Original subtitles

You!

Don't you dare!

Never!

Come back here, you mutt!

Whoa, whoa.

Hey, hey wait... hey, no!

Aha!

Pizza chef: Don't let him escape.

Pizza chef: Come on!

- Ladder worker: Come on. - Pizza Chef: Come on!

Come back here!

Woman: Oh.

Get him! The dog, the dog, get the dog!

Careful, careful.

Careful.

Hmm?

- You. - I'm going to get you! - Chef: Mark my words, I'll get you some day.

Ah.

I have been looking all over for this guy.

Dad, are you trying to give me a heart attack?

Billy, what have I told you about playing with the animals, huh?

Pete here isn't just any lizard.

He is a professional actor.

And because you were horsing around,

he's late, so I'm late.

Horsing around?

Horsing around.

Hey, guys, I found Pete. Yay!

♪ Put the window down and the pedal to the floor ♪

♪ But the fog bank looms just a mile off the shore ♪

♪ It's only 10 AM and the beach is packed ♪

♪ The waves rolling in got my mind all sacked... ♪

Hey, Stinky. Here.

Hey, baby. Breakfast.

Up up up up. Ow!

♪ Pull out the board, wax up the stick... ♪

What about you, Spencer? Boop.

Okay, everybody, have a good day.

♪ - It's a beautiful day... - Oh, come on, Dad! ♪

You come on. We're late. I've got to get to the set.

♪ It's a beautiful day ♪

♪ Yeah, it's a beautiful day... ♪

It's fine.

It still crackles.

Water. Dad, really?

♪ It's a beautiful day ♪

♪ Yeah, it's a beautiful day ♪

Hey, hey.

Go get it. Go get it.

Come on, Billy-boy, let's go, let's go.

Here you go, Pete.

How's my star, huh?

Oh yeah, looking good. Looking good.

Billy, come on.

You know...

it's better to be an hour early than a second late.

Success depends on it.

Maybe if I work real hard,

I can be the head lizard guy on some dumb movie.

- I'm sorry, what was that? - Nothing.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, buddy, what's with the attitude?

You have all these freaky animals all over the place...

and all I want is a dog.

Billy, we've talked about this.

Lots of people have dogs.

I don't know anyone else who has a lizard as a pet.

Hey, that lizard is not my pet.

That lizard is my job.

We don't have room for a dog.

We don't have money for a dog.

At the very least, it'd be a huge distraction for the training.

Dogs are pets, and we don't have pets.

No dogs, buddy. I'm sorry.

Whatever, Dad.

Okay, well, have a good day, and don't forget

to check in with Mrs. Hollinger when you get home.

I love...

...you.

"Yup, I love you too, Dad."

Oh, man.

Hi.

- Photo ID. - Really?

It... it... it's just that I'm so late.

You know, I work here every day.

Photo ID.

It's... it's... it's me.

Jerk.

Eddie: Thank you...

...very much, thank you.

Eddie, Eddie! You're late!

Do you think it's part of my job

to be waiting for my assistant to show up? I don't think so.

- I'm sorry, Sal, I had trouble with the lizard... - I don't want the excuses.

I just want the lizard. Now did you teach it a good trick?

- Oh, he's got it all right. - It's a good trick?

- Good trick. - Better be, better be.

Let's go. Almost time for Frizzy's close-up.

Need to compose.

Stanley: Here, go with 74, then 53-A,

- and make sure props gets that. - I got it.

Director's on set.

- Now in this scene, Fanny... - Patricia: Frizzy.

- What? - The dog's name is Frizzy.

- What did I say? - Fanny.

Whatever. The dog gets chased by a snake.

- Lisa: A lizard. - Thought we had a snake.

- Snakes are too expensive. - Patricia made me rewrite it.

What kind of picture are we making, anyway?

- It's a dog picture. - That is not a dog.

I grew up in the projects. I know a rat when I see one.

She's a Bichon Frise.

- What? - She's like a poodle, but not.

It's a metaphor for life's struggle against conformity.

Look, I don't care what it is. Let's just shoot this,

so I can put the final nail in the coffin of my career.

- Sal! - Yes, HerrDirector.

Would you get the girly dog and the snake,

- so we can so this? - Absolutely, sir.

Oh, and sir, I can't wait for you to see

the trick I just taught the lizard...

very complicated.

I'm amazed I was able to accomplish it.

- Get the dog. - Yes, sir.

Who are you? Are you on payroll?

I'm Eddie.

I'm like the... assistant animal trainer.

Good for you.

- So is that it? - Hmm?

Oh, yeah, that's... that's Pete.

- Pete? - Pete.

- Pete the lizard. - Hmm.

- You want to hold him? - Oh, no, no no no.

- Can I see him, though? - Yeah, sure.

Wow, he's so...

lizardy.

Yeah. Pretty good-looking guy.

Hey, I think he likes you.

Sal: Oh! Oh, no.

No.

Why, why? Oh, the humanity!

What and why are you yelling?

Frizzy the Bichon Frise

has been dognapped.

Why?

♪ I'm learning a lot from you

♪ I've got to be myself ♪

♪ I think that we're onto something good ♪

♪ Who can explain to anyone else ♪

♪ Oh-oh, you wanna come with me? ♪

♪ Stand up next to my side ♪

♪ Did you see the way that she looked at me

♪ The way that she smiled? ♪

♪ The way that she smiled?

♪ 'Cause you and me

♪ Can take on everyone

♪ The world will see ♪

♪ That we're not afraid of them, the bullies and the beasts ♪

♪ Don't stand a chance when it is you and me

♪ Against the world ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ♪

♪ You and me against the world ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ♪

Hey!

What are you doing?

You stole my cookies.

♪ And we do what we please ♪

♪ Love, don't you worry... ♪

You're not supposed to eat the bag.

I guess I don't mind sharing with a friend.

Hey, what are you doing?

What are you doing?!

Whoa!

No. Hey, hey.

♪ You and me ♪

♪ - Against the world - Cut it out. ♪

- Girl: Hey. - Oh, oh.

Hey, hey, hey.

- Interesting dog. - Oh... he... he...

he's not mine, yeah.

He's just some... some weird dog.

- Oh. - Yeah.

I don't even like him.

Boy: Hey, Katie, you coming?

Well, whoever's weird dog it is,

I like him.

- Bye. - Bye.

That was the first time she ever talked to me.

Am I dreaming?

We want $1,000,000

or the Bichon Frise gets it.

$1,000,000.

Why would we pay a ransom when the wussy dog

hasn't shot one frame of film yet?

So we're talking a recast.

Marco, set up a casting call for tomorrow.

- We have to find a new star for our film. - Yes, ma'am.

Sal, you lost the dog, cost us a day. You're fired.

Oh, wait, wait. Excuse me.

