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1
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:08,269
Okay, guys, we're gonna
record one of Harold's segments,
2
00:00:08,312 --> 00:00:09,792
then we're coming
straight back to you.
3
00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:11,707
Oh, boy.
4
00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:14,014
Another Harold Bradley segment.
5
00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:16,146
Here we go.
6
00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:17,452
I think he's sweet.
7
00:00:17,495 --> 00:00:19,628
Well, sweet and boring.
8
00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:21,282
Look, I hope you took a nap,
9
00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:23,414
because if you didn't,
you're about to.
10
00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:25,590
His rants are longer
than that movie Inception,
11
00:00:25,634 --> 00:00:27,288
and more confusing.
12
00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:30,421
Okay. Five, four,
13
00:00:30,465 --> 00:00:31,857
three, two...
14
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:35,426
I'm Harold Bradley,
15
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:37,689
and the way I see it,
16
00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:40,214
there's too many
kinds of apples.
17
00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:42,564
Every time we look up,
they've got another.
18
00:00:42,607 --> 00:00:45,436
There's Granny Smith, and Fuji,
19
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:49,092
and Braeburn, Gala,
Red Delicious.
20
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:50,311
Apples?
21
00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:53,270
Is that what he's
worried about? Apples?
22
00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:57,057
Look, last week it was, "Who
wears sneakers with suits?"
23
00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:59,885
His commentaries are so dull,
24
00:00:59,929 --> 00:01:01,278
they couldn't cut warm butter.
25
00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:03,585
They're so boring, they
wouldn't play them on C-SPAN.
26
00:01:04,847 --> 00:01:07,110
Are you serious? Apples?
27
00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:10,113
Jonagold, Pippin, Rome Beauty.
28
00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:13,116
They even have
an Arkansas Black apple.
29
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,162
Hmm, wouldn't you
think a black apple
30
00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:17,033
would be from
Atlanta or Detroit?
31
00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:22,908
Now, when I was a boy,
we had two types of apples,
32
00:01:22,952 --> 00:01:24,780
one with worms and one without.
33
00:01:25,607 --> 00:01:27,565
When Harold Bradley was a boy,
34
00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:29,393
apples were forbidden.
35
00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:32,875
His mama was like, "Adam,
let that boy have an apple."
36
00:01:32,918 --> 00:01:34,050
All I'm saying is,
37
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:37,619
if we have over
7,000 kinds of apples,
38
00:01:37,662 --> 00:01:40,926
we should have more
than one kind of apple pie.
39
00:01:41,753 --> 00:01:43,668
I'm Harold Bradley,
40
00:01:43,712 --> 00:01:45,496
and that's the way I see it.
41
00:01:48,891 --> 00:01:52,329
Huh? Huh? What? What?
Is it over? Huh?
42
00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:55,463
♪ Are we there yet?
43
00:01:55,506 --> 00:01:58,814
♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me
44
00:01:58,857 --> 00:02:00,685
♪ Tell me, are we there yet?
45
00:02:00,729 --> 00:02:02,513
♪ Are we there yet?
46
00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:04,167
Look, I hope you took a nap,
47
00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:05,821
because if you're didn't,
you're about to.
48
00:02:07,475 --> 00:02:09,172
Rants are longer than
that movielnception...
49
00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:10,956
Hey, guys. What's up?
50
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,133
Oh, man. Dad, you're hilarious.
51
00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:14,438
Like, all my friends' parents
52
00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,179
are totally talking about you.
53
00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:17,398
What did I do?
54
00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:19,574
Nick, you don't know about this?
55
00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:22,142
When Harold Bradley was a
boy, apples were forbidden.
56
00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:24,056
Is that me? Yes.
57
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:27,843
Somebody leaked a recording of
you talking about Harold Bradley.
58
00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:30,237
His commentaries are so dull,
59
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,369
they couldn't cut warm better.
60
00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:35,416
They're so boring, they wouldn't
play them on C-SPAN. Apples?
61
00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:36,460
Boy, turn that off.
62
00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:39,246
Babe, what were you thinking?
63
00:02:39,289 --> 00:02:41,378
I wasn't thinking
somebody was recording me.
