Original subtitles

Man 1: OKAY, HARM, IT'S PIZZA NIGHT

AND MY STOMACH IS GROWLING.

WHAT SAY WE TRAP THIS TIME?

Man 2: TOMCAT 1-7-3

YOU'RE AT A MILE AND A QUARTER. CALL THE BALL.

1-7-3 TOMCAT. CLARA.

THREE-POINT-SIX.

Man 3: FAN LEFT, HARM.

1-7-3 TOMCAT. BALL, THREE-POINT-FIVE.

Man 4: ROGER, BALL.

Man 4: YOU'RE A LITTLE LOW.

POWER, POWER, POWER!

[ airplane whirring ][ grunts ]

[ explosions ]

[ grunts ]

[ sighs ]

[ opening theme music playing ]

[ tranquil music playing ]

YOU'RE NOT TAKING THIS PERSONALLY ARE YOU, MAJOR?

I MEAN, ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE, WAR AND THE COURTROOM, RIGHT?

WRONG!

WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS?

NO, I DON'T.

LOOK, MAJOR...

I DON'T WANT THERE TO BE ANY HARD FEELINGS BETWEEN US.

THERE IS NOTHING BETWEEN US--

GOOD, BAD OR OTHERWISE.

AND IF YOU TRY TO STOP THIS DOOR FROM CLOSING ONE MORE TIME,

I WILL DISLOCATE YOUR SHOULDER.

BLIMEY, I LIKE YOUR STYLE, MAJOR.

YOU MUST BE A HELLCAT IN THE...

[ soft music playing ]

[ alarm clock ringing ]HMM?

[ tranquil music playing ]

[ exhales ]

[ chuckles ]

WELL, GOOD MORNING. HEY.

WELL, THIS A SURPRISE. I COULDN'T SLEEP

SO I THOUGHT I'D COME OVER AND MAKE YOU BREAKFAST.

OH... [ smooches ]

OH, YOU'RE SWEATY. WELL, YOU KNOW,

THIS GIRLISH FIGURE DOESN'T COME WITHOUT SACRIFICE.

UH-HUH...

YOU OUGHT TO COME RUNNING WITH ME SOMETIME.

AH, NO, THANKS.

MEDICAL STUDIES PROVE WOMEN NEED MORE BODY FAT THAN MEN.

OH, REALLY? WHO SPONSORED THAT STUDY?

HOSTESS TWINKIES?

FUNNY. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY RUNNING

WITH A BROKEN KNEECAP?

OH, YOU'RE VICIOUS WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY.

I'M GOING TO TAKE A SHOWER

BUT I'LL BE BACK.

YOU DO THAT.

[ shower rains ]

[ tranquil music playing ]

HARM?

[ pager beeping ]

Harriet: HEADS UP!

WIDE LOAD COMING THROUGH. [ indistinct chatter ]

CLEAR THE DECK.

GOOD MORNING, LIEUTENANT.

GOOD MORNING, TINER. HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?

UGH! MY BLADDER'S BEING CRUSHED

I CAN PRACTICALLY HEAR MY SKIN STRETCHING

AND I'M RETAINING SO MUCH WATER

THAT MY BUTT IS SHIFTING WITH THE TIDE.

WELL, AT LEAST IT'S FOR A GOOD CAUSE, MA'AM.

AND IF I MAY BE CANDID...

WELL, THERE ARE SOME MEN WHO FIND PREGNANT WOMEN VERY...

ATTRACTIVE.

WELL, THANK YOU, TINER.

I APPRECIATE THE COMPLIMENT.

BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER

THINK FOOT RUB.

AH.[ chuckles ]

HAVE YOU SEEN THE SAILOR WHO DID THIS TO ME?

MA'AM?LIEUTENANT ROBERTS.

MY HUSBAND.

AH! NEVER MIND.

THANK YOU.

Jason: GOOD MORNING, SIR.

Harriet: BUD?

MR. ROBERTS.

LIEUTENANT.

BUD!

[ phone rings ]

SWEETIE, I MADE A LIST FOR THE PHARMACY.

COULD YOU GO GET THESE THINGS FOR ME?

SURE. "PRENATAL VITAMINS..."

FOR A HEALTHY BABY. "VITAMIN 'E' CREAM..."

FOR MY STRETCH MARKS.

"BREAST PUMP."

IN CASE I HAVE TO EXPRESS SOME BREAST MILK.

EXCUSE ME.

WHAT?

YOU JUST GRIMACED.

NO, I DIDN'T.

YES, YOU DID.

I AM BASKING IN THE NATURAL GLOW OF MOTHERHOOD

AND YOU'RE GROSSED OUT.

NO, I'M NOT, AND...

AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS AT HOME? LATER?

THERE'S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT.

I AM PREGNANT WITH YOUR BABY, BUD

AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, THERE ARE SOME MEN AROUND HERE

THAT FIND A WOMAN IN MY STATE SEXY.

[ scoffs ] YEAH? NAME ONE.

[ ominous music playing ]

HOLD THE ELEVATOR, PLEASE.

THANKS, MAJOR.

READY TO GO AT IT? [ jarring indication ]

EXCUSE ME? IN COURT TODAY.

[ electric crackles ] [ tense music playing ]

UH...

MORE CUTBACKS IN MILITARY SPENDING?

[ soft music playing ]

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

WHAT?

THINK ABOUT WHAT?

DID YOU TELL LIEUTENANT SIMS THAT SHE WAS SEXY?

SIR? IT'S A SIMPLE QUESTION, TINER.

DID YOU TELL THE LIEUTENANT THAT YOU WERE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO HER?

NO, SIR.

NO?

THE LIEUTENANT WAS FEELING BLUE, SIR.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER.

I DON'T RECALL THAT BEING PART OF YOUR DUTIES, PETTY OFFICER.

GET YOUR OWN PREGNANT WIFE.

Albert: LIEUTENANT.

DO YOU HAVE A GOOD REASON

FOR BADGERING PETTY OFFICER TINER?

NO, SIR.

THEN I SUGGEST THAT YOU GET BACK TO WORK

AND GET YOUR OWN PETTY OFFICER.

YES, SIR.

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN.

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN DURING FATHERHOOD.

ANY QUESTIONS?

NO, SIR.Albert: GOOD.

[ door slams ]

[ tranquil music playing ]

[ door knocks ]

"THE ROLE OF THE MILITARY JUSTICE

"MUST EVOLVE ALONG WITH... [ door knocks ]

WITH SOCIETY, IF... IF..." [ door opens ]

Albert: YOU EVER HEARD OF KNOCKING?

