Original subtitles

♪♪

[LAUGHTER]

♪♪

HAPPINESS IS A WAXEN TWO-HEADED BABY

CATCH, IRWIN!

RECESS IS GREAT.

WE CAN STUDY THE EFFECTS OF GRAVITY AND HAVE FUN, TOO.

LESS TALKING, MORE BALL-THROWING.

[GRUNTS]

Billy: YAY!

SAY, THIS GRAVDITY HAS MADE THE BALL ALL DIRTY.

I'll HAVE TO CLEAN IT.

GOOD, CLEAN FUN... HEE HEE HEE...

WITH MY FRIENDS.

MY VERY BEST FRIENDS.

HOO! EEEEE!

IT'S SPERG AND HIS DEADLY WEDGIE.

YOU COULD BE NEXT, BILLY.

OOH! NEXT?

OH!

WHY DID I PICK TODAY TO WEAR UNDERWEAR?

YOU GOT A PROBLEM, WUSS?

UH, COULD YOU STOP PICKING ON MY FRIEND,

PLEASE?

OR WHAT?

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

WE'LL FINISH THIS AFTER SCHOOL.

SPERG RULES!

NICE COMEBACK, BILLY.

THANKS FOR NOTHING.

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[ELASTIC SNAP] Billy: AAAH...

[BIRDS SQUAWKING]

[MUSIC ON TV]

I WARNED YOU TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.

I... HURT IN PLACES THAT DON'T EXIST.

LET ME TELL YOU WHAT MY MAMA ONCE TOLD ME

WHEN I HAD BULLY PROBLEMS.

OOH! A STORY! A STORY!

MMM. HEE HEE HEE HEE!

VERY WELL.

THESE BULLIES... THEY THREW THINGS AT ME

AND CALLED ME NAMES.

BONEHEAD!

AND MY MAMA TOLD ME...

STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK YOUR BONES,

BUT NAMES WILL NEVER HURT YOU.

NOW, GO, MY SON.

GEE, THANKS, PAL.

STICKS AND STONES! STICKS AND STONES!

DOES THAT STICKS AND STONES THING REALLY WORK?

NO.

I GOT AN IDEA, MANDY.

LET'S WALK ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET.

DON'T BE SUCH A COWARD.

WELL?

STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES,

BUT NAMES WILL NEVER HURT ME!

YEAH HEH HEH HEH HEH!

NOT A PROBLEM.

GRIM!

WHAT IS IT, BILLY?

STICKS AND STONES, GRIM.

IT... IT DOESN'T WORK!

WELL, WHAT DO YOU TO DO ABOUT IT?

YOU KNOW THAT THING THAT YOU DO THAT YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO ANYMORE?

UH...

THE THING WITH THE SCYTHE AND THE SWINGING.

KNOW. [CLUCKS]

HEE HEE HEE HEE!

I WANT YOU TO DO IT!

THERE HE IS, GRIM.

SIC HIM, BOY!

HEE HA HA HA!

WHO'S YOUR LADY FRIEND, WUSS?

[WIND HOWLING]

I AM THE GRIM REAPER!

[LAUGHING DIABOLICALLY]

[DEEP VOICE] ARE YOU READY TO MEET YOUR DOOM?

YOU... YOU... YOU... YOU'RE A REAL BONEHEAD!

BONEHEAD? [CRYING]

HA HA HA HA!

THIS IS GETTING EMBARRASSING.

I'll HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THIS MYSELF.

[SLURPING]

OH!

DOES THE BABY LIKE HIS MILK?

[CRYING]

AH!

Mandy: HEY, SPERG!

I GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU.

Sperg: WELL, WELL, WELL!

IF IT ISN'T THE WUSSY SQUAD

WITH A NEW MEMBER...

SALLY TEACUP! HA HA HA HA!

WHY DON'T YOU SAY THAT A LITTLE CLOSER?

UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU'RE CHICKEN.

ARE YOU CALLING ME CHICKEN?

YEAH!

AND I EAT CHICKENS FOR BREAKFAST.

