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1
00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:08,138
Hey, Lindsey.Hey.
2
00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:11,054
What are you up to today?Nothing.
3
00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:13,578
Who are you talking to?No one.
4
00:00:13,622 --> 00:00:16,494
Well, tell no one
I said nothing.
5
00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:17,582
Okay.
6
00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:21,499
Hey, Mom.Hi.
7
00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:23,110
Do you mind if I watch
some football?
8
00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:25,938
Well, at least one of my kids
is speaking to me today.
9
00:00:25,982 --> 00:00:27,679
Of course, sweetheart.
Go ahead.
10
00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:28,767
Thank you.
11
00:00:30,943 --> 00:00:32,423
Hey, honey.
What's up?
12
00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:34,599
Nobody, nowhere,
no nothing.
13
00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:38,647
Hey, Kevin.
What're you up to?
14
00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:40,910
Nothing. Just about to
watch some football.
15
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:43,391
Football? I didn't know
you were into football.
16
00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:46,002
Are you kidding?
It's the greatest
sport in the world!
17
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,569
[LAUGHS] My man!
18
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:49,745
I didn't even know
the preseason had started.
19
00:00:49,788 --> 00:00:51,225
COMMENTATOR:
The Super Classic continues.
20
00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:53,096
It's a huge one today
21
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:55,229
as it's the Western
Conference semifinals
game two, tied two all.
22
00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:57,970
What's this?
Put it on football.
23
00:00:58,014 --> 00:01:00,016
What do you mean?
This is football.
24
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,713
Boy, my eyes may not be
what they used to be,
25
00:01:01,757 --> 00:01:03,889
but I know the difference
between soccer and football.
26
00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:05,021
Now change the channel.
27
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:08,111
This is real football.
futbol.
28
00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:11,854
I don't know what "fruitbol"
is, but in America,
we play football.
29
00:01:11,897 --> 00:01:13,725
The sport
I played in college,
30
00:01:13,769 --> 00:01:15,814
with the pads and helmets
and the guys who knock
each other around.
31
00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:17,512
The sport real men play.
32
00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:18,687
Goal!
33
00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:20,819
No fair!
He used his hands!
34
00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:23,083
What kind of sport
doesn't let a man
use his hands?
35
00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:25,172
No wonder nobody
watches this stuff.
36
00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:27,130
It's the most popular sport
in the world.
37
00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:30,133
That may be,
but it's the least popular
sport in my house.
38
00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:31,569
So change the channel.
39
00:01:34,659 --> 00:01:36,008
Change the channel.
40
00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:39,186
You know what...
41
00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:41,753
It's not "frutbol"
okay? It's football.
42
00:01:42,754 --> 00:01:44,147
Look it up
in the dictionary.
43
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,540
Football, man!
44
00:01:45,888 --> 00:01:47,107
Suzanne!
45
00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:48,151
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
46
00:01:48,195 --> 00:01:49,196
♪ Are we there yet?
47
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:53,461
♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me
48
00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:55,463
♪ Tell me, are we there yet?
49
00:01:55,506 --> 00:01:57,073
♪ Are we there yet?
50
00:01:58,553 --> 00:02:00,990
Goal, goal, goal!Yes!
51
00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:06,038
Hey, Kevin.
This came for you.
52
00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:07,518
Cool!
53
00:02:10,956 --> 00:02:12,132
What's that?
54
00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:14,177
It's my autographed photo
of Hope Solo.
55
00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:16,353
She is my favorite
football player.
56
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:21,141
There are no football players
named "Hope."
57
00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:22,838
Football players
have names like
58
00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:27,582
Mean Joe Greene,
Refrigerator Perry,
L.T., T.O., A.P., Eli.
59
00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:29,671
What about Chris Hope
on the Tennessee Titans?
60
00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:33,849
Can you frame that for me?Sure.
61
00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:34,980
Goal!
62
00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:36,634
Goal!
63
00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:38,070
Yes!
64
00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:49,821
Hey, baby.
65
00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:50,909
Hey.
66
00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:57,394
What are you doing?Uh, taking a quiz.
67
00:02:58,569 --> 00:03:00,441
Who is Tyra Cyrus?
