Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,525 --> 00:00:04,961
Boy, that's your second bowl.
2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,093
I'm still hungry.
3
00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:26,896
Kevin,
4
00:00:26,939 --> 00:00:29,507
why would you put this
back into the refrigerator?
5
00:00:29,551 --> 00:00:31,727
You just want somebody
to be mad at you?
6
00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:32,902
My bad.
7
00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:34,338
Yeah, it is. Observe.
8
00:00:37,515 --> 00:00:39,430
Got it? I got it.
9
00:00:39,474 --> 00:00:40,910
And, Lindsey, when you're
finished with your breakfast,
10
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:42,303
don't forget
to clean the kitchen.
11
00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:43,739
It's your week.Fine.
12
00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:47,438
I know you didn't
just roll your eyes at me.
13
00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:48,744
Yes, she did,
14
00:00:48,787 --> 00:00:50,093
and had a little
funky tone, too.
15
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:51,486
Was anybody
talking to you, Kevin?
16
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:52,704
Was anybody talking to you?
17
00:00:52,748 --> 00:00:56,056
Hey! Both of you be quiet.
18
00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:57,883
And make sure
you clean the kitchen.
19
00:00:57,927 --> 00:00:59,581
I don't want to
have to tell you again.
20
00:01:02,323 --> 00:01:05,891
Kev, your alarm has been
going off for the last hour.
21
00:01:05,935 --> 00:01:07,110
My bad.
22
00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:08,329
Yeah, your bad.
23
00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:10,461
When you get up,
you need to turn it off.
24
00:01:10,505 --> 00:01:12,289
I lose enough sleep on my own.
25
00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:14,335
I don't need any help from you.
26
00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:16,598
And, baby, next time
you use the shower,
27
00:01:16,641 --> 00:01:18,861
could you use your own
poof? You keep using mine.
28
00:01:18,904 --> 00:01:20,819
No, I'm not. I'm using mine.
29
00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:23,257
It's pink.
That's not a clue to you?
30
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,259
Look, I'm just in there
trying to get clean.
31
00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:27,130
And if that's yours,
where's mine?
32
00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:28,218
I don't know.
33
00:01:28,262 --> 00:01:30,394
What do I look like,
the poof organizer?
34
00:01:30,438 --> 00:01:32,004
Why don't you
just get a new one?
35
00:01:32,048 --> 00:01:33,745
They're in the cabinet
under the sink.
36
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,660
And while you're bending down,
37
00:01:35,704 --> 00:01:38,881
perhaps you can pick up your
funky workout clothes off the floor.
38
00:01:40,361 --> 00:01:43,277
Hey, I am not cleaning
your mess off this table.
39
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,931
Mom said clean the kitchen.
This is the kitchen.
40
00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:48,543
Mom.Kevin.
41
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,806
Boy, don't be breathing
like that to your mother.
42
00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:52,024
Where's the milk?
43
00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:53,374
Kevin drank it all.
44
00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:55,941
Wha...
45
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:57,291
You know, why
don't you just shut up?
46
00:01:57,334 --> 00:01:59,510
And I didn't drink it all.
I drank the rest.
47
00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:02,209
There's a difference. You act
like nobody had any milk but me.
48
00:02:02,252 --> 00:02:04,689
Hey, don't tell
your sister to shut up.
49
00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:06,517
Well, if she would,
I wouldn't have to.
50
00:02:06,561 --> 00:02:09,433
Kevin, I'm not telling you to watch
your tone to your mother again.
51
00:02:09,477 --> 00:02:12,828
Nick, I asked you to pick up some
milk on the way home yesterday.
52
00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:14,482
I forgot.
53
00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:16,223
And that's why you don't have
any milk. Don't blame Kevin.
54
00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,313
I didn't blame anybody.
55
00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:20,575
I just asked who drank it.
56
00:02:20,618 --> 00:02:21,837
I can't ask a question?
57
00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:29,584
♪ Are we there yet?
