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1
00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:09,618
Who sends
wedding invitations
in a shoe?
2
00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:11,576
I mean, I went to college.
3
00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:15,363
I never imagined
this is how
I'd be making money.
4
00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:18,322
That's not how I'd imagined
you'd be making money, either.
5
00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:21,325
But when I did imagine it,
you were wearing gold pumps.
6
00:00:21,369 --> 00:00:23,327
Please.
7
00:00:23,371 --> 00:00:27,375
I'm too much of a shoe whore
to even think about these things
touching my feet.
8
00:00:27,418 --> 00:00:29,290
I'm so glad
you said "shoe."
9
00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:31,205
What?
10
00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:33,076
How many more
do we have to do?
11
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,687
I don't know, but bridezilla
just invited 30 more guests.
12
00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:37,646
I need to e-mail
the shoe store
13
00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:39,996
and ask them to hold
eight more boxes.
14
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,911
No! No! No!
15
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:44,131
Hey, baby.
What's wrong?
16
00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:45,915
The Internet
keeps going out.
17
00:00:46,916 --> 00:00:48,309
Let's see.
18
00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:50,789
Oh. Looks like you got
a problem with your reception.
19
00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:52,226
You only got one bar.
20
00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:54,924
Well, how many bars do I need
for Internet access?
21
00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:57,144
Usually, two or three.What?
22
00:00:57,187 --> 00:00:59,102
You see, this is what
I'm talking about.
23
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:00,756
Why would they tease
with one bar?
24
00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:02,540
You're either
on the Internet,
or not.
25
00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:04,412
"Here's one bar.
You're almost there.
26
00:01:04,455 --> 00:01:06,892
"Not quite. We'll talk to you
when you have more bars."
27
00:01:06,936 --> 00:01:08,285
It's just cruel.
28
00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:10,026
NICK: I'll take
care of it for you.
29
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,984
I'll pick up another
wireless router
when I get back.
30
00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,291
Thank you, honey.
31
00:01:14,335 --> 00:01:17,338
What ya'll doing?
Cleaning out your closet?
32
00:01:17,381 --> 00:01:21,951
Please! Like I'd wear shoes
without toe cleavage.
33
00:01:21,994 --> 00:01:25,389
Toe cleavage
is only important to a guy
if your toes are a 36D.
34
00:01:26,912 --> 00:01:30,090
Clearly, he does not know
what I can do with my toes.
35
00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:33,049
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
36
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,224
♪ Are we there yet?
37
00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:38,402
♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me
38
00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:40,143
♪ Tell me, are we there yet?
39
00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:41,971
♪ Are we there yet?
40
00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:43,538
[DOORBELL RINGING]
41
00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:48,282
Hey, Troy. Come on in.
42
00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:51,241
Hi, Mr. Kingston-Persons.
How are you feeling today?
43
00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:55,115
NICK: I'm good.
Are you looking for Kevin?
44
00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:00,424
Sure. Unless you
want to hang out.
45
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,253
He's upstairs.
46
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,000
Hey, Dad. Do you want
to take me shopping?
47
00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:12,088
No.
48
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,133
Thanks for nothing.
49
00:02:14,569 --> 00:02:16,353
Hey, Gigi,
have you seen my mom?
50
00:02:16,397 --> 00:02:17,659
She's with a client. Why?
51
00:02:17,702 --> 00:02:19,008
Because I want her
to take me to the mall,
52
00:02:19,051 --> 00:02:20,357
so I can buy these
diamond earrings
53
00:02:20,401 --> 00:02:21,532
I've been saving up for.
54
00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:23,795
They cost $50.
55
00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,623
Fifty dollars?Yep.
56
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:28,670
Oh, baby, those are
your starter diamonds.
57
00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:30,454
I'm not doing anything.
I'll take ya.
58
00:02:31,238 --> 00:02:32,543
Yes!
59
00:02:32,587 --> 00:02:34,371
[SQUEALS]
60
00:02:34,415 --> 00:02:36,330
Fifty-dollar diamonds.Exactly.
61
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:37,505
That is so cute.