68
00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:02,225
Oh, that's me.
69
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:05,010
I created a fake profile
and friended one of
Lindsey's friends.
70
00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:06,490
That way
she would friend me.
71
00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:08,840
This way,
I can see her profile.
72
00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:10,581
So since your daughter
won't speak to you,
73
00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:14,063
you decided the best way
to get to know her
was to spy on her?
74
00:03:14,106 --> 00:03:17,022
Hey, that's the way
we deal with North Korea.
75
00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:19,851
And, Nick, it's not spying.
It's "friending."
76
00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:22,332
Do what you want,
but I think
it's a bad idea.
77
00:03:22,376 --> 00:03:26,206
Did you know that Lindsey is
into saving the dolphins?
78
00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:29,513
And if she had $5,000,
she'd spend it on a Segway?
79
00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:32,212
Why wouldn't she spend it
on saving the dolphins?
80
00:03:32,255 --> 00:03:34,301
Because nobody asked you.
Who is that?
81
00:03:35,084 --> 00:03:36,912
Oh, that's Hope Solo.
82
00:03:36,955 --> 00:03:38,479
Did you know Kevin
was into soccer?
83
00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,263
Yes. I'm his mother.
84
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:42,265
He's been into soccer
since he was five.
85
00:03:42,874 --> 00:03:43,962
What's the problem?
86
00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:45,834
The problem is,
it's a girl's sport.
87
00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:47,444
The only men I know
who play soccer
88
00:03:47,488 --> 00:03:50,578
are Pele and that dude who
married Posh Spice.
89
00:03:50,621 --> 00:03:52,754
You're worried about
my son's masculinity,
90
00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:55,583
but you know
who Posh Spice is?
91
00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:56,975
That's because I like girls.
92
00:03:57,019 --> 00:03:58,934
I'm not trying to
bend it like Beckham.
93
00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:01,066
Okay. Well,
Kevin loves soccer.
94
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:03,330
You should give it a chance.
You might like it, too.
95
00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:05,941
No way. I like
using my hands too much.
96
00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:07,682
He should give football
a chance.
97
00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:11,251
Well, do what you want,
I know my children. [GASPS]
98
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:14,645
Lindsey just joined the group,
"Megan Fox Must Be Stopped."
99
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:17,300
[SCOFFS]
100
00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:25,395
Hey, buddy. Got here
as fast as I could.
101
00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:27,005
Thanks. You got it?
102
00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:28,224
Bam!
103
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,095
Here it is. Madden 11.
104
00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:33,316
This baby is so new,
John Madden doesn't
even know about it.
105
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,579
Put it over there
by Barkley.
106
00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:37,625
I didn't think Kevin
was into football.
107
00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:41,019
He's not.
That's the problem.
He's into soccer.
108
00:04:41,063 --> 00:04:42,804
And his favorite athlete
is a girl.
109
00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:45,067
I don't want to
have to buy him
a sports bra.
110
00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:46,938
Hmm. Ouch.
111
00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:51,726
In the final score,
it's Girl Power, one.
Father Figure, nothing.
112
00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:54,859
All that's going to change
after we play a few games
of Madden.
113
00:04:54,903 --> 00:04:57,949
Mmm. Unless he plays it
and decides he wants to
be a cheerleader.
114
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,301
It happens!
115
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:15,489
Who are you, strange boy,
sending my daughter gifts?
116
00:05:15,532 --> 00:05:18,056
I'm gonna have
to friend you, too.
117
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,275
[DOORBELL RINGS]
118
00:05:23,932 --> 00:05:25,368
Suzanne, I have an emergency.
119
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:26,630
What is it?
120
00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:29,154
You know that guy
I've been dating, Jonathan?
121
00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:31,200
Yeah. What did he do?
122
00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:33,463
Nothing.
That's the problem.
123
00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:36,031
Every time I call him,
he doesn't answer.
124
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:39,774
And when I ask why he didn't
call me back, he acts like
he never got the message.
125
00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:41,906
So last night,
126
00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:45,997
I tried one last time to get
his attention by sending him
naked pictures of me.
127
00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:49,131
No, you didn't.
