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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,954 --> 00:00:09,690 Miss Tutweiller, I'm texting Chelsea about your outfit. 2 00:00:09,724 --> 00:00:12,759 How do you spell "hideous"? 3 00:00:12,794 --> 00:00:14,828 Never mind. I'll just put "ick!" 4 00:00:14,862 --> 00:00:17,064 Oh, um, miss Tutweiller, 5 00:00:17,098 --> 00:00:19,533 how do you spell "ick"? 6 00:00:19,567 --> 00:00:21,335 Just sound it out! 7 00:00:23,838 --> 00:00:27,207 Meanwhile I hope you've all studied up on Argentina 8 00:00:27,241 --> 00:00:29,376 because tomorrow there will be a test. 9 00:00:29,410 --> 00:00:31,111 - ( Groans ) - Really? 10 00:00:31,145 --> 00:00:33,347 Psych! 11 00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:36,817 Tomorrow is senior ditch day, so go have a blast. 12 00:00:36,851 --> 00:00:38,218 - Yes! - Sweet. 13 00:00:38,252 --> 00:00:41,321 No, I don't want to dig a ditch! 14 00:00:41,356 --> 00:00:43,790 London, ditch day 15 00:00:43,825 --> 00:00:45,759 is when seniors cut class. 16 00:00:45,793 --> 00:00:48,362 I cut class every day. In fact, what am I even doing here? 17 00:00:50,331 --> 00:00:52,265 ( Bell rings ) 18 00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:54,434 Hey, cool, ditch day. 19 00:00:54,469 --> 00:00:56,603 I'm totally gonna ditch. 20 00:00:57,605 --> 00:01:00,407 Me too. I love to ditch. 21 00:01:00,441 --> 00:01:03,710 Oooh, look out. Teacher's pets are going rogue. 22 00:01:03,745 --> 00:01:07,347 What are you gonna do? Run up and down the hallways without a pass? 23 00:01:07,382 --> 00:01:10,417 With scissors? 24 00:01:12,253 --> 00:01:14,988 That is so incredibly dangerous. 25 00:01:15,022 --> 00:01:17,190 Yeah, they shouldn't even joke about that. 26 00:01:18,259 --> 00:01:21,261 ♪ Oh ay oh, oh ay oh ♪ 27 00:01:23,765 --> 00:01:25,632 ♪ come along with me ♪ 28 00:01:25,666 --> 00:01:27,267 ♪ and let's head out to see ♪ 29 00:01:27,301 --> 00:01:29,035 ♪ what this world has ♪ 30 00:01:29,070 --> 00:01:31,271 ♪ for you and for me now ♪ 31 00:01:31,305 --> 00:01:33,673 ♪ whichever way the wind blows ♪ 32 00:01:33,708 --> 00:01:35,742 - ♪ we say... ♪ - ♪ Hey-ho, let's go! ♪ 33 00:01:35,777 --> 00:01:38,078 - ♪ oh ay oh ♪ - ♪ This boat's rocking ♪ 34 00:01:38,112 --> 00:01:41,581 - ♪ oh ay oh ♪ - ♪ Ain't no stopping us now ♪ 35 00:01:41,616 --> 00:01:44,584 ♪ 'cause we're living the suite life ♪ 36 00:01:44,619 --> 00:01:46,853 - ♪ oh ay oh ♪ - ♪ This boat's rocking ♪ 37 00:01:46,854 --> 00:01:56,854 sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 38 00:02:02,103 --> 00:02:04,871 I can't believe we're going to the coolest beach club in south America. 39 00:02:04,906 --> 00:02:07,240 Me, Woody Fink, of Cleveland, Ohio. 40 00:02:07,275 --> 00:02:09,409 I couldn't even get into glee club. 41 00:02:09,444 --> 00:02:11,044 It's so exclusive 42 00:02:11,078 --> 00:02:14,047 they say even the guy who started it can't get in. 43 00:02:14,081 --> 00:02:16,950 This is going to be a ditch day we'll remember forever. 44 00:02:16,984 --> 00:02:19,853 The three musketeers... all for one and one for all. 45 00:02:19,887 --> 00:02:22,722 Hey. My motto is all for me and more for me. 46 00:02:22,757 --> 00:02:24,191 Catchy. 47 00:02:24,225 --> 00:02:26,927 Hey, check out all the beautiful babes, 48 00:02:26,961 --> 00:02:29,296 or as they call them here, babe-os. 49 00:02:29,330 --> 00:02:31,431 I have a girlfriend now... 50 00:02:31,466 --> 00:02:34,334 Whose name I suddenly can't remember. 51 00:02:34,368 --> 00:02:37,571 It's Maya. And she told me if you stared at any pretty girls, 52 00:02:37,605 --> 00:02:40,106 - to do this. - Ow! 53 00:02:40,141 --> 00:02:41,508 I told her I'd stay with her, 54 00:02:41,542 --> 00:02:43,643 but she doesn't like people to see when she's sick. 55 00:02:43,678 --> 00:02:45,812 I've never seen anyone hurl like that. 56 00:02:45,847 --> 00:02:47,948 She barfed all over the shuffleboard court. 57 00:02:47,982 --> 00:02:50,784 On the bright side, it landed on the 10. Ha ha. 58 00:02:55,156 --> 00:02:56,957 - Cody? - Bailey. 59 00:02:56,991 --> 00:02:59,192 I thought you were going to ditch. 60 00:02:59,227 --> 00:03:00,827 I thought you were gonna ditch. 61 00:03:00,862 --> 00:03:02,295 Pffft, I am ditching. 62 00:03:02,330 --> 00:03:04,197 I decided to ditch ditch day. 63 00:03:05,199 --> 00:03:07,934 Me too. 64 00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:13,406 ( Unison ) Good morning, miss Tutweiller. 