Original subtitles

Whoa, greetings from Tromaville and welcome to the lovingly recreated,

remastered, director's cut DVD of that incredible movie, Coming Out. Yes,

Out is the true story of an anonymous Jewish filmmaker who discovers the homo

within as he's directing that Tromasterpiece, Poultry Geist, directed

Kaufman. Now, I'm not going to tell you who that anonymous Jewish filmmaker is,

but man, do I like a penis gondola shoved up my chocolate canal, huh? What?

Lloyd? The movie's called Acting Out, not Coming Out, and it has nothing to do

with you having sex with men.

Oh, of course, of course not. And besides, I love my beard. I mean, my

Hey, how about some football, man? Hey, Toxie, let's go do some fag -bashing,

huh? What is Acting Out about? I bet it's about some really hot bitches,

It is hot. It's directed by Oscar winner Ralph Rosenblum and Carl Gurvich, the

Jewish Mitchell brothers, but they didn't murder each other. Ralph

got the Oscar for Woody Allen's Annie Hall, right?

Ralph Rosenblum also edited Troma Stuck on You, available at www .troma .com.

Well, tell me, Dispepsio, tell me a little more about what is Acting Out

about? It's about regular, everyday people talking about their sexual

and acting them out on film. Wow, you mean just regular fantasies, like orgies

full of young, hairless Asian boys, anonymous sex at Route 47 rest stops

gruff men named Tino and Chewy? Normal fantasies like that?

Well, yes, Lloyd.

And I'm here to be like the actors in the film.

I'm going to help you act out your deepest, darkest sexual fantasy.

Okay.

How about you rub my balls?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, you like that.

Stop it. I want you to take my package, and I want you to beat my meat.

Oh, you like that, don't you?

Oh, yeah.

You dirty, dirty boy.

Oh, take it.

You toss my salad. You hear me? You toss my salad.

Oh, wow.

Yeah. Oh, I'm coming. I'm acting out and I'm coming.

That was real balsamic.

Okay, this Pepsi. Let me fondle those incredible big white milk jugs. I want

fondle them and see if I can get some real vitamin D. Hurry up.

Give me the jugs.

Oh, I love it when you play with my jugs. Oh, God, yeah.

Oh, that's even better.

Oh, yeah, that was good. That was good.

Is there anything else I can do for you, Lloyd?

Yes, there is, Super Tromethyspepsia. I would like to insert my penis into your

hot, throbbing vagina.

What?

Acting out your crazy sexual fantasies in front of the world is one thing, but

sexual harassment is against the law.

ass, Kaufman.

No, no, wait, wait. How am I going to explain all this missing food to my

I mean, my wife. Well, at any rate, get ready to enjoy the digitally remastered,

lovingly recreated, director's cut version of Ralph Rosenblum and Carl

Acting Out.

Oh, my, oh, my, let's watch.

Some time ago, a group of filmmakers decided to see if sexual fantasies could

put on the screen in a way that would be both dramatically interesting and

tastefully erotic. The producers placed advertisements in newspapers and

national magazines, questioned people at random on the street, and held public

and private interviews.

It was decided that the fantasies should star the people whose imaginations

created them.

People who, for one reason or another, wouldn't mind interrupting the ordinary

course of their lives in order to turn fancy into moments of photographed fact.

Well, offhand, my sexual fantasy would be to see Raquel Welch and King Kong

in a sexual relationship.

I'd want to start it.

Well, that's good. You could start it.

I have a fantasy of going around Manhattan with just my coat on and no

underneath. That's a secret fantasy.

The kinky part is that they're all eating salad, and they use a certain

salad dressing. Can I say this? Sure, anything you like. Well, they use fresh

salmon. as their salad dressing. Well, how do they get it? They have to

it themselves from the waiter.

Oh, well, I don't think I'll be able to be in the film because I'm leaving town

the end of this week.

Well, could you tell us what your fantasy would be?

You're leaving town?

Yeah. I'm going to be leaving town because I'm going on this trucking trip.

I'm going to be driving a tractor trailer for about six months.

Fireman.

Fireman? Fireman. Fireman. For some reason, it passed.

One fireman. For the past three months, for some reason, they turned me on. My

big thing is to make love to my own image in a woman.

To make love to your own image in a woman. That's right. A woman that will

own image.

In other words, it looks just like you. Exactly.

Sex is something that should be explored. Right.

You know, it's still a pioneer's field.

During the weeks of interviewing, it became apparent that a great lack of

inhibition was abroad in America, and that a wide variety of people would, if

given the opportunity, step in front of a camera and act out their most intimate

sexual dreams.

Those who were anxious to appear in such a movie were invited to a private club

in New York, where an audition of their sexual fantasies took place.

And a final selection was made.

My fantasy.

My fantasy is.

My sexual fantasy.

My fantasy begins.

My fantasy is. My fantasy is being dominated by women.

Is that it? Well, here we are in the locker room.

I don't know what else to say, but welcome to That's Hollywood.

I would like to be ravaged by a woman right now, if it can be arranged, which

probably will be.

And I'm a loss for words right now.

I would really like to see a couple make love, you know, if I could be involved

in a couple making love in a weightlessness situation, which would be

of thing to where you have two people in a weightlessness situation.