62
00:02:37,548 --> 00:02:39,246
[BOTH LAUGH]
63
00:02:39,289 --> 00:02:41,291
Look what I got.Cool!
64
00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:43,685
What's his name?
65
00:02:43,728 --> 00:02:44,947
He doesn't have one.
66
00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:46,905
But you can
give him one,
if you want.
67
00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:49,256
How about "Whitey"?
68
00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:52,215
I guess.
It's a bit obvious,
but it works.
69
00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:54,348
Want to keep him
for a day?
70
00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:57,177
I can't. My dad's
afraid of rats.
71
00:02:57,220 --> 00:03:00,441
Just keep him in your drawer.
Your dad'll never find it.
72
00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:02,225
Unless he looks
in the drawer.
73
00:03:04,445 --> 00:03:05,663
Good idea.
74
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:17,284
I wish I lived
in a drawer.
75
00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:20,156
Well, I gotta go.
My mom thinks
I'm in the bathtub.
76
00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:29,905
Your eyes are really pink.
77
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,255
A little bed.
78
00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:37,913
Hey, Dad! What you
doing in here?
79
00:03:37,956 --> 00:03:39,349
I need a stronger
Wi-Fi signal,
80
00:03:39,393 --> 00:03:41,569
so I'm gonna
install this router
in your closet.
81
00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:44,049
Oh, do you know
how long you are going
to be in there?
82
00:03:44,093 --> 00:03:45,790
Why, is there
someplace else
you want me to be?
83
00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:48,402
No. Just wondering
if you'd, you know,
84
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,186
be in there
a long time or not,
85
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,014
just in case somebody
was looking for you.
86
00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:02,546
[RAT SCRATCHING]
87
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:05,636
What was that?What?
88
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:08,291
I thought I heard
a scratching noise.
89
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:10,859
Oh, that was me.
My skin is all dry.
90
00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:13,340
Mom keeps taking
her lotion.
91
00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:15,211
What is it with
the two of you
and lotion?
92
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,908
Is that why you don't
want me in here?
93
00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:21,478
No, no. Just, uh,
my skin's all dry.
94
00:04:21,522 --> 00:04:25,003
Try taking a bath.
That'll get rid
of the funk and the itch.
95
00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:26,396
Good idea.
96
00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:29,965
Bye.
97
00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:34,274
That was close.
98
00:04:35,884 --> 00:04:37,146
Whitey?
99
00:04:37,189 --> 00:04:39,583
Whitey? Whitey!
100
00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:43,544
[SIGHS]
101
00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:49,724
[CHUCKLES]
Not the pimp walk.
102
00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:53,031
Is that enough
bars for you?
103
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:56,252
Internet in the car.
I am impressed.
104
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,863
But my question is,
does it work in the house?
105
00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:01,475
Excuse me, excuse me.[LAUGHS]
106
00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:03,564
Got something
to show you right here.
107
00:05:04,086 --> 00:05:05,783
Bam!
108
00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:07,481
If you're workin'
on the couch...
109
00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:09,091
[MIMICS TYPING]
110
00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:11,485
You are connected.
111
00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:14,749
If you're workin'
on the counter,
you're connected.
112
00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:16,577
[LAUGHS]
113
00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:22,017
If you do the robot
in the dining room...
114
00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:26,456
You are
fully connected.
115
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:32,244
With bars like this...
116
00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:34,508
you might get
fully connected.
117
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:37,424
Ooh! You're sexy when
you drop your firewall.
118
00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:38,599
Mmm!
119
00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:39,991
[DOORBELL RINGS]
120
00:05:40,035 --> 00:05:41,645
[SIGHS]
121
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,085
Hey, Troy.
Come on in.
122
00:05:47,129 --> 00:05:50,262
Hi, Mr. Kingston-Persons.
Hi, Mrs. Kingston-Persons.
123
00:05:50,306 --> 00:05:52,656
Hi, Troy.
Kevin's upstairs.
124
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,528
I like the way
you read my mind.
125
00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,620
[LAUGHS]
126
00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:01,186
Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.Hey.
