Original subtitles

Stop being such chickens. Just grab the rope.

No, no way. I don't want to lose my badge.

If we get caught, Bade Papa's gonna kill me.

Avni, it's the last day of school.

From tomorrow, you're not gonna be so important.

Come on!

God save us!

One...

two...

three!

- Run! - Come on.

Go back to class.

The class isn't over. Go!

Hey!

Go back!

Back to your class.

No!

- I love you more. - Yuck!

- I can't wear it to the party, it's ugly. - No.

No.

I love you more.

No, you hang up.

Sakshi! What the fuck!

Enough, man.

You're following Arjun to Pune, right?

How about spending some time with us?

Simbi is one of the top five law colleges.

We just got done with finals.

Why are we already talking about college?

What's the rush?

Let's just go to Prague for a year or two.

Dad just bought a villa there.

Wow! Prague!

Sounds so exotic.

Take me with you.

Show me some hot white guys.

Bade Papa has already lined up some hillbillies for me to marry.

Like really long beard...

hair coming out of their ears.

God!

What century does Bade Papa live in?

Isn't job, career, or anything else important to him?

A girl just needs to finish school and get married.

I seriously have no interest in getting married.

I just refuse to.

- Congratulations, my Veerus. - Hello, Auntie.

It's "Veere", Ma. Veere, like bros.

Yeah, yeah! Whatever.

You guys did it!

School's finally over!

Hey!

- What's up, girls? - Hello, Uncle.

- Hi, Uncle. - There you go.

Exams are over.

Smile, please.

We're going to the club.

And we won't return soon.

Don't do anything I would.

Okay, girls.

- Cheers! - Guys look, champagne.

You're the crazy one! You're bloody mad!

Kishan, how does it matter? We eat in the club every day.

Absolutely not.

Fine then, leave!

And don't bother coming back!

- If I could, I would never come back! - Selfish!

- Just bloody selfish! - Guys! The girls are here.

This house doesn't belong to your father.

Just look at him, Cookie.

This is the same guy who used to come all the way

from Civil Lines to GK just to say good night to me.

The girl I used to come for wasn't crazy.

Marrying you was the biggest mistake of my life.

This marriage is just making a fool out of us.

Guys, please.

This woman has destroyed my life.

Parents always hide their mistakes from their kids.

- I'll show you destruction. - Ritu.

I have lost everything.

Well, at least we try.

We fear they might make the same mistakes we did.

And so, we don't even let them make their own mistakes.

By now, my daughter already knows that life isn't a fairy tale.

But it's very important to dream.

I think one should make mistakes in life.

And one should learn from them as well.

Pay for one's own mistakes and not for someone else's.

Listen, guys, I won't be coming back home with you guys after the party.

Why?

Actually...

Arjun's parents are in Shimla.

- So, we were thinking... - Shut up!

Are you serious?

I mean I love him.

And... he's the one.

Oh, my!

No wonder!

Looks like she's getting married before me.

Hope you're carrying protection.

- Arjun! - Shut up!

Arjun!

Meera, give it back!

Till you don't learn from your mistakes, how will you write your own story?

To live life on your own terms.

To Prague. Here I come.

To Bade Papa. I'm not coming.

To Pune.

Arjun, I'm coming.

I'm coming...

To Pune.

- To us, Bros. - To us, Bros.

I love you, guys.

The biggest mistake of my life...

I died before I could say all this to my daughter, Kalindi.

Come on, Rishab, let's go back it's my favorite song.

- Kaloo, we need to talk. - It's my favorite song.

Listen, I've been thinking about this, okay?

Like constantly...

Listen, we've been together for three years now. Right?

And we're very different people.

I mean, we are poles apart...

And... but...

So, Kaloo...

- Are you breaking up with me? - Will you marry me?

What?

Wait, let me do this again.

I lost my momentum.

Kalindi Puri,

will you marry me?

Baby, I'll be right back.

But...

Fuck!

Calm down.

Calm down...

- No, no, not for you, she's inside. - How cute.

Enjoy the concert.

I'll just...

Calm down, calm down!

Rishab, I can't marry you.

I mean not you in particular.

I can't marry anyone.

Kaloo,

stop talking to yourself like a crazy person.

And don't scratch yourself.

At least come out.

Rishab, why?

Everything is so perfect.

Why are you doing this?

Wow!

Because I love you?

And...

I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Isn't that reason enough?

Of course.

I also love you.

But why do we need to get married?

We've already been living together for the last two years.

But for how long, Kaloo?

The Indian in me wants to marry you.

Okay.

You know what?

Forget it.

Rishab, do you actually want to do this?

- Do you really want to? - Yes.

Rishab, everything changes once you get married... trust me.

Maybe, but I love you.

And that will never change.

Okay.

Okay?

Is that a yes?

Yes.

I'm still scared.

We'll manage!

TRUTH ALWAYS TRIUMPHS DIVORCE COURT

Your Honor, how can she demand maintenance?

The facts remain that she has emptied the entire locker.

She hasn't worked a day in her life.

Say something.

And apart from creating drama, she hasn't done much with her life.

She's getting what she deserves.

Zero.

She doesn't deserve a single penny.

Bloody witch!

I told you, my office is under renovation.

Please send the check to my house.

- Idiot. - Here.

My dear, what's going on with you?

And do you need to wear these pants?

You look like a lesbo.

I have to Mom, it's the lesbian dress code.

Starting tomorrow, I'll go to Tis Hazari in a bikini.

Maybe I'll find a boy then?

Look at this one, his name is Manish.

Here. He's an engineer.

Went to college in America.

Annual package of two million. Have a look.

Okay, you old woman. Okay.

You were always first in everything.

Then why are you behind in this matter?

No!

But, sweetheart, it's a child restrainer.

No!

Meera, absolutely not.

I'm not letting you put our son on a leash.

I'm the one who has to chase him all day.

Bloody nuisance.

Eating-nuisance, sleeping-nuisance.

I would've slapped him if we didn't live in America.

Hey, babe.

Kabir's daycare is doing family trees next week.

Oh, okay, that's nice.

So, we need pictures of your family.

- Come on. - No.

Get lost.

Baby, please?

They're your family.

At least talk to them.

You're stubborn.

What? I'm stubborn?

They are stubborn.

Look, John, if they can't accept you...

then I'm not interested in talking to them.

- End of discussion. - Come on, Meera.

And no, no restrainer.

He doesn't need restraining.

Just needs you to stop spoiling him.

What have I done now?

Well, for starters, he's two and he still sleeps with us.

That's not normal.

I refuse to let my child sleep alone in a room like you Americans.

Alright?

- Right, baby? Right? - Mom...

Was simple, ready to mingle

Now have to enter into holy matrimony

Unsteady, untrustworthy

Unsteady, untrustworthy

Hello, Sakshi Soni.

You've been back at your parents' for quite a while now.

Hi, Auntie Kunkun. Hello, Auntie.

Good morning, Auntie.

- Expecting? - No.

So when are you and Vineet coming over?

Actually, Auntie, he hasn't come.

What?

- Is he still in London? - Yes.

- How does he manage alone? - Just fine.

- When is he coming to get you? - Soon.

Your dress is very nice.

Yes...

Where are you coming from?

From a meeting. Okay, bye.

- Bye. - Okay, meeting!

Hi, Vineet!

Hello, Papa.

Good evening.

Or in your case, good morning?

- Where is Sakshi? - Sakshi?

Why isn't she answering my phone?

Sakshi is sleeping.

- Vineet. - I've been trying to contact her

for two days, but haven't been successful.

- There, she's up. - Okay.

Yes, Vineet?

- Sakshi. - Yes.

Why aren't you taking my calls?

You bloody jackass!

How dare you call my father!

Listen, before I tell everyone what kind of a girl you are,

and what you spend the whole day doing.

I'm not even scared of my father...

You piece of shit!