I'm sorry, but to tell the truth,

it was my assistant who was in charge of Frizzy.

He's the one who left the door unlocked.

No, I'm in charge of the lizard.

I never even met the dog. I don't train dogs.

You probably orchestrated the whole thing.

- What, this guy? - This guy!

Okay, you're fired!

What? Me?

You heard our fearless producer.

Remove yourself from the premises immediately!

Sal, set up a casting call for tomorrow.

We're literally hemorrhaging money here.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Am I fired? 'Cause you're firing everybody,

and it makes me nervous. I haven't worked since "Good Times."

What are you still doing here?

I need to get my things together. My lizard's in make-up.

Get your things tomorrow. For right now, just get out of my sight.

Hey, Lizard Guy.

Sorry. I know it wasn't your fault.

You're a jerk.

Why did you lie?

Showbiz, Eddie.

It's showbiz!

Man: Closing up. Everybody off the stage now!

Billy: Where are you from, boy? What's your name?

Spot?

No spots.

Maybe you're like Abracadabra...

or Banjo...

or Quicksilver...

or something.

Ah, we'll figure it out.

We'll find a good name for you,

hopefully one Katie likes.

I can't wait for you to meet Dad.

Whoa!

Oops.

Thanks, boy.

Oh, man!

I'm missing the "Top 10 Video Countdown."

Dorks.

Hey, boy.

♪ - You're at the top, you're at the top...

What? What?

♪ - What's the matter? - Can't get up... ♪

Wow.

You really like this music, huh?

I know what I can name you.

Wolfgang.

Announcer: You're watching "Classic Performances,"

the Cleveland Orchestra performing "Beethoven's Fifth Symphony."

Beethoven.

That's who you are!

Come here, Beethoven. Good boy.

What the... what?

Who is this?

Oh. Uh, hi, Dad.

This is Beethoven.

We were making spaghetti.

Oh!

Dad, I know you're mad.

Mad?

Yeah, Bill. Actually, I am mad.

You bring a stray dog into the house...

a huge one, actually,

you destroy the kitchen...

Billy: You bring animals in all the time!

- That's different. - I don't see how.

Because it's my job.

It was my job.

It's different, okay?

Beethoven and I were just making dinner.

It's not like anyone will make it for us.

Now what's that supposed to mean?

Come on. You know I have to work.

Hey.

I know.

It's just that everything would be so much easier if Mom were here.

I miss her too.

I think about her every day.

But, Billy, she's gone.

She's in our hearts now.

I know. I just meant that...

Look.

How about we put the dog in the animal room tonight, okay?

Tomorrow, we'll look for the owner.

If we find him, great.

If we can't, I'll take him to an animal rescue.

What? No!

Hey. You know the rules, pal...

no dogs in the house.

But if no one adopts him, they'll put him down.

Someone will adopt him.

You're a jerk!

Bill.

Are you taking a snack for later?

Okay, there's your bed. Good night.

What? You're going to leave him with all these creepy animals?

Creepy animals? They're all very professional.

They're going to be fast friends. Let's go.

No. No. No, no, no. You stay right there.

This is your bed.

You're hanging out with these guys for the night, okay?

Good night, Beethoven.

Bye, creepy animals.

Huh?

Eddie: Aagh!

Woman: Hey! Keep that dog quiet!

Tick: Oh, Frizzy, my poor, stressed-out little movie star.

You got your appetite back!

Oh! Yes! Yes!

Bones: What are you laughing at?

She's eating a sandwich...

like a person!

Dude, is that my sandwich?

Bad dog. Bad dog.

Tick: It's him.

Idiots.

- Hey, boss. I didn't see you there. How's it going? - Hey, boss.

Do you have the ransom?

No, I don't have the ransom.

Would anyone like to ask me why

I don't have the ransom?

Why don't you have the ransom?

Because they didn't pay it!

I mean, why would they pay it

when they have not shot one frame of film

with Frizzy the Bichon Frise?

Clearly, you have to wait for the dog to be important to the movie,

preferably a star, before you kidnap the dog and hold it for ransom.

Otherwise, it's just a dog!

Wait a minute. Right...

This was your plan. Didn't you set the schedule?

That's a lie. It was his idea.

- What? - Sal: Anyway, I do have a plan,

one that will work.

Okay.

We wait.

We wait 10 days... 10 shooting days,

and then we dognap the new dog.

Then they have to pay.

They think they can outsmart me, Sal DeMarco,

the greatest animal trainer in the history of Hollywood...

the man who taught a chicken to fly

and a cat to come when it's called!

Well, they can think again.

They can think again!

Bones: Wait.

- Chickens don't fly. - Oh, shut up.

Eddie: Well, good morning. How did you sleep?

Such a sweet little animal... adorable.

But don't worry. We're taking you to a nice new home,

and you can sleep all you want there.

Come on.

Come on, doggie.

Let's go. Inside.

Hey. No.

Hey. Doggie, doggie, doggie. Doggie. Doggie.

Come on. Get in the truck.

No! Come back!

Come on, Doggie!

It's Beethoven.

I'm sorry. Beethoven. Come on.

Let's go. Come on.

I think he should ride up front with us.

Us?

Well, if you're taking my new best friend to the pound,

I think I get to go.

Okay.

Fine. Fine. You can say goodbye.

I think he should ride up front.

Up front? Never.

Animals ride in the back.

♪ Oh, you and me

♪ Can take on everyone

♪ The world will see

♪ I'm not afraid of them ♪

♪ The bullies and the beasts ♪

♪ They don't stand a chance ♪

♪ When it is you and me... ♪

Stay here. I'm going to go get Pete. I'll be right back.

Okay.

I mean it. Stay right here in the truck.

I don't get it.

Got no charisma.

I mean, you really think this guy is a star?

Yes. Yes, I do.

I think you could call him Papi...

Papi the pug.

Poochy. Puggy.

I think he lost his mind.

Next!

You blew it.

Okay, which one of you mongrels is next?

- Sal. - What are you doing here?

Well, I came to get my things...

- and Pete. - Pete?

Don't know Pete. Who's next?

I am.

You've got to be kidding.

But he has the heart of a wolf.

- Pete is the lizard. - What lizard?

- My lizard. - Oh, I see.

You lose my movie star, but you're interested in your lizard.

I didn't lose anybody. You know I had nothing to do with that.

All of your things are underneath the stairwell.

If you have a lizard, that's where it would be.

Do you mean you didn't even feed him?

I've had a lot of things on my mind.

Next.

Pete.

Pete.

Pete.

Are you all right? Oh.

Billy: Those are just a bunch of mutts.

You're 10 times the dog, Beethoven.

Oh!

Dad found Pete.

I was worried about you, buddy.

- Is he all right? - Yeah.

