755
-Max.
-What?
277
00:12:02,821 --> 00:12:05,526
Misery loves...
278
00:12:05,594 --> 00:12:07,497
(whispers):
a threesome.
279
00:12:10,102 --> 00:12:12,473
Okay, it's your driver's test,
and I'm the DMV person.
280
00:12:12,608 --> 00:12:15,379
Why don't we start by pulling
into that Fuddruckers?
281
00:12:15,446 --> 00:12:16,816
-Okay.
-(turn signal clicking)
282
00:12:16,916 --> 00:12:18,218
No! It's a trick.
283
00:12:18,319 --> 00:12:20,557
You don't go to Fuddruckers
on your driver's test!
284
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:23,062
You get to go after if you pass.
285
00:12:23,128 --> 00:12:26,669
Or fail. Either way,
we're going to Fuddruckers.
286
00:12:26,736 --> 00:12:28,072
Oh, red light.
287
00:12:28,172 --> 00:12:31,612
Yes, I can see that. Thank you.
288
00:12:31,713 --> 00:12:32,881
Really? Lipstick right now?
289
00:12:32,948 --> 00:12:34,250
It's for you.
290
00:12:34,351 --> 00:12:37,123
It'll draw the eye away
from those glasses.
291
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,127
Yeah, well, say what you will,
292
00:12:39,227 --> 00:12:40,697
but that motorcycle cop
called me.
293
00:12:40,797 --> 00:12:43,235
She wants to have drinks
Friday night.
294
00:12:43,870 --> 00:12:45,774
-Green light.
-(scoffs) I know.
295
00:12:45,841 --> 00:12:47,143
I just like to be a careful
and courteous...
296
00:12:47,243 --> 00:12:50,449
-(horn blaring)
-Oh, bite me, asshat!
297
00:12:51,418 --> 00:12:53,255
Yeah, you're gonna sail
through this driving test.
298
00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:56,596
I don't know why you enjoy
criticizing me so much.
299
00:12:56,729 --> 00:12:58,098
Are you kidding me right now?
300
00:12:58,165 --> 00:13:00,069
You do nothing but criticize me.
301
00:13:00,136 --> 00:13:02,741
Oh, so now I'm a bad driver
and a bad mother?
302
00:13:02,841 --> 00:13:05,914
I never said
you were a bad driver.
303
00:13:05,981 --> 00:13:07,851
It doesn't matter how I drive.
304
00:13:07,885 --> 00:13:09,722
I'm going to fail anyway.
305
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,626
Why do you say that?
306
00:13:11,726 --> 00:13:13,563
I'm going blind.
307
00:13:16,068 --> 00:13:18,005
What?
308
00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:20,977
I found out
while you were on your trip.
309
00:13:21,612 --> 00:13:24,652
-I don't understand.
How could you...?
-(horn blaring)
310
00:13:24,719 --> 00:13:27,223
Oh, bite me, asshat!
311
00:13:34,237 --> 00:13:38,045
(sighs)
I have macular degeneration.
312
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:41,853
A fancy way of saying that,
over the next five to ten years,
313
00:13:41,953 --> 00:13:44,391
I'm going to lose my sight.
314
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:46,629
There's got to be something
they can do.
315
00:13:46,729 --> 00:13:48,031
Well, there isn't.
316
00:13:48,098 --> 00:13:51,338
I'm taking medication,
but it'll only slow it down.
317
00:13:51,405 --> 00:13:55,046
And that's why you never went
to get your license renewed.
318
00:13:55,112 --> 00:13:57,651
I knew
I couldn't pass the eye exam.
319
00:13:57,684 --> 00:13:59,487
I'm so sorry.
320
00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:05,299
I always thought, if I didn't
act old, I wouldn't get old.
321
00:14:06,368 --> 00:14:08,940
I don't know what kind of life
I'm going to have
322
00:14:09,007 --> 00:14:11,579
if I can't drive.