127
00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:03,275
Hi, sweetheart.
You been shopping?
128
00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:05,713
Yes! Yes, I have.
129
00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:07,671
Oh, I'm gonna
get out of here
before all the,
130
00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:10,021
"Oh! That's so cute!"
131
00:06:12,154 --> 00:06:13,590
[LAUGHS]
132
00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:18,160
Look at this, Mom. Bam!
133
00:06:18,203 --> 00:06:20,641
Oh! That's so cute!
134
00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:22,207
LINDSEY: Look at this.
135
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:23,426
Bam!
136
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,168
Oh, and that's
not all.
137
00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:27,212
Look.
138
00:06:27,952 --> 00:06:29,693
Bam!
139
00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:31,956
Lindsey, where'd you get
the money for all this?
140
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,176
GIGI: Oh, I ran into
an old boyfriend,
and we tried to shake him,
141
00:06:34,219 --> 00:06:35,395
but we couldn't.
142
00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:36,961
So, we let him buy us
a bunch of stuff.
143
00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:38,789
GIGI: Mmm-hmm.
144
00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:41,270
You're telling me you let
some man buy Lindsey
all these things?
145
00:06:41,313 --> 00:06:44,229
Oh, and my earrings.
And I still have my 50 bucks.
146
00:06:44,273 --> 00:06:47,102
Lindsey, I don't want you
becoming one of those women
147
00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:49,321
who accepts gifts
from strange men.
148
00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:51,759
But, Mom...No "buts."
Please, go to your room.
149
00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:54,283
Gigi and I need to talk.
150
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:00,724
Where do you think
he went?
151
00:07:00,768 --> 00:07:02,465
I don't know.
He was in my drawer,
152
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:05,468
and then
three seconds later,
he was gone.
153
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:08,166
Dude, you've still got
race car underwear?
154
00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:09,994
What are you, nine?
155
00:07:10,038 --> 00:07:12,170
Troy! We've gotta find Whitey.
156
00:07:12,214 --> 00:07:14,956
If my dad sees him,
somebody's gonna end up dead.
157
00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:18,046
I don't know
if it's gonna be
him, us, or the rat.
158
00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:20,701
All this talk of rats
is making me hungry.
159
00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:22,442
Does your mom have
pita pockets?
160
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:29,057
Z, I don't know
why you're so upset.
161
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:32,190
My daughter just got
a bunch of free stuff
from some man.
162
00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:33,975
It wasn't
just "some man."
163
00:07:34,018 --> 00:07:36,151
He was a man I know
who likes me,
164
00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:37,718
who I don't like,
who's trying to convince me
165
00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:40,372
to like him
by buying me stuff.
166
00:07:40,416 --> 00:07:42,766
I don't think
there's anything
strange about that.
167
00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:45,552
I don't want Lindsey thinking
that's how life works.
168
00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:46,988
That is how life works!
169
00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:50,208
That's what's so great
about being a... woman.
170
00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:51,949
[GIGGLES]
171
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:54,212
How about she uses
her other assets
172
00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:56,084
to get what she wants,
like her brain?
173
00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:59,653
Stupid women do not get
free Prada bags.
174
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:03,483
Gigi, I don't want
Lindsey doing
what you're doing.
175
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:06,529
I'm not raising her
to be dependent on men.
176
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:08,531
Is you accepting flowers
177
00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:11,229
any different from me
accepting a trip
to Puerto Rico?
178
00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:12,796
Yes.
179
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,189
In principle?
180
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,584
Okay, are you independent?
181
00:08:19,411 --> 00:08:21,979
Did you buy this house
by yourself?
182
00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:24,678
Are you raising
your kids by yourself?
183
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:26,810
And you know what?
I am not the one
184
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:28,551
who goes running to her man
185
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:31,554
every time she can't get
a signal on her computer.
186
00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:33,034
No, you run to the mall,
187
00:08:33,077 --> 00:08:34,949
and let a man buy you
a new computer.
188
00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:36,516
That was one time!
189
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:41,433
Are you saying
I'm a bad influence?
