Original subtitles

Yeah, so then I snuck into the pump room and turbocharged the wave pool.

Yeah, that wasn't funny.

You know, Mosby's gonna be ticked. Oh, please, he'll never figure out it was

Zachary Martin!

I think Mosby figured it out.

Zachary Martin!

Yeah, I think that Mosby figured it out, too.

along with me let's head out to see what this world has for you and for me

now bitch that way the wind blows we say hey ho let's go oh oh oh this boat's

rocking oh oh oh ain't no stopping us now cause we're living this sweet life

What is going on here?

There are two moments. One was bad enough.

I must annihilate Zachary Martin.

Been there.

I don't know who or what you are, but you will have to annihilate me first.

Understood. Programming updated.

was in his boxers. I didn't. I just like pants on people.

guidance, Chip.

By the way, are all of your vital systems accessed through your rear?

Give me that!

You better tell us why you're here if you ever want to stop walking like my

Uncle Dobbs.

He was kicked by a mule, and struck by lightning, and run over by a tractor.

Uncle Dobbs is not a lucky man.

I am from 500 years in the future, sent by the crew of the starship Tipton.

Zack's descendant, Zerk, has pulled a prank that has put all of mankind...

danger. So you're the first in a long line of hooligans. Well, no surprise

there.

This is boring.

Put his chippy thing back in so he and Mosby can wrestle again.

Zerk's prank disabled our spacecraft's controls, and now we're hurtling toward

Anterian space, the most horrible place in the universe.

Why? No good shopping?

One tiny mall and no play area for the kids.

Violation of Anterian space would be considered an Act of war, and zillions

people in the future will die.

Oh, well, bummer.

Hey, thanks for visiting. Here's a smoothie for the road.

I cannot leave until I annihilate you, so that Zerk will never be born and his

prank will never happen.

Look, I agree that annihilating Zack will solve many, many problems.

But there has to be another solution.

Well, I got nothing. Nice to know you, Zack.

your starship and get you guys back on course.

According to the history banks, Cody Martin does have seven Nobel Prizes in

physics and nanomechanics. Yes.

What about me? How many Nobel Prizes does Bailey Pickett have?

Eight. What?

Four piece.

Oh, I thought they were the real kind.

Given your abilities, I'm willing to take you into the future and let you try

fix the situation.

Perhaps your friends can help too. That sounds so cool.

Fine. But you're putting this chip back in yourself.

Now, stand on the temporal portal.

starship Tipton. Wow, this looks a lot like our ship. That is because the

of all Tipton vessels was inspired by the SS Tipton.

Fascinating. This ship must be enclosed by some invisible force field to keep in

the oxygen.

Precisely. Just don't fart. We have no place for those things to go.

Now he tells me.

future, not the past.

Well, did you ever think that maybe the dinosaurs disappeared because they went

into the future?

I can honestly say that I haven't. All right, let's fix this puppy.

Wait! If my programmers see me with people from your time, they will realize

did not complete my mission, and I will be recycled into a waffle iron.

They've got waffles in the future?

Yes!

Waffles!

What are we supposed to do? We don't exactly blend in.

I have an idea.

Man, I like these outfits.

Speak for yourself.

The guys in red always get killed.

See?

Note to self. Do not open airlocks without gravity boots.

Assuming they have butts.

Zack, do not let your emotions control you.

We must approach this conflict logically.

Now, what exactly happened to the ship's guidance system?

Zerk altered our trajectory for planet Bikini.

Oh, that's my boy.

I hope you grounded him. Sort of the opposite. We set him adrift in the cold

darkness of space where no one can hear him scream.

Mission accomplished. Target neutralized.

But we are still on course for Anterian space.

Why has the timeline not changed?

Sometimes there's a lag.

An hour, maybe two. I don't know. Could be a week.

Curious. Your vocal subroutines seem out of phase.

I'm going to take you in for some diagnostics.

peek around here somewhere.

Nope.

Deep box.

Help!

Help!

Of course I'll help.

First, I'll pull out the language module and...

I've been left back a few times.

I don't think rich people should have to go to school.

So, you're rich too?

You don't recognize me?

Don't you upload the tabloid modules into your neural link port?

Okay, I don't understand most of what people tell me in my time, so I really

no shot at this.

The impulse engines are powered by a fusion -based crystalline reactor.

Wow. You don't check your email for 500 years and your inbox really fills up.

Spam. Spam. Spam. Oh, earn big money from home.