323
00:14:11,646 --> 00:14:13,950
We'll figure something out.
324
00:14:14,017 --> 00:14:15,386
I did figure it out.
325
00:14:15,453 --> 00:14:17,624
I was going to continue
to drive illegally,
326
00:14:17,758 --> 00:14:19,027
and you ruined it.
327
00:14:19,094 --> 00:14:21,899
-Mother...
-Look, Katharine,
it is what it is,
328
00:14:21,999 --> 00:14:24,537
and wallowing isn't going
to help.
329
00:14:26,475 --> 00:14:30,082
-(phone chimes)
-Find me the nearest bar.
330
00:14:31,418 --> 00:14:34,124
Wait. You can't drive
if you can't see.
331
00:14:34,257 --> 00:14:37,296
And you can't get a man
if you wear those ski goggles,
332
00:14:37,396 --> 00:14:39,334
but here we are.
333
00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:50,924
(door opens)
334
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:52,393
-Hey, baby.
-Hey.
335
00:14:52,460 --> 00:14:55,065
You think I could have a career
as a hand model?
336
00:14:55,166 --> 00:14:57,938
I think
I'm rewatching Bridgerton,
337
00:14:58,005 --> 00:14:59,875
and the duke is about
to take off his shirt.
338
00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:01,077
Well, I was picking up dinner,
339
00:15:01,111 --> 00:15:02,815
and I was reaching
for the lasagna,
340
00:15:02,915 --> 00:15:05,186
and the lady said,
"You have lovely hands."
341
00:15:05,286 --> 00:15:08,025
-She just wanted a bigger tip.
-That don't make her a liar.
342
00:15:08,091 --> 00:15:09,929
Should we get
mani-pedis this weekend?
343
00:15:09,962 --> 00:15:12,366
Can I just watch my lady porn?
344
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:14,170
(phone ringing)
345
00:15:14,839 --> 00:15:16,475
What's up, Darren?
346
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:17,811
Make it quick.
347
00:15:17,911 --> 00:15:19,615
I'm about
to Bridgerton and chill.
348
00:15:19,682 --> 00:15:22,086
(laughs)
No, he isn't.
349
00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:24,123
You might want
to come down here.
350
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:25,961
(playing upbeat tune)
351
00:15:26,094 --> 00:15:27,865
♪ Woof, woof ♪
352
00:15:27,931 --> 00:15:30,637
♪ Woof, woof, woof. ♪
353
00:15:30,704 --> 00:15:34,645
(howling)
354
00:15:34,712 --> 00:15:36,047
Come on, everybody.
355
00:15:36,114 --> 00:15:40,356
Put your paws together!
356
00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:43,495
Crap.
357
00:15:51,679 --> 00:15:52,948
I must really be drunk.
358
00:15:53,048 --> 00:15:54,985
I can't even taste the whiskey
in this.
359
00:15:55,085 --> 00:15:56,354
It's coffee.
360
00:15:56,421 --> 00:15:58,125
Yeah, I'm not doing caffeine
these days.
361
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,462
It's bad for your health.
362
00:16:01,097 --> 00:16:02,500
What the hell is wrong with you?
363
00:16:02,533 --> 00:16:06,308
You come down here, get drunk,
bark at my customers.
364
00:16:06,408 --> 00:16:10,049
I ought to swat you on the nose
with a rolled-up newspaper.
365
00:16:10,115 --> 00:16:12,053
Have you seen TikTok lately?
366
00:16:12,119 --> 00:16:14,057
You talking about
the bikini jump-rope challenge?
367
00:16:14,123 --> 00:16:15,526
It's okay to look
368
00:16:15,627 --> 00:16:20,169
'cause they're raising money
for juvenile diabetes.
369
00:16:21,338 --> 00:16:24,879
Thousands of people
posted videos singing my song
370
00:16:24,979 --> 00:16:26,916
with their dogs.