65 00:03:13,441 --> 00:03:16,042 What are you two doing here? 66 00:03:16,077 --> 00:03:17,677 - Waiting for you. - You're late. 67 00:03:17,712 --> 00:03:19,346 Why are you dressed that way? 68 00:03:20,948 --> 00:03:23,817 Well, I was going to go to the pool. 69 00:03:23,851 --> 00:03:26,052 It's senior ditch day, remember? 70 00:03:26,087 --> 00:03:29,356 It's not senior citizen's ditch day. 71 00:03:29,390 --> 00:03:32,158 ( Sarcastically ) Heh heh heh heh. 72 00:03:32,193 --> 00:03:36,162 Miss Tutweiller, I have maintained a perfect school attendance 73 00:03:36,197 --> 00:03:38,064 since my first day of kindergarten. 74 00:03:38,099 --> 00:03:39,733 Mine's perfect since preschool. 75 00:03:39,767 --> 00:03:42,435 I skipped preschool. They didn't think I needed it. 76 00:03:43,871 --> 00:03:46,306 That helps explain the whole blankie obsession. 77 00:03:46,340 --> 00:03:48,108 It's not an obsession! 78 00:03:48,142 --> 00:03:50,510 You were always jealous of my affection for blankie. 79 00:03:50,545 --> 00:03:52,913 - I think it's weird that a 17-year-old... - Blankie cuddled me. 80 00:03:52,947 --> 00:03:55,048 - You never cuddled... - Stop stop stop stop stop! 81 00:03:55,082 --> 00:03:58,218 Look, how about I just mark you both present 82 00:03:58,252 --> 00:04:01,555 for the day and nobody gets hurt? 83 00:04:01,589 --> 00:04:04,691 Uh, we'll get hurt. We'll have lost a whole day of learning. 84 00:04:04,725 --> 00:04:07,160 It's your responsibility as our teacher 85 00:04:07,194 --> 00:04:09,162 to actually teach us something. 86 00:04:09,196 --> 00:04:11,531 I got a credential from a community college. 87 00:04:11,566 --> 00:04:13,767 I didn't take an oath. 88 00:04:14,969 --> 00:04:17,203 Oh, all right! 89 00:04:17,238 --> 00:04:19,573 Ugh, take out your... History books 90 00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:22,175 and turn to chapter... pfft... 17. 91 00:04:25,146 --> 00:04:27,080 - Ahem. - Bailey? 92 00:04:27,114 --> 00:04:28,848 Aren't you gonna take attendance? 93 00:04:32,753 --> 00:04:34,387 Abernathy? 94 00:04:37,959 --> 00:04:39,659 Bueller? 95 00:04:41,262 --> 00:04:44,097 Bueller? 96 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,601 ( Groans ) 97 00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:50,570 What do you mean I'm not on the list? Do you know who I am? 98 00:04:50,605 --> 00:04:53,006 Yeah, somebody who's not on the list. 99 00:04:54,942 --> 00:04:56,743 Yeah, meanwhile he let in Madonna, 100 00:04:56,777 --> 00:04:59,512 Brangelina and even those vampire kids. 101 00:04:59,547 --> 00:05:02,682 I can't believe the undead got in before me. 102 00:05:02,717 --> 00:05:05,085 Are you talking about the vampire kids or Madonna? 103 00:05:05,119 --> 00:05:08,688 My cool quotient must have gone down because of that stupid sea school. 104 00:05:08,723 --> 00:05:11,124 Don't worry, guys, 105 00:05:11,158 --> 00:05:12,792 we can have fun in line together. 106 00:05:12,827 --> 00:05:16,463 ♪ 100 bottles of soda on the wall, 100 bottles... ♪ 107 00:05:16,497 --> 00:05:17,998 you know it, you know it. 108 00:05:18,032 --> 00:05:20,800 - I don't sing in public. - And I can't count backwards. 109 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:27,307 "Magnolia stood terrified on the deck 110 00:05:27,341 --> 00:05:29,976 as the swarthy pirate leapt over the ship's railing." 111 00:05:30,011 --> 00:05:32,145 ( Crunches ) 112 00:05:35,049 --> 00:05:36,750 Men: ♪ yo ho ho ho ♪ 113 00:05:36,784 --> 00:05:38,618 ♪ ho ho ho. ♪ 114 00:05:38,653 --> 00:05:41,087 ( southern accent ) Captain Hawk, I assure you 115 00:05:41,122 --> 00:05:45,392 my family will pay whatever ransom you desire for my safe return. 116 00:05:51,298 --> 00:05:53,833 I'm sure they will, my little princes, 117 00:05:53,868 --> 00:05:56,369 but for now, you're mine! 118 00:05:56,404 --> 00:05:58,204 ( Squeals ) 119 00:05:58,239 --> 00:06:00,306 Never. 120 00:06:00,341 --> 00:06:03,543 My father has promised me to another man. 121 00:06:03,577 --> 00:06:06,179 Can that man hold you like this? 122 00:06:06,213 --> 00:06:07,981 No! 123 00:06:08,015 --> 00:06:10,817 And caress you like this? 124 00:06:10,851 --> 00:06:13,520 Oh yeah, that works. 125 00:06:13,554 --> 00:06:15,722 And kiss you like this? 126 00:06:15,756 --> 00:06:17,891 Oh, come to mama! 127 00:06:17,925 --> 00:06:20,326 Bailey: Miss Tutweiller! 128 00:06:20,361 --> 00:06:22,896 Miss Tutweiller. Miss Tutweiller. 129 00:06:22,930 --> 00:06:25,298 - Miss Tutweiller! - What-tttt? 130 00:06:25,332 --> 00:06:27,500 I finished my art project. 131 00:06:29,336 --> 00:06:31,604 Well, at least one of us got to finish. 132 00:06:34,508 --> 00:06:37,377 I knitted a d.N.A. Model using color-coded yarn 133 00:06:37,411 --> 00:06:39,512 to coincide with the first letter of each amino acid. 134 00:06:39,547 --> 00:06:42,015 Aqua for adenine, green for guanine, ... 