Do what you want.

- You bloody... - Sakshi...

I'm sure she must be exhausted...

- with all the work she does. - Yes.

But, Kavita, you don't need to worry,

she won't need to work after marriage.

Our Manish is well-settled.

Excuse me. Tea...

A cat...

Go with her.

Shanti!

I am tired of seeing your black and blue face every morning.

Stop crying now.

You know, I was gonna be a doctor.

I would've ended up tending to you every day.

Be grateful that I became a lawyer.

I'll get you divorced.

And before that, I am going to file an FIR.

No, ma'am.

Hi, Mahesh.

Manish.

Hi, Manish.

Can I help?

Yeah, sure.

You can take this out.

Thank you.

One second.

But what about us getting married?

That's not happening.

Oh, my God!

What!

Kaloo is getting married!

Kaloo is getting married!

That flake ball...

Witch.

I want to hear every... like every detail.

I want it right now.

Tell me right now.

- Kaloo is getting married! - Mad girl.

Kaloo is getting married.

Oh, no!

How am I gonna break this news to Mom?

Sakshi, get on Skype.

Sakshi Soni, it's 4:00 p.m.! Are you still sleeping?

Congratulations!

Our friend is getting married!

How are you?

I've started packing.

Here, I'm packing John's meals for the next ten days.

Congratulations!

I just can't believe it.

How did she agree to this?

Seriously, man.

The chances of her getting married in this lifetime were so bleak.

I'm so happy!

I'm so happy for Kalindi.

No, you're not.

Is it that obvious?

Mom is acting like a druggie after I told her about Kaloo's wedding.

She is popping Calmpose tablets like they are M&Ms.

"I hope my poor daughter doesn't die single."

Be happy, at least you're single.

Think about me.

I'll be the only maligned divorcee at the wedding.

Hey!

Aunties have already started talking, by the way.

Why is she getting married so soon?

Rishab just proposed to her.

That idiot didn't even give me time to lose weight.

Nothing's gonna fit.

Looking quite healthy.

Pop a kid and then we'll talk.

Are you nuts? It's Sakshi Soni.

She'll get bored in no time and then you'll have to raise the kid.

No, thank you very much. One is more than enough.

Kaloo is landing today, right?

Are you guys going to the airport to pick her up?

Her "in-laws" are.

Shut up!

She said she was going to wrap up all the family stuff and then meet us.

Guys, just hold on. I'll be there in no time. We can all meet her together.

Oh, God! Bye.

AIR INDIA

- Where are they? - Look, they are here.

- Look, they are here. - Come on.

Shishu!

- Come on. - Shishu!

Hello!

- There he is. Come on. - Hello, welcome.

- Oh, my baby! - God bless you.

- How are you, Shishu? - Let's start the rituals.

Kalindi!

Priest, you go there. Don't stand at the back.

Welcome, my child.

Priest!

- Bless you. - That's enough.

Here you go.

Sarita...

- How are you, Kalindi? - She looks so good.

Come here, dear.

- No, thank you, Auntie. - It's okay.

It's our first meet.

- She's so beautiful. - Yes!

Good catch.

- Papa... - Why are you feeling shy?

No more calling her auntie...

Call her mummy now.

Ignore Auntie Santosh.

Call me whatever you feel like.

I don't force anyone.

This is right.

Your mother is just too much.

I'll go handle her.

- Come... - Enough, Sarita.

You don't have to perform all the rituals today.

You want her to return from the airport itself?

Come, dear, we'll drop you home.

No, my car is here.

Then we'll escort you to your car.

Come.

Here comes the bride!

- Uncle! - Welcome, Mrs. Malhotra!

- Welcome, my child. - Lovely to see you.

What's with this loud "West Delhi" jewelry?

- Mother-in-law. - At the airport?

Yes, can you believe it?

Fantastic.

Listen, what's your plan for the wedding?

Rishab was saying that they have a farmhouse.

And we can just have all the functions there.

So, I've already short-listed 15-20 card designs.

But we'll take you to Chawri Bazaar tomorrow anyway.

Oh, this is gonna be so much fun.

Not tomorrow. I'm meeting Dad.

At the club.

For lunch.

Do you guys speak often?

Yeah, I mean on birthdays, festivals, special occasions.

I saw him in court last month...

with that tacky CR Park slut.

- Cookie! - Sorry...

Lady of the night.

Kishan and I are so disappointed that you aren't staying with us.

You should've stayed with us this time.

Comfortable?

Next time, Paromita.

Let it be, dear.

She's obviously more comfortable at her uncle's place.

Okay, let me know, if there's anything I can do for the wedding.

And I also wanted you to know that...

we're there for you.

This is Mrs. Puri.

Yes.

Hi! How are you? It's been so long!

What a surprise! How are you doing?

So he's a corporate lawyer.

Lives in GK.

This one?

I'm meeting a prospective groom.

Not charging by the hour.

Show me something knee-length.

Lives in GK.

He likes reading, traveling, and music.

- I think Nirmal is completely... - Nirmal?

You're gonna have sex with someone called Nirmal?

Sakshi, I just can't talk to you.

Like Vineet is a very cool name!

No chance, 126 days, not a drag.

By the way, your market value has really dropped

after banging your boss.

That's disgusting, Sakshi. Language.

And I wasn't "banging" him.

We were in a relationship.

Avni, he was married.

With kids.

I didn't know that.

He's the one who was married. He's the one who had kids.

But I became the dirty legend of Tis Hazari!

Fucking double standards!

Why do I end up with all the freaks?

So you thought, this time I'll just let Mummy decide!?

So? What's wrong with that?

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be alone.

I want everything.

Marriage, kids, I want it.

I want it all.

Hello, hello, give it to me baby!

- Sakshi! Put it back! - You are a complete package.

Saint on the outside, slut on the inside.

That horny boss of yours must have loved you.

Nirmal?

Avni! Hi.

Nice to meet you.

So nice to meet you.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's...

But let's talk about you.

So you are a lawyer at Tis Hazari?

That's really good.

Please! Have you ever been to Tis Hazari?

Paan-stained corridors,

a pathetic canteen, and the bathrooms are quite a sight.

Yeah. Very dirty.

You corporate lawyers have it good.

AC offices, top shot clients, holidays in Spain.

How do you know that I went to Spain?

How do you know?

Actually...

Actually, I...

I checked you out on Facebook.

Sorry.

Excuse me.

- Yes, Mamma? - What're you doing?

You guys are talking?

Nirmal?

You're gonna have sex with someone called Nirmal?

No. Just having dinner. Tell me.

Don't forget to discuss the contract.

Better safe than sorry.

No, it's okay.

Okay, I'll be there.

Good night.

Mom.

You're pretty close to your mom, right?

Yeah. Very.

Me too.

Avni, can I ask you something?

Yeah, sure, go ahead.

See, I know this may sound a little unromantic, but...

What do you think about signing a contract before marriage?

A contract?

You mean like a prenup?

Please don't misunderstand.

Everything is so complicated these days that...

I mean, I just...

Frankly, it's important for both of us.

And Mom was also saying that...

Of course, not. I'm a lawyer.

I mean, in fact, I'm a divorce lawyer.

Who will understand this better than me?

I really like you.

I really do.

You are invited to bless the marriage of Rishab and Kalindi.

Nice.

Come.

Yes, Mother?

Auntie Kunkun called.

Were you having some sort of an affair in London?

I am gonna fuck that Auntie Kunkun up.

- I will... - Vineet's aunt was telling her that.

Mom, please stop listening to all the shit these aunties say.

- Goodbye. - Bye.

Bloody dog...

Who was it?

No one. Telemarketers.

Listen.

Had Vineet asked you to sign a contract before marriage...

would you have done it?

With what face?! That cheap rascal...

I am the one who should have asked for a contract.

- Has Meera landed? - Yes, just now.

Hey, bride-to-be, let's see that face!

