All language subtitles for 1 1 Last.Week.Tonight.with.John.Oliver.S12E30.1080p

Bye.

I'm John Oliver. Thank you so much for
joining us. It has been a very busy

COP 30, the UN's climate conference,
began without an official delegation

the US. The last ever penny was minted
in Philadelphia. And in Russia, a new AI

robot was unveiled. And it didn't go
great.

It's incredible.

Every single part of that is perfect,
from the robot's gait, which gives drunk

Grandpa going to piss after accidentally
falling asleep in his chair, to it

being dragged off stage like a
bachelorette being removed from a

I'm sorry, that curtain.

And I don't want to judge here, but it
feels like bare minimum. You shouldn't

allowed to work anywhere near
engineering if you cannot successfully

curtain on the first try.

Meanwhile, in Washington, the government
shutdown ended after eight Senate

Democrats caved, so Wednesday really
should have been a good day for the

president until this happened.

President Trump refusing to answer why
he won't let the FBI release the Jeffrey

Epstein files, even as just -revealed
messages written by the sex offender

new questions about their friendship and
whether Trump was aware of Epstein's

crimes. Trump's name coming up again and
again.

In a 2017 email to former Treasury
Secretary Larry Summers, Epstein

have met some very bad people, none as
bad as Trump. Not one decent cell in his

body. So yes.

dangerous wow that doesn't look great
when even the guy running the pervert

express to crime island thinks that you
are a dick that has got to stink i

know the trump seems to be immune to
shame but come on at some point he's

to look at himself in the mirror and
even if briefly think not as bad as me

captain freak of the floating sex
dungeon thinks i am the worst

Fuck, that is rough.

The White House has been in damage
control mode ever since, even insisting

the emails prove Trump did nothing
wrong, which they very much do not. But

perhaps the boldest attempt to spin
these revelations came from Megyn Kelly,

who, for some reason, felt it was
important to make one thing clear.

I do know somebody very, very close to
this case who is in a position to know

virtually everything.

Jeffrey Epstein, in this person's
view...

Was not a pedophile. This is this
person's view who was there for a lot of

but that he was into the barely legal
type. Like he liked 15 year old girls.

And I realized this is disgusting. I'm
definitely not trying to make an excuse

for this. He wasn't into like eight year
olds, but he liked the very young teen

type that could pass for even younger
than they were, but would look legal to

passerby. Look, it's.

You can say that's a distinction without
a difference. No, it's not. I think

there is a difference. There's a
difference between a 15 -year -old and a

-year -old. You know, it's just
whatever.

Yeah, that clip starts with, I know
someone who's super in the middle of all

Epstein shit, and it somehow gets
sketchier from there.

Because if I'm understanding you there,
and I am definitely not...

Epstein wasn't into eight -year -olds,
he was just into very young teens who

could pass for even younger, while also
to passers -by still somehow managing to

look legal. And you felt that this was
an important numerical distinction to

bring up to your yes -anding friend
here. Look, I'm clearly no stranger to

sharing upsetting numbers with my
audience, but please do kill me if I

start doing pedophile math.

Now, the House is apparently set to vote
this coming week on whether the DOJ

must release all its Epstein polls, so
there will clearly be a lot more to say

about this going forward. But for now,
we're going to dive straight in with our

main story this week, which concerns
public media. It's brought us Sesame

Street, NPR's Tiny Desk concert, and the
joy of painting with Bob Ross, which

once featured this exceptional reveal.

OK, we'll just put a little of that
colour on the fan brush.

End in our world.

Maybe there lives, what there does now,
just some happy little trees back in

here.

These little trees would be a super
place for my little squirrel. If you've

painted with me before, you know I have
all kinds of little creature pets.

I'm going to share with you my latest
little squirrel that's living with me.

is the most precious little thing.

You have to force him to eat, see.

We call him Peapod the Pocket Squirrel.

Oh, my God!

Peapod's the pocket squirrel might be
the best sequence of words in the

of the English language.