128
00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:50,524
Yes, I did.
129
00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:54,092
And he didn't respond.
130
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:57,052
So, tomorrow
I'm gonna break up
with him.
131
00:05:57,095 --> 00:05:59,707
Okay, what's the problem?
You've broken up with
tons of guys.
132
00:05:59,750 --> 00:06:01,578
The problem is
133
00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:04,059
I want to make sure those
pictures are deleted off
his phone first.
134
00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:05,626
Because the last thing
you want to do
135
00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:08,411
is break up with a guy
who has naked pictures
of you.
136
00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:10,631
I mean, you've seen what
happened to John Edwards.
137
00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:13,373
Okay, what do you
need me to do?
138
00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:15,462
Okay.
139
00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:17,725
Tomorrow night, I'm going out
to dinner with him,
140
00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:19,901
and at 9:00,
I need you to call me.
141
00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:21,076
And when I answer,
142
00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:22,817
I'm gonna act like
my phone went dead,
143
00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:24,819
and ask to borrow
his phone.
144
00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:29,127
And then I'm gonna go
into his phone and delete
the pictures I sent him.
145
00:06:29,171 --> 00:06:31,652
Why don't you just
ask him to delete them?
146
00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:35,307
Like a man would voluntarily
delete naked pictures of me.
147
00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:37,135
I don't think so.
148
00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:39,790
That's funny, though.
149
00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:41,401
Right.
150
00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:00,289
What are you doing
with my hat?
151
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:03,248
I'm trying to take a better
picture for my profile.
152
00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:04,641
Well, if you wanted
a better picture,
153
00:07:04,685 --> 00:07:06,687
you might as well
wear a paper bag
over your head.
154
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:10,125
Now give me my hat.No.
155
00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:11,648
Give me my hat!
What's wrong
with you?
156
00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:14,869
Hey, hey, hey, you two,
what is going on?
157
00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:16,087
Nothing.
158
00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:19,439
Oh! What's wrong
with Lindsey?
159
00:07:20,178 --> 00:07:21,484
I don't know.
160
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:25,357
But I am about to
find out.
161
00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:29,013
Hey, Kev. You want to
test out an early version
of the new Maddengame?
162
00:07:29,057 --> 00:07:30,798
Madden?What's that?
163
00:07:30,841 --> 00:07:33,888
It's a football game.
NFL football.
164
00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:35,890
Sure, I guess.All right, cool.
165
00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:41,286
See, it's working.
166
00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:43,245
What's the latest
on Lindsey?
167
00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:45,987
She just updated
her profile pic.
168
00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:48,076
And Jenny likes it.
169
00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:50,252
It's working!
170
00:07:50,295 --> 00:07:52,036
"Me, too."
171
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,343
Smiley face.
172
00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:55,823
"Send."
173
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:04,919
All right, Kevin,
174
00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:07,443
I'll be the Seahawks.
You should be the Vikings.
175
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,837
They have Adrian Peterson,
the fastest-rated player.
176
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,622
Who's got the best kicker?
177
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:15,756
Kevin, no one picks a team
based on the kicker.
178
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,630
The Lions' kicker looks good.
I'll be them.
179
00:08:20,674 --> 00:08:23,241
No, no. You cannot
be the Lions.
180
00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:27,594
Kevin, the Lions are
the only team in the history
of the NFL to go 0-16.
181
00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:31,859
I don't even know why they
wear uniforms. They should
just play in jean shorts.
182
00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:34,035
I don't care.
I wanna be the Lions.
183
00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:35,776
Fine, you can be
the Lions.
184
00:08:35,819 --> 00:08:37,865
But don't come
crying to me when you
don't reach the endzone.
185
00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:40,694
What's an endzone?
186
00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:42,522
Okay, this is gonna be
a long game.
187
00:08:52,444 --> 00:08:55,056
Yes! First down!
188
00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:58,015
Not bad, Kev,
you made it down
to the 40-yard line.
189
00:08:58,059 --> 00:09:00,844
I think you might be
better than the actual
Detroit Lions.
190
00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:05,806
Wait, wait, what are
you doing? You can't
line up for a field goal.