371
00:16:27,016 --> 00:16:28,620
(laughs)
372
00:16:28,753 --> 00:16:30,957
I'm an Internet joke.
373
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:33,428
I wrote the new
"Never Gonna Give You Up."
374
00:16:33,528 --> 00:16:37,671
Oh, you must be drunk if you're
hating on my boy Rick Astley.
375
00:16:38,305 --> 00:16:41,378
I thought
it was gonna go away, but now...
376
00:16:41,444 --> 00:16:45,052
It's gonna dog you forever?
(laughs)
377
00:16:45,152 --> 00:16:48,560
Damn. How come I'm always clever
when Randi's not around?
378
00:16:49,327 --> 00:16:52,099
That song came from my heart.
379
00:16:52,166 --> 00:16:54,605
I'm an artist.
380
00:16:54,705 --> 00:16:57,343
Oh, you're an artist now.
381
00:16:57,410 --> 00:17:00,215
I thought you were a guy
who just threw up in my piano.
382
00:17:00,282 --> 00:17:02,621
-You don't get it.
-I don't get it?
383
00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:06,027
You wrote that song so people
would hear it and enjoy it.
384
00:17:06,094 --> 00:17:08,532
And now, all those people do.
385
00:17:08,633 --> 00:17:10,971
I don't know, man.
386
00:17:11,037 --> 00:17:13,041
Sounds like a win to me.
387
00:17:13,141 --> 00:17:16,147
And that's not just me
throwing you a bone.
388
00:17:16,214 --> 00:17:18,953
I don't like clever Carter.
389
00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:20,790
And I don't like having
to drive down here
390
00:17:20,824 --> 00:17:22,293
and leave behind lasagna
391
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:24,865
and a girlfriend who's all
revved up from Bridgerton.
392
00:17:24,932 --> 00:17:27,036
Bridgerton, man!
393
00:17:27,169 --> 00:17:29,040
I just don't want to be known
as the guy
394
00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:31,311
who did the stupid
dog food song.
395
00:17:31,378 --> 00:17:34,551
Better than being the guy
who never did anything.
396
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,193
Can you take me home?
397
00:17:39,260 --> 00:17:41,331
Sure. Hey, if we hurry,
398
00:17:41,431 --> 00:17:43,903
I'll still have time
to hit Randi with a little,
399
00:17:43,970 --> 00:17:45,239
(British accent):
"Evenin' Duchess.
400
00:17:45,339 --> 00:17:47,410
You fancy me bangers and mash?"
401
00:17:47,476 --> 00:17:50,516
I really don't know
why Randi has sex with you.
402
00:17:51,184 --> 00:17:53,455
Hey, you think
I could be a hand model?
403
00:17:53,522 --> 00:17:54,490
What?
404
00:17:54,591 --> 00:17:59,167
Just imagine a slo-mo shot
of me putting on lotion.
405
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,041
KAT:
Hello?
406
00:18:03,108 --> 00:18:04,645
Oh, Katharine?
407
00:18:04,712 --> 00:18:06,816
Hey.
408
00:18:06,882 --> 00:18:08,218
What are you doing here?
409
00:18:08,285 --> 00:18:11,726
Wait. How much do you need?
410
00:18:11,826 --> 00:18:13,796
I don't need money.
411
00:18:13,863 --> 00:18:15,600
I've got a mother who loves me.
412
00:18:15,667 --> 00:18:17,938
(both laugh)
413
00:18:18,038 --> 00:18:20,275
There's your father's
sense of whimsy.
414
00:18:20,342 --> 00:18:23,015
I came to take you to yoga.
415
00:18:23,115 --> 00:18:26,187
Oh. Well, since I can't drive,
416
00:18:26,221 --> 00:18:29,193
I... I hadn't planned on
going anyplace for a while.
417
00:18:29,260 --> 00:18:30,797
That's why I'm here.