And admit it, for a moment, you thought
he was talking about an imaginary

squirrel there. You heard him say, these
little trees will be a super place for

my little squirrel. And you assumed he
was referring to an animal he was about

to paint, not a living rodent on his
person.

Even when he moved the dropper towards
his pocket, a physical squirrel wasn't

your mental horizon. You just figured...

It was a weird paint tool and there no
way was a real -life fucking squirrel

chilling in this guy's clothes. There
was just no fucking way. What if it

But have you ever been happier to be
wrong?

Also, fun fact, Peapod wasn't Bob Ross's
only squirrel. He apparently built an

enormous cage outside of his home in
which he nursed orphaned squirrels back

health, which is presumably why this
absolute banger of a photo...

Exists. And sorry to every living
supermodel, but that is a pout.

Anyway, in America, almost all public
media falls under the Corporation for

Public Broadcasting, which until
recently distributed funding to over 500

and TV grantees, representing more than
1 ,500 locally managed and operated

stations nationwide.

Together, the system reaches nearly 99 %
of the US population with free

programming and services.

And public media has been truly
innovative.

in reaching underserved audiences. It
was public TV stations that first

closed captioning in the 1970s, and
stations around the country offer

programming in Haitian Creole, Navajo,
Vietnamese, and many other languages.

as you undoubtedly know, it is now
facing a serious threat.

As over the summer, Congress decided to
eliminate $1 .1 billion that had been

allocated to fund public broadcasting
for the next two years. It was something

that Trump celebrated like this.

Public broadcasting, they've been
looking to get it out of there for

and billions of dollars.

And very, very unfair, very, very unfair
reporting.

They would I would say they make CNN
look honest.

And we got rid of it. Finally, we got
rid of it. We got rid of billions of

dollars that was wasted on that.

You know what? I can't explain this in a
precise way, but Donald Trump proudly

slurring his way through another on
-purpose disaster might be the

opposites of Bob Ross and Peapod. In
fact, if you play those two clips at the

same time, I think the world might
explode.

But it is true, in July, Congress
approved Trump's plan to eliminate the

funding entirely.

It is one of many egregious actions this
administration has taken, which is why

the number one search on Google this
year is probably going to end up being,

wait, can the government do that?

And all of this has understandably upset
a lot of people, even some that you may

not have thought would be fans of public
media, like this guy.

Public radio, it's a national treasure.

I mean, where else would you go? As a
young man, I watched Ginger Baker

have a drum off against the drummer from
Rat.

And, you know, on Rock School on PBS.

You're not going to find that on network
television.

Not to mention Sesame Street. I mean,
look, this is Mr.

Rogers. It's quality programming, and it
always has been, and it's a damn shame

to just throw it in the toilet like
that.

Okay, so there is a lot to say there,
but mostly the top half of him is not

problem. But I know what you're
thinking.

You are thinking, I had no idea that the
berserker Blothar, lead vocalist of

heavy metal band Gwar, was such a fan of
public media. But apparently, he is.

And it is both beautiful and confusing
to watch him utter the words, Mr.

As it's hard to imagine them in the same
universe. Although, I'll say, I would

love to have seen Gwar on Mr.

Rogers. Blothar, you are special just
the way you are.

Your diseased undercarriage composed of
abscess riddled penises makes you, you.

But he is right.

This budget cut is devastating.
Actually, maybe take that down.

This cut will be felt all over, but
especially in rural, remote and tribal

communities. One analysis estimates that
as many as 115 stations, collectively

serving 43 million Americans, are likely
to close by mid -next year.

And as a DJ at this Colorado station
explains, these stations can fill a

community role.

One of the things that we do is provide
public service announcements that inform

people of meetings that are important to
the community that they don't always

get in a timely fashion otherwise.

Some examples that I just read on this
morning's show included an announcement

about a distribution of school supplies
that is occurring today.

Here's an announcement about a free
Sloppy Joe luncheon for veterans and

homeless.

