All language subtitles for Are.We.There.Yet.S03E19.The.Tit.for.Tat.Episode.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-FLUX_track3_[eng]

How would you kids like
to earn some extra money?

You do realize we don't
have any money.

Yeah, so technically
it's just money, not extra.

Fine, how would you
like to stay broke?

Sorry.

What do we have to do? I just talked to my mother.

Her neighbor's daughter
is out of town,

and she needs somebody
to look after her father.

Is he, like, sick or something?

He's old.

Oh, so we have to, like,
walk him and feed him, right?

He's not a dog. You
don't have to walk him.

But you might have
to feed him, all right?

Now, she said mostly he likes
to just sit around and watch TV.

Oh, how much do we get paid?

That depends on how
good a job you do.

It could be up to $200.

But if he dies, you get nothin'.

♪ Are we there yet?

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me

♪ Tell me, are we there yet?

♪ Are we there yet?

Nick, I was looking for you.

Here I am.

That's why I said "Was."

It implies that I was no longer
looking for you because I found you.

What about this
don't you get, Nick?

No, I get it. What's goin' on?

Well, I want to introduce you
to the new field reporter.

Where is he? She.

Oh, here she comes.

Bubi,

this is Nick Kingston-Persons.

Mmm, nice to meet you.

I bet it is.

I love it.
Don't you just love that?

This is why we brought Bubi in.

I mean, she's a solid reporter,

but this girl is not afraid to bring
a little eye candy to the table.

Eye candy?

Yeah, I mean, you know,
you're a great reporter also,

but if I have to watch somebody
at 6:00 in the morning...

You know what I mean?

Wait. Wait. You're putting
her on in the mornings?

Yeah, mornings, afternoons,
overnight, whatever, you know?

Please, show her the ropes.

Yeah, okay.

So, uh, Bubi.

How do you spell that? B-O-O...

No. B-U-B-I.

So, is that your real name?

Well, no. My real
name is Margaret.

Okay...

When I was a kid, I couldn't
say "movie," so I said, "Bubi,"

and it stuck.

Okay, Bubi.

You know, I hate
to tell you this,

but this gig
is no joke, you know?

But there's a lot of potential.

If you work really hard, something
good will come your way. Give it time.

Bubi, I'm glad
you're still here.

Mmm-hmm.

Listen, the Yankees are
coming to town next week.

I'm thinkin' you could have a
sit-down with Jeter and A-Rod.

Sure. A-Rod?

Yeah, A-Rod. Third-baser
for the Yankees.

Maybe you heard of him? Yikes.

I have a very solid
segment for you, too.

Now, this is very important.

This kid got hit
by a car last year.

Now, he's getting out of rehab,

and he's gonna throw
out the first pitch.

At the Yankees-Mariners game?

No, at the C-Tech
little league all-star game.

We're gonna have you
roll him out to the mound.

He's dead. No money. Let's go.

Hey, hey, stop that.
He's not dead.

Mr. Watson?

Oh, well.

I thought I was knocking
on heaven's door,

but I did not know heaven
was knocking on my door.

I'm Tommy. Who are you?

Hi, Tommy. I'm Suzanne.

Well, come on in, Suzanne.Okay.

I don't know no Suzanne,

but it don't mean that we
can't get to know each other.

Who are they?

Oh, uh, Tommy,
these are my children.

That's Kevin,
and this is Lindsey.

Wait a minute. You trying
to say those are my kids?

If so, you can march your butt

right back out the door
the way you came in.

You might be pretty,
but I ain't stupid.

No, no, no, Tommy.

That's not what
I'm trying to say.

Marilyn, you know Marilyn?

Marilyn, big, sexy.

Yes, yes. Well, she's
my mother-in-law.

And she's out of town, and
these are her grandchildren,

and they're here
to help you out.

Well, look at that.

She look like a tiny Nefertiti.

And look at you, little man.

Look like Barack Obama's
ventriloquist dummy.

Well, is it all right, Tommy, if I
leave them here for a couple of hours?

Sure, make sure
you're back at 7:00.

If you're not, they're gonna be
waiting for you outside in the hallway.

No problem.Okay.

All right, bye, guys.

You know, Ms. Redbone,

can I ask a favor of you? Yeah.

You remind me of
my first wife, Barbara,

God rest her soul.
You look just like her.

I do? Aw.Yes.

Just like I'm standing
in front of my wife.

Thank you.

I don't want to make
you uncomfortable,

but would you give me
a hug before you go?

