Original subtitles

HaHaHaHa!

AVERT YOUR EYES.

AAH!

SPENCER, YOU'RE BACK!

AAH!

I KNOW. I LOVE YOU, TOO,

BUT IT'S A FORBIDDEN LOVE.

WHAT? NO!

Woman: WHAT WILL WE DO?

Spencer: AAH!

YEAH. I'll LOVE YOU FOREVER!

NO! EAT HER! DON'T HUG HER!

AAH!

I AM A MUMMY MADE OUT OF TOILET PAPER.

HEE HEE HEE HEE! SPOOKY, HUH?

I CAN'T SEE!

HOLD STILL. OK.

HI. IT'S ME AGAIN...

ATROCIA, YOUR PERSONAL HOSTESS OF HORROR,

BRINGING YOU AN ALL-NIGHT HALLOWEEN SCARATHON.

ATROCIA, YOU'VE STOLEN MY HEART.

GOOD THING I'VE GOT 3 OR 4 MORE IN THE FREEZER.

AAH!

LET'S GO GET SOME CANDY, PEOPLE.

HEY, MANDY, WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?

I AM A RUTHLESS,

HIGH-PRICED PROSECUTING ATTORNEY.

THEN, WHAT'S WITH THE CLAWS?

THEY'RE FOR RENDING HUMAN FLESH.

[IMITATING GHOST HOWLING]

AAH!

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

HO HO HO! HO HO HO!

THIS HOUSE IS TOO SCARY.

BAH! YOU WOULDN'T KNOW SCARY

IF IT CAME UP AND ATE YOUR FACES OFF.

OVERDONE IS BOUND TO HAVE JUMBO CANDY BARS.

JUMBO CANDY BARS?!

TRICK OR TREAT!

WHY DON'T YOU STAY HERE WITH YOUR COUSIN?

I THINK YOU'RE A LITTLE TOO OLD FOR TRICK-OR-TREATING.

[SCOFFS]

ATROCIA?

MMM. CHICKEN WING!

HEY! THAT OTHER GUY IS MOVING IN ON MY LADY.

ONE MORE HOUSE, THEN STRAIGHT TO BED, GREGORY.

THANKS, MOMMY.

EXCUSE ME. DO YOU HAVE A BANDAGE?

BECAUSE I SCRAPED MY KNEE FALLING FOR YOU.

AAH!

I... I THOUGHT YOU WERE SOMEBODY ELSE. I...

GREGORY, YOU SCARED THE CANNOLI OUT OF ME.

OH! NOW, LET'S GET YOU INTO BED, SWEETIE.

BUT YOU LOOKED LIKE ATROCIA, AND...

EXCELLENT. 2 BLAMMO BARS AND A SOUR BEEFY.

I GOT THE ROCK.

HEY, WHERE'S GRIM?

THERE HE IS.

HEY, GRIM. LET'S GO, BUDDY.

I'M YOUR BUDDY?

YEAH! WE'RE AMIGOS FOREVER, REMEMBER?

BILLY, THAT'S NOT GRIM.

OH, GRIM'S MY BESTEST FRIEND!

WHATEVER.

YOU'RE HURTING ME.

♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪

OOH, I LOVE BUBBLES!

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

OH, GREGORY, HONEY,

ARE YOU ALMOST DONE WITH YOUR BATHY-WATHY, GREGGY-WEGGY?

OH!

GIVE ME A MINUTE, WOMAN.

THIS SO-CALLED BATHING IS KIND OF ENJOYABLE.

HEY, MANDY, GRIM'S BETTER THAN EVER.

THAT'S NOT GRIM.

GRIM GAVE ME A CANDY BAR.

WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE THAT'S GRIM?

YES!

UH, I'M JUST WONDERING HOW GRIM GOT SO SHORT.

BUT HE'S GOT A SCARY FACE JUST LIKE GRIM'S,

SO I WIN. HE'S GRIM.

I HOPE MY LITTLE MAN'S ALL NICE AND CLEAN.

LOOK, LADY. I'M NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM.

NOW, GREGORY, DON'T YOU WANT TO TAKE THAT MASK OFF

WHILE I READ YOU A BEDTIME STORY?

BEDTIME STORY?

OH, CAN I WEAR IT JUST A BIT LONGER?

WELL, IT IS HALLOWEEN.

YAY!

MOMMY LOVES HER LITTLE MUNCHKIN.

YES, SHE DOES.

OK. I'll TRADE YOU ONE CHOCOLATE EAR.

FOR 2 TWIZZLE POPS.

