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1
00:00:03,873 --> 00:00:06,354
Okay, let's go over this
one more time.
2
00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:07,529
Okay.
3
00:00:07,572 --> 00:00:10,140
Four first-class
boarding passes.Check.
4
00:00:10,184 --> 00:00:13,578
Two complimentary royal
spa day passes for you and me.
5
00:00:13,622 --> 00:00:15,145
Check, check!
6
00:00:15,189 --> 00:00:17,582
Full event itinerary and
contact list for the wedding.
7
00:00:17,626 --> 00:00:19,323
Check, check, and check.
8
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:21,543
You know, at first, I thought
planning a wedding on a cruise
9
00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:23,023
was gonna be a nightmare, but...
10
00:00:23,066 --> 00:00:25,373
It's like they're paying us
to go on vacation.
11
00:00:29,246 --> 00:00:31,335
Mom, I've been thinking
about your cruise,
12
00:00:31,379 --> 00:00:34,730
and what if your ship gets
taken over by Somalian pirates?
13
00:00:34,773 --> 00:00:36,819
One, not gonna happen.
14
00:00:36,862 --> 00:00:39,387
And two, if they knew
how much this wedding costs,
15
00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:41,432
they'd know it's gonna take
a lot more to stop it
16
00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:43,826
than two guys in a row boat
with a gun and a monkey.
17
00:00:46,568 --> 00:00:47,830
Hey, is the car all packed?
18
00:00:47,873 --> 00:00:50,050
The only thing that's
not in the car is us.
19
00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:52,487
Awesome. Hey, babe,
where's your mother?
20
00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:54,097
She's just pulling in. Oh, okay.
21
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:55,751
Mom, what happened
to all the food?
22
00:00:55,794 --> 00:00:57,927
Well, Marilyn doesn't
plan on cooking,
23
00:00:57,970 --> 00:01:00,408
so I cleaned out the
refrigerator and the pantry,
24
00:01:00,451 --> 00:01:01,931
and threw out all the leftovers.
25
00:01:01,974 --> 00:01:03,802
We'll just go shopping
when we get back.Okay.
26
00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:05,587
You know where
all the takeout menus are.
27
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:08,416
Marilyn!
28
00:01:11,506 --> 00:01:13,899
Well, it's official.
My vacation is over.
29
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:16,989
And how was Mexico?
30
00:01:17,033 --> 00:01:19,557
Girl, I don't know. I spent
all my time at the bar.
31
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:23,344
Hello?
32
00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,694
This is Nick Kingston-Persons.
33
00:01:25,737 --> 00:01:28,131
Marilyn, thank you so much
for taking care of the kids
34
00:01:28,175 --> 00:01:29,611
while we're working.Mm.
35
00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:31,178
Work. Right.
36
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,615
That's your story
and you sticking with it? Uh-huh.
37
00:01:35,225 --> 00:01:38,620
Ma, that was the Center
for Disease Control.
38
00:01:38,663 --> 00:01:40,187
They've been trying
to get a hold of you.
39
00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:42,363
What, you didn't
answer their call?
40
00:01:42,406 --> 00:01:46,149
I'm sorry, the number for the Center for
Disease Control was not on my caller ID.
41
00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:48,847
They said everyone on
your flight back from Mexico
42
00:01:48,891 --> 00:01:52,547
was exposed to some
Corsic-Unger virus. What?
43
00:01:52,590 --> 00:01:55,463
I've heard of that. That's
the Mexican gray squirrel flu.
44
00:01:55,506 --> 00:01:56,768
Gray squirrel flu?
45
00:01:56,812 --> 00:01:58,814
That's what the guy said
on the phone.
46
00:01:58,857 --> 00:02:01,860
And he said
it's highly contagious. So?
47
00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:04,080
I know how this works.
You were exposed to that,
48
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,429
and we're exposed to you...
49
00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:07,039
We all may have it.
50
00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:09,607
Bingo.
51
00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:12,393
They said anyone who
comes in contact with you
52
00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:15,396
has to be quarantined
for the next 48 hours.
53
00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:17,528
What? Not me.
54
00:02:17,572 --> 00:02:18,964
I'm getting out of here.
55
00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:20,270
Move it, move it, move it!
56
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,756
This is the sheriff.
57
00:02:27,799 --> 00:02:31,063
By order of the CDC, you are
officially under quarantine.