Missed you.

Hi, baby.

Hello?

Kalindi?

It's me, Mamma.

Yes, Auntie!

Actually, Shishu is sleeping.

I needed that ring.

Ring?

What ring?

The one he proposed to you with.

He'll give that back at the engagement function.

Shishu is absolutely useless. He forgot to tell you.

One more thing, according to our customs, we'll present you with a veil.

Keep it carefully, you'll need to use it for the annual marital fast.

- Okay. - You might want to write all this down.

- You'll need rock salt. - Rock...

- Dear, we also believe in... - Okay, Auntie.

- There won't be a problem after marriage. - Yes, Auntie.

- We'll perform a ritual to welcome you. - Okay.

Also, we worship the Goddess... You'll also have to fast.

- I'll tell you more later. That's all. - Yes.

- Okay, Auntie. - Okay, dear.

- Okay. - Okay.

Help!

Come over as soon as possible!

Move, you're half blind.

Golgappe for everyone! And keep them coming.

- Only diet ones for her. - What the hell! No.

Then she says, I have so many ideas.

I suggest we do a theme. I suggest we serve a Bengali fish dish.

I suggest you go fuck yourself.

Sorry.

So is Paromita going to sit beside Uncle at the wedding ceremony?

What? No.

Actually, fuck it. Let her. I just don't care anymore.

Uncle Cookie is gonna shoot her.

- Give me that. - I'm tired of making all these decisions.

Check out some of Avni's potential husbands.

Driver.

Orphan. Rapist.

- Stop! - Look! Below the poverty line!

Arranged marriage?

I mean, Avni, seriously!

Despite of being with Rishab for three years, I'm shit scared.

Thank you. Knock some sense into her.

You had a love marriage. Had fun?

It didn't even last a year.

Guys, I love him.

Remember?

"Papa, I wanna have a destination wedding, okay?"

Somehow you guys always end up riding my ass?

Because it's you. Can't help it!

Anyway, I am almost thirty.

You get introduced through friends or parents, it's the same thing.

Please, Avni, stop quoting your mother.

Let me be! Just let me be, Auntie.

Yes, Auntie?

I just wanted to discuss the timing for the meet and greet function tomorrow.

Our priest suggested that you should come between 8:30-9:00 a.m.

Okay? I don't like to force you.

But our priest suggested, since you'll be coming home for the first time,

it should be at an auspicious hour. Okay?

No, everything will be very casual. There is no formality.

It's just our families meeting.

So just wear something white or red.

Put them here carefully.

This stuff is going to the groom's house.

- What happened? - Avni!

- Arjun! - How are you?

Hi, I'm good.

Congratulations.

Problem.

Your child?

It's not mine. That's Meera's son.

Oh.

How is Auntie?

Just as she was.

Crazy.

I'm glad you changed your mind.

About?

Kids.

Yeah.

That...

He's very cute.

Dear, let's go.

I gotta go. So...

- See you. - Okay. Bye.

So you and Vineet...

Are you sure?

Can I say I don't know?

Just don't say anything to Avni, please.

Can't...

So after this epic disaster of yours, any marriage advice for me?

Yes.

Run, fucker!

Doors are closed, walls are thick to boost

- Why do you hesitate, just drop the bass? - Don't you know how to drive?

Bharat Matrimony has sent the profiles of three more boys.

I really liked one of them.

He's very nice. He's tall, fair.

Has a good job. Just missing a few strands of hair on his head.

There's so much to say Lazy nights are wasting away

Make these nights lively Drop the bass, anyway

-I'd say no otherwise -I'd say no otherwise

I'd say no otherwise

Today my inhibitions have gone for a ride

I won't give in without a fight

Drop the bass, mate

All right, ladies.

We are officially in the west side of Delhi now.

I should've worn a traditional dress.

Drop the bass, mate

You should've brought Uncle Keshav with you.

Malhotras should meet our family one fruit basket at a time.

Hey, I don't mind!

My look!

Her father will never stop being stingy.

He brings one bottle with him and that too some local shit.

- Hi, Uncle. Hi, Auntie. - Hi, dear.

- Hi, Uncle. Hello, ma'am. - Hi.

Kishan.

Hello, Cookie.

Shall we?

Did you take out the booze from the car?

- Hello, Uncle. - After you.

Come. Come.

Auntie!

She is your mother-in-law's husband's sister's granddaughter.

Kalindi, why don't you give us a Shishu Junior soon?

Right, Sarita?

Auntie?

Are you alright?

You know, I always wanted a daughter.

So when Shishu was young, I loved dressing him up.

Adorning him with hair clips...

I'm glad you've come into our lives.

Hi.

I was in fact going to suggest the community hall.

Community hall?

Oh, God! Take me.

What will people think?!

A farmhouse has a charm of its own.

We were actually hoping for a destination wedding.

Destination wedding?

Can I make it hard?

- What? - The drink.

No, thank you.

Are you from Khalsa College?

Not at all.

KMC?

Actually, Simbi.

Oh... Pune!

I've done my fair share of dirty dancing there!

I haven't been for a while.

That's too bad.

I'm sure the girls of Pune must be in despair.

Excuse me, please.

Beautiful.

And our guest list is pretty big.

Tell me, how are 1000 people...

- A thousand? - supposed to fit in a community hall?

- Right. - You don't understand.

I'll tell you...

A thousand guests?

Can you see this colorful circus she is marrying into?

As if yours was an intimate private affair!?

Make it stronger.

Papa?

Thousand guests?

We had decided not to have more than 200 guests.

We've emptied many a bottle at other people's weddings.

Now when it's our turn to host, should we just show them the finger!?

What shit he talks!

Uncle, we wanted to keep it simple.

Kalindi, I've been dreaming about his wedding since he was a baby.

Besides, you guys don't even live here.

Mom, what's the need for all this fuss?

Honestly, we'll be happy to get married in a temple.

Have you been smoking weed?

"Get married in a temple."

You tell me.

This is the first wedding in the family.

Don't we need to maintain relations,

face society?

Brother, I don't see your wife anywhere.

No, I'm happily unmarried.

Oh! Best decision you've made.

What did I ask you?

I'm really sorry, Kaloo.

You know what, I'm just gonna go down and ask them to fuck off.

Wait.

Relax.

Don't pick a fight.

Your mom is so excited.

She'll be hurt.

What other choice do we have?

I know.

It's just a matter of a few days.

We'll manage.

I love you, Kaloo.

You are...

Sarita.

There they are!

- Auntie Santosh. - Yes.

- Hello. - And Mom!

How did you like your room?

Nice, right?

Forget all this and come with me.

I want to show you something.

Hurry up.

Come with me.

- What... - Where do you think you're going?

Stay here.

I should stay here. Alright.

See? How pretty it is!

You're going to look like a fairy princess in it.

And Kalindi, you can easily wear it in Australia as well.

Rishab!

- Rishab! - Go home, I'll join you.

When I got married, I weighed only 42 kilos.

I wore Western clothes, just like you do.

Kalindi, did you see... Oh!

Brother?

Tell me what you feel about this for the sangeet function.

For you?

For her.

Fantastic! Let's make her try it on.

Elders advice

Dressing up is a vice

Be careful, for you'll set fire

If you dress up to aspire Everyone's gonna admire

I'll put on a bright lipstick

Walk in a short skirt, I admit

Dance in the club, like I give a shit

If you dress up to aspire Everyone's gonna admire

Dress up all you want today

Dance as much as you want today

I'm crazy about you For you, I'd even keep God at bay

Lose your inhibitions

Lose your inhibitions Let go of the traditions

Lose your inhibitions Let go of the traditions

Lose your inhibitions Let go of the traditions

Meera, I'm taking Kabir to the park.

Will be back in half an hour.

Okay, Auntie.

Absolutely. Please.

- Okay. - Kabir, don't trouble Grandma, okay?