OOH! OOH! GIVE IT HERE!

SINCE YOU ARE NOW GRIM

AND THEREFORE HAVE NO STOMACH,

I CLAIM ALL OF YOUR CANDY.

[SOBBING]

AW, SEE WHAT YOU DID, MANDY?

YOU MADE GRIM CRY.

I'll LET YOU KNOW WHEN I START TO CARE.

[CRYING]

HMM.

I KNOW SOMETHING THAT WOULD CHEER HIM UP! HEAD FOOTBALL!

HUH?

AND BILLY GOES BACK FOR THE PASS!

Mandy: BILLY. HUH?

[SOBBING]

GRIM CUT OFF SOME KID'S HEAD AND STUCK IT ON HIS SHOULDERS!

"POODIE AND YUM YUM LOVED ALL THE ANIMALS IN THE WORLD.

"THEY LOVED ELEPHANTS, BUNNIES, AND CHICKENS,

"AND EVEN THE LOWLY GIRAFFE.

THE END."

I LOVE YOU, GREGORY.

I... I LOVE YOU, TOO... MOMMY.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

OH, DEAR. MORE TRICK-OR-TREATERS.

Mandy: EXCUSE ME. DOES THIS BELONG TO YOU?

AAH!

MOMMY!

GREGORY! BUT I... BUT YOU...

BUT... BUT IF YOU'RE GREGORY, THEN WHO IS...

AAH! AAH!

Atrocia: WELL, BOYS AND GHOULS,

IT JUST GOES TO SHOW NO MATTER HOW MUCH

OF A TERRIBLE, UGLY MONSTER YOU ARE,

YOU CAN ALWAYS FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE YOU.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, KIDDIES.

HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE SHOW.

BAH, HUMBUG!

6, 7, 8.

HEE HEE!

OH, YEAH! HEE HEE! YAY!

I WIN! I WIN!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I WON!

[CLUCKS, KISS KISS KISS]

MMM! IT'S MINE. IT'S MINE.

LOOK, MANDY. LOOK WHAT I'VE GOT.

I'll BET YOU'RE JEALOUS. LOOK AT YOU.

YOU'RE SO JEALOUS THAT YOUR EYES HURT SO MUCH

THAT THEY'RE ABOUT TO EXPLODE ON THE INSIDE,

LEAVING YOU PHYSICALLY SCARRED

LIKE SOME PUS-FILLED MONSTER BLINDED FOR LIFE

FROM THE JEALOUSY YOU HAVE FOR ME!

IN FACT, ALL THE SMARTEST SCIENTISTS IN THE WORLD WOULDN'T BE AB...

IT MEANS YOU GO TO JAIL.

WHAT?

[CRYING]

GO TO JAIL?

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO JAIL.

YOU MEAN, I DON'T GET A BIG HOUSE?

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I'll GET IT.

[GASPS]

UH, HONEY.

YOU'RE BACK.

ARE YOU FEELING OK?

I'M WONDERFUL. NEVER BEEN BETTER.

I JUST NEEDED A LITTLE VACATION

AFTER MY SKELETON EPISODE.

DEAR,

THERE'S SOMEONE I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET.

THIS IS BILLY'S FRIEND GEORGE...

OR GRIMY OR SOMETHING.

[WHIMPERS]

[ROARS]

PLEASED TO MEET YOU, GRIM.

THIS FOOD LOOKS MEDIOCRE.

WHY, THANK YOU, MANDY.

SO HOW WAS SCHOOL TODAY?

YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED.

[MOUTH FULL] THIS KID HAS THIS SPECIAL...

[MUFFLED]

BUT SHE DIDN'T LISTEN. HEE HEE HEE.

[MOUTH FULL] HE TOOK ONE BITE

AND SPIT IT ALL OVER THIS WALL.

EVERYONE STARTED LAUGHING AT HIM.

HA HA HA HA!

THE JANITORS TRIED TO SCRAPE IT OFF, BUT COULDN'T!

HA HA HA HA!

BILLY SAYS IT WAS OK.

[GROWLS]

[SWEETLY] MIND YOUR MANNERS.

PLEASE ASK FOR SOMEONE TO PASS THE SALT.

MANDY, PLEASE PASS THE SALT?

SO THEN ONE JANITOR SAID,

"THIS LOOKS LIKE A TOUGH ONE." HEE HEE!

SO ALL THE KIDS STARTED EATING IT OFF THE WALL.

[SLURPS]

AFTER, ALL THE KIDS GOT SICK,

BUT NOT ME, AND I EVEN WENT FOR SECONDS.

