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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:05,570
Look at you.
2
00:00:05,614 --> 00:00:08,008
Look at my baby! Mwah!
3
00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:09,835
Thanksgiving mornin'.
4
00:00:09,879 --> 00:00:11,794
All relaxed.
5
00:00:11,837 --> 00:00:14,840
Man, this potluck dinner
was a good idea.
6
00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:15,972
Mm-hmm.
7
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,234
You know, babe,
I love your cooking,
8
00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:20,281
but calm you
versus crazy, cussin',
9
00:00:20,324 --> 00:00:22,065
"I don't know how
I'mma get all this done
10
00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:23,675
"before all these
people come over," you...
11
00:00:23,719 --> 00:00:26,069
I don't know. It's like...
12
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:28,463
Food, or crazy!
13
00:00:28,506 --> 00:00:30,160
Or food, or crazy!
14
00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:32,032
Okay, Nick, stop it.
15
00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:33,424
It's not that bad.
16
00:00:33,468 --> 00:00:34,556
Yes, it is.
17
00:00:35,948 --> 00:00:38,255
And you are right.
It was a great idea.
18
00:00:38,299 --> 00:00:40,083
I'm so glad
that I thought of it.
19
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,824
I sent out my RSVPs.
20
00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:43,260
People told me
what they're bringing.
21
00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:45,262
I've got plates.
I've got drinks.
22
00:00:45,306 --> 00:00:47,308
I've got football on TV,
an open door.
23
00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:49,571
If people don't like
the food, it's not my fault,
24
00:00:49,614 --> 00:00:52,226
because all I'm responsible for
25
00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:53,662
is the turkey.
26
00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:56,839
What is he doing?
27
00:00:56,882 --> 00:01:00,016
Oh, um, he's shooting
a documentary
28
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,758
on Thanksgiving for his
Social Studies class.
29
00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:04,107
But why isn't he talking?
30
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:06,109
Because there is a God.
31
00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:08,590
Because he says that
real documentaries
32
00:01:08,633 --> 00:01:11,636
are about the subjects
and not the filmmaker.
33
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:13,812
Listen, all I know is,
34
00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:17,294
this is going to be a
perfect "4-F" Thanksgiving.
35
00:01:17,338 --> 00:01:18,382
Okay?
36
00:01:18,426 --> 00:01:21,081
Food, football, no Frank,
37
00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:23,735
and more football.
38
00:01:23,779 --> 00:01:25,868
All right, well, I guess
I better get started.
39
00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:27,261
Honey, can you grab the turkey
40
00:01:27,304 --> 00:01:29,132
out of the refrigerator
for me, please?
41
00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:30,873
Mm-hmm! SUZANNE: Thank you.
42
00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:32,396
Mmm-mmm-mmm!
43
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:38,489
Hey, babe, uh, are you sure
you put it in here?
44
00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:40,404
You don't see a giant
turkey in there?
45
00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:42,711
Is it disguised as
a big empty space?
46
00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:51,937
Oh, no.
47
00:01:51,981 --> 00:01:53,635
I forgot to get the turkey!
48
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,120
♪ Are we there yet?
49
00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:03,471
♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me
50
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,560
♪ Tell me, are we there yet?
51
00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:06,865
♪ Are we there yet?
52
00:02:08,954 --> 00:02:10,521
Baby,
53
00:02:10,565 --> 00:02:13,481
I'll be back in a few
with the turkey!
54
00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:14,743
Okay!
55
00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:20,488
Nick, Nick, Nick.
56
00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:22,490
It's been too long.
57
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:23,839
Yes, sir! Yes, sir.
58
00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:25,623
Hey, you treatin'
my baby girl right?
59
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:28,191
Because if you ain't, you
know I might have to hurt you.
60
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:29,410
Now I can hurt you.Uh-oh.
61
00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:30,846
Now I ain't gonna tell you
how I'mma do it.
62
00:02:30,889 --> 00:02:32,543
Oh! Whoa! But I can do it
if I have to!
63
00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:35,851
Oh, me and Suzanne are great.
64
00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:36,982
You better be.
65
00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:38,897
Hello, Nick.
66
00:02:38,941 --> 00:02:40,203
Oh, oh, wait.
67
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:42,945
She called me by my name!
We do get along!
68
00:02:42,988 --> 00:02:44,512
It was not that bad.
69
00:02:44,555 --> 00:02:46,340
Oh, my babies.