Okay, Mom.

- What? - Grandma! Moron, "grandma"?

You're gonna leave and then Grandma's gonna make my life miserable.

Let the world taunt, we don't care a damn

Lose your inhibitions Let go of the traditions

We will do what our hearts say we can

Lose your inhibitions Let go of the traditions

Dress up all you want today

Dance as much as you want today

I'm crazy about you For you, I'd even keep God at bay

Lose your inhibitions Let go of the traditions

Lose your inhibitions Let go of the traditions

Lose your inhibitions Let go of the traditions

Lose your inhibitions Let go of the traditions

Lose your inhibitions Let go of the traditions

Lose your inhibitions

Have designers in Delhi lost their minds?

Everyone in Delhi has lost their mind.

Seriously.

If you want to afford lehengas, sell off your kidneys.

Bade Papa!

- Bade Papa? - Leave.

Do not come to us, when your husband leaves you.

Go, say something.

Go, Meera.

Yes, I am fine.

I guess I just didn't expect to see him.

No, John, you don't have to come.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Enough, bro!

How much are you planning on drinking?

You only have one liver.

- Here. - Bye, I love you.

Bye.

Why haven't you told Bade Papa about Kabir yet?

Why should I?

He hasn't accepted my husband yet.

Not accepting John is still fine.

But honestly,

if he says anything against Kabir, I mean, even just...

Are you happy?

Darling, who wouldn't be happy with John's John?

- Well done. - Sick!

Thank the stars that John...

doesn't understand half the shit you say.

He is learning Hindi these days.

He's been at it with those English-to-Hindi dictionaries.

Oh, by the way, guess what an orgasm is called in Hindi, ladies.

"Pleasure peak."

Pleasure... what?

Peak, baby. Peak.

- Shall we? - Let's go find "pleasure peak".

Let's go to Kaloo's house.

Meera, quit messing around.

Why, aren't you Ms. Fitness?

- You're the voluptuous one. - Avni!

Guys, you know this is illegal, right?

Shit!

Shanti Niwas now looks more like...

a haunted house.

Look at this place.

Your dad and Uncle Cookie should've just sold it off to some builder.

Just be done with it.

Wow!

Bro...

Uncle Cookie has hit the jackpot.

I can't believe he has all of this.

He has everything.

Wow, look at this dress, guys!

Kaloo, is this dress still here?

Kaloo...

So, what happened exactly? I mean...

I know that after Auntie passed away Uncle married Paromita...

like immediately.

I ran off to Australia.

After that, Dad and Uncle Cookie started fighting.

Yelling and shouting every day.

She can sell whatever she wants.

No, she cannot.

- She will! - She can't!

One day, Dad and Paromita went out of town.

And then Uncle Cookie...

Wow, he pulled a big one.

They've been fighting in court ever since.

You guys know me, I have no interest in getting married.

Then why are you?

For Rishab. Obviously.

But you know what?

Sometimes, I feel like I made a mistake.

Kalindi, you love this guy, right?

Obviously, I love him.

But these new relationships...

and how to deal with them, what to say to whom, and how.

It's so exhausting.

Just wait, this is only the beginning.

Vineet's jerk of a mother used to land up every two months.

"Sakshi, when will you have kids?"

Let's not forget Dad and Uncle's cold war.

I wish Mom were here.

How am I gonna do this without her?

Oh, Kaloo!

We're here for you.

Save me when I end up killing everyone.

Kaloo, I am a matrimonial lawyer.

I am fed up with explaining this to you guys.

Guys, I have some good news.

Don't overact.

But I've decided to shortlist Nirmal.

Oh!

Because of Arjun?

That was ten years ago, okay?

Arjun is history.

So the fact that you met him last week...

with his wife and child, has nothing to do with this obviously?

Not at all.

Listen.

When are you going to introduce us to your Nirmu?

Nirmu, Nirmu!

- Fuck me, Nirmu! - Amazing!

- Please fuck me, Nirmu! - Nirmu!

Back off!

Goyal, I am gonna fuck you up. Understood?

Just release my shipment, okay?

Hail the Goddess!

Look at that one.

Just look at him!

Why don't I just get married right now? The priest is also here.

Why this granny bun?

Couldn't you let them loose?

Waiter, where's the bar?

Come on, don't say that!

That's a brand-new waistcoat.

Bhandari.

Looking for alcohol?

Can the bride's parents come forward, please?

Please proceed.

The bride's parents.

Mom, milk.

God only knows when you'll give me grandkids.

I don't have to marry for that.

If you carry on like this, we'll have to freeze your eggs.

Mom!

No, we're pretty close to it. We're like ten minutes away from the beach.

How lovely!

Kishan, I can't believe you went all the way to Australia

and didn't see a single beach.

You came to Australia?

Yes, I had some urgent work.

Morning in, evening out.

Did you try the sweets, Uncle?

Sarita...

They're right here!

Your mom and dad have left?

Did they eat lunch...

Auntie Santosh, I have repeatedly told you that...

she's not Kalindi's mother. Stop calling her that.

Then what do I call her?

- It was this! This is my step. - It wasn't!

- This is it! - You do this one.

And then like this. Pelvic thrust! Pelvic thrust!

This one is mine.

He is here now.

- What happened? - Let's go.

Look, they are going again.

These guys are too much.

Nirmal.

To show Australia.

- Hey. - Hi.

Who is he?

Now who is he?

He is here. Go.

- Hi. - Hi.

Come.

- Those are my friends. - Sir, need money to pay the florist.

Come.

- Take this. - Thank you, sir.

- Can I get something for you? - No, that's okay.

Come on. What's that behind you?

Auntie, you see this grass? Brand new from Japan.

Not bad.

- Yeah, not bad. - Your "Nirmu" is quite hot.

I say, jump him.

Are you mad?

- Not before anything's fixed. - What?!

I won't even buy a car without a test drive first.

She has packed her "goodies" airtight,

no one can even get a whiff of it.

While they have generously been distributed...

around her office just last month.

My mesmerizing eyes shine bright

Many go wayward when I come in sight

When I groove, they make their move

My hot body on fire is what they desire

Wow, chubby, I didn't think you'd be able to pull off these moves.

I thought you couldn't dance to save your life.

Thank you.

Come on, Ms. Alcoholic. Less drinking,

more dancing.

He also choreographed Saifeena's wedding.

My mesmerizing eyes shine bright

Many go wayward when I come in sight

When I groove, they make their move

My hot body on fire is what they desire

Don't be lazy, go for a quickie

- I have hots for you! - Yes, Mamma?

Hey, the one with naughty intentions

Come on, let me...

Move!

Kiss you

Kiss you

Kiss you

Come on, let me...

Kiss you

Kiss you

Kiss you

Sarita, we're bringing home an angel.

I swear.

Kabir, look! There's Papa!

- Hey, you guys. - Hi!

Hey, Kabir.

- I really missed you. - Hi, Papa.

Alright. Okay.

Tag, you're it.

Sakshi gives the garland to Vineet.

Shut it off.

This is so depressing.

Sweetheart.

We blew up 35 million on her wedding.

Let's watch what we paid for.

Let's watch it since we're home. We'll be entertained.

Fuck.

I'm Mrs. Malhotra.

Kaloo! Hurry up. We are getting late.

Coming!

Someone please take care of her dress.

Fuck!

- Welcome, my dear. Welcome. - Yes. Welcome.

- I don't see your parents. - Welcome.

- Oh, your uncle is here. - Welcome...

Come... Go ahead.

That'll do.

- Come, dear. - Please come.

- Come along. - Keep going.

- Yes, we're coming. Please go ahead. - But she...

But she'll be all alone.

Ladies and gentlemen, please proceed to the stage...

to meet and greet Kalindi and Rishab and give them your blessings.

Oh, my baby!

Not on the stage, Auntie!

Auntie!

Cameraman, photo!

Take it from the center.

Right. From the center. Good.

Hey, Uncle Moonga is here.

- Mr. Moonga! - Come, Rishab.

Don't worry, he'll come.

- What a beautiful bride! - Baby, I'll be right back.

Her father will be here soon.

Papa's still not here.

Probably on his way. I'll go and check.

Where are the idiots I call my friends?

Nothing but strings today?

Upping your game, right?

Guys, I'm thinking I'll at least kiss him tonight.

Just jump him!

- Yeah? - Just do it.

There he is.

Go, show him your true colors.

Nirmal...

- Hi. - Wow!

You look like...

- Wow. - Thank you.

Rishab... Where is Rishab?

Have you seen Rishab anywhere?

He must be around somewhere.

I'll go find him.

Hey, hello.

What are you looking at? Delete that.

Get me some more.

Tonight...

- It's on. - And you?

- Double on. - Amazing.

What can I do?

- Nirmu, Nirmu! - Nirmu!

Nirmal, I...

- Nirmal... - Avni,

I'm looking for a wife, not a hookup.

- But... - I'm sorry I wasted your time.

But what have I done?

Please go inside, you're embarrassing yourself.

Because I tried to kiss you?

You...

You...

You wuss!

Who do you think you are? You're just a glorified clerk!

You think you can reject me?

I reject you and your contract.

Don't create a scene, everyone's watching.

Do you know what's the problem with guys like you?

You think you want "a modern, independent wife."

But the truth is, you just want a maid in the background who nods along.

Mister, you cannot handle a woman like me.

- Listen... - And what kind of a name is Nirmal?

- Why are you getting... - Let me guess.

Your mother must have named you.

You know what it's bloody stupid.

Go back to your mom.

Actually, go and marry your mother.

Crazy witch!

Bloody mother lover!

Get in.

So you kissed him and he bounced?

For God's sake, keep your crappy advice to yourself.

I should've never listened to you guys.

You mean he actually said no?

So basically, he's gay.

Yes.

I made a complete fool of myself.

Fuck!

Give me a drag.

You sure, 126 days?

Smoking is injurious to your health and your disposition.

Did you notice? She's here today as well.

I mean she is getting a divorce.

It's no small matter.

The girl has no shame at all.

She drinks straight up.

Really? I've heard she's into drugs as well.

Shameless.

Poor parents.

Her father used to be a proud lion.

Have you seen him lately? Like a pussy cat.

Obviously.

Spent so much on that wedding. So many functions!

It didn't even last six months.

They can't show their face to anyone.

The mother has stopped stepping out of the house.

She doesn't even come to the country club.

The daughter on the other hand... refuses to leave the nightclub.

Vineet's aunt was saying that she was having an affair.

- Really? - Really?

What a mess!

Forget it. Who cares?!

- Right. - Why bother?

Let's go.

Now let's proceed towards the stage...

for a dance performance by Rishab, Kalindi, and friends.

There was a girl, a little crazy.

She had secretly fallen in love.

All my admirers offer to drop me home

Lost in love, they whisper Sweet nothings at gloam

Some are dating and some are waiting Some are stalking and some are talking

Some just want some lip-locking

Don't be lazy, go for a quickie

I have hots for you!

Hey, the one with naughty intentions

Come on, let me...

Kiss you

Kiss you

Kiss you

Come let me...

Kiss you

Kiss you

Kiss you

Oh, yeah! Amazing!

- Why did we stop? - Get off!

Kiss you

You're hammered.

No, you're hammered.

How does one get out of here?

Going for a smoke?

No, I was going to the bathroom, but why not?

Okay.

- You're looking hot tonight. - Hey, one large whiskey.

What kind of a person are you?

I don't have time for your nonsense.

It seems you don't even have time to call your daughter.

You didn't have time to meet her in Australia.

And now you don't have fucking time to attend her wedding?

Why does she need me?

Her father is already here.

Fucker!

Guys, tonight we drink like dogs.

Ready?

Come on!

One!

Two!

Three, go!

After that scintillating performance,

it is time for the ring ceremony.

"The moon coyly hides behind the clouds, my love."

Said Rishab to Kalindi when he saw her.

She is so beautiful.

Yes, she is, Grandma. This is just like a fairy tale.

- Let him go! Stop it! Let him go! - Let go!

- You scoundrel! - Sir...

On my finger is a ring and in the ring is a diamond.

Applause.

- It's different. - It's different, isn't it?

This moon, the golden tree... a very different decoration.

In fact, different theme only.

It's bigger.

Show me.

How did this get bigger?

Nothing.

Must be a mix-up. Don't worry about it

Have you lost your mind after coming to Delhi or are you just blind?

We'll get our ring back.

Don't worry.

It's not about the ring, Rishab. It's about everything.

Are we getting married for ourselves, or for these people?

This is a non-stop circus.

What the fuck is happening, man?

Bloody henpecked husband!

- Stop them. - Please, stop!

At least I don't go around hiding my relationship.

You're a coward.

Bloody coward.

There's a limit to showing off!

Why does everything have to be so over-the-top?

Big ring, big necklace, big function!

Tomorrow if we have kids, is this what we're gonna teach them?

I don't know what's wrong with you. I think you've lost your mind.

Your family has lost their mind.

At least I have one.

I'm really sorry!

I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to say that.

I swear...

Oh, no! What happened?

Rishab?

- Go and see if he's hurt. - Shishu?

- Call the ambulance. - What happened?

- Are you hurt? - Shishu?

Rishab?

Shishu?

- Are you fine? - Are you fine?

Rishab?

- Shishu? - Rishab?

Shishu?

She is making a lot of mistakes.

- Shishu? - Brother?

Rishab?

- Dear! - Rishab, are you alright?

- Are you fine? - Yes.

Where's Kalindi?

People will say, had I been there I would have

reasoned it out with her, scolded her.

But it's her life and she has to live it.

She has to make her own decisions. Right or wrong.

Had I been there, this is what I'd say.

He is imitating me.

Oh, God! Do you guys think he'll remember this?

Of course.

His mother is throwing up like she's possessed.

Poor thing must be in trauma.

This is gonna take years of therapy.

Meera, relax, he's two years old.

Shut up.

Yes, Rishab?

Where is Kaloo?

Kalindi?

She must be in her room.

Her phone is switched off.

- Yesterday, after the accident... - What?

What accident?

Never mind.

- Please check her room. I'm coming over. - What?

What accident? One second.

No! My, God!

You up?

Good morning, beautiful.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Hello, inspector.

I want to file a missing person's report.

This is Kshitij Puri.

Since last night.

I'll hold. Yes, I'll hold.

God! Poor child. I wonder where she is.

What the fu... Hell!

There were like 1000 people there.

Someone must have seen her while stuffing their faces with pasta.

Maybe we should start calling up the public and making inquiries.

Smile, please.

Oh, my God!

I think we burnt a lot of calories last night.

Pass me the earrings.

I didn't want to kill my own game so I didn't say anything.

What happened to your nincompoop?

Nirmu?

I mean Nirmal?

- He had to leave. - How sweet of him!

Any chance, there's time for another round?

Consider it morning cardio.

Auntie Santosh?

- Is she your... - Mom.

God!

Hey, at least give me your number!

Should we check the hospitals?

God!

Poor child. Wonder where she is!

Her rash should've been my first clue.

This is all my fault, guys. I'm really sorry.

Rishab, this is not your fault.

Keshav, I was fighting on behalf of Kalindi.

Excuse me.

- Good morning. - Listen...

Did you see Kalindi after the ring ceremony?

I...

I didn't make it to the ring ceremony.

Sorry.

Great.

They won't file a missing person's report

before 24 hours.

Excuse me.

Well, well, well.

May we ask where ma'am is coming from?

I don't wanna talk about it.

Nirmu?

Can't be him.

Bhandari.

I don't even know his first name.

What's wrong with me?