64
00:02:41,422 --> 00:02:43,946
Hey, look. A remix.
65
00:02:43,989 --> 00:02:45,556
What?
66
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,732
Yeah, somebody took your
rant, and his rant, and remixed it.
67
00:02:47,776 --> 00:02:49,430
♪ The way I see it...
68
00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:51,519
♪ I hope you took a nap
Took a nap, took a nap
69
00:02:51,562 --> 00:02:53,347
♪ Because if you didn't
You're about to
70
00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:55,262
♪ There's too many
kinds of apples... ♪
71
00:02:55,305 --> 00:02:57,612
Okay, okay, Kevin,
that's enough.
72
00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:59,091
Hey, Kevin, can you
send that to me?
73
00:02:59,135 --> 00:03:00,571
I wanna use it as my ringtone.
74
00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:02,225
No, he cannot send it to you
75
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:03,792
so you can use it
as your ringtone.
76
00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:05,533
This is not good.
77
00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:07,099
Nobody was supposed
to hear that.
78
00:03:07,143 --> 00:03:08,579
I can't believe they leaked it.
79
00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:10,277
I can.
80
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:11,713
They did it to Joe Biden.
Why wouldn't they do it to you?
81
00:03:11,756 --> 00:03:13,323
Anybody ask you, punk?
82
00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:22,506
Where's your father?
83
00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:24,943
He already left for work. What's wrong?
84
00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:27,468
I need to get on Facebook.
85
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:29,209
Everybody and their brother
keeps telling me
86
00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:31,776
about this clip of him
talking about Harold Bradley.
87
00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:33,256
They keep asking me,
"Why would he do that?"
88
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,518
I don't even know what he did.
89
00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:36,303
We can help you. Yeah, it's really easy.
90
00:03:36,346 --> 00:03:37,956
I can't believe you
don't have your own page.
91
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,131
Why would I?
92
00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:40,481
So you can talk to people.
93
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:41,960
I already talk to people.
94
00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:43,701
But this way, you can
actually talk to people
95
00:03:43,745 --> 00:03:45,877
without actually
having to talk to them.
96
00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:47,488
I am not getting
the point of this.
97
00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:48,750
It's just really cool.
98
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:50,708
You can post photos, videos.
99
00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:52,362
You can write
on somebody's wall.
100
00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:54,712
Wait, write on somebody's wall?
101
00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:57,280
So, now I got to get online
to write on somebody's wall?
102
00:03:57,324 --> 00:04:00,544
It's not an actual
wall. It's virtual.
103
00:04:00,588 --> 00:04:02,285
Okay, let me get this straight.
104
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:04,853
I got to get online
to write on a fake wall,
105
00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:08,204
watch videos, and not talk
to people. And that's cool?
106
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,249
Yeah.
107
00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:11,729
All I want to know is,
108
00:04:11,773 --> 00:04:13,296
when did the world get hit
in the head with a hammer?
109
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,689
Well, come on, let's go.
110
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,564
Harold, uh,
111
00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:23,219
can I talk to you for a second?
112
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,047
Well, shall I turn around?
113
00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:28,224
I know how you enjoy talking
about me behind my back.
114
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:32,054
Come on, Harold.
It's not like that.
115
00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:33,621
It's not?
116
00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:35,884
Well, then if I were you,
117
00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:37,538
I would start talking
118
00:04:37,581 --> 00:04:40,105
because I might say something
more and put you to sleep.
119
00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:46,111
Look, man, I am really sorry.
120
00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:48,592
I never should have said
the things that I said.
121
00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:50,028
I mean...
122
00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:52,727
And however you want
to handle it is cool with me.
123
00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:54,381
I'll apologize on air.
124
00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:56,644
You could even do
a segment about me.
125
00:04:56,687 --> 00:05:01,257
Oh, I'm not going to be doing
anymore segments, Nick. It's over.
126
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:05,957
Nick, I've been doing The
Way I See It for 45 years,
127
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:10,005
and in all that time,
the world has changed.
128
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:12,703
You know, people used to care
what a guy like me thought.
129
00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:14,270
I was clever.
130
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:18,100
Now, every idiot with a podcast
thinks he can do what I do.
131
00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:19,841
And you know the sad part?