I'll MAKE YOU REGRET THAT!

BRING IT ON.

[ALL MURMURING]

YAAAAH...

WELL?

I'M AFRAID OF YOU!

[WAILING]

WELL, THAT TAKES CARE OF THAT.

AW, DID YOU HAVE TO BE SO HARD ON HIM?

SPERG! WAIT UP!

GEE, SPERG,

SORRY ABOUT YOU BEING A CHICKEN AND ALL.

ALL I EVER WANTED WAS TO BE LOVED,

TO CARE, TO BE CARED FOR!

[SOBBING]

HERE.

THANKS.

[BLOWS LOUDLY]

LET'S... BE... FRIENDS!

REALLY?

EVEN AFTER ALL THOSE WEDGIES?

FRIENDSHIP IS BETTER THAN WEDGIES!

[BOTH LAUGHING]

AAAH!

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT

GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE. www.ncicap.org...

Grim: OH, POOH.

WHAT IS IT NOW, GRIM?

WELL, IT'S JUST THAT

WHEN YOU SAID WE WERE GOING TO A MALL,

I THOUGHT YOU MEANT WE WOULD SEE PEOPLE

BEING TORN LIMB FROM LIMB BY A FEROCIOUS BEAST.

NOT THIS!

DON'T GET YOUR ROBE IN A BUNCH.

WE'RE ONLY HERE TO GET BILLY SOME SOCKS.

SOCKS SOCKS SOCKS SOCKS SOCKS!

SOCKS SOCKS SOCKS SOCKS SOCKS!

WHERE'S THE SOCKS?! GIVE ME THE SOCKS!

I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND

HOW A BOY CAN WEAR THROUGH SO MANY PAIRS OF SOCKS.

UH, HE DOESN'T WEAR THEM, HE EATS THEM.

BUT... OH, NEVER MIND.

I REALLY DON'T THINK I WANT TO KNOW.

DUH, SOCKS AHOY!

GANG WAY!

UHH... SWEET MAMA.

HEY, HOW ABOUT SOME TACOS?

NO.

ERIS.

ERIS? WHAT THE HECK KIND OF FOOD IS THAT?

NO, NOT FOOD... GODDESS.

[SCREAMING]

SO, WHO IS THIS ERIS?

SHE BE ERIS, GODDESS OF DISCORD AND CHAOS.

SHE'S HOT.

WELL, DON'T LOOK NOW, CASANOVA,

HERE SHE COMES.

OH, HOW DO ME LOOK?

IS MY HAIR OK?

DOES MY BREATH SMELL?

WHAT DO ME DO?

OH, WHAT SHOULD ME SAY?

I THINK ME GOING TO FAINT.

GRIM, JUST ACT COOL.

RIGHT.

HEY, GRIM.

HOW YOU DOING?

YOU KNOW, LIKE TOTALLY TUBULAR.

THAT'S MALL TALK FOR GOOD.

SO, WHEN DID YOU HAVE A KID?

UH, WHAT KID?

I AM NOT GRIM'S KID.

I AM MANDY.

AND I TRICKED YOUR PAL GRIM HERE

INTO BEING MY BEST FRIEND AND TOADY FOR ALL TIME.

LIKE, IS THAT SO?

LIKE, YES, IT IS.

OH, MY GOSH, YOU'RE THIS KID'S PET?!

KINDA.

THAT IS, LIKE, SO TOTALLY RADICAL!

[HIGH-PITCHED HUMMING]

THAT IS SO TOTALLY GNARLY

THAT YOU TRICKED OLD GRIMMY INTO BEING YOUR BEST FRIEND!

FOREVER!

DON'T RUB IT IN.

WOULD YOU CARE TO JOIN ME

IN CAUSING SOME CHAOS AND DESTRUCTION?

YES, YES, I WOULD.

LIKE, FAR OUT.

OH, UH, ERIS?

LIKE, YEAH?

WOULDN'T YOU RATHER, UM,

LIKE, GET A MILK SHAKE OR SOMETHING WITH ME?