135 00:06:42,049 --> 00:06:43,516 yeah, I get it. 136 00:06:43,551 --> 00:06:44,684 Kinda. 137 00:06:44,719 --> 00:06:46,986 Lame. 138 00:06:47,021 --> 00:06:49,889 Check this out... I made a model of the human brain 139 00:06:49,924 --> 00:06:51,658 using various types of pasta. 140 00:06:51,692 --> 00:06:55,095 I call it encephalaroni. 141 00:06:55,129 --> 00:06:59,032 Educational and, if you boil it for eight to 10 minutes, 142 00:06:59,066 --> 00:07:00,900 a lovely al dente dinner. 143 00:07:03,204 --> 00:07:06,973 Guys, when I assigned you an art project, 144 00:07:07,007 --> 00:07:10,777 I was hoping you'd do something less academic and more creative. 145 00:07:10,811 --> 00:07:13,813 Well, what's more creative than a brain you can eat? 146 00:07:13,848 --> 00:07:16,015 D.N.A. You can snuggle with. 147 00:07:17,518 --> 00:07:20,854 Wow, you guys are gonna be the life of the think tank. 148 00:07:20,888 --> 00:07:25,291 Look, not everything is about school and grades and studying. 149 00:07:25,326 --> 00:07:28,261 Exactly where did you get your teaching credentials? 150 00:07:28,295 --> 00:07:31,765 The university of none of your business! 151 00:07:33,901 --> 00:07:36,736 - I bet she barely got in. - Mm-hmm. 152 00:07:36,771 --> 00:07:39,906 Okay, that's it. I'm giving you both an assignment. 153 00:07:39,940 --> 00:07:43,810 You are to leave this classroom immediately and go have fun... 154 00:07:43,844 --> 00:07:45,345 actual fun 155 00:07:45,379 --> 00:07:48,615 that an actual kid would actually have. 156 00:07:48,649 --> 00:07:51,684 - But, miss Tutweiller... - This is social studies... go be social. 157 00:07:51,719 --> 00:07:54,020 You're getting graded on this! 158 00:07:56,323 --> 00:07:58,725 Woody: ♪ take one down, pass it around ♪ 159 00:07:58,759 --> 00:08:01,828 ♪ -864 bottles of soda on the wall... ♪ 160 00:08:01,862 --> 00:08:03,897 yes, we're almost in! 161 00:08:03,931 --> 00:08:05,665 Oh oh, pick me, pick me! 162 00:08:05,699 --> 00:08:07,100 - You you. - ( Squeals ) 163 00:08:07,134 --> 00:08:09,903 - Hey. - Not you. 164 00:08:09,937 --> 00:08:11,404 Hey! 165 00:08:11,438 --> 00:08:14,307 Gym class all over again. 166 00:08:14,341 --> 00:08:16,075 It's okay, man. He's cool. 167 00:08:16,110 --> 00:08:19,045 I know he doesn't look it, but he's cool. 168 00:08:19,079 --> 00:08:21,181 - You want in or not? - See ya. 169 00:08:23,150 --> 00:08:25,852 Oh, buddy, I wish there was something I could do. 170 00:08:25,886 --> 00:08:28,655 - I'll be all right. - Are you sure? 171 00:08:28,689 --> 00:08:31,424 - You go ahead. - Thanks, pal. 172 00:08:33,727 --> 00:08:36,362 I can't believe he actually went ahead. 173 00:08:37,531 --> 00:08:39,666 ( Sobbing ) 174 00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:42,202 Hey, man, are you crying? 175 00:08:42,236 --> 00:08:45,505 No. Got sand in my eye. 176 00:08:46,841 --> 00:08:48,141 Both eyes. 177 00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:57,370 Wow, this place is awesome. 178 00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:58,838 ( Laughs ) 179 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,507 I do believe in relationships. I do believe in relationships. 180 00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:02,542 I do, I do, I do. 181 00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,110 Oh ew! 182 00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,345 We need to get to the V.I.P. Lounge. 183 00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:09,849 At least there we'll get bumped into by a better class of people. 184 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,685 - Oh, excuse me, do you know where the... - ( Ice rattles ) 185 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:16,255 Do you hear that sound? That is the sound of my drink being empty. 186 00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:17,690 Fill it! 187 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,826 Uh, I'm not a waiter. 188 00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:22,695 ( Gasps ) You mean you wear those clothes on purpose? 189 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,198 Que lastima. 190 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,801 Oh my gosh, that's Valentina Sonabria. 191 00:09:28,836 --> 00:09:30,870 Her daddy's the richest man in south America. 192 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,272 He could buy my daddy and sell him at a garage sale. 193 00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:40,379 Hola, Valentina. 