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1
00:00:04,439 --> 00:00:05,483
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
2
00:00:05,527 --> 00:00:06,528
Come in.
3
00:00:08,486 --> 00:00:09,531
BOTH: Good night.
4
00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:10,706
Hey, good night,
big man.
5
00:00:12,838 --> 00:00:14,492
Hey, Mommy.[SIGHS WEARILY]
6
00:00:14,536 --> 00:00:15,885
[HIGH-PITCHED BUZZING][YELLS]
7
00:00:15,928 --> 00:00:17,800
Lindsey, what
are you doing?
8
00:00:17,843 --> 00:00:20,324
It's an app for my phone.
It's an ultrasonic ring tone.
9
00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:22,326
A what?It works like
a hearing test.
10
00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:24,589
The younger you are,
the higher-pitched sounds
you can hear.
11
00:00:24,633 --> 00:00:26,156
I got one
on my phone, too.
12
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,418
And why do you need it?
13
00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:29,116
I use it when I
go to people's houses.
14
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:30,639
It helps find
where the dogs are.
15
00:00:30,682 --> 00:00:32,249
Well, it looks like it works,
because there's a dog...
16
00:00:32,293 --> 00:00:34,251
[YELLING]
17
00:00:34,295 --> 00:00:36,079
Lindsey. Stop it.I didn't do anything!
18
00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:37,341
Uh, that was me.
19
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,126
Oh, let me see.
20
00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:42,694
Wow. That's amazing.
21
00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,522
I didn't hear a thing.
22
00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:47,047
Well, Lindsey,
just because I can't
hear your phone ring,
23
00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:49,005
doesn't mean I can't
hear you talking.
24
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,441
Good night.Night.
25
00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:52,269
Good night.
Night.
26
00:00:52,313 --> 00:00:54,837
Guys, can I stay up
another half hour
on my computer?
27
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,404
You okay?Yeah.
28
00:00:56,447 --> 00:00:58,188
I've just been
having some weird dreams.
29
00:00:58,232 --> 00:00:59,711
No, you should go...Okay, stay up another...
30
00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:02,714
Half...
31
00:01:02,758 --> 00:01:04,716
A half hour. That's it.
32
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,588
Thanks.BOTH: Good night.
33
00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:08,329
Sweetheart,
close the door.
34
00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:09,895
Good night.Thank you.
35
00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:12,811
[SIGHING AFFIRMATIVELY]
Finally.
36
00:01:12,855 --> 00:01:16,119
[YAWNING]
I can't believe
how tired I am.
37
00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:18,382
Are you sleepy,
or are you tired?
38
00:01:18,426 --> 00:01:19,775
'Cause I can
work with tired.
39
00:01:20,732 --> 00:01:22,517
Actually,
I'm pretty sleepy.
40
00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:26,303
What?
Are you serious?
41
00:01:26,347 --> 00:01:28,871
Look, baby, I know
what you're offering,
42
00:01:28,914 --> 00:01:31,961
and I would love to have it,
but if I don't get some sleep,
43
00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:35,138
one of us might end up
feeling pretty embarrassed.
44
00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:37,314
Really?
You could fall asleep
right in the middle?
45
00:01:38,837 --> 00:01:39,925
I don't want to risk it.
46
00:01:40,796 --> 00:01:42,276
Fine.
47
00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:44,104
Take your tired butt
to sleep.
48
00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:45,757
Make sure you
get well rested.
49
00:01:45,801 --> 00:01:47,759
Whoa, whoa,
let me get this straight.
50
00:01:47,803 --> 00:01:49,761
When you don't
feel like it,
we don't do it.
51
00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:52,242
But when I don't
feel like it...We should do it, anyway.
52
00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:53,765
I'm a man,
not a machine.
53
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:56,464
Oh, trust me.
I know the difference.
54
00:01:56,507 --> 00:01:57,987
What is that
supposed to mean?
55
00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,120
It means, go to sleep.
56
00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:04,428
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
57
00:02:04,472 --> 00:02:06,430
♪ Are we there yet?
58
00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:09,738
♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me
59
00:02:09,781 --> 00:02:11,696
♪ Tell me, are we there yet?
60
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:13,350
♪ Are we there yet?
61
00:02:15,831 --> 00:02:16,962
I know.
62
00:02:17,876 --> 00:02:19,139
You know
I want to.
63
00:02:20,705 --> 00:02:21,706
Really?