Oh, look. The captain must be going to the little astronaut's room.

Incident.

You have lovely antennae.

Flattery will get you nowhere.

But thank you.

Perhaps if I reroute power from secondary systems through the warp core?

right, all right, you've had your chance. It's my turn.

Zack, I don't think you really comprehend the complexities of particle

acceleration.

Hey, I did something.

Yeah, you doubled our speed towards Antarian space.

You put the entire human race that much closer to total annihilation.

Cody's log.

Galactic time, 43 .6 grown -on. Thanks to my brother, Zach, we are speeding

towards Antarian space and our doom. Most of the crew, including the captain,

have abandoned ship, leaving the starship Tipton in our hands.

It's not working!

Hi,

guys. I want you to meet my really great grandson.

Isn't he adorable?

Come on, not in front of the crew.

dude's gonna make a picnic out of us.

Maybe we should try diplomacy.

After all, I do have eight Nobel Peace Prizes.

Fake wordless category.

Hail the enemy.

What now?

I was taking my pre -annihilation shower.

I can't destroy all of mankind.

Of course I can.

I have this button.

I mean, you shouldn't. Why not?

Humans are an ugly and disgusting race.

Yeah, so they do with hairy feelers and a slime pouch.

Look, maybe we seem ugly to you, but we have so much to offer the universe.

Art, culture, music.

Music?

What is this music?

Little Little?

Is that supposed to be a humorous name, like calling a bald guy Curly or a short

guy Stretch?

The metal in your arm seems to have lost molecular integrity.

This thing is like mush.

Perhaps you should let me go so I can head off to the robot gym.

Oh, nonsense.

We can just replace it now.

Second opinion.

Now, where is my eyeball scoop?

Where is the eyeball scoop, kid?

Cody's log.

Galactic time, 43 .98 chronons. In two Earth minutes, we will cross into

Antarian space.

Luckily, I have extensive knowledge of both astrophysics and space telemetry.

Zach's log.

Hurry up, dipstick. We're down to one minute.

I jury -rigged a warp field generator to create a small tear in the space -time

continuum, which should form a wormhole, allowing us to jump instantaneously

over Antarian space.

And yet you can't hit a wiffle ball off a tee.

Hey, guys! Can you take a picture of me and my grandson?

Granny's taking me to the zoo tomorrow.

Kids under 75, get in!

Blown to bits today.

We're not going to get blown to bits when I connect the last wire.

I'm just not sure if it should be the red one or the black one.

Duh. Black.

It goes with everything.

Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no.

Did I do it?

No, but you did turn on the left turn signal.

Prepare? Okay, but I'm going to need a few hours to wash my hair.

Galactic time, 50 .05 chronon.

Despite having entered Anterian space, all seems calm.

Perhaps the aliens have had a change of heart?

Ow! Break that sky or we're all gonna die!

Serves you right, suckers.

Ow! Stupid lasers!

No batteries!

Oh.

I see.

You're not a robot.

But you are cute.

And since we're about to be disintegrated...

Oh! Whoa!

Quiet!

We've got to get out of here.

We can go to our family ski lodge on Pluto.

your ship.

Prepare to be boarded.

Prepare? Okay, but I'm going to need some time to tidy up a little bit. Stop

Expression. We went over this. The point is we're coming after we pack a lunch.

Well, good job, Zach.

Not only did you mess up the future, but you managed to drag us into it. Hey, I

don't see any of your descendants here helping.

Oh, wait. Maybe that's because nobody wanted to have kids with you.

We're about to become space

Galactic time, little hand eight, big hand two.

Thanks to me, the remaining Anterians have surrendered and were headed home.

Oh, my dear.

I'm certainly going to miss you.

Is there any chance you can come back with me?

I'd love to, but I can't risk the great asteroid Armageddon of 2018.

birthday check grandma's gonna miss you hope you do when i'm gone for starters

i'm going to the spa note

to self cancel birthday

check see that's what it gets for wearing red

I think I finally figured out this temporal portal. So where do you guys

go? Ancient Greece?

Shakespearean England?

Ho!

and save the entire human race.

Is all of this just a long -winded way for you to tell me you didn't do your

homework? Yeah, pretty much.

Okay, I should give you an F, but I will give you a D, since, in your little

fantasy, you gave me two boyfriends.

One of them hurled himself out of the space lock.

mischievous ways or one day your descendants might really be set adrift

cosmos

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