194 00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:42,782 Do I know you? 195 00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,450 It's London. 196 00:09:44,485 --> 00:09:46,719 Tipton. 197 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,188 London tipton. 198 00:09:49,223 --> 00:09:52,258 Okay, once winter in Switzerland 199 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,627 I was on the slopes adjusting my boot, 200 00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:57,230 and you skied right over me. 201 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,465 Vaguely I'm getting an image 202 00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:01,534 of a large pink bump. 203 00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:04,704 Oh, you should have seen the larger red bump you left on my head. 204 00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:06,038 - It was... - ( Laughing ) 205 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:10,409 At least it took the eyes away from her hideous parka. 206 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:15,114 - That was an Arturo Vitali. - Arturo Vitali's so over. 207 00:10:15,149 --> 00:10:16,649 - ( Gasps ) - Where have you been? 208 00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:19,552 Stuck in the middle of the ocean? 209 00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:21,220 ( Tittering ) 210 00:10:21,255 --> 00:10:23,489 Stupid not-cool sea school! 211 00:10:25,159 --> 00:10:27,326 I just found out Rafael Nadal is in the V.I.P. room. 212 00:10:27,361 --> 00:10:28,928 - Maya loves him. - Who doesn't? 213 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,297 He's the most gorgeousest tennis player ever. 214 00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:32,999 He can serve me anytime. 215 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,268 Anyway, I want to get a deo of him saying "hi" for Maya. 216 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,236 Think you can ask your friend if she can get us in there? 217 00:10:37,271 --> 00:10:39,472 Oh, not gonna happen. 218 00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:41,474 Valentina totally dissed me. 219 00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:44,310 She was snobby, insulting and treated me like dirt. 220 00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:46,579 Oh, so kinda the way you treat other people. 221 00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:47,647 Exactly! 222 00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:54,687 "Magnolia tried not to notice the Captain's rippling muscles 223 00:10:54,721 --> 00:10:56,956 as she cleansed his wound." 224 00:10:57,958 --> 00:10:59,625 Men: ♪ yo ho ho ho ♪ 225 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,694 ♪ ho ho ho. ♪ 226 00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:04,730 Captain Hawk, I am so sorry 227 00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:07,934 you got wounded protecting my virtue. 228 00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:10,069 This is what I do. 229 00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:13,172 I plunder, then I protect. 230 00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:18,611 So you're kind of a hyphenate of the high seas. 231 00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:20,446 - Oh. - Ahhh! 232 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,615 Oh, how's that? 233 00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:24,717 If only that sponge could scrub away 234 00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:26,686 the sins of my tortured life. 235 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,822 Oh, well, I could scrub harder. 236 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,091 - Oh! - Or you can kiss me. 237 00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:34,627 - Bailey: Miss Tutweiller! - Oh what?! 238 00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:36,395 Miss Tutweiller! Miss Tutweiller! 239 00:11:36,430 --> 00:11:37,563 What? 240 00:11:37,598 --> 00:11:40,533 - Get to the good part yet? - Oh! 241 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:43,569 Oh sorry. Wanna borrow my book? 242 00:11:43,604 --> 00:11:47,607 I'm reading "quadratic degeneracies in fractal equations." 243 00:11:47,641 --> 00:11:50,543 No thanks. I'll just wait for the movie to come out. 244 00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:55,815 Ladies. 