All language subtitles for Are.We.There.Yet.S03E07.The.Susan.Gets.Arrested.Episode.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-FLUX_track3_[eng]

Are you sure
she won't know it's me calling?

Positive. I put in a fake number
with a Connecticut area code.

Good, because I can't stand her.

She's, like, one of the
meanest girls in my class.

Hello? Brittany?

Yes?

If I were you, I wouldn't go
out with your friends tonight.

What? Why not?

Because you're a grenade
that's about to explode.

Who is this?

It's the telephone terrorist.
You just got got.

What are you guys doing?

Um, nothing. Just going over
some stuff for school.Yeah.

Have you talked to your mother?

I've been trying to get ahold of
her, and she's usually home by now.

Nope.Mm-mm.

Knock, knock.

Hey, Terrence. I didn't know
you were coming over.

Now you know.

Hey, have y'all seen anything out
of the ordinary in this neighborhood?

No, why? What's wrong?

We're tracking
a possible hostile operative.

Oh, Lindsey's hostile. Why don't
you just take her and call it a day?

It sounds serious, man. TERRENCE:
It is serious, Nick,

and we'll let you know more
once we get a lock on his location.

So if you see
any suspicious activity,

let me know.

What would be considered
suspicious activity?

Asking too many damn questions.

Hello.

What's up, Gigi?
Is Suzanne with you?

What? How? Is she okay?

Dad, what's wrong?

Your mother's in jail. What?

♪ Are we there yet?

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me

♪ Tell me, are we there yet?

♪ Are we there yet?

Okay, listen, all I know is, I
took my car in for an oil change,

and then suddenly, one of
my brake lights isn't working.

Yes, oh, yes, I know
that changing the oil

has nothing to do
with the brake lights.

Listen, I know, I'm right.

Then why don't you just let
me speak to your supervisor?

Then how about I speak
to his supervisor?

Then how about I talk to your mama
and tell her how you're behaving?

Hello? Hello!

Let me get this straight. You want
this guy to do something for you

and you think the best way to get
him to do that is by insulting him?

No, what I want is for him to do
something for me because I'm right.

According to who? According to me.

Come on, baby.

We've been through this
before, all right?

You think because
you're little and cute,

you can go around yelling
at people and demanding things.

Nick, no, I don't.

Yes, you do. And it
works. Sometimes.

But, look, baby, you're on
the phone. He can't see you.

To him, you're just another
big, ugly person yelling things.

All right? Look, why don't
you just stop talking and listen?

And what am I supposed to be
listening to? That fool?

If you want your car fixed.

Look, baby,
I'm not saying he's right,

I'm guessing he's
just doing his job.

He probably hears stuff like
this from people all the time.

Why would he think
you're any different?

Because I told him I was.

There you go again.

That is not how
you deal with people.

Oh, you know what? Don't
tell me how to deal with people.

I deal with people all the time.

Dealing with people
is my business.

If anybody knows how
to deal with people, it's me.

Especially if you want them to
slam the phone down in your face.

That's a slam.

Gigi. Hmm?

Did you get these invitations
made at our regular printer?

No, I got them made...

I told you a million times,
do not use anybody else.

But when you called me
on Saturday...

It doesn't matter, okay?

This card stock is cheap,

and I'm not showing this
to the client.

May I speak now?

Yes. Thank you.

Friday, you told me we needed
them by Monday, which is today,

and I tried to tell you that it was
going to cost more for the rush job

and the client didn't want
to go over budget.

But before I could finish,

you told me the client wants them
by Monday, so have them by Monday.

No ifs, ands or buts.

And then what? And then, I laughed,
because you said butts.

And then, I okayed it with
the client, and here we are.

You could have told me this
on Saturday.

I tried, but believe it
or not, Suzanne,

sometimes you just don't listen.

Okay, well, it doesn't matter.

All right? I'm not giving this to the client,
because if they knew what they wanted,

they wouldn't have hired me
in the first place. Come on.

Where are we going? We're going
to the printer.

Well, do you want me
to drive? No.

But what about... I said I'll drive,
let's go.

What? Maybe next time
I try to tell you something,

you'll listen to me.

Now you stand there
and you think about it.

Listen, Bernard.
Where are you taking me?

Out for coffee, but I just

want you to wait here in
the cell for me until I get back.

No, no, no. You see,
I can't wait in the cell,

because they put criminals
in there.

And I'm not a criminal,
I'm a law-abiding citizen.

I pay taxes, okay.
Technically, you work for me.

That gun, that's mine.

You know what,
you should just give me that.

That was merely a suggestion,
it wasn't a threat.

Hey, listen, do you know what
could happen to me in here?

I do, but if I tell you,
it might frighten you.

Oh, hello.

Step off, Beyonce.
You better recognize.

So, what is all
this stuff anyway?

Audio surveillance.

This allows me to listen

to every phone conversation
going through the tower in this area.

So, you listen
to everybody's phone-calls?

Not everybody's.

So how will you know it's him?

Well, we got a program
that picks out the keywords.

So it gets rid
of all the nonsense,

we can concentrate
on the dangerous people.

Um, is that legal?

When you're dealing
with something like this,

the lines between legal
and illegal are blurred.

Now, was it legal for them to
kick out Paula Abdul for J.Lo? Huh?

Was it legal for them
to take Charlie Sheen's kids?

And was it legal for them
to discontinue the McRib?

Yes, technically,
all those things were legal.

So what? Point is, you
got to do what you got to do.

Now, what you got to do
is get me another juice box.

Another one? Another one.
Hurry up, man.

Or the terrorists win.

Excuse me.

Yes. I don't mean to get
in your business,

but, uh, you seem
a bit too beautiful

to be sitting around
a police station.

Thank you.

I'm Lamar. I'm Gigi.

So, Lemar. Do you work here?

Tell you what... Hm-hmm.

We could talk about
what I do and how I do it.

Ooh.

over dinner
and drinks. Ooh, I'd like that.

When?

When I get out. Oh, so when
do you get out?

In about a year.

Oh.

Hit me up, I'm on Facebook.

So what's your last name?

HeyGigi.

Where's Suzanne? The have her
in a holding cell

and they won't tell me anything.

Hold on, I'll handle this.

You gotta know how
to talk to these people.Okay.

Excuse me. Take a seat
over there, sir.

Yes, officer.

The guy we're looking for
is within a three-mile radius.

No way, that's creepy.

So, how would we know it's him?

We got lucky,
this dude is stupid, all right?

He keeps using
the same sign-off,

he calls his self the "telephone
terrorist." That's weak.

The telephone terrorist? Yeah.

He's saying something about he's a
grenade, he gonna blow people up,

using electronic stuff
on his voice.

Now, this could be some crazy,
all right, that's playing on the phone

or it could be some kid
that need a butt-whooping.

Either or, he gonna get it.

So, how're you gonna catch him?

Well, all he has to do is
use his computer one more time,

and bam, we got him.

Yeah? Bam!

We got him.

Would you stop walking
back and forth?

You look like you're
waiting for the mother ship.

God. You're making me nervous.

Well, you're making me nervous,
yelling at people. What's wrong with you?

Me? Yeah.

I'm just going to stand over here and
wait for my husband to come and get me.

Husband?

I thought you were
a street walker.

Do I look like
a street walker to you?

You know the economy
is not so good, sister.

They're selling for
a lot less these days.

Come on, sit down.

Good.

I'm Elise. I'm Suzanne.

What are you in here for?

It's a long story.

There are no long stories.

There are just short stories
that people make long.

You want to hear
the history of the world?

Sure.Bang.

Dinosaurs. Fat Oprah.
Thin Oprah. Fat Oprah.

Gayle. Us.

So what happened?

I talked back to a cop.

Ooh. See?

Short story.

Come on, we have plenty of time
here. Let's hear the long version.

Well, you know,
it was just a crazy day.

This morning, I get into a fight
with my mechanic over the phone,

because he messed up
one of my break lights.

And then I get to work only to find
out that a very important invitation

that a client had ordered
hadn't been done properly.

So as I'm driving to the printer
to go and order a new one,

the cop pulls me over,
because my brake light is out.

You didn't like that, huh? Well, no.

And I told him, "I don't need you
to tell me that my brake light is out.

"I know that my brake light is
out, and I plan on getting it fixed."

But then he starts
writing me a fix-it ticket.

Oh-ho-ho,
bet you didn't like that.

Well, no. I told him, "I
don't need your stupid ticket,

"all right, because I'm going
to get the brake light fixed."

But then I tell him, "You know
what? You're just wasting my time

"and his time."

Yeah, and I'll bet
he didn't like that.

Well, no. So then he asks where I'm
headed to, and I say, "You know what?

"It's none of your business
where I'm heading to,

"and you should just let me go and
go after the real criminals out there."

Oh yeah, absolutely right.

There are so many real
criminals out there. Justin Bieber!

Oh!

Ah! Stealing money! Do you
know what his concert tickets cost?

It's outrageous. Outrageous!

Outrageous. So go ahead. Go
ahead. Arresting criminals, go ahead.

Okay, so then, the cop
asked me if I'd been drinking.

Had you? No!

It was 10 o'clock
in the morning.

So, listen, I said,
"No, I haven't been drinking."

And I tell him he's crazy, and then
he asked me to take a sobriety test

So you know what? I was so angry,
I said, "Here's your sobriety test,"

and I blew him in the face.

You're crazy.

Well, I was upset, Elise.

Do you know they could
have taken you into a bathroom

and beaten you senseless
with a bar of soap in a sock?

Don't you...
Don't you watch Cops?

No. So, anyway. That's my story.

What's yours? Easy.

I stabbed my husband,
and I stabbed my mother-in-law.

You stabbed your husband?

And my mother-in-law.
Don't forget her.

Short story.

Um, hello, officer.

I hate to bother you.

But not so much that
you're not gonna bother me.

Um, I see you're very busy,

I was.

But I was trying to see

if I could get
my wife out of jail?

What's your wife's name?

Suzanne Kingston-Persons.

Oh, no. Her?

Gloria Allred's out
in the back there

You know she blew in an
officer's face? You don't do that.

I know. She's lucky she's little.

Or else... I'm not
saying we do this,

but we could throw her in a closet
and beat her with a bar of soap in a sock.

I mean some guys might do that.

Okay, look, officer. Look.

I am sorry
and I know she's sorry.

I was just telling her this morning
that people have jobs to do.

That's right. You know,

and they deal
with stuff all day. Don't they just?

And she does think that, because she's
little, she can say anything to anybody.

That's like my mother.

She thinks because she's old, she
can say anything to anybody, anytime.

I mean, she would curse the
Pope out if somebody would let her.

Maybe we should put the two
of them in a room and film it.

Oh, now, that's
a show I'd like to see.

Little people, big mouths.

Yeah, this looks like it's
gonna be a disorderly conduct.

You know, you're a
decent guy. Talk to her.

I'll let her out
on a personal bail.

I appreciate that.

Thank you.

Now go sit down
and don't bother me again.

Thanks, officer.

Could I give you
a little piece of advice? Sure.

You're young.
Well, actually youngish.

This is not a good
light for you at all.

But, you young people

you just think you're entitled
to have things work out for you

and when they don't,
you complain,

or you blow in a cop's face.

Either way, when you get older,
you are going to learn that sometimes

silence says
a lot more than words.

Okay, so, why stab your husband?

Because sometimes a
knife says more than silence.

Suzanne Kingston-Persons,
you're free to go.

I am? Oh! Thank goodness.

Oh. Oh, Elise, it was really lovely
meeting you. Thank you so much.

And I really do hope
everything works out for you.

My best to Jigga.

And when am I getting
out of here?

When you learn to talk to
people instead of stabbing them.

And how is the old fart?

He's gonna be fine, Mom.

Mom?

It's not so sure.
I keep telling her,

"Show me
your birth certificate."

Hey, everybody,
jail-bird's home.

Are you okay? Oh, yes, sweetheart.
I'm fine.

Did they let you keep
your orange jumpsuit?

Kevin, I wasn't wearing
an orange jumpsuit.

They just had me in a
holding cell for a little while.

Well, well, well.

If it ain't inmate 567.

I can't believe they put
your little but in jail.

Now you know how
I feel about the police.

Yeah, we know.

Okay. I gotta get going.

That's if you're through
settin' it off.

Hey, Terrence,
is everything all right?

Oh, don't worry. We're
tracking a possible terrorist.

What? I said "possible,"
calm down.

We got it under control.
Now what's that?

Okay, babe. You look
and I'll keep an eye on him.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, that's a new picture
I put up of me and the kids.

I love that frame. It is so
nice. Mason? Don't worry. Ciao.

Bye. All right, have
a good one. Have a good one.

So, Mom. What happened.
What did you do?

Uh, well,

I talked back
to a police officer.

Wow. So, Mom, since you talked
back to a cop who's an authority figure,

does that mean that I'm
allowed to talk back to you?

Why don't you try it
and see what happens.

I know one thing that won't
happen to me. I won't go to jail.

But you might
go to the hospital.

All right, so on that note, why
don't you kids go get ready for bed?

Okay. All right.

Good night.

You know, honey, uh,
she does have a point.

You know?

What point would that be?

Well, how can you expect our kids
to know when to stop talking and listen

when their own mother goes
to jail, because she can't do it?

It's two
different things. No, it's not.

The only reason you're out of there
is because I was polite to that cop.

Look, she talked. I listened. She told me
what she wanted to tell me. I didn't argue.

Oh, really? Really.

So, is that what you want?

You want me to just listen and never
argue like some Russian mail-order bride?

Yeah, that would be nice
for a change. Yeah.

Okay.

That's what you want?

That's what you gonna get.

Hey, honey, do you know what's
wrong with the computer? It's not working.

No, I do not.

Kevin, do you know what's
wrong with the computer?

It won't turn on.

Oh, uh...

Lindsey, what's up
with the computer?

It was working fine yesterday.

Did you do something to it?

Me?

No, I just did computer stuff.

Like tapping on
the keys and... stuff.

Mom, can we have pancakes
for breakfast?

No, we had pancakes yesterday.
I want bacon and eggs.

Well, I was going to have
yogurt and fruit,

but that's okay.
I'll make all three.

You will?

Yes, why wouldn't I?

No, your mom is not going to make three
breakfasts, all right? It's not a diner.

Well, what should I make, then?

Uh, bacon and eggs.

Okay, then. Everybody is
going to have bacon and eggs.

I thought you were having
fruit and yogurt.

I was, but now
I'm having bacon and eggs.

You know what? On second
thought, I'll just have some yogurt.

Honey, would you still like
to have bacon and eggs?

Because if that's what you
want, that's what I'll make,

because that's what you want.

No, thanks.

Okay.

Come on, shoot
the three, you got it.

Oh, that's a flop.
That's... Come on.

Obvious.

Hello.

I didn't know you were in here.

You want to watch TV?
We can go in my office.

No, I'll go upstairs.

Are you sure? Yes, I am.

Okay, I don't know
what's going on here,

but that was creepy.

That's exactly how women act right before
they appear in an episode of Snapped.

I talked to her after
she got out of jail.

All I said was I thought it would
be better if she would listen

and not argue all the time, but
now she just agrees with everything.

You say that like
it's a bad thing.

That's all it took,
just talking to her?

I guess so.

I have got to remember that.

Talk to them.

Finally.

Dad, what are you doing?

I fixed the computer. It had
a bunch of loose wires or...

No, no, turn it off now, quick!

We live here!

What is going on here?

Ma'am, we have reason to believe
that this man is the Telephone Terrorist.

Telephone Terrorist?

You got the wrong guy!
Baby, tell 'em.

You know, I'm listening
to this man,

and I understand that he
may have to take you to jail,

but he's just doing his job.

What?

We appreciate
your cooperation, ma'am.

No problem.

Now, if everything checks out,
he'll be home in a few hours,

and if not, well,
we were never here.

Take him out of here! Let's go!

But, Suzanne! Come here, baby!