64
00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:24,187
Can you describe that
for me?
65
00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:28,452
No, no. I think
we need to wait.
66
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,151
Seriously.
67
00:02:31,194 --> 00:02:33,065
Okay. I'll talk
to you soon.
Bye-bye.
68
00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:35,851
Who're you
lyin' to now?
69
00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:37,461
Her name
is Scorpio.
70
00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,681
You do realize there's
no future with a woman
71
00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:41,248
named after
a Zodiac sign.
72
00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:44,164
It's not her future
I'm worried about.
It's her past.
73
00:02:44,207 --> 00:02:45,600
Take a look
at this.
74
00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,123
Can you give me
a ruling on that?
75
00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:49,212
Is that her daughter?
76
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:51,954
No, that's her.
That's the problem.
77
00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:55,044
I think she's 18
because I met her
at jury duty, but,
78
00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:56,567
you know how
I love a younger lady.
79
00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:58,482
You and R. Kelly.
80
00:02:58,526 --> 00:02:59,875
[LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY] Right.
81
00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:01,529
I draw the line
at teenagers.
82
00:03:01,572 --> 00:03:03,748
You and R. Kelly.
83
00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:07,056
Speaking of kids,
I have a situation.
84
00:03:07,099 --> 00:03:08,579
And this stays here.
85
00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:10,190
You say a word
of this to anyone...
86
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:11,800
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'll punch you so hard
87
00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:14,019
that your grandkids
will get knocked out.
I got it.
88
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:18,589
I don't like to do it
when the kids
are in the house.
89
00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:20,722
I'm afraid they'll hear.
That makes me nervous.
90
00:03:20,765 --> 00:03:23,028
Nick, I've dated women
with kids before.
91
00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:25,814
There's an easy solution here.
You just get 'em good and tired.
92
00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:27,859
You have to treat children
like they're dogs.
93
00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:30,471
What do you
want me to do?
Put 'em to sleep?
94
00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:32,603
I was gonna suggest
maybe taking to the park
95
00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:33,952
and throwing
a Frisbee around.
96
00:03:34,692 --> 00:03:35,737
Now what you got
for me?
97
00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:37,347
Because I'm not
touching this girl
98
00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:39,131
until I'm sure
I'm not gonna
end up on Dateline.
99
00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:40,698
Did you check
her driver's licence?
100
00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:42,439
She's from New York.
She doesn't drive.
101
00:03:42,483 --> 00:03:44,049
When did she graduate
high school?
102
00:03:44,093 --> 00:03:45,225
She was home-schooled.
103
00:03:45,268 --> 00:03:46,530
What's her favorite song?
104
00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:49,229
Aaliyah.
Age Ain't Nothing But A Number.
105
00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:51,927
Produced by R. Kelly.
106
00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:54,669
Why don't you
just ask this girl
how old she is?
107
00:03:54,712 --> 00:03:56,323
Oh, man,
she could say anything.
108
00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:57,889
Did you ever look her up
on the internet?
109
00:03:57,933 --> 00:04:00,718
Mm-hmm.
There are 48 Scorpios
in a 200-mile radius.
110
00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:02,807
Ages 14 to 69.
111
00:04:02,851 --> 00:04:04,853
A 69-year-old
named Scorpio?
112
00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:06,158
Hmm.
113
00:04:06,202 --> 00:04:07,638
That can't be good.
114
00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:09,292
Maybe you should
just cut her loose.
115
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:11,294
Uh, did you
miss the part
116
00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:12,817
where I showed you
how hot she is?
117
00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:14,166
Yep.
118
00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:16,343
As hot as a night
in Roman Polanski's Jacuzzi.
119
00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:22,697
Okay, a little sexier
this time.
120
00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:28,050
You know, I'm beginning
to worry about you two.
121
00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:30,139
This isn't
the first time.It's not like that.
122
00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:31,314
Yes, it is.No, it's not.
123
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:32,402
You offered?Yes.
124
00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:33,490
He said?No.
125
00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:35,144
Question...[STUTTERS]
126
00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:36,798
It doesn't matter what
I was wearing, Gigi.
127
00:04:37,929 --> 00:04:40,105
The man said
he was tired.
128
00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:41,542
Well, that's one
of two things.
129
00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:44,327
Either he has diabetes
130
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:46,938
or he has a girlfriend.