245 00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:57,817 Having fun? 246 00:11:57,851 --> 00:12:00,253 - Absolutely. - Please drown me. 247 00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:09,028 Oooh, this is relaxing. 248 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,330 Jump in, Cody, 249 00:12:11,365 --> 00:12:13,899 unless, you know, you don't want to have fun. 250 00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:16,836 I'm having grade-a fun. 251 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:25,177 Oh yes, well, what's more fun 252 00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:27,947 than bathing with a bunch of filthy strangers 253 00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:31,117 like part of some human beef stew? 254 00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:35,221 Oh! Oh well. 255 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,590 More bacteria broth for us. 256 00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:41,093 Uh, excuse me, good sir, you left your pus-y bandage. 257 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,498 Okay, that's it. 258 00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,867 - You're disgusting. - Miss Tutweiller? 259 00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:51,037 Please note that Bailey seems to be failing fun 101, 260 00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:53,272 whereas I'm having extra fun. 261 00:12:53,307 --> 00:12:54,740 Yeah? Let me help you. 262 00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,742 Whee! 263 00:12:57,978 --> 00:13:00,212 Not the face. Ugghhh! 264 00:13:01,715 --> 00:13:04,450 It's so gross I'm sending myself out to be dry-cleaned. 265 00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:09,055 You think I'm nuts? You're nuts! 266 00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:17,330 Copy that, Mr. Boone. 267 00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:19,231 Take the door real quick. 268 00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:21,467 ( Snaps ) Hello. 269 00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:24,270 ( British accent ) I am lord Pembleton. So if you wouldn't mind 270 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,472 I'm just gonna... ( Gasps ) 271 00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,507 How dare you touch me! 272 00:13:28,542 --> 00:13:32,578 I am royalty! If my blood were any bluer, I'd be a smurf. 273 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,748 I'm on the list, now let me in. 274 00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:44,623 ( Groans ) 275 00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:47,126 I can't believe they won't let me in to the V.I.P. lounge. 276 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,895 Even on the playground, I was always a V. I.T.... 277 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,198 very important toddler. 278 00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:54,400 Meanwhile, no Rafael Nadal. 279 00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:57,803 But I got a great shot of shrimp wrapped in bacon. 280 00:13:57,838 --> 00:14:01,440 I just hope the paparazzi don't get a shot of me stuck out here with these losers. 281 00:14:01,475 --> 00:14:04,477 Hey, there's Diego Maradona 282 00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:06,245 drinking mate with lady gaga. 283 00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:08,948 Oh, that's it. We've gotta get in there. 284 00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:11,817 Oh hey hey, Valentina, 285 00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:14,920 I got this. Valentina! 286 00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,956 Do I know you? 287 00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:21,594 Hello, Switzerland, bump... we've been over this. 288 00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:24,196 - Can you please let us into the V.I.P.... - No! 289 00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:26,899 No no. If we let people like you in, 290 00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:28,834 then it would not be the V.I.P. lounge. 291 00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,669 It would just be the "p" lounge. 292 00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:34,440 Stop trying to confuse us with your fancy spelling. 293 00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,609 - "P" lounge! - Okay okay, forget it. 294 00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:39,779 We're never gonna get in there without connections. 