190
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:45,307
Yes. I guess that's
what I'm saying.
191
00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:47,788
[SCOFFS]
192
00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:50,399
You know what,
I don't need some
holier-than-thou friend
193
00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:52,532
judging me on what I do.
194
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,578
'Cause I'm a good
person, Suzanne.
195
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:58,189
I am not the hypocrite!
196
00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:00,801
[DOOR CLOSES]
197
00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:30,308
NICK: Hey, Kevin!
198
00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:34,661
Be cool,
be cool, be cool.
199
00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:38,186
Hey, Mr. Kingston-Persons.
200
00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:41,145
The Internet is down.
You boys been messing
with the wires?
201
00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:42,669
BOTH: No.
202
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:46,977
KEVIN:
Can you fix
this later?
203
00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:49,937
We were just about to watch
an episode of Mojo Joe.
204
00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:51,808
How are you going to watch it
if the Internet is down?
205
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:55,377
That's okay.
I gotta go, anyway.
206
00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:58,162
My mom thinks
I'm with the nanny
at the grocery store.
207
00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:02,776
[NICK AND KEVIN SCREAMING]
208
00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:06,083
[BOTH SCREAMING]
209
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:08,129
Hey!
210
00:10:08,172 --> 00:10:10,174
What is the matter?
211
00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:11,480
We have a rat!
212
00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:29,672
Nick, it's a rat,
not Al-Qaeda.
213
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:32,632
Those traps I set out
last night? All tripped.
214
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,198
That rat is playing
tricks on me.
215
00:10:34,242 --> 00:10:36,592
Yeah, well you're not
the only one with a problem.
216
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:40,465
Gigi's not speaking to me.
I don't even know if she's
showing up for work.
217
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:43,294
I know I'm not.
I'm taking a rat day.
218
00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:46,123
I mean, Gigi crossed
the line, didn't she?
219
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:47,777
She can do
whatever she wants.
220
00:10:47,821 --> 00:10:50,084
I just don't want her
doing it in front
of our daughter.
221
00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:52,347
Does our daughter know
there's a rat
loose in the house?
222
00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:53,870
Oh, she doesn't care.
223
00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:56,264
She's probably dreaming
of her next trip to the mall.
224
00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:58,179
She needs to watch out
for those mall rats.
225
00:10:58,222 --> 00:10:59,789
Nick.
226
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,661
Shh, shh, shh.
You hear that?
227
00:11:04,098 --> 00:11:05,099
My God.
228
00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:12,584
Will you please
stop worrying
about the stupid rat?
229
00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:14,412
Baby, rats are not stupid.
230
00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:16,719
Did you know
they're not indigenous
to the United States?
231
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,503
They come from Norway!
232
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:21,855
You cannot be stupid
and get to Seattle from Norway.
233
00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:24,596
Rats are everywhere,
like Carmen Sandiego.
234
00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:27,295
Go!
235
00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:34,171
SUZANNE: Nick?
236
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:38,132
Nick!
237
00:11:38,175 --> 00:11:41,744
I am in the middle
of a crisis
with my best friend
238
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:45,443
and our daughter, and you're
on a ladder, hiding from a rat.
239
00:11:45,487 --> 00:11:47,054
Gigi did what Gigi does.
240
00:11:47,097 --> 00:11:48,403
You know how she is.
241
00:11:48,446 --> 00:11:51,623
I guess. I just didn't
expect her to be that way
242
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,190
in front of Lindsey.
243
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:54,975
Look, Lindsey's
a smart girl.
244
00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:56,759
Just because she got
a free pair of sunglasses
245
00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:58,326
doesn't mean
she's gonna end up
246
00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:00,502
like Lindsay Lohan
or Paris Hilton
or Britney Spears.
247
00:12:00,545 --> 00:12:01,677
You know, white women.
248
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:04,811
Have faith in our daughter.
249
00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:07,639
That's all you got?
"Have faith"?
250
00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:11,034
Are those rat droppings?
251
00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:12,819
Oh, that stuff is deadly.
252
00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:15,299
You can get
leptospirosis,
salmonellosis,
253
00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:16,953
trichinosis,
tuberculosis.
254
00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:20,087
You can also get a broom
and sweep it up.
255
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,003
Baby, can you
get me the broom?
256
00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:27,268
Why don't you just have faith
that the rat won't bite
257
00:12:27,311 --> 00:12:28,791
and get the broom yourself?
258
00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:31,707
Oh, you're funny.
Come on, baby.
Get me the broom.
259
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:34,362
Baby?
260
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:36,625
Babe?
261
00:12:37,147 --> 00:12:38,235
Suzanne?
262
00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:51,379
Your perimeter is clear.
263
00:12:51,422 --> 00:12:53,990
When was the last time
you've seen him?
264
00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:56,427
Well, technically,
I haven't seen him,
but I know he's here.
265
00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:58,995
How do you know?
266
00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:01,737
There were bite marks
in my router cables.
267
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,131
And you believe this
to be a rat?
268
00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:06,916
It was either that,
or the Indian in the Cupboard.
269
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:10,137
The Indian in the Cupboard.
Man, I love that movie.
270
00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:12,182
Didn't it have
a little Indian in it?Yeah, and a little bear.
271
00:13:12,226 --> 00:13:13,357
And the rats tried to get him.
272
00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:15,055
That was terrifying,
right there.
273
00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:17,448
Look, that's why
I'm telling you
this thing is smart, man.
274
00:13:17,492 --> 00:13:18,972
Look, I set traps
out last night,
275
00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:20,843
and this morning,
they were all tripped.
276
00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:22,845
That tell me it was
more than one.
277
00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:24,368
Look, I saw this
on Nat Geo.
278
00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:27,415
Did you know that rats
can meet, court, and mate
279
00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:29,852
in less than
three-and-a-half seconds?
280
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,811
That's almost as fast
as the Kardashians.
281
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,858
I hate to say this, man,
I can't help ya.
282
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,947
Your whole house
has been compromised.
283
00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:41,516
Now, look, if we don't find
this rat in the next 24 hours,
284
00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,561
it's gonna be hell to pay.
285
00:13:43,605 --> 00:13:45,259
I got to get
some heavy artillery.
286
00:13:45,302 --> 00:13:47,304
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You got a gun, man.
287
00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:48,915
What else do you need?
288
00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:51,874
Do you think this
little-bitty gun
is gonna kill a city rat?
289
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:54,398
Boy, you got a lot to learn.
290
00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:56,748
What's that?
291
00:13:57,445 --> 00:13:59,273
[DOOR CLOSES]
292
00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:00,840
Man, I hate it
when he does that.
293
00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,893
Hey, Lindsey.
What you got?
294
00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:12,764
String cheese.
295
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:15,811
Careful not to drop any.
You know there's a rat
loose in the house?
296
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,422
Ew, gross, Nick.
You know I hate rats.
297
00:14:18,466 --> 00:14:19,815
See, that's what
I'm talking about.
298
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:23,950
So what's going on
with you and your mom?
299
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:28,389
She thinks I'm a tramp
because some strange guy
bought me some sunglasses.
300
00:14:28,432 --> 00:14:30,173
She doesn't think
you're a tramp.
301
00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:33,220
She doesn't want you
accepting gifts from men
you don't know.
302
00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:34,961
Neither do I.
303
00:14:35,004 --> 00:14:38,094
Duh. Don't you
think I know that?
304
00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:41,010
Besides, that's
an epic fail.
305
00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:42,446
So, what did you
get, anyway?
306
00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:43,970
It's in the dining room.
You wanna see it?
307
00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:46,407
Can you
bring it in here?
308
00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:47,538
Nope.
309
00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:12,824
Wow, those look expensive.
310
00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:14,130
How much were they?
311
00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:15,349
I don't know.
312
00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:21,659
Rat! Run, Lindsey, run!
313
00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:22,834
[SCREAMS]
314
00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:24,053
Go, go, go!
315
00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:27,361
[GRUNTING]
316
00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:33,410
[SCREAMING]
317
00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:36,979
[CONTINUES SCREAMING]
318
00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:54,388
Don't look at me
like that, Char.
