Original subtitles

Okay, babe, I spoke to the hotel,

and they're gonna have an early check-in for us.

Did you print out the boarding passes?

I'll do it right after we finish this game.

Can you do it right now, please?

I want to get all this stuff done. That way, in the morning,

all we have to do is wake up and go.

Ooh, good shot, baby.Thanks.

Everything will get done. We have plenty of time.

Oh!

But this is important, you know?

I don't want anything to go wrong.

It's not every day that somebody gets asked to sing

the national anthem at a professional baseball game.

Yes, it is. You know what I mean.

Ooh, get that one, baby.

You know, I still can't believe, out of all the people who entered the contest,

that they chose Lindsey.

Why not? Ooh, you better pay attention.

Your sister has a beautiful voice.

Okay, now that the mission is finally over,

can you get started on this one?

Thank you.

Hey, sweetheart. Hey, Mom.

Are you getting excited?

I guess. You never really know you don't know the words to the national anthem

until somebody asks you to sing it.

♪ Oh, say, can you see

♪ By the dawn's early night

Where the heck did I get that?

Oh, you have brain damage. It's okay.

Kev, cut it out.

♪ And the rocket's red glare

♪ The bombs bursting in air

♪ Gave doo-doo the night

♪ And a bag of pig hair

Mom.

Kevin,

do you want to have to clean your sister's room for the rest of the month?

Mom, I'm just playing with her.

I mean, besides, what's she gonna do

when there's a stadium full of 30,000 people,

and a viewing audience of millions watching?

What is that?

Oh, it's my chili dog I didn't eat the other day.

You kept that?

Why would you throw away a perfectly good chili dog?

Well, Kevin, eat, and leave your sister alone.

She's nervous.

I think Lindsey's gonna do great.

You're just setting up the printer right now?

Yeah, I had to take it from my office.

All right, Kevin, after you're done eating,

I need you to go upstairs,

take a bath and get into bed.

We are on the first flight out of here in the morning.

We have to be up at 5:00 a.m.

and out of this house by 6:30,

or we're not gonna make it.

Where are you going?

To bed.

If everybody's got to be up at 5:00,

I'm gonna get up at 4:30 to make sure everybody's up at 5:00.

Did you wash your clothes? Yeah.

What about the boarding passes?

I can do it in the morning. It just takes two minutes.

That's why I'm getting up at 4:30, baby.

Oh, my God. Nick! Wake up!

It's 4:30?It's 6:07!

It's 6:07?

It's 6:08!It's 6:08?

We have to be out of this house in 22 minutes.

It's 6:22?

♪ Are we there yet?

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me

♪ Tell me, are we there yet?

♪ Are we there yet?

Nick!

How'd you get dressed so fast?

I laid my clothes out.

Where's the camera? It's right there.

Not this one, the other one.

Kevin, Lindsey, what are you guys doing down here?

Dad told us to come eat.

How come you're not dressed? Huh?

Kevin, get up.

Here's the camera.

Is it charged?

I don't know. Kevin, is the camera charged?

I don't know, turn it on.

Turn it on.

What happens if it doesn't turn on?

It's not charged. It's not charged.

Well, all I have to do is plug it in.

I'll leave it on the charger till we go.

What comes after "Rocket's red glare"?

"The bombs bursting in air."

Which one is it? The one without the cord.

It's the one without the cord.

Babe, how much charge are we gonna get before we leave?

More than we would get if I didn't charge it at all.

Okay, Kevin, Lindsey, you don't have time to just be sitting around.

I need you to go upstairs and get dressed.

I want you ready in ten minutes.

Ten minutes? Fine, nine, go.

Why did you bring them down here, anyway?

I told them to eat and get dressed.

I didn't know what order they would do it in.

Kevin, go!

I feel sick. No, you don't.

Yes, I do. My stomach hurts.

Oh, like your stomach was hurt when you had that assignment due last week,

or when I asked you to clean your room?

What can I say? I have a delicate constitution.

Go take your delicate constitution

and put some clothes on it, man.

Did you print the boarding passes?

Oh, I was getting ready to do it right now.

What airline?

Nick, airblue!

And where's your suitcase? I didn't see it in the hallway.

I haven't packed yet.

I was gonna do it when I woke up.

Airblue?

Yes!

Lindsey?

What are you doing? You need to get dressed.

Maybe we shouldn't go. Waking up late could be a sign.

The only thing it's a sign of

is your father hitting the snooze button one too many times.

He was supposed to be up at 4:30.

He hit it a lot of times.

Well, maybe it's a sign that things will go well

even if they don't go exactly how we planned.

Confirmation and print.

And print.

But what if I suck or forget the words, like Christina Aguilera?

Forget them?

I'm not so sure she ever knew them.

Honey, you're gonna be great.

And you're gonna sing wonderfully.

Performing live is scary.

Anything could happen. Remember Janet Jackson?

Yes, and if Justin Timberlake gets anywhere near you,

your father will kill him.

Now, go get ready.

Okay.Okay.

Baby.

Have you seen an extra printer cartridge?

Baby,

I love you,

but if I could choke you right now, I would.

Why didn't you do this last night?

I didn't know the printer was out of ink.

If you had done this last night, you would have known.

Why don't we just check in at the airport?

Because, honey, this flight is full.

And in order to make up for the time that we've already lost,

we need to have our boarding passes with us.

I put the printer cartridges in your office.

Can you get them for me?

Yes. Go pack.

Thank you, baby. Right now.

I love you. Yeah, yeah.

Thank you.

Kevin! What are you doing, man?

I'm dizzy.

Come on, man, this is no time to be playing around.

I'm not playing.

Kevin, look.

Maybe you don't feel good,

but all you have to do is throw some things into the suitcase,

get in the car, and ride to the airport.

All right.

Good.

Look, now, finish packing this bag,

and I'll be back in a few minutes.

Come on.

Where are my clothes?

Align the arrow and push down.

Nick. I thought you did your wash.

I did wash.

I just didn't dry.

Those aren't gonna get dry.

They'll get drier than they would if I didn't put them in at all.

The charger theory.

Exactly.

Mom, did you iron my dress?

Nick, did you iron Lindsey's dress like I asked you to?

Where is it?

Ta-da!

Your father's doing it right now, sweetheart.

And can you please check on Kevin?

All right.

Excuse me.

Come on, Kevin. Get up, man, you ain't that sick.

Babe, can you help me with this?

Not now. Kevin is sick.

What?

He threw up on Lindsey's dress.

What was her dress doing near his mouth

when I asked you to iron it?

Is my dress ready?

Sweetheart, we need to find you something else to wear.

How come I have to wear something else?

That dress was approved by the team, and plus, I look cute in it.

You sure she can't wear this?

I mean, it'll just take me five minutes?

Is that my dress? What happened to it?

Your brother threw up on it. What?

Nick, we don't have five minutes.

Sweetheart, your brother's sick.

Fine, four.Nick.

Three.

Why does he always have to ruin everything?

Why don't you go look for something else?

If I don't get this clean in two minutes,

I'll forget about it. I got to wait on my clothes anyway.

Fine, two minutes. Go for it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What?

What are we gonna do about Kevin?

Call your mother. See if she can watch him.

Where's my phone?

I don't know. Just use the house phone.

I don't know the number. It's on speed dial.

You don't know your own mother's number?

Look, you gonna make me feel guilty or are you gonna help me find my phone?

Why don't you just call it?

The phone? Your phone.

You don't know your own number, do you?

Do you know yours?

We're not talking about me.

What do I have to do, pin a note to your sleeve?

Goodness gracious.

Hi, this is Marilyn.

I'm out of the country right now,

but if you'd like to leave a message for when I get back,

please, feel free.

What?

It is before 7:00 a.m. This better be good.

It's Nick. Nick who?

Kingston-Persons. What?

We need your help.

What? Nick?

Yes.

Nick, is something wrong? Did something happen? What's wrong?

Y'all are supposed to be out of town.

We're trying.

Kevin is sick. He can't travel.

We need somebody to watch him.

Watch him do what?

Gigi, look,

we just need somebody to stay at the house

in case he needs anything.

You can sleep when you get here.

What if he needs something?

Then you get it for him, and you go back to sleep.

I'll be there in a few minutes.

But, listen. Do not comment on what I'm wearing,

or I swear, the kid is on his own.

No problem.

Okay, so how about this one?

Oh, that's black. I can't wear black.

It has to be teal or silver.

Well, sweetheart, I don't know if I have any teal.

What about this?

You're singing the national anthem.

You're not dancing with the stars.

Don't get mad at me. It's your dress.

Ooh, okay. How about this one?

What is that?

It's a jumpsuit.

Where do you jump, into traffic because you hate your outfit?

When I bought this, this is what everybody was wearing.

Are those shoulder pads?

Yes.

What were women in the '90s doing

that they all needed to protect their shoulders?

Okay, you know what?

Come on, let's go check on your father,

see if he's having any luck.

Babe, any luck?

I think I got the stain out.

I can't wear that.

Maybe you can.

How are you gonna dry it?

I got an idea.

You're gonna cook my dress?

It's natural fiber. It'll be fine.

I'll set it to popcorn.

Lindsey, just go upstairs and put a T-shirt and some jeans on.

You can change once we land.

Okay.

Um...

Did you get the boarding passes printed?

I was trying to put a new cartridge in the printer,

and it wouldn't go in.

Babe, look. Look at that. See that? Boop.

Right here.

Well, how was I supposed to know that that didn't go in there?

Did you read the instructions?

I wouldn't have had to have read the instructions

if you had done this last night like I told you to.

Just print the thing, please?

Please.

Mom! Dad! The lights went out!

Did the lights come back on?

Are you serious right now?

Mom, how come the lights went out?

We blew a circuit.

Is my dress dry?

I don't think so.

Nick, try again.

Lindsey, did you check on your brother?

Was I supposed to?

I'm just gonna flip switches until one works.

Call me when they come back on.

Okay.

Lindsey, go get your father's keys

and start putting stuff in your father's car.

Wait, do you want me to go get the keys or check on Kevin?

Just get the keys. Where are they?

Nick, where are your keys?

Check my jacket.

Check his... I heard him.

Are they on yet?

No!

What? Yes!

Huh? No!

No? Yes!

Yes? Nick!

Come in here.

The time before the last one, they were on.

Okay.

They're not there. Well, keep looking.

Where? Wherever. Go.

Now! Nick, stop!

Did they come back on?

No.

Nick. Come in here.

Oh.

Babe, your keys aren't in your jacket.

Where's Kevin?

He's upstairs.

Gigi, what are you doing here?

Ask him. What are you wearing?

What'd I say?

It's okay. I'm sorry.

Gigi.Shh.

Go.

You called Gigi?

No, no, she just sensed we were in trouble and came over on her own.

Don't be smart, okay?

Where are your keys? I don't know.

Did you find them? No.

You know what? Just forget it. We'll take my car.

But, Mom, Dad's car is blocking yours in.

Argh! Babe, we have to find your keys.

Well, can't we just take Gigi's car?

No, it's too small. We're not all gonna fit with the luggage.

Well, we know it's got lots of head room.

Look, look, Lindsey, help me find my keys. All right?

Baby, whoa, whoa, what are you doing? Help us look?

I'm calling Martin. What?

You can call my friend but I can't call yours?

We'll all fit in his car.

Where is the water? The boy wants water.

It's in the fridge.

You said all I had to do was watch him.

I'm only here for what, two minutes, and he already asking me for stuff?

Get that out of the micro, please?

Now, you asking me for stuff?

What is this, anyway?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! It's hot!

Nick, what is that?

It's a long story.

You tried to kill me.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, what happened?

Don't worry about it? Look, did you find my keys?

No, I couldn't find it.

Go get your bag.

What is going on?

Don't worry about it.

Well, Martin will be here in a few minutes. Gigi, what happened?

Your husband's trying to kill me, that's what.

Baby, can you take care of her? I got to get my clothes out of the dryer.

Okay, I'm gonna get some ice for you.

Oh, my God, look at my arm.

It's gonna be crusty.

I'm gonna finish packing.

Okay, can you print the boarding passes, please?

Trying to kill me in here.

Hold it tighter. If you just hold it...

You got to pull on it.

Say something. Say it.

Don't ask.

Hey!

I am doing you a favor,

and I am not taking questions now or after now.

What are you wearing?

Have you seen who's standing next to you?

Honey, I printed off the boarding passes. We have to go.

Check them. I don't want anything else to go wrong.

Who are they?

Oh, uh, this is none, of, and your business.

Yeah?

Can I sing for you? What?

I think I have it, and I don't want to sing it for the first time when I get there.

I want to try it now.

Sweetheart, can't you do this in the car?

Yeah, but there's people here,

and it'll almost be like singing there. It'll only take a minute.

Sure. Okay.

Everyone, stand up for the singing of our national anthem.

Man, we already standing.

♪ Oh, say, can you see

♪ By the dawn's early light

♪ What so proudly we hail'd

♪ At the twilight's last gleaming

♪ Whose broad stripes and bright stars

♪ Thro' the perilous fight

♪ O'er the ramparts we watch'd

♪ Were so gallantly streaming

♪ And the rocket's red glare

♪ The bombs bursting in air

♪ Gave proof thro' the night

♪ That our flag was still there

♪ Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave

♪ O'er the land of the free

♪ And the home of the brave

That was great, sweetheart. We got to go.

Thanks, Mom.

Lindsey, that didn't suck.

I'm impressed.

Kevin, what are you doing out of bed?

Well, since I threw up on Lindsey's dress, I feel better.

Bad chili dog.

Well, go pack.

The boy's not sick.

Sorry.

Where are you going? To sleep.

Is this some kind of joke?

This flight is next week.

What?

Yeah, look. Right there.

I don't believe this.

Sorry.

That's it? "Sorry"?

Do you have any idea how close I was

to invading the fortress of solitude?

Kid in the room.

I was being oblique.

Not that oblique.

By the way, you left these in my car yesterday

when I dropped you off.

You owe me.

Both of you.

You're in the book.

- Baby Doll Force... - Go!

Shut up! I'm trying to sleep!

Okay. Okay.

All right. Minor glitch. Minor glitch.

But here's the upside, all right?

When next week comes,

our bags will be packed,

the camera will be charged, the clothes will be washed and dried,

the boarding passes will be printed,

your dress will be ironed, and Lindsey will know the song,

and we will not allow Kevin to eat a bad chili dog before we leave.

And all we have to do is wake up at 5:00 a.m.

Babe.Hmm.

How long does it take to drive to San Francisco?

What?