I DID, SIR.

WELL, OBVIOUSLY, I DIDN'T HEAR YOU.

I'M SORRY. SORRY. COME ON IN.

I'VE GOT TO... MAKE A SPEECH

TO THE HOUSE NATIONAL SECURITY SUBCOMMITTEE THIS AFTERNOON.

UH, CAN THIS WAIT?

WELL, SIR, I'VE BEEN PUTTING THIS OFF FOR TWO DAYS ALREADY.

ADMIRAL, IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND.

SIR, I'D LIKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO CHANGE MY DESIGNATOR.

I JOINED THE NAVY TO SERVE AS A NAVAL AVIATOR

WHICH I WAS FORCED TO ABANDON BECAUSE OF A MEDICAL PROBLEM

WHICH HAS SINCE BEEN CORRECTED.

SIR, I'VE ENJOYED MY TIME HERE AT JAG

ESPECIALLY SERVING UNDER YOU, ADMIRAL, BUT I...

I ALSO BELIEVE THAT I COULD BE OF SERVICE TO THE NAVY

AND TO MY COUNTRY IF I RETURNED TO ACTIVE FLIGHT STATUS.

NICE SPEECH.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN PRACTICING?

ABOUT A WEEK, SIR.WANT TO ADDRESS CONGRESS?

NO, SIR. THANK YOU.

BUT YOU DO WANT TO LEAVE JAG?

SIR, IT'S NOT SO MUCH THAT I WANT TO LEAVE JAG AS...

IT'S... I WANT THE OPPORTUNITY

TO RETURN TO A FIGHTER SQUAD.

ADMIRAL, I WAS FORCED TO GIVE UP FLYING.

IT WAS NEVER MY DECISION

AND IF I DECIDE TO STAY HERE AT JAG,

I WOULD LIKE IT TO BE MY DECISION.

MM-HMM.

WELL, THIS SOUNDS STUPID

BUT, UM, HAVE YOU GIVEN THIS A LOT OF THOUGHT, COMMANDER?

DAY AND NIGHT, SIR, FOR QUITE SOME TIME.

IF YOU GO BACK TO A SQUADRON, UH--

PROVIDING THAT YOU CAN PASS THE FLIGHT PHYSICAL...

I CAN PASS THE FLIGHT PHYSICAL.

YOU'LL BE GOING BACKWARDS.

HELL, YOU MIGHT BE TAKING ORDERS FROM GUYS HALF YOUR AGE.

I DON'T THINK THERE ARE MANY 17-YEAR-OLD FIGHTER PILOTS, SIR.

NOT TOO MANY 35-YEAR-OLD JAG LAWYERS

FLYING THESE DAYS EITHER, COMMANDER.

WELL, I'D LIKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE THE FIRST, SIR.

WELL, I THINK WE SHOULD DISCUSS THIS AT LENGTH.

ADMIRAL, I LOVE THE LAW

BUT ALL I'VE EVER REALLY WANTED TO DO IS FLY.

SO DID ICARUS.

ICARUS NEVER FLEW AN F-14, SIR.

[ scoffs ]

AS COMMANDING OFFICER, I SOMETIMES HAVE TO MAKE DECISIONS

THAT I CONSIDER THE BEST FOR MY PEOPLE.

OCCASIONALLY, THOSE DECISIONS

ARE IN OPPOSITION TO THE INDIVIDUAL.

SIR, ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO APPROVE MY REQUEST?

YOU'LL NEED A LOT MORE THAN MY APPROVAL TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

BUT IT CAN'T HAPPEN WITHOUT YOUR APPROVAL.

I HAVE A SPEECH TO GIVE THIS AFTERNOON, COMMANDER.

I WILL GIVE YOU MY DECISION IN DUE TIME. DISMISSED.

AYE, AYE, SIR.

[ melancholy music playing ]

THANK YOU, SIR.

[ door closes ]

[ sighs ]

[ dramatic music playing ]

[ Mackenzie chuckles ] YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?

Man on phone: SORRY, MA'AM. [ sighs ]

THEY SAY IT COULD TAKE UP TO 30 MINUTES

FOR A TECHNICIAN TO GET HERE.

THEN WE'LL JUST HAVE TO SPEND THIS TIME

GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER A LITTLE BETTER.

[ chuckles ] LET'S NOT.

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF, MAJOR--

THAT YOU MIGHT FIND YOURSELF LIKING ME?

LOOK, COMMANDER, I LIKE YOU.

I THINK YOU'RE A NICE ENOUGH GUY.

AND YOU'RE A PRETTY GOOD LAWYER...

STOP. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME.

I'M JUST NOT INTERESTED IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU...

OR ANYONE ELSE RIGHT NOW.

AND IS THIS A HARD AND FAST RULE

AGAINST DATING THOSE WITHIN YOUR COMMAND

OR IS IT MORE OF A GUIDELINE?

IT'S A COMMANDMENT.

I HAD A BOYFRIEND DIE IN A CAR ACCIDENT...

MY... EX-HUSBAND IS DEAD, AND, UH...

A LAWYER I WAS INVOLVED WITH WAS MURDERED.

DO YOU SEE A PATTERN HERE?

YEAH, I DO.

NOT A DAMN AUSTRALIAN IN THE LOT.

[ both laughing ]

[ chuckles ]

WH-WHY ME?

HONESTLY?YEAH.

YOU KIND OF REMIND ME OF MY MOTHER.

YOUR MOTHER?

LET ME GIVE YOU A LITTLE ADVICE ON THAT, MIC.

THAT LINE MIGHT WORK WITH WOMEN DOWN UNDER

BUT AS A RULE

AMERICAN WOMEN DON'T LIKE BEING COMPARED TO ANYONE'S MOTHER.

I'M PULLING YOUR LEG, MAJOR.

MY MOM WAS THREE TIMES YOUR SIZE AND TWICE AS MEAN.

[ both chuckle ]

BUT, GOSH, SHE WAS A SPECIAL LADY...

AND I JUST THINK YOU ARE, TOO.

THAT'S ALL.

IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE ELEVATOR?

YEAH. IT'S STUCK BETWEEN FLOORS, MA'AM.

I'D TAKE THE STAIRS IF I WERE YOU.

OH... IF YOU WERE ME, YOU'D BE AT HOME WHINING

WITH YOUR FEET UP.

[ elevator thuds and dings ]

HAVE TO DO THAT AGAIN SOMETIME SOON.

THANK YOU. I THINK I'LL PASS.

