Original subtitles

[LAUGHS]

>> [EXHALES]

EH, I'M OUT OF HERE.

♪

>> ONE!

SHAKA-LAKA.

TWO!

SHAKA-LAKA.

3!

SHAKA-LAKA.

2... >> [SOBBING] >> 98!

299... 300!

WHOO!

ALL THAT NERD LIFTING'S GOT ME TIRED.

BETTER SAVE MY STRENGTH FOR FOOTBALL TRYOUTS TOMORROW.

>> IRWIN, I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!

>> LEGS?

IT FEELS LIKE MY UNDERPANTS ARE PULLED THROUGH MY BODY!

OH, BILLY.

>> YES, IRWIN?

>> I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

I'M SICK AND TIRED OF BEING TREATED LIKE THIS, AND BESIDES,

I'M RUNNING OUT OF UNSTRETCHED DRAWERS, YO.

>> OOH! OOH!

IRWIN, LOOK!

GO ENDSVILLE FOOTBALL JOIN.

THE TEAM NOW?

THAT'S IT, IRWIN, I KNOW WHAT WE CAN DO!

WE'LL HANG FLYERS!

NOBODY BEATS UP THE FLYER HANGING GUY.

>> AAH!

>> OK, SO, I WAS THINKING, WHAT IF WE WERE.

FOOTBALL PLAYERS?

WE'D BE SO COOL THAT WE'D NEVER GET BEATEN UP AGAIN.

>> OH! OH!

BETTER YET!

WE COULD BE FOOTBALL PLAYERS!

WE'D BE SO COOL THAT WE'D NEVER GET BEATEN UP AGAIN!

>> YEAH!

WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?

>> AHHHH!

SSSSS!

>> PREPARE FOR PAIN, NERDS.

>> I THOUGHT THE POINT WAS NOT TO GET BEAT UP BY BULLIES.

>> THAT'S RIGHT!

OH, WAIT A MINUTE.

MY PLAN TAKES EFFECT ONLY AFTER WE MAKE THE TEAM.

IRWIN, LOOK!

I GOT THE BALL. NOW WHAT?

>> HE HAS THE BALL.

GET HIM!

>> UH-OH!

>> [GRUNTING] >> WHERE'D THE BALL GO?

THE OTHER TWERP'S GOT IT!

NERDALIZE HIM!

>> AAH!

I DON'T WANT THE BALL.

TAKE IT! UHH!

>> HA HA HA HA HA HA.

>> [PANTING] [WHISTLE BLOWS]

>> YOU!

>> I'M SORRY.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, YO.

I JUST GOT HERE AND MY DOCTOR SAYS I'M ALLERGIC TO SPORTS,

AND THEN...

>> DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE?

>> OH, MY GOSH!

I'M SORRY! AAH!

>> SORRY?

YOU BETTER BE SORRY, FOR NOT TELLING ME ABOUT THAT AMAZING

ARM OF YOURS!

>> WIGGITY WHAT?

>> YOU HEARD ME!

AN ARM LIKE THAT WILL TAKE US TO THE PEE-WEE LEAGUE STATE

CHAMPIONSHIPS!

>> FOR REALS?

>> FOR REALS!

SON, I WANT YOU TO BE OUR NEW QUARTERBACK!

>> OOH! WHAT ABOUT ME, COACH?

>> YOU?

YOU CAN HELP TRAIN THE TEAM.

>> ALL RIGHT!

WE'LL FINALLY BE COOL!

>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS, WELCOME TO THE VERY.

FIRST GAME OF THE PEE-WEE LEAGUE.

>> YAY.

>> OH, BOY!

I GET TO TRAIN THE TEAM!

OOH!

EEEE! GOOD ONE, SPERG.

[LAUGHS] ALL RIGHT. WHO'S NEXT?

UHH! MY SPLEEN!

>> THE VIOLENCE, THE SPECTACLE!

ALL WRAPPED UP IN AN ORGANIZED SPORTING EVENT.