132
00:05:19,884 --> 00:05:21,538
They can.
133
00:05:21,582 --> 00:05:24,846
What the hell is the difference
between me and Perez Hilton?
134
00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:28,893
I'll tell you. I don't wear
pink and I'm past my prime.
135
00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:32,288
And that's the way I see it.
136
00:05:33,071 --> 00:05:34,116
I'm done, Nick.
137
00:05:35,204 --> 00:05:37,728
Well, take care of yourself.
138
00:05:37,772 --> 00:05:40,383
Steer clear of those open mics.
139
00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:42,733
But why would
somebody leak that?
140
00:05:42,777 --> 00:05:44,909
Why not? They did it
to Lily Tomlin.
141
00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:53,222
Oh!
142
00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:55,137
Ladies and gentlemen,
143
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:58,488
the champion of
Geezer SmackDown 2012,
144
00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:00,272
Nick Kingston-Persons.
145
00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:04,668
Okay, okay.
146
00:06:04,712 --> 00:06:06,409
I take it you've all
heard the clip.
147
00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:07,497
Oh, yes.
148
00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:09,194
Heard it? It's my new ringtone.
149
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:11,458
Nick, I'm not saying
you're cold-blooded,
150
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:12,850
but you stomped Howard Bradley
151
00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:14,417
like he kidnapped
your kids, man.
152
00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:17,681
Man, you smacked him down
like a volleyball. Pow!
153
00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:19,553
Dude, what were you thinking?
154
00:06:19,596 --> 00:06:21,598
Why does everybody
keep asking me that?
155
00:06:21,642 --> 00:06:24,340
Because what you did was stupid.
156
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,038
You're a young guy.
He's an old guy.
157
00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:29,040
Didn't you learn
from that Brick character?
158
00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:31,042
Leave these old guys alone.
159
00:06:31,086 --> 00:06:33,175
Honestly, dude,
you'd be better off
160
00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:34,829
picking a fight
with Dakota Fanning.
161
00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:37,701
I did not pick a fight,
all right?
162
00:06:37,745 --> 00:06:39,399
I don't even know
why they would leak that.
163
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:40,704
I do.
164
00:06:40,748 --> 00:06:42,184
They did it to Jesse Jackson.
165
00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:43,403
Why wouldn't they do it to you?
166
00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:45,100
Thank you. I got to tell you,
167
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:47,537
the way you went at that dude,
168
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:49,452
it was right up there
with Christian Bale.
169
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:51,541
Oh, yeah. It was not that bad.
170
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:53,717
Yes.True. Yours was funnier.
171
00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:56,416
You know, I would not
want to be in your place
172
00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:58,113
once the other
old people find out.
173
00:06:58,156 --> 00:07:00,289
It's not a big deal, all right?
174
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:02,334
It's just floating around
online somewhere.
175
00:07:02,378 --> 00:07:03,858
Nobody cares about me.
176
00:07:03,901 --> 00:07:05,120
Yet.
177
00:07:05,163 --> 00:07:07,122
If it does go big,
mark my words... Right.
178
00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:08,602
To fix it,
179
00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:10,386
you're gonna have to kiss
more old white guys' butts
180
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,996
than a democrat in Texas.
181
00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:20,440
Hey, Brick, did you see
all those people out front?
182
00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:22,311
You mean that mob
demanding the head of the guy
183
00:07:22,354 --> 00:07:25,357
responsible for making
Harold quit? Yeah, I saw them.
184
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,491
This is a lot worse
than I thought.
185
00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:30,232
I thought it was
gonna be a lot worse.
186
00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:33,496
I mean, old people are
already mad 'cause they're old.
187
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,585
Then you go and you
get them all riled up.
188
00:07:35,629 --> 00:07:39,154
I mean, these people
got nothing to do all day,
189
00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:42,549
but sit around and wait to
see the one guy on TV they like.
190
00:07:42,592 --> 00:07:44,333
And what do you do?
191
00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:45,377
You make him quit.
192
00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:47,858
That's a bad move, Nick.
193
00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:49,556
I haven't seen
this many angry old people
194
00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:51,514
since they canceled
Walker, Texas Ranger.