295 00:14:39,813 --> 00:14:42,081 I demand more shrimp! 296 00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:45,818 And this time don't be so stingy with the cocktail sauce. 297 00:14:48,622 --> 00:14:51,624 That's the elusive lord Pembleton? ( Gasps ) 298 00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:54,994 Grito! He's the richest man in England. 299 00:14:57,798 --> 00:14:59,231 Is that Woody? 300 00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:01,634 Oh, that can't possibly be Woody. 301 00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:04,136 ( Gurgling ) 302 00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:06,439 Yep, that's Woody. 303 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:13,112 Miss Tutweiller, don't you think laser tag just perpetuates 304 00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:15,681 the mindless violence so prevalent in our society? 305 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:17,650 No, I think it's fun. 306 00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:21,487 And I am going to teach the two of you how to have fun 307 00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,456 if it is the last thing I ever do! 308 00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:26,058 Now lock and load. 309 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,660 I don't know, miss Tutweiller. 310 00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,695 Lasers can be fun in a laboratory setting... 311 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,964 like when you're exciting an electron particle... 312 00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:34,867 ha, that's the only thing he's ever excited. 313 00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:37,670 - Game on! - Oh! 314 00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:39,271 Now that's the spirit! 315 00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:41,941 But let's wait for the bell that officially starts the game. 316 00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:44,143 - Ding! - Ow. 317 00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,412 - ( Bell rings ) - Oh okay. 318 00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:48,714 Ow! 319 00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:50,983 - Oh oh. - Suckers! 320 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:55,054 You know, she's a better shot than she is a teacher. 321 00:15:57,357 --> 00:16:00,025 Zack: Woody, Woodster! Woodmeister. 322 00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:01,927 Hey, lord Pembleton. 323 00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:03,996 Pemby. Pembalaya. 324 00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:06,365 Pemblepuss. 325 00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:09,902 Why is that peasant yelling at you? 326 00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:13,606 Oh, probably just one of my subjects. 327 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,108 They just worship me. 328 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:18,210 B.R.B, ladies. 329 00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:21,146 - ( Titters ) - Oh, L.O.L. 330 00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:22,648 Yes, I know, I know. 331 00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:25,117 Woody, how did you get in there?! 332 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,119 Shhh, I'm pretending to be a lord. 333 00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,754 - Kiss my ring. - You're not wearing a ring. 334 00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,656 Then kiss my knuckle. 335 00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:33,325 Mmm, tastes like bacon. 336 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:34,827 Look, lord of the pies, 337 00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:37,429 just get me in there. 338 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:40,833 Oh oh, and I need a video of Rafael Nadal saying hi for Maya. 339 00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:44,203 ( Hisses ) Oh, guys, this is so... 340 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:46,005 ♪ awkward! ♪ 341 00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:48,707 I wish there was something I could do, 342 00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:50,910 - but... - Woodster! 