[ soft music playing ]

[chuckles]

Roberts: ON MAY 2ND, 1998

LANCE CORPORAL EDWARD CARR TURNED 21.

HE DECIDED TO CELEBRATE HIS BIRTHDAY WITH HIS FELLOW MARINES

AT A LOCAL WATERING HOLE.

YES, HE HAD A LITTLE TOO MUCH TO DRINK

AND YES, HIS STAFF N.C.O.HAD TO DRIVE HIM HOME...

ONLY SHE DIDN'T DRIVE HIM TO HISPLACE.

SHE TOOK HIM TO HER PLACE, PRESUMABLY TO DRY OUT.

TWO WEEKS LATER, HE WAS REPRIMANDED FOR HIS BEHAVIOR.

THIS WAS TO BECOME THE FIRST OF MANY UNFAVORABLE REPORTS

AND EVALUATIONS FILED AGAINST MY CLIENT

WHICH ULTIMATELY LED TO A SPECIAL COURT-MARTIAL

FOR DERELICTION OF DUTY DUE TO CULPABLE INEFFICIENCY.

THE POINT OF THIS HEARING, PLEASE?

NEW INFORMATION HAS COME TO OUR ATTENTION

WHICH HAS A DIRECT BEARING ON THIS CASE, YOUR HONOR.

SPECIFICS, MR. ROBERTS.

IF STAFF SERGEANT MORRIS WOULD BE SO KIND AS TO STAND UP?

OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR. THE STAFF SERGEANT IS NOT ON TRIAL HERE.

WE PUT THIS CASE TO BED ALMOST A YEAR AGO?

Judge: COMMANDER IMES HAS A POINT, LIEUTENANT.

I BELIEVE THE EVIDENCE SPEAKS FOR ITSELF, SIR.

HUMOR HIM.

[ tense music playing ]

Roberts: YOUR HONOR, IT IS OUR INTENTION TO PROVE

THAT STAFF SERGEANT AILEEN MORRIS

PURPOSEFULLY ORCHESTRATED THE SEDUCTION OF CORPORAL CARR

WITH THE INTENTION OF GETTING HERSELF PREGNANT

THEN TOOK STEPS TO DISTANCE THE CORPORAL FROM HERSELF

IN ORDER TO KEEP HER SCHEME A SECRET.

YOU'RE KIDDING. Roberts: NO, SIR.

YOUR HONOR, THIS IS INSULTING TO THE STAFF SERGEANT AS WELL AS THE COURT.

CAN YOU PROVE THAT THE CHILD SHE'S CARRYING IS HIS?

A SIMPLE DNA TEST WOULD DO SO, YOUR HONOR.

THE STAFF SERGEANT HAS NO INTENTION OF SUBMITTING HERSELF

OR HER UNBORN BABY TO ANY UNNECESSARY MEDICAL PROCEDURES

ESPECIALLY THIS LATE IN HER PREGNANCY.

DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER EVIDENCE

TO SUBSTANTIATE YOUR CLAIM, LIEUTENANT?YES, SIR.

THEN WE WILL PROCEED WITH THIS HEARING TOMORROW AT 1400.

[ pounds gavel ]

UH, WHAT OTHER EVIDENCE DO WE HAVE, SIR?

I'M WORKING ON IT.

Mackenzie: SURPRISE! woman 2: SURPRISE!

[ laughing ]Harriet: OH, YOU GUYS!

IT IS A BOY, RIGHT?WHOOPS.

WHEN LAST WE CHECKED, WITH FINGERS CROSSED...

[ gasping ] THIS IS SO ADORABLE![ laughs ]

LOOK AT THIS! WHERE IN THE WORLD DID YOU FIND IT?

CAROLYN PICKED IT OUT. THEY, UH, THEY DIDN'T HAVE MARINE GREENS.

OH, IT'S SO CUTE. BUD'S GONNA LOVE IT. YOU GUYS DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS.

ARE YOU KIDDING? I LOVE SHOPPING FOR BABY CLOTHES.

OF COURSE, I ONLY GET TO BUY THEM WHEN A FRIEND'S HAVING A BABY.

OH, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LITTLE OUTFITS THEY HAD FOR GIRLS.

THESE LITTLE CAPRI PANTS WITH A LEOPARD-PRINT TOP AND MATCHING...

SHOES!SHOES!

Mackenzie: YOU'RE SO LUCKY, HARRIET.

I WISH I WAS HAVING A BABY.

DON'T YOU, MAC?

WELL, I-I THINK I SHOULD PROBABLY HAVE

A-A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE FIRST.OH...

[ laughing ] OH, YEAH...DETAILS, DETAILS.

Carolyn: YEAH, GETTING PREGNANT'S THE EASY PART.

FINDING THE RIGHT GUY-- THAT'S THE HARD PART.

WELL, NOT FOR HARRIET.HEY...

YOU KNOW-- MAYBE BUD COULD GET US ALL PREGNANT.

[ both laughing ]

LOOK AT THE PANTS![ laughs ]

[ doorbell buzzing ]

HEY!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?

UH, YOU WEREN'T HOME. I WAS GOING TO LEAVE.

WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE LET YOURSELF IN AND WAITED INSIDE, YOU NUT.

[ sighing ]

HEY, WHAT'S UP? IT SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING'S WRONG.

YOU TELL ME.

BEFORE I LEFT THIS MORNING, I SAW YOUR REQUEST TO CHANGE YOUR DESIGNATOR.

[ sighing ]

I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU. TELL ME WHAT, HARM?

YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T FLY BECAUSE OF YOUR EYES.

I HAD THEM FIXED, LASER ABLATION.

SO YOU CAN GO BACK TO FLYING?

IT'S A LONG SHOT, BUT, UH...

IF MY, UH, REQUEST IS APPROVED

AND IF I DECIDE THAT, UH...

THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO DO AND, UH, IF I MAKE MY QUALIFICATIONS...

A LOT OF "IFS" THERE.

BUT YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE YOU HAVEN'T DECIDED YET.I HAVEN'T.

BUT YOU SUBMITTED YOUR LETTER?

THIS MORNING.

IT'S THE FIRST STEP IN A LONG PROCESS, JORDAN, YOU KNOW THAT.

I'VE BEEN DUMPED FOR ANOTHER WOMAN BEFORE,

BUT I'VE NEVER BEEN DUMPED FOR AN AIRPLANE.

I'M NOT DUMPING YOU.

LOOK, JORDAN, FRANKLY, YOU'RE ONE OF THE REASONS

THAT I HAVEN'T MADE UP MY MIND.

