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1
00:00:05,701 --> 00:00:08,660
Hey, baby, I saved you a plate.
2
00:00:08,704 --> 00:00:09,879
Thanks, honey.
3
00:00:11,924 --> 00:00:14,275
How you doing? Long day?
4
00:00:14,318 --> 00:00:16,712
Mmm-hmm.Mmm.
5
00:00:16,755 --> 00:00:21,064
The next time I agree
to work with college kids,
6
00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:22,674
please kill me.
7
00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:24,763
You know, they're planning
this blogger summit
8
00:00:24,807 --> 00:00:26,330
with these people from Mashable
9
00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:28,289
and Daily Beast and Boing Boing,
10
00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:30,508
and these people
are apparently a big deal.
11
00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:34,034
But so far,
all their ideas suck.
12
00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:36,297
I can't believe that
somebody's making money
13
00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:37,863
from something
called Boing Boing.
14
00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:39,822
I guess so.
15
00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:41,824
Can't you just pass it
off to somebody else?
16
00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:44,131
No, it was passed off to me.
17
00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:46,089
The guy who was working on it,
18
00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:50,050
he had an anxiety attack and
fainted in the meeting with the kids.
19
00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:51,486
They thought he died.
20
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:53,009
Ooh.Yeah.
21
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,098
So, now they're sending
two students over.
22
00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:57,622
And these girls,
all they do is text.
23
00:00:57,666 --> 00:00:59,929
Okay, they don't even use
whole words.
24
00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:05,065
Everything is TTYL and OMG
and BRB and XMLOP...
25
00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:08,807
I mean, you know, and everything
has an emoticon next to it.
26
00:01:08,851 --> 00:01:10,853
You know, I feel
like I'm 12 years old.
27
00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:15,075
I know, baby. SMH. SMH.
28
00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:16,728
Hey, Mom, did you
fill out this form
29
00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:18,339
to chaperone my
field trip this week?
30
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,602
Lindsey, sweetheart,
I'm sorry, I can't.
31
00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:22,865
This project is
taking up all my days.
32
00:01:22,908 --> 00:01:24,867
Can't you get one of
the other moms to go?
33
00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:27,174
Hey, don't worry,
baby, I got it.
34
00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:29,654
Look, after I do my segment,
35
00:01:29,698 --> 00:01:31,656
I'll meet you guys
at the school. Thanks, Dad.
36
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:35,095
All right, look, just fill
this out and I'll sign it.
37
00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:36,922
Thank you, honey. I got you.
38
00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:38,228
Hey, Mom, uh, can you help me
39
00:01:38,272 --> 00:01:39,534
with my scene for the play?
40
00:01:39,577 --> 00:01:41,318
What play? My class play.
41
00:01:41,362 --> 00:01:42,798
I'm Malcolm X.
42
00:01:42,841 --> 00:01:44,495
Kevin, we worked on it.
43
00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:46,149
You only have one scene.
44
00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:47,890
What are you worried about?
45
00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:49,370
Muslims.
46
00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:51,459
We get a bad review
from those dudes, it's over.
47
00:01:51,502 --> 00:01:53,025
I mean, besides,
I have the attitude down,
48
00:01:53,069 --> 00:01:54,549
I just need help
with the costume.
49
00:01:54,592 --> 00:01:56,377
Kevin, it's Malcolm X.
50
00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:59,206
I mean, you're already black.
The costume's half done.
51
00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:01,338
All you need is a tie
and some glasses.
52
00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:03,253
Mom, can we please go
look tomorrow? Please?
53
00:02:03,297 --> 00:02:06,561
Guys, hey, hey, your mother
has a lot on her plate right now.
54
00:02:06,604 --> 00:02:08,519
So, unless it's an emergency,
55
00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:10,608
you come to me, all right?
56
00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:12,436
Define "emergency."
57
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:15,787
Any situation where people
have to drive here
58
00:02:15,831 --> 00:02:18,181
in trucks or cars
with flashing lights
59
00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:20,140
and leave here with
one of you in the back,
60
00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:22,011
all right? Now go.