58
00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:33,805
♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me
59
00:02:33,849 --> 00:02:35,764
♪ Tell me, are we there yet?
60
00:02:35,807 --> 00:02:37,374
♪ Are we there yet?
61
00:02:38,332 --> 00:02:39,594
Good morning.
62
00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:41,422
Hey, um...
63
00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:44,425
Can I ask you something?
64
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,776
Usually, the question
after that question
65
00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:50,126
is one people typically
don't want to be asked,
66
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,954
so, no.
67
00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:54,348
No but... It's not like that.
68
00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:56,350
Did you ever used to
fight with your family?
69
00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:58,961
Well, when I was growing up,
we were a fighting family,
70
00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:01,268
I mean, we fought over
everything, from who left the light on
71
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:03,705
to which direction the
toilet paper should face.
72
00:03:03,748 --> 00:03:05,968
Yeah, see, the last few days,
73
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:08,449
we've just been getting
on each other's nerves.
74
00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:10,320
And I don't know
what it's about.
75
00:03:10,364 --> 00:03:14,019
It's like every little thing that
everybody is doing is driving me crazy.
76
00:03:15,064 --> 00:03:16,108
You guys,
77
00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:18,763
you should try a lemon squeeze.
78
00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:20,765
What's a lemon squeeze?
79
00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:23,986
Okay, think of your complaints and
irritations with each other as lemons.
80
00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:28,164
You squeeze them and make
the lemons into lemonade.
81
00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:31,385
Okay, but that's not
how you make lemonade.
82
00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:32,951
I mean, yeah, you have
to get the lemon juice, but...
83
00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:35,258
Okay, what you're doin'
right now, that's annoying.
84
00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:37,434
The point is,
85
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:40,698
when you mix something
bitter with water and sugar,
86
00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:42,918
you get something
sweet and tasty.
87
00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:46,269
Okay, so if the complaints
88
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,271
are the lemon juice... Right.
89
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:49,925
What's the sugar and the water?
90
00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:52,406
I don't know.
91
00:03:52,449 --> 00:03:53,929
Okay, you know what?
Just... you can just forget that.
92
00:03:53,972 --> 00:03:55,147
You know, just call
it what you want.
93
00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:56,366
The point is,
94
00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:59,761
when somebody
is getting on your nerves,
95
00:03:59,804 --> 00:04:04,026
you try and find
a nice way to tell them
96
00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:05,157
so they stop it!
97
00:04:13,035 --> 00:04:14,341
What's with the getup?
98
00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:15,559
Get used to it.
99
00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:17,953
This is the me
I have been hiding inside.
100
00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:19,868
Why would you hide
a guy in a suit?
101
00:04:19,911 --> 00:04:22,827
Because I have been running away
from the respect and responsibility
102
00:04:22,871 --> 00:04:25,090
accorded to a man
who dresses like this.
103
00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:27,702
Shying away from the look of
a man who can handle his life
104
00:04:27,745 --> 00:04:30,835
makes it easy for me to not face
the things that are right in front of me
105
00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:31,923
and handle them
106
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:34,056
in a mature and responsible way.
107
00:04:35,449 --> 00:04:36,798
Sit down for a second, man.
108
00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,151
Okay, what's with
the head massage?
109
00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:44,414
You know, you can have a
concussion and not even know it.
110
00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:46,329
I don't have a concussion.
111
00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:47,548
Where are you right now?
112
00:04:47,591 --> 00:04:48,723
I don't have a concussion.
113
00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:49,898
What's your name?
114
00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:51,247
I don't have a concussion.
115
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,335
How many fingers
am I holding up?
116
00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:54,511
Dude. Okay, what's her name?
117
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,557
Tammy.
118
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,299
Okay, and she likes suits.
119
00:04:59,342 --> 00:05:02,040
Oh, it's more than that.
She's a former life coach.
120
00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:05,566
You know, she was telling me some stuff
about myself that was pretty on the mark.
121
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:08,873
So, I've decided I'm going to take
her advice and see what happens.
