Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,221 --> 00:00:05,309
Nick!
2
00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:07,659
What's wrong?
3
00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:09,139
I've been trying
to get you to plan
4
00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:11,054
Fourth of July with me
for over a month,
5
00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:12,577
and you keep saying, "Later."
6
00:00:12,621 --> 00:00:15,102
Well, it's later,
and we have to do this now.
7
00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:18,279
Look, in my defense, I didn't
know you were planning anything.
8
00:00:18,322 --> 00:00:20,455
Well, what did you think
I was doing?
9
00:00:20,498 --> 00:00:22,370
I thought you were just talking.
10
00:00:22,413 --> 00:00:25,460
Look, a plan isn't a plan unless
the person that you're planning with
11
00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,679
knows it's the plan, too.
12
00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:30,552
Fine. Next time,
I'll remember to put,
13
00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:33,163
"Pay attention, I'm talking
to you," in your calendar.
14
00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:34,904
Now, can we book
these tickets now?
15
00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:36,993
Because they're
the only cheap ones left.
16
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,429
Mmm-hmm.
17
00:00:38,473 --> 00:00:40,344
Nick, listen to me.
18
00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:42,259
I'm listening.
You said, "Tickets."
19
00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:45,654
Okay, these tickets cost
$240 each.
20
00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:47,569
Each? Round trip? Yes.
21
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:49,223
No connection? No.
22
00:00:49,962 --> 00:00:51,007
Nick.
23
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,140
What? Okay, then, uh, get them.
24
00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:55,577
Well, they're non-refundable.
What if you have to work?
25
00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:58,058
Okay, then don't get them.
Uh, get some other ones.
26
00:00:58,101 --> 00:00:59,624
But the other ones
are twice as much.
27
00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:00,930
Okay, then get these.
28
00:01:00,973 --> 00:01:02,671
But these have
additional baggage fees.
29
00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:04,368
Do you think we can take
one bag each?
30
00:01:04,412 --> 00:01:06,805
I don't know. How much
does it cost for the extra bag?
31
00:01:06,849 --> 00:01:08,503
$50 per bag per person.
32
00:01:08,546 --> 00:01:10,026
Oh, man!
33
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,463
So, you mean to tell me
that if we left our luggage,
34
00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:14,465
we could actually take
another person? That's crazy.
35
00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:16,989
Nick, focus. Okay, I'm focused.
36
00:01:17,033 --> 00:01:20,297
Look, all right. Uh... So, these
tickets cost twice as much.
37
00:01:20,341 --> 00:01:22,212
Uh, how much does it cost
for the extra bag with those?
38
00:01:22,256 --> 00:01:23,387
$35.
39
00:01:23,431 --> 00:01:25,128
Okay, so it's really not
twice as much.
40
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:28,566
It's twice as much minus 50
plus 35, plus they're refundable.
41
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:30,351
How much does it cost
to change these tickets?
42
00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:31,613
$100.
43
00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:33,745
Then what's that? I don't know.
44
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,356
You didn't figure
this out already?
45
00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:36,966
I was waiting for you.
46
00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:39,186
You can't count by yourself?
47
00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:41,753
You know what? I'm just
going to buy these tickets.
48
00:01:41,797 --> 00:01:44,887
Whatever it costs, it costs,
and whatever happens, happens.
49
00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:46,454
Fine, buy the tickets.
50
00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:47,498
Thank you.
51
00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:52,242
Oh, no.
52
00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:53,939
What? What's wrong?
53
00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:55,463
They sold the tickets.
54
00:01:56,855 --> 00:02:00,337
Okay, then, uh,
we'll just do something else.
55
00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:03,514
Something else? Really,
Nick? That's your plan?
56
00:02:03,558 --> 00:02:04,994
You know what?
I'll tell you what.
57
00:02:05,037 --> 00:02:07,475
If you can find something
else for us to do
58
00:02:07,518 --> 00:02:09,259
that's affordable, we'll do it.
59
00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:11,479
But if you can't,
you have to tell the kids
60
00:02:11,522 --> 00:02:14,177
that you waited until the
last minute to buy their tickets,
61
00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:16,266
and now, they don't
have a summer vacation.
62
00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:18,094
Oh, so now it's my fault?
63
00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:19,922
Yeah.