To where it's just interaction between the two couples. There's no bed.

There's no outside influences.

There aren't any sounds at all. It's just totally the pushing and pulling

between me or, you know, whoever is acting out the part and the other

I don't know. Maybe I fantasize about her being tied down, you know.

I saw a movie the other night with lipstick.

Something that was on cable TV.

And the girl was tied down to the bed. The guy tied her down, you know.

And I'm not saying that that's what I would like to do, but it's interesting,

you know.

Maybe I don't... I'll tell you, when I was a girl, it wanted me to do that

But I didn't have a rope.

It proved by no means an easy task to decide who should be chosen.

Many fine fantasies had to be rejected.

some because of the unique production problems they posed.

My fantasy is to have a great big castle rock home

with great big steeples sitting up on a big hill with

velvet drapes and plenty carpets,

great big ink -sized beds with satin.

to dress in leather, to be a sadist.

I like to have a black leather suit, a black leather whip.

And I would like to torture some of the people that have done me wrong.

I would like to give them the Indian torture, you know, and take them in the

desert and bury them.

alive with the prick sticking up and the red ants to eat it up.

And then there were those fantasies that we felt had been too carefully

contrived. Jesus, myself, and Mary Magdalene.

And there she is before him, her face upturned, tears on her face.

And now we have a cut to, remember the soldiers? Yes, the soldiers lusting

Mary Magdalene.

She, in her agony, trying to decide how to make this easier for her Lord.

And all of a sudden it comes to her.

As it were.

Tell us what comes to her.

The perfect way to ease his pain. Exactly.

He is coming, he is coming, he is coming soon.

And so, in fact, he does.

Others, though fascinating to listen to, were found to be a little too complex

to be put on film.

My fantasy basically is to embody the bringing together of the male -female

split into a single mood and a single person.

For most of my life, I have been feminine in relation to men and

relation to women.

then played variations on that, masculine with men and feminine with

until it got so complicated that the number of roles seemed beyond

my ability to control.

I'm at a point now where I think I can put the entire thing together in a

action. And what I want to do is to have one man and one woman

to work with to...

do various things with them, working faster and faster until it

reaches a point where it becomes obvious that what I have become is an empty

channel for what's flowing between the two of them and attaining a pure

androgynous state in that.

And some had to be abandoned for personal reasons.

Nancy Morgan, a mother and businesswoman, felt it would be unfair

to go any further with her fantasy than an extremely candid interview.

Most of my fantasy center around degradation.

I love to be degraded.

I like to have someone shit, you know, in front of me and play with it and

have to smear it on myself.

I like to pretend I'm tasting it and be whipped, you know, while I'm tasting

it. As if I'm really being made to taste it and I hate it.

I like to be pissed on.

I've only had one opportunity in my life to act out all these fantasies.

And more so, more than I've mentioned here to the extreme, it's with a person

love very much.

I've done it sort of superficially and less with other people. But it took me

many years to even bring up that I wanted to do them. And I felt that it

me to contact my...

Sex, myself, the person I love, other people that we've gotten involved with,

and it's made me, actually, I feel a lot healthier and a lot more capable of

really loving, aside from how bizarre and how... I find that with fantasies,

it's not... It's far less genital or cold for me than even standard, you

one -night stands or whatever, because when you expose yourself on this level,

you have to really trust another person.

Weeks later, those who were chosen would be taken far from the neighborhoods of

their daily lives out into a countryside of secret landscapes.

A magical manor, a soft, sloping hill, decorated with figures that have been

fashioned to suit a variety of whims and desires.

While one is here, everything is possible, and the most grotesque or

wish will be granted.

It was the job of the filmmakers to help people fulfill their fantasies. We

provided the details of people, place, and costume. But from then on, the

fantasies and fantasts were on their own.

To perform in the fantasies, a resident company of actors was assembled to serve

the imaginations of the film's amateur stars.

They accepted the fact that they would be called upon to be everything from

simple props of passion to embodiments of long -sought -after perfect lovers.

Most had been in erotic films before, but never when illusion and reality had

been so finely mixed.

How far are we to go with these people? In other words, I'm willing to do, you

know, if it's a sexual fantasy, I'm willing to have sex with someone.

But how far can I go with people's fantasies? In other words, where it

or could become abusive.

to myself physically or you know people are into weird things i mean they want

to line me up and shoot me i mean don't you think there could be some sort of

psychological harm done to the people when they realize that their fantasy

fantasy might have nurtured for so many years maybe all their life is a failure

doesn't work doesn't do anything for them might be a benefit is

when you work even in improvisation you're working with actors that are very

aware that what we're doing is illusion In other words, a certain kind of

professional attitude that you know, no matter what you're saying to the person

you're acting with, that it's illusion here.

Right. It's like a ballgame. You know, we know where we are.

We're playing.

The star of the first fantasy arrives.

She is Jeannie Joseph, a psychology student who has found her own special

fill in the duller moments of the classroom.

Like all those chosen for the film who will follow her, Jeannie will meet the

actors and see the setting of her fantasy for the first time when she

front of the cameras.

There have been no rehearsals, no script to study, and neither she nor the

filmmakers know what will really happen once her scene begins.