61
00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:26,668
Look, Dad, don't let
tomorrow come,
62
00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:28,235
and I don't have
a tie and some glasses.
63
00:02:28,278 --> 00:02:30,715
'Cause if I have to
go to her, it's on you.
64
00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:41,204
♪ Are we there yet?
65
00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:44,512
♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me
66
00:02:44,555 --> 00:02:46,383
♪ Tell me, are we there yet?
67
00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:48,298
♪ Are we there yet?
68
00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:53,303
Oh, babe, don't
forget this afternoon,
69
00:02:53,347 --> 00:02:56,045
we have that appointment
at the life insurance office.
70
00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:58,787
Oh, that's today?
71
00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:01,659
Yeah, I told you last week. Why?
72
00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:04,140
Oh, I was... I was
just gonna, you know,
73
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,229
Since you were busy
with your project,
74
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:07,970
then I'm running
around with the kids,
75
00:03:08,013 --> 00:03:10,886
I was just thinking
we'd push it off till later.
76
00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:12,627
We've pushed it off
for months already,
77
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,411
we need to get this done.
78
00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:16,761
Oh, I'm just saying, you know,
I thought we would do it later,
79
00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:19,416
you know, because right now
our lives are so hectic.
80
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:22,114
Nick, we have two kids,
two jobs, and crazy in-laws.
81
00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:24,291
Our lives aren't gonna get
any less hectic.
82
00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:25,988
Why do you keep trying
to avoid this?
83
00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:29,948
Because I'm superstitious, okay?
84
00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:31,385
About what?
85
00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:33,561
I've seen stories
of people who died
86
00:03:33,604 --> 00:03:34,997
in freak accidents
87
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,696
right after they signed
their life insurance policies.
88
00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:40,916
And by stories, you mean movies?
89
00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:42,004
No.
90
00:03:42,047 --> 00:03:43,135
Yes.
91
00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:44,876
Maybe.Nick.
92
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,748
What? Art imitates life.
93
00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:48,793
Why you laughing?
94
00:03:48,837 --> 00:03:51,492
You are not gonna die
in some freak accident.
95
00:03:51,535 --> 00:03:52,797
How do you know that?
96
00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:56,061
I don't. But if you do,
we need life insurance.
97
00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:02,677
Wait, wait, wait, wait...
98
00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:06,594
Hi, I'm Stacy.
99
00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:08,944
I'm head of the Student Body
Events Planning Committee.
100
00:04:08,987 --> 00:04:11,990
Hi, Stacy, I'm Suzanne.
And, uh...
101
00:04:12,034 --> 00:04:14,210
...this is Gigi.
102
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,995
Oh, my God,
is that a Palmer bag?
103
00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:18,997
Oh, why yes, it is.
104
00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:21,565
Bri, can we focus on work
for just one minute
105
00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:24,438
before you start purse
shopping inside your mind?
106
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,353
Wow, have you been listening
107
00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:28,398
to our conversations,
'cause that was scary.
108
00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:30,835
I don't even want to know
how much you paid for this.
109
00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:34,491
- Pay? Um, no...
- No, sweetie.
110
00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:36,406
You don't pay for a Palmer bag.
111
00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:39,104
If you have to buy it,
you shouldn't have it.
112
00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:40,715
I don't even know
where to get one.
113
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:43,108
Well, I'm sure Gigi
would love to show you.
114
00:04:43,152 --> 00:04:44,240
Can I? Can I?
115
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,372
Go.Fine.
116
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:53,945
So, this is where
everything happens.
117
00:04:53,989 --> 00:04:55,599
Everything what?
118
00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:58,080
You're doing exactly what I
want to do when I get older.
119
00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:00,430
Right, older.
120
00:05:00,474 --> 00:05:02,911
You know, I've done
some research on you.
121
00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:04,304
You do a lot of big events.
122
00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:06,218
I do. And your husband's on TV.
123
00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:07,350
He is.
124
00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:12,050
I'm sorry, it's my boyfriend.
125
00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:13,443
No problem. Go ahead.
126
00:05:13,487 --> 00:05:15,445
It's like I haven't even
been here five minutes,
127
00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:17,404
and he's already checkin' in
to see how it's going.