64
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:24,840
I just sent a reminder
to your calendar.
65
00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:26,537
It's "Take the blame" Tuesdays.
66
00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:28,844
That's real mature, baby.
67
00:02:29,671 --> 00:02:31,063
Real mature.
68
00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:34,763
♪ Are we there yet?
69
00:02:35,807 --> 00:02:38,984
♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me
70
00:02:39,028 --> 00:02:40,856
♪ Tell me, are we there yet?
71
00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:42,597
♪ Are we there yet?
72
00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:45,687
Man, this is going to be great.
73
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:48,994
Fourth of July
in Vegas, poolside.
74
00:02:49,038 --> 00:02:52,259
Drinks, women, drunk women.
75
00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:54,043
So, when do you plan
to go down there?
76
00:02:54,086 --> 00:02:55,914
See, I don't have to plan-plan.
77
00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:57,655
Remember that flight
attendant I was dating?
78
00:02:57,699 --> 00:02:59,135
She gave me this employee pass,
79
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,571
and now I just show up
at the airport.
80
00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:03,313
They put me in an open seat
anywhere I want to go.
81
00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:06,142
I don't have four of those
passes, so I'm out of luck.
82
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,188
Why don't you just drive
somewhere for vacation?
83
00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,754
Like where?
84
00:03:09,798 --> 00:03:13,236
I don't know. Grand Canyon,
amusement park, Europe.
85
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,846
Drive to Europe?
86
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,674
Yeah, everything I know
about family vacations,
87
00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:19,590
I learned from National Lampoon.
88
00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:21,201
Ooh, this is good.
89
00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:22,332
What you got?
90
00:03:22,376 --> 00:03:24,334
Skiing in Vancouver!
91
00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:25,770
Bam!
92
00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:27,859
Skiing? In the middle of summer?
93
00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:30,862
According to this. And it's
just a drive up to Vancouver.
94
00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:32,081
Do they have any rooms?
95
00:03:32,124 --> 00:03:33,691
Yeah.
96
00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:36,259
Oh, this is great. They
got a private course and lift.
97
00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:38,696
There's skiing,
snowboarding, sledding.
98
00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:40,481
And they make
their own snow year round.
99
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:42,178
I didn't think the kids
knew how to ski.
100
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,572
They don't. That's what
lessons are for.
101
00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:52,101
I got another text from Tina.
102
00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:54,016
She's going to Hawaii
with her family.
103
00:03:54,059 --> 00:03:56,148
I thought Tina was going
to Costa Rica.
104
00:03:56,192 --> 00:03:57,324
No, that's Tanya.
105
00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:01,066
Wait, I thought Tanya
was going to Cabo.
106
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:02,198
That's Dylan.
107
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,069
Oh, the one you think is cute?
108
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:06,942
No, that Dylan
is going to Cancun.
109
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:09,988
Ooh, when they see my
pictures from the Bahamas,
110
00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:12,687
it's totally going to blow
their vacations away.
111
00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:14,297
Oh, did you see that?
112
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:17,126
That guy almost took off
James Bond's head with a hat!
113
00:04:17,169 --> 00:04:18,910
You're watching James Bond?
114
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,521
Yeah, did you know another actor
115
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,218
played him besides Daniel Craig?
116
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,656
Yeah, that's Sean Connery.
There were, like, five or six others.
117
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,571
What? No way.
118
00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:31,271
Way. That's Goldfinger. And
the guy with the hat, that's Oddjob.
119
00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:32,750
Cool.
120
00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:35,884
Uh, I don't know
if your mother told you,
121
00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:38,278
but you know that trip
we were planning?
122
00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:41,759
Yeah, I can't wait. The Bahamas is going
to be so awesome.
123
00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:44,414
Me and my girlfriends said we
would tweet pictures, like, every day
124
00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:47,112
and make a picture diary
of our vacation.
125
00:04:47,156 --> 00:04:50,464
Yeah. Well, there's been
a change in plans.
126
00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:53,728
We're not going. What?
127
00:04:53,771 --> 00:04:55,425
Please tell me this is a joke.
128
00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:58,646
Well, it's a long story. But
we're going someplace else!
129
00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:00,038
Where?
130
00:05:00,082 --> 00:05:01,779
Vancouver!
131
00:05:01,823 --> 00:05:03,738
They have beaches in Vancouver?
132
00:05:03,781 --> 00:05:05,479
What? I don't know.
133
00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:07,350
We're going skiing!
134
00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:08,656
You can ski in the summer?
135
00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,179
Yes.
136
00:05:10,222 --> 00:05:12,224
Why would anybody want
to go skiing in the summer?
137
00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:15,532
Because their other trip got
canceled, all right? Thank you.
138
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:19,319
So, did you tell them
about the Bahamas?
139
00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:20,755
I am telling them now
140
00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:23,061
that although we will not
be able to go to the beach,
141
00:05:23,105 --> 00:05:26,151
we are going skiing
in Vancouver!
142
00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:28,066
Skiing in the summer?
143
00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:29,894
Yes, in the summer.
144
00:05:29,938 --> 00:05:32,157
Well, I mean, as long as
it's okay with the kids,
145
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:33,898
it's fine by me. All right.
146
00:05:33,942 --> 00:05:36,510
I think it's cool. I guess it's better
than staying home.
147
00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:37,685
Did you book it?
148
00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:39,208
Oh, I was waiting
to talk to you guys.
149
00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:42,385
Nick, it's the summer.
These things book up quickly.
150
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:44,996
No, it's okay. I was on
the website an hour ago.
151
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,607
They had plenty of rooms.
152
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:50,350
Look at this. All I have to
do, go back to the web page,
153
00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:53,440
I got all my info plugged in,
154
00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:57,487
refresh, send and bam!
155
00:05:58,619 --> 00:05:59,620
"Sold out."
156
00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:01,578
What?
157
00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:02,840
Sold out?
158
00:06:03,711 --> 00:06:05,408
They had rooms an hour ago.
159
00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:09,717
Well, I guess you're not
the only one with the Internet!
160
00:06:10,935 --> 00:06:12,720
Wait, so now we're not going?
161
00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:16,158
You've got to be kidding me.
Everybody I know is going to be on a trip,
162
00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:18,378
and I'm going to be
posting pictures of my room.
163
00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:23,557
It's okay, Dad. I mean, going to
the beach would have been cool,
164
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,081
and going skiing this summer
would have been even cooler,
165
00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:29,519
but I guess watching James
Bond reruns can be cool, too.
166
00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:31,086
How many Bonds
did you say they had?
167
00:06:31,608 --> 00:06:32,870
Six or seven.
168
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:34,785
I'll go look them up
on Wikipedia.
169
00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:41,052
I know! I'm sorry.
170
00:06:41,096 --> 00:06:42,706
Look, baby,
171
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,447
I will make this up to you.
172
00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:46,188
Really, Nick? How?
173
00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:47,842
Honey?
174
00:06:47,885 --> 00:06:49,496
Oh, come...
175
00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:59,506
Good morning!
176
00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:00,811
Wow!
177
00:07:00,855 --> 00:07:02,857
Nick, what is all this?
178
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:05,425
Welcome to Casa del Nick.
179
00:07:07,818 --> 00:07:09,385
"Casa del Nick?"
180
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:10,908
That's right.
181
00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:13,258
Look, since we can't go
on vacation,
182
00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:15,435
we're going to have
a staycation!
183
00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:20,222
That's Raheem. Say, "What's up?"
184
00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:31,059
So, a staycation, huh?
185
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:32,800
Yeah, staycation.
186
00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:35,542
Look, it's a vacation for people
who choose to stay at home.
187
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:37,761
Everything you can do
on some remote location,
188
00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:39,894
you can do right
in your own backyard.
189
00:07:39,937 --> 00:07:43,375
Wow, this is almost as
cool as skiing in the summer.
190
00:07:43,419 --> 00:07:45,943
Right? I said almost.
191
00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:47,379
This is not a vacation.
192
00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:48,729
This is lame.
193
00:07:48,772 --> 00:07:50,121
Lindsey, please.
194
00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:52,123
Just trust me, this is
not going to be lame.
195
00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:55,866
Lindsey, apologize. Your father
is doing the best that he can.
196
00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:57,651
Sorry.
197
00:07:57,694 --> 00:07:59,740
Oh, don't worry about it.
You are going to have fun.
198
00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:03,526
Now, look, if everyone
would please follow me,
199
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:07,530
breakfast is served
on the patio.
200
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:08,879
All right, everybody, let's go.
201
00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:10,707
Ooh! Hot sand! Hot sand.
202
00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:15,973
Come on in.
203
00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:18,410
Check it out. Nice, huh, huh?
204
00:08:18,454 --> 00:08:21,326
Have a seat. Have a seat. Enjoy.
205
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:24,982
Good morning, everybody, and
welcome to La buena comida.
206
00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:27,768
Martin, wait a minute. I thought
you were going to Las Vegas.
207
00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:30,422
Yeah, turns out that
employee pass stops working
208
00:08:30,466 --> 00:08:32,990
when you stop dating
that employee.
209
00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:34,818
Martin will be taking
your breakfast orders,
210
00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:37,995
so just relax, and let's
get this party started.
211
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,780
So, what can I get
for the young lady?
212
00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:43,174
Ooh, I'll take tickets
to the Bahamas to go.
213
00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:44,872
Lindsey.
214
00:08:44,915 --> 00:08:46,743
Okay, can I get room service?
215
00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:48,005
Lindsey.
216
00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:50,530
It's okay. Yes,
you may have room service.
217
00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:53,184
Nice. If I decide to eat,
I'll let you know.
218
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:59,321
Hey, Dad, does this resort
have pay-per-view movies?
219
00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:01,541
Actually, we have
free-per-view movies.
220
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:03,368
Oh, can we get
all the James Bond movies?
221
00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:05,632
I want to see who
the best James Bond is.
222
00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:06,720
That'd be Roger Moore,
223
00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:08,199
The Man with the Golden Gun.
224
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:09,897
That is a James Bond movie.
225
00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:12,203
And Scaramanga?
Best villain ever.
226
00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:13,857
Okay, I don't know
who you're talking about,
227
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,990
but he can't be cooler
than Oddjob.
228
00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:18,601
We may have to view some
of these flicks and compare.
229
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:19,820
So, what's it going to be?
230
00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:21,952
Uh, can I have a bowl
of jelly, please?
231
00:09:21,996 --> 00:09:23,171
A fine choice, sir.
232
00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:25,173
With some saltine crackers
on the side.
233
00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:27,349
Mmm-hmm. And some peanut butter.
234
00:09:27,392 --> 00:09:29,307
That'd be crunchy or creamy?
235
00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:30,613
I'll take creamy.
236
00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,702
Creamy it is. And for the lady.
237
00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:36,184
I would like to have Suzanne's
favorite egg white omelet.
238
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:37,620
Mmm-hmm.
239
00:09:37,664 --> 00:09:39,666
Mira, Mira, order up.
Ding, ding.
240
00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:42,843
All right, I got a crock of jam
with brown sauce on the side
241
00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:44,627
and a number
one coming right up!
242
00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:52,243
Okay, so what is this I hear about
you all having a vacation at home?
243
00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:53,549
Hello, Marilyn.
244
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,855
Hello, Suzanne.
245
00:09:54,898 --> 00:09:56,639
Dad messed up
and didn't book our trip,
246
00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:59,076
so now we're having
a "staycation."
247
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,426
Well, I got three words for you,
248
00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:02,645
count me in!
249
00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:06,867
May I show you
to your room, ma'am?
250
00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:08,390
Well, I'd love that.
251
00:10:08,433 --> 00:10:10,261
Uh, you want me in your
room, right? Okay, thanks.
252
00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:11,785
No! No, uh...
253
00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:13,830
Not the master suite.
254
00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:21,882
Baby, I could get used to this.
255
00:10:21,925 --> 00:10:24,058
Good, because
it only gets better.
256
00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:26,060
I got James Bond movies
for Kevin,
257
00:10:26,103 --> 00:10:28,932
and I just found out Lady
Gaga's playing downtown.
258
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,630
Look, Mike said
he could get us tickets.
259
00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:33,981
Oh, my gosh, Nick,
Lindsey loves Lady Gaga.
260
00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:35,809
And we are going
to see her, baby.
261
00:10:35,852 --> 00:10:36,984
Oh!
262
00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:39,334
What can I get for you, Mom?
263
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:40,901
Uh, something to drink, baby.
264
00:10:40,944 --> 00:10:42,772
Coming right up.