Pete's doing just fine. Aren't you, Pete?

- Pete! - Beethoven!

Billy: Come back!

Billy: Beethoven! No!

Eddie: Hey, get back here! Wait.

Billy: Where is he?

Billy: Oh!

- That's not even a dog. - Sal: Not technically.

But check out the personality.

It's a cat.

Yes, but a charming cat.

I think we could call it Kitty the Cat.

That's the fattest cat I've ever seen.

Thyroid condition.

Look, man. The movie's about a dog. I need a dog, not a cat.

I need a dog.

Yes, sir.

Oh!

- What the... - Hey!

What kind of dog was that?

- Eddie: Hey hey! Whoa! - Sal: Get me out of here!

- Help, get me out! - Stanley: You...

Patricia: Stop this dog!

This dog is coming at me! Here he comes!

Stanley: Show me the dog.

Oh.

Whoa!

Whoa! Get this mangy mutt out of here!

Doesn't he know I'm the producer?

Get me down!

Get me out of this chair!

Whoa, whoa!

Billy: Dad! The door! He's not going to make it!

Oh!

Eddie: Pete!

I'm coming, Pete!

Patricia: Would you come and get this dog...

Patricia: Oh no, oh no!

Oh!

Whoa!

Patricia: Stop! Heel, heel!

Patricia: Help me.

Assistant Director: Hey, that's the producer! Somebody help her!

Patricia: Somebody help me!

- Are you okay? - Come on, easy.

You okay?

Stay. No, no. Stay.

Assistant Director: It's okay, we've got you. Easy, easy, easy.

You all right?

Stanley: Phenomenal!

Eject these hoodlums from the lobby immediately!

They disrupted my audition!

Hold it, hold it. Don't touch that dog.

That animal knocked me over.

He destroyed my backdrop.

- That dog is amazing. - Sal: Sorry?

My sides are splitting.

- Whose dog is this? - Uh-oh.

Um... it's mine.

- Who are you? - Eddie's one of the animal trainers.

Was. Was. I fired him after the Frizzy dognapping.

Well, he's rehired.

Sal: I will not work with this man.

- You know what? You're exactly right. - Thank you.

- You're fired! - What?

- Get him out of here! - You can't do that!

- Take him off the lot! - Hey, I'm a member of the union!

You can't do that! I have a lanyard!

This is wrong on so many levels!

- What's the dog's name? - Oh... Beethoven.

Beethoven. I like it.

You know what, auditions are over. This dog is the star of my movie.

Everybody, be ready first thing tomorrow morning.

Patricia: Stanley! Whoa. Wait a minute.

Um... uh. Uh... hi, hi.

I know. I know we're going in a... in a new direction and all,

but... the movie is about a Bichon Frise. It's in the title.

I never liked that title as much as I love this dog.

"Beethoven." I mean, it's got a ring to it. I like that as a title.

But it's about... little Frizzy,

and her little adventures.

- And she's... she's French. - Not anymore.

It's about a big dog that knocks everything down.

This dog is a superstar.

This could be my statue.

Stanley.

You're talking about rewriting the whole film

around this... dog.

Do you know how many people would pay big money

to see what that dog just did?

Lisa. I think you should spend some quality time with the dog,

just really get inside his head.

See what makes him tick.

Same set. Same characters.

Just put old Beethoven in there.

Ooh!

You're going to make me a lot of money.

Yeah.

- Oh, and Freddie. - Um... Eddie.

Eddie. Uh... you're training a star.

Use the main gate from now on.

I love that dog!

Main gate. Wow.

- Sweet! - Main gate.

- Stan: I've got some promise. - Patricia: In your dreams.

Wow.

So, um... what should I train him to do?

What?

Oh, well, he said we start shooting... tomorrow.

So... maybe I could see a script?

Oh. Sure.

I'll get you a script.

Only my script is about

a cute, fuzzy little French dog

who brings a family together.

I have no idea what "Beethoven" is about!

- Oh. - So I would like to thank you for coming in here

and basically wrecking my life.

Me? I... I didn't do anything.

No, your dog did.

So I'm just going to go home and make myself a pot of coffee,

and start writing a new script!

It's no big deal, right?

I'm a professional. Who needs sleep?

Not me, that's for sure, I don't need sleep.

Why would I need sleep?

Why on earth would I need sleep?

All I need to do is go and rewrite an entire script...

Is she crazy?

Maybe.

♪ A celebration... ♪

Ah, this is it, Bill.

I am the head animal trainer of a major motion picture.

"Use the main gate," she said.

The main gate. This could change everything.

Do you know what this means? This means milk in your cereal from now on, my son.

I mean, this is the big time.

I could be the animal trainer to the stars.

♪ Celebrate good times ♪

I think there's something wrong with Beethoven.

Wrong? What could be wrong?

He's going to be a major star.

He looks sad. Are you sad, boy?

Beethoven!

- Billy: Beethoven! - Oh, Jesus.

Hey!

Hey! Come back!

Billy: Dad, come on!

I've got to get that dog back.

- I've got to get him back. - Billy: Where is he going?

- Elderly woman: Hey! - Lost dog, sorry!

Come on!

Whipper-snapper!

Where did he go?

Billy: There he is. Go!

- Beethoven! - Beethoven!

What is he doing?

Billy: Why would he run away? I thought he liked me.

Eddie: We can't lose that dog, Billy.

Billy: You just want to find him because of that movie.

Eddie: That dog is our meal ticket.

Baker: This time you pay! Oh my God.

- Ooh, there he is! - Beethoven!

There he goes.

- Eddie: Hey, hey! - Billy: Beethoven!

- Oh, no. - Whoa.

Billy: Dad, we have puppies.

Wow.

This is why Beethoven ran away.

He was bringing them food.

Are these your puppies, boy?

Maybe... he's not a boy.

Nope. He's a boy, all right.

I think he's their dad.

Where's your wife, Beethoven?

Hey, Dad. I think Beethoven's a single dad, just like you.

Uh-uh. We are not taking in this huge dog and three puppies.

Dad... you called Beethoven our meal ticket.

I guess that means you have to keep him happy, right?

Right?

Right, right.

Okay, you win. Let's go home...

Let's all go home for now.

- Yay! - Eddie: Yay, yay, everybody's happy.

Come on, let's go. Beethoven's got to be on the set early tomorrow.

Hey, Dad, can Beethoven and the puppies sleep in my bed tonight?

No, no. The puppies are in the animal room, Beethoven's outside.

Let's get one thing straight, Beethoven is not our pet.

He's my job, so don't get too attached to him.

And don't get too attached to these puppies.

Oh, no.

Okay, you won this one, but that's it.

From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.

Eddie: There it is, Beethoven... the main gate.

♪ I woke up on my roof with my brothers... ♪

- Hi, I'm Eddie from... - Good morning, sir. I know who you are.

♪ And my dad ♪

♪ - Paints the house... - Have a great day. ♪

♪ - ...different colors... - Thank you. ♪

She knows who we are, buddy.

♪ Where would we be ♪

♪ - If we couldn't dream? - Wow. ♪

♪ You never know, we get a little crazy ♪

♪ You never know, we get a little loud ♪

♪ Never know, we're never going to fake it ♪

♪ We are wild, we are free ♪

♪ We are more than it takes to... ♪

What do you think, pal, huh?

♪ That's just the way we roll... ♪

♪ - Hi. - That's just the way we roll ♪

♪ That's just the way we roll

♪ Oh... ♪

♪ That's just the way we roll. ♪

I don't get it.

Well, see, Beethoven becomes part of the family.

What's this thing with him shaking hands?

It's cute and funny.

Beethoven shakes George Newton's hand,

and they become friends.

I don't think that's funny.

- Is that funny? - No, ma'am.

Have you ever had a dog?

Well, no, but...

I just don't think it's funny.

It's heartwarming.

Well, let's shoot it, but it better play.

Tomorrow's pages better be much... better.

- Yes, sir. - Now go tell the dog guy what we're going to do.

- Mm. - Just doesn't seem funny to me.

Hey, no!

Beethoven, bad.

Ah! Ooh!

Whoa.

I'm sorry. He's just a little nervous.

It's his first day in a...

Now come here, would you... hey!

Stop messing around.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey!

- How's it going? - Oh, good.

Great. Just...

Just playing with the dog.

- It relaxes him. - Playing, huh?

Yeah, it's... animal training stuff.

It's very complicated.

Right.

Stop it! Would you...

Beethoven! Beethoven, come back here!

- Well... take it easy. - I'll see you.

Hey! Hey!

What are you doing?

Bad dog. I'm sorry, I'm sorry about that.

Come on, come on. This is just pathetic.

You got to start listening to me.

Come on, this is work time, okay?

This isn't fun and games time.

Are you listening?

Lisa: Hey, Lizard Guy.

- It's Eddie. - What?

My name is Eddie, not Lizard Guy.

Listen, Lizard Guy, I haven't slept in 36 hours,

I couldn't remember your name if you told me,

and I really don't care if you ever do.

Did you get the new pages?

Oh. Yeah, I got them.

So we're good? He'll sit there,

he'll bark softly, he'll politely shake the dad's hand,

signifying their new family partnership, hmm?

Mm mm, yeah, sure, absolutely.

He should probably do exactly that... I hope.

That doesn't fill me with a lot of confidence.

Woman: Hey!

- Woman: It's my nosh! - Now, come on. No...

- Oh, this could be a long day.

Assistant Director: We need Beethoven on the set, please.

- Where's the dog? - No cookies.

Yeah, he's coming. He'll be right...

Bad, bad for him. Come on, just... come!

What do you want?

Speak.

Beethoven, speak.

Eddie: Beethoven... speak, speak, speak!

Speak.

- Hey, there's your favorite, George. - George: Hey!

That's my bacon. Give me that back.

- That's my bacon. - No, no...

Bad dog, give me that.

- George: Oh... - Sorry.

You slimed me.

Stanley: That's perfect.

Cut, cut. That's brilliant.

Stanley: That's brilliant. He slimed me.

That's... gross.

That's it. Good work.

Uh-huh... um...

Thanks. Hey, why don't we make the whole scene

about him stealing the bacon, huh?

- Quick on-set rewrite? - Stanley: I like it.

- Matter of fact, I love it. - Okay.

Stanley: We got ourselves a star right there.

Dog, welcome to Hollywood.

♪ What I like about you

♪ You really hold me tight ♪

♪ Oh, you tell me I'm the only one ♪

♪ You make everything all right

♪ Yeah, it's true

♪ What I like about you ♪

♪ That's what I like about you

♪ What I like about you

♪ It's what I like ♪

♪ - Hey!

Boy: Loser.

Looks like someone should have kept the training wheels on.

Yeah, that's right. Run home to your daddy and mommy.

Oh wait, that's right.

- You don't have a mommy. - Chris, stop it.

Kids: Loser.

Hey, did you have fun with your friends?

- You're late. - Sorry, we were on the set.

- You okay? - I'm great.

Cut it out.

You're such a nerd, Beethoven.

Billy: Dad, there's that crazy lady.

Eddie: Yup, that's her.

Come on, boy.

Oh!

- Eddie: Ooh. - Oh!

Uh... hi.

Hi.

Why are you on our steps?

Oh, I'm...

trying to write a script.

Oh.

That's a weird place to do it.

Let's go, Beethoven.

I'm starving.

Uh... oh, thank you.

I was hoping maybe I could come in

and watch the dog for a bit.

- Watch the dog. - Yeah.

Get some inspiration.

I'm suffering from a little writer's block.

Patricia and Stanley are really pressuring me.

Can you watch the dog while you eat?

Probably.

Yes, I can do that.

Come.

How's your Kung Pao chicken?

Mm, it's good, thanks.

How's your... what is that?

Vegetable lasagna.

Delicious.

Mm.

Mine is still frozen.

Oh, do you want me to put that back in the microwave?

Oh, no, I kind of like it.

It's like a macaroni and cheese Popsicle.

You guys have microwave dinners every night?

No.

Sometimes we have pizza.

Or burgers.

You're really a couple of bachelors, huh?

We... we do okay.

Oh no, I'm sure, I can see.

Lisa: So I hear you named Beethoven.

Yeah...

He really likes that classical stuff.

Cool. Maybe I'll put that in the script.

- Yeah? - If it's okay with you.

Yeah, yeah, of course.

Billy, finish licking your food.

So...

I'm beat.

Okay.

- Big day tomorrow. - Right.

- I'm going to go to bed. - Good night.

Do you... do you have a... home?

Oh.

You're right, I should leave.

- Do I have to? - Um...

I have no idea what to write.

I mean, there's no scene written for tomorrow.

I'm going to be fired.

You know...

I got fired this week.

It seems to lead to promotion in this business.

So why don't you just

stay here as long as you like, work.

I'm sure you'll come up with something great.

- Really? - Yeah.

Hey, Eddie.

I just wanted to say thanks.

You're nice, Lizard Guy.

Thanks.

Good night.

She thinks you're nice...

Lizard Guy.

Ah... oh.

Ah... oh, come on!

This is my bed.

Oh yeah, ha ha. You think this is funny?

- This is not funny. - It is, actually.

And I think I have our scene for tomorrow. Thanks.

He kissed me all over my neck.

You went to first base on my neck.

Sal: This is out target.

He answers to Beethoven.