128
00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:20,232
It's like, "Seriously, don't
you have something to do?"
129
00:05:20,276 --> 00:05:21,799
I know we do.
130
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:23,453
Oh, my God. What?
131
00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:24,802
I love how you just did that.
132
00:05:24,846 --> 00:05:26,500
What?
133
00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:28,719
It's like one second, we're
just talking and being casual,
134
00:05:28,763 --> 00:05:30,808
and then the next,
it's down to business.
135
00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:31,853
That is so cool.
136
00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:35,465
Argh!
137
00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:42,254
Mr. and Mrs. Kingston-Persons.
138
00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:45,214
Uh, so you are here
to, uh, take out
139
00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:47,390
a little life insurance
on the mister today, huh?
140
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:48,783
Yeah, we've been
putting this off
141
00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:50,350
for a while
and I just thought that...
142
00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:52,439
Oh, excuse me for just a sec.
143
00:05:52,482 --> 00:05:53,962
What it do, Flip?
144
00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:59,663
- What?
- What?
145
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:01,622
No, Flip, no.
146
00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:03,798
Ye-eah. Word?
147
00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:06,757
Ho, ho, Flip,
that is bananas, son.
148
00:06:06,801 --> 00:06:08,411
That is bananas!
149
00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:10,544
No, a'ight, listen...
150
00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:12,415
No, I got to hit you
back. I got some...
151
00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:13,721
Yeah, I got some
people up in here.
152
00:06:13,764 --> 00:06:15,549
A'ight.
153
00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:16,898
A'ight, peace.
154
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:20,249
Uh, so, um,
Mrs. Kingston-Persons,
155
00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:22,382
you already have
a policy out with us.
156
00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:23,470
I do. All right,
157
00:06:23,513 --> 00:06:25,080
so, Mr. Kingston-Persons,
158
00:06:25,123 --> 00:06:28,779
uh, based on a number of
factors we take into account,
159
00:06:28,823 --> 00:06:31,173
uh, this is what
we're recommending for you.
160
00:06:31,216 --> 00:06:32,827
Half a million
dollar term and...
161
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:34,437
Uh, excuse me.
162
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:36,134
why don't you just look
this over? I got to take this.
163
00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:39,268
Hey, girl.
164
00:06:39,311 --> 00:06:40,965
Hey, where you at?
165
00:06:42,053 --> 00:06:44,142
Word? What you doin'?
166
00:06:44,578 --> 00:06:46,014
You lie.
167
00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:47,581
For real?
168
00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:49,713
A'ight, send me something
then. Send me something.
169
00:06:52,150 --> 00:06:54,414
You are crazy, girl! You crazy.
170
00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:59,027
No, no, I...
No, I hit you back, a'ight?
171
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:00,507
Yes, send me the rest of that.
172
00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:03,205
Uh, yes... Yes?
173
00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:08,340
Um, according to this,
Suzanne is worth $750,000.
174
00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:10,647
How come I'm only
worth $500,000?
175
00:07:10,691 --> 00:07:12,910
Well, there are
several factors, age...
176
00:07:12,954 --> 00:07:14,564
We're about
the same age.Health...
177
00:07:14,608 --> 00:07:16,131
I'm as healthy as she is.
178
00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:17,437
Projected income.
179
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,873
I plan on making some money.
180
00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:21,005
The numbers are what they are.
181
00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:23,399
And honestly,
I got to tell you, uh,
182
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,792
her being worth more than you,
183
00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:26,184
it's probably a good thing.
184
00:07:26,228 --> 00:07:27,664
I can't tell you how
many guys come in here,
185
00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:29,013
their wives take out
policies on them,
186
00:07:29,057 --> 00:07:30,928
next thing you know,
no more guy.
187
00:07:31,929 --> 00:07:33,627
Ooh!
188
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:36,978
Okay, for goodness sakes,
189
00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:38,762
can you please stop
whatever that is
190
00:07:38,806 --> 00:07:40,198
and pay attention to us?
