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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:09,700 Well, I'm extremely happy to announce that today is Highland High's career 2 00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:15,380 Now, this is a wonderful opportunity for you guys. This will give you a chance 3 00:00:15,380 --> 00:00:19,420 to interface with working professionals and learn about their exciting and 4 00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:20,900 rewarding job fields. 5 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:25,240 Uh, is this, like, going to be on a test or something? 6 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:30,320 This is a life test, butthead. And please raise your hand if you have a 7 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:35,610 question. And as an incentive, everyone will be excused from one day of school 8 00:00:35,610 --> 00:00:38,230 in order to observe their vocation of choice. 9 00:00:38,790 --> 00:00:40,190 Cool. Yeah. 10 00:00:40,710 --> 00:00:44,110 Vacations kick ass. They kick ass. Yeah. Kick ass. 11 00:00:44,330 --> 00:00:45,330 Yeah. 12 00:00:46,770 --> 00:00:49,050 Check this out, buddy. 13 00:00:50,110 --> 00:00:53,510 You could be saving money on long -distance calls to family and friends. 14 00:00:54,290 --> 00:00:58,290 Yeah. They keep talking about big savings, but I just don't see it. 15 00:01:04,060 --> 00:01:05,060 Oh, no. 16 00:01:05,980 --> 00:01:06,980 Oh, 17 00:01:07,380 --> 00:01:09,460 boy. How did this ever happen? 18 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:10,920 Yeah, really. 19 00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:14,060 This is like just a bunch of bungholes. Yeah, yeah. 20 00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:17,180 Yeah, because... Whoa, that's that Brenda bitch from Beverly Hills, 21 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:21,920 902355781234567898265. 210. 22 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,460 Leave us next time you're talking about that show. 23 00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:28,860 Just say Beverly Hills and forget about the numbers, okay? 24 00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:30,220 Oh, okay. 25 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:37,040 So, like, why the hell is she hanging out with these wussies? 26 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:41,100 Yeah, I thought that, like, if you're a bitch, You'd, like, be into, like, 27 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:42,120 something more hardcore. 28 00:01:42,340 --> 00:01:47,700 I think sometimes if you're a bitch, it's like, you listen to crap like this. 29 00:01:47,980 --> 00:01:51,100 Yeah, maybe it's like, it's like, she doesn't even like it, but she just, 30 00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:54,240 plays this stuff just to piss people off because she's a bitch. 31 00:01:54,660 --> 00:01:55,660 Yeah. 32 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:57,600 Bitches are cruel. 33 00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:00,380 Bitches are cruel. 34 00:02:04,020 --> 00:02:05,020 Um, 35 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,860 hey, this guy looks familiar. 36 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,680 Well, that's that guy. Remember when we saw those naked movies at your uncle's 37 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:14,260 house? That's the guy that was in them, right there. 38 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:19,680 How do you know, Beavis? I recognize him. That's him. That's the guy that was 39 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:20,680 those naked movies, remember? 40 00:02:20,700 --> 00:02:23,540 It's like, he had a schlong and he was like, you know, like doing that, you 41 00:02:23,540 --> 00:02:27,800 know. You were looking at that guy's face when there was all that porn action 42 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:28,800 going on? 43 00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:32,040 Well, you were probably looking at his wiener, dumbass. 44 00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:34,700 No, I wasn't. 45 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,260 I was looking, like, around his wiener. 46 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,200 I guess he's, like, in a band or something? 47 00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:47,080 No. This band probably just, like, keeps him around because he can get chicks. 48 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:49,040 Yeah. 49 00:02:50,060 --> 00:02:51,960 How come that guy gets to be a naked movie? 50 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,740 He's just, like, a big, fat, ugly slob. 51 00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:56,260 Yeah. 52 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:01,880 Well, you're almost there, Beavis. All you need to do is just, like, get fat. 53 00:03:02,540 --> 00:03:05,180 Really? How do I get big and fat? 54 00:03:06,140 --> 00:03:07,820 Uh... I don't know. 55 00:03:10,860 --> 00:03:13,840 I'm getting sick and tired of dudes who sing like this. 56 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:18,960 Yeah, it's like almost every damn video you see has, like, some guy singing like 57 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:19,960 this. Yeah. 58 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:24,080 It's like he's trying to be alternative. 59 00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:28,800 Yeah, yeah, yeah, something like that, yeah. And it sucks. 