>> I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DRAGGED ME TO THIS CIRCUS, GRIM.

OH, NOW LOOK.

THEY'VE BROUGHT OUT THE CLOWNS.

>> ARE YOU READY TO CHEER?

[CRICKETS CHIRPING] READY, OK!

♪ ENDSVILLE, NEVER WINS THE GAME!

EVEN THE PRINCIPAL THINKS WE'RE LAME, SHOOT THE BASKET FROM THE

BASE, IT DOESN'T MATTER CAUSE WE'RE ALWAYS LAST PLACE! ♪

GOOO, ENDSVILLE, YEAH!

>> ALL RIGHT, AS LONG AS I AVOID HAVING THE BALL, I JUST MIGHT.

SURVIVE THIS GAME.

[WHISTLE BLOWS] NO! UHH!

>> THIS KID IS SOMETHING ELSE!

>> OOH!

>> FIRST DOWN!

>> UM, B-B-BLUE 5?

HUT, HUT, ONE, HUT, HUT, TWO, RED HOT JABBA THE HUTT?

>> JUST HIKE THE BALL!

>> HIKE!

>> NOW PASS THE BALL!

>> GO LONG!

FARTHER!

DEEP! DEEP!

YEESH!

>> I'M OK!

>> PASS IT TO SOME OTHER GUY.

NOW YOU RUN!

FASTER!

>> TOUCHDOWN!

ENDSVILLE SCORES!

>> THAT WAS A-MA-ZING!

YOU SINGLE-HANDEDLY COACHED THE ENDSVILLE UNDERDOGS TO THEIR

FIRST EVER TOUCHDOWN!

SCARY GIRL, I WANT YOU TO BE THE NEW CAPTAIN OF THE CHEERLEADERS!

>> THAT'S NOT FAIR!

I'M THE CAPTAIN!

AND IF I GO, I'M TAKING ALL MY GIRLS WITH ME!

>> FINE!

>> MANDY'S WAY BETTER THAN YOU ANYWAY!

>> LISTEN HERE, MANDY, IF YOU BECOME CAPTAIN, I SWEAR, I WILL.

NEVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN.

>> WELL, I CAN'T PASS UP THAT OFFER.

I'll DO IT!

>> OH! RRRR-YOU!

AAH!

[MUTTERING] [WHISTLE BLOWS]

[WHISTLE BLOWS] [WHISTLE BLOWS]

>> MANDY, YOUR UNIQUE CHEERLEADING STYLE HAS LED US.

TO THE STATE CHAMPIONSHIPS.

WELL DONE!

>> UH, THANKS, COACH, I GUESS.

>> YOU KNOW, I'M SO GLAD WE GOT RID OF WHAT'S-HER-FACE... CINDY!

WHAT A LOSER SHE WAS.

ALWAYS BRINGING US DOWN.

>> [SCREAMING INDISTINCTLY] [SOBBING]

>> WHY WON'T COACH KILGORE LET ME BE CAPTAIN?

IT'S JUST NOT FAIR.

>> ♪ HEY THERE, GIRL, DON'T YOU FROWN, TURN THAT SMILE

UPSIDE DOWN! ♪ >> WHAT WAS THAT?

WHO IS THERE?

>> I'M CARRIE ANN, PATRON SAINT OF CHEERLEADERS!

♪ I HEARD YOUR WHINY CHATTER, NOW TELL ME WHAT'S THE MATTER! ♪

>> OH, CARRIE ANN, THIS TOTAL LOSER NAMED MANDY STOLE MY SPOT.

AS CAPTAIN OF THE CHEERLEADERS, AND NOW SHE GETS TO CHEER AT THE

STATE CHAMPIONSHIPS.

NO ONE WILL LOVE ME IF I'M NOT A CHEERLEADER.

I NEED ATTENTION!

MOMMY, WHY WON'T YOU HOLD ME?