191
00:07:40,242 --> 00:07:41,635
Yo, no disrespect, but check it,
192
00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:43,463
if you were looking
at what I'm looking at,
193
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:44,725
you'd be looking at it, too.
194
00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:46,466
Really?
195
00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:48,337
On my mama. Ooh!
196
00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:49,904
All right, let me see it.
197
00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:51,601
No, that's inappropriate.
198
00:07:51,645 --> 00:07:53,385
Uh, you already
crossed the line.
199
00:07:53,429 --> 00:07:54,648
I want to see why.
200
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:56,867
Eh, uh, don't show him.
201
00:07:56,911 --> 00:07:58,390
I'm not, I'm not.
202
00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:02,656
Wow.
203
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:04,266
Okay. Yeah, that...
204
00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:05,354
That's impressive.
205
00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:06,834
Hey, wha...
206
00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:07,922
So, we good?
207
00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:09,532
No, no! No, not quite.
208
00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:11,621
Look, I can give you a policy
for whatever you want.
209
00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:13,623
I mean, I can give you
over $10 million.
210
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:15,451
It just means
more commission for me,
211
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,932
but the numbers
say half a million.
212
00:08:17,975 --> 00:08:20,587
You know, well, why don't you
think about it and let me know?
213
00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:22,414
Excuse me.
214
00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:24,460
Oh, girl, you crazy.
215
00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:32,947
Hey, man.
216
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,949
You need to fix
those stairs outside.
217
00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:37,734
Whoa, bring it down, Samuel L.
218
00:08:37,778 --> 00:08:39,083
What's wrong with them?
219
00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:40,607
They're not safe for walking on.
220
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,565
I almost tripped
and broke my neck.
221
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:45,786
No wonder you built a bar at
the bottom of those stairs. Shoot.
222
00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:48,266
Walking in here,
you need a drink.
223
00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:50,225
You're not gonna have
a business much longer
224
00:08:50,268 --> 00:08:52,880
if you try to kill everybody
that walks in here.
225
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:54,490
What's gotten into you?
226
00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,493
Went to see
the life insurance agent.
227
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,929
So, what'd they
put you down for?
228
00:08:58,973 --> 00:09:00,104
Half a million.
229
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,323
Not bad.
230
00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:05,196
Except Suzanne's policy
was worth $750,000.
231
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,850
Wow, go Suzanne.
232
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,983
How am I supposed
to get up every morning
233
00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:10,985
knowing that if something
were to happen to me,
234
00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:12,595
it wouldn't make any difference,
235
00:09:12,639 --> 00:09:15,816
because I am only worth a
portion of what my woman is worth?
236
00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:18,949
Well, you're not supposed to wake
up every morning thinking about that.
237
00:09:18,993 --> 00:09:21,778
But if you must, I suggest you
fire off a note to Nick Cannon,
238
00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:23,475
ask how he deals with it.
239
00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:24,738
Okay, it's not about you.
240
00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,435
It's about taking care
of your family.
241
00:09:26,478 --> 00:09:29,743
Says the guy with no
family and no life insurance.
242
00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:31,658
See that's where you're wrong.
243
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:35,618
I may not have kids, but I do have
family, and I have life insurance.
244
00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:37,228
Why do you have life insurance?
245
00:09:37,272 --> 00:09:39,709
All right, you're single.
You have no kids. What?
246
00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:41,842
But you might recall
I do have a mother.
247
00:09:41,885 --> 00:09:43,234
If anything ever happens to me,
248
00:09:43,278 --> 00:09:45,933
I want to make sure that
she's always taken care of.
249
00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:48,631
Plus, when you tell women that,
you would not believe...
250
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:50,633
Oh, come, oh, no, hey, hey, man,
251
00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:52,461
look, that, that right there
252
00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:55,507
is equal parts sweet,
clever, and evil.
253
00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:58,293
I know. I'm proud of it.
254
00:09:58,336 --> 00:10:01,209
Look, man, the point is your
wife makes more than you do.
255
00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:03,080
It's not like you plan
on ever benefiting from that,
256
00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:04,473
so what difference does it make?