319
00:15:54,431 --> 00:15:56,303
We all have our fears.
320
00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:58,827
I'm afraid of rats,
and, obviously, you were
afraid of championships.
321
00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:02,048
Hey, Nick.Martin!
322
00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:04,093
Don't sneak up on me
like that, man!
323
00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:07,140
I didn't.
What the hell's
wrong with you?
324
00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:11,144
I can't work,
I can't sleep.
I'm jumpy, edgy.
325
00:16:11,187 --> 00:16:13,276
Another fight with
the missus, huh?
326
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,364
No, we didn't get
into a fight.
327
00:16:14,408 --> 00:16:15,844
There's a rat loose
in the house.
328
00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:22,155
Did you know one pair of rats
can shed over a million
body hairs each year?
329
00:16:22,198 --> 00:16:24,157
Rats' front teeth
never stop growing.
330
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,419
And if they don't
gnaw on things,
331
00:16:25,462 --> 00:16:27,508
the teeth can get
up to five inches long.
332
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:30,380
A rat can enter any space
a half an inch wide.
333
00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:33,296
And they can swim as far
as a half-mile in open water.
334
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:35,777
And a rat can drop
50 feet without injury.
335
00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:37,866
And they have
a 36-inch vertical jump.
336
00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:43,263
So, that means if a rat
fell out of a plane
into the ocean
337
00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:45,743
half a mile away from me,
and I was on an island
338
00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:47,223
up in a tree,
sealed up in a box
339
00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:49,878
with only a half-inch
opening for air,
340
00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:51,880
that rat could still
get in and kill me?
341
00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:55,144
[DOOR CLOSES]Martin!
342
00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:56,972
Martin!
343
00:17:16,687 --> 00:17:18,124
Were you this mad at me?
344
00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:20,300
You took all my hard work
and threw it on the floor?
345
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:22,780
Yes, I was
this mad at you,
346
00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:25,566
but no, I didn't do this.
Nick thought he saw a rat.
347
00:17:25,609 --> 00:17:27,046
Well, what was he gonna do?
348
00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:29,439
Embarrass it to death
by making it wear these shoes?
349
00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:34,749
Oh, I'm sorry.
Maybe you don't
need my help,
350
00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:36,229
because you're
an independent woman
351
00:17:36,272 --> 00:17:37,447
who can do
everything herself.
352
00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:38,840
You don't mean that, do you?
353
00:17:38,883 --> 00:17:39,971
No.And I didn't mean it
354
00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:41,756
when I said you were
a bad influence.
355
00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:44,106
And I didn't mean it
when I said you always
run to men for help.
356
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:47,109
I didn't mean it when I said
you weren't good enough to be
around my daughter.
357
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:48,937
You didn't say that.
I said that.
358
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:51,157
I let you say that,
and I didn't say anything.
359
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,506
BOTH: I'm sorry.
360
00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:55,813
SUZANNE: I love you.Mmm.
361
00:17:55,857 --> 00:17:57,685
I love you.I love you, too.
362
00:17:57,728 --> 00:18:00,470
And ZZ, you should
know me by now.
363
00:18:00,514 --> 00:18:03,125
I don't do anything
I don't want to do.
364
00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:05,475
Men do nice things for me
for different reasons.
365
00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:07,608
And just because I don't
agree with the reason,
366
00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:09,262
doesn't mean
I shouldn't benefit.
367
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:11,133
I just don't want
Lindsey to end up
368
00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:14,354
like Paris Hilton
or Lindsay Lohan
or Britney Spears.
369
00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:16,660
You know, white women.
370
00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:18,967
[BOTH LAUGH]
371
00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:21,361
Lindsey's going to grow up
and be a beautiful woman.
372
00:18:21,404 --> 00:18:23,580
She's gonna have to learn
what to take and not,
373
00:18:23,624 --> 00:18:25,626
when and why
and why not to take it.
374
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:32,459
Hi, sweetheart.Hey, Mom.
375
00:18:32,502 --> 00:18:34,156
Can you return these for me?