By the way, you know who his mother is, right?

So, we'll get you married on the moon as well.

In a gown.

- Just like a fairy princess. - You are...

I mean the bride has run away.

- Why don't you get married instead? - Won't that be great?

Such a good friend you are.

Bro...

I know where Kalindi is.

Uncle Cookie!

- Are you okay? - Okay?

Dad taught me how to ride a bike there.

On that road.

We didn't have much traffic back then.

And under that tree, in winter, Mom used to set up

a full-on breakfast table.

Although, I think Dad and Uncle Cookie used it more like a bar.

Sometimes, I feel that Dad and I were connected only through Mom.

Mom's gone.

The relationship's gone.

Baby.

I'm really sorry for saying those things to you.

I didn't mean to.

I know.

But you were right.

I don't have a family.

Don't say that, Kaloo.

No, it's true.

Maybe that's why I don't believe in all this.

But you know what...

I tried really hard.

- I swear. - I know.

Did I ever force you to do any of this?

But family, relationships, relatives...

are so important to your family.

And to you.

I don't think I can fulfill these expectations.

Please don't hate me.

We came this close, right?

They're coming, together.

Oh, God! That's a relief.

Thank God!

They look so good together.

Where's Rishab off to?

It's over.

- What do you mean "over"? - What?

What happened?

Everything was going so well.

I can't do this...

What do you mean?

He's such a nice guy.

You guys have been together for so long.

Kalindi.

Don't tell me you're breaking up with him because of his family.

You know sometimes, I can't understand you.

What're you thinking, man?

Why are you doing this?

Because not everyone is as desperate as you to get married.

Why are you lashing out at her?

This is all your fault.

My fault?

Just look at yourself, Sakshi.

Have you ever used your head to make any decisions in life?

- No, I haven't. - Kaloo?

At least I don't run away from stuff like you do.

- Grow some fucking balls, Kalindi. - Hey...

No need to over-analyze everything in life, Kalindi.

Really? You're saying that to me?

Listen, guys. Enough with this stupid fight.

Let's go home, have a couple of drinks, and talk about this.

Why? Didn't you have enough last night?

Excuse me?

- Anyway, thanks, guys. - Her as well.

For being the most supportive friends in the world.

Because last night, you didn't leave my side for a second.

Oh, boo-hoo, Kalindi.

Stop thinking about yourself for two minutes.

Some of us have real problems.

Real problems?

Engagement cost of 20 million and a wedding cost of 50 million!

That's not a fucking real problem, Sakshi!

- That's it! I am going to slap her! - Kaloo... Just calm down.

Kalindi, drop this damsel-in-distress act.

You're not the first or the last girl in the world to get married.

Yeah, I know.

But I'm definitely the first to do it without my fucking friends.

- Come on, Kaloo, please! - Go! Run back to Australia.

- What else can we expect from you? - Guys...

- Just shut up guys, please. - Go fuck yourself.

I've had enough of her nonsense.

Fuck!

Bullshit!

Stupid.

God! We're done for.

Shishu, at least tell us what happened.

I told you.

I don't want to marry.

Great.

After spending millions, he says...

he doesn't want to get married.

You stay out of it.

Come on, tell me.

Did you have a fight with Kalindi?

What? A fight? Who doesn't fight in a marriage?

Son, fights are the foundation marriages are built on.

Try to understand, son.

The invitations have been offered to the Gods.

- Oh, God... - Sorry, son.

Yeah?

Sir, a police officer is here to meet you.

- Tell him to wait. - Okay, sir.

What do you mean you don't want to marry?

Your entire gang is completely insane.

One eloped to get married.

The other is getting divorced.

And the third one called off a perfect wedding.

I'm sure they are the ones who influenced you against Nirmal.

Can you please stop trash-talking about my friends?

You're always poking your nose into my life.

At least stay out of theirs.

I mean, Nirmal is such a nice boy.

Well-educated, smart...

But his CV fails to mention that he's a jackass.

God, Mom.

Language.

Here we are, so broken and battered

In broad daylight, just sitting around

We fell flat on our faces

We thought we knew everything

We are paying for the misunderstanding

Have you seen Sakshi's message?

On the group.

Oh, my God!

As they say, when fate fucks you...

it's usually from behind.

And these past few days, we've been getting humped and how.

At least we were together.

So what if the wedding was called off?

We can still enjoy the honeymoon.

What the fuck!

Before we get back to our shitty lives again,

I want to spend a few days with my bros.

And so...

Sawadee ka, witches!

Because we're going to Phuket!

Is she mad?

Obviously.

It's Sakshi Soni.

She can't find peace without blowing up Daddy's money.

Remember the whole baking phase?

"Papa, I want to go to Paris."

Like Delhi just doesn't cut it.

Brothers, we'll walk a new path together

Brothers, we'll make a new life together

Brothers, we'll walk a new path together

Brothers, we'll make a new life together

The person you are trying to reach is currently unavailable.

Are you coming out or should I come in?

Coming!

Come on.

- Are you crazy?! - You're hot, man!

- Oh, my God! - So sexy!

Take it off! Everyone's naked in Thailand.

Everyone's life is messy

So live your dreams don't be fussy

It's time to seize the moment, buddy

Our friendship's deep as it can be, bro

I guess we came even Compete with the sea

I'll always feel assured When you are with me

Intentions as weird as they can be

As wild as you and me

Now don't be a crybaby

As long as you have your Friends to give you company

Brothers, we'll walk a new path together

Brothers, we'll make a new life together

But I love him.

Carefully.

Kaloo, shall I eat your noodles? I just will.

You want boom-boom?

I know! I know you want boom-boom?

Yeah, yeah, she wants.

Come back.

It's written all over your face.

I heard someone went all boom-boom at the dance function.

What? You slept with him?

And that too at Auntie Santosh's house?

You were right, Kalindi. I have become so desperate.

And for what? To become someone's wife?

I mean no matter how much you study, graduate, post graduate.

Even if you buy your own house, car...

But you've achieved nothing until you become someone's goddamn wife.

Twenty-first century, my foot.

Avni, language.

I mean you've come of age, get married.

You're married, then have a kid.

Oh, you've got one, have another.

What is this pressure, man?

How are people doing this?

I've lost my mind.

I can't believe I slept with that shady Bhandari!

You know he's a shopkeeper, dude?

I'm pretty sure he hasn't even graduated from high school.

Okay, so now one needs a degree to bang you?

So sick, man. You know what I mean.

Okay, fine. But as it turns out, the boy is rather generous.

How?

Apparently, madam took a trip to "pleasure peak" that night.

- Multiple trips, dude. - That's great.

- Oh, multiple... - Multiple?!

That's lovely, bro.

Brothers, we'll walk a new path together

Brothers, we'll make a new life together

Sakshi Soni.

By sponsoring Air India business class trips,

do you realize you're spoiling us?

Nice flight, right?

Always on time.

What happened, why it happened, forget it

Just forget it

All these things are pointless Meaningless

With open arms, you should Welcome happiness

This is what life is

A little bitter, a little sweet Regardless

Bhandu.

- Bhandu. - Bhandu.

- Shag me now, Bhandu! - Shag me now, Bhandu!

Sakshi Soni, I will kill you.

You should be happy, idiot.

At least you're getting some.

"Pleasure peak" is the damn reason I'm getting divorced.

Okay, guys.

I was wrong. You were right.

I shouldn't have rushed into marriage.

Vineet was quite shady.

We barely knew each other.

And by the time we did...

we realized we didn't like each other very much.

So basically,

epic fights.

Instead of sitting on your ass the whole day,

why don't you get a fucking job, Sakshi?

I haven't got a fucking job because I'm too busy cooking for you every day!

Just a second.

Neha, I'll call you.

Sakshi! Sakshi, how dare you?

Sakshi, open the door!

- Thanks. - Not bad.

- Vineet, you coming? - Yeah.