257
00:10:04,516 --> 00:10:05,735
If I were you,
258
00:10:05,779 --> 00:10:08,433
I would concentrate more
on the not-dying part.
259
00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:11,045
I would, if you would do
something about those stairs.
260
00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:12,263
You're cut off.
261
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:18,792
As-salaam alaikum, my
brother, as-salaam alaikum.
262
00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:21,446
Well, alaikum salaam.
You ready for dinner?
263
00:10:22,056 --> 00:10:23,535
Dinner, my brother?
264
00:10:24,536 --> 00:10:26,234
Merely sitting down
at this table
265
00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:28,192
does not make this a dinner.
266
00:10:28,236 --> 00:10:29,367
Where is the food?
267
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:31,587
Where are the utensils, huh?
268
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,720
I mean, are we supposed
to simply lick the plates
269
00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:35,852
and hope that there
is some taste left on them
270
00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,593
from the last people
who used them?
271
00:10:39,508 --> 00:10:40,944
Who are you supposed to be?
272
00:10:40,988 --> 00:10:43,686
Leave him alone. He's in
character for his class play.
273
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:47,951
Well, it's not Broadway.
It's the seventh grade.
274
00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:51,563
Do you think this is what I
prefer to do with my time?
275
00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:55,002
This is not a choice.
It's a dilemma.
276
00:10:55,045 --> 00:10:59,615
Either perform the undesirable
task well, or suffer the consequences.
277
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,051
I didn't land
in the seventh grade.
278
00:11:01,095 --> 00:11:02,705
The seventh grade landed on me.
279
00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:06,578
Um, Kevin...
280
00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:11,845
Malcolm, can you pass
the croutons?
281
00:11:14,151 --> 00:11:15,718
Croutons?
282
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:18,199
Why, my brother,
do you want croutons?
283
00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:20,375
Is the flavor
of the salad so strong
284
00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:24,814
that you have to weaken it with the
bland taste of the dry white bread?
285
00:11:24,858 --> 00:11:27,948
Because you can't accept
the greens for what they are?
286
00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:29,993
What used to be whole
is now half.
287
00:11:30,037 --> 00:11:31,865
What used to be fresh
is now fried.
288
00:11:31,908 --> 00:11:33,693
What used to be crispy
is now crummy.
289
00:11:33,736 --> 00:11:36,347
Can you pass the
croutons, man, please?
290
00:11:38,175 --> 00:11:39,437
Thank you.
291
00:11:53,843 --> 00:11:54,931
What the...
292
00:11:59,893 --> 00:12:01,590
Why do you look
like Smooth Criminal?
293
00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:05,028
I went out
with Briana last night.
294
00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:06,900
Now, Gigi,
why would you do that?
295
00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:08,640
That girl is half your...
296
00:12:10,512 --> 00:12:12,340
Two-thirds your age.
297
00:12:12,383 --> 00:12:15,038
I was trying to help.
298
00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:17,693
I know it's been a while since
both of us have been to college.
299
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,217
So, since we're doing
a college function,
300
00:12:20,261 --> 00:12:22,263
I thought it'd be
a good idea to find out
301
00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:23,743
what the college kids are into.
302
00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:24,787
And?
303
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:26,571
Alcohol, lots of alcohol.
304
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:29,749
Gosh, I just hate to admit it,
305
00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:32,621
but my ass is too old
to be doing Jell-O shots.
306
00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:34,492
Morning.
307
00:12:38,148 --> 00:12:41,325
Good morning, Stacy.
Where's, uh, Briana?
308
00:12:41,369 --> 00:12:43,240
Someplace looking like that.
309
00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:46,330
They went out last night,
and it didn't go so well.
310
00:12:46,374 --> 00:12:48,637
Excuse me, I am gonna
go wedge my head
311
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:51,858
between the elevator doors and
see if it'll get rid of this headache.
312
00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:55,209
So, you didn't go
out last night?
313
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:58,778
No, I wanted to go over some
plans with you this morning.
314
00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:00,170
And I didn't get
started till late
315
00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:01,302
because when I got
back to my room,
316
00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:02,390
my boyfriend
was there with food.