343 00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:53,279 I can't believe you're treating us like this. 344 00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:55,414 You mean like ditching you on senior ditch day? 345 00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:58,117 Yeah! Who does that? 346 00:16:58,151 --> 00:17:00,319 Think about it. 347 00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:04,990 I got nothing. 348 00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:13,232 - Aha ha! - Hey, you have a cockroach on you. 349 00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:14,800 Ew eew ew! Where where where? 350 00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,869 Right there! 351 00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:19,104 - ( Groans ) - ( Thunks ) 352 00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:21,440 Ow! Ow ow ow! 353 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,944 Bailey, Bailey, stop stop. Please please stop. 354 00:17:24,978 --> 00:17:27,746 Oooh, I think I fractured my ulna. 355 00:17:27,781 --> 00:17:29,715 Oh my gosh, are you okay? 356 00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:31,717 Yeah, I am now! 357 00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:34,753 Hey, that's not fair! You cheated. 358 00:17:34,788 --> 00:17:37,456 Aw, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna tell on me? 359 00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:40,092 No, actually 360 00:17:40,126 --> 00:17:42,695 I'm going to laser you into dust! 361 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,064 Oh, don't hide behind the couch. 362 00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:46,398 Ow ow ow ow ow! 363 00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,033 Ow ow ow. 364 00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,302 Hey, look, miss Tutweiller. I'm having fun. 365 00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:51,737 I'm having more fun than he is. 366 00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,472 - Fun fun fun. - Fun fun fun. 367 00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:56,241 Please stop and I will give you an "a." 368 00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,745 "A+"? 369 00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,213 Fine! 370 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:04,750 - Oooh. - You know, 371 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:07,252 this laser tag thing is pretty fun. 372 00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,221 I know. Now did you get your hits 373 00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:12,224 by correlating the velocity of the laser with the momentum of the target? 374 00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,994 Of course... while factoring in the dimensions of the room 375 00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:16,428 and the movement of the ship. 376 00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:19,298 Oh, I forgot about the movement of the ship! 377 00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:21,767 Know what I want to do now? 378 00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:24,937 - Write a paper about this? - Exactly! 379 00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:28,974 - We could be co-authors. - Deal. My name goes first. 380 00:18:29,009 --> 00:18:31,276 - Uh, why would your name go first? - Why shouldn't it? 381 00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:33,178 - Because I'm smarter? - ( Huffs ) 382 00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:36,615 - Oh, I give up. - Ha! 383 00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:43,656 Nice balloon dress, lady gaga. 384 00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:46,558 Is there a lord gaga? Because I'm... ♪ available! ♪ 385 00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:51,597 - Zack, what are you doing? - Getting a sand burn on my knees. 386 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,599 Get out of here! 387 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:56,301 I can't be seen talking to the likes of you. I am royalty. 388 00:18:56,336 --> 00:19:00,005 Look, Woody, I don't blame you for being mad. 389 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:01,674 I never should have ditched you. 390 00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:05,444 But can you please help me get a video of Rafi for Maya, please? 391 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:09,048 - Sure. - Throw them out. 392 00:19:09,082 --> 00:19:11,116 Oh, Valentina! 393 00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:12,518 Oh okay, move move. 394 00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,822 Oh, relax, Valentina. 