70
00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:48,385
Grandma! Look at you!
71
00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:49,908
Mmm. Uh...
72
00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:51,432
What is he doin'?
73
00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:54,217
He's filming a documentary
on Thanksgiving.
74
00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:55,349
Boy, speak to people.
75
00:02:55,392 --> 00:02:56,393
Hey.
76
00:02:57,002 --> 00:02:59,222
Ding dong.
77
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:02,356
So, you guys are staying
at Terrence's place, huh?
78
00:03:02,399 --> 00:03:04,836
Ooh, yes, and it's wonderful!
79
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,055
Hey, Uncle Terrence,
80
00:03:06,098 --> 00:03:07,491
how come we never
go to your apartment?
81
00:03:07,535 --> 00:03:10,364
Because it's a freaked-out
bachelor pad, all right?
82
00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:12,104
No place for kids.
83
00:03:12,148 --> 00:03:13,323
Where is that again?
84
00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:14,585
Come on, man, you know.
85
00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:16,500
Remember that place
I took you that time?
86
00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:17,632
In that building?
87
00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:19,329
With the bricks on it?
88
00:03:19,373 --> 00:03:22,245
And it is decorated beautifully.
89
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:24,595
What was the name
of that style, sweetheart?
90
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,771
Oh, yeah, that's, uh,
shabby chic, Mama.
91
00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:29,209
What, boochie? What was that?
92
00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:31,298
Shabby chic?
93
00:03:31,341 --> 00:03:34,083
Well, you've been watching
too much design channel.
94
00:03:34,126 --> 00:03:35,389
You was watchin' it with me.
95
00:03:35,432 --> 00:03:36,999
Yeah, we ain't talkin' about me.
96
00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:39,654
So, what's in the case?
97
00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:41,046
Oh...
98
00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:45,268
This is my
secret-recipe dressin'.
99
00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:47,270
Oh, that's great, boy.
100
00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:49,664
I love stuffin'.
101
00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:51,927
Did I say stuffin'?
102
00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:54,277
This is dressin'.
There's a difference.
103
00:03:54,321 --> 00:03:55,583
What's the difference?
104
00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,106
Boy,
105
00:03:57,149 --> 00:03:59,935
if I got to tell you,
you don't need to know.
106
00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:03,591
Maybe that's 'cause
you don't know.
107
00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:05,027
Oh, I know!
108
00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:07,247
Uh-uh, does Suzanne need
any help with the turkey?
109
00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:09,510
No! No, no, no, no.
It's all good.
110
00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:11,686
She's got it under control.
Everything's good.
111
00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:14,166
Hey, where's the TV? I'm
ready to watch some football.
112
00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:15,603
Oh, come on, Grandpa,
I'll show you.
113
00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:16,691
All right.
114
00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:17,996
I'm going to go say hello.
115
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:19,911
All right, well, look,
I'll be right back.
116
00:04:19,955 --> 00:04:22,479
Wait, wait, wait.
Where you going, milk dud?
117
00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:24,394
I'm going to get
somethin' from the store.
118
00:04:24,438 --> 00:04:26,266
Don't tell me you're
going to the grocery store.
119
00:04:27,092 --> 00:04:28,616
Are you crazy?
120
00:04:28,659 --> 00:04:31,009
Do you know how many
dummies it is out there
121
00:04:31,053 --> 00:04:33,534
that forgot they turkey
on Thanksgiving Day,
122
00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:37,233
and they at the store
cussin', fightin', and killin'?
123
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,104
You don't want to get
shot over no gizzard.
124
00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:40,715
I'll be all right.
125
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:43,326
All right. Hurry up back, man.
You gonna miss the game.
126
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:44,806
Put that stuffin' in the fridge.
127
00:04:49,854 --> 00:04:51,508
Gigi,
128
00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:53,031
what happened to you?
129
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:54,903
You're supposed to be in Aruba.
130
00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:56,818
That's what I thought, Suzanne!
131
00:04:56,861 --> 00:04:58,863
But I've been on
a plane for nine hours.
132
00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:01,605
We traveled exactly 200 feet!
133
00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:03,564
What? Two-hundred feet!
134
00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:06,436
There's some kind of weather
system going up the eastern seaboard.
135
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,090
So, we're at our gate, right?
136
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:10,440
We pull away from the gate
because some plane is landin',
137
00:05:10,484 --> 00:05:12,442
and then we couldn't take off!