317
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:03,565
So, then I had to eat
and talk to him
318
00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:05,523
for like two hours
and then work, too.
319
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,569
There was no way I
was going out for shots.
320
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,617
The boyfriend? Yes!
321
00:13:12,661 --> 00:13:14,619
It's like, do you seriously
need to text me
322
00:13:14,663 --> 00:13:16,317
every single minute of the day?
323
00:13:19,059 --> 00:13:21,148
The husband, checkin' on me.
324
00:13:22,584 --> 00:13:25,848
So, how long have you two
been together again?
325
00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:27,719
About two years now.
326
00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:29,852
And he's talking
marriage and kids,
327
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:32,159
I'm like, can I get
a career first?
328
00:13:32,202 --> 00:13:34,204
Oh, that's probably smart.
329
00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:35,945
He does sound like
a nice guy though.
330
00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:37,686
He is.
331
00:13:37,729 --> 00:13:39,993
I just don't want to base
my life depending on a man.
332
00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:42,909
Quick, call 911.
333
00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:44,954
Gigi got her head stuck
in the elevator doors.
334
00:13:44,998 --> 00:13:46,826
There's weave everywhere.
335
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:55,704
So, what can I do for you
today, Mr. Kingston-Persons?
336
00:13:55,747 --> 00:13:56,923
Well, first of all,
337
00:13:56,966 --> 00:13:58,707
you could put a wet
floor sign out there.
338
00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:00,883
How is it gonna look
for your company
339
00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:03,059
when somebody comes in
here trying to protect themselves
340
00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:05,192
in the event something
unfortunate occurs
341
00:14:05,235 --> 00:14:06,889
and then something
unfortunate occurs?
342
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:09,413
Oh, excuse me
for just a second...
343
00:14:09,457 --> 00:14:10,806
Don't answer that phone, man.
344
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,026
Yeah, but I just
wanted to... Da, da, duh.
345
00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:14,897
I should... Just wanted...
346
00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:16,551
Okay.
347
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:19,293
Have a seat.
348
00:14:19,336 --> 00:14:22,905
All right, I just need you
to do one thing for me,
349
00:14:22,949 --> 00:14:25,299
and then you can talk
on the phone all you want.
350
00:14:25,342 --> 00:14:26,691
Okay, shoot, shoot.
351
00:14:26,735 --> 00:14:28,519
All right, now, see,
352
00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:31,914
what I need to know is how much
would I be worth if I was single?
353
00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:35,178
Oh, listen, man,
354
00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:37,050
between me and you, I don't
know what you're planning,
355
00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:39,182
but I can't be a part of this.
356
00:14:39,226 --> 00:14:41,315
I'm not planning
to do anything, man.
357
00:14:41,358 --> 00:14:43,708
Look, I just need you
to run the numbers,
358
00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:46,494
and find out how much I would
be worth if I wasn't married.
359
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,540
Hey, hey, hey, stay with me.
360
00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:52,152
Okay, yeah, okay, hold on,
just a... Just a minute here.
361
00:14:52,195 --> 00:14:53,936
Let's see, uh,
362
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:57,200
so we're going
to use your application,
363
00:14:57,244 --> 00:15:00,812
the same health records,
same income projectors,
364
00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:03,119
no wife, and, uh, no kids.
365
00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:05,948
Uh, in that case,
I would recommend
366
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:10,474
a policy of, uh,
$250,000 term life.
367
00:15:10,518 --> 00:15:13,390
What? Without my wife,
I'm only half as much?
368
00:15:13,434 --> 00:15:14,826
Hey...
369
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:17,612
Okay, and the premiums
are higher, too.
370
00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:21,703
You see, uh, most,
uh, men that are single
371
00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:24,662
are more reckless
than married men, so, uh...
372
00:15:24,706 --> 00:15:26,403
Listen, man,
all I'm trying to say is,
373
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:28,710
having a wife makes
you much more valuable
374
00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:30,581
than you would be if, you know,
375
00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:31,931
something happened to her.
376
00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:34,890
Nothing's gonna happen
to my wife, man!
377
00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:37,501
Can I please get this?
378
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,461
Go ahead. Oh!