122
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,484
Wait, a life coach.
123
00:05:10,527 --> 00:05:11,746
Mmm. What is that?
124
00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:14,183
I mean, a basketball
coach, I get it.
125
00:05:14,226 --> 00:05:15,967
A football coach, I get it.
126
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:18,361
But how does a life coach work?
127
00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:20,407
Yep, come here. Come here.
Bring it in. Bring it in.
128
00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:21,930
Bring it in. Bring it in.
Come on. Come on!
129
00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:23,235
So, Charlie Sheen,
130
00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,890
everybody thinks
you're on drugs, all right?
131
00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:28,371
You lost your show,
you lost your kids,
132
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:31,548
and your women left you
and your stage show sucks.
133
00:05:31,592 --> 00:05:34,377
But we can still
win this one, Charlie Sheen.
134
00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:35,857
Remember Platoon?
135
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:37,859
Remember Wall Street?
136
00:05:37,902 --> 00:05:39,948
Remember Hot Shots! Part Deux?
137
00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:42,167
People love you, Charlie Sheen!
138
00:05:42,211 --> 00:05:43,430
And we're gonna show 'em why.
139
00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:46,084
On three.
One, two, three, winning!
140
00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:51,176
If you are through
mocking an American icon,
141
00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:53,004
I'm gonna head over
to meet her at No Hitter's.
142
00:05:53,048 --> 00:05:54,266
She gets off in an hour.
143
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:55,572
You meeting her
over there for drinks?
144
00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:57,487
No, no, no. She works there.
145
00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:01,404
Wait,
she's a waitress/life coach?
146
00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:02,927
Mmm-hmm.
147
00:06:02,971 --> 00:06:05,321
What, all the bartenders/financial
advisors were taken?
148
00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:18,334
Hey, baby.
149
00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:25,080
Nick, we need to talk.
150
00:06:25,515 --> 00:06:26,603
Uh-oh.
151
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:28,649
Uh-oh, what?
152
00:06:28,692 --> 00:06:31,260
Whenever a woman says,
"We need to talk,"
153
00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:34,872
it usually means it's something that
the man does not want to talk about.
154
00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:37,397
You know the messed-up
thing about that?
155
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:41,357
Is that men do not have one
trick that works the same way.
156
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,490
I mean, I can't
come in here like,
157
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:44,926
"Honey, we need to get naked,"
158
00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:46,536
and you like,
"Uh-oh, what did I do?"
159
00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:48,538
And I say, "Well, get naked,
and I'll explain it to you."
160
00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:50,627
And then you're like... Okay, okay, I get it.
161
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,368
You don't want to talk.
162
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,414
I will... 'cause I love you.
163
00:06:55,893 --> 00:06:57,460
Did you see those
clothes on the floor?
164
00:06:57,982 --> 00:06:59,157
Yeah.
165
00:06:59,201 --> 00:07:00,420
Why didn't you pick 'em up?
166
00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:03,901
They're not my clothes. So, that's it?
167
00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:06,034
That's what? Nick!
168
00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:09,994
I wanted you to see how it feels when
your stuff is laying all over the place.
169
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:11,909
Oh!
170
00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:14,390
So, that's revenge?
171
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,652
Yes. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
172
00:07:16,697 --> 00:07:18,263
Is this the talk?
173
00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:19,526
Yes, this is the talk.
174
00:07:21,397 --> 00:07:24,487
Baby, if you wanted to talk,
175
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:27,534
see, you can't get
revenge first, all right?
176
00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:31,407
Martin Luther King did not spend five
years smacking white people around,
177
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,800
then decide he wanted to talk.
178
00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:34,454
Wait,
179
00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:35,890
have you heard of
a lemon squeeze?
180
00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:37,848
No, what's that?
181
00:07:37,892 --> 00:07:40,111
Okay, it's where you all
sit together and you talk
182
00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:43,332
and you get whatever is
bothering you off your chest.
183
00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:45,726
You turn lemons into lemonade.