138
00:05:12,486 --> 00:05:15,053
They're tellin' us every 20 minutes
it's going to be another 40 minutes,
139
00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:16,533
showin' us some movies,
140
00:05:16,577 --> 00:05:18,230
and feedin' us some sandwiches.
141
00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:19,971
And then everybody
pretty much fell asleep.
142
00:05:20,015 --> 00:05:21,277
Then, about 4:00 in the mornin',
143
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,496
everybody wakin' up and notice,
144
00:05:22,539 --> 00:05:23,845
we still on the ground!
145
00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:25,237
Everybody about lost it!
146
00:05:25,281 --> 00:05:26,369
And by everybody, I mean me!
147
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,719
And I got tackled
by an air marshal!
148
00:05:28,763 --> 00:05:30,982
Tackled! And you know
I kicked his...
149
00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:32,854
The kids.
150
00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:34,029
Sorry.Okay.
151
00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:35,683
I'm hurtin'.I know.
152
00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:37,162
So, no Aruba. No Aruba.
153
00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,599
Okay.
154
00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:41,079
And since I'm probably on
the federal watch list now,
155
00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:43,691
and I can't fly anywhere,
I was hopin'...
156
00:05:43,734 --> 00:05:46,476
That maybe, you know,
I could come here.
157
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,956
Of course you can. Thank you.
158
00:05:47,999 --> 00:05:50,698
You know you are
always welcome. Thank you.
159
00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:52,917
Anyway, it's really
good to see you, because...
160
00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:55,224
I'm a little freaked out.
161
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:57,400
Why? I forgot to buy the turkey.
162
00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:58,575
You forgot to buy the turkey!
163
00:06:00,272 --> 00:06:02,187
You forgot
to buy the turkey? Yes.
164
00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:04,015
That's like forgetting to buy the
Christmas tree on Christmas, Suzanne.
165
00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:06,235
That's like forgetting to buy the
Easter eggs on Easter, Suzanne.
166
00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:08,324
That's like forgetting to
buy the flags on Flag Day!
167
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,412
Gigi! What?
168
00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:11,675
I get it, okay?
I get it, I get it.
169
00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:13,503
Nick is out looking
for one right now.
170
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:16,288
Looking for a turkey
on Thanksgiving?
171
00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:17,986
That's like buying a
Christmas tree on Christmas.
172
00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:19,117
That's like
buying a flag... Gigi!
173
00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:21,859
What? I'm sorry,
I'm just hungry.
174
00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:25,385
How's things at work?
175
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:27,648
Good.
176
00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:30,564
How you and mama doing?
177
00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:32,304
Good.
178
00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:34,306
That's good.
179
00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:37,309
Still on that Facebook?
180
00:06:37,353 --> 00:06:38,615
No.
181
00:06:39,007 --> 00:06:40,008
Good.
182
00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:42,967
I heard the game was coming on.
183
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,013
That's good.
184
00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:46,275
Supposed to be a good one.
185
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:49,321
That's good.
186
00:06:54,065 --> 00:06:55,980
Hello. Hey! Happy Thanksgiving.
187
00:06:56,024 --> 00:06:58,069
Come in, happy Thanksgiving.
188
00:06:58,113 --> 00:07:00,071
Now, you must be Martin.
189
00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:01,812
And you must be the lovely Pam.
190
00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:03,597
Pam, this is my mother Erin.
191
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,468
Um, mom, this is
Suzanne's mother.
192
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,862
Oh, my, you are beautiful.
193
00:07:07,905 --> 00:07:09,124
Thank you.Uh...
194
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:11,692
Now, are you the mean one
or the nice one?
195
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:13,520
Shh. I think I'm the nice one.
196
00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:15,565
Oh, I hope so.
197
00:07:15,609 --> 00:07:17,132
Hey, you want a brew?
198
00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:19,090
Nah, I'm good.
199
00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:20,527
Good.
200
00:07:23,051 --> 00:07:25,749
Whoa! It almost time
for that turkey ready, huh?
201
00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:27,098
We be ready to eat in a few!
202
00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:30,014
Don't worry,
Daddy, it'll be ready.
203
00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:31,668
Okay.
204
00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:32,843
Hey! Hey!
205
00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:34,802
Hey!
206
00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:37,108
Oh! Happy Thanksgiving!
207
00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:38,893
Thank you for inviting me.
208
00:07:38,936 --> 00:07:40,285
I know it was last minute,
209
00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:43,637
but I did manage to whip up
my famous beet salad.