379
00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:43,246
Yeah, yeah!
380
00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:45,466
Uh, hey, listen, say hi
to your wife for me, okay?
381
00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:47,163
No, no!
382
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:57,304
Okay, do I need
to separate you two?
383
00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:00,002
What is this?
384
00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:01,917
We're going to a flash mob.
385
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,397
Let's show her.
386
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,182
Okay, you're gonna be
really excited about this.
387
00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:07,488
Ready? Okay.
388
00:16:07,531 --> 00:16:09,359
Five, six, seven, eight.
389
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:11,448
♪ Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh
390
00:16:11,492 --> 00:16:15,017
♪ Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh
391
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:16,236
♪ Uh!
392
00:16:19,935 --> 00:16:21,371
Pow!
393
00:16:21,893 --> 00:16:23,373
Wow.
394
00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:26,594
Until last night, I'd never
heard of a flash mob,
395
00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:28,552
but they want to open
the summit with it.
396
00:16:28,596 --> 00:16:30,293
They feel that
it's the perfect way
397
00:16:30,337 --> 00:16:32,339
to integrate the immediacy
398
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:33,688
of the cyber world...
Thank you...
399
00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:36,517
With the intimacy
of human interaction.
400
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,998
Well, okay, that's a fine idea.
401
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:40,608
You're so amazing. I know.
402
00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:42,610
You're just so amazing. You're
so great. And you're gorgeous.
403
00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:43,872
And I just love you.
404
00:16:43,915 --> 00:16:46,092
You're so great. Oh, my gosh,
you're too much!
405
00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:48,355
I'm gonna be
outside, okay? Okay, in one minute.
406
00:16:48,398 --> 00:16:50,052
Okay. One minute, okay!
407
00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:52,576
Oh, my gosh, okay, all right.
408
00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:54,143
If you ever work with
college students again,
409
00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:56,015
you keep them away from me?
410
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:57,712
Oh, so it's my fault that you're
exhausted and hung over every day?
411
00:16:57,755 --> 00:16:59,757
Listen, she keeps flattering me.
412
00:16:59,801 --> 00:17:01,803
You know
I can't resist flattery.
413
00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:02,934
Did you hear her?
414
00:17:02,978 --> 00:17:04,284
I mean, come on.
415
00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:06,112
I can't help it. I love her.
416
00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:07,939
Okay, no more, bye-bye.
417
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,901
Look, could you
just give it a break?
418
00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:14,511
I don't know.
419
00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,861
Whatever you want
it to mean. Fine.
420
00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:20,648
Trouble in paradise?
421
00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:22,693
Could you explain to me
why men are so stupid?
422
00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:24,086
No.
423
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:25,914
It's like, I'm in school,
424
00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:27,481
he's working, we're both busy,
425
00:17:27,524 --> 00:17:29,178
and then he's all like,
426
00:17:29,222 --> 00:17:30,353
"Well, how come it seems like
427
00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:31,441
"I'm always making time for you
428
00:17:31,485 --> 00:17:32,921
"but you're not making
time for me?"
429
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,879
I'm like, "I'm not
not making time,
430
00:17:34,923 --> 00:17:36,751
"I don't have time.
There's a difference."
431
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:38,318
And then he's like,
432
00:17:38,361 --> 00:17:39,797
"Well, you think you're worth
433
00:17:39,841 --> 00:17:41,582
"so much more than me.
It's not like you're Oprah."
434
00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:44,193
And I'm like, "God,
I did not say that."
435
00:17:44,237 --> 00:17:45,542
It's so stupid!
436
00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:47,892
Maybe. And then he's like,
437
00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:49,633
"Well, if you
don't have time for me,
438
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:51,592
"then why are we together?"
439
00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:53,637
That's actually
a good question, Stacy.
440
00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:56,684
I can't go through school
all over again.
441
00:17:56,727 --> 00:17:58,773
I can't start a career again.
442
00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:00,470
But I can always find
another guy.
443
00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:04,039
Well, just so
you know, sweetheart,
444
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:07,608
there's a big difference
between finding another guy
445
00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:09,218
and finding another good guy.
