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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,874 --> 00:00:05,918 Hello, Nick. 2 00:00:05,962 --> 00:00:07,616 Hey, Mr. Peterson. 3 00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:09,313 I wanted to talk to you about a... 4 00:00:09,357 --> 00:00:12,708 "You scratch my back, I scratch your back" situation. 5 00:00:12,751 --> 00:00:13,970 Okay, well, I'm listening. 6 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,885 I know. I can see that. Can I finish? 7 00:00:17,582 --> 00:00:19,715 What would you do for two tickets 8 00:00:19,758 --> 00:00:21,195 to the Mariners' home opener? 9 00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:24,633 Anything, as long as you don't film it. 10 00:00:25,416 --> 00:00:27,636 Excellent. Okay, great. 11 00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:29,768 Expect Toby Palmer, first thing in the morning. 12 00:00:29,812 --> 00:00:32,554 Wait, wait, wait... Whoa, whoa. Expect who to do what? 13 00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:34,251 Nick, get with the program. 14 00:00:34,295 --> 00:00:35,992 Toby Palmer is the friend 15 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:39,517 of a golfing buddy of the president of the network. 16 00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:41,171 Oh, you didn't say all that. 17 00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:42,520 I just did say all that. 18 00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:45,088 Look, the point is, Toby Palmer, 19 00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:46,307 he's having a rough go of it right now, 20 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:48,874 so I'm bringing him in as your new assistant. 21 00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:51,790 So, I get an assistant and Mariners tickets? 22 00:00:51,834 --> 00:00:54,445 No. You get an assistant. 23 00:00:54,489 --> 00:00:56,273 I get the Mariners tickets. 24 00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:59,581 So, if I'm scratching your back by taking the assistant, 25 00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:01,148 you're scratching my back how? 26 00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:02,714 I'm not. 27 00:01:02,758 --> 00:01:05,152 I'm scratching the back of the network president 28 00:01:05,195 --> 00:01:06,762 by hiring his buddy, 29 00:01:06,805 --> 00:01:09,112 and he's scratching mine by giving me Mariner's tickets. 30 00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:10,940 So, nobody's scratching my back? 31 00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:13,682 Nobody cares that my back is all itchy? 32 00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:15,597 Well, uh, you have a new assistant. 33 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:16,946 Have him scratch your back. 34 00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:18,556 Mr. Peterson... 35 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,995 ♪ Are we there yet? 36 00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:26,390 ♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me 37 00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:28,305 ♪ Tell me, are we there yet? 38 00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:30,133 ♪ Are we there yet? 39 00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:40,578 I don't see why I have to be the one to babysit this guy. 40 00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:42,014 I don't want an assistant. 41 00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:43,581 One minute they're getting you coffee, 42 00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:45,192 and the next minute they're all up in your business. 43 00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:46,845 Sweetheart, 44 00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:49,413 just start with coffee and sandwiches and see how it goes. 45 00:01:57,726 --> 00:01:59,249 You okay? 46 00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:00,772 Yeah, I'm fine. Why? 47 00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:03,601 'Cause you're sniffling and making a "Krch! Krch!" sound. 48 00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:04,950 Are you sick? 49 00:02:04,994 --> 00:02:06,343 Must me some... 50 00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:08,867 Some dust in the air or something. 51 00:02:08,911 --> 00:02:10,782 Okay, Mom, but if you are sick, 52 00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:12,175 I don't think it's a good idea 53 00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:13,785 for you to make brownies for my bake sale. 54 00:02:13,829 --> 00:02:14,873 I mean, we can just pick them up 55 00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:16,484 from the store or something. 56 00:02:16,527 --> 00:02:18,921 One, I'm not sick. 57 00:02:18,964 --> 00:02:21,576 Two, everything has to be homemade, 58 00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:25,014 and three, your teacher is expecting my triple-chocolate, 59 00:02:25,057 --> 00:02:26,711 triple-moist brownies. 60 00:02:26,755 --> 00:02:28,322 They were a huge hit last year. 61 00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:29,758 Mom... 62 00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:31,629 Are you sure you're not catching a cold? 63 00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:33,327 'Cause that sounds like a cold. 64 00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,981 No, it's just allergies. 