195
00:07:53,037 --> 00:07:54,038
Brick?
196
00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:56,127
Peterson.
197
00:07:57,738 --> 00:07:59,217
Nick, can I talk to you
for a second?
198
00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:01,698
Uh, yeah, sure. What's up?
199
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:03,700
Oh, nothing.
200
00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:06,529
There's just 100 people
outside that want to kill you.
201
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:08,923
I was wondering what you
think we should do about it.
202
00:08:08,966 --> 00:08:11,273
Mr. Peterson, I am
really sorry. I mean...
203
00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:13,275
I'll do whatever I have to do.
204
00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:15,625
Will you go out there and let them
choke you within an inch of your life?
205
00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:17,975
What? No?
206
00:08:18,019 --> 00:08:19,324
Well, then don't say you'll
do whatever you have to do.
207
00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:21,805
Look, this is bad, Nick.
208
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:23,546
I haven't seen this many
angry old white people
209
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,417
since they replaced
Jay with Conan.
210
00:08:25,461 --> 00:08:27,245
I'm gonna sneak you
out of the building.
211
00:08:27,289 --> 00:08:29,726
Yeah, and I'm gonna put you
in touch with a PR person.
212
00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:31,554
Now, she's really good
at these things.
213
00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:35,253
Until we get this handled, I
want you to go home and lie low.
214
00:08:35,297 --> 00:08:36,777
Is it really that bad?
215
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:39,388
Yeah, it is.
216
00:08:39,431 --> 00:08:41,477
I haven't seen this many
angry old white people
217
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,784
since they replaced
Bush with Obama.
218
00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:45,786
I mean, old white people
hate Obama.
219
00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:47,527
And they hate you.
220
00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:53,533
Hey, people.
221
00:08:53,576 --> 00:08:56,144
Ooh, I am loving
this social networking.
222
00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:57,624
Did you read my status?
223
00:08:57,667 --> 00:08:59,843
I just wrote, "Marilyn
is updating her status."
224
00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:02,411
Wow. That's really clever.
225
00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:05,022
Yeah, right? I'm "LOL,"
226
00:09:05,066 --> 00:09:06,937
"Loving Online."
227
00:09:06,981 --> 00:09:08,199
That's not what that means.
228
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:09,679
No? Well, it should,
229
00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:11,246
because that's what I'm doing.
230
00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:13,553
Hey, guess how many
friends I got?
231
00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:14,858
Seventeen?
232
00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:16,294
Yeah, how did you know that?
233
00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:18,819
You post every time
you get a new friend.
234
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:20,560
Well, how many friends you got?
235
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:22,039
Six hundred and forty-two.
236
00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:24,085
Oh. How about you, Kevin?
237
00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:25,608
Three hundred and ninety-eight.
238
00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:26,653
Oh.
239
00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:28,785
Ooh, that's 18.
240
00:09:28,829 --> 00:09:30,744
L-M-A-O.
241
00:09:30,787 --> 00:09:32,310
What?
242
00:09:32,354 --> 00:09:34,051
"Loving Me Another One."
243
00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:35,575
That's not what
that means either.
244
00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:39,448
K-M-A. You know what that means?
245
00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:49,545
Come on in. You must be Debra.
246
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,851
It's Deborah.
247
00:09:52,069 --> 00:09:53,331
Isn't that what I said?
248
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:55,290
No, you said "Debra"
with two syllables.
249
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:56,813
It's "Deborah"
with three syllables,
250
00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:58,772
emphasis on the "orah."
251
00:09:58,815 --> 00:10:00,817
Okay. Sorry. My bad.
252
00:10:00,861 --> 00:10:02,123
Hmm, well,
that's why we're here,
253
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:04,081
because you do
bad things, Nicholas.
254
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,214
Nick. What?
255
00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:07,998
You said "Nicholas,"
three syllables.
256
00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:10,784
It's "Nick" with one,
emphasis on the "nuh."
257
00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:13,177
Right. I'm sorry.
258
00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:15,527
Well, let's get
right to the point.
259
00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:17,660
Um, I have to be
honest with you, Nick.
260
00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:20,228
I haven't seen this many
mad old white people
261
00:10:20,271 --> 00:10:21,577
since Harold Bradley quit.