My fantasy is something I've been acting out actually in real life at school.

I'm very turned on to one of my teachers.

and he and I have this sort of thing that we play during class.

I sort of consider it psychic sex, you know, because we're having all these,

like, things going on between us that are really very sexual and very erotic,

even though we haven't had sex.

We're just having a lot of fun playing out the whole game.

Well, what's happening is that we're going into what I'm imagining is

in the class. Before that, it was... His imagination, and this is what I'm

thinking. So first we get a close -up of me, like, showing me, like, going off.

And this is what I do in my fantasy. This state is vested in 1 % of the

population.

And this 1 % of the population controls an undue influence on

me, on the government of that state.

Now, who's to say that a...

That a communistic state has to be

totalitarian.

Go on.

It can be democratic.

I mean, whereas a capitalistic state can be totalitarian.

It is not whether we're really against communism, but we should say that we're

against totalitarianism, because that's the real.

You know what I'm again?

Yeah,

I know what you're again.

Go on. Yeah.

Are you having trouble giving your lesson?

It's difficult.

It is. Is it getting harder?

It may be soon.

Now.

I think it's wonderful if we can all accept that we have a fantasy life and

that's not something to be hidden and, you know, kept in the closet and to feel

guilty about. I think it's a beautiful side of ourselves.

And bringing a fantasy out into the open and accepting it and, you know, even

acting it out leads it to change.

I thought about that one day. I sat myself down and I asked myself, what is

What is it that we all want? What are we looking for?

What I felt was that we want to feel that we're not separate people, that

not just individuals walking around and lonely and feeling like separate egos,

that we want to come together and feel that we can become close enough to the

point of actually merging.

That's, to me, the best sex. That's what I'm really interested in. I'm not

really interested in having lustful sex, except once in a while.

Most of my fantasies take place either while I'm making love or when I'm

masturbating.

And sometimes I have fantasies because I have trouble coming and they excite me

more and they make it easier to come.

And my favorite fantasy and the strangest thing about it is that it's

weirdest one I have and my closest friend had the same one.

I'm lying on like an operating table.

I don't know where it takes place.

And all these men are standing around me wearing dark suits.

You want to see how I react when you touch me, and you want to see what I

like, and you're sort of inspecting me.

I'm afraid of you, but you're not affected by that at all.

I don't know if I'm tied down, but I know I can't get away. Yeah, calm down.

they touch me in different places, and they watch me, and they watch my

response.

And there's one man who's in a wheelchair.

The girl being so rudely examined is Marsha Blau, a young writer who lives in

New York.

As the scene continued, she began to feel that her fantasy was becoming too

and that discomfort and fear were gradually eroding any erotic feelings

might have.

It was absolutely asexual.

Acting out of fantasy is not the same as having one. And having people be...

harsh and fantasy is actually soft and sensual whereas in real life it's not

difference between between keeping it in my head and doing it was that no one

could be what i would imagine them to be because they're figments of my

imagination no one could be that well i I like to

travel astrally, and the most fascinating thing that I find about it

people that are involved in my astral travels aren't aware of it, and they are

aware of the sensation, but as far as the physical body itself, they're not

aware of.

First, you gather up all the elements around you, the elements of the

from the trees, the grass, the sky, the wind itself, and you collect all of it,

and you get into chi.

and you unite your spirit with the elements and you travel naturally, you

the person, you hook on to their vibration and their spirit, and you flow

through the heavenly cosmic heavens.

Once the astral journey began, there was little to do except keep the camera on

Taji and wait for something dramatic to happen.

The wait turned out to be longer than expected, and we left Tassie for the

moment in order to return to more earthbound behavior.

You may be interested in why I'm appearing without my face.

I'm very interested in getting into this show naked, and I'm interested in

telling you my fantasy, but I thought this was going to be a porn movie, and I

have a family, and they might think it's unfair.

My wife knows about this.

Being in this picture, being in this interview, my children don't know a

about it.

And I worked at civil service, and I was quite straight.

And now that I've retired, I felt, gee, modern times, why not get into all the

act? So I've been out to the beach, and I'm going to tell you about what my

fantasy of sex is.

I went out to the beach at Brighton. No, I don't mean Brighton. I went out to

the beach.

I won't give the name, that they now have people dressing without any

And it's been very exciting and so on.

And my fantasy is that I'm out there and everybody's sitting there, some with

clothes, some without clothes, and I fall asleep.

And then I wake up and there's a young girl come over to me.

She's interested in tickling me. She's interested in having me have a party

her. And either we have the party on the beach or we have the party in her

place. And my fantasy goes on to all sorts of fun there.

Most of the fun is similar to what you've probably heard in other people's

fantasies. I'm 63, but you know, things don't change.

And I visualize this girl on the beach and the whole bunch of other girls on

beach and fellas too, everybody, getting into the act after this one girl starts

with me.

And I... See, at first she tickles me, and I'm waking up, and I'm still

and I had just been dreaming of having a wonderful time with a girl,

and she tickles me, and then I fondle her breasts, and she likes

it, and we kiss, we have a soul kiss, and then it just gets great.

And relying there.

And, geez, I can't tell you how, in my fantasy, it's just like when I was

14 years old and I had the first excitement. I didn't even know such a

could happen.

I was going to come here for the interview, and I was thrilled to have

interview.

So I wanted to explain more.

But when I came to doing it now, just a fantasy of yourself,

started in with a little thing. I saw it was going to be a fantasy, and I could

get into it. It sounded great.

I told my fantasy, and it was real.

It was sensuous, and it was great.

and then when i came out and did it everybody was such a help and it was

beautiful and i enjoyed it very much and now trying to think back and try to

think what effect i'm having on you my audience in this and uh the

part that i have in the whole big thing that all these wonderful people have

been working for weeks on just to have a movie for you i'm sort of stumped uh 20

years ago 30 years ago i would have liked to feel The way what I felt when I

doing it, that I was doing a beautiful act, and that this was something that

going to be enjoyed by the people as something beautiful, not as anything

in any way was taboo.

The liberation it took the gentleman in the last scene so long to achieve seems

to have come naturally to Andrea Cox, the happily married woman from

Michigan. who takes America's love of team sports, and football in particular,

to a literal conclusion.

My name is Andrea.

I'm a nurse. My husband wrote this. I've always fantasized filming my wife

making love with other men.

And my wife dreams of making it with several men simultaneously.

She even told me she'd like to make it with the New York Jets.

He thinks this is just beautiful. It's a very big turn -on for him. I mean, we

love each other very much, and we have a very open relationship.

Where I come from, it's a very strict Catholic area, and people are just not

that open. I think they would like to be, but they just don't know how to be.

They're afraid or something, which is really silly, but I just know so many

people who would love to be in my shoes right now.

Yes, I think this is fantastic.

I want to do my scene.

Play ball.

You've been elected, most likely to love.

You've been elected, you're the one we've been dreaming of.

Now, when they give you the eye, well, they're not to blame.

Those winning charms and those loving arms, they ought to put you in the Hall

Fame. You've been elected, most likely to give.

You've been selected to be that very special man.

And when they counted the votes, the landslides said you were just the most

likely and lovable one to fall in love with. Oh, baby, you're the people's

choice. These are my angels.

I'm taking these guys home with me. They're going to be my private football

team.

I really didn't notice anybody was here until just now.

I don't want to say anymore. I want to turn the cameras off.

I'm embarrassed.

Turn the cameras off. Why don't you say hello to your friends and relatives?

Hello, Aunt Bertha and Uncle Edgar.

Oh, I lost you again. If only you could see me now.

I don't think that there's too many people that can make

make love better than Barbara Jo and I. We get it on pretty good.

And I think that whatever we do, we do whatever turns us on.

In our fantasy, it's a type of thing, okay, I'm the dominant person.

Jim is the submissive one.

In real life, I don't think it's that way at all.

It's definitely not that way. He's over me, which I like, and I really like that

a lot.

I don't know if...

Liberation does not always lead to Andrea's happy ending.

Sexual freedom can become something indulged in for the sake of fashion

than individual desire.

We were into a bondage type thing through a magazine, either Penthouse or

Gallery, one of the magazines, and they had a picture of a torture chamber type

situation, and we had been getting into a bondage type.

seen before that for our own personal gain.

And we saw this and we said, hey, that would be neat, except I'm a registered

nurse and we thought it would be neat to do it with me being a nurse and Jim

being a patient.

The setting takes place in a treatment room, supposedly a type of a hospital

setting, and a patient is brought in and, of course, he is impotent.

and me being a superstar nurse, I'm going to come in and cure him of his

impotence. You call this a cock?

No wonder you can't get anybody attracted to it.

Barbara Jo and Jim, a handsome couple from Cudahy, Wisconsin, confidently

arrived on the set with a prefabricated fantasy taken from those underground

manuals that purport to add spice and variety to our lovemaking.

With them, they brought their own costumes, as well as a detailed list of

suitable for a scene of light, bondage, and domination.

You would like to give an overall body image.

That way all your muscles just make you relax.

For some reason, you just don't seem to be getting hard.

What does turn you on?

You, sir.

I think I might have to teach you from the beginning just how to be

tender and patient.

Lie down.

I want to fuck you, baby.

Then why can't you get it up?

Let my arms free and I'll get it up.

I don't like my patients not to cooperate, you arrogant bastard.

You just lay down there.

And I want you to relax.

Just relax, baby.

Because what I'm going to put you through, you'll never forget.

I can't hear you. I don't know what you're feeling.

How in the hell are we supposed to know what you're feeling?

Aren't these three women enough for you? Do you want four, five, six?

What the fuck do you want?

Make it hard, baby. You can do it.

Oh, please.

Please.

You've got to.

Don't ruin my reputation, Palmer.

Please.

You're still not working.

You're not making my ego any better.

What do you think I am, just a play toy?

Don't you want to get hard for me? Yes.

Aren't you hot for me?

Don't you want to fuck me?

I want a nice, hard fucking cuss.

It became apparent that the paraphernalia and role -playing were

little help to Jim and Barbara Jo.

They both struggled to achieve a state of physical passion.

But the struggle finally became painful to everyone concerned.

And there was a general agreement to stop filming a scene that was not being

enjoyed by the people in it. I felt that

I had something to prove that I ended up not proving.