65 00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:41,073 Okay, maybe we should pick you up some allergy medicine. 66 00:02:41,117 --> 00:02:43,598 I don't need allergy medicine, okay? 67 00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:45,165 I'll be fine. 68 00:02:49,212 --> 00:02:50,431 Bon Appetit. 69 00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:53,956 Don't eat that. 70 00:03:09,101 --> 00:03:10,407 Can I help you? 71 00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:12,235 Mr. Kingston-Persons, 72 00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:14,281 I'm Toby Palmer, your new assistant. 73 00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:17,893 Oh, yeah, yeah. Nice to meet you. All right. 74 00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:20,678 Is there anything I can do for you? 75 00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,593 Uh, you know, just a second. 76 00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:25,074 You know, somebody parked in my parking space, 77 00:03:25,117 --> 00:03:26,945 and that always throws me off. 78 00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:28,425 I can imagine.Hmm. 79 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,213 Hey, uh, look, man. 80 00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:35,737 I'm kind of new to this whole assistant thing. 81 00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:38,348 And I'm gonna need you to kind of chill 82 00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:41,177 until I can figure out what it is I need for you to do. 83 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,571 I'm chillin'. I'm just waiting for you to settle in. 84 00:03:43,614 --> 00:03:45,094 FYI, I came in early and printed out 85 00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:46,922 the scores for you from last night.Hmm. 86 00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:50,708 I also had research compile a highlight reel for you. 87 00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:52,188 I went over your prompter 88 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:55,104 and got you a nice Red Eye. 89 00:03:55,147 --> 00:03:57,628 Oh, oh, okay, thanks. 90 00:03:57,672 --> 00:03:59,021 Toby. 91 00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:00,979 Toby. All right. 92 00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:02,720 Anything else? 93 00:04:02,764 --> 00:04:04,505 Uh, you know what? 94 00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:06,376 Yeah, there is, um, 95 00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:07,943 why don't you find the guy 96 00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:09,510 who parked in my parking space 97 00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:11,512 and put a brick through his window. 98 00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,601 You got it. Which parking space is yours? 99 00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:14,776 Forty three. 100 00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,299 Oh, um... 101 00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:19,563 How about no brick this time? 102 00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:21,261 But I'll find him, and I'll, uh... 103 00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:22,479 I'll have that car moved. 104 00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:24,307 Okay, hey, but remember, 105 00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,483 next time, brick through the window. 106 00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:27,919 Big ol' brick. All right. 107 00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:37,320 Can I get you ladies anything else? 108 00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:39,453 Yeah, can you turn on the air? 109 00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:41,542 It's like a sauna in here. 110 00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:43,674 No, it's not. Are you getting sick? 111 00:04:43,718 --> 00:04:47,156 No, I don't get sick. I'm just hot, okay? 112 00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:48,766 Ah. 113 00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:50,377 Gigi, anything for you? 114 00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:52,161 Oh, yes, I need you to pick me up this Friday at 8:00 115 00:04:52,204 --> 00:04:54,772 to take me to a party and some ketchup, please. 116 00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:56,905 Well, here's the ketchup. 117 00:04:56,948 --> 00:04:58,863 And as far as taking you to a party goes, 118 00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:01,126 I'm sorry, but my sucker license expired about a month ago. 119 00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:02,824 Oh, come on, Martin. 120 00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:05,435 I need you to go with me. It's an ex party. 