BUT IF I DO DECIDE TO RETURN TO A SQUADRON, IT DOESN'T CHANGE WHAT WE HAVE.

IT DOES FOR ME.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH HARMON RABB THE LAWYER,

NOT A FIGHTER PILOT I MIGHT SEE TWICE A YEAR IF I'M LUCKY.

I'M THE SAME MAN, JORDAN.

YOU'RE NOT MAKING THIS EASY.

WHY SHOULD I?

THE MAN I LOVE JUST TOLD ME HE'S THINKING ABOUT LEAVING.

JAG, NOT YOU.IT'S THE SAME THING!

CALL ME WHEN YOU'VE MADE UP YOUR MIND.

JORDAN...[ door slams ]

[ gloomy music playing ]

[ sighs ]

Chloe: IF YOU MARRIED MY DAD, THEN I COULD HAVE A MOM FOR REAL.

AND THEN YOU TWO COULD HAVE A BABY

AND THEN I'D HAVE PARENTS AND A LITTLE SISTER.

YOU KNOW, YOUR DAD'S GOING TO HAVE HIS HANDS FULL

WITH ONE NEW WOMAN-- HE DOESN'T NEED ME.

BUT I DO.

I'M ONLY A PHONE CALL AWAY.

[ knock at door ]

BE RIGHT BACK.

[ tranquil music playing ]

HI, THERE. HEY.

OH, HI, CHLOE.

HEY, HARM.

I'M... SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD COMPANY.

OH, NO, WE'RE JUST HAVING A SLUMBER PARTY HERE.

ARE YOU OKAY?

YEAH, I'M-I'M-I'M GOOD.

I WAS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD. I THOUGHT I'D STOP BY.

DO YOU GUYS WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE?

YEAH. NO.

[ clears throat ] THAT'S OKAY.

I GOT TO GO PUT ON MY JAMMIES ANYWAY.

YOU TWO BEHAVE YOURSELVES OUT HERE.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

WELL, UH...

JORDAN AND I HAD A FIGHT.

MMM, LET ME GUESS, SHE, UH, WANTS A COMMITMENT?

HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?

WELL, IT'S... WHAT EVERY WOMAN WANTS, I GUESS.

[ chuckles ] WHAT, YOU'RE NOT-- YOU'RE NOT READY TO COMMIT?

WELL, THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT HAVE CHANGED, MAC.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I HAD EYE SURGERY. I GOT MY NIGHT VISION BACK.

WHAT?

WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?A COUPLE WEEKS AGO.

YOU HAD A MAJOR OPERATION AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?

A TRIPLE BYPASS IS A MAJOR OPERATION, MAC.

EYE SURGERY'S LIKE HAVING YOUR TEETH CLEANED.

I TELL YOU WHEN I'M GOING TO THE DENTIST.

WELL, I WASN'T SURE HOW IT WOULD WORK OUT, FRANKLY.

BUT IT DID?

OH, LIKE A DREAM.

OH...

[ sighing ] SO, WHAT NOW? YOU THINKING ABOUT TRYING...

TO RETURN TO A... FIGHTER SQUADRON?

I SPENT MY LIFE PREPARING TO BE A NAVAL AVIATOR, MAC.

YEAH, EXCEPT FOR THREE YEARS IN LAW SCHOOL AND...

FOUR YEARS AS A JAG.

I, UH... I PUT MY REQUEST IN TO ADMIRAL CHEGWIDDEN TODAY

TO RETURN TO ACTIVE FLIGHT STATUS.

YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE IF YOU DO, IT WOULD MEAN THAT FLYING IS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU THAN JAG,

IT'S MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU THAN JORDAN

AND IT'S MORE IMPORTANT TO... TO YOU THAN EVERYTHING.

WELL, I THOUGHT YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE,

WOULD KNOW HOW MUCH FLYING MEANS TO ME.I DO.

I DO, HARM

BUT THIS IS THE LAST THING THAT I NEED RIGHT NOW. [ chuckles ]

YOU'RE STARTING TO SOUND A LOT LIKE JORDAN, MAC.

YOU GUYS ALMOST FINISHED?

YEAH, I GUESS SO.

YEAH.

WELL, UH...

WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT LATER.

I BETTER GET GOING.

SEE YOU LATER, CHLOE.

GOOD-BYE.CUTE TOES!

VERY COLORFUL. IT'S JUST THE BEST.

CATCHY. YEP.

[ sighs ]

I THINK I UNDERSTAND NOW WHY YOU CAN'T MARRY MY DAD.

YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HARM.

[ tranquil music playing ]

[ knocking ]

GOOD EVENING, MAJOR.

MIC...

UH...

THESE ARE FOR YOU... [ chuckling ]: WOW, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU.

AND THIS, LITTLE LADY... IS FOR YOU.

THANK YOU. LIEUTENANT COMMANDER, MIC BRUMBY,

THIS IS MY LITTLE SISTER, CHLOE.

IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, CHLOE.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A SISTER, MAC.

OH, SHE'S NOT REALLY MY SISTER.

MAC'S KIND OF LIKE MY SURROGATE MOTHER.

[ chuckles ]

SO, WHO'S UP FOR PIZZA? I AM.

YOU JUST HAD TWO POUNDS OF CHICKEN WINGS.

I AM AT A VITAL STAGE OF MY DEVELOPMENT

AND I REQUIRE LOTS OF PROTEIN.

PROTEIN, YES-- PIZZA, NO.

MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME, MIC.

BAD TIMING, HUH? THE WORST.

SAY GOOD NIGHT, MIC."GOOD NIGHT, MIC."

[ all laughing ]

[ inaudible ]BYE.

[ sighs ]

I THINK THAT AUSTRALIAN REALLY LIKES YOU.

[ chuckles ]

LUCKY ME.

ARE YOU SAD BECAUSE HARM MIGHT LEAVE JAG?

WERE YOU EAVESDROPPING?

IT'S A SMALL APARTMENT.MMM...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M FEELING.

[ crickets chirping ]

WELL, IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER,

YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT HARM'S IN LOVE WITH YOU, TOO.

HARM HAS A GIRLFRIEND.

A WOMAN CAN SENSE THIS KIND OF THING.

OH, REALLY?

YES, REALLY.

♪ HARM AND MAC ♪

♪ SITTIN' IN A TREE ♪

♪ K-I-S-S-I-N... ♪

G!