184
00:07:46,944 --> 00:07:48,337
How is drinking lemonade
185
00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:50,295
supposed to
keep us from arguing?
186
00:07:50,339 --> 00:07:53,864
Nick, you don't
drink lemonade, okay?
187
00:07:53,908 --> 00:07:56,780
The lemons are the
problems. It's complicated.
188
00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,652
I think it's a good idea.
189
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,175
You know what, sweetie?
190
00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:02,307
Um, how do you know
it's gonna work
191
00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:04,266
if you can't even explain it?
192
00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:08,313
How do you know
that it's not gonna work
193
00:08:08,357 --> 00:08:10,533
if you don't try it?
194
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:15,146
Look, I have never bungee
jumped out of a helicopter, either,
195
00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:18,193
but I know... that if I do...
196
00:08:18,236 --> 00:08:20,108
there'll be a slight chance...
197
00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:22,589
I might bump my
head against the ground.
198
00:08:25,853 --> 00:08:27,158
What? What you got, huh?
199
00:08:27,202 --> 00:08:28,595
Make a move. Make one.
200
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:30,074
Here. Go on, sucka.
201
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:39,475
Come on, man. You don't
have to prove anything to me.
202
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,042
If you like her, you like her.
203
00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:42,696
But you're gonna love her.
204
00:08:43,871 --> 00:08:45,525
Hey! Hey, babe.
205
00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:48,397
Tam, this is Nick.
206
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,660
Wow, in the flesh.
207
00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:52,183
It's so great to meet you.
208
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:54,446
I was telling Martin,
you're great for him.
209
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:57,058
I mean, he's had a lot of
going-nowhere, good-for-nothing,
210
00:08:57,101 --> 00:08:58,973
half-cocked crackpots
running through his life
211
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,496
like brides
at a wedding dress sale.
212
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,932
True. But you, you're like,
213
00:09:01,976 --> 00:09:03,978
probably the most
stable person he's ever known.
214
00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:06,807
Tammy, can I ask you a question?
215
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:07,982
Shoot.
216
00:09:08,025 --> 00:09:09,592
Martin says you
used to be a life coach.
217
00:09:11,725 --> 00:09:12,943
I did.
218
00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:15,511
How are you supposed to
just meet somebody
219
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,252
and then, out of the blue,
220
00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:19,602
start telling them how they're
supposed to change their life?
221
00:09:19,646 --> 00:09:21,909
I mean, and why would
anybody take you seriously
222
00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:23,954
when you gave it up
to become a waitress?
223
00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:25,695
Hey, hey. Tam, I'm sorry.
224
00:09:25,739 --> 00:09:27,567
No, no. It's okay. I get that.
225
00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:32,441
What are you,
close to 40, right?
226
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,617
Ish.
227
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,227
Ish, right.
228
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,100
You look like
you're in pretty good shape.
229
00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:42,103
I mean, not in
as good enough shape
230
00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:44,409
to have actually made a
career out of being an athlete,
231
00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:45,672
but enough to get compliments
232
00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:47,848
from people who aren't
in as good a shape as you.
233
00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:50,285
What was your sport?
234
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:51,808
Football.
235
00:09:51,852 --> 00:09:54,158
Ah... football.
236
00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:56,726
It's crazy
that failing at football
237
00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:58,728
is probably the best thing
that ever happened to you
238
00:09:58,772 --> 00:10:00,382
because you had to grow up
239
00:10:00,425 --> 00:10:01,775
as soon as you learned dreams
don't necessarily come true.
240
00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:04,168
Mmm-hmm. Ding, ding.
241
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:05,996
You know what,
you're a great dad,
242
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:09,347
which makes sense, because there
is something you can brag about.
243
00:10:09,391 --> 00:10:12,133
You're the man of the house,
and that feels good.
244
00:10:12,176 --> 00:10:13,308
How am I doing?
245
00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:15,702
All right, I guess.
246
00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:17,965
Oh...
247
00:10:18,008 --> 00:10:20,794
there we go,
a little sensitive about it?