60 00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:35,470 We markets are cool. 61 00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:39,030 Yeah. Say, boys, interested in the printed page? 62 00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:42,250 Uh, you got anything with naked chicks? 63 00:03:42,530 --> 00:03:43,529 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 64 00:03:43,530 --> 00:03:44,530 With big hooters. 65 00:03:44,770 --> 00:03:51,110 Uh, no. We do mostly educational and technical manuals. Who's gonna buy that 66 00:03:51,110 --> 00:03:52,690 crap? Yeah, really. 67 00:03:53,850 --> 00:03:57,350 Beavis, butthead, you're supposed to be exploring career opportunities. 68 00:03:57,970 --> 00:03:59,490 These jobs are stupid. 69 00:03:59,870 --> 00:04:02,830 Yeah. Everyone, like, works in a booth. 70 00:04:03,430 --> 00:04:05,190 These people don't work in boobs. 71 00:04:05,430 --> 00:04:07,830 They're here to answer questions and help you plan your future. 72 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,190 Your life after graduation? 73 00:04:14,690 --> 00:04:18,589 Well, if you guys don't pick a career, Van Driesen won't let you skip a day of 74 00:04:18,589 --> 00:04:19,589 school next week. 75 00:04:19,769 --> 00:04:22,010 Uh, skip school? 76 00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:23,850 Uh, 77 00:04:28,930 --> 00:04:30,830 we, like, need a career or something. 78 00:04:32,950 --> 00:04:33,950 Help us get out of school. 79 00:04:34,590 --> 00:04:37,370 You fellas think you got what it takes for security work? 80 00:04:37,690 --> 00:04:39,390 Do we get to kick some ass? 81 00:04:40,070 --> 00:04:42,370 Yeah. Do we get taters and tear gas? 82 00:04:43,010 --> 00:04:44,010 Hell no. 83 00:04:44,530 --> 00:04:45,690 I work at the mall. 84 00:04:46,030 --> 00:04:47,030 Video surveillance. 85 00:04:47,670 --> 00:04:49,650 Basically, they pay me to watch TV all day. 86 00:04:50,050 --> 00:04:51,050 Whoa. 87 00:04:51,570 --> 00:04:54,490 Cool. Yeah, yeah. Hey, buddy. We can do that. 88 00:04:55,710 --> 00:04:56,710 Yeah. 89 00:04:57,890 --> 00:04:59,470 This is gonna be cool. 90 00:05:02,350 --> 00:05:06,330 Coming up next, Butthead helps an old lady across Snake River Canyon. 91 00:05:08,130 --> 00:05:09,130 Stay tuned. 92 00:05:13,170 --> 00:05:14,169 Okay, fellas. 93 00:05:14,170 --> 00:05:16,670 Very simple. All you have to do is watch these screens. 94 00:05:17,130 --> 00:05:18,390 Cool. Hey, 95 00:05:19,330 --> 00:05:20,069 where's the remote? 96 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,070 Hey, mill him out! 97 00:05:22,090 --> 00:05:25,790 If you spot any unusual activity, you come and get me immediately. 98 00:05:26,190 --> 00:05:27,890 I gotta go secure the food court. 99 00:05:28,190 --> 00:05:29,610 Uh, okay, dude. 100 00:05:30,220 --> 00:05:32,180 Yeah. Okay, we got it under control. 101 00:05:36,020 --> 00:05:37,720 These shows suck. 102 00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:40,780 Yeah. Change it to something cool. 103 00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:42,500 I'm trying. 104 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:47,320 There's nothing good on. These channels all suck. 105 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:48,720 Yeah. 106 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:52,180 Really. Let's go out and bust somebody or something. 107 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:53,600 Yeah. 108 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,020 Let's secure them all. 109 00:05:59,740 --> 00:06:00,719 Hey, buddy. 110 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,140 People respect the badge. 111 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:03,640 Yeah. 112 00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:07,140 Because it, like, gives us permission to kick their ass and stuff. 113 00:06:10,700 --> 00:06:12,240 Chicks like a man in a uniform. 114 00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:13,500 Yeah. 115 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,940 Check this out. 116 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:19,380 Excuse me, ma 'am. 117 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,740 Yes? I'm, like, security. 118 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:27,180 And, like, I'm gonna have to ask you to, you know, assume the position. 119 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,900 If you lay a hand on me, I'll sue your ass. 120 00:06:33,420 --> 00:06:34,420 Whoa. 121 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,019 Hey, buddy. 122 00:06:37,020 --> 00:06:38,680 Let's look for some crimes or something. 123 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:40,520 Yeah. 124 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,740 Uh, excuse me, sir. Did you pay for that? 125 00:06:46,020 --> 00:06:47,020 Yeah, yeah. 126 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:49,500 If you just cooperate, it'll make it a lot easier on both of us, okay? 127 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:52,400 Uh, 128 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,220 excuse me, ma 'am. 129 00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:55,540 Who, me? 130 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:57,560 Could you step over here for a minute, please? 131 00:06:58,030 --> 00:06:58,709 Yeah, yeah. 132 00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:01,010 Yeah, we'd just like to talk to you for a minute, please. Could you step over 133 00:07:01,010 --> 00:07:02,010 here? 134 00:07:02,350 --> 00:07:03,810 This is gonna be cool. 135 00:07:06,530 --> 00:07:07,530 Oh, 136 00:07:11,610 --> 00:07:14,270 check it out, butthead. It's an outie. That's not an outie, Beavis. 