131
00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:51,334
Nick is not sick
132
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:52,814
and he is not
cheating on me.
133
00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:54,337
It has to be
something else.
134
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:55,686
Well, this
is a long shot,
135
00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:57,253
but maybe you should
just ask him what's wrong.
136
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,342
I don't like to talk
about my love life like that.
137
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:01,866
All clinical.
Takes the magic out of it.
138
00:05:01,910 --> 00:05:03,433
Any other suggestions?
139
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:05,653
Well, if he's
too tired at night,
140
00:05:05,696 --> 00:05:07,698
maybe you should just
try him in the morning.
141
00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:09,091
He can't be tired, then.
142
00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:10,875
He just woke up.
143
00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:13,878
[CHUCKLING]
144
00:05:13,922 --> 00:05:16,664
Every now and again,
you make sense.
145
00:05:16,707 --> 00:05:20,929
All right, now,
pucker up and say,
"Burma is a war zone."
146
00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:22,322
Burma's a war zone!
147
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:24,193
Nice.
148
00:05:29,764 --> 00:05:32,462
Then we'll
come out here.
149
00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:34,725
And why are you
making us
go hiking, again?
150
00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:36,640
Your mother needs
some time to herself.
151
00:05:36,684 --> 00:05:38,250
Are you guys fighting?
152
00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:41,471
No. Sometimes
if you love someone,
you leave 'em alone.
153
00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:42,646
You hear that, Lindsey?
154
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:44,648
If you love me,
you leave me alone.
155
00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:46,563
[BUZZING][YELLING]
156
00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:48,565
[DOORBELL RINGS]
157
00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:51,046
Look, this is a surprise.
Do not tell your mother.
158
00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:52,308
Uh-huh.Okay.
159
00:05:57,269 --> 00:05:59,489
Hey, man,
what are you
doing here?
160
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:00,925
Oh, nothing.
161
00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:04,189
I just wanted
to introduce you
to my friend, Scorpio.
162
00:06:04,233 --> 00:06:05,713
It's really nice
to meet you.
163
00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:07,236
Martin told me
so much about you.
164
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:09,847
Mm-hmm.Really?
165
00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:13,024
"Scorpio," such
an interesting name.
166
00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:14,286
When is your birthday?
167
00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:16,158
It's June.
168
00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:18,334
Everybody thinks
I'm named after
the Zodiac sign,
169
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,815
but really, I'm named after
some guy in a group,
170
00:06:20,858 --> 00:06:22,904
The Grandmaster Five
and the Furious Flash.
171
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:25,297
The Grandmaster Flash
and the Furious Five.
172
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,345
Right. My dad was
like their biggest fan.
173
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,564
Oh, boy.
174
00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:32,435
He must be
a little older than me.
175
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,263
Like forty-something?
176
00:06:34,306 --> 00:06:37,701
Actually, I don't know,
my mother refuses
to talk about him now.
177
00:06:37,745 --> 00:06:39,790
He left her
for a younger woman
10 years ago.
178
00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,489
He's dead to her.
Me too.
179
00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:44,621
Wow. That must be tough'
on the kid.
180
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:48,364
How old were you
when they broke up?
181
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,540
Old enough to know
I will never take
another woman's man.
182
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:55,589
Ah, I don't want
to hold you guys up.
Where are you going?
183
00:06:55,632 --> 00:06:57,504
We are going
to the movies.
184
00:06:57,547 --> 00:07:00,681
There's a special screening
of Night at the Museum,
one and two.
185
00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:03,858
It is like
my favorite movie ever.
186
00:07:03,901 --> 00:07:07,427
And Robin Williams
[GASPS] is so sexy.
187
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:08,950
The things I
would do to him.
188
00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:13,911
Come on, Martin.
I don't want to be late.
189
00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:15,347
Hey, babe,
why don't you go
wait out in the car?
190
00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:16,914
I'll meet you there
in a minute?
191
00:07:16,958 --> 00:07:18,568
Sound good?
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
192
00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,570
Nice to meet you.Nice to meet you, Nick.
193
00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:23,617
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Okay.
194
00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:30,798
I can't help it, man.
Night at the Museum?
195
00:07:30,841 --> 00:07:31,886
Robin Williams?
196
00:07:32,364 --> 00:07:33,365
[SHUDDERS]
197
00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:45,465
[SNORING]
198
00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:52,515
[SNORING]
199
00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:53,560
Sweetheart.
