Original subtitles

Okay, you guys ready?

Nick, what is this about?

Well, I just wanted to capture your first reactions when I tell you this news.

Okay. You guys know Thunder Clark from the station, right?

- The weatherman? - No, Thunder Clark the plumber.

Okay, what about him?

Well, as one of the top personalities at the station,

he was invited to play in a celebrity golf tournament.

Good for him. - Well, not exactly.

It turns out Thunder came down with a really bad case of pinkeye,

and it's highly contagious, so they don't want him to play.

So since Thunder is sick, the station manager asked me to step up and take his place.

Babe, uh,

you can't play golf.

That is a surprise.

No, that's not the surprise.

Well, honey, can you hurry up and tell us what the surprise is?

Fine, I've been picked to play in a celebrity golf tournament, and we've all been invited.

To see you play something you don't know how to play?

It's a lot like my third grade band concert.

- Oh, yeah. - Oh!

Now, see, Kevin, your trumpet solo for All About the Benjamins,

that was, amazing.

Then where is the tape, Mom?

I lost it.

I'm proud of you, Dad, even if you can't play golf.

So where's the tournament?

At Walt Disney World.

We're going to Disney World!

We're going to Disney World?

- Yes! - In Orlando?

Yes!

Walt Disney World?

Yes, we're going to Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida!

Oh, my God. We're going to Disney World!

I don't know what you guys are gonna do, but I'm gonna see the Hall of Presidents.

I heard they added Obama. I voted for you, man!

Oh, honey, that is amazing.

So unbelievable. This'll be, like, our first official family vacation.

- Oh, this is going to be great! - Oh, yes!

- So when do we get to go? - This weekend!

- As in, this weekend? - Yes!

Oh, no.

You might not want to film this part.

Okay, well, remember when I told you that my firm asked me to plan this corporate retreat?

Yeah, big account, huge.

I'm supposed to give the perfect presentation

at a big breakfast this Saturday.

Which means what?

I can't go.

Aw, that's... That's bad.

- Hey, Dad. Can we still go? - Yeah?

Can we?

♪ Are we there yet?

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me

♪ Tell me, are we there yet?

♪ Are we there yet?

Baby!

Can't you let somebody else take this one?

Look, it's not your first big client, and it won't be your last.

I know, but Gigi and I brought them on.

If I bail now, it'll just look bad.

Look at that.

I was just planning on doing something really special for us,

you know, riding some rides, catching the fireworks,

a little romance, family stuff.

See, you can't miss that.

Nick, honey, I don't want to, but I have to.

Fine. I'll tell the kids we can't go.

No, no, no, no. Don't do that.

You know, maybe Kevin had the right idea. Just because I can't go

doesn't mean that you guys can't. This is too important.

It's a once-in a-lifetime opportunity.

Thank you, baby.

You better go now, because once they see you play golf,

you'll never be invited to another tournament again.

I love you too, baby.

Are you sure?

- Yes. - Okay, then.

We're going to Disney World.

Yay!

Disney World! Disney World! Disney World! Disney World!

Ooh, ooh, let me get that. Let me get that.

Kevin, did you pack extra underwear?

Define extra.

Boy, you are not gonna be in Orlando flipping your drawers.

Now, four pairs, go.

We're going to Disney World!

Okay, please tell me you just bought that.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I am very proud of my ears.

Disney reminds me of what being good is all about.

- He's coming to caddy for me. - Oh.

Yeah. And to get some items signed for the store.

If I can get my nine-iron signed by Anthony Anderson, my trip will be complete.

Well, my trip will be complete when we get back.

Mom, you're gonna have a good time.

It's the happiest place on earth

Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Disneyland is the happiest place on earth.

Disney World is the most magical.

See, ma? It's magical.

Yippee.

I'm just happy you're coming along to help out with the kids.

I almost forgot, I have something for you guys.

Video cameras, to capture the memories.

- Oh, thanks. - There you go.

Four pairs of underwear.