I'm an old man, and I haven't been
touched by an angel in a long time.

Of course, sure.

Aw, thank you.

You're welcome.

Okay, all right.

Okay, all right. Bye, guys.

Remember, 7:00,
and bring that money.

Okay, so what we gonna do?

I have Yahtzee, dominoes.

You kids ever played
with a pistol before?

So, they really gave her the
A-Rod interview on her first day?

Yeah, every guy in the place is
just falling all over this woman.

Well, Nick, maybe they
just wanted to throw her

right into the mix
to see how she does.

They didn't throw
me right in the mix.

I know why she got
that interview.

Why?

Because she is what
her name says she is.

Just because a woman is attractive
doesn't mean she's not qualified.

I'm just sayin'
I don't think they care.

Mariners had a big game today.

Our own Bubi McGee
sat down with A-Rod.

Everybody knows a lot
about A-Rod the Yankee.

Today, I sat down
with A-Rod, the man.

Holy...

Are you kidding me?
Is that even a shirt?

Who's Johnny Mathis?

Only the greatest singer who
ever picked up a microphone.

That boy could sing.

♪ Mmm, Johnny Mathis could sing

♪ Such beautiful love songs

♪ He could sing and girls
would cry all day ♪

Okay, Mr. Watson. Huh?

Okay, is this guy
better than Usher?

I'ma usher your
little butt out of here

if you keep asking
those stupid questions.

What you doin' here, anyway?
Where's your mama?

She brought us over here to watch
you. Don't you remember yesterday?

I remember yesterday.
Do I look like a fool?

'Cause I ain't no fool. Not a fool, got it.

Are you hungry?

Am I eatin' something?

Sorry.

Sometimes I think you kids
are smoking that wacky tobacky.

Gosh, you ask some
of the dumbest questions.

Boy, go over and get my
foot tub. I got to soak my feet.

Soak your feet? What for?

'Cause my feet hurt.
Why you soak your feet?

I don't soak my feet.

Well, good for you
and your feet.

When you get my age,
your feet gonna hurt.

So, I tell you what you do.

We gonna get some
hot water put in there,

a cup of Tide, some Bab-O,

and a tablespoon of bleach.

Hey, man. Where can I
find the field reporters?

What are you doing here?

I'm watching the news
this morning,

and I happen to notice
that you are not on.

But there is this woman...

Oh, here we go.

Hey! Don't you understand
what a big deal this is?

A hot woman who loves sports,
like, as in it's her job?

You have to introduce me.

Why?

Because here she comes, and I
will tell her what you said about her.

I didn't say anything about her.

She doesn't know that.

Oh, my God, you should
have been there last night.

Oh, really?

A-Rod was amazing. After the
interview, we went and hung out.

Great guy.

Yeah, I bet.

Uh, Bubi, Martin. Martin, Bubi.

I've never met a Martin
I didn't like.

Well, that is quite
a coincidence,

'cause I have never met
a Bubi that I didn't like.

Bubi, a few of us
have gotten together,

and the guys decided we're gonna
throw you a little welcome party.

Oh, that's great.

Yeah, tonight at No-Hitters.

That's a baseball term, Nick.

Maybe you should stop by.
You might pick up a few things.

You should come by too, Martin.

I think I should.

I hate to break up this
little party, you know,

but don't you have someplace
to be? Like over there?

I do. And now
I'm gonna go there.

He is so gorgeous.

Martin?

I love gay guys.

So, how were things
at work today?

Baby.

I don't know how
this is gonna work.

This woman's got
every guy in the building

twisted around
her little finger.

Well, that's not what
they're twisted around.

Well, get this. Martin
wanted to meet her, right?

So, he pops up at the station,

he meets her, and she likes him.

What? But here's the kicker.

She thinks he's gay.

That's insane. What did
he say when you told him?

I didn't. Man code.

Man code?

Man code, all right? Look,
when a woman likes a guy,

no matter the reason,
you do not get in the way.

Unless, of course,
she's tryin' to kill him.

But she is not
going to kill him.

Anyway, we're all meeting

down at No-Hitters
for her welcome party.

They didn't give
you a welcome party.

I don't think I'm going.

Oh, yes, you are.

I'm not going down there
fighting for attention with her.

Shoot.

You know what?

It's clear who's
got the advantage there.

Nick.

You've got big, bouncing pecs.

And, in my opinion, that
is a lot more entertaining

than what she has.