Exactly. That man who looks like Santa
Claus, if he got just the right amount

into the Grateful Dead, is completely
right. He should also, by the way,

probably be public radio's new mascot,
given he has the quintessential public

radio voice, beard and general vibe.

Honestly, if the next NPR tote for sale
does not have that man's face on it,

they're leaving money on the table.

The point is, public media provides
incredible benefits to the communities

it serves, and it has just suffered a
gigantic blow.

So given that, tonight, let's talk about
public media, how it works, what it

does, and how we go forward. And let's
start with the fact that the system as

currently know it started when LBJ
signed the Public Broadcasting Act of

into law, announcing it like this.

This corporation will assist stations
and producers who aim for the best in

broadcasting good music, in broadcasting
exciting plays, in broadcasting reports

on the whole fascinating range,

of human activity it will try to prove
that what educates can also

be exciting it will get part of its
support from our government but it will

carefully guarded from government or
from party control it will be free

and it will be independent and it will
belong to all of our people yeah that

a bold move The kind of thing that takes
some truly enormous balls, which, as

you should know from recordings that
we've played of LBJ complaining to the

of the company that made his trousers
that the crotch down where your nuts

is always a little too tight, he
definitely had.

And quick side note, you may remember a
few weeks ago, we had this potentially

life -size replica of LBJ's balls made
and offered them to his presidential

library. Well, I've got good news and
bad news. The good news is we heard from

them. The bad news is they politely
declined our offer, but in doing so

please accept this basket of fruit and
nuts as a token of our appreciation for

all you do.

This is the basket they sent, which
contains, and this is true, a variety of

nuts and fruits, all in sets of two,
which is excellent.

Anyway, as Lyndon Bulls Johnson just
said, that one act authorised the

of the Corporation for Public
Broadcasting, which then in turn created

and NPR. But the CPP's role wasn't to
directly produce content or oversee

media as a state arm. It was primarily
to distribute funding for it while

crucially remaining independent of the
government. That is why the CPP is a

private, non -profit corporation. The
only issue is that despite not being a

government agency, It is still funded
like one. Its funding is embedded in the

annual congressional appropriations
process.

And because Congress controls its
funding, that's always left the CPB

to political attacks. Almost from the
start, it has been a punching bag for

Republicans. Just two years after it was
created, Nixon proposed slashing its

funding in half, reportedly to help meet
the financial demands of the Vietnam

War. Because apparently, the CPB was a
bad use of public money, unlike, you

know, Vietnam.

That is what led to this famous moment
in a hearing about the CPB's funding

Fred Rogers addressed a skeptical
senator and described what his show was

about. This is what I give. I give an
expression of care every day to each

to help him realize that he is unique.

I end the program by saying, you've made
this day a special day by just your

being you.

There's no person in the whole world
like you. And I like you just the way

are. And I feel that if we in public
television can only make

it clear that feelings are mentionable
and manageable, we will have

done a great service.

I think it's wonderful.

I think it's wonderful.

Looks like you just earned the $20
million.

Wow! That is a truly heartwarming thing
that would never, ever happen

today.

If Mr. Rogers had given that exact same
testimony this year, Ted Cruz would have

called him a radical left lunatic, Fox
News would have run with the headline

Rogers' Socialist Neighborhood, and the
White House would have posted an AI

video of President Trump kicking him in
the balls.

But while public media's funding was
saved on that day, It has been

consistently ever since, usually with
complaints about its so -called liberal

bias. Why is there this small elite
group at the Corporation for Public

Broadcasting that gets to spend money
they didn't earn?

What right do they have to dole out your
money? I think the people at PBS see

themselves as social agents. They see
themselves as having this great forum,

this great platform to push what they
think will be the good society.

It is brainwashing the American people
and more significantly American children

with un -American, anti -family, pro
-crime, fake news.

Okay, so a few things in order. First,
what right do they have to spend money

they didn't earn applies to literally
any use of taxpayer money. And also,

congratulations to Newt and Callista
Gingrich on their documentary Journey to

America, released this year on, guess
what, PBS.