248
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:23,318
You don't need to be. You should be
proud. Keep doing what you're doing,
249
00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:25,059
Nick, you're a good man.
250
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,932
But you don't know everything.
251
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,151
See, I quit being a life coach
252
00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:31,631
because people get
too defensive,
253
00:10:31,674 --> 00:10:35,286
and I learned most people
really don't want help.
254
00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:37,027
So, now, when I tell
people something,
255
00:10:37,071 --> 00:10:38,594
I don't have to care
if they get defensive or not.
256
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,031
All I care about
is getting your order right.
257
00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:43,555
Martin, chicken club for you.Mmm-hmm.
258
00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:45,427
And let me guess.
259
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:48,299
Turkey burger on wheat
with avocado?
260
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:50,867
Yeah.
261
00:10:51,955 --> 00:10:53,087
I'll be right back.
262
00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:56,786
I know.
263
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,966
Okay, so this is how it works.
264
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:05,447
Earlier, I had you
all write down
265
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:07,667
complaints or questions
or what you wanted to say
266
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:09,451
and who you wanted to say it to,
267
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:11,671
but not who the comment is from.
268
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:14,674
Now, the goal is for
everyone to voice their feelings
269
00:11:14,717 --> 00:11:18,721
and for each individual not to take
it as a personal attack, Suzanne.
270
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,680
Now, when a comment
is directed to you,
271
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:23,726
you simply say, "I accept that."
272
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:25,467
I accept that.
273
00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:27,121
And "Thank you."
274
00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:28,383
And thank you.
275
00:11:28,426 --> 00:11:29,558
Very good!
276
00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:31,212
Okay, so, remember,
277
00:11:31,255 --> 00:11:33,910
your problems are like lemons.
278
00:11:33,954 --> 00:11:36,957
Um, I'm still not getting that
whole lemon/lemonade thing.
279
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,524
Yeah, me either.
So, are the complaints lemons?
280
00:11:39,568 --> 00:11:40,830
Yes, the complaints are lemons.
281
00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:42,789
So, we're trying
to make lemonade,
282
00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:45,400
but in order to make lemonade,
you need sugar and water.
283
00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:46,488
Where does that come in?
284
00:11:46,531 --> 00:11:47,663
Now, that's what I said.
285
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:48,969
It doesn't make sense.
286
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,106
Ma, what are you doing here?
287
00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:57,891
Did you start
your lemon squeeze yet?
288
00:11:57,934 --> 00:12:00,458
Marilyn, how did you
find out about this?
289
00:12:00,502 --> 00:12:01,851
Suzanne, right?
290
00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:03,635
Meet my son, Nick.
291
00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:06,726
I have just a few things
that I want you all to know.
292
00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:08,162
Now, number one:
293
00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:10,338
Please don't call me up
complaining about your wife.
294
00:12:10,381 --> 00:12:11,731
It's just annoying.
295
00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:14,298
Number two:
296
00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:16,561
someone,
who shall remain nameless,
297
00:12:16,605 --> 00:12:18,433
needs to learn how to
improve their cooking
298
00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:20,478
if they want me to keep
coming over to eat on Sundays.
299
00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:23,568
Number three... Marilyn,
300
00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:25,440
this is not how
a lemon squeeze works.
301
00:12:25,483 --> 00:12:26,528
I don't care.
302
00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:33,448
All right, so, so far, so good.
303
00:12:33,491 --> 00:12:36,581
Lindsey, this one is for you.
304
00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:39,541
Lindsey, I wish you would
stop rolling your eyes.
305
00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:41,195
Okay, Mom. I'll work on it.
306
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:43,240
I didn't write that.
307
00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:44,981
Okay, whatever you say.
308
00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:46,940
Lindsey, you're supposed to say,
309
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:48,855
"I accept that, and thank you."
310
00:12:48,898 --> 00:12:50,508
I accept that, and thank you.
311
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:53,990
This one's for you, Dad.