[ both laughing ]

[ both laughing ]

[ both sighing ]

HOW COME BOYS DON'T GET ANY SMARTER WITH AGE? [ chuckles ]

THAT'S ONE OF NATURE'S GREATEST MYSTERIES.

I'M GOING TO MISS YOU, KIDDO.

I'M GOING TO MISS YOU, TOO.

[ sighs ]

[ indistinct chatter ]

Man: SOMETIMES, I COME HERE TO REMIND MYSELF WHY WE DO THE THINGS WE DO.

NOW, WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM, A.J.?

I, UM...

I NEED TO ASK A FAVOR, SIR.

WELL, I'M NOT ONE WHO GRANTS MANY FAVORS, ADMIRAL.

NOR AM I ONE TO ASK.

SO, WHAT IS IT?

IT'S, UM, IT'S ABOUT COMMANDER RABB.

OH, WHAT'S HE DONE NOW?

IT'S NOT SO MUCH WHAT HE'S DONE.

IT'S WHAT HE MAY WANT TO DO--

CHANGE HIS DESIGNATOR.

IF HE WANTS TO FLY, TELL HIM TO HOP ON A RED-EYE TO VEGAS.

THE NAVY IS NOT IN THE PRACTICE OF SPENDING MILLIONS OF DOLLARS

RETRAINING PILOTS WHO ARE PAST THEIR PRIME.

SIR, HE WAS, UM, HE WAS GROUNDED, UH...

DUE TO A VISION PROBLEM THAT'S SINCE BEEN CORRECTED.

RABB'S A DAMN FINE AVIATOR AND HE JUST WANTS THE OPTION TO FLY AGAIN.

KNOWING FULL WELL IT'S CAREER SUICIDE?[ scoffs ]

WELL, SIR, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, IT IS HIS CAREER.

WELL, IT WAS UNTIL NOW.

NOW, I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE ME, A.J...

MR. SECRETARY...AND TO BE HONEST, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN

BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT COMING HERE AND ASKING ME FOR HELP

MUST BE ABOUT THE HARDEST THING IN THE WORLD FOR YOU.

SO, WHY ARE YOU PUTTING YOURSELF THROUGH THIS?

RABB HAS GIVEN YOU MORE TROUBLE THAN ANYONE ELSE UNDER YOUR COMMAND.

WHY ARE YOU GOING TO THE WALL FOR HIM?

I BELIEVE IN HIM, SIR.

WELL, THAT MAKES ONE OF US.

RABB'S BEEN A THORN IN MY SIDE

EVER SINCE I FIRST HEARD HIS NAME.

SO, I CAN'T SAY AS I HAVE ANY REAL DESIRE TO HELP HIM.

ON THE OTHER HAND, IT WOULD BE A GOOD OPPORTUNITY

TO GET HIM THE HELL OUT OF WASHINGTON. I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.

I APPRECIATE IT, SIR. I OWE YOU ONE.

YES... YOU DO.

Roberts: I'D LIKE TO OFFER INTO EVIDENCE EXHIBITS "G" AND "H"--

PERFORMANCE EVALUATION RECOMMENDATIONS

FROM STAFF SERGEANT MORRIS TO THE COMMANDING OFFICER.

Carolyn: OBJECTION. IRRELEVANT.

I'M NOT DONE, SIR.

OVERRULED. GET TO YOUR POINT, LIEUTENANT.

MY CLIENT HAD AN EXEMPLARY RECORD

BEFORE HE WAS SEDUCED BY THE STAFF SERGEANT.

AFTER THAT... OBJECTION. FACTS NOT IN EVIDENCE.

WE HAVE SEEN NO PROOF OF THIS ALLEGED SEDUCTION.

OH, REALLY?

I SUPPOSE THAT THIS IS A BOWLING BALL UNDERNEATH HER UNIFORM.

Judge: LIEUTENANT, ANOTHER REMARK LIKE THAT AND I'LL CITE YOU WITH CONTEMPT.

SORRY, SIR. DON'T APOLOGIZE TO ME -- TO THE STAFF SERGEANT.

I APOLOGIZE.

YOU'RE 32 YEARS OLD AND HAVE A HISTORY

OF FAILED RELATIONSHIPS, CORRECT? OBJECTION. HEARSAY.

Judge: SUSTAINED.

IS IT NOT TRUE THAT YOU WANT TO BE A MOTHER AND HAVE A FAMILY

BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE A HUSBAND OR A BOYFRIEND

OR REALLY ANY MAN IN YOUR LIFE?

CAN YOU BLAME ME, SIR?

YOU SAW A POTENTIAL FATHER IN LANCE CORPORAL CARR.

YOU SEDUCED HIM WITH THE INTENTION OF GETTING PREGNANT

THEN, YOU GAVE HIM A BAD EVALUATION.

OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR. THE LIEUTENANT IS EDITORIALIZING.

Judge: SUSTAINED.

ASK A QUESTION, LIEUTENANT, OR REST.

WHY DID YOU KEEP THIS PREGNANCY A SECRET FROM LANCE CORPORAL CARR?

IT WAS NONE OF HIS BUSINESS, SIR.

Carolyn: YOUR HONOR, THE STAFF SERGEANT HAS BEEN

MORE THAN PATIENT WITH MR. ROBERTS.

I WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST THAT WE PUT AN END TO THIS NOW.

SHE'S GOT A POINT.

NOW, I'VE GIVEN YOU EVERY CHANCE BUT YOU'RE SPINNING YOUR WHEELS.

I'VE HEARD ENOUGH.

ONE LAST QUESTION, YOUR HONOR.

MAKE IT SNAPPY.

STAFF SERGEANT MORRIS, DID YOU SEDUCE MY CLIENT

WITH THE PURPOSE OF GETTING PREGNANT

THEN TAKE STEPS TO TRANSFER HIM

THE MOMENT THAT YOU REALIZED YOU'D CONCEIVED?

IT'S A SIMPLE QUESTION.

PLEASE ANSWER THE QUESTION, STAFF SERGEANT.

FAILURE TO DO SO IS AS GOOD AS AN ADMISSION OF GUILT.

OBJECTION-- BADGERING.

WITNESS IS BEING UNCOOPERATIVE, SIR.

I CAN'T ANSWER, SIR.

THE WITNESS IS HOSTILE, YOUR HONOR.I'M NOT HOSTILE, SIR.

I THINK MY WATER BROKE.

NICE JOB, LIEUTENANT. YOU BADGERED HER INTO LABOR.

Judge: WE'LL RECESS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.

[ gavel thuds ]

HOW YOU DOING, STAFF SERGEANT?