262
00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:25,407
Shouldn't you be using
something else as a reference?
263
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:28,845
In my business, things
move fast, Nick, and quietly.
264
00:10:28,889 --> 00:10:30,891
Remember, last week
when that football player
265
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:33,763
left the team because his
teammate came out of the closet?
266
00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:35,069
No.
267
00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:36,897
Well, that's because
I was there to clean it up.
268
00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:38,246
Remember the actress
269
00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:40,248
who propositioned
her co-star 17-year-old son
270
00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:41,728
when she was drunk in Cabo?
271
00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:43,643
No. Did you clean that up too?
272
00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:45,253
I don't know what
you're talking about, Nick.
273
00:10:45,296 --> 00:10:46,863
The point is,
274
00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:48,691
I can fix this.
275
00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:51,999
But you're going to have to
do exactly what I tell you to.
276
00:10:52,042 --> 00:10:55,350
Come on. Is it really that bad?
277
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:57,178
The only thing
that would be worse
278
00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:59,180
is if Michael Vick
got a gay puppy,
279
00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:01,617
gave him to Tracy Morgan,
and he made a coat out of it.
280
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:02,923
Damn.
281
00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:09,494
All right, what is
going on with Marilyn?
282
00:11:09,538 --> 00:11:10,757
What do you mean?
283
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,584
Well, apparently
she just joined Facebook.
284
00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:14,151
Yeah, a few days ago.
285
00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:16,023
Uh-huh, and she's
being a nuisance.
286
00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:18,329
She's tagging me
in these stupid videos,
287
00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:19,722
inviting me to
all of these causes,
288
00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:22,290
and now, she's writing
on my wall over and over
289
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:24,771
trying to bully me
into joining her
290
00:11:24,814 --> 00:11:27,425
"Stop Internet Bullying" group.
291
00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:29,210
Well, it's not just you, Gigi.
292
00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:31,560
Okay, she's driving
the kids crazy too.
293
00:11:31,603 --> 00:11:34,519
She keeps writing relationship
advice on Lindsey's wall,
294
00:11:35,085 --> 00:11:36,739
and so far,
295
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:40,264
she has tagged and posted
Kevin in about 30 baby pictures,
296
00:11:40,308 --> 00:11:43,528
which is crazy because she didn't
even know Kevin when he was a baby.
297
00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:45,705
I don't know where she's
getting these pictures from.
298
00:11:45,748 --> 00:11:47,358
See, that is crazy.
299
00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:49,926
And I thought I was doing
her a favor by friending her.
300
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:51,754
But now she's
friending all my friends,
301
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:53,843
and they're writing me notes
seeing if they can block her
302
00:11:53,887 --> 00:11:55,802
because she is
getting on their nerves.
303
00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:57,542
She's spreading.
304
00:11:57,586 --> 00:12:00,545
She's spreading like that
virus in the movie Contagion.
305
00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:06,290
Uh, well, listen.
It can't be that bad.
306
00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:08,249
Okay, listen, the only
thing I know that's worse
307
00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:11,295
is how much old white
people hate Nick right now.
308
00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:13,384
Well, thank you
for bringing that up.
309
00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:14,951
Listen, I don't want
to upset you.
310
00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:17,345
I'm just giving you a point
of reference. I'm sorry.
311
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:18,781
But you need to
take care of Marilyn,
312
00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:21,392
or I am going to block her.
313
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:24,613
Blocked.
314
00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:33,100
Are you sure this is gonna work?
315
00:12:33,143 --> 00:12:35,798
Well, either it will,
or you won't.
316
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:38,496
Nick, you have to trust me.
I know what I'm doing.
317
00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:42,631
Hello, everyone. Uh,
looks like we're all here.
318
00:12:42,674 --> 00:12:44,024
Now, as you all know,
319
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:46,809
we had an incident
at the station this past week.
320
00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:49,725
Quite frankly, I haven't seen
this many angry old white people
321
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,858
since Touched by an Angel
was canceled.
322
00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:53,468
It's canceled?
323
00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:55,949
Yeah, I'm sorry.
324
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:59,822
Now, since you guys are loyal
supporters of our newscast,
325
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:01,606
we want to address
your concerns, okay?