Second, if you're curious why this guy
was speaking on behalf of a group called

Concerned Women for America, so am I.
And finally...

As for Marjorie Taylor Greene's comment,
I think we all know what she means by

anti -family, but I'd love to know what
PBS programming is being interpreted as

pro -crime. Is the episode of Arthur
where the brain gets himself into a Dr.

Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation? Because I
guess you could argue that it inspires

kids to commit potion -fueled vandalism,
but I think the only real crime

involved is that this song has been
lodged in my brain for over two decades

That song will now be in your head until
the day that you die.

It was my curse and now it is yours too.

Anyway, that clip is from earlier this
year at a hearing that Green chaired

where the CEOs of NPR and PBS were
questioned about why, in her words,

funds were being spent on left -wing
echo chambers for mostly wealthy white

urban liberals and progressives who
generally look down on and judge rural

America. This hearing was...

Again and again, members of Congress
would take a tiny, out -of -context

snippet, sometimes of something that
aired on just one station, and demand

the heads of those organizations defend
them. Here is one congressman who

thought he really had something.

Do you think that you should publish
something that calls trees racist?

In retrospect, should you have published
that?

I'm not sure what you're referring to.
You had a segment that was called racist

trees. I mean, we've already referenced
a number of times. So, I mean, do you

think trees can be racist? I guess
that's a good one. I don't know what

talking about. I've never heard of what
you're referring to. All right.

Well, I have, because we looked it up
and it turns out it wasn't a segment

how trees are racist. It was this
documentary telling the story of a

historically black neighbourhood in Palm
Springs and their decades -long fight

for the removal of a wall of trees that
many believed were originally planted as

a totem of segregation.

So, I guess I'd answer his question of
do you think trees can be racist with a

question of my own, specifically, do you
understand that the titles of movies

are not always 100 % literal?

The Shining is not about a successful
shoe polishing business.

And The Wolf of Wall Street isn't about
an actual wolf with a successful

investment strategy. Now, should it have
been?

Absolutely it should. But sadly, it
wasn't. And look, there can be a good

debate over bias in the media, liberal
or otherwise. But I'll point out that a

lot of the time...

What conservatives claim as liberal bias
is often just things like showing

there's a long history of racism in
America or that gay people exist, making

hard to interpret those criticisms as
anything other than bigotry. And yet,

arguments like those just got used to
justify zeroing out the entire budget of

the CPB, which is just stupid.

In many places, it'll actually have the
exact opposite of the intended effect.

And to understand why...

It's worth talking about where all those
federal dollars went.

Because while some of the CPB funding
did go directly to PBS, and NPR at the

national level, the vast majority of it,
more than 70%, went directly to local

public radio and television stations,
who used it to do things like produce

local programs, purchase equipment, and
acquire national programming, like All

Things Considered and the PBS NewsHour.
And for many stations, that was just one

way they got funded, because none relied
completely on the federal government.

In fact, one survey found that on
average, local public TV stations relied

federal funding for 18 % of their
budget, with radio stations having...

an average reliance of around 14%. And a
big way they've always made up the

difference is through, as you
undoubtedly know, viewers or listeners

That is why so many stations seem to be
constantly running pledge drives. Just

take this one from Washington State in
1999, featuring a certain former co

of mine.

Please call in at 1 -800 -443 -1999 and
subscribe.

Because you can't get programming like
Mr. Bean.

You can't get programming like Red Dwarf
anywhere else except for Channel 9. As

you've already seen tonight, British
comedy is so amazing.

And you can't get that on any other
channel, practically.

And it's so wonderful that Channel 9 can
bring this to you. Rowan Atkinson is a

genius. And it's just so great that we
can bring you all the episodes in one

entire... night. Mr. Bean is a
phenomenal television program in

asked for it to be here in Washington,
and you get an entire evening of it, and

it's just wonderful.