[SOBBING] >> ♪ RIGHT NOW, MANDY'S IN THE

TOP PERCENT, BUT WHAT IF SHE HAD AN ACCIDENT? ♪

>> AN ACCIDENT, HUH?

CARRIE ANN, YOU IS TALKIN' CRAZY, AND I THINK I LIKES IT.

[LAUGHTER] >> WELCOME TO THE BIG.

GAME, THE PEE-WEE LEAGUE STATE CHAMPIONSHIPS!

[CROWD CHEERING] >> ALL RIGHT, MANDY, THE OTHER.

TEAM LOOKS TOUGH, BUT AS LONG AS YOU'RE 100%, I THINK WE CAN WIN

THIS CHAMPIONSHIP!

>> JUST STAY OUT OF MY WAY, COACH, AND LET ME DO MY JOB.

>> OK, CARRIE ANN, I'M IN POSITION.

NOW WHAT DO I DO?

>> ♪ I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, SWITCH BOTTLES

WITH WHAT MANDY'S DRINKIN'! ♪ >> WHAT'S THIS?

I DON'T WANT TO POISON HER.

OR SHOULD I?

>> ♪ IT'S NOT POISON, IT'S CHAMOMILE TEA, ONE SIP WILL MAKE

HER SUPER SLEEPY! ♪ GO, SLEEP, GO! WHOO!

>> BOY, AM I THIRSTY.

GOOD THING THERE IS THIS CONVENIENTLY-LOCATED BOTTLE.

HA! [GULPING] >> HEY, BUDDY, CAN WE TAKE A.

SWIG OF THAT?

[GULPING] >> [GULPING]

>> AHH.

>> GET UP! THIS ISN'T NAP TIME!

>> OH, PUT ME IN!

>> HMM, LEMME THINK.

NO WAY!

[INHALES, BLOWS] >> HUH?

[SNORING]

>> WHAT IN TARNATION?

>> [GROANING] >> I HAVE THE WORST LUCK!

UHH.

OK, BILLY, YOU'RE ALL I GOT LEFT.

GET IN THERE!

>> YOU CAN COUNT ON ME, COACH!

HOWDY DO, BUCKAROOS.

>> LISTEN, PUKES, WE ARE THE ONLY 3 PLAYERS LEFT.

ON THE TEAM.

IF YOU HELP ME WIN THIS GAME, I PROMISE I'll NEVER BEAT UP YOU.

MISERABLE DWEEBS AGAIN.

>> IRWIN, THIS IS WHAT WE WANTED ALL ALONG!

>> I KNOW, YO!

>> GIVE ME THAT BALL!

>> NO WAIT, BILLY!

>> SHOTGUN, SET, HIKE!

>> BILLY!

YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!

>> TOUCHDOWN!

>> IT'S ALL TIED UP, FOLKS.

THIS IS ANYONE'S GAME.

>> MANDY, YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING.

BILLY'S GOING TO LOSE THIS WHOLE TEAM FOR US.

>> WHAT ELSE IS NEW?

OK, JERKWADS, THE ONLY WAY YOU'RE GOING TO BEAT THESE GUYS

IS BY RESORTING TO OLD-SCHOOL, CARTOONY SHENANIGANS.

>> IS IT POSSIBLE TO RUIN THIS PART?

>> NOT FROM A FOOTBALL COACH.

>> CARRIE ANN, I'M FREAKING OUT!

THE GAME'S ALMOST OVER, AND I'M STILL NOT HEAD CHEERLEADER!

>> ♪ TO BE RID OF MANDY, THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY, USE A SUPER PLASMA

GAMMA RAY! ♪ GO EVIL SCIENCE, YEAH!

>> OOH, IT'S PINK AND IT MATCHES MY PURSE AND I LIKE IT.

>> YOU GUYS READY?

THIS IS OUR LAST PLAY.

[GULP] [WHISTLE BLOWS]

[WHIMPERING]

[SPITS]

IRWIN, I'M OPEN!