446
00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:12,526
Yo, Gigi done left yet?
447
00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:13,701
Yes, Ali.
448
00:18:13,744 --> 00:18:14,745
Oh...
449
00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:24,625
Hey, babe.
450
00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:28,368
How did it go with Lindsey?
451
00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:30,283
It was good.
452
00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:34,287
How'd it go with the play?
453
00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:37,203
Everybody was talking
about how good Kevin was.
454
00:18:37,246 --> 00:18:40,641
They were like, "You got the
next Denzel on your hands."
455
00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:42,686
I filmed it with his flip cams.
456
00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:45,167
He'll be showing you
over and over
457
00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:47,474
and over again, my sister.
458
00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:50,955
Baby...
459
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:52,348
I want to say thank you for all
460
00:18:52,392 --> 00:18:54,133
that you've done this week.
461
00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:56,961
I wouldn't have been able
to do it without you.
462
00:18:57,005 --> 00:18:59,486
See, now you're just being nice.
463
00:18:59,529 --> 00:19:01,183
All right, 'cause you
were doing it
464
00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:02,837
without me when I met you.
465
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,361
I'm pretty sure you can
handle yourself now.
466
00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:08,364
Nick, what's bothering you?
467
00:19:09,322 --> 00:19:11,324
Me? Nothing.
468
00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:13,064
I'm cool.
469
00:19:13,108 --> 00:19:14,240
No, you're not.
470
00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:16,155
Yes, I am.
471
00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:18,548
Okay,
472
00:19:18,592 --> 00:19:22,596
then why haven't you
signed the insurance papers?
473
00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:23,858
What is the rush?
474
00:19:23,901 --> 00:19:25,555
It's just that
it's been three days,
475
00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:26,861
and you're not dead yet,
476
00:19:26,904 --> 00:19:29,255
so I figured there must be
some other reason
477
00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:30,691
you don't want life insurance.
478
00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:33,128
Why you always be trying
to break people down?
479
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,086
Because I love you
and I want the truth.
480
00:19:35,478 --> 00:19:36,740
All right.
481
00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:39,874
Okay.
482
00:19:42,790 --> 00:19:46,750
Baby, I would do anything
for you and the kids,
483
00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:50,624
including risk my life to
get life insurance, all right?
484
00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:53,583
But when you're sitting there,
485
00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:56,195
and somebody's telling you
that your woman is worth
486
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:58,501
a quarter of a million
dollars more than you,
487
00:19:58,545 --> 00:19:59,720
I was like, "Whoa."
488
00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:00,982
Really?
489
00:20:01,025 --> 00:20:02,331
Really what?
490
00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:04,768
You're freaking out
over a computer estimate?
491
00:20:04,812 --> 00:20:06,030
Well, how would you feel
492
00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:07,554
if your worth was estimated
493
00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:09,947
at a quarter of a million
dollars less than mine?
494
00:20:09,991 --> 00:20:11,775
I'd be like, "Yo,
you got me, right?"
495
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:16,563
Come on, it's not the same.
I'm supposed to get you.
496
00:20:16,606 --> 00:20:19,348
Oh, but I'm not supposed
to get you.
497
00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:22,177
It's not a competition, Nick.
498
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,483
That's 'cause you winning.
499
00:20:24,701 --> 00:20:27,965
Yes. Yes, I am.
500
00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:31,752
But I'm not winning because I
have a better life insurance quote.
501
00:20:31,795 --> 00:20:34,450
I'm winning because
I have a better life,
502
00:20:34,494 --> 00:20:36,365
and that's because I've got you.
503
00:20:37,845 --> 00:20:42,763
So, are you saying you
got me, or you got me?
504
00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:45,505
Both.
505
00:20:47,028 --> 00:20:49,248
Now, will you please
sign the papers?
506
00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:52,599
I'll do it tomorrow.
507
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:56,037
Good, 'cause you
ain't worth nothing
508
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,430
if you messing with my money.
509
00:20:59,519 --> 00:21:00,607
Turn on the game.
510
00:21:00,650 --> 00:21:01,912
Yes, Ma'am.
36891
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