You seriously want me
to go down there?

Baby, this woman wants your job.

Don't hand it to her.

You should go upstairs,
put on a tight t-shirt,

go down to that party, crack
jokes, talk sports, pop-lock,

do whatever you got
to do to let her know

it's not goin' down like that.

I am not pop-lockin'
in a tight T-shirt.

Could you do it
when you get home?

You like that?

I might.

Well, I'll go, then, for you.

Mmm-hmm.

Yeah, baby.

That's right.

Now, you show them why they
hired you in the first place.

Now, you get down there,
and you make that money.

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Hey, Nick.Hey.

Hey, good to see you, Nick.

All right, how you doin'?

Hey, we got a seat for you
saved up all the way down there.

Is, you know...

Nah, these people
are sittin' here.

I'll be right back, okay?

Okay.

Nick, this woman is incredible.

She's hot.
She loves sports, beer.

Dances on tables.

Who knew Coyote Ugly
was a documentary?

To Bubi!

She is into me like
you would not believe.

Actually, I kind of don't.

How's that?

I'm just telling you this

because you probably
need to know,

and I wouldn't want you
to hear it from somebody else.

Please do not tell me
that she's a dude.

Martin, she thinks you're gay.

Well, did you tell her I'm not?

No, sorry. No, no, no, thank you.

You're not gonna tell her?

Martin!

Hey!

Bubi, can I talk
to you for a sec?

Sure, Nick.

Don't miss me too much, guys.

Whoo!

I thought you came
here to work with me,

but clearly you came
here to work without me.

Look, I don't pick
my assignments, Nick.

Neither do I.

But I don't get 'em
by dancing on a table.

Have you tried?

I take my job seriously.

So do I.

I have degrees in
Communications and Journalism.

I tried getting ahead
on my resume,

and what did it get me? Nothing.

So, I decided to use
some other talents.

That's not the point.

But if you're trying
to take my job,

you're gonna need more
than your little friends.

I've never heard them
referred to like that.

Say goodbye
to my little friends.

There she is.

Good morning, my friend.

You want to explain that outfit?

Ah. This is Bubi-approved,

and I don't believe it
needs further explanation.

You don't care what people say?

I mean, 'cause
it's getting around, man.

Sweet, sweet Nicholas.

I thought I knew
you better than this.

We are living in a society
of morphing attitudes

toward sexuality,

and sometimes,
for the right person,

you can be gay.

Think about Anne Heche.

She was gay for Ellen
DeGeneres, then nobody else.

Consider me

the male Anne Heche.

Whatever floats your boat,

but look, understand

that your woman is going down.

Well, if she does go down,

I will be there
to cushion her fall.

If she falls forward,

you won't need
to cushion her fall.

Hey, can I borrow
your copy of Rent?

I don't have a copy of Rent.

It's in my office.

In the DVD player.

Hey.

Shouldn't you be
getting ready for work?

I don't have
any assignments today.

They gave it to Bubi.

Are you serious?

Nick, what happened last night?

I told her I thought she was
trying to get by on her looks.

I told her it wasn't
goin' down like that

and if she was comin' after
me, I was goin' after her.

You said that?

It was a little like that.

Baby, I believe in you,

and I know that you
are not gonna let yourself

be taken out of the game by
some chick wigglin' her butt.

Now, if nothing else,
you go down there,

and you stay in her face.

Well, not in her face
but, you know,

close enough to her face where
she knows you're not playing around.

And if you can't
find another way,

put some stolen office
supplies in her car.

You would do that?

I'm not saying I would.

I'm not saying I wouldn't.

All I'm saying is,
if stolen merchandise

is found in an employee's
car, it does not look good.

Have you ever gotten a job
you didn't deserve

because of the way you look?

Well, I've ended up
with jobs I didn't want

because I didn't look
good enough.

I was always afraid to use
what I had to get what I want,

'cause then the guy
might want to get what I use

'cause he gave me what I got.

What's this about? Nick.

I'm worried about him
and this Bubi McGee.

I mean, how is he supposed
to compete with all of that?

You know, if a guy came
in here with a tight T-shirt

and bulging pecs...

Mmm, with some tight
pants on and stubble

and his bicep out...

Hey, hey.

We wouldn't take him seriously.

S-sure.

But, anyway,

at the end of the day,
we might not like it,

but the only reason
she gets away with it

is because a man's in charge.

Now, if women were in charge,

that wouldn't happen.

Hey, Gigi.