>> OH, I HAVE THE WORST AIM!

>> OH, THAT'S THE GAME!

>> THAT WAS MEANT FOR ME, WASN'T IT?

>> HELLO?

YOU TOTALLY STOLE MY RIGHTFUL SPOT AT CAPTAIN?

>> I GOTTA ADMIT, MINDY, I'M KINDA IMPRESSED THAT YOU WOULD.

GO TO SUCH LENGTHS TO BECOME A CHEERLEADER AGAIN.

>> REALLY?

>> I THINK YOU DESERVE YOUR JOB BACK.

>> OH, MANDY.

GIMME THOSE!

OH, MY SWEET BABIES, WELCOME BACK TO MOMMA.

OH, I CAN'T WAIT TO START CHEERING AGAIN AND... HEY,

WAIT A MINUTE.

FOOTBALL SEASON'S OVER!

AAH!

>> OOH!

WE CAN TRY OUT FOR TENNIS!

>> [SOBBING]

>> [LAUGHING]

OOH!

HEY! HEY! HEY!

MY KITE!

OOH, OOH, OW!

STUPID LOUSY DIRTY MASTER STINKY ROTTEN POOPY CRUDDY TREE!

HEY! NO FAIR!

>> [WHISTLING] >> I JUST LOVE A PICNIC.

WHO DOESN'T LOVE A PICNIC?

>> MANDY!

[SOBBING] >> WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?

>> TREES, MANDY.

TREES ARE EVIL.

THEY SHOULD NOT BE TRUSTED.

>> SO YOU GOT YOUR KITE STUCK IN A TREE?

>> AN EVIL TREE.

>> OH, DON'T BE SO STUPID, STUPID.

JUST THROW SOMETHING UP THERE AND KNOCK THE KITE

OUT OF THE TREE.

>> ANYBODY GOT A CHAINSAW?

>> COME ON, THERE'S PLENTY OF JUNK AROUND HERE WE CAN USE.

>> READY?

ARE YOU READY, BOY?

>> GIVE ME THAT BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF.

>> HEY!

>> DON'T FRET, PUD'N.

WE'LL BRING IT RIGHT BACK, BROTHER.

THERE'S MY KITE, MANDY.

WAY UP THERE.

>> STAND BACK.

>> YOU GO, GIRL!

>> [GASP] MY THROWY THINGY!

>> NEVER SAY, "YOU GO, GIRL!" >> I WANT MY THROWY THINGY!

>> MAYBE SOMEONE WOULD LIKE TO JOIN IT.

>> AAH!

>> RIGHT!

>> WHAT THE... NOT ME, YOU DOPE.

>> OOPS.

DON'T WORRY, MANDY.

I'll GET SOMETHING TO KNOCK YOU DOWN.

>> WONDERFUL.

>> EMERGENCY!

>> HEY!

[DOG BARKING] >> [WHISTLING]

>> [LAUGHS]

>> GRIM, QUICK!

USE YOUR SCYTHE ON IT.

TORCH IT, MAYBE, OR CHOP IT LIMB FROM LIMB.

GO AHEAD, GRIM.

KICK SOME TREE BUTT!

>> ALL RIGHT BILLY, BUT THIS IS THE LAST TIME I SAVE YOU.

FROM A TREE.

I'M AFRAID MY POWERS ARE USELESS HERE, BILLY.

THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH NATURE IN THAT TREE.

THIS IS A JOB FOR A DRUID.

>> WHAT THE HECK IS A DRUID?

>> DRUIDS ARE DOWN WITH ALL THAT NATURE MUMBO-JUMBO.

THEY TALK TO TREES.

>> WELL, I HOPE HE'S REALLY HAIRY.

>> I AM BASIL TARRAGON OF THE HIGH ORDER OF THE WILTED SHRUB.

SO, HAVE YOU COME TO LEARN NATURE'S MYSTERIES?