312
00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:57,211
Dad, I wish you could take
me to more soccer games.
313
00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:59,082
Really, Kevin?
That's your issue?
314
00:12:59,126 --> 00:13:00,518
I didn't write that.
315
00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:02,477
And besides, I thought the
person it was addressed to,
316
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:05,001
was supposed to say, "I
accept that, and thank you."
317
00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:08,439
I accept that, and thanks...
318
00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:09,832
to whoever wrote that.
319
00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:12,400
This one is for Lindsey.
320
00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:16,708
Lindsey, can you cover
your face with a paper bag
321
00:13:16,752 --> 00:13:18,754
in the morning,
afternoon and evening?
322
00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:23,759
What? That wasn't me.
323
00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:32,202
Suzanne, you can be
a little loud and demanding.
324
00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:34,596
It sounds like nagging.
325
00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:36,685
Well, I wouldn't
have to nag if peop...
326
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:40,428
I accept that, and thank you.
327
00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:46,869
Suzanne, you always
have to get your way.
328
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:49,524
That is not true, I don't
always have to get my way...
329
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:51,265
Suzanne, accept...
330
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,615
Yeah, yeah. I accept. Thanks.
331
00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:58,838
Suzanne, you can be
very judgmental.
332
00:13:59,969 --> 00:14:01,623
Really?
333
00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:05,757
Suzanne, Mom,
Suzanne, Mom, oh, oh, oh.
334
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:08,978
So, there's nothing wrong with
anybody in this family besides me?
335
00:14:09,022 --> 00:14:10,632
Did you write this? Huh, huh?
336
00:14:10,675 --> 00:14:12,764
This whole thing was supposed
to be anonymous, remember?
337
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:14,810
Oh, give me a break, okay?
338
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,117
Everybody knows
who wrote what, all right?
339
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,641
This one's you, this one's you.
340
00:14:19,684 --> 00:14:21,251
Oh, this one is mine.
341
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:24,864
But you know what? Let's
just get down to it, shall we?
342
00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:28,519
I do not accept that I am a nag.
343
00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:31,609
And maybe if you guys
just listened to what I tell you,
344
00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:33,002
then I wouldn't have to nag.
345
00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:34,786
Oh, that's what...
I'm here listening to you.
346
00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:36,527
This whole thing was your idea.
347
00:14:36,571 --> 00:14:37,964
I never wanted
to do this in the first place.
348
00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:39,835
Fine, then maybe
we're just done.
349
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,010
I'm going for a walk.
350
00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:42,185
I'm going upstairs.
351
00:14:42,229 --> 00:14:43,578
I don't have time for this.
352
00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,887
So... does this mean
we don't get lemonade?
353
00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:55,111
Morning. Good morning.
354
00:14:55,155 --> 00:14:56,591
Hey, how was the lemon squeeze?
355
00:14:57,418 --> 00:15:00,247
Well, let's just say
356
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:03,467
you've had worse ideas, but,
presently, I can't think of one.
357
00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:06,993
What about the time I responded
to that email from the Nigerian prince
358
00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:09,125
and I gave him
all my account information?
359
00:15:09,169 --> 00:15:11,954
I'm talking about bad ideas
that you gave to me,
360
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:13,825
not bad ideas
that you had for yourself.
361
00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:15,784
Oh, sorry. That bad?
362
00:15:15,827 --> 00:15:17,307
Yeah, it was horrible.
363
00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:19,831
We ended up in a bigger fight
than before we had any help.
364
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,747
Did this work when you tried it?
365
00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:24,314
No.What?
366
00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:27,404
Well, it was just a suggestion.
I never said it worked.
367
00:15:27,448 --> 00:15:32,757
Gigi, why would you suggest
something if you knew it was gonna fail?
368
00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:34,803
It was a horrible idea.
369
00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:37,197
It's like when
they sent Shaq to Phoenix
370
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,460
or when
they sent Shaq to Cleveland.
371
00:15:39,503 --> 00:15:41,288
Or when
they sent Shaq to Boston.