- Yes? - Good name.

Shut up.

He's big, and he's strong.

But soon he will be ours.

But what if they don't pay the ransom again?

Well, this time they will pay the ransom,

which is why we are waiting

for the film to almost be complete before we nab him.

The studio thinks he's their next big star.

So yes, they will pay the ransom,

and I will get my revenge.

They'd better, because I don't want

another dumb dog running around here again.

- Take it back. - What?

Take back what you just said about Frizzy.

- No. - Frizzy loves you.

There will not be another dog running around here,

whether they pay the ransom or not.

- What do you mean? - They fired me.

They humiliated me.

So yes, we will take Beethoven.

Yes, they will pay the ransom.

But no...

they will never see their darling dog again.

Oh, hey, hey.

Come on, that's not for you.

Stay.

Oh...

Eddie: Really?

Pedestrian: Hey, watch it!

- There he is. - Come on, honey.

Oh, heel, heel, heel. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

- There's my guy. - Oh, hi.

Who's a movie star? You are, that's who, huh?

How'd you sleep last night? You look great.

Hey, what are you feeding him? Is he gaining weight?

It looks like he's been working out. It shows.

If this dog looks tubby on screen, you're out of a job.

Guess what I got for you, Beethoven?

Come on, man. Come on.

Come on, man. Come on, come on.

Eddie: Let's see what we got.

- Ta da! - Whoa.

- Ah, it's just a little token. - A very expensive token.

Hey, you're a star now, and everybody's going to start treating you like that.

That trailer's bigger than my house.

Stanley, tell him about the staff.

Oh yeah, the staff. Come on out, fellas!

Staff?

Hairstylist: This is so exciting.

Voila.

Beethoven, that's your entourage.

Come on, a chef? A masseuse? Personal groomers?

I'm surprised you guys didn't get the Dog Whisperer.

Dog Whisperer.

Here I am, calm and assertive.

This is... this is ridiculous.

Shh!

This is Hollywood.

George: What the...?

I thought I was the star of this movie.

Here you go. Home, sweet home.

Oh... wow.

Wow.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Get off the couch.

Patricia: No, no, no. That's his couch.

- You, get off the chair. - What?

Now... look. You see that pile of scripts over there?

Okay, these are scripts,

that this studio would like to do

with that star over there.

The one smelling his own bottom.

I'm attached to produce. You're the trainer.

Everybody wins, unless you rock the boat.

So look at it like this.

Don't screw up. Train Beethoven,

and let that dog put us on the front page of "Variety," okay?

- Okay. - Okay.

Hey, honey. Whenever you have a minute.

Take your time. He's gorgeous.

Thanks.

What are you smiling at?

When's my next appointment?

Patricia: Quit it.

No, no, no. Just...

Hello, Beethoven, where are you?

May I help you?

Sal?

No habla ingles.

Sal, I know it's you.

Well, of course it's me. I'm joking, obviously.

What are you doing here?

What am I doing here?

Hey pal, I got a pass. I work here...

on the incredibly popular "Animals Gone Wild."

We shoot right over here, on the main stage on the lot.

That is what I'm doing here.

I meant what are you doing here,

spying on my dog?

Oh, that.

That. Oh, just came by to say hello.

Hello. I came by to see the big fella.

How you doing? Beethoven. He's beautiful.

Look at that big fella. Come to Daddy, come to Daddy.

Get that beast away from me.

I don't think he likes you very much, Sal.

Hey, good luck with your new job.

I sure am enjoying your old one.

Come on, boy, come on.

He's a bad man, but you're a good boy.

You're a good boy!

Eddie: All right.

Now listen to me.

I want you to roll over, you understand? Come on.

No, no, no. Come back.

Roll! Roll over.

They're kind of dorky, aren't they?

- Uh, actually... - Eddie: Listen to me.

- ...yeah. - Now, now, just...

But in a good way.

Sit, come, come on!

My dad said you really don't like Beethoven,

that you would prefer

a "Bay-rese Frise"?

- Bichon Frise. - Oh.

How would your dad know what I prefer?

Well, he says you're more brainy and refined,

and meant for bigger things.

Bigger than what?

Us, I guess.

I wouldn't be so sure.

He said you were pretty too.

Oh, he did, did he?

Sit. No, no.

No.

But you are.

Thank you, Billy.

I think you're teaching my dad how to be more brainy and refined.

- Oh. - Whoa.

Oh!

But it's... it's not easy.

Oh.

Stanley: Scrap 52-A.

We'll knock that out and call it a day.

All right, quiet, people. I hear way too much talking.

You want to have fun, go to the dentist.

So what does our beautiful Beethoven

have in store for us today?

Well, in this scene,

Beethoven tiptoes into the dining room,

and when the family's not looking,

He gingerly steals a shrimp off the dad's plate.

That's it?

- Uh... - No, no, he steals the shrimp,

and then, it's...

it's... it's funny.

He leaves some slobber on the plate.

Isn't that the same beat we played yesterday with the bacon?

It's a callback. Rule of threes?

Patricia on PA: Hey!

Hey, get to work down there. Get to work.

Lunch is in five minutes. I want the scene in a can.

- Okay, let's see what happens.

All right, places, people, let's do this. Quiet, quiet.

Okay, Beethoven, just like we practiced.

When the dad looks away,

you just tiptoe in,

and you grab that shrimp. You got it?

Is he slobbery enough?

Yeah.

Okay, people, let's get this right.

Quiet, we are working with dogs.

Okay, buddy, just stay calm.

Wait for it, wait for it.

And, roll sound.

- Speed. - Stanley's Assistant: Camera.

Set.

And action.

Right, buddy, now go.

Action.

Wait, what... what happened to the tiptoe?

- Oh! - Oh.

Eddie: Heel! No, stop!

Stop! Heel, no!

Stop!

Oh.

- Oh. - Oh.

Cut, print!

That is what I'm talking about.

That's a trailer moment.

Stanley: Give it up...

...for my superstar Beethoven

and his genius trainer.

Whoo!

♪ Hey ♪

♪ I used to think maybe you loved me

♪ Now baby, I'm sure ♪

♪ I just can't wait till the day ♪

♪ - When you knock on my door - Hey! ♪

♪ Now every time I go for the mailbox ♪

♪ Gotta hold myself down ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't wait till you write me

♪ You're coming around... ♪

♪ - No. - I'm walking on sunshine

♪ Whoa-oh... ♪

♪ - Don't... no! - I'm walking on sunshine

♪ Whoa-oh... ♪

♪ - Noo! - I'm walking on sunshine

♪ Whoa-oh

♪ And don't it feel good?

♪ Hey, all right now

♪ And don't it feel good?