>> THE HORRIBLE TREE STOLE MY KITE, KIDNAPPED MANDY,

AND ATE A WIENER DOG!

>> THAT'S PREPOSTEROUS, BOY.

TREES ARE OUR FRIENDS.

REMEMBER, EVERY PLANT AND ANIMAL IN NATURE LOVES YOU.

>> HE'S A DRUID, ALL RIGHT.

>> THERE IS AN ANCIENT DRUIDIC RITUAL THAT WILL GET YOUR FRIEND.

OUT OF THAT TREE, BUT THE RITUAL IS DIFFICULT AND IT TAKES

3 DRUIDS TO PERFORM.

>> BUT WHEREVER WILL WE GET TWO MORE DRUIDS, MR. BASIL?

>> I VOLUNTEER YOU, AND YOU.

YOU TWO MUST LEARN TO LOVE NATURE, AND BECOME DRUIDS, OR

YOUR FRIEND WILL BE TRAPPED IN THE TREE FOREVER!

>> HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, GUYS.

THIS IS WHERE WE WERE BEFORE!

LET'S FACE IT.

WE'RE LOST.

>> IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID COMPASS.

IT DOESN'T HAVE UP AND DOWN!

>> COURSE NOT, DOOFUS!

YOU NEED A THERMOMETER!

>> I'M HUNGRY.

>> HUH?

>> YOU'RE DOING A FINE JOB, BOYS.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

>> WHOA.

>> COME ON.

>> HMM, LOOKS LIKE THE SUN'S GOING DOWN, AND I'M NOT SLEEPING.

IN A FILTHY OLD TREE ALL NIGHT.

HERE WE GO.

[RINGS DOORBELL] >> [CHATTERING]

>> YEAH, YEAH, CUT THE CHATTER AND TAKE A HIKE,

YOU LITTLE RODENT.

I'M MOVING IN.

DID I SAY RODENT?

EASY, NOW.

DON'T MAKE ME GO GREYSTOKE ON YOUR FURRY BUTTS.

>> [SNARLING]

NICE TIMING, BOYS.

>> [CHATTERING] >> HEY, CHECK OUT ALL THE CUTE.

LITTLE SQUIRRELS.

>> [SCREAMING INDISTINCTLY] >> TAKE THAT, FURBALL!

>> EAT THIS, YOU LITTLE NUTCRACKER!

>> YOU SQUIRRELS, KEEP IT DOWN OUT THERE!

>> HUH?

[ALL SHOUTING AT ONCE] >> GO ON, BEAT IT,

YOU FURRY FREAKS.

LET'S SEE WHAT THESE SQUIRRELS GET ON CABLE.

>> ...NUTS ABOUT YOU, BABY.

>> THE FIRST STEP IN LEARNING TO LOVE NATURE IS LEARNING.

TO EAT NATURE.

HARVEST FROM THE GREAT BOUNTY OF NATURE.

>> ARE YOU JOKING?

>> AROUND HERE, WE CALL THAT PRIMORDIAL STEW!

MY FAVORITE'S THE WIGGLY PARTS.

EAT UP, BOY.

>> [GULPING]

I CAN ALREADY FEEL NATURE'S BENEFITS.

[LAUGHS] ERK!

MUST BE ALLERGIC TO NATURE.

>> THERE'S NO WAY THAT BLOWHARD IS GETTING ME TO EAT BUGS AND.

SWAMP MUCK, NOT WHEN THERE'S PORK CHOPS.

[OINKING] GOTCHA!

AHA!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

AAH!

>> NOW, THAT'S THE SPIRIT, GRIM!

WASTE NOT, WANT NOT, I ALWAYS SAY.

I WILL NOW DEMONSTRATE HOW TO TALK TO A TREE.

NOW, LISTEN UP, YOU WORM-EATEN PUKE, DON'T GIVE ME ANY GUFF

OR I'll FEED YOU TO THE WOOD CHIPPER!

>> WHOA!