265
00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:46,950
So, Suzanne, what is
the plan for today?
266
00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:49,910
Well, Nick graciously booked
spa appointments
267
00:10:49,953 --> 00:10:51,825
at Seattle Body and Spa.
268
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:53,478
Wow, that's nice.
269
00:10:53,522 --> 00:10:55,611
Mmm-hmm. Really nice.
270
00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:57,657
Spa appointments, huh?
271
00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:00,747
Would you like
to join us, Marilyn?
272
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:02,836
Now, Suzanne, you know
I don't like to intrude.
273
00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:05,708
You wouldn't be intruding.
Actually, we have three appointments,
274
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:06,927
and Lindsey
doesn't feel like going.
275
00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:08,058
Ooh!
276
00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:10,278
Let's get our spa on!
277
00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:13,890
Hey, Gigi. Girl,
that dress is gorgeous.Mmm-hmm.
278
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:15,718
Thank you.
279
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:18,329
Come on, let's go. Hold on a minute.
280
00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:20,592
♪ Medi-Pedi foot scrub
281
00:11:20,636 --> 00:11:23,030
♪ Mud bath, back rub ♪
282
00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:24,727
♪ To the spa, to the spa
To the spa ♪
283
00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:26,163
To the spa!
284
00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:27,861
♪ To the spa, to the spa
To the spa, whoo! ♪
285
00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:31,516
Hey! You all know I can't
get out of this thing by myself!
286
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:38,045
Hey! Hey.
287
00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:40,830
You missed the spa. You
would have had a great time.
288
00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:42,092
No, I wouldn't.
289
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:43,441
I'm sitting in my kitchen
while my friends
290
00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:45,530
are tweeting pictures
from their vacations.
291
00:11:45,574 --> 00:11:47,489
Lindsey,
292
00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:51,145
before I was as fabulous
as I am now, I was...
293
00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,756
Well, not as fabulous
as I am now.
294
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,410
And one of the things
I learned to do
295
00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:57,891
was to always make
the best of the situation.
296
00:11:57,934 --> 00:11:59,370
Your dad put in a lot of effort
297
00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:00,981
to make this into a vacation.
298
00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:04,462
If it's supposed to be a
resort, act like it's a resort.
299
00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:05,768
You can tweet that.
300
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,030
I mean, look at all of this.
301
00:12:07,074 --> 00:12:10,120
You have an ocean view,
tropical drinks,
302
00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:12,166
and you have your family.
303
00:12:13,471 --> 00:12:14,603
Grab that drink.
304
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,259
Put these on.
305
00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:21,088
There we go. Give me your phone.
306
00:12:21,131 --> 00:12:22,263
Stand over there,
307
00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:24,656
right in front
of the ocean view, girl.
308
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,528
All right, smile.
309
00:12:30,314 --> 00:12:31,707
Tweet that.
310
00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:44,851
Hey, guys, Nick around?
I have to tell him something.
311
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:46,200
Yeah, he's out in the office.
312
00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:47,505
Okay.
313
00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:49,246
You guys watching
The Spy Who Loved Me?
314
00:12:49,290 --> 00:12:51,814
Yeah, that guy's teeth
are ridiculous.
315
00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:53,250
You know what?
Forget what I said earlier.
316
00:12:53,294 --> 00:12:56,079
Jaws is definitely the
best villain of all time.
317
00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:59,779
That guy? I seen scarier
teeth on the Wu Tang Clan.
318
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:01,563
That guy's got nothing
on Stamper
319
00:13:01,606 --> 00:13:03,217
from Tomorrow Never Dies.
320
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:05,480
He'd have something on him
if he bit his leg off.
321
00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:08,309
Stamper loves pain.
Wouldn't bother him a bit.
322
00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:13,009
Bond before Pierce Brosnan is like
the Black Eyed Peas before Fergie.
323
00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:14,532
Ain't worth watching.
324
00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:17,187
Okay, listen, you can
have your Pierce Brosnan.
325
00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:20,277
As far as I'm concerned, if it's not
Roger Moore, it's not James Bond.
326
00:13:20,321 --> 00:13:22,627
All right, all right,
best Bond girl.
327
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:24,238
Obviously,
it's Major Anya Amasova
328
00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:25,326
from The Spy Who Loved Me.