200
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,567
Good morning.BOTH: Morning.
201
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,220
[BUZZING][YELLS]
202
00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:03,483
Lindsey, stop it.
203
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,876
Hey, you heard
that one?
204
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,530
Yeah, I have
great hearing.
205
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,184
If Mom and Dad
dropped a pin
in their room,
206
00:08:09,227 --> 00:08:10,620
I'd be able
to hear it.
207
00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:12,056
LINDSEY: Awesome.
208
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:14,363
Not really. When they sleep,
they make too much noise.
209
00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:17,888
Honey, I missed you
this morning.
210
00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:19,150
Why didn't you
wake me up?
211
00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:20,717
Well, I know
what it's like
to be sleepy,
212
00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:22,676
so I figured I'd let you
get some rest, too.
213
00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:24,504
Oh, so,
what's going on?
214
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:26,331
Well, we got
a big day planned.
215
00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:28,856
I'm takin' the kids
for a walk, then we're
going to go to the park,
216
00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:31,423
throw the Frisbee around
and then we're going
to go for a hike.
217
00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:32,686
He's making us go.
218
00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:35,079
Yeah, we only wanted
to go to the movies.
219
00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:37,647
Well, I wish you
would have told me,
220
00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:40,084
'cause I was hoping
to spend a little time
with you this morning.
221
00:08:40,128 --> 00:08:41,651
Well, how about I
make it up to you
222
00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:43,566
and we spend
a little time
together tonight?
223
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:45,002
Mm.
224
00:08:45,046 --> 00:08:46,613
How about you guys
spend some time
together right now
225
00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:49,703
and me and Kevin
can go to the movies
by ourselves?
226
00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:51,618
Because I don't
want you to get
kidnapped and molested
227
00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,968
and have to raise your kids
in some man's backyard.
228
00:08:58,059 --> 00:08:59,060
Yeah.
229
00:09:08,156 --> 00:09:10,114
I bet you guys don't
hear anything tonight.
230
00:09:15,119 --> 00:09:17,208
Come on, Lindsey.
231
00:09:17,252 --> 00:09:19,863
Here we go.
There you go,
nice and tired.
232
00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:21,778
Yeah.
233
00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:29,090
Come on, Kev.
Come on up, man.
All righty.
234
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:32,049
Aw, look at you.
There we go.
235
00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:44,148
[SENSUAL MUSIC PLAYING]
236
00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:05,430
[SIGHS IN RELIEF]
237
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:10,305
[EXCLAIMING EXCITEDLY]
238
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:26,495
[SNORING]
239
00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:35,112
Nick?
240
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:36,548
Baby?
241
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:40,727
He's not in the kitchen.
242
00:10:45,775 --> 00:10:46,994
Nick.What?
243
00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:48,082
What is this?
244
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,213
What's what?
245
00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:51,215
That.That?
That's wine.
246
00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:53,174
I know
what it is.
247
00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:57,047
So, you'd rather drink
and sleep on the couch
than be with me.
248
00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:58,440
I'll tell you what.
249
00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:00,834
You better
pray to God
you got diabetes.
250
00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:03,619
Damn it.
251
00:11:21,332 --> 00:11:23,073
Mom.What?
252
00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:24,596
Are you okay?
253
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,381
I'm fine.
What would make you
think I'm not fine?
254
00:11:26,424 --> 00:11:28,470
'Cause you're beating eggs
with a knife.
255
00:11:31,473 --> 00:11:33,954
I'm sorry,
I don't really
feel like cooking today.
256
00:11:33,997 --> 00:11:35,259
Do you guys mind
having cereal?
257
00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:36,304
Okay.
258
00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:39,611
[SIGHS WEARILY]
259
00:11:39,655 --> 00:11:41,744
Can we eat the cereal
with spoons
instead of knives?
260
00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:43,485
Sure.
261
00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:47,489
Did Nick do something?
262
00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:50,013
It's not what he did,
sweetheart.
It's what he didn't do.
263
00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:51,493
I'm confused.
264
00:11:51,536 --> 00:11:53,669
If guys get in trouble
for stuff they do,
265
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,802
and then get in trouble
for stuff they don't do,
266
00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:57,151
how're you supposed
to know what to do?
267
00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:58,630
Just don't be stupid.
That's how.
268
00:11:59,893 --> 00:12:01,633
My little girl
is growing up.
269
00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:03,723
You're so smart.