I just can't tell you how I'm so excited
about Mr. Bean and things like Black

Adder and Red Dwarf and British comedy
brought to you on Channel 9, so please

call. Yeah, that is a young Joel McHale
going all out to raise money for his

local PBS station, and he was going in
hard on the Mr. Bean element there.

Those clips go from, wow, Joel really
likes Mr.

Bean, to, wait, did Mr. Bean say he's
going to pay him, to, did Mr. Bean say

he's going to kill him?

The point is, some local stations
heavily depend on donations to get by,

lot are operating on a shoestring to
begin with, like this one in Louisiana.

Before the sun comes up. Alarm went off
at 4 in the morning.

Got here at 5 .30.

Jeff Farrell turns on the lights at the
only NPR news radio station in

Shreveport, Louisiana.

Partly cloudy and 73.

Farrell is the only full -time news
employee at Red River Radio.

He's the news director, on -air host.

The time is now 8 .04.

Field producer.

How much of a difference?

Writer.

And sound editor.

15 -hour days covering news in three
states.

Do I rest for a second? Yeah. I'll take
a quick 15 -minute pause and then

recharge. So you sleep in your office?

Sometimes.

Holy shit!

The only thing more alarming than that
man's workload is the way he briefly

dissociated before saying...

Sometimes. That was either an
existential cry for help, or he just

how to micro -nap in the middle of an
interview.

But having a tiny staff is not uncommon,
and in some parts of the country,

particularly less affluent or more rural
areas, stations may not be able to

raise what they need through their
communities, so...

they've relied more heavily on federal
funding. Remember how I said states have

relied on it for around 14 % to 18 % of
their budget?

That's an average.

For some, it's been much more, because
while WNYC, New York's public radio

station, lost about 4 % of its annual
budget when the CPP got cut, KLND in

McLaughlin, South Dakota, lost 50%, and
KSHI on the Zuni Pueblo in New Mexico

lost 96%. And when budgets get
slashed...

One way an outlet can cut costs is by
producing less local reporting and

more on content that they license from
NPR and PBS at the national level. So

while I personally think the green
caricature of them pumping out un

programming that doesn't reflect
community values is total bullshit, the

is the more local stations' budgets are
slashed, the more they may come to rely

on programming produced in those urban
echo chambers.

As the executive director of a station
in California said, the local stuff

that's so important to people is
probably the stuff that'll go away.

And it's worth talking about what some
of that local stuff is, because it can

woven into people's lives in all sorts
of ways. High school sports, for

instance, have become some of the most
popular local programmes on PBS

with the former CEO of Arkansas PBS
saying it's one of those things that

everybody loves, but isn't necessarily a
money -making venture, so commercial

networks aren't going to really commit
to high school sports.

Other areas use public media in quirky
ways. In rural Northern California, this

station has a regular segment called
Trading Time, where people call in to

items to sell, trade or give away. And
during place drive season, callers will

sometimes even contribute the proceeds
back to the station, leading to once -in

-a -lifetime offers like this one.

Good morning. We have a bidet that we
just remodeled the bathroom.

Took out the bidet that we weren't
using. It's in excellent condition. It's

Kohler. And if you go to get one new,
they're like $300 or $400.

But we will sell this one for...

$50 your best offer and donate all the
money to the pledge drive. Okay, so it's

a good day for a bidet.

John and Mendo's got one for you. If you
buy it, $50 your best offer. He's going

to donate that right to the station.

Wonderful.

Yeah, it is wonderful.

It's also, let's be honest, super weird.

The saddest six -word story may be, for
sale, baby shoes never worn.

But the weirdest one is, for sale, used
bidet for charity.

And if you, like me, thought that was
another artefact of the 90s, you should

know it is from three weeks ago.

And it is great to know that public
radio can still be a resource for bidet

-related news and discussion.

All this time, I thought the only place
to go for that was the bidets subreddit,

where you can find posts like, I didn't
buy a bidet, I bought an amusement park

ride for my butt.