372
00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:43,681
Who's Shaq?
373
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,078
Look, man, I don't know
if this is the right idea.
374
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:51,167
Look, man, you are
my friend, all right?
375
00:15:51,211 --> 00:15:53,039
I need help!
376
00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:55,345
And if she is anywhere near as
good as she came off the other day,
377
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:56,433
she is just the person to do it.
378
00:15:56,477 --> 00:15:57,478
Now, sit down.
379
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,046
Hey...
380
00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:03,223
Let me guess,
you're not here for food.
381
00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:04,746
You're right. I need help.
382
00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:06,487
Oh... no.
383
00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:08,010
Tam, this was not my idea.
384
00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:10,447
Man, when will I learn
to keep my big mouth shut?
385
00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:13,059
Tam, you don't need to do this. Yes, you do, Tammy.
386
00:16:13,102 --> 00:16:15,278
You're not a waitress.
You're denying yourself.
387
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:17,063
Your true calling
is to help people.
388
00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:18,673
Mmm... no...
389
00:16:18,716 --> 00:16:21,023
Yeah... and I'm people.
390
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,894
And I need your help.
391
00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:25,419
Tammy, why don't you go get us some
beer, okay? That's all we need, beer.
392
00:16:25,462 --> 00:16:26,681
Beers. Tammy!
393
00:16:26,724 --> 00:16:28,378
What? What do you want?
394
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:32,121
No!
395
00:16:32,165 --> 00:16:36,212
My family is fighting.
Can you help us, please?
396
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:38,345
Okay.
397
00:16:41,696 --> 00:16:44,046
Do not introduce me
to any more of your friends.
398
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:45,265
You got me? Yeah.
399
00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:56,102
You brought a waitress
to help solve our problems?
400
00:16:56,145 --> 00:16:59,279
I thought maybe that
someone with her experience
401
00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:02,586
could help train us to solve some of the
communication problems we've been having.
402
00:17:05,807 --> 00:17:07,548
Suzanne,
403
00:17:07,591 --> 00:17:11,030
why don't you tell me
404
00:17:12,553 --> 00:17:14,120
what it is that's bothering you.
405
00:17:14,163 --> 00:17:17,514
Fine. Uh, lately, we've
been at each other's throats.
406
00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:21,475
This one here won't do her
chores and never stops texting.
407
00:17:21,518 --> 00:17:23,912
You are so exaggerating.
408
00:17:23,955 --> 00:17:27,046
And Kevin lets his alarm go all
morning, and he's not even there.
409
00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:29,004
Yeah, and he
drinks all the milk.
410
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,310
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
411
00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:31,920
I drank the last of the milk.
412
00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:34,444
The last of it.
There's a difference, people.
413
00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:38,796
And Nick always leaves his
nasty, funky, dirty workout clothes
414
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,494
all over the bathroom floor.
415
00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:42,757
You know, you shouldn't say
always. Shouldn't say always.
416
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,672
Thank you.
417
00:17:44,715 --> 00:17:47,718
Okay, you see how we're all
snippy and short with each other?
418
00:17:47,762 --> 00:17:49,677
The truth is, most
families are dysfunctional.
419
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,201
You're four people with
varying degrees of intelligence,
420
00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:54,725
all trying to get along
under the same roof.
421
00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:56,684
Varying degrees of intelligence?
422
00:17:56,727 --> 00:17:58,294
What's that supposed to mean?
423
00:17:58,338 --> 00:18:01,123
It means she thinks some of
us are smarter than others of us.
424
00:18:03,778 --> 00:18:06,955
Are you implying
that some of us are stupid?
425
00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,176
All I'm saying
426
00:18:10,219 --> 00:18:12,874
is that you have kids and adults
427
00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:15,877
all living under
the same roof all day.
428
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,879
Of course
you're gonna have problems.
429
00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:19,533
Okay, so, how can we fix them?
430
00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:22,057
Well,
431
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:25,887
you can begin by figuring
out exactly what it is you want.