329
00:13:25,369 --> 00:13:27,110
Get out of here with that!
330
00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:29,809
Christmas Jones,
The World Is Not Enough.
331
00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:30,853
Mmm...
332
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:32,899
Were you shaken as a baby?
333
00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:35,249
Denise Richards could
take hotness pills for a year,
334
00:13:35,292 --> 00:13:38,121
and she wouldn't even be in the
same ball park as Barbara Bach.
335
00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:41,211
What do you think, Kev?
Who do you like?
336
00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:42,952
I like the lady from Goldfinger.
337
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:46,303
Right, Goldfinger.
Mmm. What was her name?
338
00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:47,783
Um, oh, Pussy Galore.
339
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,045
Hmm.
340
00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:51,091
Okay, let's go try
something else, huh?
341
00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:53,397
This way. Come on. We're done.
342
00:13:54,224 --> 00:13:55,791
It's not over.
343
00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:02,363
You were right, Gigi.
344
00:14:02,406 --> 00:14:04,887
I've gotten a ton of responses
to my tweet about my vacation.
345
00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:06,454
Sarah says she wishes
she was here.
346
00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:07,672
See, I told you.
347
00:14:07,716 --> 00:14:08,978
Ooh!
348
00:14:09,022 --> 00:14:11,024
Take one.Okay.
349
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:13,156
Honey, you did great.
350
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,245
Look, even Lindsey
is having fun.
351
00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:17,247
Perfect.
352
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:19,510
All right, I think we got
everything set up. Ready to go.
353
00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:22,339
All right. Everybody,
everybody, please have a seat.
354
00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:24,037
It is time for our show.
355
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,212
All right.
356
00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:31,174
Tonight, I will be performing
an interpretive luau dance
357
00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:33,568
that will be translated by Gigi.
358
00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:34,656
Aloha.
359
00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:36,658
Aloha!
360
00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:38,094
Martin?
361
00:14:39,791 --> 00:14:41,924
Nice. Drums.
362
00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:50,150
There once was a king
363
00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:52,848
who claimed he could fly.
364
00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:59,072
But he failed when it came
to the Fourth of July.
365
00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:03,772
Are interpretive luau dances
supposed to rhyme?
366
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:05,948
I don't know.
367
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:09,386
The king ignored his queen,
368
00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:12,607
which made her
as mad as he's ever seen.
369
00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:18,526
The king is so sorry
370
00:15:18,569 --> 00:15:22,095
that they're not far away
on vacation
371
00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:26,795
but still so glad
that the family is together
372
00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:30,407
and having a great staycation.
373
00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:39,460
That was so good. Let's eat!
374
00:15:47,859 --> 00:15:50,558
Not for nothing, Nick,
but that was a real good time.
375
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,821
Oh, thanks, Mike.
376
00:15:52,864 --> 00:15:56,303
Hey, by the way,
what made you come over?
377
00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:58,479
Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you.
378
00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:00,263
Those Gaga tickets fell through.
379
00:16:00,307 --> 00:16:02,222
What? What happened?
380
00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:04,267
Your cousin was supposed
to hook us up!
381
00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:06,617
I'm sorry, man.
But, hey, listen,
382
00:16:06,661 --> 00:16:09,011
if you ever want to see
Journey with that Filipino guy,
383
00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:10,099
you let me know.
384
00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:11,840
I'll get you right
on the waiting list.
385
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,022
Good morning.
386
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:21,110
Morning.
387
00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:22,590
Hey, where's Martin?
388
00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:24,244
He's out doing some things.
389
00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:26,550
Oh, my God, Dad,
390
00:16:26,594 --> 00:16:28,770
I tweeted that I was going
to see Lady Gaga,
391
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:31,251
and all my friends
are so jealous.
392
00:16:31,773 --> 00:16:32,948
Um...
393
00:16:33,862 --> 00:16:34,994
About that,
394
00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:38,606
I wasn't able to get
the tickets.
395
00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:40,086
You're joking, right?
396
00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:43,089
I wish I was, baby. I'm sorry.
397
00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:46,005
Great. It's one thing to say
I'm enjoying my vacation,
398
00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:48,659
but I can't lie and say
I saw that concert.
399
00:16:48,703 --> 00:16:50,835
So, what do
you have planned now?