Having a bidet at home has really ruined
the allure of pooping at work.

My bidet keeps splashing into my balls.
And there's a similar post, husband's

chestnuts getting busted in Canada.

Which goes on to say, husband's honey
nuts getting brutalised by the bidet.

Gentlemen, help him, Canadian
cantaloupes are compromised.

But obviously, it is not all high school
sports and bidets. In some places,

public media is the only source of local
news.

According to one analysis, in nine
counties, a public broadcasting station

the sole source of local news coverage.

And in 47 others, it's one of only two,
with the other typically being a weekly

newspaper. And local public media scored
some amazing scoops to rattle off just

a few.

In West Virginia, these outlets
uncovered the fact that Bob Murray,

the pod, fought against black lung
regulations and then filed for black

benefits for himself, which is exactly
the kind of behaviour that might lead

someone to tell you to go eat shit.

In Alaska, KTOO.

broke the story of a massive food stamp
backlog affecting thousands of people,

with the Alaska Press Club later writing
that it was the reporter's community

-based reporting and relationships with
sources that brought light to a state

problem that affected thousands of
Alaskans whose voices needed to be

And a reporter at this radio station in
New Hampshire produced both a massive

investigation and this podcast about
alleged sexual misconduct at the largest

addiction treatment centre in the state.
And she kept at that reporting.

even as the target of her investigation
sued her in a station and at her house,

and those of her parents and her boss
were vandalized. And that's something

she later explained to her public TV
station.

My husband checks our security cameras,
and sure enough, a brick had been thrown

through my living room window, and the
words, just the beginning, were spray

-painted, exclamation point.

under the broken window um and you have
a young daughter i do have a young

daughter and was there a point when you
thought maybe i won't be continuing this

did it make you think about dropping
this not wanting to continue working on

you know um i never considered stopping
yeah that is incredibly brave

especially because i'm assuming that
that message didn't continue just the

beginning of a storied career in
investigative journalism keep up the

p .s the brick is made of chocolate

The point is, local public media is
filled with impressive reporting like

In fact, we've relied on it on this show
in pieces that we've done about HOAs,

juvenile justice, and in our first and
second lethal injection stories. And if

you're hearing those and thinking, man,
this show is more depressing than I

remembered, girl, same.

And as this manager for a tribal station
in Oregon explains, if budget cuts mean

she can't afford to broadcast news to
her listeners...

That's going to be a problem not just
for her station, but for everyone.

We do our own local newscast and we can
cover Warm Springs better than anybody.

Mainstream media doesn't necessarily
show up unless something very bad has

happened. She'll have to make cuts and
she expects to lose access to national

news. And tribal network.

Native America calling in national
native news. And those are programs that

people here love and tune in for like
every day at 10 o 'clock.

Leaving the high desert at risk of
becoming a news desert.

There'll be like a void where probably
incorrect information will grow.

Exactly. And I know.

That when you hear void where incorrect
information will grow, you immediately

think of whatever infinite chasm is
behind Megyn Kelly's eyes. But in this

it means something else. And even beyond
news, public media can be how critical

information gets disseminated in
communities with limited broadband or

service. Public radio may be the only
way to distribute missing and endangered

persons alerts.

It can also be crucial during an
emergency like a hurricane.

Remember that station?

where one guy is the only full -time
news employee, if it goes away, a lot

with it.

About 19 % of Louisiana lives in
poverty, and 15 % don't have Internet

according to the U .S. Census.

You can't afford satellite TV. You can't
buy cable.

And they're alone.

And so it is a lifeline. And what's
great about this is that...

They feel connected. They stay connected
to the world. These radio emergency

alerts are vital during hurricane
season, warning folks where and when

will hit.

Public radio saves lives.

The emergency broadcast system, without
it, people would die.

Right. Without their emergency broadcast
system, people would die. If you take

one thing away from this piece, it
really should be that, even though,

unfortunately, it will probably be this
instead.