191
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:07,459
Why not?
192
00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:08,983
Because it's first down,
and you're on
the 40-yard line.
193
00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:10,898
You want to
score a touchdown.
194
00:09:10,941 --> 00:09:12,377
I like field goals.
195
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,119
[COMMENTATOR]
And, it's good.
196
00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:17,034
Yes! Field goal!
197
00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:19,994
Wow! Fifty-eight yards
straight down the middle.
198
00:09:20,037 --> 00:09:21,299
This kid can kick!
199
00:09:23,954 --> 00:09:26,435
Pick up, pick up
the thing. Let's go.
200
00:09:26,478 --> 00:09:28,306
I'll whoop you.Let's go.
201
00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:34,399
He's down to the 10,
the five, and fumble!
202
00:09:34,443 --> 00:09:37,272
And the Lions take over
at the Seahawks' one-yard line!
203
00:09:37,315 --> 00:09:38,578
Oh, baby!
204
00:09:39,404 --> 00:09:40,841
And in a surprise move,
205
00:09:40,884 --> 00:09:43,626
the kicking team
trots back out
onto the field...
206
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,454
Wait, what are
you doing?
207
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:48,283
You're on the one-yard line.
You have one yard to go
for a touchdown.
208
00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:49,458
KEVIN: I like field goals.
209
00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:52,635
Yes! Field goal!
210
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:56,596
And our score.
Lions, six,
Seahawks, zero.
211
00:09:58,032 --> 00:09:59,250
Come on.But I'm hungry.
212
00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:01,644
Come on, pick it up.
Let's go. Let's play.
213
00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:03,603
Field goal!
214
00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:05,343
Field goal!
215
00:10:06,344 --> 00:10:07,737
Field goal.
216
00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:09,609
Field goal!
217
00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:10,610
Field goal.
218
00:10:12,089 --> 00:10:13,569
Field goal.
219
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:14,962
Filed goal!Field goal!
220
00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:18,574
Yes! I win!
221
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:22,186
Turn out the lights, folks,
this party is over!
222
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:25,537
I can't believe you won
on all field goals.
223
00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:27,539
Hey, at least you were right
about one thing,
224
00:10:27,583 --> 00:10:29,324
he never did make it
to the endzone.
225
00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:31,761
Touchdowns are stupid.
226
00:10:31,805 --> 00:10:33,502
Why would you let
everybody hit you
227
00:10:33,545 --> 00:10:35,591
when you can just kick it
right over their heads?
228
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,680
He does have a point.
229
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:40,640
Plus, lots of these kickers
were former soccer players.
230
00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:43,555
And everybody knows soccer
players are better than
football players.
231
00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:45,775
Excuse me?
232
00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:48,343
I know a lot of soccer players
who could easily play football.
233
00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:50,475
I don't know any football
players who could play soccer.
234
00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:52,956
And you are excused.
235
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,566
I was a football player,
236
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:56,917
and I could
beat you in soccer
any day of the week!
237
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,570
How about tomorrow?
We can have a shootout.
238
00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:00,877
Fine!Fine.
239
00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:06,013
What's a shootout?
240
00:11:08,798 --> 00:11:10,365
What's a shootout?
241
00:11:17,502 --> 00:11:19,113
"Hi, Lindsey.
242
00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:22,551
"If you're still thinking
about it, I say go for it."
243
00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:24,814
Go for what?
244
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:30,080
Hey, Lindsey.Hey.
245
00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:32,909
Been thinking
about anything?Not really.
246
00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:34,955
Going for something?
247
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,783
Huh? No.
248
00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:39,655
[DOORBELL RINGS]
249
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:43,224
Hey, Gigi!
250
00:11:43,267 --> 00:11:45,400
You're not gonna
believe this.
251
00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:46,488
What now?
252
00:11:46,531 --> 00:11:49,099
That man deleted
naked pictures of me!
253
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:52,059
Voluntarily?Yes!
254
00:11:52,102 --> 00:11:54,278
Last night worked perfectly
when you called me.
255
00:11:54,322 --> 00:11:55,845
But when I borrowed
Jonathan's phone,
256
00:11:55,889 --> 00:11:58,587
and went outside
to delete the pictures
I'd sent him,
257
00:11:58,630 --> 00:11:59,806
they weren't even there.
258
00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:01,068
That's great!
259
00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:02,852
No, it's not.
260
00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:06,769
I don't send those pictures
to just anybody.
How dare he delete them?
261
00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:09,772
Wait, I thought
the whole point
of this scheme
262
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:12,383
was to get your pictures
off of his phone.
263
00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:15,604
Yes, it's okay
if I delete them.
But he shouldn't!
264
00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:17,867
He should be sending them
all over the Internet.
265
00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:21,044
I should be
on the front page
of Media Takeout.
266
00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:23,786
I see.
267
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,788
Gigi, what's up
with the gear?
268
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:27,529
Oh, I just came
from boxing class.
269
00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:30,401
I'm trying to work off
my aggression before
I see him again tonight,
270
00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:32,577
because, this time,
271
00:12:32,621 --> 00:12:35,624
I'm gonna make him
beg me to send him pictures.
272
00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:38,366
And then
I'm going to dump him.
273
00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:41,238
I see.
274
00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:42,849
Well...
275
00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:45,416
That'll teach him to delete
inappropriate pictures of you
276
00:12:45,460 --> 00:12:47,767
that you wanted
to delete anyway.
277
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:49,899
Mmm. I knew you'd understand.
278
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:52,336
Did you drive like that?
279
00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:54,164
Can you help me?
280
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:55,600
Gigi!What?
281
00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:58,125
There's no peripheral vision.
You can't even see.
282
00:12:58,168 --> 00:12:59,604
Well, I didn't have to
see all that much.
283
00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:01,258
It was just a straight line
and then I had to turn,
284
00:13:01,302 --> 00:13:02,433
and then another
straight line.
285
00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:03,521
Then, I did a U-turn...
286
00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:07,874
Ah!
287
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:09,397
Ready, baby.
288
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,792
What makes the grass grow?
Sweat makes the grass grow!
289
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,493
Hut! Hut! Hut!
290
00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:29,460
What are you doing?
291
00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:32,333
Defensive football drills.
292
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:35,379
Soccer players
wouldn't know
anything about it.
293
00:13:35,423 --> 00:13:36,903
What are you doing here?
294
00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:38,513
Somebody had to bring
the snacks.
295
00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:40,515
Plus, I need to
be here to make sure
everything is fair
296
00:13:40,558 --> 00:13:44,084
and that nobody has anything
to complain about no matter
what happens.
297
00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:45,128
Orange slice?
298
00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:52,962
KEVIN: Are you ready?I was born ready.
299
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,138
Goal!
300
00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:57,880
Hey, hey, hey.
I wasn't ready!
301
00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:00,274
Now I'm ready.
302
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:02,972
Goal!
303
00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:04,191
You know what?
304
00:14:04,234 --> 00:14:06,019
You better enjoy that one,
305
00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:08,238
because that's going to be
the last one you get.
306
00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:12,199
[GRUNTS]
307
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,728
Look, Gigi, Lindsey has
692 friends on here.
308
00:14:19,771 --> 00:14:21,469
Wow.
309
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:23,906
Look, she's taken a quiz,
310
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:26,430
"Who is your biracial
boyfriend?"
311
00:14:27,562 --> 00:14:30,043
And she's joined
another group.
312
00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:34,177
"Did You Know Megan Fox
Has Clubbed Thumbs?"
313
00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:35,787
What is up with her
and Megan Fox?
314
00:14:35,831 --> 00:14:38,790
Oh, look,
she's been poked
67 times!
315
00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:42,142
And Jeremy commented
on her post,
316
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:46,233
"Am thinking about
going all the way
this week."
317
00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:47,451
What do you think
that means?
318
00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:51,412
I think it means
what it's always meant.
319
00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:54,197
Sex?
320
00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,504
No way, mm-mmm,
not my Lindsey.
321
00:14:56,547 --> 00:14:59,333
That could mean
any number of things.
322
00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:02,336
What's going on out there?Soccer shootout.
323
00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:06,557
Oh, soccer players!
So athletic.
324
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:08,864
What do you mean
it could mean
any number of things?
325
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,300
I don't know!
326
00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:12,737
Well, you need to have
a talk with your daughter.
327
00:15:12,781 --> 00:15:14,391
[BALL BANGS DOOR]
328
00:15:14,435 --> 00:15:15,653
I don't believe this.
329
00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:17,568
And while you're
on the subject,
330
00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:20,528
make sure you tell her
never to send a guy
naked cell phone pictures.
331
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:31,017
SUZANNE:
How'd the game go?
332
00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:33,584
It was great.
I beat him 10-1.
333
00:15:33,628 --> 00:15:34,846
He did better than
I thought though.
334
00:15:34,890 --> 00:15:37,719
Why don't you go upstairs
and get cleaned up?
335
00:15:37,762 --> 00:15:39,460
But I didn't even
break a sweat.
336
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,201
Go!
337
00:15:41,766 --> 00:15:42,811
Fine.
338
00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:48,469
Nick, I need to talk to you
about Lindsey.
339
00:15:48,512 --> 00:15:50,123
Can we do it sitting down?
340
00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:54,431
[GRUNTS WEARILY]
341
00:15:55,824 --> 00:15:57,043
Okay.
342
00:15:57,086 --> 00:16:00,872
So, Lindsey is thinking
about having sex.
343
00:16:00,916 --> 00:16:03,310
I saw it on her web page.
344
00:16:03,353 --> 00:16:05,877
See, I told you spying on her
would lead to trouble.
345
00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:07,357
Spying on who?
346
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:11,013
Lindsey, would you have
a seat, please?
347
00:16:11,492 --> 00:16:13,711
Uh, okay.
348
00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:15,104
Maybe I should
leave you two alone.
349
00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:17,802
No, Nick, you stay.
I need your support on this.
350
00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:19,587
Fine.
351
00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:22,372
What's this about?
352
00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:24,244
Your mother was wondering...Are you thinking about
having sex?
353
00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:26,507
What? Why would you ask me
something like that?
354
00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:27,856
Because...I saw it on your web page
355
00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:29,989
that you're thinking
about going all the way.
356
00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:32,382
You saw my web page? How?
357
00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:35,081
She created...I created a fake profile,
so I could see it.
358
00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:38,867
Lindsey, why didn't you tell me
that you were thinking about
having sex?
359
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:41,826
I thought I could trust you
to come to me with
things like this.
360
00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:45,091
Wait a minute.
361
00:16:45,134 --> 00:16:47,745
You created a fake profile
to spy on me, and you're
talking about trust?
362
00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:50,009
She was just...I was just trying to
find out more about you,
363
00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:53,360
because it seems like
you never wanna talk
to me anymore.
364
00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:55,536
Well, that's not the way
to go about it, Mom.
365
00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:57,233
And I'm not thinking about
having sex.
366
00:16:57,277 --> 00:16:59,061
Then why...Then why does it say
on your profile
367
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:01,368
that you're thinking about
going all the way?
368
00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:03,065
I was talking about my hair.
369
00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:05,241
I hated my last haircut,
370
00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:07,548
and I was thinking about
cutting it really short.
371
00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:09,724
Really?Really?
372
00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:12,379
Really. How could you
spy on me like that?
373
00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:18,472
Sweetheart, I'm sorry
for spying on you.
374
00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:21,127
It was wrong and stupid.
375
00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:23,999
Will you forgive me?
376
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,567
Yes. Which one
of my friends are you?
377
00:17:28,003 --> 00:17:29,700
Tyra Cyrus.
378
00:17:29,744 --> 00:17:32,094
Tyra Cyrus? Really?
379
00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:39,928
That was nice.
380
00:17:39,971 --> 00:17:41,408
No thanks to you.
381
00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:44,411
You barely said anything.
Thanks for backing me up.
382
00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:58,468
I never knew soccer
could be so hard, Charles.
383
00:17:58,512 --> 00:18:01,602
All I wanted to do was
prove to the little guy
I still had it.
384
00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:03,386
Like when you played with
Scottie Pippen.
385
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:07,521
Although we did make
a little connection.