400
00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:53,751
Nothing yet.
I'm still working on it.
401
00:16:53,795 --> 00:16:55,318
So, that's it?
402
00:16:55,362 --> 00:16:57,886
I finally get excited
about our stupid vacation,
403
00:16:57,929 --> 00:17:00,019
and now it's over? Whatever.
404
00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:01,498
Lindsey, come back here.
405
00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:03,935
Lindsey! Come back here!
406
00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:09,332
You know,
I have worked very hard
407
00:17:09,376 --> 00:17:11,813
to make this
an enjoyable experience.
408
00:17:11,856 --> 00:17:14,468
Now, I understand that
this is not the Bahamas,
409
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:16,339
but I am doing my best.
410
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,908
I'm sorry if that's
not good enough.
411
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,842
What happened to the resort?
412
00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:43,018
Game over.
413
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,890
The vacation is over.
414
00:17:45,934 --> 00:17:49,764
Almost everything I've promised,
I wasn't able to make happen.
415
00:17:49,807 --> 00:17:52,071
Stupid idea to begin with.
416
00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:53,942
Well, I could have
told you that.
417
00:17:55,596 --> 00:18:00,079
Nick, it looked like everybody
was having a good time.
418
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:02,864
They were, till they fell apart.
419
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:06,433
So, something goes wrong
and you quit?
420
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:10,785
I talked to Lindsey.
421
00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:12,917
We all have a surprise for you.
422
00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:14,136
Let me guess.
423
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:15,616
Everyone's got
all their complaints
424
00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:17,835
compiled into
one neat little list.
425
00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,010
You know, I'm going
to sit right here,
426
00:18:19,054 --> 00:18:20,795
and they can just email it
to my phone.
427
00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:23,667
No, Nick.
428
00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:27,018
Now, come on. We have
something we want to show you.
429
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,636
Oh, here he comes!
430
00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:36,767
The man of the hour.
431
00:18:36,811 --> 00:18:38,029
You think you're ready?
432
00:18:38,073 --> 00:18:40,162
I don't know what I'm
ready for. What? What?
433
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,251
Okay, here's your
throne, King Nick.
434
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:46,864
Here you go. Oh, look!
435
00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:50,651
Hello, ladies and gentlemen,
and welcome to
436
00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:54,655
the first Annual Kingston-Persons
Fourth of July Extravaganza!
437
00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:00,574
You know, in
professional establishments,
438
00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:03,446
they blink the lights to let you
know the show's in 15 minutes.
439
00:19:05,361 --> 00:19:09,496
Okay, anyway, back
from their world tour,
440
00:19:09,539 --> 00:19:13,369
introducing Lady Lala
and Reyonce!
441
00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:16,546
Ready!
442
00:19:24,946 --> 00:19:26,034
Oh, my God.
443
00:19:29,777 --> 00:19:31,300
Oh, my God.
444
00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:43,269
Whoo!
445
00:19:48,665 --> 00:19:49,971
Yeah!
446
00:19:50,537 --> 00:19:51,842
All right.
447
00:19:58,545 --> 00:20:00,634
Oh!
448
00:20:01,722 --> 00:20:03,114
Look at that.
449
00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:28,401
Lovely!
450
00:20:28,444 --> 00:20:31,447
Oh, my God, thank you.Daddy.
451
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:34,102
That was wonderful!
452
00:20:34,145 --> 00:20:36,931
Well, um, it's not over.
453
00:20:36,974 --> 00:20:38,541
Bam! What?
454
00:20:38,585 --> 00:20:40,108
I could only get two tickets,
455
00:20:40,151 --> 00:20:41,327
but I thought it would be nice
456
00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:42,632
if you took your daughter
457
00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:44,112
to see the real Lady Gaga.
458
00:20:44,155 --> 00:20:46,288
Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Dad.
459
00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:47,594
This is so wonderful.
460
00:20:47,637 --> 00:20:49,291
I can't wait to tell
all my friends.
461
00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:52,773
Thank you, baby. You're welcome.
462
00:20:52,816 --> 00:20:56,298
And guess what. I get to
see the Filipino Journey!
463
00:20:56,342 --> 00:20:58,605
They said, "Don't stop
believing," and I didn't!
464
00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:02,348
You can clap now.
33463
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof