Original subtitles

Hey, Dad. Hey, man.

How was school? It was all right.

Something wrong?

Well, there's just this, uh...

This girl at school, Taylor...

Oh. Oh!

You are having a little lady trouble, huh?

Yeah, well, that's just it.

I don't know if I am or if I'm not.

I mean, I think she likes me.

But if she does and I don't do anything, I'm gonna mess up.

If she doesn't, and I do something stupid,

I'm gonna look like a fool.

Kev, Kevin.

I know where you're coming from, man.

Look, I went through this with your mother.

Uh, I kind of liked her,

but I didn't think she liked me.

I did what I thought was the right thing,

but I ended up doing everything wrong.

But turned out all right.

You know what I'm saying?

No.

No. Listen, listen, listen. Okay.

Start with this.

Talk to her. All right?

If she keeps talking to you, keep talking.

Just like that? Just like that.

A girl who is not interested in you

will not keep talking to you.

Oh! Yeah.

Okay. Told you. I'm giving you the secrets.

Yes.

Hey, Dad.

Watching the game, huh?

Trying to.

Who's playing? All right.

There. What's going on, Lindsey? What?

Okay. Well.

Kelly's birthday's Saturday, and I know it's kinda last minute,

but she really, really wants me to come,

and I really, really want to go.

So, I was wondering, can I?

When is it? Next Saturday.

Where? In San Francisco.

Tell her to be safe and have fun.

Dad, come on, you have to let me go.

No, I don't.

It won't even cost you anything.

I know, 'cause you ain't going.

Argh!

What did your mother say?

See, that's the thing. I need you to ask her.

Wait, you're asking me. Why don't you ask her?

She'll say no.

She tells me no as much as she tells you no.

And I pay bills.

Dad, please.

At least, she'll listen if you ask.

She'll just stare at me like I'm crazy.

Same here.

Dad!

♪ Are we there yet?

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me

♪ Tell me, are we there yet?

♪ Are we there yet?

You would not believe the day that I've had.

Hey, baby.Okay.

Gigi is my best friend and I love her to death,

but sometimes that woman drives me crazy.

Hey, baby, you know how Gigi is.

Look, I don't even know what she did,

but why don't you just let it go?

Nick, she waited until the last minute

to order these flowers for the wedding,

and now, we have to pay a rush charge.

Well, you've got funds for that.

I mean, why don't you just use it?

Because we're not supposed to have to.

Like, you know, and then Gigi tells me

that she has to leave early three days this week.

Hey, you're the boss. Why don't you just tell her she can't?

What are you, Nick-opedia?

You have an answer for everything.

Baby, I'm just trying to help you.

No. If that were true,

you would stop trying to get rid of me.

I just need you to listen.

Baby, I am not trying to get rid of you.

Okay? Look. Here.

TV off. All right? Bam!

Problem solved.

If you want me to listen, I am listening.

Uh-huh. You know what?

Just watch your funky old game.

I don't wanna stand here trying to talk to somebody

who has no interest

in hearing anything I have to say.

Baby. Oh!

Suzanne, look, I want you to talk.

Look, I want to listen. But you just have to say something.

Oh, you don't wanna hear what I have to say.

Baby, the game was...

Morning.

Morning. Um...

Hey, the, uh...

The garbage disposal is acting up again.

Really? That's crazy.

Well, can you fix it?

I don't think that would be such a good idea.

Okay. Why not?

Because that would be solving your problem.

And I don't wanna be accused

of solving your problems.

Especially when all you want me to do is listen.

Are you serious? Yeah.

Because I love you.

And I want you to be happy.

So, if the best way for me to help you

is to do nothing and keep my mouth shut,

then that's what I'm gonna do, baby.

Fine. I will call the plumber.

Would you hand me my work bag, please?

Wow. You're unbelievable.

You got that right.

Love you.

I might just call a locksmith, too, Nick.

Dude, here she is.

Which one?

The one in the pink.

She's no Helen Mirren, but I get it.

Who's Helen Mirren?

I'm gonna act like I didn't hear that.

So, are you gonna talk to her

or just stand here and stare at her

like she's Jermaine Jackson's hair?

Um, I don't know what to say.

I mean, my dad said if I talk to her and she keeps talking,

it's all good, but he didn't tell me how to start the conversation.

What are you, 12?

Just say hello.

"Hey, Taylor, I'm Troy."

But you're probably gonna wanna use your own name.

Right, right. Okay.

Hey, you're Kevin, right?

Uh, yeah, you know me?

Yeah, you're Dad's on TV, right?

Oh, yeah, he does this, this sports thing.

See, I told you.

Well, I'll talk to you later, Kevin.

Uh, okay.

I-I like your boots.

Yeah, real smooth. Real smooth.

What? I mean, she said she'd talk to me later.

This is easier than I thought it was gonna be.

So, she's into you. That's just the beginning.

Now, you have to buy her something.

How do you know so much about girls?

Movies, Internet, and Jerry Springer.

Oh, yeah. How else?

Kevin, could you please pass the salt?

Lindsey, could you pass the salt?

Mom, can you pass the salt?

Here.

Thanks. Here.

Thanks. Here.

Thanks.

So, Mom,

you think we can go back down to San Francisco sometime?

What for?

Oh, I don't know. I mean,

I Just think it's like a really cool city.

You know, if I had the chance, I would totally wanna go.

Lindsey, did I ever show you that feed

that I'm following on Twitter?

Which one?

It's the one with all the little sayings.

You know, I saw one that said,

"The key to success is timing."

I saw one that said,

"In order to get the answer, you have to ask the question."

Well, I saw another one that said,

"Patience is a virtue."

I saw one that said,

"Don't wait for it to happen, make it happen."

Man, you guys read a lot of tweets, huh?

That's because we can read.

So, um, Dad,

do you remember the first gift you gave Mom?

Hmm...

Flowers, I think.

Did you like them? No.

Because that's not the first thing your father gave me.

Why do you want to know?

Well, 'cause I kinda have a crush on this girl at school.

I'm thinking of getting her something.

And she talked to me yesterday for the first time.

My man.

Well, what did she say?

She said she'll talk to me later.

Kevin, if you really wanna impress this girl,

you don't have to give her anything.

But when she talks to you,

listen.

Here she comes.

So, just remember, chin down, bear up.

Get in there.

Hey, Kevin Kingston-Persons.

Hey, Taylor. So what, what's been going on?

Nothing.

I saw your dad on the Internet last night.

You did?

Yeah, he was talking about sports and stuff.

Yeah, that's kinda what he does.

Cool. Hey, you think you can do something for me?

Uh, yeah. Yeah.

My mom is a like a huge fan of your dad's.

Do you think you can get me an autographed picture for her?

Uh, uh, sure.

Cool. I'll talk to you later.

Oh, um, Taylor,

I-I-I got you something.

Oh, that's so sweet.

Awesome job. Wh-what just happened?

Dude, I don't know,

but there's gotta be a movie where this happened to somebody,

and I'm gonna go online,

I'm gonna find out who it is.

Morning.Morning.

Gigi, can we talk? Me first.

I just wanna apologize about the other day.

I should have paid attention to the schedule.

I just lost track of a few things

and it snowballed after that.

I'm sorry, and it won't happen again.

Well, I'm sorry for how I reacted.

I mean, it wasn't entirely your fault.

This wedding is just hard.

Okay.Okay.

Oh.

All right.

Now that we're okay... Mm-hmm.

...what is going on between you and Nick?

What do you mean? No "what do you mean".

He just called here to ask me to ask you

where the check book is.

What's the problem?

We're not speaking.

Why not?

Okay, well,

it started the other day

after you and I got into it.

I went home and I was trying to tell him all about it,

and he was all like, "Why don't you just do this?"

And, "Why don't you just do that?"

I was like, "Why am I talking to you

"if you're not even interested in listening to me?"

And it's frustrating.

Sometimes I just need him

to sit there and nod,

and say, "I get it."

I get it. See?

What? See how you did that right there?

That was perfect. What'd I do?

I get it. Oh, yes.

Yeah. I mean, I get it.

I know, because I'm your friend.

And that's what friends are for.

Don't you dare.

See, we talk about it all the time.

You know and I know

that your man just doesn't wanna sit there

and listen to your problems.

I mean, you remember that TV show

where the guy, the guy saves everybody in one day?

Jack Bauer, 24.Right.

Now what if he was just listening?

"Jack, they're about to kill the president!"

"Oh, really?"

"Jack, there's a dirty bomb!"

"Oh, you don't say."

"Jack, there's a virus in the water

"and it's gonna kill the entire city!"

"What?"

I mean, come on!

You know what it would have been called had he done that?

1.Because one minute you're listening,

and the next minute, you dead.

I mean, Zee, you want a man who's gonna listen,

or you want a man who's gonna do something?

You're right.

Okay. Call Nick,

and tell him that the check book is in the desk drawer.

So, you're really not gonna talk to Nick?

No.

I wanna see if he'll talk to me first.

You know, I bet this doesn't even bother him.

Okay, that's where you're wrong.

'Cause I bet you right now he is with Martin,

doing the same thing we're doing,

trying to figure it all out.

Should we get that?

Yeah, I'll just let it go to voicemail.

You and Suzanne still not talking?

Yeah.

Well, look, 24is on.

Nice.

Hey, Dad. Hey, Lindsey.

So, have you asked her yet?

Uh, no, not yet.

Excuse me.

Are you guys fighting?

Lindsey,

it's not a big deal, all right?

I mean, couples go through this all the time.

Your mother and I... Dad!

I really don't care why you and Mom are fighting.

I just want you two to kiss and make up long enough

so you can ask her if I can go to San Francisco.

After that, you two can keep on fighting

until I need you to buy me a car.

So, that's it?

I mean, you really don't care about what's going on with me?

I care about what's going on with you.

Just not as much as I care about what's going on with me.

I have a problem and I need you to solve it.

You know what?

I'm about to make an executive decision.

Tell Kelly you can go.

Are you serious?

Bam! Problem solved.

Baby,

can we talk?

I'm listening.

I'm sorry about what happened the other day.

Look, I don't wanna fight.

I was just trying to help.

I know.

Look, to me, it's like you had a bad day at work,

and, you know, things just got out of hand.

Well,

actually, that's not really the reason we were fighting.

We were fighting because I had a bad day at work,

I tried to tell you about it,

you tried to fix it instead of listening.

Ah. I get it.

Good job.

You noticed? Mm-hmm.

Oh, good. That was awesome.

You like that? Mmm-hmm.

Oh. Uh, just so you know,

Lindsey is going to San Francisco with Kelly

next weekend for her birthday.

Since when?

Since I gave her permission.

It's okay. Kelly's family's paying for everything.

Nick, Lindsey has

her SAT prep course next weekend.

Ah! I didn't know about that.

Apparently.

Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this trip?

Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this test?

I told you about this four months ago.

Obviously, you weren't listening.

Even if I was,

uh, four months ago?

Wait, you expect me

to remember something you told me four months ago?

Yes. If it's important.

It's not like she takes the SAT every week.

Well, if it's that important,

maybe you should've told me more than once every four months.

Come on, Suzanne,

I mean, you could have said something.

Why would I when you don't listen?

Hey, Kevin Kingston-Persons.

Hey, Taylor.

Did you get that picture? Yes, I did. I did.

Thank you.

You think maybe some time I can go down to the station

and see your dad work?

I have to check with him.

Cool. Oh, Taylor, um...

Hey, do you wanna come over sometime?

Maybe we can play video games or something?

I don't really play video games.

Oh, well, we could just watch some TV.

Or-or we could talk.

Or you could talk and I could listen.

Oh, that's so sweet.

I'll let you know. Okay?

Okay.

Let me know what your dad says about the station.

I will.

Man, this is way above my pay grade.

Hey, Dad. Hey, man.

Um, do you think maybe one day

I could bring someone down to the station to watch you work?

How's that going?

I don't know. Good, I think.

I mean, I asked her if she'll come over one day.

I said we could watch TV, or maybe we could just talk.

Mm-hmm, talk. I bet she'd like that.

Yeah, she said, "That's so sweet."

What?

I asked her if she'll come over, and if she wanted to,

we could talk and I can just listen,

and she said, "That's so sweet."

Oh, man.

Uh...

Why don't you sit down, Kev?

Okay.

Wow. Uh...

You know, I don't know how I'm gonna break this to you, bruh,

but, um... What?

She doesn't like you. All right?

I mean, at least not the way you like her.

But how do you know? She said she will come over.

Did she say she will come over,

or did she say it was sweet that you asked?

This doesn't make any sense.

Okay, I didn't tell you this,

but the other day, I got her a stuffed bear.

Yeah? And what'd she say about that?

"Oh, that's so sweet."

Exactly.

Kevin, look.

Anytime, you ever get a girl a gift,

and all she says is,

"Oh, that's so sweet,"

that's her polite way of saying,

"It is never gonna happen."

I thought when you get a girl a gift, they're supposed to like you.

Where'd you get that idea?

Diddy, Jay-Z, Beyonce, Donald Trump, Nicki Minaj,

the Basketball Wives,

The Real Housewives of Atlanta, The Real Housewives of Miami,

The Real Housewives of... Kevin! Kevin!

Listen, if a girl likes you for what you can give her,

she's not gonna like you for you.

And trust me, that is not the girl you want.

So, what now?

Welcome to being a dude.

Hey, Kevin Kingston-Persons.

Hey, Taylor.

Did you ask your dad if I can come to the TV station?

Didn't get a chance.Oh.

Well, maybe I can come by your house after school or something

and you can ask him then?

You wanna come by? Yeah.

Is your dad going to be there?

All right, listen, Taylor,

if you wanna come over so you can hang out with me, cool,

but if you wanna come over so I can ask my dad if you can come to the station,

forget about it.

Oh, I guess I could come by.

You don't have to guess. Okay?

I know you can come over.

I'm just trying to figure out why you want to.

All right, forget about it then.

Forget you, forgot you, never thought about you!

Yeah, what he said! Yeah!

Wait, where'd you pick that from?

Springer, man. I'm gonna go see if I can get your bear back.

Baby, I don't like this.

But, I don't know what to do or say to fix it,

because me trying to fix it

is what's got us here in the first place.

Look,

can you help me help you help us?

'Cause I don't wanna fight anymore.

Honey, I appreciate the fact

that you wanna fix my problems,

but sometimes, what I need

is for you not to do that.

But sometimes you need me to fix it.

I mean, how am I supposed to know the difference?

Well, you don't.

So, listen.

And if I end up saying,

"Hey, aren't you gonna do something?"

Then do something.

But by then, it'll be too late

and you'll be mad at me again.

I know. It's crazy, right?

Do white women do this?

You better not find out.

Mm-hmm.

I love you. I love you.

Let's go upstairs and listen.

Yeah.