432
00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:28,759
I want Nick to pick up
his clothes off the floor.
433
00:18:28,803 --> 00:18:32,415
I want Lindsey to do her
chores and stop texting.
434
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:34,765
And I want Kevin
not to drink all the milk.
435
00:18:34,809 --> 00:18:36,463
Whoa, not this again.
436
00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:39,857
Okay, people, I drank the
last of the milk, the last of it.
437
00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:41,381
There is a difference.
438
00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:43,644
Say it with me, "last."
439
00:18:43,687 --> 00:18:45,211
L-A-S-T. La...
440
00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:52,131
You want Lindsey
to stop texting so much
441
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,655
and Kevin to stop
drinking all the milk.Wha...
442
00:18:54,698 --> 00:18:57,527
Sorry! The last of the milk. Thank you.
443
00:18:57,571 --> 00:19:01,662
But what I'm really hearing is that you want
your kids to stop being so inconsiderate.
444
00:19:01,705 --> 00:19:04,795
I wouldn't call
our kids inconsiderate.
445
00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:06,710
Yeah.
446
00:19:06,754 --> 00:19:09,452
All you need to do is start thinking
about each other a little more.
447
00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:11,193
Hold on.
448
00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:13,326
But see, that's just
a veiled way of saying
449
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:15,110
that they're inconsiderate.
450
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:18,113
And I want to have you know that
we have raised these children well.
451
00:19:18,679 --> 00:19:20,159
Yeah.
452
00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:21,986
Suzanne, we agreed
to let her do this.
453
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:23,379
No, I didn't. You did.
454
00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:25,164
Okay...
455
00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:27,035
You see, this is why I stopped
being a life coach in the first place.
456
00:19:27,078 --> 00:19:28,210
People get too defensive.
457
00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:29,690
I'm not being defensive. Yes, you are.
458
00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:31,126
No, I'm not. Yes, you are.
459
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,693
No, I'm not. What do you call it?
460
00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:34,434
I don't know what you call
it, but I'm not being defensive.
461
00:19:34,477 --> 00:19:36,218
What for?
462
00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:38,002
Suzanne,
she came here to help us.
463
00:19:38,046 --> 00:19:39,308
It's not working.
464
00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:40,657
Why are you trippin'?
465
00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:42,572
I'm not tripping.
Just ask her for the check.
466
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:48,056
Martin. Oh, hey, Tammy.
467
00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:51,581
Um, listen,
I'm glad I caught you.
468
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:54,193
Um, listen.
469
00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:57,152
You're a good woman, and
you are a great life coach.
470
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,415
Ha!
471
00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:02,288
You made me realize
just what a catch I am.
472
00:20:02,331 --> 00:20:06,335
I have never felt so empowered
or had so much self-confidence.
473
00:20:06,379 --> 00:20:07,597
Martin.
474
00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:09,773
Yeah.
475
00:20:09,817 --> 00:20:11,819
See, you've made me think
maybe I shouldn't settle
476
00:20:11,862 --> 00:20:14,735
for what's in front of me,
what's easy.
477
00:20:14,778 --> 00:20:18,260
I should, uh, challenge
myself and go for the gold.
478
00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:22,917
You're breaking up with me?
479
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:25,963
Tammy, listen, you've helped
me so much. Now, let me help you.
480
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:30,620
When you love something,
you have to set it free.
481
00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:33,884
Even if that thing immediately
changes its phone number
482
00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:35,321
and blocks you on Facebook.
483
00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:38,585
I don't believe this!
484
00:20:40,848 --> 00:20:43,503
First you guys, and now you!
485
00:20:43,546 --> 00:20:47,463
This is why I hated being a
life coach in the first place.
486
00:20:47,507 --> 00:20:51,162
From now on, I'm not
offering my advice to anyone!
487
00:20:54,078 --> 00:20:56,124
I hope your lives suck!
488
00:21:00,128 --> 00:21:01,651
That went well. Yeah.
36275
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof