Original subtitles

My stepson is a mess in many senses of the word, and he doesn't even have a

girlfriend.

I can't believe the guy.

He should be married by now.

But luckily for him, he has a caring mom who knows exactly how to solve his

problem. But first things first, let's see his astro chart to help him find the

perfect candidate and...

What are you doing?

Well, I'm looking at your birth chart and I'm looking at the card.

And it's not looking good for you.

What do you mean?

What's not looking good for me?

Your romantic future.

When I married your father, I told him I would help him find you a nice girl. A

good woman.

And I don't see that in your future.

You don't even bring girls home.

I just, it's not time. I don't know.

I don't know what I'm going to do with you. It's not looking good.

It's not looking good. I'm looking at your chart.

The cards are not reading well for you. I'm just, I'm really concerned.

Well, what are we supposed to do?

Well, I mean, I'm going to try and do everything I can do to help you.

I do have to keep my word.

And, well, I'm going to get to the bottom of this.

I'm going to see why you can't get a girl.

I don't know if you're just, like, lacking the swag to pull a chick.

I don't know what's going on here, but rest assured, I'm going to help you.

Look, the cards just aren't in your favor.

I mean, I can't be a lost cause, right? Like, I got some swag. You know, maybe I

just haven't met the right girl. Just hasn't been the right line.

I mean, I guess.

But, you know, I'm going to help you.

We're going to do this together.

I'm going to teach you how to get a girl.

So, okay, do this.

Give me your best pickup line.

Let me hear it.

Hey, girl.

Did it hurt when you fell from the sky?

No,

you don't want to use that one.

How many times does that work for you?

None.

Exactly.

Is that all you got?

Yeah.

God, this is worse than I thought.

All right, sit down.

I'm going to help you.

I'm going to teach you how to pick up women.

How to pull chicks and maybe get them in bed and maybe satisfy them.

Uh, you're my stepmom. Why would you do that?

I know I'm your stepmom. Don't make it weird. I'm your stepmom.

Come on. Here.

Alright, so.

What are you doing?

Are you scared?

Do women scare you?

Is that why you... haven't had a girlfriend the whole time?

Oh, it's all making sense now.

You're scared of women.

Oh, man.

I've got my work cut out for me.

Um, what?

Are you telling me no?

Yeah, no, stop.

Don't be a loser.

These are jet pits.

That's what everybody calls me at school. A loser. You're not helping.

Well, listen.

After you tell them you got laid and you held some real titties, they're not

going to call you a loser anymore.

You've never seen boobs before?

Or you've never seen boobs this big before?

I don't want to see my stepmom's boobs.

Too late.

We're already here, so come on, touch them.

I'm not going to touch them. Oh, God, come on, give me your hands.

Jeez, stop acting like you're scared of them. God.

Yeah, that's it? What else are you going to do?

Okay.

Like, rub them gently, nicely.

Jeez.

Like, okay, better.

Not too bad.

Okay. Yeah, we like it when it, you know, when you jiggle them around and

squeeze them a bit.

Mm -hmm. Play with the nipples.

Don't squeeze them like sandbags.

Oh, gosh.

There you go.

Mm -hmm.

Oh, that's nice.

Oh, how's that making you feel?

I mean, it feels good, but it also still feels weird.

Oh, get over it.

Of course it's going to feel weird. It's your first time feeling real tits on a

real woman.

Yeah. Do you like that?

Yeah? There you go. That feels nice.

Your hands are so soft.

Yeah.

Just like that.

Play with them. Yeah, have some fun. Go ahead.

There you go.

Yeah.

That's nice.

You know, women love when you play with their titties and squeeze them and maybe

even do a little nipple licking every now and then.

Yeah.

Yeah.

really get their pussy going.

You do know what a pussy is, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

You want to show me where it is?

Uh... Oh, well, there's that still up here. Jeez.

Do you know where the pussy is?

Right here?

Yeah, there you go.

See? Not too bad.

Right?

Very good.

You're doing such a good job.

Yes.

I'm actually rather surprised.

You're catching on pretty well.

Do something with those fingers.

There you go.

That's a lot better.

Yeah. See, the whole point, honey, is you want the girl.

to want to take off her clothes for you.

Okay?

So, if you make her feel good, you better your chances of

getting her naked.

I look at your ass all the time.

What was that?

Nothing. Oh.

I mean, it's just a mask.

Did you want to touch it?

Gosh, you act like you're so scared. It's not going to bite you.

There you go.

Good.

That's nice.

Well, you're getting better, I guess.

I mean, for now.

You know, sometimes you just want to smack it a little.

Well, that's weak. You'll need a little practice on that. But, okay, that's

enough.

Well, not bad.