I'VE BEEN BETTER, SIR.

ALL RIGHT, COMMANDER, LIEUTENANT, WILL YOU HELP THE STAFF SERGEANT

INTO ONE OF THE BENCHES, PLEASE?

OH, BOY. JUST BREATHE THROUGH IT.

[ exhales ] DO YOU HAVE ANYBODY WE CAN CALL

TO TAKE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL?NO.

I CAN TAKE HER TO THE HOSPITAL.

I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA,

LANCE CORPORAL, ALL THINGS CONSIDERED.

OOH. [ grunting ]

I-I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS ALONE.

WELL, THEN, LET ME TAKE YOU.

IT'S YOUR CALL, STAFF SERGEANT.

HE SHOULD BE THERE.

HE IS THE FATHER.

I AM?

YEAH.REALLY?

YEAH.

WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS LATER...

AFTER YOU GET ME TO THE HOSPITAL.

Judge: CONGRATULATIONS, LIEUTENANT.

YOU JUST WON YOUR RIGHT TO APPEAL.

[ Sergeant Morris moans softly ]

[ knocking at door ]

Albert: ENTER!

SIR.

AT EASE.

I, UM, SPOKE TO THE SECNAV

CONCERNING YOUR REQUEST TO CHANGE OF DESIGNATOR.

IT'S IN HIS HANDS NOW.

THANK YOU, SIR. DON'T THANK ME, COMMANDER.

FOR THE RECORD, IF YOU DO THIS

IT'LL BE THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE DONE SINCE I'VE BEEN HERE.

WELL, I'M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY, ADMIRAL.

IF YOU OPPOSE IT SO STRONGLY, SIR

WHY GO THE SECNAV IN THE FIRST PLACE?

I'M AFRAID I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS RIGHT NOW, COMMANDER.

I'M TRYING TO FIND YOUR REPLACEMENT

UNLESS I CAN CONVINCE COMMANDER BRUMBY

TO EXTEND THE LENGTH OF HIS EXCHANGE PROGRAM.

YOU'RE CONSIDERING REPLACING ME WITH BRUMBY, SIR?

BETTER SOONER THAN LATER. DISMISSED.

AYE, AYE, SIR.

[ door opens ]

[ door closes ]

[ sighs ]

I DON'T THINK I COULD EVER THANK YOU ENOUGH

FOR BRINGING CHLOE AND ME TOGETHER, MAJOR.

IT WAS MY PLEASURE, CHIEF.

I HOPE YOU'LL CONTINUE TO PLAY AN IMPORTANT ROLE IN MY DAUGHTER'S LIFE NOW.

I WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY, CHIEF.

WE'RE ABOUT AS CLOSE TO A FAMILY

AS THREE STRANGERS COULD BE, MA'AM.

SO... YOU BETTER CALL ME KYLE FROM HERE ON IN.

OKAY, KYLE.

[ sighs ]

WELL, I WISH WE COULD STAY LONGER

BUT WE'VE GOT A PLANE TO CATCH.

THANKS AGAIN, MAJOR.

I'LL SEND YOU A LETTER AS SOON AS I GET TO MY GRANDPARENTS.

YOU BETTER. [ laughs ] I WILL...

AND A PICTURE OF ME RIDING A HORSE.

COOL.

COME ON, YOU.

[ sighs ]

[ tranquil music playing ]

BE GOOD.

I WILL.

[ sighs ]

[ laughing ]

BYE.

[ sighs ] BYE.

[ groans ]

HELLO.

OOH... [ sighs ]

[ groans ]

OH.

MMM.

[ sighs ]

[ sighs ]

[ clears throat ]

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING SPECIFIC, MAJOR?

[ sighing ] UH, YEAH-- SOMETHING WITH ENOUGH SUGAR TO PUT ME INTO A COMA.

ONE OF YOUR CASES GIVING YOU TROUBLE?

OH, IT'S NOT WORK, SIR.

MY CAREER IS GREAT.

IT'S MY LIFE THAT SUCKS.

WOULD YOU, UH...

WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT?

NOT REALLY, SIR.

WELL, IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO...

THERE ISN'T.

I... I'M SORRY...

BUT... YOU'RE ONE OF THEM.

EXCUSE ME?

DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD, SIR?

[ chuckles uncomfortably ]

I'M SORRY, ADMIRAL. I MEANT NO OFFENSE. IT'S JUST THAT...

YOU'RE A MAN AND, AS USUAL, MOST OF MY PROBLEMS COME FROM MEN.

WHO MIGHT IT BE THIS TIME?

THE COMMANDER.BRUMBY OR RABB?

[ sighs ] BOTH OF THEM, SIR.

HMM.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, SIR.

OH.

OW! AH-AH, OW, OW, OW-OW-OW, AH, AH.

AH.

[ grunting ]

[ groans ]

OW!

[ gasps ]

[ tranquil music playing ]

[ groaning ]

OW, OW, OW, OW, OW.

OW!

HARRIET, WHA...?

IT'S TIME, SIR.

YOU... YOU MEAN IT'S BABY TIME?

YES, SIR. [ panting ]

UH...

CAN-CAN YOU GET UP?

EASY. OW.

OKAY, HERE, PUT YOUR ARM AROUND MY WAIST.

THERE YOU GO.[ groaning ]

WE HAVE TO STOP MEETING LIKE THIS, HARRIET.

PEOPLE ARE GOING TO TALK.

DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH, SIR.

I'M GOING TO DROP IT RIGHT HERE.

OW! DON'T EVEN KID LIKE THAT, OKAY?

WHO'S KIDDING? [ groaning ]

Rabb: TINER.

SIR.[ Harriet groans ]

GET LIEUTENANT ROBERTS ON THE DOUBLE.

Jason: YES, SIR.

SIT.

UH, CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING?

YOU DON'T HAVE AN EPIDURAL IN YOUR DESK DO YOU, SIR? [ grunts ]

UH, OKAY, HANG IN THERE AND, UH...

LIEUTENANT ROBERTS WILL BE HERE SOON

AND HE'LL GET YOU TO THE HOSPITAL IN NO TIME.

[ groaning ]

LIEUTENANT, SHE'S IN LABOR.

YES, PETTY OFFICER TINER, SHE IS, BUT WE HAVE EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL.

[ groans ]NO, SIR, NOT HER.

I MEAN, SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE'S IN LABOR, TOO, BUT IT'S LIEUTENANT SIMS.

HARRIET? HARRIET'S IN LABOR?

MY WIFE IS IN LABOR. I GOT TO... UH...