58
00:02:31,107 --> 00:02:33,457
Please do not try
to leave your home.
59
00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:35,894
Quarantine, are you serious?
60
00:02:35,938 --> 00:02:37,896
Step out here and find out.
61
00:02:40,421 --> 00:02:42,423
♪ Are we there yet?
62
00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:45,904
♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me
63
00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:47,819
♪ Tell me, are we there yet?
64
00:02:47,863 --> 00:02:50,605
♪ Are we there yet?
65
00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:54,174
Brittany, this is what being
the maid of honor is all about.
66
00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:55,610
That's right!
67
00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:57,655
Being there
for the bride.Mm-hmm.
68
00:02:57,699 --> 00:02:58,743
You can do this.
69
00:02:58,787 --> 00:02:59,831
I can.
70
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:01,224
Yes, you can!
71
00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:03,444
It's gonna be great, Brittany!
72
00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:06,447
But, you guys,
you're really quarantined?
73
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,927
Hey, we're quarantined,
which means you know
74
00:03:08,971 --> 00:03:10,581
exactly where we're gonna be!
75
00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:13,062
Yes, Brittany, we are
gonna be right here.
76
00:03:13,105 --> 00:03:15,238
Right here! Okay, bye.
77
00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:16,631
Bye!
78
00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:18,459
Okay, I'm gonna go cry now.
79
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:25,074
Guys, this squirrel flu thing
is no joke.
80
00:03:25,117 --> 00:03:26,380
It's been in 15
different countries,
81
00:03:26,423 --> 00:03:28,033
and it just now
made it to the US.
82
00:03:28,077 --> 00:03:30,601
If your mother wanted to bring
back something from Mexico,
83
00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:32,603
why couldn't it
have been tequila?
84
00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:34,431
This doesn't look good, does it?
85
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:36,955
Hey, don't worry, man.
We'll be fine.
86
00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:38,479
All right, whatever you say.
87
00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,002
You're the adults, I'm the kid,
88
00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:42,222
but I'm just saying,
it doesn't look good.
89
00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:47,227
Nick, where is she anyway?
90
00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:49,838
She's upstairs
in our bedroom resting.
91
00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:52,580
Our bedroom? It's safer for all of us.
92
00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:54,582
Look, we can't leave this house,
93
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,236
she can't leave that room.
94
00:03:58,499 --> 00:04:02,372
Okay, this is all the food we
have left in the house. All right?
95
00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:04,244
We got two cans of soup,
96
00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:05,419
a packet of oatmeal,
97
00:04:05,462 --> 00:04:07,334
a packet of taco seasoning,
98
00:04:07,377 --> 00:04:09,292
half a box of dry pasta,
99
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:11,512
nine eggs, a frozen dinner,
100
00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,688
and two-and-half frozen waffles.
101
00:04:13,731 --> 00:04:18,040
Lindsey, how many times have I
talked to you about eating half a waffle?
102
00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:19,346
Not the time, babe.
103
00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:21,304
This is it? Really, Nick?
104
00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:25,003
I mean, who, seriously,
doesn't have food in their house?
105
00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:26,570
Um, you?
106
00:04:26,614 --> 00:04:29,181
Guys, why can't we
just order a pizza?
107
00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:31,749
Because we're under
quarantine, all right?
108
00:04:31,793 --> 00:04:35,362
Nobody goes out,
nobody comes in.
109
00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:37,886
We're just gonna
have to make this last.
110
00:04:37,929 --> 00:04:40,410
Wait, so if we have to
make this last, what's that?
111
00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:41,846
This is for my mother.
112
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:44,153
She needs to keep eating
to fight this thing.
113
00:04:44,196 --> 00:04:46,677
Well, you guys can have
mine. I had a big lunch.
114
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:49,419
Okay, I'm gonna
get this soup on.
115
00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:50,899
All right, thanks, babe.
116
00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:53,597
Martin, I'm gonna
get you some blankets.
117
00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:55,077
Thanks.
118
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,905
Lindsey, show me
where I'm sleeping.Okay.
119
00:04:58,472 --> 00:05:00,256
Ugh!
120
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,172
As crazy as it sounds, I'm
kinda glad I'm on quarantine.
121
00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:04,869
Why would you be
glad about that?
122
00:05:04,913 --> 00:05:06,044
Her name is Gina.
123
00:05:06,088 --> 00:05:07,785
We went out, like, three times.