386
00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:09,262
I spent more time with him
in the last two days
387
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:11,090
than I did
the whole last month.
388
00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:16,834
How are you feeling?
389
00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:20,447
Like I just played
a double overtime game
in the Super Bowl, and lost.
390
00:18:21,926 --> 00:18:24,668
Oh, my big, strong man.
391
00:18:24,712 --> 00:18:26,888
Ow.Ooh.
392
00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:28,716
I'm sure you probably
let him win.
393
00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:31,893
Yeah. I kind of did.
394
00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:34,983
Thanks, baby.
395
00:18:35,026 --> 00:18:38,291
Kevin loves soccer.
That's not gonna change.
396
00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,119
You know what else
is never gonna change?
397
00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:42,643
How much I love you.
398
00:18:44,427 --> 00:18:47,213
Come on, let's go
inside and I'll rub
your tired old legs.
399
00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:48,736
All right. Let's go.
400
00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:49,954
Ow.
401
00:18:54,742 --> 00:18:56,961
[GIGGLES]
402
00:18:57,005 --> 00:18:58,702
Any chance we could
stay out here?
403
00:19:01,705 --> 00:19:02,706
Ow.
404
00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:05,100
Oh, my goodness!I know.
405
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:06,493
Okay.Okay.
406
00:19:07,494 --> 00:19:08,582
Ooh, help me.
407
00:19:14,501 --> 00:19:16,372
Morning!Morning!
408
00:19:17,591 --> 00:19:19,506
Oh, did you break up
with Jonathan yet?
409
00:19:20,071 --> 00:19:22,204
Actually, no.
410
00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:25,164
Get this, turns out
I always had
his number wrong.
411
00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:27,514
Which explains why
he never returned my calls,
412
00:19:27,557 --> 00:19:31,648
and why my pictures
weren't on his phone.
He never got them!
413
00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:33,737
So, who's been getting
your pictures?
414
00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:37,045
I don't know. I texted
the person this morning,
but I haven't heard back yet.
415
00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:39,439
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
416
00:19:39,482 --> 00:19:40,918
Oh, the mystery person!
417
00:19:43,747 --> 00:19:45,532
"Hi. My name is Carl."
418
00:19:45,575 --> 00:19:46,968
Oh, no, it's a guy!
419
00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:49,884
"Thanks for the pics.
420
00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:51,929
"Let's get together soon.
421
00:19:51,973 --> 00:19:53,975
"Here is a picture of me."
422
00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:56,499
BOTH: Eww!
423
00:19:56,543 --> 00:20:00,286
Doesn't anybody send pictures
of their faces anymore?
424
00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:01,809
You didn't!
425
00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:04,246
Oh, damn. Now I gotta
get a new phone.
426
00:20:09,730 --> 00:20:14,343
All right. With seconds
left on the clock,
Double KP sets up, he shoots.
427
00:20:14,387 --> 00:20:17,390
Goal! And the crowd
goes wild!
428
00:20:18,391 --> 00:20:19,957
Hey, man.Hey.
429
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,570
I got something for you.
430
00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:27,791
Who's this?Pete Gogolak.
431
00:20:27,835 --> 00:20:29,619
Placekicker for the Giants
432
00:20:29,663 --> 00:20:32,709
and was also responsible for
bringing soccer-style
kicking to the NFL.
433
00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:35,408
Whoa, thanks, Dad.
I love it!
434
00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:38,280
Turns out he was also
the Giants' all-time
leading scorer.
435
00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:40,674
A former soccer player.
Who would've guessed it, huh?
436
00:20:40,717 --> 00:20:42,589
Yeah.
437
00:20:42,632 --> 00:20:44,721
I guess
I underestimated you.
438
00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:47,463
Hey, I'm 10.
It happens.
439
00:20:47,507 --> 00:20:49,552
So she's your favorite
soccer player, huh?
440
00:20:49,596 --> 00:20:51,859
Yep, but that's not why
I wanted the picture.
441
00:20:52,468 --> 00:20:53,600
Huh?
442
00:20:53,643 --> 00:20:55,166
No, it's because she's hot.
443
00:20:57,604 --> 00:20:59,606
[CLOSING THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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