GRIM, ARE YOU, LIKE, TOTALLY HITTING ON ME?

WELL, I... OH, LIKE, GROTTY TO THE MAX.

YOU ARE SO, LIKE, BAG YOUR FACE,

GAG ME WITH A SPOON, GNARLY.

SO, IS THAT A YES?

GRIM, LIKE, DON'T YOU KNOW I AM, LIKE,

TOTALLY AFTER, LIKE, ONE GUY?

WHO THAT? HIM!

Grim: OH, OF COURSE... ADONIS.

HOW CLICHE.

WELL, WHAT THAT GUY GOT THAT I DON'T GOT?!

LIKE, UH, SKIN FOR STARTERS.

LIKE, LATER.

YEAH, LIKE, LATER.

AHH... YEAH, LIKE, LATER.

[SNIFF]

RIPE.

NOW, THEN,

THE FIRST AND ONLY RULE OF DOING THIS IS

EVERYBODY IS A TARGET.

TAKE, FOR EXAMPLE, THAT GUY.

AN INNOCENT... THE PERFECT MARK.

BEHOLD, THE GOLDEN APPLE,

SOURCE OF ALL MY CHAOTIC MAGIC.

NOW, A SIMPLE TOSS OF THE APPLE AND...

ADEQUATE.

HAND IT OVER.

AAH!

VIOLA.

HMM, SKATEBOARD RIDE

INTO PERPETUAL FALL DOWN UP ESCALATOR.

NOT BAD, NOT BAD.

YES, THAT'S COMEDY.

HMM... I SEE TARGET.

WHERE?

LIKE, RIGHT HERE, BABY!

FIRST RULE, BABY... EVERYBODY IS A TARGET.

AH HA HA HA HA.

[GROWLS]

I ADMIT,

IT WAS, LIKE, A TOTALLY LONG SET UP

BUT TOTALLY WORTH IT.

LIKE, SO LONG, SUCKER! HA HA HA.

SHE GET YOU.

YEP.

HEY, GUYS,

I FINISHED MY GROCERY SHOPPING!

WHAT DO YOU...

HEY, WHAT'S WRONG WITH GRIM?

HE WAS DISSED BY ERIS,

GODDESS OF DISCORD AND CHAOS.

EW! GRIM'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND!

GRIM'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND!

♪ GRIM AND ERIS SITTING IN A TREE ♪

♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G

K-I-S-S-I-N-G... THAT'S IT.

HEY, GUYS, WANT TO GO SEE A MOVIE?

MOVIE!

WHATEVER.

GOOD. I'll MEET YOU THERE.

HEY, ERIS.

BACK FOR MORE ABUSE, PAPOOSE?

ACTUALLY, I JUST RAN INTO ADONIS

IN THE MOVIE THEATER.

HE SAID THAT HE, LIKE, TOTALLY DIGS YOU,

AND IF YOU FEEL THE SAME,

YOU SHOULD MEET HIM IN THERE.

TOTALLY.

ADONIS?!

OH, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?!

ADONIS?

IT SURE IS DARK IN HERE.

I HOPE I CAN FIND... OH, THERE HE IS.

I'D RECOGNIZE HIS SUAVE LOCKS ANYWHERE.

LIKE, HEY, ADONIS, BABE, HOW ABOUT KISS?

AAH!

AAH!

[PANTING]

LIKE, FIRST RULE, ERIS.

AAH!

FIRST RULE... I RULE.

YOU OK, BONEHEAD?

I'VE NEVER WASHED THIS CHEEKBONE.

NOW I NEVER WILL.

EWW, KISSING IS GROSS!

ANYONE FOR A HOT-BUTTERED SWEAT SOCK?

[HUMMING]

AH.

Billy: HI, GRIM.

OOH!

NO! YOU ARE NOT TO TOUCH THIS BOOK.

IT IS NOT MEANT FOR THE EYES OF THE LIVING.

IS THE OFFICIAL ILLUSTRATED HANDBOOK OF THE UNDERWORLD.

[SIGHS]

Mandy: GRIM.

IT'S TIME FOR THAT MANICURE YOU PROMISED ME.