376
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,418
Why?
377
00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:37,725
Because I wanted to buy
my own earrings.
378
00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:40,031
Oh, and here's
50 bucks.
379
00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:41,424
No, you don't
have to do that.
380
00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:43,383
I know,
but I want to.
381
00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,863
Well, that is very
independent of you.
382
00:18:46,821 --> 00:18:49,302
Thank you.Sweetheart...
383
00:18:49,345 --> 00:18:52,783
You know, if you want to keep
the glasses and the wallet,
you can.
384
00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:55,134
Really?Yeah.
385
00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:57,919
Well, actually I really
don't like the wallet
that much,
386
00:18:57,962 --> 00:19:00,661
so you can take
that one back.
387
00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:05,361
What are you doing
with my money?
388
00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:07,233
You didn't buy
those earrings.
389
00:19:07,276 --> 00:19:09,365
And I need something
to put in my new wallet.
390
00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:10,845
[LAUGHS]
391
00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:16,372
Did you know rats have
incredible physical memory?
392
00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:18,679
They always retrace
their steps.
393
00:19:18,722 --> 00:19:20,637
Where was the last place
you saw him?
394
00:19:20,681 --> 00:19:22,465
In my drawer.
395
00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:23,988
Did you check there?
396
00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:25,729
[MIMICKING]
Did you check there?
397
00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:26,948
Did you check there?
398
00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:32,997
Whitey!
399
00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:37,480
Do you know what
rats are capable of?
400
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:39,569
A lot of people think
rats are stupid,
401
00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:42,659
but you don't get
from Norway to Seattle
by being stupid.
402
00:19:42,703 --> 00:19:44,879
I know!Okay, you ready?
403
00:19:44,922 --> 00:19:46,315
Yeah.All right, let's hit it.
404
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:48,970
Wait, wait, wait.
Take this.
405
00:19:50,101 --> 00:19:51,190
What's this?
406
00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:52,800
It's a letter
to Suzanne.
407
00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:56,282
If anything
should happen to me,
make sure she gets it.
408
00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:58,022
Oh, yeah, you might
not make it, huh?
409
00:20:00,373 --> 00:20:01,635
I'll tell her.
410
00:20:01,678 --> 00:20:03,724
Okay, on my go, all right?Yeah.
411
00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:06,944
Ready, one, two,
three. Let's hit it!
412
00:20:06,988 --> 00:20:08,294
I said hit and quit it!
413
00:20:08,337 --> 00:20:11,253
No! You can't kill Whitey.
He's Troy's pet rat!
414
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:13,124
No, he's not.What?
415
00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:15,344
It's not a pet rat,
it's a food rat.
416
00:20:15,388 --> 00:20:17,781
Little boy,
you was gonna
eat that rat?
417
00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:19,827
I remember when I had
my first rat.
418
00:20:19,870 --> 00:20:22,525
I was in the jungle
in Indonesia.
419
00:20:22,569 --> 00:20:25,659
I took it down with
a glass of Agent Orange.
420
00:20:25,702 --> 00:20:27,704
I wasn't gonna eat it.
421
00:20:27,748 --> 00:20:30,272
I bought it to feed
my uncle's pet python.
422
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:33,057
Why would you
bring that rat in here
knowing I'm scared of 'em?
423
00:20:33,101 --> 00:20:35,582
I'm sorry, Dad.
I wasn't thinking.
424
00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:38,715
You do realize
I'm only 10?
425
00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:41,240
Well, I gotta go.
The snake's starting
to get hungry.
426
00:20:44,025 --> 00:20:46,593
So, you're just gonna let him
feed Whitey to a snake?
427
00:20:46,636 --> 00:20:48,725
Yeah. You saw The Lion King.
428
00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:50,684
It's the circle
of life, dude.
429
00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:53,121
Yup, hakuna matata.
430
00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:55,819
What's that?What?
431
00:20:55,863 --> 00:20:57,256
[DOOR CLOSES]
432
00:20:58,344 --> 00:21:00,346
[CLOSING THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
31550
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