- Sakshi. - Here.

My work friends are here.

Can you look a little presentable?

You're looking worse than a maid.

Obviously, it affected our sex life.

I mean... zero.

- So basically, he cheated on you? - No!

One day after an epic fight...

like below-the-belt fight,

I told him I was going back to India.

- So, he came home early from work. - Sakshi...

You cheated on him.

Not technically.

You're home early today?!

What?

You mean...

helped yourself?

So basically, after the fight, you were bored.

There was nothing better to do.

So you decided to jerk off.

It had been three months, dude!

And honestly, I think the fight

turned me on a little.

- Do your parents know? - Are you nuts?

How can I share "this"?

Delhi aunties are already hounding me.

If this is out, I'll be declared a porn star.

Hello, have you ever been to a family court?

It gets very ugly.

That's why I think I should give in to that jerk's demands

and put an end to this nuisance.

Is he blackmailing you?

I guess, kind of.

How much?

Five?

Hundred thousand?

Million!

Your bill.

You want money?

Let's split it.

Give it to me.

- You pay, Kalindi. - You pauper.

Sakshi Soni, listen to me now, cause last time you did not.

If you give even a single penny to that fucker Vineet,

I'll be your worst enemy.

Sign the divorce papers.

Settlement...

I'll settle him.

Nobody calls my best friend a maid.

Jackass.

Vineet turned out to be worse than expected.

Not everyone is as lucky as you, Mother Dairy.

I haven't had sex in a year.

- What? - Drought. Famine.

But what about John's John...

Lies.

Obviously, I love my son.

He's the apple of my eye, my heart, my soul...

But that moron came out this big.

And he was stuck in there for like 12 hours.

Like really stuck in there.

You know then they had to take that suction pump...

- and then... - Meera, please!

Please!

I want to have children someday.

Then you should know this.

No, I don't want to know this.

On top of that, I look like a cow.

My poor John.

Baby, you are still sexy.

Thank you.

Come on.

Means what?

Stop body shaming.

- No, you... I mean, eat. Some more crab? - Have a shell!

- Sakshi... - Eat away.

Have a shell. Not sex.

Brothers, we'll walk a new path together

Come on, Kaloo.

Brothers, we'll make a new life together

Brothers, we'll walk a new path together

Brothers, we'll make a new life together

I can't help it. But I miss him.

Brothers! Brothers...

Hey, you're back.

Welcome back, honey!

How was the holiday?

Can I talk to you guys for a minute?

- Hey, where is everybody? - Hi!

Hey, Kalindi! Yeah, the boy's gonna be out till late tonight.

- Hey, babe. - Hello!

Hold me.

Hello!

Hello!

I was furious so I got a little drunk...

At home, all alone. I was using a vibrator and...

Mom...

I've always done whatever you've asked of me.

But this arranged marriage stuff...

I just can't do it.

I really tried.

But I am what I am.

I don't think I can change.

I am what I am as well.

I'll keep nagging you.

Oh, my God.

Oh, I love you, old woman!

Who the hell are you calling old?

Today, I'll not leave you.

Sawadee ka.

You're truly my daughter.

Had you told me sooner, I would've sorted him out.

Good morning, Uncle Cookie.

The runaway bride has returned.

So?

Have you spoken to Rishab?

No.

- Why? - So you don't know?

What?

Your father-in-law is making headlines.

We got off easy.

Bank fraud of 20 million.

What do you mean?

It means he's behind bars, doing time.

Rishab!

Tell me something, Uncle.

Why were Mom and Dad together?

Because of me, right?

Of course, not.

They loved each other.

And I can't think of a better reason.

Look, whatever they were, however they were,

they loved you a lot.

I guess marriage just isn't in my DNA.

Hey!

Why do you think that?

You are neither crazy like your mom nor stubborn like your dad.

Love and fights always go hand-in-hand.

I mean look at Keshav and me.

Darling...

Please don't base your life's decisions

based on their stupid mistakes. Got it?

Rishab!

Are you okay?

Now I am.

Come.

You must have some contacts, dude!

Hi, Kaloo.

Shit.

What?

Can you at least sneak in some booze?

Someone has cast an evil eye upon us.

What have we ever done to anyone?

That's what I fail to understand.

Only a couple of bounced checks... of the bank!

Oh, God! Why are you doing this to us?

Because God never asked you to hire Russian dancers.

I told you, his bail has been issued.

I don't understand what will you get by keeping an old man behind bars.

How can we let him go, madam?

We have to follow the law.

Don't try to teach me the law.

This is a copy of it.

You will soon get the original.

You are harassing the family for no reason.

Well done, Tiger! You totally devoured them!

You are a force to reckon with.

- So, I... - I was wondering...

Go ahead.

I was trying to say that whatever...

- Happened that night... - Yes...

Whatever happened that night...

It wasn't me.

It was just me dealing with some issues.

Well, I didn't mind at all.

And you also looked quite pleased.

Oh, well, you forgot something at my place.

- I thought I should keep it but then... - Bhandari!

Listen.

Listen!

I have a "case" pending for quite a few days.

Help me, please?

I help people get divorced.

Are you married?

Just waiting for you to say yes.

Wait.

Let me drop you home.

I've booked an Uber.

A loan of 20 million!

A loan of 20 million!

Earlier, I thought, only my mother was crazy.

But my father...

Food from Italy.

He fucking wants to feed people Italian food!

Even if he has to eat the prison food.

You know, you were absolutely right.

Everything was just perfect.

I fucked up everything by proposing to you.

I really wish we could go back.

Me too.

When are you going back?

Day after tomorrow.

When will you come?

I don't think I'll be coming back to Australia.

Honestly, I don't know how long it'll take me to sort all this out.

- Two years, five years. - You were lost...

And so was I

Luckily, the house lease...

Why don't you stay?

Get pest control done after you go back...

You were lost And so was I

Now that we have come together Why don't you stay?

A few promises fulfilled A few promises left to keep

What can I say?

A few dreams shall be fulfilled And a few forever unfulfilled

What can I say?

Please come back

Please come back

Please come back

You don't need to think so hard

Please come back

Please come back

Please come back

You don't need to think so hard

Let's dwell in each other's hearts Even if only for a while

Let's just live and not bother About the trials

Let's recourse the wandered

Promise to the right path

Let's rekindle hope

Kalindi, your ticket...

Where's Kalindi?

She's gone to the house one last time before she leaves.

Please come back

Please come back

What a disastrous non-wedding it was!

The groom's selling his house. The bride's leaving her house, so pathetic!

There will be many evenings Which will come to a standstill

There will be many conversations Without any frills

We'll act stubborn over a small issue

It'll be a long night I understand

We'll still manage to love each other In the end

Poor Kaloo.

She's going back in such bad shape.

All alone!

Does her dad even know what happened?

Only if he could spare time from philandering.

I feel so helpless.

I really miss Auntie Ritu.

Seriously, man.

She had balls.

None of this would happen if she were here.

All the uncles, Malhotras...

She would have taught them all a lesson!

You were right there

Yet you were unavailable and I was missing

Now that we've come together Why don't you stay?

- Where are you going? - To teach them a lesson.

Uncle!

No, no, no!

I'll readily dance at the signal with the lepers, naked.

But I will never talk to that scoundrel.

Never!

See!

The smaller the brain, the bigger the ego!

It's been four years.

The only people benefiting are the lawyers.

And who is suffering?

Kalindi.

Uncle!

Are you listening to me?

How can you be so selfish?

After Auntie passed away, instead of supporting her,

all of you have started throwing tantrums.

I have always made Kaloo...

And that day, during the function.

You guys crossed all limits.

In front of so many people, you started fighting like loafers!

Come on, Uncle!

End this now.

Seriously, Cookie.

Don't you understand what Kalindi is going through?

For a change, instead of yourself think about her.

Kalindi is going back tonight.

Do you want her to never come back?

Hello? Hi, Uncle Krishna, Sakshi here.

Do you have a minute?

Good.

Because Uncle Cookie wants to talk to you.

One second.

Come on, Uncle.

Uncle!

Come on.

Yes, Krishna.

You know, I never understood...

why did you have to vacate the house after our fight?

Honestly speaking,

I wasn't angry at Paromita.

I was angry because I felt that...

because of her...

Kalindi left us.

And you two left me.

Cookie, I've supported all your choices and decisions.

Always.

I'm sorry, bro.

What's this?

Property papers of Shanti Niwas.

Is this your idea?

Ever since childhood, have you done anything in moderation?

Crazy fool.

Where's Uncle?

- He'll be here. - I'll miss my damn flight!

- Uncle, I thought you forgot! - Sorry, kiddo.

There was something pending that I should've taken care of long ago.

Papa?

What's going on?

The epic battle is over!

No more villains.

My dear,

I can't bring back lost time.

But I can at least try to make our future better.

Cookie.

Our gift to you.

Papers of the house?

Uncle.

I can't take this.

The house always was...

and is yours.

I really missed you.

You know...

Whenever Ritu and I used to fight,

she used to go and paint.

That's why it looked more like a museum than a house.

True.

We fought a lot, right?

Like cats and dogs.

Really?

Whatever we were, however we were...

we were family.

I've made a lot of mistakes.

Out of anger and stubbornness...

Maybe, I'm just as stubborn...

Maybe.

But you are smarter than me, Kalindi.

I'm sure you'll make the right decision.

Rishab is a very nice guy.

Your Mom would have loved him.

You're back.

No, still on the way.

The lawyer sent these papers for you to sign and send them back.

Here.

- Mohan, get me food. - Shishu?

Why are you eating downstairs?

You should go and eat upstairs.

You are the one who insists on eating in the dining room.

Hey, don't argue. Just go.

Shishu, listen.

I had asked the priest to pray.

Have the offering.

Everything will be fine.

Okay? Go now.

Go!

Yeah, okay!

Hi!

Hi, Kaloo.

Look!

It's still very scary for me.

But I still want to do it.

Because not doing it is even scarier.

Rishab Malhotra,

will you marry me?

Oh, God!

Just a minute. I'll be right back.

Is it too late, Rishab?

I had gone looking for our ring.

Baby, this... all this...

It's not going to be easy.

The family never is!

Sarita!

There they are!

The to-be bride, show us your beautiful face!

Wow.

- God, Kaloo! - Kaloo...

- Looking so beautiful. - Looking gorgeous.

What's your name, son?

Kabir Singh Stinson.

What's your name?

Hey, my name is also Kabir Singh.

Okay, I've brought something for all of you.

- What? - Something small.

Mom had four of these, I think each of us should keep one.

But...

Kalindi, how can we...

She would've wanted us to have it.

It's beautiful.

Welcome, welcome!

- Welcome. - I'll have to attend this call.

Bade Papa!

You look just like Ritu!

Papa!

You know the tailor had made this lehenga

two inches longer.

Ritu kept tripping on it.

I couldn't understand a thing when she left us.

What should I do? Where should I go?

And I'm really sorry, my dear.

I left you all alone after she passed away.

I'm really sorry.

I was never alone, Papa.

Where are you going?

There goes your car.

Damn!

I called him. He was happy to come.

- Greetings. - God bless you.

Greetings. Please come.

Hi, Auntie. Hello, Auntie.

- You're looking nice. - Hello, Auntie.

Nice dress.

I thought I should share the good news with you personally.

Actually, my divorce just got finalized.

You see, my dog of a husband caught me fucking myself.

You know, right? Self-service?

And by the way, as we are on the topic of sex and drugs.

Auntie, I should tell you that your son...

is the most famous coke dealer in Green Park.

And his biggest client is your daughter, Auntie.

And they are also having an affair.

Can't help it.

Coke's too expensive these days.

Anyway, who cares?

Are you searching for my name?

Hi, Bhandari.

Hello, beautiful.

You know, I dreamed about you last night.

Did I have my clothes on?

Unfortunately, yes.

Bye, Bhandari.

Listen.

See you downstairs.

- At least give me your mobile number! - Didn't get it in your dreams?

Kalindi and her weird and eccentric bros...

have finally made it so far.

They had each other's back. They understood each other.

They will make mistakes.

And they will learn from these mistakes.

They will write their own stories.

Which will be better than fairy tales that give false hope.

Their stories will have a new twist every day.

And they will have a new happy ending every day.

- Hello? - Hello, beautiful.

Bhandari?

How did you get my number?

Where there is a will...

there is a way!

Look to your right.

Your mom gave me your number.

Listen, Bhandari.

I have no intentions of getting married.

I'm not running behind you with a ring either.

How about a date?

Fine, I'll think about it.

Call me tomorrow.

Okay, done.

Hey, listen.

What's your first name?

Will tell you tomorrow, on our date.

Brothers! Brothers!

Brothers! Brothers!

Hide the clocks, lock the doors

Looking at the time isn't allowed no more

Hide the clocks, lock the doors

Looking at the time isn't allowed no more

We'll rock the dance floor as planned When no one gives a damn!

We'll rock the dance floor as planned When no one gives a damn!

We'll rock the dance floor as planned

Manali stuff is getting me high

I take left when I'm supposed to go right

I take left when I'm supposed to go right

We'll rock the dance floor tonight When we fly like a kite

We'll rock the dance floor tonight When we fly like a kite

Give me some heavy now

Harder

Mesmerize with your eyes Unleash your desire hidden inside

And rock the dance floor

Use the excuse of the night Let the love soar with delight

And rock the dance floor

Everyone's so drunk That India seems like Amsterdam

We'll rock the dance floor as planned When no one gives a damn!

We'll rock the dance floor as planned When no one gives a damn!

We'll rock the dance floor as planned

After so many Tinder swipes I got the one who is my Mr. Right

The one who is my Mr. Right I got the one who is my Mr. Right

We'll rock the dance floor tight When we hookup tonight!

We'll rock the dance floor tight When we hookup tonight!

Give me some heavy now

Harder

We'll rock the dance floor

We'll rock the dance floor

We'll rock the dance floor

We'll rock the dance floor

Hide the clocks, lock the doors

Looking at the time isn't allowed no more

Looking at the time isn't allowed no more

We'll rock the dance floor as planned When no one gives a damn!

We'll rock the dance floor as planned

We'll rock the dance floor as planned

We'll rock the dance floor as planned

Let me whisper a true feeling of mine

I forget the world when I see you smile

Let me know if I should Explain to you how

You should leave the one Who is with you now

Why so much attitude I don't like it

You ask too many questions I'm not paying attention to it

Tell me how much more Do I need to praise you?

Tell me how much more Do I need to praise you?

Tell me how much more Do I need to praise you?

Tell me how much more Do I need to praise you?

Baby, my mind, you blow

Others shine, you glow

You wear jeans so tight Just like my flow

Baby, goddamn You're 100, others average

Others are savage, baby you are raw

I like everything about You which others think is a flaw

Baby, let's go, right now

Don't make wait anyhow

Your waist is lean Your words are so mean

You're on dieting So attitude's off the menu too now

Tell me how much more Do I need to praise you?

Tell me how much more Do I need to praise you?

Tell me how much more Do I need to praise you?

Tell me how much more Do I need to praise you?

Why don't you get me?

Why do you fight me?

You look beautiful But your nature is deceitful

You don't get it I have told you so many times

Come with me

Why so much attitude I don't like it

You ask too many questions I'm not paying attention to it

Tell me how much more Do I need to praise you?

Tell me how much more Do I need to praise you?

Tell me how much more Do I need to praise you?

Tell me how much more Do I need to praise you?

Why so much attitude I don't like it

You ask too many questions I'm not paying attention to it