395 00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:20,559 I just knighted this guy, so he's cool. 396 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:22,895 But you are not. 397 00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:25,698 The real lord Pembleton just arrived. 398 00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:28,000 What? Oh, that schlub? 399 00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:30,235 He's an imposter. 400 00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:33,172 He came in a golden carriage pulled by four white horses. 401 00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:35,474 That... that's a rental. 402 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:36,975 Stop! Stop! 403 00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,911 Let me go! 404 00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:40,012 I am so a V.I.P. 405 00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:41,814 I'm... lady Pembleton. 406 00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,482 ( Screams ) 407 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,284 Don't take my wife, please! 408 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:52,224 ( All groan ) 409 00:19:52,258 --> 00:19:55,094 Well, that was the most humiliating experience of my life. 410 00:19:55,128 --> 00:19:57,930 Being tossed out of a club in front of the paparazzi? 411 00:19:57,964 --> 00:20:01,166 No, having people think I was married to you. 412 00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:04,970 And after all of that, I still don't have a video of Rafi saying hi to Maya. 413 00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:07,506 Ah yes, you do. 414 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,274 As we were being dragged out of the club, 415 00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:11,610 I kicked him in the butt and he said "aye!" 416 00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:14,379 Woodster you're the best! 417 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:16,548 Thank you, buddy. 418 00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:20,886 I never should have ditched you on ditch day. 419 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,888 Well, we're all together now. 420 00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:24,223 All for one and one for all. 421 00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:26,725 - The three musketeers. - Uh, not gonna happen. 422 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,661 Come on, m'lady Pembleton. 423 00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:31,730 Come on, you know you want a hug. 424 00:20:31,765 --> 00:20:33,665 ( Sighs ) Oh, all right. 425 00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:36,502 How much lower can my cool quotient go? 426 00:20:36,536 --> 00:20:38,170 ( Cameras clicking ) 427 00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:40,773 No-ooooo! 428 00:20:49,979 --> 00:20:53,147 "Magnolia's heart swelled with joy. 429 00:20:53,182 --> 00:20:56,184 Her buccaneer bad boy was about to become 430 00:20:56,218 --> 00:20:58,286 her swashbuckling spouse." 431 00:21:03,292 --> 00:21:05,593 Men: ♪ yo ho ho ho ♪ 432 00:21:05,628 --> 00:21:07,595 ♪ ho ho ho. ♪ 433 00:21:07,630 --> 00:21:11,466 I, Magnolia, take you, Captain Hawk, 434 00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:14,202 as my beloved husband. 435 00:21:14,236 --> 00:21:17,272 Oh yeah. About that. 436 00:21:19,775 --> 00:21:22,510 Your family just paid the ransom. 437 00:21:22,545 --> 00:21:25,280 So see ya! 438 00:21:26,448 --> 00:21:29,717 What? Are you breaking up with me? 439 00:21:29,752 --> 00:21:31,586 Kinda. 440 00:21:31,620 --> 00:21:33,655 Oooh. 441 00:21:36,525 --> 00:21:39,227 I am so getting half your stolen treasure! 442 00:21:43,999 --> 00:21:47,001 "They set the heartbroken Magnolia adrift 443 00:21:47,036 --> 00:21:49,337 in an endless sea of loneliness. 444 00:21:49,371 --> 00:21:51,973 Legend has it on stormy nights 445 00:21:52,007 --> 00:21:55,243 you can still hear her pathetic weeping. 446 00:21:55,277 --> 00:21:57,245 The end." 447 00:21:59,949 --> 00:22:02,750 The only romance novel in history 448 00:22:02,785 --> 00:22:04,500 where the heroine gets dumped! 449 00:22:04,501 --> 00:22:14,501 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 450 00:22:14,551 --> 00:22:19,101 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33270

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