210
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:46,378
Mmm, beet salad.
211
00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:47,510
And, not to be outdone,
212
00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:49,207
I have brought my world-famous
213
00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:51,514
store-bought
brown-and-serve dinner rolls.
214
00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:52,863
Eh... Oh, bread girl.
215
00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:53,908
Yes, funny.
216
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:57,868
Hey! Junior, Senior.
217
00:07:57,912 --> 00:08:01,306
Happy Thanksgiving! Happy Thanksgiving!
218
00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:02,525
That's the mean one.Ah.
219
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:04,135
Oh, please. Okay, Erin,
220
00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:05,702
you are a fan
of football, right?
221
00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:07,399
You know I am.
222
00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:08,705
All right, let's go
watch the game! Let's go watch the game.
223
00:08:08,749 --> 00:08:10,228
Martin, get the cheese!
224
00:08:11,229 --> 00:08:12,535
Thank you.
225
00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:16,931
Suzanne, I am so sorry
I'm so late.
226
00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:19,063
I had to stop
and get a few ingredients.
227
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:20,761
Uh, are you done with the oven?
228
00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:23,981
Actually, when Suzanne
is done, I need to use it.
229
00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:26,549
Hello, Pam. Hello, Marilyn.
230
00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,812
Look, when you get done,
would you let me know?
231
00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:31,423
'Cause I need to whip up
my mac and cheese.
232
00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:33,338
Mac and cheese?
233
00:08:33,382 --> 00:08:34,688
Yes, it doesn't travel well,
234
00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:37,168
so I want to make it fresh
for maximum impact.
235
00:08:37,212 --> 00:08:39,693
Well, I am making
mac and cheese.
236
00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:41,608
I mean, it's
Terrence's favorite.
237
00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:43,827
That's because
he hasn't tasted mine.
238
00:08:43,871 --> 00:08:46,221
See, ladies, ladies,
239
00:08:46,264 --> 00:08:50,617
you can never have
enough macaroni and cheese,
240
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:51,966
especially today.
241
00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:53,358
So, how about
242
00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:55,752
you both make the
macaroni and cheese, okay?
243
00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:58,407
Problem solved, yay!
244
00:08:58,450 --> 00:08:59,539
I need a drink.
245
00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:01,497
So do I.
246
00:09:05,936 --> 00:09:08,112
Nick, Nick, boy, you're
missing a great game.
247
00:09:08,156 --> 00:09:10,375
Oh, a great game, huh?
248
00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:12,595
Uh, I'll bet it's a great game.
249
00:09:12,639 --> 00:09:14,292
Ooh-whee, that's a game.
250
00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:15,729
Okay, so did you get it?
251
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:17,513
Not quite.
252
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:19,907
Cornish hen?
253
00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:22,126
Nick, what am I
supposed to do with those?
254
00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:25,521
Well, every place was
out of turkeys, all right!
255
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:26,870
So, I thought this could work.
256
00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:28,698
I mean, everyone gets one.
257
00:09:28,742 --> 00:09:31,483
Think of it as the Thanksgiving
version of the personal pan pizza.
258
00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:33,877
Tsk. Nick, we need a turkey!
259
00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:35,183
Mmm. Wait a minute.
260
00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:37,881
You forgot the turkey?
261
00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:43,974
Okay! Okay!
262
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:46,629
I might as well
just tell everybody.
263
00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,849
I forgot the turkey, okay?
264
00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:50,459
What?
265
00:09:50,502 --> 00:09:54,724
I'm sorry, okay!
I'm working on it!
266
00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:57,248
It's all right, sweetheart,
it's no big deal.
267
00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:58,554
Yes, it is.
268
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,991
Wait a minute. Stop the presses.
269
00:10:01,731 --> 00:10:03,211
Did I hear this right?
270
00:10:03,254 --> 00:10:04,647
We don't have no turkey?
271
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:05,866
Oh.
272
00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:07,519
Now listen, boochie,
you just go back
273
00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:09,043
and you look at the game.
274
00:10:09,086 --> 00:10:11,567
Now, between the Cornish
hen, and my mac and cheese,
275
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,221
we'll be just fine.
276
00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:15,832
No, Mama, we can't have no
Thanksgiving without no turkey.
277
00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:18,705
What you going to do
about it, boochie, huh?
278
00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:20,489
Go to a farm and kidnap one?
279
00:10:20,532 --> 00:10:22,839
Look, do you want to go
get a turkey?