♪ Hey, all right now ♪

♪ I used to think maybe you loved me ♪

♪ Now I know that it's true ♪

♪ I don't want to spend my whole life

♪ Just waiting for you ♪

♪ Now I don't want you back for the weekend

♪ Not back for a day

♪ No, no, no ♪

♪ I said, baby I just want you back ♪

♪ And I want you to stay ♪

♪ I'm walking on sunshine

♪ Whoa-oh

♪ I'm walking on sunshine ♪

♪ - Whoa-oh - Roll over. ♪

♪ - I'm walking on sunshine - Roll over!

♪ Whoa-oh

♪ And don't it feel good?

♪ Hey, all right now

♪ And don't it feel good?

♪ Hey, all right now

♪ Walking on sunshine

♪ Walking on sunshine ♪

♪ I feel alive, I feel the love ♪

♪ I feel the love that's really real ♪

♪ I feel alive, I feel the love ♪

♪ I feel the love that's really real ♪

♪ I feel alive, I feel the love ♪

♪ I feel the love that's really real ♪

♪ I feel alive, I feel the love ♪

♪ I feel the love that's really real ♪

♪ I feel alive, I feel the love ♪

♪ I feel the love that's really real ♪

♪ I feel alive, I feel the love ♪

♪ I feel the love that's really real ♪

♪ I feel alive, I feel the love ♪

♪ I feel the love that's really real ♪

♪ - - I feel alive, I feel the love ♪

♪ I feel the love that's really real... ♪

♪ - Oh, God! - Walking on sunshine... ♪

♪ - Really? - Whoa-oh ♪

♪ - Oh. - I'm walking on sunshine ♪

♪ - That... that is just wrong. - Whoa-oh ♪

♪ - I'm walking on sunshine

♪ - Aww! - Whoa-oh-oh

♪ And don't it feel good?

♪ Hey, all right now

♪ And don't it feel good. ♪

I like the whole shoe-slash-sandal thing

you got going on there. Very trendy.

I don't get it.

That dog is smart.

At least, I think he's smart.

He finds a way to sneak into my bed every night,

but he won't roll over. What is that?

Well, it seems like what he's doing is working, right?

I mean, the studio certainly seems happy.

I'm an animal trainer.

I don't let them just run wild

and do whatever they want to do,

and then take the credit for it.

Lisa: Why does he have that leash on?

Oh, he keeps chewing through them. He hates wearing it,

but he's going to keep wearing it until he accepts it.

Isn't that right, boy?

Let me ask you something. Is this...

is this what you wanted to do with your life?

I want to tell stories that move people, that make a difference.

You probably do tell good stories.

- You're a real good talker. - Oh, really?

- Really. - Oh.

Yeah, I'm told I'm also

brainy and refined.

And pretty.

Well...

I'd better get back to roll-over school.

- Ah. - Oh!

No!

- Eddie: No! Heel, heel! - Lisa: Beethoven, stop!

Eddie: Stop, Beethoven!

Doggie, doggie, stop!

Eddie: Oh! Stop!

Stop! No!

Eddie: Whoa! No!

Oh!

Eddie: Oh, boy.

That's going in the movie.

Glad I could help.

Maybe he's just stupid.

There's no stupid dogs, Eddie.

But you don't understand.

Nobody understands.

This dog is off his rails.

And no amount of whispering

is going to bring him under control.

We must learn what Beethoven wants.

What he wants?

What Beethoven want... all he wants is food.

Oh, oh, food, food.

You see that? You see that face?

- That's all he cares about. - That's not true.

He cares about us.

Listen, the producer says I have to take it from this nut.

I do not have to take it from you, young man.

Billy is right. Beethoven cares about you.

He longs for you to welcome him into your pack.

My pack?

- Your family. - Whoa, whoa, hold on.

He is not part of our pack.

I mean, he's not part of our family.

My family is not a pack.

Three puppies, a kid, and a father.

That's a pack, Dad.

Would you just do your homework?

Look at your pack. They want you to lead.

I am an animal trainer.

I'm not a pack leader, this isn't a pack,

and Beethoven, I'm sorry,

but this is just a movie, and you are just a prop.

All I can say, it's never the dog.

Billy: Yeah, it's never the dog, Dad.

Lisa: Hey, Eddie.

Eddie. Remember how funny it was

when Beethoven and the puppies ate all your shoes?

Vividly.

I just added it to the movie. It's hilarious.

It's not hilarious. It's really annoying,

and I wish that you would just stop using moments in my life

where that dog makes me miserable and...

and just putting it in your movie.

- But it's funny. - It's not funny.

- It's not funny to me. - What's the matter with you?

That... that dog, he doesn't listen.

He doesn't do what he's told. He wrecks everything,

and then he gets praised for it.

You know, yesterday, I tried to teach him to roll over

for four hours, just to roll over,

and he won't do it.

He misbehaves, you put it in the script.

He's just a dumb dog.

He's more than that, and you know it.

Oh. He's got you fooled too.

You call yourself a writer?

All you do is you follow him around

and write down the messes that he makes.

Wow.

He doesn't have me fooled.

He's made this movie better.

And I'm following him around

because Beethoven's got something that people like,

something they want to see.

He's got heart.

Something you could really use.

Ah, so I'm the bad guy now?

Really? Me?

It's okay, Beethoven.

He doesn't mean it.

Eddie: Hey, Billy.

Billy: Yeah, Dad?

Billy, I need some help with this.

Where's the dog? I have to train him

for this new scene we're shooting tomorrow.

Listen. "Beethoven walks into the room,

carrying George Newton's slippers,

drops them at his feet, lies down by the couch,

and sweetly rests his head on the rug."

Come on. Beethoven is never going to do that.

Both: Whoa.

Lisa is scary good.

She wrote exactly what just happened.

She is pretty good, isn't she?

Eddie: You really love that dog, huh?

Not as much as I love you, Dad.

Aw, that's my boy.

Eddie: Hey, Pete.

So they're not going to need Beethoven for a couple hours,

if you guys just want to hang out in the trailer.

Cool. Later, Dad.

Hear that, Beethoven?

We have two hours. Let's go to the park.

You know that reading the dictionary doesn't make you look smart.

"Famous.

To be known far and wide;

Popular, beloved."

- So? - Excuse me, Mr. Criminal Mastermind,

but it might be a tad problematic

to kidnap a famous dog

in the middle of a studio lot in broad daylight, Bones.

Look, look.

Bones: They're leaving the lot.

"Luck. Success from total chance."

Bones: How about looking up "moron"?

- See you later, Billy. - See you, Zoe. Bye, Charlie.

Eddie: You're going to break that thing.

You getting some work done?

Don't you have some other writer's spirit to crush or something?

You know,

when I was 10,

I had a dog...

Red.

- Red? - Yeah, he was an Irish setter.