270
00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:15,125
[SIGHS WEARILY]
271
00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:16,170
I don't know, man.
272
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:19,477
How am I supposed
to explain this to a kid?
273
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,479
"What? That noise?
274
00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:23,394
"Oh, last night.
275
00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:26,310
"Mommy and Daddy
was watching a movie,
and Mommy got scared."
276
00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:29,270
What? Oh,
you heard me scream?
277
00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:31,402
I got a little scared, too.
278
00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:37,191
Who are you
talking to?
279
00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:39,671
Nobody. I was just
thinking out loud.
280
00:12:39,715 --> 00:12:41,151
Well, I hope
you're thinking
281
00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:43,588
about how to
make what you did
make sense to me.
282
00:12:43,632 --> 00:12:45,112
Because I don't
understand.
283
00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:48,419
Do you have diabetes?
284
00:12:48,463 --> 00:12:50,508
No. Why do you
keep saying that?
285
00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:53,033
Because I'm hoping for
the best.
286
00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:56,166
Nick, I understand
your being tired.
287
00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:59,691
But, you're too tired
to lie down next to me,
and you're drinking?
288
00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:01,258
You got it all wrong.
289
00:13:01,302 --> 00:13:03,434
Are you having
man problems?
290
00:13:03,478 --> 00:13:06,524
No, I am not having
man problems.
291
00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:07,743
Would you tell me
if you were?
292
00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:10,485
Yes.
293
00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:11,616
[SIGHS WEARILY]
294
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:14,315
Okay, well,
that's it.
295
00:13:14,358 --> 00:13:15,795
I don't know
what your problem is,
296
00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:17,057
and you don't seem
to want to tell me
297
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:19,407
and that's okay,
but I'll tell you what.
298
00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:21,931
Tonight, it's on.
299
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:25,413
Like Donkey Kong.
300
00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:26,457
Got it?
301
00:13:27,328 --> 00:13:28,329
Got it.
302
00:13:35,597 --> 00:13:36,641
What's up?
303
00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:38,556
Whoa, what happened
to you?
304
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:39,993
Oh, nothing.
305
00:13:40,036 --> 00:13:42,125
I had to tell Scorpio
I got into a fender bender.
306
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:45,346
I think that girl
is part octopus.
307
00:13:45,389 --> 00:13:47,348
Anyway, I told her
my neck will be healed
in a couple of days
308
00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:50,612
and she's like,
"As soon as that thing
comes off, it's on."
309
00:13:50,655 --> 00:13:52,832
Yeah, a lot
of that going around.
310
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:54,877
Women do not like
to be turned down.
311
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:56,966
Yeah, even if
your neck is broken.
312
00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:58,272
They just won't hear it.
313
00:14:00,491 --> 00:14:01,579
She won't hear it.
314
00:14:02,450 --> 00:14:03,451
That's it!
315
00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:06,019
I know exactly
what you need.
316
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,545
This is the answer
to your problems.
317
00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:12,112
The phone?
318
00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:17,334
[EXCLAIMING IN PAIN]
What is that?
319
00:14:17,378 --> 00:14:19,641
It's an ultrasonic
ring tone.
320
00:14:19,684 --> 00:14:21,469
The younger you are
the better you hear it.
321
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:24,254
Kevin is ten, so he can
hear up to 20 kilohertz.
322
00:14:24,298 --> 00:14:27,997
Lindsey can hear
up to 19.1,
and she's 14.
323
00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:31,914
I'm guessing if Scorpio
can't hear anything
over 17 kilohertz,
324
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,481
she should be
in the clear.
325
00:14:33,524 --> 00:14:34,569
That's insane.
326
00:14:35,178 --> 00:14:36,745
I love it!
327
00:14:36,788 --> 00:14:38,051
Take that stupid thing off.
328
00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:40,096
Oh, good. I think I'm
starting to get a rash.
329
00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:42,142
Man, if this works,
I definitely owe you one.
330
00:14:43,056 --> 00:14:44,100
Can you pay me back now?
331
00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,455
So you've been
ducking Suzanne
all this time
332
00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:52,979
because you're afraid
the kids would hear?
333
00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:54,850
It just started
last week.
334
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,287
Kevin was having
bad dreams.
335
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:00,247
I didn't tell Suzanne
because I didn't want her
336
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:01,988
to think I was having
problems with her kids.
337
00:15:02,031 --> 00:15:03,598
Oh, man, that's
just regular stuff.
338
00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:04,947
Says the man
who hates kids.
339
00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:07,167
I don't hate kids.
340
00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:08,995
I simply
respect children
enough to know
341
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:11,214
I shouldn't be
in their lives
on a regular basis.
342
00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:13,129
Anyway, you know
what to do.
343
00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:15,349
Yeah, yeah. I'm the kids.
You're you and Suzanne.
344
00:15:15,392 --> 00:15:16,959
You walk around,
you play the sound,
345
00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:18,569
I tell you
when I can't
hear it anymore.
346
00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:20,223
Exactly.
347
00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:22,356
We'll start downstairs
and work our way
around the house.
348
00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:24,097
Although,
you are
newly weds.
349
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:25,794
I mean,
what are we using
for a demo here?
350
00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:26,969
I mean, you don't
have a tape...
351
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:28,971
That's my wife, man.
352
00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:30,190
Hey, buddy, it's
your experiment.
353
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,105
It's women's tennis.
354
00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:33,758
Sorry?
355
00:15:33,802 --> 00:15:35,804
You ever see
a women's tennis match?
356
00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:37,501
Sounds like...
357
00:15:37,545 --> 00:15:38,633
[EXCLAIMING QUIZZICALLY]
358
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:40,809
For real.
359
00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:42,158
Just keep listening.
360
00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:43,246
All right.
361
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:47,816
NICK: [OVER RADIO]
You ready?
362
00:15:47,859 --> 00:15:49,600
Yes, Eagle one.
We are. Go.
363
00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:53,561
Can you hear it now?[WOMAN SQUEALING]
364
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:57,304
Oh, yes, I can.
365
00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:59,001
Are you sure
that's women's tennis?
366
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:01,525
Yes, I'm sure,
it's women's tennis.
367
00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:02,874
I'm turning this down.
368
00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:07,096
Can you hear it now?
369
00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:08,837
Uh-huh. Who is
the high-pitched one?
370
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:10,970
Maria Sharapova.
371
00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:15,365
I just never knew tennis
was this compelling.
372
00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:17,759
Can you
hear it now?
373
00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:22,024
Okay, right there.
Nothing.
374
00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:25,593
Dude, when did you
unlock the secret
of women's tennis?
375
00:16:25,636 --> 00:16:28,161
The Williams' sisters.
I started watching.
376
00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:29,597
Let's go upstairs.
377
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,077
I want to see what you hear
from the kids' rooms.
378
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,687
I'm tellin' you, man.
This is a great find.
379
00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:34,732
It's a lot less embarrassing
to walk into blockbuster
380
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:35,907
and rent a tennis match.
381
00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:38,693
What?
382
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:47,832
What was wrong
with that guy?I don't know.
383
00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:49,051
But I can bet you
that's the last time
384
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,748
he'll ever throw
a rock on a police car.
385
00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:52,228
[ALL LAUGHING]
386
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:53,534
[WOMAN SQUEALING]
387
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,841
[WOMAN SQUEALING]
388
00:16:56,885 --> 00:16:58,626
What's that?[WOMAN SQUEALING]
389
00:16:58,669 --> 00:17:00,236
That sounds like...
390
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,933
BOTH: Oh, my God!
391
00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:04,632
Okay. On three, we make
covering noises.
392
00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:05,937
You take the kids
to the car
393
00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:07,374
and go get them
something to eat.
394
00:17:07,417 --> 00:17:09,550
Okay.Do not bring them back
until I call you.
395
00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:10,638
Okay.One.
396
00:17:10,681 --> 00:17:12,248
Suzanne.What?
397
00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:14,816
I'm sorry.
I was really hoping
he had diabetes.
398
00:17:15,556 --> 00:17:16,948
Thank you.
399
00:17:16,992 --> 00:17:19,212
BOTH: One, two, three.
400
00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:22,476
[BOTH SINGING]
♪ La la la la la la
401
00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:24,826
♪ La la la la la la
402
00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:29,091
[WOMAN SQUEALING]
403
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:30,440
I will not kill my man.
404
00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:33,704
I will not kill my man.
405
00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:39,710
I've gotta
tell you, man,
406
00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:41,103
I didn't think
that was gonna work.
407
00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:42,757
I hate to be
on the down-low
in my own house.
408
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,933
But you gotta do
what you gotta do.