I GUESS I SHOWED THEM. HEE HEE! [SLURPS]

YAAAH!

WE DON'T PUT OUR ELBOWS ON THE TABLE.

I STILL THINK YOUR MOM'S CRACKED.

LIKE THE BACK END OF A PLUMBER.

HONESTLY, MAN, I THINK THE WOMAN HAS IT OUT FOR ME.

LOOK, BILLY,

SOMEONE'S SCARED OF YOUR BIG BAD MOM.

GRIM'S ABOUT AS GRIM AS ONE OF THOSE MARSHMALLOW BUNNIES.

HEE HEE HEE! CUT THAT OUT!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

♪ GRIM'S A BIG BABY, GRIM'S A BIG BABY ♪

HEE HEE HEE!

YOU'RE BOTH BEING OBNOXIOUS.

SCARED OF BILLY'S MOM.

THAT'S PREPOSTEROUS

I WOULD BE TERRIFIED OF ANYBODY'S MOTHER,

BUT THAT'S JUST LAME.

I'M GOING TO THE KITCHEN TO GET A GLASS OF WATER.

Mom: HELLO, GRIMY.

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU.

IT'S PAYBACK TIME

FOR CHASING ME OUT OF MY HOUSE!

BUT...

STAY AWAY FROM MY BABY!

HE'S ALLERGIC TO THE UNDEAD.

UH, MADAM, I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND... OOH!

OW! DO YOU KNOW WHERE THAT MOP HAS BEEN?

FOOLISH MORTAL.

I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW WHO I AM.

LET ME GIVE YOU A HINT.

[TEETH CHATTER]

Grim: ASK NOT FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS.

IT TOLLS FOR THEE.

LET'S KICK IT UP A NOTCH.

WHOA!

[CRASH] HEY!

YOU ALMOST HIT ME WITH THAT.

NOW, WAS THAT REALLY NECESS... OUCH!

HEY! COME ON! OOH!

IS THAT YOUR BEST SHOT?

HEY! W-WHAT HAPPENED?

WHO TURNED OFF ALL THE... AH... AH...

AH... CHOO!

[PANTS, SNIFFS]

[GROWLING]

[MONKEY SCREECHES]

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Billy: MOM?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

UH... UM...

WELL, I'M AFRAID YOUR FRIEND GRIMY

HAD A BIT OF AN ACCIDENT.

I WAS TRYING TO HELP POOR GRIMY PULL HIMSELF TOGETHER.

PERHAPS YOU AND MANDY CAN HELP GRIMY

INTO THE GARBAGE CAN.

ALAS. POOR GRIM.

I KNEW HIM, BILLY.

SHUT UP!

OOPS.

OUCH!

GIVE ME THAT!

BILLY'S MOM SURE DID A NUMBER ON YOU.

SHE MAY HAVE WON THE BATTLE,

BUT SHE HAS NOT WON THE WAR!

OW!

[NUMBER DIALS, LINE RINGS]

Recording: HI. THIS IS IRWIN.

I CAN'T COME TO THE PHONE RIGHT NOW.

I'M IN-IN- INDISPOSED.

BUT YOU CAN LEAVE A MESSAGE AT THE BEEP.

[BEEP] HEY, IRWIN, ARE YOU THERE?

IT'S ME... BILLY.

IF YOU'RE THERE, PICK UP THE PHONE.

ANSWER THE PHONE, IRWIN!

I KNOW YOU'RE THERE!

IRWIN? IRWIN!

IRWIN, IRWIN, IRWIN, IRWIN, IRWIN...

[DRAWS DEEP BREATH] IRWIN, IRWIN, IRWIN, IRWIN...

I BET YOU'RE NOT INDISPOSED AT ALL, IRWIN.

I BET YOU'RE JUST SITTING ON THE... [DIAL TONE]

HMM. GUESS HE'S NOT THERE.

HEY, MOM, WILL YOU FIX ME A JELLY SANDWICH

WITH PEANUT BUTTER AND PICKLES AND FISH STICKS

AND SOME OF THOSE LITTLE WIENERS AND KETCHUP

AND BOLOGNA AND BANANAS AND TOFU

AND TUNA AND PIG KNUCKLES AND... MOM?

MOM? HEY, MOM?

WHERE ARE YOU?

A SANDWICH HERE!

STRANGE.

FIRST IRWIN IS MISSING, NOW MOM. [GASPS]

YOU IN THERE, MOM?