Red. Creative, huh.

He was a good dog.

A little like Beethoven, actually...

Ate a lot, was messy.

Anyway, I came home from school one day,

and Red was gone. He'd run away.

- Oh. - For a year, I looked for him.

Every night, I waited.

I loved that dog.

He was my best friend.

But he... he left.

Couldn't find him. I couldn't help him.

It's not your fault he ran away.

It is. You get a dog,

and you love it,

and it runs away.

And you build a life,

and you grow a family,

and...

then one day everything you thought you had

just disappears.

What was her name?

Julie.

She was a great mom.

I'm afraid I'm just a sorry substitute.

No, that's not what I see.

I see a dad who's working his butt off for his kid.

The only thing that dad needs to learn

is that he can't go through life

without giving his love to friends.

Eddie, Beethoven's part of your family now.

He's not going anywhere.

Neither am I.

Lizard Guy. Lizard Guy.

Boy, I'm glad that nickname caught on.

Where's Beethoven? We can't find Beethoven anywhere.

What? Billy!

- Billy! - Billy's gone too?

- Eddie: His skateboard's gone. - Lisa: Where could they be?

I think I know. Come on.

Billy: There she is.

Pretty cute, huh?

Wait.

We can't go over there.

She likes that guy.

Why would she want to talk to me?

♪ ...than an limousine ♪

♪ Can you handle the curves ♪

♪ Can you run all the lights ♪

♪ - If you can... - Whoa. ♪

Beethoven, what are you doing?

♪ From zero to 60 ♪

♪ - In 3.5 - Billy: Whoa!

♪ You've got the keys ♪

♪ Now shut up and drive, drive... ♪

♪ - ...drive, drive...

♪ Shut up and drive ♪

Thanks, boy. Thanks. Good boy.

♪ Drive, drive, drive, drive... ♪

Yo, that was ripping. Both you, and your cool dog.

Oh, hi.

- I'm Katie. - I know. I'm Billy.

I know.

What's she talking to that lollipop for?

Oh, gross!

Look what your stupid dog did. Ew!

Girl: That was cool.

Feeling woozy?

He means, are you feeling, perhaps,

lightheaded or off-balance,

as though you might collapse?

Bones: Come on, help me.

So, you want to grab a soda, or... what's the matter?

- Where's my dog? - Um...

Beethoven. Come on!

I'm doing... I'm doing all the work here. Pick it up!

Billy: Beethoven!

Eddie: Hey, Billy.

He skateboards here with his friends.

Eddie: Billy. Beethoven.

- Bones: Hello. - Tick: Hello.

- That was close. - Run, run!

- Eddie: Here boy. Billy. - Lisa: Beethoven.

Billy: Beethoven!

Beethoven! Come here, boy!

Lift with your legs, Bones, with your...

- You okay? Who's this? - I'm Billy's friend Katie.

- Where's Beethoven? - We can't find him.

- What? - He's gone.

- Gone? - What do you mean, he's gone?

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

- Billy: Beethoven! - Eddie: Hey!

- Billy: Stop! - Lisa: Beethoven!

Eddie: Hey!

Frizzy, quiet.

- We need tranquilizer! - What we put on that pizza

- would knock out a Clydesdale! - Help, get it, help, help!

Help, help!

- Bones. - Give it to me!

- Billy: Hey, Beethoven! - The Lizard Guy's coming.

Hey!

Breathe.

Breathe deep, breathe. Yeah.

Hey, you've got our dog!

Beethoven, Beethoven!

Oh.

- What? - We think Beethoven's been dognapped.

Patricia: He's right. I got the ransom note right here.

It was just found taped to the door of Beethoven's trailer.

Stanley: Well, what does it say? Read it.

"Hollywood Bigwigs,

You will pay $1,000,000

or the beast known as Beethoven will be destroyed.

Instructions to follow."

- Destroyed? - Poor Beethoven.

Sal: The slobbering beast awakens.

Oh, you remember me.

Well, I remember you too.

You're the dumb animal that made me look like a buffoon,

that cost me my job.

Well...

Welcome to the counter-offensive.

Now everybody else is running around, looking like fools.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh.

Rope got your tongue?

Choose your last meal, stupid mutt.

Billy: What are we going to do?

Okay, the answer is character-based.

Who would do something like this?

Okay, somebody who has access to the lot,

so they could tape the ransom note on the trailer door.

Someone with a place to hide

a big, noisy dog like Beethoven.

Somebody who's got a grudge against the studio.

- Hmm. - Or the movie.

Or me.

And someone who hates Beethoven.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Lisa, what exactly did the ransom note say, exactly?

Um... "Hollywood Bigwigs,

you will pay $1,000,000,

- or the beast known as Beethoven"- - - Beast.

He called him a beast.

I know who kidnapped Beethoven.

Sal the animal trainer?

Do you have evidence of this?

- He called Beethoven a beast. - He's a real jerk.

Look, I've produced enough cop shows to know that's not evidence.

It's at least worth checking out.

Could you just update the police about our theory?

The police don't know anything about this,

and I don't see any reason why they should.

- What? - You didn't call the police?

We don't need the negative publicity of a missing star.

We got enough footage of Beethoven to finish the film.

After we wrap, we call the police,

tell the press we finished the film before the dognapping.

It's a win-win.

Except for the fact that they might kill Beethoven.

Oh, come on. Who's going to hurt that dog?

He's charming, he's got star quality.

The dog'll be fine.

Anything happens to our dog,

and we're holding you accountable.

Really? Well, who do you think you are?

Lady, I am done listening to you talk.

You're not worthy of Beethoven.

Come on, guys, let's go find our friend.

That was awesome, Dad.

Lizard trainer. Ugh.

Eddie: Well, this is it.

Lisa: Wow, it really is creepy at night.

- - Shh. Billy, try and keep them quiet.

What's the matter, guys?

I think they can smell Beethoven.

You guys stay here, okay?

I'm going in.

- Oh! Shh shh shh! - Oh! Shh shh shh!

You scared me to death.

You? I think I had a little heart attack.

What are you even doing here? I told you to stay at the car.

- Cart. - What?

You said car. It's a cart, a golf cart.

Who cares? Please would you just go back to the cart?

No. This is the climax.

If you think I've been working this hard to miss

the climax of Beethoven's story, you're crazy.

Lisa, this isn't some script, okay?

- This is real life. - All right, then,

I'm here to protect you.

- Protect me? - Yes.

I don't want you to get hurt. I like you.

Oh? Yeah?

Yeah.

So what's the plan?

I have no idea.

But there's a backstage door. Let's start there.

Sounds good.

Hey, hey. I'd better go first, okay?

Okay.

Lisa: Ooh!

- Sorry. - You okay?

Tick: ...be that way.