Can you do me a favor
and pick up

Kevin and Lindsey
this afternoon for me? Sure.

Where are you going?

I'm going to use what
I got to get what I want.

Oh! You go work it, girl.

Booyah! Give me some.
Give me some. Give me some.

Get the door, young fella.

I don't want
to ruin this moment.

Hey!

Hey, Gigi! Hello. Hi, Lindsey!

Oh, my God.

Oh, you must be
the angel of death. Oh!

I'm just about
to have a heart attack.

Oh, hi. Oh, my God.

I'm Gigi. I'm just
here to pick up the kids.

Well, to hell with them.

They don't need you.
I need you. Oh! Oh!

Do you know
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?

I'm about to fall out.Oh. No! Don't do that.

Don't do that.

All right, you guys, go get your
stuff. Go get your stuff, quickly.

Do you really have to go? I'm afraid so.

Can you drop 'em off
and then come back?

I'm afraid not. Mmm-mmm.

You look kind of scared.Mmm-hmm.

You know, I have a
pistol and two bullets.

You need a bodyguard?

No, that won't be necessary.

Okay, if you got to go,
you got to go.

I have to, so...

But, Miss Gigi, would
you do me a favor?

My poor wife,
God rest her soul.Mmm-hmm.

You remind me of her. I do?

Yes. It's like I'm standing
right in front of her.

Oh! Could you do
something for me?

Could you give a old man a hug?

It's been a long time since
I've been touched by an angel.

Oh, sure. Come here.

Oh. Oh, okay!

Mmm-mm. Yep.
Mmm-hmm. Yep. Mmm-hmm.

Oh, okay!

I'll see you later.

And, kids, y'all just
get your... I'm downstairs.

Well. See you later, Mr. Watson.

Thank you, sugar dumplings,

for looking in on me.
I appreciate it.

Yeah, we had a good time.

Oh, and by the way, we
saw a picture of your wife.

She didn't look like our mom,
and she didn't look like Gigi.

She was Chinese.

Number one,
ain't nobody asked you.

Number two, what you
doin' in my business?

Number three, quit blockin'!

You little bad kids.
You don't know me.

I'm an old player from 1962.

All the women,
they called me Spoon!

'Cause I scooped 'em all up.

I am really sorry you got fired.

That's okay.

This isn't the first time
it's happened.

Bubi, what's with the box?

I thought we were
having lunch together.

I got fired, honey.

What? Why?

Oh, I'm so sorry.

We're still gonna hang out
together, though, right?

Yes, of course.

I mean, look at you.

You look like
Tim Gunn dressed you.

Who's Tim Gunn?

Oh, my God. You're
straight, aren't you?

No.Liar.

Who hosted this
year's Tony Awards?

Uh, Neil Patrick Harris.

Lady Gaga or Cher?

Cher, hello!

There's a movie about two
friends who grew up together.

One became a mom.

One became a star.

What's the name
of the movie, the star

and the song at the end
of the movie?

Oh, that would be Bette Midler

singing "Glory of Love"
in Beaches.

Exactly.

Yeah, so you're the lady
that likes gay guys, right?

Why, are you gay?

Yes, yes, I am gay.

Yeah, I'll take your box.

Enjoy your life, straight boy.

Yeah, let's get out of here
and have a pillow fight.

Suzanne!

Guess what. What?

This season, I'm covering
Seahawks Training Camp.

Whoo!

Oh, honey. Yay! Congratulations!

That's wonderful.

But, um, what happened to Bubi?

You're not gonna believe this,

but she got fired.Perfect.

Uh, what? What happened?

You know something about this?

Nick, if I knew
something about this,

would I say, "What?
What happened?"

Come on, Suzanne, seriously.

So, I may have put in a call

to Mrs. Peterson

and told her

how much I love the new girl
that her husband hired,

who he happens to
hang out with after hours.

Suzanne, you didn't.

I didn't say anything
that wasn't true.

Listen, us wives need
to stick together.

It is us versus
the single women.

They do whatever they
have to to get ahead,

and they need to know that
it's not always gonna work.

We have a few tricks of our own.

Wife code?

Wife code.

You women are evil.

Thank you, baby.

Anything for you, honey.

Mmm, since you did that for me,

I'm gonna do a little
something for you. Ooh!

I'm gonna head upstairs, Mmm-hmm.

put on that tight T-shirt...

Ooh!

And pop-lock into bed... Ah!

and put on a copy of Rent.