124
00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:09,134
It's over, it's done with.
125
00:05:09,178 --> 00:05:10,658
So, I de-friended her
on Facebook.
126
00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:12,877
Why, was she stalking you
or something?
127
00:05:12,921 --> 00:05:15,010
Nah, she's just
one of these girls
128
00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:18,666
who constantly posts every single thing
she does, like, "Oh, I just had a latte.
129
00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:21,103
"I'm wearing a hat.
130
00:05:21,146 --> 00:05:23,453
"I took in air, I exhaled air.
131
00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:25,368
"LOL, winky-face."
132
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,762
She's constantly tagging me
in these stupid videos.
133
00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:32,157
Yeah, a cat hugged a kitten.
I don't care. Stop it.
134
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:34,725
This woman will not stop
trying to track me down now
135
00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:36,771
trying to figure out
why I de-friended her.
136
00:05:36,814 --> 00:05:38,381
She's like Sherlock Ho.
137
00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:42,080
Yeah, Ma?
138
00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:43,168
I'm hungry.
139
00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:44,518
When am I gonna get some food?
140
00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:46,868
I'll be right up, okay?
141
00:05:46,911 --> 00:05:48,565
Dad, you can't go up there.
142
00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:51,089
The squirrel flu's airborne.
You need to have protection.
143
00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:52,743
I'll wear a mask.
144
00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:54,919
Dad, you can't, okay?
145
00:05:54,963 --> 00:05:57,095
It has airborne risk
and droplet risk.
146
00:05:57,139 --> 00:05:58,401
Droplet?
147
00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:00,229
Yeah. Sneezing, coughing.
148
00:06:00,272 --> 00:06:03,711
I mean, if you really wanna go
up there, you need a hazmat suit.
149
00:06:03,754 --> 00:06:05,974
Where am I supposed
to find a hazmat suit?
150
00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:19,074
Who are you, the Shah of Saran?
151
00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:24,688
It's a hazmat suit.
152
00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:26,342
I gotta protect myself.
153
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,389
Why? I keep telling
you all, I'm fine.
154
00:06:29,432 --> 00:06:33,218
Well, it may take a while
for the symptoms to show up, Ma.
155
00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:36,700
Look, if you start feeling
lightheaded, nauseous, or weak,
156
00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:37,875
tell me.
157
00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:39,703
Now, do you need anything else?
158
00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:41,444
Can you get me a better room?
159
00:06:41,488 --> 00:06:43,490
No. Do you need anything else?
160
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,056
Can you get me a drink?
161
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:46,362
No!
162
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:49,626
Alcohol inhibits
the immune system.
163
00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:50,888
Do you need anything else?
164
00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:52,368
Yeah.
165
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,936
Next time you invite somebody
to stay in your room,
166
00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:57,068
check the DVD player first.
167
00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:00,332
Freak.
168
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:14,738
No, no, no, leave
the clown costume on.
169
00:07:14,782 --> 00:07:17,306
Leave it on.
170
00:07:23,573 --> 00:07:27,272
That's not my trampoline.
171
00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:41,635
Troy?
172
00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:43,593
How'd you get in here?
173
00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:46,944
I told the sheriff that I was
originally in here and that I snuck out.
174
00:07:46,988 --> 00:07:48,468
He let me right in.
175
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:52,341
Troy, this is a quarantine.
All right?
176
00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:54,212
You could get really sick.
177
00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:56,214
Does your mother
know you're here?
178
00:07:56,258 --> 00:07:59,304
No, she thinks I'm swimming with the
dolphins with my cousin in San Diego.
179
00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:02,873
Troy, why would you
do this, man?
180
00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:05,528
Mr. Kingston-Persons,
I follow my dreams.
181
00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:08,749
And my dream is to be
part of a quarantine, tape it,
182
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:12,361
and make it the first episode of
my total immersion web series,
183
00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:15,364
Living On The Edge With Troy.
184
00:08:15,407 --> 00:08:17,758
Next, I'm gonna be a drug mule.
It's gonna be great.
185
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:20,848
Well, I'm gonna have to let
your mother know you're here.
186
00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:23,851
Till then, take your dreams
upstairs to Kevin's room.
187
00:08:30,292 --> 00:08:31,685
How'd he get in here?
188
00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:34,165
Don't ask.