That's what I felt.

What was that you had to prove?

Well, I tell you, I feel that I really, what I said when I first walked into

here actually happens to be a fact.

and uh under the stress of the situation or whatever it might be i couldn't uh i

don't feel that i did what i wanted to do okay hey man i have been in every

whorehouse from that side of vietnam to the other side and in moscow and in

madrid spain and a lot of different places and this is i mean take it for

it's worth believe it or not that's the god's honest truth and i have

I've read porn books or whatever you want to call them since I was this high.

And I figure that we can get it on together, and I wish

that I could have it on film.

While the preceding scenes were being filmed, a camera had been kept on Taji.

waiting to record the slightest signs of astral passion.

Before leaving, she had mentioned that her flight plan included the beach of

Waikiki, where she hoped to beguile a Hawaiian surfer.

From the way she was breathing, it seemed something pleasant was happening

voyage, but questions as to where she was or whom she was with still brought

response.

While the wait continued,

The production prepared for the fantasy of Sterling Jones, a young man who had

made it very clear where he wanted to be and what he wanted to do when he got

there.

I didn't know they were on vacation, but their daughter was there with her

friends, you know, and, like, you know, they were smoking pot and everything,

and they were, you know, in their pajamas.

Come in, okay?

Yeah, you come in. Yeah.

Hey, I want you to meet my friend.

Come in.

Where?

Hello. Hi. How are you?

Oh.

Hi. Hi.

Why don't you put it on? I bet you won't get to pay.

come on let us look

Come on, let's get it on. Wait a minute, Mama.

Oh, man.

Do it, Timmy.

There's enough for everybody.

Snacks.

Well, if my rap was like this, I would get fired.

You can tell your boss you took a lunch break, dinner break, coffee break.

That was fantastic.

it was even better than my fantasy it was beautiful it was so beautiful oh man

all those pretty ladies oh i just couldn't believe it because it uh in my

fantasy a fantasy is something that's unreal you know and um this this came to

life you know and it was it made me kind of nervous you know but it was

fantastic it was beautiful and I love to do it again. I do it again and again

and again and again.

It's fantastic.

My fantasy basically is femme.

What I mean is I love femme. I love to be around femme.

And I also like to be femme.

I like to dress in feminine clothes.

I like to be around girls.

But yet the unusual part about it is I'm really not gay.

And I just... love to be and be femme, like I just said, which would seem a

little unusual, but basically I like to have somebody, let's say, thought either

completely dressed as a girl or the other way around, and every time I see,

like, female clothes, sort of, that turns me on, too.

Sandy Light, a transvestite from Riverdale, New York, walks into a

that he has seen many times in his imagination.

The women present accept him as one of their own sex, and the owner of the bar

finds him, as a woman, an exciting interlude in an otherwise slow evening.

In his fantasy, Sandy's true sex remains hidden during the preliminary

caresses and seductions, and the difficult removal of the many baffling

garments in which he'd wrapped himself.

Why the hell do you wear all this crap?

All you've got to do is lose about eight pounds and you wouldn't need all this

shit. Well, I'm quite heavy over here, see?

Over where?

Well, why don't you just see for yourself?

All I have to do is pull the buttons.

The buttons here?

Mm -hmm.

That's a joke.

How do you know I'm not going to be a little bit uptight and throw you the

out of here? I just hope you won't.

Because everyone needs a little change.

Really? When the secret behind the slips, zippers, pads, and girdle is

revealed, Sandy proves that clothes do not necessarily make the man and

convinces his sophisticated lesbian lover that even old -fashioned

heterosexuality can be used now and then for a refreshing change of pace.

I thought it was very good. I thought that it was acted out really to the T. I

mean, it's what really could happen, did happen, and it turns

me on.

How did you feel afterwards?

I'm only asking because it seems that you tell us you feel very satisfied.

You look very morose.

Very sad. Is it post -colonial depression?

No, it's just the fact that, believe it or not, being this way, I must feel very

messed up.

And when I feel messed up like that, it upsets me.

So that's why I might feel a little sad. Do you feel we're really prying into an

intimate moment now? Well, at the end of a fantasy such as mine, when you're

physically messed up, hair, dress, etc.,

Actually, that is an intimate moment because you want to go back to she

And usually because of that, you would like to be left alone.

My fantasy is, well, one good one is that

I can become at will a man. I mean, I can just go and I'm a man.

But my mind is still,

that I'm a woman. Only I look exactly like a man, and I mean I'm really

gorgeous.

And I go into this gay bar, and I'm out to get this guy. I'm really out to get

him, but he screwed me over, so I'm really out to get him.

So I go into the bar, and I pick him up.

Where Sandy hid his true self for the sake of a pleasant surprise, others

a sexual change for less happy reasons.

Terry King, a New York secretary, had suffered for five years from the effects

of a love affair with a man who was homosexual.

Now, in her fantasy, she wants to overcome this unhappy memory by assuming

male form and enticing the image of her former lover into a scene of

embarrassment and revenge.

I knew that he was gay, but he would always do all this really physical

mean, he would always really come on to me, you know, sexually.

All the time.

And then when he really got me so that I really fell in love with him, he

started going back into the bit, well, I just, this will never work out. And

then part of the time he would be, well, I really love you and I want this to

work out. And the rest of the time he would be screwing around with guys and

saying it's never going to work.

So in the end, I really got screwed over because I really fell for him.

I missed you last Friday, Terry.

Last Friday?

We had a date. A date.

Remember? Oh, yeah. I forgot all about it.

Well, listen. This is a new night.

And we can just pretend that our date was for this night.

Thoroughly. Right?

Just like you were going to meet.

Right? Mm -hmm.

And we can go out now.

Maybe. Really?

I put him off sexually. I don't do anything with him.

After a while, when he really gets into it, I decide finally to go to bed with

him. And we just get to the point where we're really going to do it, where he's

really getting off on it.

And then I change back into me, and I really freak him out.

Can you just wait here for a second? Just wait here for a minute.

Okay, just a minute.

It is something that I get off on the thought of doing because it's sort of a

revenge kind of thing that I could never do except in my mind.

And, you know, the idea that I could really, really do this to somebody

who really deserves it.

You rotten son of a bitch.

Nothing, nothing.

But you're saying enough things before enough things you said to me.

What? You meant what?

You meant what?

Everything. Everything when? You meant everything tonight, you rotten son of a

bitch, because you thought I was a big, macho guy. Well, now you're surprised,

huh?

You meant everything you said when?

Son of a bitch, you just want to come crawling to me now just because I showed

you up for what you are.

Oh, God, look at the look on your face. How could you even...

After all that, how can you even look at me? You're like, I'm here in this, and

you even, you can even look at me? You should be so fucking embarrassed you

should crawl under the goddamn bed.

Is that what you want? Yeah, that's what I want you to do. I want you to crawl

under the bed like the little worm you are.

Crawl under there, you fucker.

Crawl under that bed. You gotta push me. I'll push you under the bed. Okay,

we'll push you under the bed. Just get the fuck under there, you bastard.

Son of a bitch.

It was fun telling him all this. Stay there when you belong, asshole.

What am I going to do tonight?

Oh, God.

Oh, I don't know. I'll probably go out and get done.

I feel... I don't know.

Well, my fantasy is entitled The Feather Fantasy.

And it takes place in pilgrim times, and it's the town square.

And there are ten men lined up.

at the stocks with their arms tied behind them and the feather person which

the part i would like to play comes by them undresses them very quickly and he

goes up with the feather to each of their cocks and this is the most

part is that they he tickles them and they get hard and when they all come

are released and they have to go back into the town square and it's

for them. It doesn't matter what they did that was wrong, probably wasn't even

wrong, but it doesn't matter.

This is their punishment.

I want them to really get turned on by it. They are

enjoying it, but it's humiliating to be enjoying it in public.

The idea that they get turned on in spite of the fact that they're straight

in spite of the humiliation, but that's very difficult to happen realistically.

My fantasy is irrational.

You know, fantasies aren't rational things.

Who are you?

What?

Sucker's cock.

No.

I said sucker's cock.

No. Fuck it, Carl.

You better listen to me.

You do what I tell you.

Get down.

Carl? Yes, James?

Uh, well, what are we gonna do? Because, uh... Well, it's not working.

Sorry. How do I feel?

I feel like you should have gotten gay guys for my fantasy.

I mean, they're straight. They're attracted to women.

I want to say I'm sorry if I hurt you.

The whipping I rather liked.

Really?

You could also be ripping your clothes off. Yes, I got off on that. I got off

that very much. Very much.

That was great.

But I'm a little disappointed that I didn't get to see you all come. I would

like to see that.

I'm very disappointed. I think you should have gotten people who would have

able to be turned on by this.

I think that's your job. I told you my fantasy. You know what had to be done.

And it's understandable that straight guys wouldn't be able to get it up that

way. This is obviously a straight film with little outlook

as to...

how a gay person might perceive it, I think, because of the outcome of my

fantasy and also the people that were chosen.

The three guys, they're not fantasy figures for me.

I was a little disappointed with the choices.

Are you pissed off at us?

A little.

A little what?

A little pissed off. I'm disappointed.

Other fantasies faltered in the making.

John Schmozik and Karen Frohart, a couple from Seattle, Washington, who

to make love to clowns in a funhouse surrounded by distorting mirrors, got

in a pleasant but aimless orgy and forgot about completing their scene.

Esther Lester, a truck driver from New Jersey, used a little too much bourbon

prepare for her performance, and her dream of being an artist's model came to

untimely end when she had to be helped down from her pedestal.

And Don Farrar from Omaha, Nebraska, who wished to be one among a group of

waiters whose semen would be used as salad dressing by ladies at an elegant

outdoor luncheon, found it too difficult to contain his excitement until the

proper course and...

prematurely seasoned the ladies' suit.

Some people's fantasies changed in the process of being filmed.

Jim Mann, a student from Rutgers University, wanted at first to

made love to by a trio of women.

Carol Ann Baumberger also wanted to appear in an orgy of more than modest

proportions. Why do you want to be in the shot today?

It's going to help me in my own thing to get to know people and how they act and

react to each other.

And besides, you know, if it turns me on, well, then that's worth the whole

thing.

I'm going to try to make his fantasy as good as I want mine to be.

However, when Jim and Carol Ann met before the cameras...

and the shooting of Jim's fantasy began, they were so taken with each other that

they both forgot to behave in proper orgiastic fashion and simply made love

each other.

Jim, now much more relaxed than when he arrived, left to return to school and

recount his adventures to his friend.

But Carol Ann had enjoyed herself so thoroughly that she decided to stay on

location. and appear as often as possible in the fantasies of others.

And then there was Greg Hart, a high school psychology counselor, whose

nature itself conspired to inhibit.

But my sexual fantasy is that I would like to be with a blonde

chick, a blonde girl.

She has to have blonde hair.

She doesn't have to be that great looking.

that nice looking but uh she doesn't even have to be that busty either she

you know 36 is acceptable um 24 36.

uh but what i would like to do with her is first of all i'd like to uh sort of

you know make out with her and um then after that well that's foreplay

uh and then after that um really this is necessary part is the

lubrication the lubrication would be crisco oil in a can

then i would like to put my hand into the crisco and then with my fingers

slowly enter her ass very very slowly and very gently

and in a way fist fucker that is is what the terminology is

And when I'm going in, I'm not going for depth.

Depth, you would go right up to the arm.

But I'm going for width, which is that way.

I can't overemphasize the points. I could dream them true.

But you're real.

Yeah.

I'm really here.

I'll be part of you.

You can do whatever you want.

is so remarkable.

What?

So white.

So white.

I need your mouth.

I can't.

You want me to open your pants?

Okay, take my shirt off.

Take your blouse off.

Not fast enough.

You're perfect for me. Do you know that? Do you know that?

You're perfect.

Just let the doubt respond.

Unbutton that.

I didn't say unzip, did I?

I said unbutton.

Did I say unzip?

Okay.

I just said unbutton, period.

Good.

Now unzip.

Is that the right way to treat my clothes?

Put it right there.

Up.

Down.

And suck.

Pete's good.

Take your panties off.

Take your shoes off.

You know what I'm going to do with this cock?

Turn over.

Over.

Over.

What I'm going to do, I'm going to take the Crisco, work it

into my hands, and work it into your ass.

Understood? Yes.

Don't worry.

Everything's going to be all right.

Okay? Okay.

You let me know when there's the least bit of pain.

Let me know.

Okay.

That's all you have to say. Okay?

Do you trust me? If you trust me, relax.

Okay?

Is the position comfortable for you?

Maybe if you open your legs up a little bit.

Good. Okay.

And just relax.

And think of me.

Just relax.

You know what I do in a case like this?

Do you know what I do?

Hmm?

I won't, but I have feelings for you.

You know, I would force it in anyway.

I would force my hand in there.

And I would put my cup down.

Since I have feelings for you, I can't.

Just remember next time.

Okay?

I was a little spaced out, I guess. I was very disappointed in myself that I

couldn't fulfill his fantasy.

Because I had really, really wanted to.

I didn't know what it was, but I thought whatever it was, I could certainly

handle it.

Were you frightened?

Was I frightened?

Yeah.

I think I was frightened the first time he hit me.

You know.

Your initial thing is panic.

And when somebody hits you, especially as hard as he hit me. But then I

well, maybe that'll be the only time he hits me. So, you know, I would be

willing to put up with that.

Why didn't you stop it?

I didn't want to stop the scene. I wanted to keep it going.

I thought I would take it as far as... I thought I would take it to the end.

But you were terrified of that guy? Yeah, he was pretty crazy. You could

looking at his eyes. I don't know what it'll look like in the film.

But when I looked in his face, he didn't see cameras.

He didn't see any other people in the room. He just saw me.

And he was really into it. He was going to fulfill his fantasy. And I was going

to try to help.

As far as I'm concerned, the person I do this with is just an object.

But it could be with someone you love. Yes, very much so.

And would that change your attitude at all?

Do you think you could do it to someone you like?

Wow, you're really hitting at a real point that, you know... I

really... I don't think I could.

To me, it's one... I have to divorce and separate two different things.

I can't say what I haven't experienced.

Okay, but...

I don't think I could do it. I think I could only do it as an object.

And if I fell in love with this particular woman, I think that would

I don't think I could do it.

Sexual violence takes a more complex and mysterious form in Robert Kazmaier's

imagination.

Filled with personal symbols and images, his erotic dream is both frightening

and beautiful.

My fantasy begins in a chapel.

In the chapel, there is a woman.

She's past her prime of life. She was once very attractive, but she's not very

attractive. The shades of her beauty are still there.

She's dressed in the outside of a wedding gown, the diaphanous part, but

underneath, she's completely nude.

She prays in the chapel.

And then I am there, and I see myself as a young man, probably younger than I

am now.

I feel somewhat numb.

This wasn't what I wanted to happen, but it has happened.

And then we are walking through a wood.

First we walk slowly.

She starts to walk ahead of me.

She looks back.

Something in my face scares her and she starts to run.

I'm on a beach.

The sun feels good on my back.

After so much strain and mayhem, we returned to the quiet repose of Taji.

Since the production would soon be coming to an end, it was a relief to see

signs that Taji was returning to us.