Jekyll, hide, hide, Jekyll.

Jekyll, Jekyll, hide, Jekyll, hide.
You're living this for the rest of your

life. This is never, ever leaving your
brain. It's tattooed onto your eardrums.

It's not just that. Some stations have
also jumped in to serve their listeners,

even when they're not prepared to. Take
Blue Ridge Public Radio in North

Carolina, which had to pivot into
emergency alerts during Hurricane Helene

year, when its small staff of seven
didn't just report through the storm and

immediate aftermath, but they also kept
working through a 53 -day stretch where

locals didn't have access to clean
water.

And if you hear the messages they got
from listeners afterwards, you get a

picture of just how much their work
meant to people.

You guys were wonderful and you
sustained me. I was isolated on a

My wife and I are so thankful for your
constant presence during this crisis.

Keep it up. We love you. Thank you guys
so much for being there.

It's just going to make me cry because
you're the only source of information

that we've had.

Thank you. Bye -bye.

Yeah, that's incredibly moving.

Honestly, I feel like I'm going to cry,
and I haven't cried at a radio segment

since that time I heard about a near
-mint -conditioned cola bidet being sold

for the low, low price of $50.

So that is what is at stake here. And
while some might suggest that the free

market will fill in the gaps, in many
cases, these stations only exist because

the free market has shown that it won't.

Because, unfortunately, it may well not
find value in localised emergency

alerts. during hurricanes, or announcing
free sloppy joes for veterans, or even

in pocket squirrels, which is madness,
given they should clearly be the most

valuable commodity on the fucking
planet.

As the general manager of Blue Ridge
Public Radio told one reporter, NBC

news can show you pictures of
devastating flooding, but they don't

where to get fresh water.

NBC News is not for that.

And she's right. NBC isn't focused on
emergency information on the local

It's clearly focused on one thing and
one thing only, keeping Lorne Michaels

alive.

And frankly, it's always been a bit
weird how little we fund public media,

how vital it can be. Because to be clear
here, US public media is a global

outlier in how little federal funding it
receives. Even before these cuts,

federal spending amounted to less than
$1 .60 per capita audit, compared to

countries like Norway, Sweden and the
UK, which devote nearly $100 or more.

research shows a positive correlation
between the strength of public media

systems and the health of democracies.

And given that the health of our
democracy is currently best described as

one photo of Prince Philip where he was
in the car, we could use all the public

media funding we can get right now. So,
what can we do? Well, in a universe in

which a competent, effective government
were in place, we'd ideally work on a

long -term fix for the way the CPB's
funded, instead of giving Congress the

power to take its money away every two
years.

we'd institute some kind of tax or
licensing fee that could reliably fund

That is something people have been
recommending since the CPB was first

Sadly, we do not live in that universe
right now. And until we do, public media

is in a dire situation.

Now, fortunately, there's been a big
public push recently to raise money to

support hard -hit stations for as long
as possible. A non -profit called the

Public Media Company has launched an
initiative called the Bridge Funds to

collect and distribute funding to at
-risk local public media stations.

And if you want to give to one directly,
you can find the stations most in need

at adoptastation .org. Meanwhile, others
are finding imaginative ways to raise

money, including just this week, this.

Who doesn't love Bob Ross, right? Three
original paintings by the renowned TV

artist have fetched a total of $662 ,000
at auction. Proceeds of the sale will

support public TV stations, which need
it after recent federal funding cuts.

Yeah, it's true. Apparently, Bob Ross
Inc. is putting paintings like these up

for auction to raise money, and they're
absolutely beautiful.

Look, I am no art connoisseur. My liking
of painting often comes down to whether

or not it features cartoon rats getting
it on. But in...

In this case, I'll happily make an
exception.

Now, I'll be honest, we actually bid on
those paintings, trying to win one so

that we could re -auction it tonight to
benefit public media. Sadly, those

prices were outside of our budget. So we
asked the people at Bob Ross Inc. if

they'd donate another one for us to
auction. They said, very kindly, that's

not something they'd do, otherwise
everyone would ask them all the time and

they'd have no paintings left, which
does make sense.