121 00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:06,915 An ex party? What is that? 122 00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,699 Ugh, you know, one of those parties 123 00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:10,222 where everybody brings an ex. 124 00:05:10,266 --> 00:05:11,963 Her loss could be your gain. 125 00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,138 Oh, I get it. 126 00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:14,357 So you take me to a party... Uh-huh. 127 00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:15,967 ...and you tell everyone that I suck. 128 00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:17,534 No, thank you. 129 00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:19,319 I get told that enough without making a special trip for it. 130 00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:21,756 Come on, Martin, you have to look at the big picture. 131 00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:24,280 Enough about the big picture. Let's talk little picture. 132 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,803 Mm-hmm. Who's the guy? 133 00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:30,242 Richard Barry. 6'2", former athlete, entrepreneur. 134 00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:33,158 Ooh! He's been off the market for a year, but... 135 00:05:33,202 --> 00:05:35,073 Ooh. 136 00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:38,773 Yeah, well, his ex is friends with a woman I know, 137 00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:41,645 and she told me that he had a thing for Gigi, 138 00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:43,865 but, you know, it was before he settled for his ex. 139 00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:45,345 Mm-hmm, and of course, it didn't work out, 140 00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:47,390 because, well, she wasn't me. 141 00:05:48,522 --> 00:05:50,741 Well, as much as I would love 142 00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:52,221 to help you, no can do. 143 00:05:52,264 --> 00:05:53,831 I have a date that night. 144 00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:56,094 Her name is Lexi, and it is about to be closing time. 145 00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:00,229 If you're gonna keep doing that, 146 00:06:00,272 --> 00:06:01,709 I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. 147 00:06:01,752 --> 00:06:03,275 I don't want you getting the whole bar sick. 148 00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:05,016 I am not sick, okay? 149 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:06,409 It's allergies... 150 00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,416 Good morning, everybody. 151 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:14,765 Hey, dad. Good morning. 152 00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:16,201 Morning, Nick. 153 00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:18,421 Toby, what are you doing here? 154 00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:22,773 Oh, Toby brought us a pastry basket. 155 00:06:22,817 --> 00:06:24,819 Wow. How did you know where I live? 156 00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:26,647 Oh, I followed you home last night. 157 00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:30,390 You what? I'm kidding. 158 00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:33,218 I'm your assistant. How can I not know where you live? 159 00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:34,872 Your business is my business. 160 00:06:36,004 --> 00:06:37,484 Anyway, sit, eat. 161 00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:44,229 Sweetheart, can you pass me a napkin? 162 00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:48,451 Uh, Mom, you don't sound so good. 163 00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:52,281 You know, a little cayenne pepper in your tea 164 00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:54,849 will dry those mucus membranes right up. 165 00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:57,721 Okay, can we not talk about mucus at the table, please? 166 00:06:57,765 --> 00:06:59,767 I'm sorry. Have a scone. 167 00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:03,901 Do black people even eat scones? 168 00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:05,990 Of course you do. You guys call them biscuits. 169 00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:13,476 So, in England, can you get, like, a bacon, egg, and cheese scone? 170 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,565 Like, a McScone? 171 00:07:15,609 --> 00:07:17,349 Actually, funny you should ask. 172 00:07:17,393 --> 00:07:20,222 Hey, you know what? We really got to get going. 173 00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:22,833 Uh, why don't you get the car started, I'll get the keys. 174 00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:24,487 Hey, got 'em. 175 00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:27,142 I'm gonna get that car started. Enjoy breakfast, guys. 176 00:07:27,185 --> 00:07:28,839 Thank you, Toby. See ya. 177 00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:30,711 See ya later. I'll see ya out there in a minute. 178 00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:32,103 Okay, enjoy your scones. 179 00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,627 Thanks. 180 00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:37,979 That's not a little weird to you? 181 00:07:38,022 --> 00:07:39,154 No. 182 00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:40,677 Baby, he brought breakfast. 183 00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,810 That's not weird that's thoughtful. 