326
00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:05,436
So, we brought in
our PR guru, Debra Welkie.
327
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:06,786
Please give her
your attention... Deborah.
328
00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:08,613
Emphasis on the "orah."
329
00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:11,529
Okay. D-Deborah.
330
00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:13,793
Yes.Welcome. Thank you.
331
00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:15,707
Thank you. Thank you.
332
00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:20,190
Now, as you all know,
KAWT cares about the elderly.
333
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:24,238
So, today we're gonna be shooting
a PSA to show just how much.
334
00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:25,543
Mr. Harold Bradley
335
00:13:25,587 --> 00:13:27,981
was kind enough
to come back and help us.
336
00:13:28,024 --> 00:13:29,852
Thank you.
337
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,636
Give 'em hell, Harry.
338
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:35,815
Now, we even brought in our
very own Nick Kingston-Persons.
339
00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:38,121
He'd like to say a few words
before we get started.
340
00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:41,603
Hey, wait a minute. I know
this guy. What's he doing here?
341
00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:43,735
He's the guy
that hates old guys.
342
00:13:43,779 --> 00:13:46,869
No, I just wanted
to say I'm sorry.
343
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:49,350
Yeah, and I want
to say, "Bite me."
344
00:13:49,393 --> 00:13:50,830
Yeah, bite us.
345
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:52,483
Look, guys, guys,
346
00:13:52,527 --> 00:13:54,746
this was all just
a huge mistake.
347
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:57,184
Look, I just came here
to make this right.
348
00:13:57,227 --> 00:13:59,882
Yeah? Well, you make this right.
349
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:01,449
Hey, hey, what are you doing?
350
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,755
Oh! Come on! Debra, help!
351
00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:05,540
It's Deborah! Oh!
352
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:08,064
Fine, Deborah!
Will you please help?
353
00:14:08,108 --> 00:14:11,024
What am I supposed to do? I had no
idea these people hated you so much.
354
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:14,244
Hey, okay. Settle down, okay?
355
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:16,159
What for? We hate this guy.
356
00:14:16,203 --> 00:14:19,467
Look, Nick didn't pressure
me out of a job. I quit.
357
00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:22,296
Well, we love you, Harold,
and we hate him.
358
00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:25,429
If I was 50 years younger,
I'd whip his butt.
359
00:14:25,473 --> 00:14:28,258
Come on, cut it out, all right?
360
00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,260
All right, fine. But I'll
tell you one thing,
361
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:32,393
I'm not gonna watch
this station again.
362
00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:35,309
Yeah, you can take
this station and shove it.
363
00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:36,440
Yeah.
364
00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:43,795
Harold, wait. Let's not
end things like this.
365
00:14:43,839 --> 00:14:45,972
Uh, we need you
on the air tonight.
366
00:14:46,015 --> 00:14:47,887
And you can do a spot with Nick,
367
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,366
and he can apologize to you.
368
00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:51,934
On the air, in front of people.
369
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:55,590
Yes, on the air, in front
of people. Good idea.
370
00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:59,028
Okay, well, yeah,
I'll do it. Why not?
371
00:14:59,072 --> 00:15:00,334
I'll do that for you, Nick.
372
00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:02,945
You seem like
a decent sort of chap.
373
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:05,948
Thanks, man. I appreciate it.
374
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,559
Nick, I'll help you
word your apology.
375
00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:10,518
I was just gonna say I'm sorry.
376
00:15:10,561 --> 00:15:12,868
Ooh, that's good. Let's use it.
377
00:15:22,051 --> 00:15:24,401
Okay, what is going on?
378
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:27,491
You know, I've been
on Facebook all day,
379
00:15:27,535 --> 00:15:29,711
and I can't find
any of my friends.
380
00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:32,018
That's because they've
all un-friended you, Ma.
381
00:15:32,061 --> 00:15:33,106
What?
382
00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:34,890
Marilyn, have a seat.
383
00:15:38,502 --> 00:15:41,636
Okay. What's all this?
384
00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,943
Marilyn, we love you.
385
00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:46,858
We love you!
And we want you back.
386
00:15:46,902 --> 00:15:49,426
I'm sorry. I just get
emotional at these things.