But then we remembered, we've actually
accumulated a bunch of weird artefacts.

on this show over the years that we
could definitely auction off to raise

much -needed money. So please, come with
me.

Welcome. I am proud to announce, last
week tonight...

First ever auction in aid of public
media. This is real. It will be running

through November 24th. And you can bid
at the website johnoliversjunk .com,

which was inexplicably available.

We have...

Lots of fantastic items up for sale.
Here's just a selected few. Now, our

item's actually been auctioned off
before, because you may remember we once

bought Russell Crowe's jockstrap from
Cinderella Man when he held a, quote,

of divorce auction.

He then used the proceeds to fund a
koala chlamydia ward in Australia in my

name. Well, I'm now happy to say this
life -saving jockstrap can be yours.

Here it is.

It is a priceless piece.

of cinematic history, and it has saved
countless koalas.

Moving on to item number two. Back in
season nine, you may remember that I

married a cabbage in a beautiful non
-denominational ceremony officiated by

Steve Buscemi. Well, and there is no
good way to say this.

My cabbage wife is available for sale.

To the highest bidder, no questions
asked.

As much as it hurts with the splits, we
are doing it for the greater good.

Bidding for her is now open.

Moving on to item number three. And as I
mentioned earlier, these were featured

on our show pretty recently.

LBJ's giant balls.

Just look at these glorious
monstrosities.

If LBJ's presidential library does not
have a home for them, maybe you do.

Because these things could be a real
conversation piece for your living room,

bedroom, studio apartment, or indeed,
nursery.

And keeping with the presidential theme,
we are also auctioning off our wax

presidents, which we bought at an
auction in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, and

in movie parodies with, among others,
Laura Linney and Tom Hanks. But wait.

because I'm still not done here. And to
tell you about some other items up for

auction, here is a man with decades of
experience fundraising for public

television, Mr. Joel McHale.

Thanks, John. As you've seen tonight,
public media is so amazing.

I love it almost as much as I love
British comedy, which is so amazing.

Rowan Atkinson is a genius, and anyone
who thought they could replace him as

Zazu in The Lion King is out of their
fucking mind. That movie was ruined

without him.

Anyway, I'm so excited to tell you about
some of these items, including these

golden sneakers worn by British comedian
John Oliver in a show about FIFA that,

judging by this, aired around 25 years
ago. So amazing.

And because no public media fundraiser
is complete without it, we're also

auctioning off a bidet signed by, and
this is true, the berserker blowfire

Gwar. So amazing.

And finally, and this is my favorite
item, I think everyone knows how excited

am about Rowan Atkinson, the number one
British comedian of all time.

So, we're auctioning off a complete DVD
box set of Mr.

Bean, signed by me, Sir Joel McHale.

Back to you, Seth.

Thank you so much, Joel. All those items
and more are available at

JohnOliversJunk .com with all proceeds
going to the Public Media Bridge Fund.

But wait, there's actually one more
thing here. Because remember when I said

that Bob Ross Inc. never lets people
have paintings to sell? That is true.

never do.

Except incredibly, they've told us
they're willing to make a one -time

for this auction. So we have this.

Actual Bob Ross original up for sale. It
is called...

Cabin at Sunset. He painted it on TV in
1987, and it's been in storage for

nearly 40 years. It is a true
masterpiece, painted by a man, and I'm

to assume, his pocket squirrel peapod.

You can find this painting and many,
many other items, from a case of John

Oliver wine to our giant Reese's mug, as
well as a link to find stations to

donate to directly at johnoliversjunk
.com. That is it. That is our show, and

indeed...

season. Thank you so much for watching
us all year. We truly appreciate it.

We'll see you again in February.

Good night.

Thank you so much.

Please, please bid for her now.

Bid right now.

I'm going to miss you so much.

You're going to a better place.