I see a surfer.

I am reaching out towards him.

He's yielding completely.

Together we're climbing.

I can say very honestly and truthfully is that everyone, should they decide to

take up astral traveling, they would find it a kind of relaxing vacation away

from the body in itself.

You know, I've got this dress at home and it's white. It's a long gown.

It was curious that of all the people who participated in the making of this

movie, only Vanessa Vanderbilt, now arriving in the limousine, used the

of being filmed as an integral part of her fantasy.

Having enjoyed a rich variety of sexual experiences in her private life, she now

wanted to see if she had the courage to repeat some of them in front of a

camera.

I imagine myself coming into, it's like a big party, a big dance, a ball.

And my head has a white bandana of some kind.

And I spot him or her.

And it just flows, you know, we're dancing, music is right all night.

I love doing things that are not the norm. I like doing things that are

As soon as the music and filming began, it became apparent that Vanessa was

having no trouble at all making her secrets a subject for public viewing.

By her scene's conclusion, Vanessa had become so adept at collaboration with

cameras that she improvised a lovely scene of photographed passion.

If I were to say I felt alive, that would be... The word alive would be

down what I really felt.

To be able to be open, honest with myself, to share, to love.

It's like I'm just... I just came into the world.

I don't masturbate often, since I don't have to.

But when I do, it's not...

The picture of a woman or the picture of two women or the picture of a man and a

woman is a picture of myself that I like.

See, I can see my body. I can see myself there, and I'm attracted to it.

I want to touch it. I want to feel it, you know? Just to know that I could

go like this, and this is my body, turns me on.

I love the way I move.

talk i love oh it's so good i love the way i my skin feels

and i love i love the shape of my penis i love to touch it i love to cherish

it doesn't it doesn't even have to be sexual all the time just to touch it

to feel it it's so wonderful it's like an extension of myself and that

of myself makes me feel whole makes me feel complete i would love to Make

love to myself even as a man, but if I could transform myself in a woman I

make love to that that body there which would be me as a woman That would be

that would be so good

Hands touching me.

Touching me all over.

God, she feels good.

And I want to see myself as a woman.

hair to be long.

I'm flowing.

My hair needs to be long.

Long so I can wind my fingers around it.

And my face, my face is showing, it's showing,

it's showing my passion.

I look beautiful.

I'm... I'm making love to myself.

You... You are the image of myself.

You are me.

The two sides of me.

The two sides of me.

You don't get me so excited.

the best fuck I would ever get.

Don't you see it?

The last fantasy comes to an end.

The toys and gadgets of movie making are put away and cast and crew begin to

return to the realities of the city.

Before everyone goes his separate way, a gathering is held that is both a

farewell party and a private screening for those whose fantasies have been put

on film.

The stars, collected all together, watched themselves in performance and

their dreams looked from a distance.

Some, of course, were delighted by what was on the screen.

Oh, I'm definitely in love with myself.

There's nothing to worry about.

What happened?

Come on.

How can you do that?

That's all I get.

I'll be darned if we just couldn't turn down again.

Next time I will shave.

See what happens.

Shave. Shave the beard.

It was even better than I expected.

I smiled all the way home on the plane.

The man next to me said, you look so happy. And I said, oh, I am.

I thought maybe I'd work on the hockey team.

Yeah, I had a beautiful time. The best time I had in my life.

Love it.

Sexy devil.

God damn you, sexy devil.

And I know I'm not crazy for a lot of the feelings and my thoughts, my

They're not the norm. And I'm not crazy. All of you accepted that.

Okay?

You better believe it. You accepted it. You know, it was just...

You helped make it all possible.

And since then, I've just felt I'm okay.

I'm fucking okay.

Really did a lovely, beautiful sex act without it being what they call dirty

these days.

Oh, this is as good as the jury duty that I was on for 52 days.

But some were baffled and found it difficult to believe that they were

part of the scenes they looked at.

It was so strange.

I don't think I really looked like a man because I know that I'm not.

But I don't know if I would look like somebody who didn't know.

I never told the real guy exactly what I told the actor. I really never let that

anger come out like I should have.

Probably I would have been a lot happier in the long run.

I have to say to myself, why do I have such a fantasy?

And if I have such, to have such a fantasy of destroying the one that I

means that the last scene must be there.

But the last scene is you wearing a dress in church. It absolutely

me. Because I have in a way become, the act of destruction means that I must

take on the loneliness of her, the...

The longing, the guilt, and all of that I express that way.

I'm able to realize that my fantasies have to stay fantasies. And some were

frankly not too happy with the image of themselves they now offered for public

viewing. While I was watching, I'm saying, is this really me doing it? Is

me?

Okay, that's part of me and that's the part inside of me.

See, I'm usually a quiet, reserved, very shy guy.

The part inside that wants to cry out is that part.

And that's what I did.

Nevertheless, they all felt it had been an experience from which they had

learned a great deal about themselves.

And later, as they danced and celebrated the end of their movie, a close

comradeship formed among them.

As for those of us who made the film, all we can truthfully say about the

behavior you've watched is that it was spontaneous and on point.

You may have found it compelling, offensive, or amusing, but it was human

behavior for which neither apologies nor theories are really needed.

You