189
00:08:34,209 --> 00:08:37,995
I had the weirdest dream last
night, about clowns and candy bars.
190
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:40,824
Kept smelling chocolate
and peanuts.
191
00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:42,522
Do you smell in your dreams?
192
00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:45,046
What?
193
00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:46,613
Oh, thank God,
you're out of the bathroom.
194
00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:48,353
Oh, no, no, no,
Gigi is in there.
195
00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:51,705
If I don't get in there soon,
I may have to use your sink.
196
00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:55,535
Fine, as long as you don't mind
remodeling my whole kitchen afterwards.
197
00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:58,538
What is that?
198
00:08:58,581 --> 00:09:00,409
It's breakfast for my baby.
199
00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:03,543
Oh, God, that is so sad-looking.
200
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,590
Is your mother actually
eating all that food,
201
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,244
or are you sharing?
202
00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:10,985
We are not sharing.
203
00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:13,422
I mean, I wouldn't
blame you if you were. We are not sharing.
204
00:09:14,466 --> 00:09:15,859
Good morning!
205
00:09:16,947 --> 00:09:19,254
What is that on your face?
206
00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:22,126
It's an exfoliating
moisturizer and scrub.
207
00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:26,174
It smells like raisins.
208
00:09:26,217 --> 00:09:28,176
Mm. And maple.
209
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:33,094
Gigi! What?
210
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:35,444
You used our last oatmeal
packet on your face!
211
00:09:35,487 --> 00:09:37,707
I'm sorry, I have
a daily regimen.
212
00:09:37,751 --> 00:09:40,144
Yeah, so do we.
It's called eating.
213
00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:41,581
Shut up!
214
00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:43,974
That's disgusting!
215
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:45,846
I'm sorry, I had to.
216
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:48,718
I'm not talking about you,
I'm talking about Nick.
217
00:09:48,762 --> 00:09:51,199
How could you eat oatmeal
off her face?
218
00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:54,028
There is no way you are
mad at me right now.
219
00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:58,380
Hey! That's
my exfoliating scrub! Nick!
220
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:02,558
It's hour 26.
221
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,908
We wait in hopes
that my closest friend
222
00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:07,389
doesn't have to shoot his
own grandmother in the head.
223
00:10:07,432 --> 00:10:10,392
What are you talking about? You
are not shooting my mama in the head.
224
00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:13,221
If she's a zombie, how
else are we supposed to kill?
225
00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:15,527
She's not turning
into a zombie, man.
226
00:10:16,137 --> 00:10:17,486
You hope.
227
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:20,924
Oh, it's connecting.
228
00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:23,448
Brittany! Hey!
229
00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:26,103
It's Suzanne and Gigi.
Are you okay?
230
00:10:26,147 --> 00:10:27,801
No! No, Suzanne.
231
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:30,107
We got caught in a freak storm.
232
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:32,196
This is not
what I signed up for.
233
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,416
I'm...
234
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:37,549
I'm a bridesmaid,
I'm not George Clooney.
235
00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:39,551
Oh, God.
236
00:10:39,595 --> 00:10:43,686
All I wanted to do was to wear
a dress and to catch a bouquet,
237
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:46,297
and now I'm in the middle
ofThe Poseidon Adventure.
238
00:10:46,341 --> 00:10:48,865
What's The Poseidon Adventure?
239
00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:52,042
It's a movie where a
ship sinks, everybody dies.
240
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:53,696
You mean the Titanic!
241
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,655
No, this is before the Titanic.
242
00:10:55,698 --> 00:10:59,397
Before the movie Titanic,
or before the actual Titanic?
243
00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:02,270
No, after the real one,
before the movie one.
244
00:11:02,313 --> 00:11:03,532
Who was in it?
245
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:05,490
Me! Me, I am in it!
246
00:11:05,534 --> 00:11:06,753
Please...
247
00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:08,711
Please, just get me
off of this boat.
248
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,626
Brittany... Ooh, she's gone.
249
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,975
Yeah.
250
00:11:12,019 --> 00:11:14,021
Guys, um,
251
00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:18,678
we're down to some pasta,
one egg, and some taco mix.
252
00:11:18,721 --> 00:11:23,508
Uh, fine. You can make
a spicy pasta egg dish.
253
00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:25,510
Really? For all eight of us?
254
00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:26,947
Oh, now you're hungry?