184 00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:44,899 Yeah, okay, thoughtful. 185 00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:47,118 That dude reminds me of the crazy person 186 00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:48,946 in every movie with a stalker. 187 00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:51,122 Misery, Fear, Obsessed, 188 00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:53,081 One Hour Photo, Fatal Attraction, 189 00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:55,779 Single White Female, Vanilla Sky, Swimfan. 190 00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:57,085 Ooh, I love that movie. 191 00:07:57,128 --> 00:07:59,043 Nick, what is your point? 192 00:07:59,087 --> 00:08:01,089 My point is, it starts with scones, 193 00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:02,482 and it ends up with somebody 194 00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:04,179 handcuffed to a chair in a pool. 195 00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:06,834 Listen, Nick... 196 00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:11,186 All I'm saying is that it is better to have an assistant 197 00:08:11,229 --> 00:08:14,406 who does too much than one who does too little. 198 00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:17,801 I am not sick! 199 00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:21,936 Lindsey, uh... 200 00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:24,678 Go to the drugstore and pick up your mother some cold medicine. 201 00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:25,853 Don't need it. 202 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:27,942 See you guys later. 203 00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:29,247 Bye, dad. SUZANNE: Bye, honey. 204 00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:32,163 Ugh, Kevin, 205 00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:34,862 we'll bake your brownies later on this week, okay? 206 00:08:34,905 --> 00:08:35,950 Okay, Mom. 207 00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:41,651 No. What am I gonna do? 208 00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:43,218 I cannot let her bake brownies. 209 00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:44,524 I don't want to be responsible 210 00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:46,090 for the outbreak of the century. 211 00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:47,875 Okay, look, I don't usually offer this, 212 00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:50,530 but since it's an emergency, I'll bake them. 213 00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:53,228 Right, I want brownies, not blackies. 214 00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:00,191 I mean, you're not the only one with problems. 215 00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:03,281 At least you know where yours are coming from. 216 00:09:03,325 --> 00:09:06,502 So, Lexi canceled on you. Why? 217 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,591 That's what I wanted to know, so I called her. 218 00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:09,897 She won't talk to me. 219 00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:11,638 So, I said, "Fine, she's a flake, I'll move on." 220 00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:13,248 I go to the girl in second position. 221 00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:14,554 She won't go out with me either. 222 00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:16,033 She said she saw me on one of those 223 00:09:16,077 --> 00:09:18,035 "Don't date this guy" websites. 224 00:09:18,079 --> 00:09:20,603 So, I look it up. Sure enough, there's my face, 225 00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:23,998 big red line through it, the word "warning" flashing underneath. 226 00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:25,695 What? You? 227 00:09:25,739 --> 00:09:27,784 Oh, no, that's crazy. Not you, not you. 228 00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:29,351 Right? 229 00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:31,614 I haven't felt this alone since... 230 00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,529 Since Michael Jackson died. 231 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,488 Yeah, man. You cried more than Blanket. 232 00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:38,360 What's up with that? 233 00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:40,536 He provided the soundtrack to my youth. 234 00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:43,495 So, do you know who put you on there? 235 00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:45,976 Eh? Some girl named Fifi. 236 00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:48,631 The thing is, I've never dated a girl named Fifi, 237 00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:50,502 or if I did, she wasn't memorable. 238 00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:52,896 And you wonder why you're on the list. 239 00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:55,377 All I know is, I got to find out who this girl is, 240 00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:57,205 get her to take me off that website. 241 00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:58,772 I mean, if none of the girls in town will touch me, 242 00:09:58,815 --> 00:10:00,512 what am I gonna do with myself? 243 00:10:06,997 --> 00:10:08,520 Uh-uh, don't drink that. 244 00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:10,087 Why? 245 00:10:10,131 --> 00:10:11,611 I got you a coffee right here. 246 00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:13,525 Whoa, what happened to you? 247 00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:15,658 Crazy story. 248 00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:18,661 So, I didn't take my car, right? I took yours, 249 00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,271 because my parking space 250 00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:22,012 is, like, way on the other side of everything. 251 00:10:22,056 --> 00:10:24,406 And you know how I put that sign up over your spot? 252 00:10:24,449 --> 00:10:27,322 It's like, okay, parking spot, done deal, right? 253 00:10:27,365 --> 00:10:28,671 You took my car? 254 00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:30,586 Wait, here's the kicker. 255 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,328 So, I got your coffee and mine, which I'm sipping. 256 00:10:33,371 --> 00:10:35,330 I'm about to swing back into your spot, 257 00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:37,288 and, whoa! Slam the brakes! 258 00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:39,377 Some jack-hole parked in your spot. 259 00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:43,294 And then, splash, coffee all over everything. 260 00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:45,470 Anyway, I remember what you said, 261 00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:48,169 so I "did" what needed to be done. 262 00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:50,301 And then I parked in the visitor spots. 263 00:10:50,345 --> 00:10:52,434 And now that you have the cafe in your hand, 264 00:10:52,477 --> 00:10:54,697 I'm gonna take your car to go get detailed. 265 00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:56,177 Whoa, whoa, no, no. 266 00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:58,832 What did you do that needed to be done? 267 00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:01,051 I threw a brick through the jack-hole's window 268 00:11:01,095 --> 00:11:02,923 like you said when I parked in your spot. 269 00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:04,664 That was you? 270 00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:05,839 Yeah, sorry. 271 00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:07,318 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 272 00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:10,278 You threw a brick through somebody's car window? 273 00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:11,583 Low and on the outside. 274 00:11:11,627 --> 00:11:13,716 Strike! 275 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,327 Then I had him towed. You're outta here! 276 00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:17,633 What? Who? 277 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,548 Nick! Nick! 278 00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:22,072 Nick, buddy, call security. I think I got a stalker. 279 00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:23,726 What? 280 00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:24,858 Some crazy threw a brick through the window of my Porsche, 281 00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:26,120 and now they're towing it. 282 00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:27,730 What the hell is happening? It's a Porsche. 283 00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,340 You can't do that to a Porsche. 284 00:11:29,384 --> 00:11:31,821 How about you pound a kielbasa and a couple of cold ones? 285 00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:33,693 It's a hottie and a young one. 286 00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:37,348 Toby! 287 00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:39,089 Toby! 288 00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:44,704 Thanks for helping me out, Marilyn. 289 00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:45,835 Still don't know why you called me. 290 00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,445 I mean, why can't your mother do this? 291 00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:49,709 Well, she has a cold, but she doesn't want to admit it. 292 00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:51,972 Hello! 293 00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:53,495 Oh, snap, that's them! 294 00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:55,018 They weren't supposed to be home for another hour! 295 00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:56,411 Hide this! Hide! 296 00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:02,156 Hey. 297 00:12:02,199 --> 00:12:03,505 Hey, guys. 298 00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:05,637 Phew! 299 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,162 Where's Lindsey? 300 00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:10,773 Oh, she's upstairs. She's not home. She's upstairs. 301 00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:13,602 Wait, is she not home or is she upstairs? 302 00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:15,386 Well, she wasn't home. She's home now. 303 00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:16,823 She's upstairs. Kevin didn't see her. 304 00:12:18,389 --> 00:12:20,261 So, what have you guys been up to? 305 00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:22,089 Nothing! 306 00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:23,655 Mmm, it smells good in here. 307 00:12:23,699 --> 00:12:24,961 Mmm. 308 00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:26,920 Really? I don't smell anything. 309 00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,270 Uh... 310 00:12:29,313 --> 00:12:32,534 Uh, hey, maybe it's your perfume, baby, you know? 311 00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:34,449 You can't smell it 312 00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:35,972 'cause you've been wearing it all day. 313 00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:38,148 Honey, I'm not wearing any perfume. 314 00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:41,325 Uh, well, whatever it is, it smells good. 315 00:12:41,369 --> 00:12:42,805 Mmm. 316 00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:45,329 Oh, maybe it's my new bath oil. 317 00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:47,767 But I can't believe you've been with me this whole time 318 00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:49,246 and you're just smelling it now? 319 00:12:49,290 --> 00:12:51,205 Ooh, me either. 320 00:12:51,248 --> 00:12:54,251 Why don't you go upstairs and run yourself a bath 321 00:12:54,295 --> 00:12:56,123 and get it going fresh? 322 00:12:56,166 --> 00:12:59,822 Ooh! Sookie-Sookie now! 323 00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:05,088 All of a sudden, you're not worried about my "cold." 324 00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:09,266 Ooh, smelling like that, you can give me whatever you got. 325 00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:18,058 Okay, baby, why don't you go on upstairs, 326 00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:19,668 and I'll be up there in a minute. 327 00:13:19,711 --> 00:13:22,062 Run that bath, girl. You run that bath. Yes. 328 00:13:27,371 --> 00:13:29,330 What is wrong with you, man? 329 00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,288 If you're gonna be sneaking around people's backs, 330 00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:32,855 doing stuff they're not supposed to know about, 331 00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:34,465 you need to tell somebody. 332 00:13:35,727 --> 00:13:37,251 So, where are you going? 333 00:13:37,294 --> 00:13:38,948 I'm going to get some vitamin C, 334 00:13:38,992 --> 00:13:41,516 some vapor rub, some Echinacea, and some rubber gloves. 335 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,257 That chick is not getting me sick. 336 00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:56,966 Thank you. 337 00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:00,448 Psst. 338 00:14:00,491 --> 00:14:01,710 Nick. 339 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,368 Toby? What are you doing? 340 00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:09,283 Don't say my name. 341 00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:10,588 Don't look directly at me. 342 00:14:10,632 --> 00:14:12,460 Here, eat something. 343 00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:16,333 I'm sorry I'm late. 344 00:14:16,377 --> 00:14:19,162 I've been going through a lot of personal stuff lately. 345 00:14:19,206 --> 00:14:20,555 I didn't mention it, 346 00:14:20,598 --> 00:14:22,644 but my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. 347 00:14:22,687 --> 00:14:24,080 Oh, man. What happened? 348 00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,168 She's dead. 349 00:14:25,212 --> 00:14:27,083 What? To me. 350 00:14:27,127 --> 00:14:29,564 Don't be pausing like that, man. 351 00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:33,002 Anyway, she left me and took my dog, 352 00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:34,177 so I stole him back. 353 00:14:37,398 --> 00:14:38,616 Cute, right? 354 00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:39,879 Yeah. 355 00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:42,838 Well, he's in hiding now. 356 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,796 They're trying to serve me with a subpoena 357 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,451 and a restraining order. 358 00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:49,845 But I didn't want to leave you hanging, you know? 359 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,369 Can't really be out here, but... 360 00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:55,720 If you need me, hit me. Here's a burner. 361 00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:57,461 Hmm. 362 00:14:57,505 --> 00:15:00,464 Um, Toby, why don't you take a personal day, man? 363 00:15:00,508 --> 00:15:03,685 You know what? I'm good. 364 00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:04,991 You forgot your mop. 365 00:15:08,298 --> 00:15:09,778 Here's your lunch. 366 00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:26,534 Suzanne, Gigi, I need your help. 367 00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:28,144 Martin, what's going on? 368 00:15:28,188 --> 00:15:30,146 I'm a pretty good guy, right? Uh-huh. 369 00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:32,540 I mean, I'm the kind of guy who would take a woman to an ex party. 370 00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:34,150 I wing-manned you right into a date. 371 00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:35,543 Yeah, yeah, you did. 372 00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:37,501 So, how could I have wronged a woman so badly 373 00:15:37,545 --> 00:15:40,330 that she would put me on a "Don't date this jerk" website? 374 00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:42,506 For the life of me, I can't figure it out. 375 00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:44,639 It has to be someone I dated recently. 376 00:15:44,682 --> 00:15:46,771 She calls herself Fifi Del Fuego, 377 00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,338 which I know has got to be fake. 378 00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:50,862 I mean, seriously. Fifi on fire? What is that? 379 00:15:50,906 --> 00:15:52,777 Well, maybe she was hot and irrational. 380 00:15:52,821 --> 00:15:56,042 I mean, okay, if I did something wrong, at least tell me what it is. 381 00:15:56,085 --> 00:15:59,393 Don't tell the world I'm a jerk, and then run and hide. 382 00:15:59,436 --> 00:16:02,396 Martin, I see your point, you know? 383 00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:03,963 That would just be mean... 384 00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:05,921 Evil... 385 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,314 Diabolical. 386 00:16:07,357 --> 00:16:08,924 Don't you need to blow your nose? 387 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,404 Gigi! What? 388 00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:11,883 Tell him. Tell him what? 389 00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:13,624 Tell me what? Gigi! 390 00:16:14,364 --> 00:16:15,800 Okay. 391 00:16:17,628 --> 00:16:19,065 I'm sorry. 392 00:16:19,108 --> 00:16:21,937 You. You're Fifi Del Fuego. 393 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,460 How could you? 394 00:16:23,504 --> 00:16:24,984 Well, I needed you to take me to that party, Martin. 395 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:27,682 Well, the party is over. Get me off of that website! 396 00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:30,772 I'm trying. I just can't remember the password. 397 00:16:30,815 --> 00:16:32,034 What are you doing? 398 00:16:32,078 --> 00:16:34,254 Oh, hold on.Cheese. 399 00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:36,604 What's that for? 400 00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:39,476 If my name and face isn't off that website by tomorrow, 401 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,000 yours goes up on one. 402 00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:42,740 I'm not gonna tell you what website, 403 00:16:42,784 --> 00:16:44,960 but I think you'll figure it out. 404 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,657 You'll probably recognize the head, 405 00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:48,355 but maybe not the body so much, Fifi. 406 00:16:49,965 --> 00:16:51,662 By the way, 28 Days Later... 407 00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:54,404 Go to a doctor. 408 00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:08,418 Ah, Nick, I would like to introduce you to, um... 409 00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:10,812 Toby? 410 00:17:10,855 --> 00:17:12,509 Nick, what are you doing here? 411 00:17:12,553 --> 00:17:14,076 You guys know each other? 412 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,338 The assistant. 413 00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:18,428 Oh, you're the weirdo. 414 00:17:18,472 --> 00:17:20,213 That's what you told him? I'm weird? 415 00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:21,997 I'm not weird. 416 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,390 Well, it's a little weird, 417 00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:25,174 considering we've been chatting for, like, an hour, 418 00:17:25,218 --> 00:17:27,437 and you never mentioned that you're my best friend's assistant. 419 00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:29,396 Dude, what are you doing here? 420 00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:30,745 Did you follow me here? 421 00:17:30,788 --> 00:17:34,792 Well, I was here first, so maybe you followed me. 422 00:17:34,836 --> 00:17:36,359 All right, Toby, look, 423 00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:38,840 I know you're going through a rough patch, all right? 424 00:17:38,883 --> 00:17:40,494 I know you lost your girlfriend, 425 00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:42,191 your dog's in witness protection, 426 00:17:42,235 --> 00:17:43,671 you're avoiding a subpoena, 427 00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:45,107 and you got a restraining order. 428 00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:48,197 But look, man, this here is just not cool, man! 429 00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:50,330 I don't know what you're saying. 430 00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:52,549 That's because you're a weirdo. 431 00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:55,117 So, what are you trying to say? 432 00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:57,032 He's saying you're weird. 433 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,555 You know what? 434 00:17:58,599 --> 00:18:00,905 I'm saying that you're fired. 435 00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:07,695 That was weird. 436 00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:14,049 Mmm... Smell good? 437 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,920 Aha! 438 00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:21,274 You didn't think I'd know, huh? Huh? Huh? 439 00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:24,233 You almost got a hot pan of brownies in your face. 440 00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:28,019 I can't believe you're baking brownies behind my back. 441 00:18:28,063 --> 00:18:30,152 Mom, listen. I'm sorry, okay? 442 00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:32,676 But I had to. You're patient zero, 443 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,331 and I don't want to be responsible for the outbreak. 444 00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:37,116 Move out of the way. 445 00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:38,682 Let me see these. 446 00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:42,773 Did you use my recipe? 447 00:18:42,817 --> 00:18:44,297 Yes. 448 00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:45,298 Even though I think I could have done them better, 449 00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:46,995 the kids insisted. 450 00:18:47,038 --> 00:18:48,170 Triple-chocolate? 451 00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:49,911 Triple-moist. 452 00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:52,261 These actually look pretty... 453 00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:54,568 Okay... 454 00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:57,136 I'm sick. 455 00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:01,009 Those are yours. 456 00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:08,190 Hey. 457 00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:12,890 Don't forget about your wardrobe fitting after the broadcast. 458 00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:15,719 What are you doing here, man? I fired you. 459 00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:18,505 Well... Technically, you can't. 460 00:19:18,548 --> 00:19:19,680 You didn't hire me. 461 00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:22,509 I'm gonna get you a coffee. 462 00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:24,250 You seem... Jumpy. 463 00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:26,774 Hello. 464 00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:28,384 Hello. Good to see you. 465 00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:30,038 Good to see you. Would you like a coffee? 466 00:19:30,081 --> 00:19:31,431 No, thanks. 467 00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:33,128 Mr. Peterson... 468 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,609 Hey, man, can I ask you something? 469 00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:37,088 Something else? 470 00:19:37,132 --> 00:19:40,570 No... Toby is crazy, right? 471 00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:42,224 Oh, yeah. 472 00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:44,618 He's nuttier than a squirrel's cheeks. 473 00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:47,055 You knew? Absolutely. 474 00:19:47,098 --> 00:19:48,796 Wait. Did I do something to you, man? 475 00:19:48,839 --> 00:19:49,884 No. 476 00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:51,102 Then why? 477 00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:54,802 Listen, this guy, he's connected, okay? 478 00:19:54,845 --> 00:19:57,761 Just hand him off to somebody else here, you know? 479 00:19:57,805 --> 00:19:59,110 Just keep him in the building, that's all. 480 00:19:59,154 --> 00:20:00,503 Then you'll be in the clear. 481 00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:02,505 Then somebody's gonna be coming back to me, 482 00:20:02,549 --> 00:20:04,203 asking me why I did that to them. 483 00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:06,553 There's got to be a way to get him to quit. 484 00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:07,858 Good luck with that. 485 00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:10,644 Brick. 486 00:20:11,601 --> 00:20:12,733 Peterson. 487 00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:19,348 Brick... 488 00:20:19,392 --> 00:20:21,350 Are you still looking for the guy who towed your car? 489 00:20:22,308 --> 00:20:24,614 It's not a car. 490 00:20:25,615 --> 00:20:27,008 It's a Porsche! 491 00:20:29,010 --> 00:20:33,362 He threw a brick through the window of my Porsche. 492 00:20:33,406 --> 00:20:34,450 I know. 493 00:20:34,494 --> 00:20:37,845 I can't live without a Porsche! 494 00:20:37,888 --> 00:20:41,022 If God had wanted me to live without a Porsche, 495 00:20:41,065 --> 00:20:43,067 he wouldn't have made Porsches! 496 00:20:43,111 --> 00:20:46,157 And he wouldn't have made me. 497 00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:48,769 That's him. Huh? 498 00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:49,813 He did it. 499 00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:55,471 Oh, yeah, you can run, 500 00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:57,517 but I'm gonna catch you... 501 00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,954 Then get a Porsche! 35513

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