LET'S GO.

WHAT, NOW?

BUT I WAS JUST GETTING INTO MY... NOW.

[SIGHS]

FINE.

[GRUMBLING] EVERY TIME I TRY TO DO SOMETHING AROUND HERE...

HEE HEE HEE!

LATER, BILLY.

YEAH! WAHOO!

AHH!

OOH!

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

[GRUMBLING] "GRIM, GIVE ME A MANICURE."

EVERY TIME I TRY TO DO SOMETHING...

MM-HMM.

UH-HUH.

ADEQUATE.

NEXT.

[BILLY YELLS]

THAT SOUNDED LIKE BILLY.

HIS BUTT MUST BE STUCK IN THE COOKIE JAR AGAIN.

THE BAD BOOK!

STUPID BOY.

HE'S PROBABLY FINE.

YOU, RIDICULOUS HOODED ONE.

GIVE ME YOUR SCYTHE.

HUH? MY SCYTHE? WHAT FOR?

I REQUIRE IT TO OPEN AN INTERDIMENSIONAL PORTAL

THAT I MAY SUMMON MY MASTER, YOGG SAWHAW.

YOGG SAWHAW?

IS THAT SOME SORT OF YOGURT?

FOOL! HE IS AN ENTITY FAR BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION.

YOU WILL GIVE ME THE SCYTHE.

I WILL DO NO SUCH THING, BILLY.

THEN... SUFFER.

[WHISTLING]

BOY, YOU SURE SHOWED HIM.

I MUST GET THE BOOK BACK SO I CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO FIX THIS.

OBVIOUSLY, BILLY'S TOO POWERFUL FOR YOU TO TAKE ON NOW, GRIM.

ALONE, ANYWAY.

[RINGING]

HELLO? YEAH.

COME ON OVER.

WHO ARE YOU CALLING?

WHAT ARE YOU UP TO NOW?

NOTHING, YOU LUNATIC.

[CHAIN SAW BUZZING]

LIAR.

MM-HMM.

MMM!

MM-HMM.

HA HA HA HA!

HA HA HA HA!

OH, HAROLD.

EH?

HUH?

YAH!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

[SMACK]

OHH.

[YELLS]

THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM, PRINCESS.

HA HA HA HA!

TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH THE LIVING.

[SCREAMING]

HOSS, THIS IS NOT WHAT I CALLED YOU FOR.

GRIM IS NOT THE PROBLEM.

HUH.

WELL, WHAT IS THE PROBLEM THEN?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE THAT.

SO, IT'S NOT NORMALLY LIKE THAT, HUH?

YOU KIDS STAY CLOSE BEHIND ME.

I'll DO THE TALKING.

ALL RIGHT, EVIL. THERE'S A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN.

EWW. OH, YEAH. THIS DEFINITELY LOOKS LIKE THE WORK OF YOGG.

YOGG IS A SUPERNATURAL BEING FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION.

BAD STUFF'S GOING TO GO DOWN.

Billy: AH HA HA HA HA!

LOOK BELOW.

[YELLING]

HUH?

OHH.

HA HA HA HA!

YOU'LL SOON LEARN RESPECT, LITTLE ONE.

HUH?

THE ONLY WAY TO SEAL THE PORTAL IS TO THROW THE BOOK ITSELF INTO IT.

HA HA HA HA!

OK. LATER, BILLY.

[BILLY YELLS]

[GROANS]

GREAT WORK, KID.

YOU SAVED THE WHOLE WORLD FROM TOTAL DESTRUCTION.

YOU DO, UH, REALIZE THAT YOU'VE SENTENCED BILLY

TO AN ETERNITY IN ANOTHER DIMENSION THOUGH, RIGHT?

WE ALL HAVE TO MAKE SACRIFICES.

THEY DIDN'T WANT ME.

WELL, I GUESS THAT MAKES YOU A TOTAL LOSER.

HA HA HA HA HA.

[GRIM, HOSS LAUGHING]

HA HA HA.

I AM A LOSER.

♪♪