387
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:52,342
You want me back? Gigi,
what are you talking about?
388
00:15:52,386 --> 00:15:54,779
We're talking about you
driving us crazy.
389
00:15:54,823 --> 00:15:58,566
Marilyn, it's all the posting
that you've been doing.
390
00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:01,395
We think you might be addicted.
391
00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:02,962
Mmm-hmm.
392
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:05,007
Addicted?
393
00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:06,487
Girl, that's just crazy talk.
394
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:09,838
Ma! Stop it!
395
00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:13,015
You can't post everything that
happens every moment of the day.
396
00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:14,408
Hey, Marilyn,
397
00:16:14,451 --> 00:16:16,845
you liked a photo of me
at 4:30 in the morning.
398
00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:20,066
You wouldn't be online at 4:30 in
the morning unless you had a problem.
399
00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:21,893
It was a good photo!
400
00:16:22,807 --> 00:16:24,940
Wow. No, it's not.
401
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,724
Listen, Marilyn.
402
00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:30,337
I posted a thread, and
there was 150 comments,
403
00:16:30,380 --> 00:16:33,775
and 132 of them were
yours. It's too much!
404
00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:36,038
It's too much!
405
00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:38,345
And you keep suggesting
friends to my friends.
406
00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:41,870
My friends are 12. That's nasty.
407
00:16:41,913 --> 00:16:44,742
Marilyn, I know what you're going
through. I've been there myself.
408
00:16:44,786 --> 00:16:45,961
Been where?
409
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,223
Rock bottom.
410
00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:48,790
You know, when I first joined,
411
00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:51,184
a friend introduced me
to Farm City.
412
00:16:51,227 --> 00:16:52,794
Mmm.
413
00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:54,274
Before I knew it, I was
skipping the real life market,
414
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:56,624
so I could go home and shop
at the Farm City market.
415
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:58,321
That's right. That's right.
416
00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:01,585
I lost three girlfriends, ten
pounds, and my self-respect.
417
00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:02,891
That's what happens.
418
00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:04,153
It took me over, Marilyn.
419
00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:05,937
That's because you're an idiot.
420
00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:09,898
Hey, hey, hey.
There's no need for names.
421
00:17:09,941 --> 00:17:12,770
This is a safe place.
Very safe place.
422
00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:14,207
You know what?
423
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:16,252
Y'all can have your safe
place. I'm out of here.
424
00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:18,124
Twenty-four hours, Ma.
425
00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:20,256
Twenty-four hours without using.
426
00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:21,518
That's all we ask.
427
00:17:21,562 --> 00:17:23,085
You can do it.
428
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:24,478
Come on.
429
00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:26,001
Just do it.
430
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,569
It's gonna be okay, Ma.GIGI: Oh, yeah!
431
00:17:28,612 --> 00:17:29,831
Hey, she's doing it again.
432
00:17:29,874 --> 00:17:31,746
No, Ma!
433
00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:32,921
What?
434
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,575
I'm just updating
my status to say,
435
00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:36,838
"I'm not addicted
to this." I'm...
436
00:17:36,881 --> 00:17:39,319
Really, Ma? Come on.
437
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:40,407
You can do this.
438
00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:41,712
Let it go. Let it go.
439
00:17:41,756 --> 00:17:43,323
Just let it go. Give him the phone.
440
00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:44,411
You don't need this.
441
00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:47,022
Okay, okay. Okay. Let go, Ma.
442
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,024
Twenty-four hours. Twenty-four hours.
443
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,156
That's it.
444
00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:51,940
Let go. Let it go.
445
00:17:51,983 --> 00:17:53,072
She ain't letting it go.
446
00:17:53,115 --> 00:17:54,116
Yeah!
447
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:03,821
Did you know that peanuts
aren't actually nuts?
448
00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:06,041
And they're not peas either.
449
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,912
Who names these things?
450
00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:10,567
Peanuts are really beans.
451
00:18:10,611 --> 00:18:13,875
But they're not any of
the beans that I'm used to,
452
00:18:13,918 --> 00:18:17,531
like lima beans, and green
beans, and fava beans
453
00:18:17,574 --> 00:18:22,449
and coffee beans, soy
beans, pork and beans.