Oh, what's the matter?

You want an apology?

Fine, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that big, silly dog got all the attention.

Okay, okay?

Okay, we're okay. We're okay.

Hey, that's Fuzzy.

- Frizzy. - Tick: We're going to be okay.

Look at us, fighting all the time

like Ike and Tina.

Tick: Who's there?

I know you're in here.

I can smell your fear.

Huh. I guess I must be getting a little edgy.

Bones: Tick, Tick, come on.

We're making the ransom call.

All right, come on, Frizzy.

Let's begin our life of leisure.

Yes, yes...

Good doggie.

Oh, that was close.

That's the guy I saw driving the van. Beethoven is here some place.

- You got to go call the police. - Let's both go.

No, there's no time. They're going to make the ransom call now.

If Patricia doesn't pay it, who knows what they're gonna do to Beethoven.

I'm going to stay here, make sure nothing happens to him,

but you got to go get help.

- But... - No buts. Go get help.

Do it for Beethoven.

- Be careful. - Um... okay.

- Wow. - Wow.

Okay, you listen up to me, Miss Producer Lady.

We want $1,000,000 in cash

put in a large sack,

and taken to the corner of...

What? Yeah, what...

Go on. Uh-huh.

Au contraire.

I think it is very reasonable.

Beethoven is going to be a big, big star

Sal: Well, actually, I think I do know

a lot about the movie business, Miss Producer Lady.

That's not a very nice thing to say.

That's downright nasty.

You'd better take that back right now,

or your beloved Beethoven will be mincemeat.

What? What'd you call me?

Sal?

Uh, me no know no Sal.

No, Sal who?

I don't know who you're talking about...

Hello?

Hello?

What did she say?

She hung up on me.

And I think she knew it was me.

Well, that's not good.

- So when do we get our money? - Will you shut up about the money?

- Who cares about the money? - Me.

I am going to teach them what it means

to disrespect Sal DeMarco. You get it?

Bring me Beethoven.

♪ And then it's... Lullaby

♪ And good night ♪

♪ Little puppy dog, go to heaven. ♪

Yeah, bring me that big bucket of rabies!

Now!

Bones: Forget about the money?

Forget about the money? What's going on?

I fear the boss is becoming unhinged.

What does that mean?

It's like woozy, but with more energy,

and a mean streak, in the middle.

Oh.

Billy, we need to get the police.

Billy? Billy!

- Thought I should get some help. - Good job, Billy.

- Where is he? - This way.

Move out, guys. Hurry up.

Come on, you mutt. Let's go.

He's a pure St. Bernard.

Sal: Dead dog walking.

Good night, sweet pestilence,

and may flights of angels

sing thee to thy rest.

It's the final curtain call for you, Beethoven.

But I want you to think of me when you frolic

in that big dog park in the sky.

This shouldn't hurt.

Beethoven!

Roll over!

Eddie: Roll over, Beethoven!

Tick: Oh, my spleen, ow.

Hey! You did it, you did it.

You rolled over. I knew you could do it.

Are you okay, huh? Those bad men didn't hurt you?

How touching. Man and beast together again.

- Tick: Ow. - Bones: Ow, my nose.

- Bones: Ah, that hurts. - Tick: Where's my Frizzy? She needs me.

- Bones: Oh, too much pressure. - Oh, shut up, you babies.

Sal, it's over.

The police are on the way.

It's not over until I say it's over.

I concede. I have lost this battle,

but I warn you... keep on your guard,

because, when you least expect it...

expect it...

Sal DeMarco will be there!

Toodle-oo.

Hey. Ouchie, let go.

Get off of me... pipsqueak.

You hairball!

What... what are you...

Sal: Come on, I've got you.

Come here, boy. Come here, boy, come on.

Uh-oh.

Whoo. Oh!

Sal: Ow, ow, ow, it hurts.

Stop, stop.

Come on, come boy.

Come on.

Listen to me, doggie!

Stop, dog! No, stop, dog!

- Eddie: Good boy. - Sal: Thank you, thank you everyone.

Ow! Ow, ow, ow.

That hurt... Oh!

Good boy.

Sal: The beast was to blame, not me.

Beethoven, I will get you.

My vengeance will be the terrors of the earth.

Ow. Ow, this hurts, this hurts.

Captain: Oh, shut up.

Dad, you saved Beethoven.

Eddie: No, we both saved him.

You and I, we're a pack, right?

Right.

He sure seems happy to see them.

He's a good dad.

- So are you. - Well, I'm working on it.

Hey, do you want to join the pack

for some dinner tonight?

Frozen bachelor food with the Lizard Guy?

What, not refined or brainy enough?

Actually...

it sounds pretty perfect.

Good.

What is it, puppies?

Oh, guys, will you give me a hand with this?

Cop: Yeah, sure. Come on, Jimmy.

How you doing down there?

Officers, thank God you're here.

Oh, man. Who called the cops?

- We are not together. - What?

- We are not a couple. - Let's go.

Oh.

Wait for me, Frizzy.

Man, my mommy's going to kill me.

Cop: She's not going to worry...

Cop: All right, men, we're done here.

- Let's move out. - Well, guys...

Let's get out of here.

Wait, where's Pete?

Pete?

- No, Beethoven! - Beethoven, come back!

Beethoven, hey!

No!

Eddie: No, no.

Eddie: Can't see.

- Whoa! - Oh!

Ah, oh.

Oops.

- We should probably go now. - Both: Yeah.

- Come on. - Come here.

You think anyone will notice that?

Oh.

Oh!

Good boy.

♪ I like all dogs ♪

♪ But I love Beethoven ♪

♪ Gonna shout it out louder ♪

♪ He is there when you need him ♪

♪ I like all dogs ♪

♪ But I love Beethoven ♪

♪ Gonna shout it out louder ♪

♪ He is there when you need him ♪

♪ Ooh

♪ I like all dogs

♪ - But I love Beethoven - I love all dogs ♪

♪ - At the end of my rainbow - I love all dogs ♪

♪ Is a dog to believe in

♪ - I like all dogs

♪ - But I love Beethoven - I like all dogs ♪

♪ - Gonna shout it out louder - I love all dogs ♪

♪ He is there when you need him ♪

♪ Ooh

♪ I like all dogs

♪ - But I love Beethoven - I love dogs ♪

♪ - At the end of my rainbow - I love all dogs ♪

♪ Is a dog to believe in... ♪

♪ I like all dogs

♪ - But I love Beethoven - I love dogs ♪

♪ - Gonna shout it out louder - I love all dogs ♪

♪ He is there when you need him ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ I like all dogs

♪ - But I love Beethoven - I love all dogs ♪

♪ - At the end of my rainbow - I love all dogs ♪

♪ Is a dog to believe in. ♪