418
00:18:30,864 --> 00:18:34,370
I took the day off so I can take
you to yoga and the hair salon.
419
00:18:34,470 --> 00:18:38,145
I'm pretty sure I'm still owed
a trip to Fuddruckers.
420
00:18:38,245 --> 00:18:40,015
I can't ask you to do that.
421
00:18:40,115 --> 00:18:41,886
You don't have to ask.
422
00:18:41,952 --> 00:18:43,856
I want to.
423
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:45,125
Really?
424
00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:47,396
Of course. You're my mother.
425
00:18:47,463 --> 00:18:50,269
I'm not gonna let you
go through this alone.
426
00:18:54,077 --> 00:18:55,680
Why are you squeezing me?
427
00:18:55,747 --> 00:18:57,383
Oh. It's a hug.
428
00:18:57,416 --> 00:19:00,422
Cross that off my bucket list.
429
00:19:02,293 --> 00:19:04,598
I love you, sweetheart.
430
00:19:05,265 --> 00:19:07,403
I love you, too.
431
00:19:07,470 --> 00:19:10,476
As long as we're going to
my salon, won't you let Francois
432
00:19:10,542 --> 00:19:12,413
-finally...?
-Okay, don't push it.
433
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:15,620
Sorry if I wanted you to look
nice for your new lady friend.
434
00:19:23,034 --> 00:19:24,537
Hey, Internet. I'm Max Kingbird.
435
00:19:24,605 --> 00:19:27,076
I wrote the song that inspired
all the singing dog videos,
436
00:19:27,176 --> 00:19:28,813
uh, trending number two
right below
437
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,418
"hashtag double-D double Dutch."
438
00:19:31,484 --> 00:19:34,825
Anyway, I thought maybe
you'd like to hear my version.
439
00:19:36,562 --> 00:19:39,568
♪ Touchdown in Baton Rouge ♪
440
00:19:40,402 --> 00:19:41,906
♪ 20 years gone... ♪
441
00:19:42,039 --> 00:19:43,475
-Take it partner.
-(barking along)
442
00:19:43,576 --> 00:19:47,183
♪ Tough old man
I hardly know says ♪
443
00:19:47,249 --> 00:19:49,855
♪ "Welcome home, son" ♪
444
00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:52,761
♪ The years were written
on his face ♪
445
00:19:52,828 --> 00:19:56,635
(in harmony):
♪ They gave way to a smile ♪
446
00:19:56,702 --> 00:20:00,209
♪ He shook my hand
and poured a glass, and said ♪
447
00:20:00,309 --> 00:20:02,814
♪ "Won't you stay a while?" ♪
448
00:20:02,881 --> 00:20:04,050
(yowls)
449
00:20:04,150 --> 00:20:05,352
♪ Said... ♪ Oh.
450
00:20:05,452 --> 00:20:06,922
-(barking)
-Oh.
451
00:20:07,022 --> 00:20:09,695
Hey. Hey.
452
00:20:09,762 --> 00:20:11,799
♪ ♪
453
00:20:14,437 --> 00:20:18,713
♪ Touchdown in Baton Rouge,
20 years gone ♪
454
00:20:18,780 --> 00:20:22,119
♪ A tough old man
I hardly know said ♪
455
00:20:22,186 --> 00:20:23,756
♪ "Welcome home, son" ♪
456
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:29,233
♪ I come home and I wonder,
what was the journey for ♪
457
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:31,672
♪ My old man sips his whiskey ♪
458
00:20:31,739 --> 00:20:33,743
♪ "It's all right, son.
Say no more" ♪
459
00:20:33,810 --> 00:20:35,914
♪ My old man
sips his whiskey ♪
460
00:20:35,947 --> 00:20:41,424
♪ "It's all right, son.
Say no more." ♪
461
00:20:45,733 --> 00:20:47,671
Captioning sponsored by
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
462
00:20:47,704 --> 00:20:49,675
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
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