280
00:10:22,883 --> 00:10:24,232
Or you want to be the turkey?
281
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,017
Now let's go, milk dud!
282
00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:33,981
Honey, I wanted to talk
to you about something.
283
00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:35,460
Could we sit down for a minute?
284
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:37,506
Look, Mom, if it's about
the green bean casserole,
285
00:10:37,549 --> 00:10:39,943
don't worry about it, I-I know
you didn't have time to cook.
286
00:10:39,987 --> 00:10:42,642
No, no, it's not about
the green bean casserole.
287
00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:44,644
Martin...
288
00:10:45,383 --> 00:10:46,384
I'm gay.
289
00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:48,212
Wha...
290
00:10:48,256 --> 00:10:49,953
Gay? What do you mean, gay?
291
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:52,695
You mean like gay, gay?
292
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:56,656
Martin, I've been living
with a woman for ten years.
293
00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:58,788
Who? Who? Gayle!
294
00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:01,182
Gayle? Gayle's not gay!
295
00:11:01,225 --> 00:11:02,836
You guys are best friends.
You're roommates.
296
00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:06,317
You're like peas in a pod,
like Laverne and Shirley!
297
00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:09,799
Well, first of all, Laverne
and Shirley were not gay.
298
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:12,715
Second of all,
yes, Gayle is gay,
299
00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,674
and honey, so am I.
300
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:16,632
Since when?
301
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,112
I can't understand why you can't
302
00:11:18,155 --> 00:11:20,027
wrap your head around this.
303
00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:21,985
The reason your father
and I broke up
304
00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:24,684
was because I'm gay.
305
00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:29,558
I-I live with a woman
because I'm gay.
306
00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:32,300
I go on all
the Rosie O'Donnell cruises.
307
00:11:32,343 --> 00:11:33,823
And?
308
00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:35,607
I go to the Lilith Fair!
309
00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:36,957
So?
310
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,961
Martin, I have season
tickets for the WNBA!
311
00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:42,397
Dear God, it's true.
312
00:11:48,011 --> 00:11:49,056
Hmm.
313
00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:51,536
So, you use box cheese.
314
00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:54,365
Don't worry about what I use.
315
00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:56,803
Lindsey, less textin',
more gratin'!
316
00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:57,934
Put your wrist into it.
317
00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:01,068
Well, if you don't mind,
318
00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:04,245
I need her to stir, so my
sauce doesn't get lumpy.
319
00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:09,598
She wasn't finished
gratin' my cheese.
320
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:12,775
Well, you are about
to start gratin' my nerves.
321
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:14,951
Okay, hold up, hold up.
322
00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:16,170
One at a time.
323
00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:17,562
First I'll grate some cheese,
324
00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:19,651
then I'll stir the sauce.
I got this.
325
00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,176
She gratin' my cheese first.
326
00:12:23,699 --> 00:12:25,266
Blood is thicker than water.
327
00:12:25,309 --> 00:12:27,050
That's what you think.
328
00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:31,315
Now, that was a great hit.
329
00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:33,970
Are you kidding? That
was an illegal head butt.
330
00:12:34,014 --> 00:12:35,972
Ah, Palmer always plays dirty.
331
00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:38,670
No, that was a good hit. Just
because Palmer plays like a girl...
332
00:12:38,714 --> 00:12:41,412
He does not play like a girl.
333
00:12:41,456 --> 00:12:43,023
He's a punk.
334
00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:45,155
I know plenty of girls who
play a lot harder than that.
335
00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:47,375
Yeah, what kind
of girls are those?
336
00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:48,419
Gay ones.
337
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,554
My mother is gay.
338
00:12:52,597 --> 00:12:54,774
Martin, when did you find out?
339
00:12:54,817 --> 00:12:56,427
What do you mean
when did I find out?
340
00:12:56,471 --> 00:12:57,515
You knew?
341
00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,909
Oh, honey, everybody knew.
342
00:12:59,953 --> 00:13:01,606
Wait a second,
are you saying that
343
00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:04,348
everybody here knew that my
mother was gay, and no one told me?
344
00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:06,176
Yes!
345
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:08,788
All right, then, so you
must know Ellen, right?
346
00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:09,963
What's she like?
347
00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:11,921
No, I-I don't know Ellen.
348
00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:14,141
All gay people
don't know each other.
349
00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:15,882
Hmm.