409
00:17:44,976 --> 00:17:46,326
At least now the kids
won't know, right?
410
00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:50,939
Nick Kingston-Persons.
411
00:17:50,982 --> 00:17:52,114
How could you?
412
00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:55,030
Suzanne, no!
413
00:17:56,771 --> 00:17:58,033
Do you love him?
414
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,513
Baby, you got it all wrong.
415
00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:01,776
Don't touch me.
416
00:18:04,648 --> 00:18:05,867
Suzanne.
417
00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:09,958
Um, what the hell
was that about?
418
00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:14,658
Suzanne, no!
419
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,103
Gigi, it's a big
misunderstanding.
420
00:18:26,017 --> 00:18:27,149
I know she's there.
421
00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:29,978
'Cause I can
hear her tell you
422
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:31,501
to tell me
that she's not there.
423
00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:35,723
Just tell her
to come home, please?
424
00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:41,163
Gigi run
an interference?
425
00:18:41,685 --> 00:18:42,991
Yep.
426
00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:45,472
After you talk
to Suzanne,
I need to talk to her.
427
00:18:45,515 --> 00:18:47,952
We need to
make sure things
are perfectly clear.
428
00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:49,998
This is how
rumors get started.
429
00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:51,217
And I should know
because I've hooked up
430
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:52,653
with plenty of women
by starting them.
431
00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:56,004
Did the ring tones
work out?
432
00:18:56,047 --> 00:18:59,442
It turns out Scorpio
can't hear anything
above 15 kilohertz.
433
00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:01,618
That's good.
It means she's over 18.
434
00:19:01,662 --> 00:19:03,794
Yeah, way over.
She's 37.
435
00:19:03,838 --> 00:19:06,667
And quote, too old
to be messing around
with some guy
436
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:09,670
who tries to figure out
a woman's age
by fooling with ring tones.
437
00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:12,934
She said if I wanted
to know how old she was,
I should've just asked.
438
00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:14,196
Like that's gonna work.
439
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,676
I guess you
guys didn't...
440
00:19:15,719 --> 00:19:16,764
No.
441
00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:19,027
Can I borrow this?
442
00:19:21,116 --> 00:19:22,161
Excuse me.
443
00:19:23,901 --> 00:19:25,120
[DOORBELL RINGS]
444
00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:29,733
Hey, baby.
445
00:19:29,777 --> 00:19:31,996
Why're you ringing
the doorbell?
Haven't you got your key?
446
00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:34,260
No.
447
00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:36,958
But I can only take
so many surprises
in one day.
448
00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:41,180
Nick, please
make this
make sense to me.
449
00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:44,008
I mean, I can't believe
what was
going on in here.
450
00:19:44,052 --> 00:19:45,488
We have kids!
451
00:19:45,532 --> 00:19:47,490
I know.
That's my problem.
452
00:19:48,883 --> 00:19:50,624
Why are my kids
your problem?
453
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:52,278
Look.
454
00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:57,021
The reason I wasn't,
455
00:19:57,979 --> 00:19:59,459
you know,
456
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,591
was because
I was afraid
the kids could hear us.
457
00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:05,595
The sounds
you heard earlier
weren't me and Martin.
458
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:08,207
It was women's tennis.
459
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:11,688
It's the closest sound
I could think of
to what we weren't doing.
460
00:20:11,732 --> 00:20:13,560
I wanted to
see how loud
things could get
461
00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:14,909
without the kids
hearing us.
462
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:18,695
Women's tennis?
463
00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:21,785
Who was playing?
464
00:20:21,829 --> 00:20:22,960
Maria Sharapova.
465
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:24,048
A white woman?
466
00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:25,876
Can we have
one argument
at a time?
467
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,534
You're telling me
the truth?
468
00:20:32,622 --> 00:20:33,623
Yes.
469
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,322
Prove it.
470
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:38,672
What?The kids
aren't here.
471
00:20:38,715 --> 00:20:41,675
I told Gigi
to keep them with her
until I called.
472
00:20:42,589 --> 00:20:43,633
Oh, then it's on.
473
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:46,767
Hey.What?
474
00:20:46,810 --> 00:20:49,160
You better not
be thinking about
any white women.
475
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,601
[CHUCKLING]
476
00:20:55,602 --> 00:20:56,733
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
477
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,824
[LAUGHING]
478
00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:04,132
[CLOSING THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
33755
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