Are they clean?

All I know, as soon as Kevin comes back with clean underwear,

we're going to Disney World!

- Oh, my god, Gigi. - Hey!

I'm having a bad day. I'ma get all of this fixed later. But for now,

let's just say I look fine,

unless you want to spend the next two hours talking about it.

Okay. So,

here are the bullet points of what the client wants for the retreat.

They want to get out of the Pacific Northwest, someplace sunny.

They want a location that has enough meeting amenities but also numerous fun activities

to enjoy after business is over.

That sounds more like a vacation.

Don't remind me. I'm supposed to be in Disney World right now.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Too bad you can't have the retreat there.

Wait a minute.

That's it.

The client wants someplace that combines meeting space and resort activities,

someplace sunny. Don't you get it?

You wanna have the retreat in Dubai?

No, Disney World. It's perfect.

- It is? - Yes!

I'm gonna call Nick and tell him we are on our way.

Can I say it?

Go ahead.

We're going to Disney World!

Oh, my god! Oh, my god!

Hey, babe. We made it.

Mom and the kids are going to the parks,

and I'm going to check in for the golf tournament.

We miss you.

Can we go now? I want to ride Space Mountain.

Yeah, and I want to go swimming at the typhoon lagoon.

All right. I'll meet up with you guys after the golf tournament.

- Come on, come on. - I'm coming.

Look, I know this place is magical,

but walking too fast will cast an evil spell on my feet.

Come on. Where we gonna go first?

Oh, Nick Kingston-Persons.

KAWT sports in the house.

Wow. Anthony Anderson, you know me?

Uh, no. I know you're gonna lose, though.

Unfortunately for you, brother, I'm playing.

And although you will love your time down here at Disney,

your time on the links will be "dis-mal."

Oh. Okay, well, we'll see. Who am I playing with?

Toby.

Al Roker.

You're teaming with Al Roker. - Yeah.

Uh, so what are you gonna call your team? Team Chrome Dome?

Okay, okay. Get your jokes in now.

- Get 'em in. - Oh, I will, I will.

There you go.

What's that for?

Oh, I'm gonna send you this picture after you lose,

so you can remember what it looked like when you were happy.

Little black smiley face.

Oh, snap. Okay. Nick Kingston-Persons got jokes.

What's happening, my white friend?

Have you been teaching him how the game is played?

Because I believe you're gonna need all the help that you can get.

Yo mama.

What'd you just say to me, my man?

Martin. He didn't mean that.

I don't really do trash talk.

It just kind of popped into my head. My apologies, sir.

Yeah, all right, brother.

I'll see you out there. Bring your "A" game.

Brought.

Loved you in Trippin'.

Voice mail again.

Hi, honey. It's me. Guess what.

I'm at Disney World!

Whoo!

Can't wait to see you guys. Love you.

Okay, first, the spa and then poolside cocktails.

No, we have to find Nick, and then we have a meeting with the convention director

- for the tour. - Question.

- What? - Do you really need me to assist you on the tour?

I mean, it's not like I'm gonna see something with my own eyes

that you can't see with your eyes.

- Fine. Go to the spa. - Thank you.

- But book something for me. - Okay, what?

Pedicure. Saw your toes, they look a mess. Come on.

Wait! That's why I'm wearing boots!

Wow, Big Thunder Mountain was awesome.

Then why were you crying?

Those were tears of joy.

Oh, Marilyn, you missed out on a great ride.

No, I didn't. You missed out on a great frozen lemonade.

Oh, look, it's Pluto! Marilyn, can you take a picture?

- Sure. Get together. - Okay. Come on.

Got it. Nice.

No, I'm good.

That lady made Pluto cry.

Really?

Bam! What do you think?

Nice, but you need to figure out what you're gonna say to Al Roker

when he finds out you don't know how to play.

Here, take a picture.

I want to send it to Suzanne and ask her what she thinks.

Dick Wolf?

- What? - Mm-hmm.

Hello?

Who is this?