350
00:13:15,925 --> 00:13:18,232
Hey, hey! Did y'all know
that she was gay?
351
00:13:18,275 --> 00:13:19,842
Yeah, we knew that. We knew she was gay.
352
00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:21,844
So, did you get it?
353
00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:23,585
Do it look like we got it?
354
00:13:23,628 --> 00:13:25,239
Well, listen,
don't get mad at me.
355
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:26,544
Your sister's
the one who forgot.
356
00:13:26,588 --> 00:13:28,285
I'm just trying
to be supportive.
357
00:13:28,329 --> 00:13:32,028
Well, be supportive by not
asking so many stupid questions.
358
00:13:32,072 --> 00:13:33,813
I don't know,
that's asking a lot of Gigi.
359
00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:35,858
You know what, shut up.
360
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:38,905
Hey, speaking of stupid
questions, I got to know.
361
00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:40,820
What's up with Chaz Bono?
362
00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:44,693
I know where you
can find a turkey.
363
00:13:44,736 --> 00:13:46,826
Oh, now you got
somethin' to say?
364
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,653
Well, I was trying to stay
focused on my film
365
00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:49,916
and remain out of the story,
366
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:51,526
but you guys didn't
leave me much choice.
367
00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:53,702
Boy, how can we get a turkey?
368
00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:55,878
I found it online.
369
00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:57,749
I typed in, "Where to find
a turkey on Thanksgiving?"
370
00:13:57,793 --> 00:13:59,186
This guy popped up.
371
00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:00,535
He's a turkey broker.
372
00:14:00,578 --> 00:14:02,406
A turkey broker?
373
00:14:02,450 --> 00:14:04,582
Yeah, he's on Craigsleest.
374
00:14:04,626 --> 00:14:06,976
But why are you saying it
with a Spanish accent?
375
00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:08,891
I-I'm not. That's the website.
376
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:11,285
Craigsleest. L-E-E-S-T.
377
00:14:11,328 --> 00:14:13,461
What kind of bootleg
website is that?
378
00:14:13,504 --> 00:14:14,897
Man, send me the link.
379
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:15,985
Okay.
380
00:14:16,029 --> 00:14:17,291
Are you going to buy a turkey
381
00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:18,988
from a crazy man
on the internet?
382
00:14:19,032 --> 00:14:20,511
Well, it's either that,
383
00:14:20,555 --> 00:14:22,339
or we need to start cooking
up these Cornish hens.
384
00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:23,950
Ugh! Ugh!
385
00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:31,087
Yay!
386
00:14:40,357 --> 00:14:41,358
Who dat?
387
00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:43,360
Uh...
388
00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:45,841
Yeah, we saw your
ad on the internet.
389
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,930
Uh, we're here to get a turkey?
390
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,366
You a cop?
391
00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:50,585
Is your mama a cop?
392
00:14:50,628 --> 00:14:51,978
Is your daddy a cop?
393
00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:53,283
Man, don't be talking
about my daddy.
394
00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:55,372
Hey, hey, calm down, boy.
395
00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:57,548
Whoa, okay, look, we're
just here to get a turkey.
396
00:14:58,288 --> 00:15:00,160
Password.
397
00:15:00,203 --> 00:15:03,380
Password? Man, you put
an ad on the internet, bruh.
398
00:15:03,424 --> 00:15:06,296
There was a password
at the bottom.
399
00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:08,429
Come on, man, what's
your little password, huh?
400
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:09,604
Gobble, gobble?
401
00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:12,259
Come on in.
402
00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:14,870
That was it?
403
00:15:20,528 --> 00:15:21,703
Happy Thanksgiving.
404
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:24,184
Happy Thanksgiving.
405
00:15:24,227 --> 00:15:26,795
So, I hear you guys
are in need of some product.
406
00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:29,319
Yeah, well, see, my wife was
supposed to get the turkey, and then she...
407
00:15:29,363 --> 00:15:31,887
This look like
Judge Joe Brownto you?
408
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,194
Do I need to hear your story?
409
00:15:34,237 --> 00:15:36,587
I asked you a question.
You speak English, right?
410
00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:37,849
Usted habla ingles?
411
00:15:40,156 --> 00:15:42,028
Oh, y'all think
y'all funny, huh?
412
00:15:42,071 --> 00:15:45,118
You think you know a little
Spanish, said a little something?
413
00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:47,468
Tu no eres chistoso.
414
00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:49,557
¿De verdad?
415
00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:51,733
Claro.