255
00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:30,211
Maybe you should've
thought of that
256
00:11:30,254 --> 00:11:32,735
before you used our oatmeal
as a face mask.
257
00:11:33,997 --> 00:11:36,304
This woman will not stop
calling me.
258
00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:38,915
I mean, she's texting me,
like, every five minutes!
259
00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:40,351
Thank God she doesn't know
where I am.
260
00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:41,439
Hey, lady, stop!
261
00:11:41,483 --> 00:11:43,050
It's a quarantine in there!
262
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,182
Oh, my God! What the...
263
00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:47,271
Stand back! What's that?
264
00:11:51,058 --> 00:11:53,669
You de-friended me!
265
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,323
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
266
00:11:55,366 --> 00:11:57,542
Before you get in
your little fight here,
267
00:11:57,586 --> 00:11:59,240
do you have any food?
268
00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:00,676
Why would I have any food?
269
00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:02,417
Oh, man!
270
00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:17,301
When this is over,
271
00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:20,130
the first thing I'm gonna do
is go to the grocery store
272
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:22,480
and buy some canned food.
273
00:12:22,524 --> 00:12:24,134
I'm hungry.
274
00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:25,745
Everybody's hungry.
275
00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:29,618
Sounds like this fam
needs a froyo fix, stat.
276
00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:31,315
Post.
277
00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:33,535
God, when is this disease
gonna kick in?
278
00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:37,017
Mom, Dad, here. What?
279
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,280
A chocolate bar?
280
00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:40,585
Where'd you get this?
281
00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:42,805
I had a few left over
from my school candy jar.
282
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:43,850
Is there more?
283
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:45,895
No, I ate the others last night.
284
00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:47,941
Mom, are you gonna
ground me or something?
285
00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:50,204
No, sweetheart. No.
286
00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:53,424
People do desperate things
during desperate times.
287
00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:56,514
We just hope you'll do better
during the next family emergency.
288
00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:58,647
Yeah, yeah. Look, are we
gonna talk, or we gonna eat?
289
00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,562
How we gonna do this?
Let's set this up.
290
00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:03,783
I'm gonna divvy it up.
291
00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:05,219
Marilyn's sick.
292
00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:07,221
We were filming the web series
and we heard her moan.
293
00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:08,788
It was the scariest thing ever.
294
00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:10,746
I told you,
Mr. Kingston-Persons,
295
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,835
that woman upstairs
is not your mother anymore.
296
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:15,272
I know. You need to let me do
297
00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:18,362
what needs to be done.
298
00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:20,974
No, you are not
killing my mama, okay?
299
00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:23,759
Come here! Think of the children!
300
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:26,283
Would you give me that,
please? Give me that.
301
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,557
Ma, you okay?
302
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:41,298
I'm fine, baby, it's just...
303
00:13:41,342 --> 00:13:43,735
Just a little stomach virus.
No big deal.
304
00:13:43,779 --> 00:13:45,172
You sure?
305
00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:47,652
I don't know.
306
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:50,830
Oh, Nick, what if
I really am sick?
307
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:53,876
Ma, Ma, Ma,
you're gonna be okay.
308
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:57,358
Whether I am or not, you
gotta take care of yourself.
309
00:13:57,401 --> 00:13:59,577
Now, go. Get out of this
room! Get out of here.
310
00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:02,058
I am not leaving you, Ma!
311
00:14:02,102 --> 00:14:04,452
Baby, you have to.
312
00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:10,023
Look, I love you, and that goes
for that Suzanne and those kids, too.
313
00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:13,113
But if something is wrong with
me, there's nothing you can do...
314
00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:19,119
- No. No. No.
- No.
315
00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:21,817
Did I expect to die
in my early 40s? No.
316
00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:24,820
But if I don't die,
317
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,909
don't be reminding me
of what I said in this room,
318
00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:29,607
'cause I'm delirious!
Delirious, you hear me?
319
00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:35,918
I love you, Ma.I love you too, baby.
320
00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,877
I really do. I love...
321
00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:42,185
You're losing your hair!
322
00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:44,971
Why!
323
00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:47,364
Idiot.
324
00:14:50,715 --> 00:14:54,458
All right, so this is all
the food we have left.
325
00:14:54,502 --> 00:14:56,199
So let's try to
make the most of it.
326
00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:57,679
How are we supposed to do that?
327
00:14:57,722 --> 00:14:59,463
Take a lick every 20 minutes?
328
00:14:59,507 --> 00:15:02,640
Hey, just be glad
for what you're getting.
329
00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:06,296
I mean, there are pictures of
stick figures eating better than this.
330
00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:10,083
I've seen more food at the wrap
party for Somalia's Next Top Model.
331
00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:13,347
I call dibs on the end part.
332
00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:14,783
I'm not hungry.
333
00:15:14,826 --> 00:15:16,741
Oh, we weren't giving you any.
334
00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:20,528
And if things get really ugly,
we might just eat you.
335
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:23,923
Well, at least I don't have to
worry about packing on the pounds.
336
00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:25,141
Ding-dong!
337
00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:28,318
Hey. Hey, Terrence,
how'd you get in here?
338
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:29,972
Same way I get in everywhere.
339
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:31,843
None of your business.
340
00:15:31,887 --> 00:15:35,238
This has got to be the worst
quarantine in the history of America.
341
00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:38,328
More people breaking in here
than an electronics store in a riot.
342
00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:40,722
One difference, I brought
something you might want.
343
00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:41,984
I brought some food.
344
00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:43,768
Yay!
345
00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:45,857
Please tell me you brought us
an up and Down burger
346
00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:47,598
I brought you some Up and Down.
347
00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:51,080
Wait! Well, wait!
348
00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:52,299
Where is it?
349
00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:54,562
Oh, no, I ate
them thangs in the car.
350
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:56,433
It was good, man. Oh, man!
351
00:15:56,477 --> 00:15:57,869
So what did you bring us?
352
00:15:57,913 --> 00:16:00,437
Oh, I got you guys
some field survival kits.
353
00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:03,571
Merry Christmas.
354
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:07,575
Pass them around. Okay.
355
00:16:07,618 --> 00:16:09,272
Hold on.
356
00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:11,709
A can of sardines,
357
00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:13,407
a spork,
358
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:16,584
a deck of cards,
359
00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:21,110
and two bottles
of concentrated water?
360
00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:24,374
Yup. Each drop is equal
to six ounces of water.
361
00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:26,072
All you gotta do is add water.
362
00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:30,076
I hate to look
a gift horse in the mouth.
363
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:31,991
Then don't, 'cause I gotta go.
364
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:33,296
Wait, wait, wait!
365
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:35,255
What about this quarantine?
366
00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:37,692
Yeah, how serious
is this monkey flu?
367
00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:40,564
Not serious at all.
'Cause it's not true.
368
00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:42,479
What?
369
00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:45,221
See, the government likes to covertly
test emergency response system
370
00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:47,267
every once in a while,
371
00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:51,271
to see how people mobilize, the
authorities respond, and the public react.
372
00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:54,578
Wait a minute.
So, this is just a drill?
373
00:16:54,622 --> 00:16:55,797
Exactly.
374
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,625
They do it all the time.
375
00:16:57,668 --> 00:16:59,714
You remember H1N1?Yeah.
376
00:16:59,757 --> 00:17:01,063
A drill.
377
00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:03,065
Remember SARS? Yeah.
378
00:17:03,109 --> 00:17:04,414
A drill.
379
00:17:04,458 --> 00:17:05,720
Y'all remember the bird flu?
380
00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:06,938
It was a drill too?
381
00:17:06,982 --> 00:17:08,810
No, that one was true.
382
00:17:08,853 --> 00:17:10,899
Don't mess with them birds.
383
00:17:10,942 --> 00:17:12,074
Well, what about my ma?
384
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:13,771
Did they say she was a carrier?
385
00:17:13,815 --> 00:17:15,686
She just got back from Mexico.
386
00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:17,166
She's got all kind of symptoms.
387
00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:18,646
Cramping, vomiting.
388
00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:20,082
Did she drink the water?
389
00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:22,128
She said
she just had margaritas.
390
00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:23,868
Straight up or blended?
391
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:25,392
Blended, I think.
392
00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:29,787
Blended with ice cubes
from Mexican water.
393
00:17:29,831 --> 00:17:32,094
Okay, so I know
what she got, all right?
394
00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:34,923
She got a slight case
of Montezuma's revenge,
395
00:17:34,966 --> 00:17:38,579
with a little case of the BGs.
That's the bubble guts.
396
00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:40,233
So, does that mean we can leave?
397
00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:42,452
No, y'all have to stay here.
398
00:17:42,496 --> 00:17:46,152
See, the head of the CDC, they're
the only ones who know it's a drill.
399
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:47,457
So, if y'all leave,
400
00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:49,198
I'm sorry, they gonna
have to take you out.
401
00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:52,767
So, what, we're stuck in
this house for 12 more hours?
402
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,464
That's what the cards are for.
403
00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:56,118
Me, I'm out.
404
00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:58,816
I got to rendezvous with my
unit up in the Nevada Desert.
405
00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:00,557
We going to Vegas.
406
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:03,734
Peace.
407
00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:08,130
Hey, hey, hey! Gigi!
408
00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:09,523
Come on! Y'all got boxes!
409
00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:11,220
Get away from...
410
00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:18,619
We're in the final seconds
of the quarantine.
411
00:18:18,662 --> 00:18:20,273
Unfortunately for us all,
412
00:18:20,316 --> 00:18:23,014
it seems the zombie apocalypse
will wait for another day.
413
00:18:23,058 --> 00:18:25,365
Three, two, one!
414
00:18:27,715 --> 00:18:32,328
Oh! Bye! Bye! Bye!
415
00:18:32,372 --> 00:18:34,374
Okay, babe, I'm gonna
try and reach Brittany.
416
00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:35,810
I'm gonna go order a pizza.
417
00:18:35,853 --> 00:18:36,941
All right.
418
00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:38,813
Listen, Gina,
I've been thinking...
419
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:39,988
Hold on.
420
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:42,860
Quarantine over, heading home.
421
00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:44,297
Post.
422
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,125
Perhaps I was
a little bit hasty.
423
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:47,865
I see you sent me
a friend request.
424
00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:49,476
I did.
425
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:51,478
That's too bad. Ignore.
426
00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:53,610
Gina!
427
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:54,872
We can start over again!
428
00:18:54,916 --> 00:18:56,526
We can start a farm together.
429
00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:58,311
Or we can just poke.
430
00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:03,229
Hey, I don't even wanna hear it.
431
00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:05,056
Frowny face.
432
00:19:05,535 --> 00:19:07,842
Gina, IOI!
433
00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:10,845
Hey, dude, listen.
434
00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:13,413
I'm glad we didn't have to
kill any of my family members.
435
00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:16,764
Maybe next time? Yeah. Here you go.
436
00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:20,420
All right,
see you later. See you.
437
00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:22,161
Troy, KDOA News.
438
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:23,988
Your video of the
quarantine went viral.
439
00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:25,512
Can we get a few minutes?
440
00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:27,209
I think I can make some time.
441
00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:38,264
Wow, welcome back
to the land of the living!
442
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,440
You look good. You hungry?
443
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:43,530
I don't want nothing to eat,
I don't want nothing to drink.
444
00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:45,619
I just wanna go home,
get in my own bed,
445
00:19:45,662 --> 00:19:47,751
and pretend this whole
nightmare never happened.
446
00:19:48,535 --> 00:19:49,840
Hey, Ma,
447
00:19:50,537 --> 00:19:52,016
I'm sorry about the DVD.
448
00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:55,237
Oh, you should be... ya freak.
449
00:20:04,159 --> 00:20:05,465
So, I guess that's it.
450
00:20:05,508 --> 00:20:07,075
What happened to
your wedding people?
451
00:20:07,118 --> 00:20:09,120
Well, the ship pulled
into port in Kauai,
452
00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:10,774
and everybody got off fine.
453
00:20:10,818 --> 00:20:12,036
All right! Yeah.
454
00:20:12,863 --> 00:20:14,822
Come on, baby.
455
00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:20,262
Captain's video log, day three.
456
00:20:22,308 --> 00:20:26,529
I've been hiding in the
hull of the ship for 72 hours!
457
00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:31,578
Heck, I didn't wanna be
captain of this old ship anyway.
458
00:20:31,621 --> 00:20:33,232
I used to be the bartender.
459
00:20:34,798 --> 00:20:38,237
That's a job I really liked.
460
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:41,327
'Cause nobody blames the
bartender if the ship goes down.
461
00:20:45,418 --> 00:20:48,203
If I get out of this alive,
462
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,684
I'm gonna pursue
my lifelong dream,
463
00:20:51,902 --> 00:20:54,775
which is not dying on this ship.
464
00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:58,692
Mm. Mm-mm!
33555
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