Yeah, man. Whatever you say, man.

No, I do not want to be on a new Law & Order.

I really do, huh?

No, I don't.

Who am I?

You wanna know who I am, Dick Wolf?

Well, I'm Rick Fox.

Huh?

What? Yeah?

Well, your mama.

That's weird.

Let me.

Hello.

Uh, no. This is not Anthony Anderson.

Who is this?

Dick Wolf, from Law and Order.

No, no, no. You probably had the wrong number.

No, Mr. Wolf. I don't find that funny at all.

I will absolutely tell Anthony you called.

Law & Order. Absolutely. Yeah, bye-bye.

Please don't tell me that was really Dick Wolf.

Okay.

I have Anthony's phone, don't I?

I think so.

- I guess we better go find him. - Yeah.

Please, Marilyn, it'll be fun.

What don't you all understand about the phrase "I don't like rides"?

Are you scared?

If I was, I wouldn't be scared of this one. It's called Dumbo.

Nothing scary about that.

That's the lady that made Pluto cry!

Make you cry next.

Okay, if there's nothing scary about the ride,

then why don't you just get on it?

- Yeah. - Oh!

If I do, will you leave me alone?

Deal.

Come on. Back in line, go.

Um, Marilyn, are you all right?

Man, that was incredible!

- Really? - Yes!

You know, I never got to come here when I was younger.

And whenever I would see somebody in those football games,

I would always say,

"Why would a grown man want to come to Disney World?"

Well, now I see why. Can we do another one?

- Sure. - Then let's go!

You know, I left a message for Anthony Anderson on his phone and at his room.

Well, you can tell him in person, 'cause there he is.

Oh, hey, what's up, Bagger Vance?

Don't say it.

For the record, Bagger Vance was black.

Remix. Uh, Ving Rhames, I think I have your phone.

Yeah, and I think I have yours.

- Oh, okay. - Did I get any calls?

Yeah, some girl named Susan or Suzy called.

Suzanne, my wife.

Yeah, something like that. Did I get any calls?

No, no. I didn't even hear it ring. Did you, Martin?

Did not hear a thing.

Oh, okay, cool.

Oh, I also beat your high score in Brick Breaker.

Just a little prelim before the main event.

Oh, Anthony, um...

You know, now that I think of it, you did get a call.

Oh, from who?

Your mama! Oh, yeah.

Ah, cute. Just like your outfits.

- Mr. Kingston-Persons? - Yes?

Uh, I am sorry to tell you, but Al Roker's flight was canceled.

He won't be able to play.

I'm afraid we have to take you out of the competition.

No, whoa, whoa.

So who's playing against Anthony Anderson now?

Ha! Your mama! Bam!

- Hey! - Hi. This place is amazing.

This location is perfect. The client is going to love it.

Oh, girl, I know I love it. Have you heard from Nick?

No, and it's weird, because I tried him earlier, and I got the wrong number.

With speed dial? How is that even possible?

I don't know. I'm gonna try Lindsey now. Oh, no.

- What now? - My phone is dead.

- Can I use yours? - Of course you can, but it's in my room charging.

Oh.

Coconut punch?

- Ooh, yes. - Look at Mickey on the cup. That's my drink.

- Mm-hmm. - Why are you drinking it?

Oh, Nick.

Man, I'm sorry you got scratched from the tournament.

You know, I was gonna really enjoy beating you like a bongo.

Why are you still talking trash, man?

We are not playing each other. It's over. You ought to be happy.

At least this way, you can keep on dreaming.

You really think you could beat me?

Like eggs on Sunday morning.

Well, tomorrow, let's arrange something to settle this, then.

Arrange it, then.

It's done.

Oh, and bring your big fat mama.

Bring yours. I'll bring her gravy bowl.

Wait. So were you just insulting each other,

or are you actually bringing your mothers?

Both.

So, what do you guys wanna do now?

- Can we take a break? - A break?

I'm having the time of my life, and you want to take a break?

Our feet hurt.

Oh, who's the grandma now?

Oh, fine, we'll stand here. We'll watch the party and catch our breath.

Ooh, look! Look! Aha!

It's me!

- I don't even know where to look. - I don't either.

- They said the parade, right? - Yeah.

Gigi, I'm never gonna find them out here.

Don't worry. They'll show up. Enjoy the parade.

Look! Look! Oh, look!

That was great, everybody.

But now it's time to take it to the street

and get ready to move it to the beat,

to our move-it, shake-it, celebrate-it street party.

So everybody get out in the street and get ready to move!

Oh! Nick! Nick! Nick!

Uh, buddy, do you know that woman?

- Who? - Right there.

Nick! I told you.

Suzanne!

Suzanne! Oh-ho-ho! Baby! What are you doing here?

Honey, I've been trying to find you guys all day.

Where are the kids?

Mom, Dad!

Oh, oh, excuse me. Excuse us!

Excuse me! Excuse me! Oh, yeah!

Hey, Mickey!

Oh, oh, oh, you come up here.

You come here. I got you, Gigi. Come on.

There you go.

Go, Mickey! Go, Mickey!

Go, Mickey! Go, Mickey!

Go, Mickey! Go, Mickey!

So, Nick. You ready for this?

I was born ready.

You can take him, honey.

Yeah, Dad, you can do this.

I see you brought your mama.

And your little cheering squad.

Let me tell you something. This is my course.

Yeah, just keep talking, little man.

I just hope you can play golf better than you can act.

Ooh.

And I hope your son can play golf better than whatever it is that he does,

which I know nothing about, because he's not famous.

It's okay, Mom. I got this.

- You ready? - I'm ready.

Drop your ball.

Ooh.

Wait. Hold up. Hold up.

Ooh.

Yes!

- Oh, damn it! - Oh, yes!

Yes!

- Okay, Nick? - Okay.

You land a hole-in-one here, the game is yours.

If you don't, Anthony wins, you let everyone down,

and you ruin your first family vacation.

No pressure.

Your mama.

Is that how that works?

That's how it works.

You can do it, Nick. Whoo!

That's right. 'Cause I raised a winner.

And he's about to become a loser.

Go, go.

Yes!

Yes! Yes!

Whoo, whoo, wow!

Good game, man.

Oh, good game? Wait, wait...

After all that trash you was talking,

all you can say is, "Good game"?

Whoa, whoa, you're an actor, man, look. Act like you got beat!

Hey, you need some motivation, huh? Ask your mama!

Oh!

Hey, got you! Oh!

That's all right. That's all right.

I'll see what you're all about after my bocce ball tournament.

You tell him, baby.

Be quiet, Mama.

- How you gonna talk to your mama like that? - Loser!

I love you, baby.

- Hey, guys. - Hey, Dad.

- Hey, Dad. - Quit playing for a sec. I've got a surprise for you.

Quick, stop playing. His last surprise was the best.

I have to interrupt.

Okay, so I gave my Disney World proposal to the client, and guess what.

- What? - They said it was the perfect site. Landed it!

Congratulations, baby.

Thank you. Thank you. Go, Mommy.

- But now it's time for my surprise. - What?

I just edited the Disney trip.

Yes!

I cannot wait to see this.

- Congratulations, baby. - Thank you, honey.

I can't hold it much longer!

We're in Disney World, player!

- Hey Lindsey! - Hi!

We saw Mr. Obama.

- Oh, come on, no. - You know what? Can you move over?

One, two, three.

I love it, I'm having so much fun.

I've had a great time. We watched the fireworks last night,

just Nick and I.

Can I go get a funnel cake?

I can't wait to get in another ride.

I'm just gonna lick it.

Oh, gross.

This is awesome.

We should try to make this a yearly thing, huh?

- I know. - I love it so much.

You enjoyed it more than we did, and that's saying something.

And if you tell anybody,

I will snatch the tongue right out of your mouth. Go ahead.