416
00:15:51,776 --> 00:15:54,344
Wait, what is this, Telemundo,
or are y'all selling turkey?
417
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:55,867
Man, I do not
have time for this.
418
00:15:55,911 --> 00:15:58,000
I got people at the house,
bruh. Let's make this happen.
419
00:15:58,044 --> 00:15:59,697
Oh, you in a hurry?
Why you in a rush?
420
00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:02,178
I just said I have
people at the house.
421
00:16:02,222 --> 00:16:04,876
Did I ask you all that?
Have a seat.
422
00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:11,492
You testifying like you in
front the senate sub-committee.
423
00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:13,102
That's what you do? You testify?
424
00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:16,758
You nervous, man?
What's wrong with you
425
00:16:17,889 --> 00:16:19,195
You wanna be on C-SPAN?
426
00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:21,937
Huh? No, no,
I-I just want a turkey.
427
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,417
You said that, man.
Why you saying it again?
428
00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:24,766
You making me nervous,
man. Yo, this a sting?
429
00:16:25,636 --> 00:16:26,811
Uh, n-no.
430
00:16:26,855 --> 00:16:28,378
Wait, whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
431
00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:30,598
Hold up, hold up, hold up.
432
00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:31,903
Pull them triggers,
433
00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:34,123
and we all go boom.
434
00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:36,734
Now, which one of you
monkeys want to jump?
435
00:16:36,778 --> 00:16:39,563
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
436
00:16:39,607 --> 00:16:41,609
Okay? Listen.
437
00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:43,828
All right?
What's your name, bruh?
438
00:16:43,872 --> 00:16:45,352
Why you asking me my name?
439
00:16:45,395 --> 00:16:47,093
You want to tell
somebody my name?
440
00:16:47,136 --> 00:16:49,182
No, no, look. Uh...
441
00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:51,401
Hey, man, look, check this out.
442
00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:53,012
My name is Nick, okay?
443
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:54,883
Nick Kingston-Persons,
all right?
444
00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:57,059
I'm a TV sports
commentator, all right.
445
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,800
For KAWT.
446
00:16:58,843 --> 00:17:00,845
Oh, I know who you are.
Oh, wait a minute.
447
00:17:00,889 --> 00:17:02,717
You, um, work with
that Asian dame.
448
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:03,805
Jennifer Ming.
449
00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:05,198
Buzz, that's your girl.
450
00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:07,200
Yeah, I like me
some Jennifer Ming.
451
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:12,074
Okay, listen, all right.
452
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:14,033
Now that you know my name,
453
00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:17,471
I need to know your name, so I
can call you that out of respect, bruh.
454
00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:20,343
It's Arlo.
455
00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:22,128
Arlo? ARLO: Mm-hmm.
456
00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:23,433
What kind of name
is that for a...
457
00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:25,218
Hey, hey, man!
458
00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:27,437
Listen, Arlo is a nice name.
459
00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:29,091
It's a nice name, bruh.
460
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:31,354
Okay, now, Arlo,
461
00:17:31,398 --> 00:17:34,705
listen, nobody wants
to get blown up.
462
00:17:34,749 --> 00:17:37,317
Nobody wants
to get shot, all right.
463
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:39,406
Nobody wants to testify.
464
00:17:39,449 --> 00:17:42,017
Nobody wants to be
on C-SPAN, bruh.
465
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,411
You keep telling me
what you don't want.
466
00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:45,673
What do you want?
467
00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:47,849
A damn turkey, fool!
468
00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:49,938
What's wrong with you,
man? You got ADD?
469
00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:51,548
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.
470
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:54,116
Listen, listen,
listen, Arlo, Arlo,
471
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,423
right here, Arlo,
right here, man.
472
00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:58,207
We just want a turkey,
that's all.
473
00:17:58,251 --> 00:17:59,426
Frozen, thawed, or cooked?
474
00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:01,558
I'm not sure.
475
00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:03,212
And seeing as you have all
these people in your house,
476
00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:05,345
and your wife is waiting,
477
00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:07,303
if it were me, I'd go
with thawed or cooked.
478
00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,176
A turkey takes a day to defrost,
479
00:18:10,219 --> 00:18:11,568
four hours to cook,
480
00:18:11,612 --> 00:18:14,702
and 30 minutes to
settle before it's carved.
481
00:18:14,745 --> 00:18:16,356
Now you can get it frozen,
but if you do,
482
00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:18,793
that means you'll be
eating your turkey tomorrow.
483
00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:20,577
And look, you have
people at your house,
484
00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:22,449
not mine.
485
00:18:23,754 --> 00:18:26,409
Uh, I-I'll take
the cooked turkey.
486
00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:27,976
Buzz, get them a 20.
487
00:18:31,893 --> 00:18:32,937
You got a scale?
488
00:18:33,982 --> 00:18:35,723
Yup. Hand it here.
489
00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:38,508
Ah, okay.
490
00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:43,078
That's about
19 pounds, seven ounces.
491
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,775
Three bills.
Buzz, swipe them up.
492
00:18:44,819 --> 00:18:47,169
$300 for a damn turkey?
493
00:18:47,213 --> 00:18:49,345
Look, this is delicious,
494
00:18:49,389 --> 00:18:51,695
juicy, cooked turkey,
495
00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:54,959
on Thanksgiving,
so yeah, trescientos.
496
00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:56,918
All right? And if you can find
it somewhere else for cheaper,
497
00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,746
then go get it and
bring one back for me.
498
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:00,226
Buy the bird.
499
00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:02,445
Got a credit card?
500
00:19:08,973 --> 00:19:10,149
Cock-a-doodle-doo, y'all.
501
00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:12,847
Thanksgiving is back on!
502
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,245
I did it. I did it.
503
00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:20,855
Uh! Bam!
504
00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:23,205
Oh, honey, honey,
505
00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:25,251
thank you, thank you,
I love you.
506
00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:26,774
You saved Thanksgiving.
507
00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:29,777
Wait a minute.
We saved Thanksgiving.
508
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:32,606
You know, you boys
missed two great games.
509
00:19:32,649 --> 00:19:34,477
Each of them,
came down to the wire.
510
00:19:34,521 --> 00:19:35,783
Of course, they did.
511
00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:37,872
Okay, boy, can you
turn that camera off
512
00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:39,352
so we can eat?
513
00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:40,614
Happy Thanksgiving!
514
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:42,746
Mmm.
515
00:19:42,790 --> 00:19:45,227
Grandma, your macaroni
and cheese is delicious
516
00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:46,576
Thank you.
517
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:47,664
What about mine?
518
00:19:50,928 --> 00:19:54,410
Mmm! Yours is really good too.
519
00:19:54,454 --> 00:19:56,238
Let me taste that.
520
00:19:59,894 --> 00:20:01,417
Mmm!
521
00:20:01,461 --> 00:20:03,767
This is good!
522
00:20:03,811 --> 00:20:06,596
Before we all get started,
I just want to say one thing.
523
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,033
This has been the best
Thanksgiving ever.
524
00:20:09,077 --> 00:20:10,470
I got to see my baby girl.
525
00:20:10,513 --> 00:20:12,907
My grandchildren
are all grown up.
526
00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:14,125
I got to meet a gay lady.
527
00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:16,867
But the best part of it has been
528
00:20:16,911 --> 00:20:18,304
spending time with you, Junior.
529
00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:19,392
Aww.
530
00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:21,220
Well, you two barely talked.
531
00:20:21,263 --> 00:20:24,266
Spent all afternoon grunting
one-word answers at each other.
532
00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:26,660
What you talking about?
We've been talking all day.
533
00:20:26,703 --> 00:20:29,489
Yeah, I mean, we talked about
the game. We talked about his job.
534
00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:32,274
Yeah, he told me he's
not on Facebook as much.
535
00:20:32,318 --> 00:20:34,363
And the fact that
y'all getting along fine.
536
00:20:34,842 --> 00:20:36,365
Aww.
537
00:20:36,409 --> 00:20:37,758
It's been good.
538
00:20:37,801 --> 00:20:38,976
G-O-double-D.
539
00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:43,764
I just want to know
one thing, all right.
540
00:20:43,807 --> 00:20:46,245
Can somebody
tell me the difference
541
00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:48,421
between dressin' and stuffin'?
542
00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:49,683
I can.
543
00:20:49,726 --> 00:20:51,511
If it's outside the turkey,
it's dressin'.
544
00:20:51,554 --> 00:20:52,903
If it's inside, it's stuffin'.
545
00:20:52,947 --> 00:20:54,775
Oh! That boy is a genius.
546
00:20:54,818 --> 00:20:56,994
My grandson is smart.
547
00:20:57,038 --> 00:20:58,605
That ain't it. That ain't it.
37920
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