ARE YOU GOING TO BE OKAY HERE?WE'LL BE FINE.

'CAUSE I GOTTA--GO! GO!

GOOD LUCK, STAFF SERGEANT MORRIS.

YOU TOO, LIEUTENANT. [ groaning ]

HARRIET? ARE YOU IN LABOR?

THAT'S A BIG 10-4, MAJOR.WHERE'S BUD?

Roberts: HARRIET!

ARE YOU HAVING A CONTRACTION?

[ both breathing ]

THAT WAS, UH... WOW. THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT.

YOUR CONTRACTIONS ARE TOO LONG, SWEETIE.

TELL THAT TO MY UTERUS.

HOW FAR APART...?[ gasps ]

[ groans ]ARE YOU HAVING ANOTHER CONTRACTION?

THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN LIKE THIS.

SO SUE ME.

HAS YOUR WATER BROKEN?

YES, SIR. I THINK SO, SIR.

I'M GOING TO GO GET THE VAN, SWEETY.

OH, HEY, HEY...SORRY, IT'S AN EMERGENCY.

I'M STILL WORKING ON THAT.

[ thuds ]

OH, NO.

HARRIET!

[ groans ]

Mackenzie: SHE'S HAVING DOUBLE-PEAKED CONTRACTIONS.

THE ELEVATOR'S NOT WORKING. SHE'S NEVER GOING TO MAKE IT DOWN THE STAIRS.

I'LL CALL AN AMBULANCE.

OKAY, WHO'S YOUR DOCTOR?

DR. BRADLEY AT BANNEKER. 555-0110.

I'LL CALL HIM.

TINER, STAY WITH HER.

JUST BREATHE, MA'AM.

[ breathing ]

[ bangs on door ]

YOU GOT TO GET ME OUT OF HERE. I'M HAVING A BABY.

THERE'LL BE AN AMBULANCE HERE ANY MINUTE.

I THINK I NEED TO LIE DOWN, SIR.

LET'S PUT HER IN THE ADMIRAL'S OFFICE.

OKAY.TINER, SEE IF YOU CAN FIND A BLANKET

AND SOMETHING FOR HER TO LIE DOWN ON, WILL YOU?AYE, SIR.

WHAT CAN WE DO TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER, HARRIET?

SHOOT ME.RIGHT HERE.

OKAY, HOLD HER.YEAH.

OKAY. ALL RIGHTOKAY. EASY.

OH, MAN!

[ groans ]

YOU OKAY?MM-HMM.

OKAY. BE RIGHT BACK.

WHAT?

THE DOCTOR SAID SHE SKIPPED RIGHT THROUGH

THE FIRST STAGE OF LABOR, AND WENT INTO THE SECOND.

THAT'S WHY HER LABOR'S SO HARD.

THAT'S OUR HARRIET-- ALWAYS THE OVERACHIEVER.

WHAT'S ALL THE COMMOTION?

HARRIET'S GONE INTO LABOR.

GIVE THEM HELL, LIEUTENANT.

[ groaning ]

WHAT IF SHE STARTS TO HAVE THE BABY

BEFORE THE AMBULANCE GETS HERE?SHE WON'T.

YEAH, BUT IF SHE DOES, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. YOU'VE DELIVERED BABIES BEFORE, RIGHT?

BABY. BABY-- ONE.

BUT THE FACT IS, YOU'VE DONE IT.

MAC, IT'S SOMETHING I DID ONCE.

I DON'T WANT TO DO IT AGAIN IF I CAN HELP IT.

I'LL DO IT.

YOU'VE DELIVERED A BABY?

YEAH. IT'S A PIECE OF CAKE.

DELIVERED DOZENS OF THEM BACK HOME IN OZ.

SORT OF COMES WITH LIVING IN THE OUTBACK.

REALLY? YOU EVER DELIVER ONE IN A HOSPITAL FULL OF TERRORISTS?

Mackenzie: I'LL GET OUT THE MEASURING STICK LATER, BOYS.

HARM, GO GET BUD. BRUMBY, YOU'RE WITH ME.

BEEN WAITING TO HEAR THAT.

ALL RIGHT, HARRIET, YOU'RE IN GOOD HANDS NOW.

COMMANDER BRUMBY'S DELIVERED BABIES BEFORE.THAT'S RIGHT, LIEUTENANT.

NOW DON'T YOU FRET.

MOTHER NATURE USUALLY SEES EVERYTHING GOES OFF WITHOUT A HITCH.

AND WHEN IT DOESN'T, WE'RE HERE TO GIVE HER A HAND.

JUST RELAX. BREATHE.OKAY

IT'S NOT A BREECH, IS IT?

BREECH? GOD, I HOPE NOT.

WELL, NO WORRIES IF IT IS.

YOU SEE, THE KEY IS TO GET A ROPE AROUND THEIR FEET.

A ROPE?I DON'T WANT A ROPE AROUND MY FEET.

NOT YOURS, LIEUTENANT, THE BABY'S.

BUT DON'T WORRY. [ groans ]

I ONCE DELIVERED EIGHT KIDS IN SIX HOURS.

AND ONE OF THEM HAD TWO HEADS.

[ gasps ]

THAT'S MORE COMMON IN SHEEP THAN HUMANS.

OUT!

WHAT? DID I SAY SOMETHING WRONG?

GOOD-BYE, DR. DOLITTLE.

HERE, LIEUTENANT. THIS WILL HELP YOU BREATHE EASIER

AND TAKE SOME OF THE EDGE OFF THE PAIN.

MY GRANDMOTHER'S A MIDWIFE.

MY MOM HAD MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS AT HOME.

WHERE'S BUD? I NEED HIM HERE.

HARM WENT TO GET HIM, SWEETIE.

YOU'RE IN GOOD HANDS, OKAY?

I KNOW IT'S DIFFICULT, MA'AM.

BUT JUST TRY AND RELAX.

I'M JUST GOING TO TAKE A QUICK PEEK AND SEE HOW FAR ALONG YOU ARE.

OKAY.

WHAT IS IT?

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

IT'S CROWNING.

I CAN SEE ITS HEAD.

THAT'S A GOOD THING, RIGHT?

THAT'S A GOOD THING, PETTY OFFICER?

TINER!

Mackenzie: HEY, WHERE'S BUD?I CAN'T FIND HIM.

HOW'S SHE DOING? EVERYTHING'S UNDER CONTROL.

[ crashes ] WAS.

TINER?

Rabb: HEY, YOU ALL RIGHT?

HE FAINTED.

NO, I DIDN'T.

LIKE A SCHOOLGIRL.

UH, PETTY OFFICER TINER, WHY DON'T YOU GO OUTSIDE AND GET SOME FRESH AIR?

YES, MA'AM.

[ phone ringing ]

YEAH?

YEAH, JUST A SECOND. [ Harriet groans ]

HARRIET, IT'S FOR YOU.

ME?

HELLO?

BUD, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?

I GOT STUCK IN THE ELEVATOR.

I KNOW, I KNOW, HARRIET. I JUST WASN'T THINKING.

JUST KEEP BREATHING.

[ breathing ]

OKAY, WHERE IS THE AMBULANCE?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT SHOULD BE HERE BY NOW.

I NEED TO PUSH.

NO. DON'T PUSH.NO. DON'T PUSH.

HARRIET? HARRIET? [ Harriet screams ] OW!

HANG ON, HARRIET, I'M COMING.

[ dramatic music playing ]

IS THE AMBULANCE HERE YET? woman: NO.

HAS ANYONE SEEN THE E.M.T. CREW? Man: NO WORD ON THAT, MA'AM.

[ sighs ]

EXCUSE ME, COLONEL, COMMANDER

AS SOON AS THE AMBULANCE GETS HERE,

WOULD YOU SEND THEM RIGHT TO THE ADMIRAL'S OFFICE?

THE AMBULANCE JUST LEFT WITH STAFF SERGEANT MORRIS, MAJOR.

WHO IS STAFF SERGEANT MORRIS?

SHE WAS A WITNESS. SHE WAS IN LABOR.

THEY TOOK THE WRONG PREGNANT LADY.

[ knocking ] Roberts: SOMEBODY OPEN THE DOOR!

BUD?

UH, OPEN IT UP.OKAY.

[ knocking ]Roberts: I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE. NOW. HELLO?

[ groans ]

WHAT THE HELL?ADMIRAL.

I CAN EXPLAIN, SIR.

I DON'T THINK THAT'S GOING TO BE NECESSARY.

THERE'S A AMBULANCE ON THE WAY, SIR.

OH. THERE BETTER BE ROOM FOR TWO.

I CAN'T DO THIS.Albert: SURE YOU CAN. THE HARD PART'S OVER.

HAND ME THE BAG, RABB.

NO, IT HURTS TOO MUCH.

I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT HARM. FOCUS ON HIS FACE. BREATHE WITH HER.

[ breathing ]

[ breathing ]

GOOD. OKAY. ON THIS NEXT CONTRACTION,

I WANT YOU TO PUSH AS HARD AS YOU CAN, OKAY?

PUSH! YOU CAN DO IT, HARRIET.

[ Harriet groans ]

Albert: GOOD ONE! THAT'S A GOOD ONE, HARRIET!

YEAH, THAT'S GREAT! OKAY? KEEP BREATHING.

HEY, HIS HEAD'S OUT. YOU WANT TO FEEL IT?

NO!OKAY!

NOW, THIS NEXT CONTRACTION'S REAL IMPORTANT, HARRIET, OKAY?

WE NEED TO GET HIS SHOULDERS ALL THE WAY OUT.

I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!

Rabb: YOU CAN DO IT, HARRIET. THIS IS IT.

IT HURTS TOO MUCH!

COME ON.

BREATHE. [ screams ]

Roberts: HARRIET?

BUD! OH, BUD!

BUD, HAND ME A TOWEL. GIVE ME YOUR SHOELACES.

UH, SIR?I NEED TO TIE OFF THE UMBILICAL CORD.

BREATHE, BREATHE.

GIVE ME A TOWEL.Rabb: BREATHE.

Albert: COME ON, COME ON, LIEUTENANT.

PUSH! THAT'S AN ORDER!

OW!

BUD, PUT A TOWEL ON MY SHOULDER.

PUT A TOWEL ON MY SHOULDER.

LEFT SHOULDER. LEFT.

COVER THE MEDALS.

[ screams ]

HERE WE GO. HERE WE GO.

OKAY, OKAY.

THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S GOOD.

[ baby crying ]OH, YEAH, BUDDY. THERE YOU GO.

TAKE THE STRING OUT OF MY MOUTH.

TIE IT RIGHT ABOVE MY FINGERS.

HERE YOU GO.

ALL RIGHT, CUT THE STRING.

GO UP SIX INCHES-- TIE IT AGAIN.

[ soft music playing ]

OKAY, NOW CUT. CUT IT RIGHT BETWEEN.

GOOD. NOW GET ANOTHER TOWEL.

GET ANOTHER TOWEL.

HERE YOU GO. PUT YOUR KNEES DOWN, DARLING.

CONGRATULATIONS, BUD AND HARRIET.

LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE A HEALTHY BABY BOY.

NICE WORK, LIEUTENANT.

YOU DID IT, HARRIET.

THANK YOU. THANK ALL OF YOU.

WE HAVE A SON.

I'M A DADDY.

[ chuckles ] WELCOME TO THE CLUB, LIEUTENANT.

TAKE IT EASY WITH HER. HERE WE GO.

CAREFUL WITH THEM.

THAT'S MY SON.

Man: ONE, TWO, THREE

QUITE A DAY, HUH, SIR?

YEP.

NEVER A DULL MOMENT AROUND THIS PLACE.

YOU OKAY?

EVERY TIME I THINK I'VE PUT THE PIECES OF MY LIFE TOGETHER,

SOMEBODY COMES ALONG AND JUMBLES THEM BACK UP.

EVERYBODY WHO'S EVER MEANT ANYTHING TO ME IS LEAVING MY LIFE.

YOU'LL BE OKAY, MAC. YOU'LL GET TO SEE CHLOE AGAIN.

ONE DAY, YOU'LL HAVE KIDS OF YOUR OWN.

YEAH? NOT AT THIS RATE.

MY BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS GOING OFF AND I KEEP HITTING THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

TELL YOU WHAT...

FIVE YEARS FROM THIS MOMENT,

IF NEITHER OF US IS IN A RELATIONSHIP,

WE'LL GO HALVES ON A KID.

YOU AND ME?

HAVE A BABY TOGETHER?

WITH YOUR LOOKS AND MY BRAINS,

HE'LL BE PERFECT.

AND WHAT IF SHE HAS YOUR LOOKS AND MY BRAINS?

THAT COULD WORK, TOO.

SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?

DEAL?DON'T MAKE A PROMISE YOU CAN'T KEEP.

I HAVEN'T YET.

[closing theme music plays]