454
00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:25,278
But it doesn't seem
like you can do
455
00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:30,239
as many things with beans
as you can do with nuts.
456
00:18:30,283 --> 00:18:32,241
They're not the musical fruit.
457
00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:36,115
So, what happened? I
thought Harold was quitting.
458
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:38,029
Yeah, I thought
he was quitting too.
459
00:18:38,073 --> 00:18:40,510
I've been trying to get rid
of this guy for 12 years.
460
00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:43,383
But I never could
because he's a icon.
461
00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:44,471
What?
462
00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:45,907
Every day, I have
to give this guy
463
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:48,039
four and a half minutes
of my afternoon newscast.
464
00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:49,780
Meanwhile, other
stations are reporting
465
00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:52,609
on car chases, wars, murders.
466
00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:54,742
What do we have? Peanuts.
467
00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:57,353
Then my luck changes.
468
00:18:57,397 --> 00:19:00,617
You insult the guy,
he quits, I'm thrilled.
469
00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:02,967
Wait, you were happy about that?
470
00:19:03,011 --> 00:19:04,534
Well, why didn't you tell me?
471
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:06,928
Well, because I was
using you as a pawn, Nick.
472
00:19:06,971 --> 00:19:09,409
You don't tell
people about that.
473
00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:12,194
Next thing I know, I got an
uprising of old people on my hands
474
00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:15,328
and corporate shoving that
Debra Welkie down my throat.
475
00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:16,416
Uh, Deborah.
476
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:17,808
Ugh, Deborah.
477
00:19:18,896 --> 00:19:20,202
Anyway, next thing you know,
478
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:21,508
you guys are making nice,
479
00:19:21,551 --> 00:19:23,292
the cards and letters
are coming in,
480
00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:25,512
and the station puts him back
on the air, and gives him a raise.
481
00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:27,296
Thanks a lot, Nick.
482
00:19:27,340 --> 00:19:30,560
What? How are you
mad at me about that?
483
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:32,171
How was I supposed to know that?
484
00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:33,650
I don't know.
485
00:19:33,694 --> 00:19:37,654
But it all rolls downhill,
Nick, and you're downhill.
486
00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:47,229
Hey, Harold. Good stuff, man.
487
00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:48,709
Yeah. Glad you're back.
488
00:19:48,752 --> 00:19:49,971
I thought you were done.
489
00:19:50,014 --> 00:19:51,712
So did I.
490
00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:53,757
And then, you had to up
491
00:19:53,801 --> 00:19:57,108
and blow the whole
thing for me, you big jerk.
492
00:19:57,631 --> 00:19:58,719
What?
493
00:19:58,762 --> 00:20:01,156
Nick, why do you think
494
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:06,030
I keep doing these stupid
segments on apples and peanuts?
495
00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:09,512
I have been trying to get
fired for the last ten years,
496
00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:11,340
but they just wouldn't
pull the trigger.
497
00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:13,255
So, what the hell?
498
00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:15,170
I decided to pack it in.
499
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:18,782
And then, you can't
handle a few insults.
500
00:20:18,826 --> 00:20:21,959
A few insults? Man, they were
throwing apples at me, man.
501
00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:24,919
They were old folks,
Nick, old people.
502
00:20:24,962 --> 00:20:26,964
How hard could they hit you?
503
00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:30,751
Now there's this uproar of
support to keep me on the air.
504
00:20:32,056 --> 00:20:33,710
I'm sorry, man. I thought...
505
00:20:33,754 --> 00:20:35,625
Nobody cares
what you thought, Nick.
506
00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:37,975
But thanks to you,
507
00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:42,850
I'm now stuck here
until the day I die.
508
00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:46,462
Don't you ever wonder why
people say, "The day I die"?
509
00:20:46,506 --> 00:20:47,942
What if it's at night?
510
00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:50,597
Or in the afternoon?
511
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,382
And does it really take
a whole day to die,
512
00:20:53,426 --> 00:20:56,080
or just maybe a second or two?
513
00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:57,995
But kind of hard to find out
514
00:20:58,039 --> 00:21:00,737
because all the people
who could tell you are dead.
37619
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