>> SO WHAT DID THE TREE SAY?

OW!

>> TREES DON'T TALK!

NOW, FOR YOUR FINAL TASK, YOU WILL LEARN TO TAKE THE FORM

OF YOUR SPIRIT ANIMAL.

I WILL NOW DEMONSTRATE.

[GROWLS] >> AAH!

OOPS!

JUST REMEMBER THAT WHEN YOU'RE IN THE ANIMAL STATE, YOU MAY

EXPERIENCE AN INCREDIBLE BLOOD LUST!

AND NOW YOU DO IT, GRIM.

>> ME? >> SURE!

NOTHING TO IT.

JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES AND CONCENTRATE.

NOW, WHAT DO YOU SEE?

>> I SEE A FROZEN WASTELAND AND THERE'S A PENGUIN.

>> SLIDE!

>> SLIDE.

>> NOW BECOME YOUR SPIRIT ANIMAL.

>> I DID IT!

WAIT A MINUTE.

MY SPIRIT ANIMAL IS A PENGUIN?

I WAS HOPING FOR A TYRANNOSAURUS.

>> YOUR TURN, BILLY.

CLOSE YOUR EYES AND CONCENTRATE.

NOW, TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE.

>> I SEE A BEAUTIFUL MEADOW, WITH FLOWERS AND BUTTERFLIES!

AND BUNNIES!

AND A MOOSE!

AND LIONS! AND UNICORNS!

AND ROBOTS!

AND... WAIT, OH, WAIT, I SEE A LIGHT!

I LOST MY SPIRIT ANIMAL.

>> NO TIME FOR THAT.

COME, WE MUST PERFORM THE DRUID RITUAL DURING THE STORM!

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU DRUIDS OF THE ORDER OF THE WILTED SHRUB!

[LAUGHS] NOW WE ARE READY TO FACE THE OAK

TREE AND RESCUE YOUR KITE.

>> ARE YOU READY, MEN?

CHARGE!

>> AAH! [CRASH]

>> YOU CAN HAVE THIS DUMP.

>> [CHATTERING]

>> SHE'S GOOD.

>> OH, YEAH.

>> COME ON, MEN.

>> THERE'S A LOT OF NATURE IN THAT TREE.

>> THERE'S A LOT OF NATURE IN MY PANTS.

>> ALL RIGHT, BOYS, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.

LET THE RITUAL BEGIN!

SING THE ANCIENT SONG OF THE DRUIDS!

>> [ALL SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

>> I DON'T THINK IT'S WORKING.

>> YEP, WOULD'VE WORKED BETTER WITH A CHAINSAW.

[WHIRRING]

>> WHAT'S GOING ON?

>> MANDY!

HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF THE EVIL TREE?

>> IT'S JUST A TREE, DOOFUS.

I CLIMBED OUT.

AND I BROUGHT A FEW THINGS BACK THAT I GOT FORM THE SQUIRRELS.

>> MY KITE!

PUD'N'S THROWY THINGY!

[DOG BARKING] >> SO, YOU SEE, BILLY, THAT TREE.

ISN'T EVIL AT ALL.

NOW I HAVE TO GO SHOW SOME SCOUTS HOW TO TIE A KNOT.

>> TIMBER!

YES, YES, YES!

>> FREEZE!

>> OFFICER, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

IT WAS THAT KID!

THE CHAINSAW WAS ALL HIS IDEA, I'M TELLING YOU.

>> YEAH, YEAH.

TELL IT TO THE JUDGE.

>> NOW I'll PROBABLY NEVER FIND MY SPIRIT ANIMAL.

>> IT AIN'T ALL THAT.

>> I GOTS TO TRY, JUST ONE MORE TIME.

[GRUNTING]

HOLY CRUD!

HE'S FINALLY HERE!

MY SPIRIT ANIMAL.

OOH, AHH!

>> BILLY?

>> [LAUGHS]

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE. www.ncicap.org... ]

♪♪♪