137 00:07:14,470 --> 00:07:16,090 There's two of them. See, it's a nipple. 138 00:07:16,430 --> 00:07:18,370 Those aren't nipples, butthead. Look how low they are. 139 00:07:18,690 --> 00:07:21,850 No way, Beavis. That's just because she doesn't have any legs or a butt. 140 00:07:22,230 --> 00:07:26,670 Oh, yeah, yeah. Besides, nipples can be low. Just look at your mom. 141 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:28,720 Yeah, I guess they are nipples, man. 142 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,160 Whoa, check out that black juice. 143 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:33,760 Yeah. 144 00:07:34,340 --> 00:07:35,720 He's going to save the day. 145 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,000 Oh, yeah, yeah. 146 00:07:41,740 --> 00:07:42,519 Check it out. 147 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:43,519 He's shaking his head. 148 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:44,980 Wake up. Wake up, honky. 149 00:07:45,780 --> 00:07:46,780 Yeah. 150 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:51,000 That dude's like, dang it, quit messing with my head and go get my legs. 151 00:07:53,820 --> 00:07:54,820 Yeah. 152 00:08:02,530 --> 00:08:04,750 Check it out, buddy. A flot. 153 00:08:05,550 --> 00:08:06,550 Yeah. 154 00:08:07,670 --> 00:08:09,450 Your mother, the flot. 155 00:08:10,550 --> 00:08:11,550 I'm not a mother. 156 00:08:11,670 --> 00:08:12,670 I'm a bee. 157 00:08:13,030 --> 00:08:14,790 Well, that dude's got a pet bee. 158 00:08:16,510 --> 00:08:17,510 That's pretty cool, yeah. 159 00:08:18,350 --> 00:08:21,490 I had a bee that I teach it to go sting people. 160 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,320 Take him, boy. Take him. Take him in the box. Go. 161 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:26,920 Yeah. 162 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,080 Okay. 163 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:32,480 Good night, little dude. 164 00:08:32,740 --> 00:08:33,740 See you tomorrow. 165 00:08:36,919 --> 00:08:37,919 Oh. 166 00:08:38,140 --> 00:08:39,860 What the hell are those punks doing? 167 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:43,320 Uh, did you pay for that, ma 'am? 168 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,800 Yeah. Can I see your receipt, please? 169 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:47,660 Yeah. Can I see your slip? 170 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:49,480 Excuse me? 171 00:08:49,860 --> 00:08:52,560 Uh, can we, like... Frisk you? 172 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:55,240 Yeah, yeah, me too. I don't think so. 173 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,240 What are you doing away from your post? 174 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,000 Let me handle this. 175 00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:02,940 Did you, uh, purchase that, ma 'am? 176 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,320 Yes, I did. 177 00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:07,340 I apologize, ma 'am. I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position. 178 00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:09,400 It looks like a full cavity search. 179 00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:14,480 White trash, rent -a -cop piece of... 180 00:09:22,150 --> 00:09:23,150 Security is cool. 181 00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:34,730 Is that one of those sneaker ads where, like, the basketball players sit 182 00:09:34,730 --> 00:09:35,730 around in a barbershop? 183 00:09:36,090 --> 00:09:37,090 Uh, yeah. 184 00:09:37,390 --> 00:09:39,670 Only it's, like, a bunch of white guys. 185 00:09:40,670 --> 00:09:42,090 And white music. 186 00:09:43,230 --> 00:09:45,590 Yeah. It's butt -white music. 187 00:09:47,930 --> 00:09:49,190 Hey, where'd that cat come from? 188 00:09:49,550 --> 00:09:52,130 I think it came out of his nose. 189 00:09:52,770 --> 00:09:55,050 Is that supposed to be funny? 190 00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:57,790 It's supposed to be. 191 00:09:58,950 --> 00:10:01,330 It would have been funny if it came out of his butt. 192 00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:06,230 Why is that? I mean, how come, like, if it comes out of his nose, it's not that 193 00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:08,590 funny, but, like, if it comes out of his butt, it's funny? 194 00:10:09,030 --> 00:10:12,630 Why is that? Well, it's because, like, your butt has a crack in it. 195 00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:14,750 Oh, yeah. 196 00:10:21,070 --> 00:10:26,150 What a wuss. 197 00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:32,670 I hate it when you go to the barber, and it's like, he starts cutting your hair, 198 00:10:32,690 --> 00:10:34,770 and then he goes, oh, how's school? 199 00:10:35,190 --> 00:10:36,190 Yeah. 200 00:10:36,690 --> 00:10:38,430 I usually say, it sucks. 201 00:10:38,730 --> 00:10:41,230 Now shut up and cut my hair before I fix that. 202 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,440 comb up your butt. 203 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:46,500 You know, butthead, maybe that's why you get all those fucky haircuts, you know. 204 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:47,980 Maybe you should try being a little nicer. 205 00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:50,900 I'm gonna shove a comb up your butt. 206 00:10:52,060 --> 00:10:53,380 My hair looks cool. 14348