I didn't say that was too bad for your first time.

But,

listen,

I've got to go take care of some things.

I'm going to leave you here with your birth chart, okay?

Study this.

Study it front and back. Do you hear me?

No page unturned. I want you to study this.

Because we have to make sure you get a girl.

You can't be living in my house your whole life.

Okay.

Hey, Mom.

Oh, hey.

What do you need?

Listen.

Your fashion is really not doing it for me or, like, any other girl for that

matter. So I need you.

Yeah, I'm going to measure you because these jeans are kind of not it. I know

you think that they look good, but I don't think they look good at all. I

I think they're pretty in, but.

I know, but how much pussy have you gotten into?

Fair point.

Okay. So, yeah.

You know, your fashion sense kind of sucks, but luckily you have me.

So I'm going to help you.

Yeah. I'm going to just take the measurements here.

Yep. All right. Now listen, I'm going to have them real quick and then... Whoa,

whoa. What are you doing?

Where's your underwear?

I don't have any.

You're not wearing any underwear?

No, it just feels more comfortable.

You're just out here free -balling it in the world? No girls, though, huh?

Weird. Um, oh.

Well.

I haven't seen this before.

Um, well, I understand why your jeans aren't really fitting that well.

Hmm. What are you doing?

Oh, I'm just getting the appropriate measurement so I can take these jeans in

for you.

Oh.

Yeah. Well.

Hmm.

I mean.

It feels a little sensitive.

Is it?

What are you doing?

I'm going to show you.

Girls love to... to give hand jobs.

If you have the best stepmom, I'm gonna teach you exactly what

they should feel like so you know if you've found the right woman.

Mm -hmm.

Yep.

Doesn't it?

Yes.

There you go.

You like that?

Yeah.

It's not bad, right? I mean... Sometimes

you just need a little extra lube.

Makes things feel a lot better.

harder yeah I can't help it it feels

so good

Is this part of the lesson?

Yeah.

It's an integral part of the lesson, don't you agree?

Yeah. So necessary.

Oh yeah.

That's it.

Yeah, such a nice dick. I wasn't expecting all of this.

Much nicer than your dad.

Do you feel the difference in that?

Yeah. Yeah?

Throat lube is much better than bottle lube.

Is it okay if I grab your head while you do this? Sure.

I like the initiative. Take control.

She's not sucking it like this. She doesn't deserve you.

Oh my god.

Oh my god, I'm such a freak.

Oh god, this speed's jacking off.

I can't believe it.

This feels so good.

Isn't it?

Oh, fuck.

Oh,

fuck. Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Nope.

Hands off.

You can't come yet.

right now. Why not?

Because I've got a surprise for you.

A surprise?

Yeah. Another one?

Yes.

Mom set you up on a date.

A date? Yeah, you've got a date with a real girl.

So, come on. Get your clothes back on. Go clean up.

Get yourself ready.

This is just like pre -gaming.

Alright.

Go get cleaned up for your date.

Okay.

I'll see you when you get out of the shower.

Okay. I guess I'll see you in a little bit.

Okay.

Hey, Mom.

I'm ready for my date.

Hey. How do I look?

You look a lot better than you did earlier.

Are you nervous?

A little.

It's completely normal. Come.

Come have a seat.

Come have a seat. Let's see.

Let's see.

I understand your feelings right now. I know that you're a little nervous.

You're a little apprehensive.

But honey, that's okay.

That's completely normal.

But see, the thing is, well,

girls don't like it when you come too early.

So I don't want you to be.

I don't want you to be, like, out before you're even in, you know?

I mean, yeah.

What are you trying to say?

Well, I can tell you're a little tense, and I can't send you out of the house

like that.

So we're going to have to ease some of that tension.

And, you know, to put it simply, I think I'm going to have to drain your balls

before I send you out to the world.

You're going to have to drain my balls?

I don't... I need that for the girl, though.

Oh, honey, you're going to have a lot for the girl.

You're going to have a lot left for her. Trust me.

You'll be good for more than one pop tonight. But first, we have to get the

first one out. See? Because if not, you're going to be too nervous. You're

to ruin the whole experience for both you and her.

And you don't want to do that, right?

No.

Exactly.

You want to make sure you've got enough dick for her that she can come too.

Oh, okay.

I'm going to have to make that.

Yeah.

So here's what you're going to do.

I'm going to take this off for you.

Oh, okay.

All right.

You're going to get behind me.

Okay, yeah, I don't I don't know get your ass over here stop

being scared

Yep.

I imagine this view.

got better.

I love this position right here.

Don't you?

I love watching penetration.

This is a great position for that.

we'll go have a good time and you know now that your balls are empty you're

about to have a great night honey