MAYBE THE WHOLE WORLD HAS BEEN ABDUCTED BY ALIENS,

'CEPT ME!

I WONDER IF THEY GOT DAD.

DAD? HEY, DAD!

ARE YOU IN THE GARAGE?

HEY, DADDIO?

WHERE ARE YOU?

HEY, DAD, I'M PLAYING WITH THE POWER TOOLS. OK, THANKS.

WHERE IS EVERYBODY?!

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

Grim: WHAT'S THE RUCKUS?

GRIM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THE ROOF?

I'M BLEACHING MY BONES, MAN.

DIG MY PEARLY WHITES.

ONE COCONUT FIZZ.

MARVELOUS. THANK YOU.

OH, MY PRESSURE, YOUR LOWNESS.

[SLURPING]

Billy: GRIM!

HAVE YOU BEEN PLAYING WITH YOUR SICKLE AGAIN?

[GASPS] WHERE'S MOM?

NO MORE COOKIES, BILLY.

Billy: AND DAD?

LEAVE YOUR MITTS OFF MY POWER TOOLS.

Billy: AND MY BEST FRIEND IRWIN?

STOP CALLING ME, YOU DWEEB.

THAT'S IT! I'M TOO LATE!

[CRYING] STUPID IRWIN.

[GASPS]

BILLY, I NEVER TOUCHED YOUR PARENTS.

BUT IF IT WASN'T YOU, THEN WHO?

[LOUD BURP]

MANDY! MANDY?

HANGING OUT IN THE ALLEY.

FIGURES. [BURPS]

EXCUSE ME. MUST HAVE BEEN SOMETHING I ATE.

GIRLS BURP, WHICH REMINDS ME,

I'M HAVING YOU FOR DINNER TODAY, BILLY.

BE THERE AT 6:00. YOU TOO, BONEHEAD.

[BURPS]

[TIRES SCREECH, CRASH]

NOW I KNOW WHERE EVERYONE WENT.

MANDY ATE 'EM FOR BREAKFAST,

AND SHE WANTS ME FOR DINNER!

YEP. SEEN THIS BEFORE.

I WONDER WHAT SHE HAD IN THAT BOX.

PROBABLY A HEAD!

SHE'S SAVING IT FOR DESSERT!

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? AAH!

WHOA. SLOW DOWN, BILLY.

LET'S NOT JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS.

FIRST, YOU NEED PROOF.

RIGHT. THE SMOKING GLOVE.

COME ON, GRIM.

Billy: GRIM!

SHH!

LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN MANDY'S TRASH.

BONES,

AND THEY'RE ALL YUCKY AND COVERED WITH ANTS.

THOSE ARE CHICKEN BONES, YOU SIMP.

KNOW?

TRUST ME. I KNOW MY BONES.

AAAH!

SHH!

OVER HERE. [BONES CLATTER]

MMM.

[THUD]

BILLY, GET UP.

SHE ATE HIS BRAINS!

SHH!

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

HMM.

HEY, GRIM, WHAT'S WITH ALL THE WEIRD TIKI CRUD?

LOOKS LIKE SOME SORT OF SOUTH-SEA SOIREE.

WHAT'S THAT MEAN?

BUNCH OF CANNIBALS THROW A PARTY TO EAT THE NEIGHBORS.

HUH? HUH?

QUICK, HIDE IN THOSE BUSHES.

Billy: CAREFUL WITH THAT SICKLE.

[BOTH WHIMPER]

TIME TO THROW THE SHRIMP ON THE BARBIE.

YEAH. HA HA HA HA!

YOU ARE DEFINITELY ON THE MENU.

[DOOR OPENS]

IT'S MANDY, AND SHE'S GOT THE BOX.

BILLY!

Billy: MANDY!

BILLY, JUST ON TIME.

WHOSE HEAD IS IN THE BOX, YOU CANNIBAL?

HEAD?

YAAAH!

AAAH!

WHEW.

AAAH!

[TRIBAL CHANTING]

HEY, IT'S A CHOCOLATE CAKE!

MMM!

[GASPS]

All: SURPRISE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BILLY!

IT'S A BIRTHDAY TIKI PARTY/LUAU THING, SON.

MOM, DAD, AND ALL MY FRIENDS,

YOU WEREN'T EATEN AFTER ALL,

EXCEPT... WHERE'S IRWIN?

[LOUD BURP]

[CRUNCH]

HMM. IRWIN'S GLASSES.

HOW DO YOU SUPPOSE GOT IN THERE?

[HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM]

[GASPS]

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT

GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

AND THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE. www.ncicap.org...