All language subtitles for Beavis and Butthead S05E01 Held Back
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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:06,740
All right, what's the square root of
nine?
2
00:00:08,180 --> 00:00:11,640
Beavis and Butthead, do you know the
answer?
3
00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:17,800
Uh, can you, like, repeat the question a
few times?
4
00:00:18,140 --> 00:00:20,980
The square root of the number nine.
5
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:22,980
Answer, pronto.
6
00:00:23,860 --> 00:00:25,800
Um, 60?
7
00:00:26,300 --> 00:00:29,800
Uh, 90210?
8
00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:32,520
Yeah, um, LMNOP?
9
00:00:36,980 --> 00:00:43,220
I agree with him, boys. Your
difficulties in math, as well as every
10
00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:47,080
make it clear that you just don't belong
in the ninth grade.
11
00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:53,320
I'm calling the principal of Wilson
Elementary School to arrange for you
12
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,500
go back one grade.
13
00:00:54,860 --> 00:00:57,920
Uh, so, like, what grade would that put
us in?
14
00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,400
Yeah. Are we going to, like, be in
college?
15
00:01:01,820 --> 00:01:03,260
That would be cool.
16
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,479
Yeah, then we'd score.
17
00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:07,960
Enjoy your new school, boys.
18
00:01:22,890 --> 00:01:27,610
It is in these hills that Juan Valdez
and his trusty goat gather coffee beans
19
00:01:27,610 --> 00:01:28,610
every morning.
20
00:01:29,010 --> 00:01:30,010
Yeah.
21
00:01:37,910 --> 00:01:39,310
That guy's face.
22
00:01:40,730 --> 00:01:41,730
Yeah.
23
00:01:42,610 --> 00:01:44,750
I can make a face like that. Check this
out.
24
00:01:48,510 --> 00:01:51,270
That wasn't very good, but...
25
00:01:52,140 --> 00:01:54,200
That was scary, man.
26
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:57,420
Yeah, that scared the bejeebus out of
me.
27
00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:02,120
Black
28
00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:09,919
hole
29
00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:10,919
sun.
30
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,360
Black hole sun.
31
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:15,380
Black hole?
32
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:17,040
Black hole?
33
00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:20,020
Black hole?
34
00:02:21,630 --> 00:02:22,850
Hey, Butter, what is a black hole?
35
00:02:23,150 --> 00:02:27,230
Uh, it's sort of like a bunghole, but
it's like... Whoa, Butter, check it out.
36
00:02:27,290 --> 00:02:28,390
That's a chick from Whale, remember?
37
00:02:28,590 --> 00:02:31,530
That hobo slumping, hobo slut, uh,
remember?
38
00:02:32,190 --> 00:02:34,230
Shut up, Beavis. I was explaining
something.
39
00:02:34,670 --> 00:02:35,670
Oh, okay.
40
00:02:35,810 --> 00:02:40,830
So, like, the black hole is like this
giant bunghole in outer space.
41
00:02:42,050 --> 00:02:46,950
It's like it sucks up the whole
universe, and then it's like it grinds
42
00:02:46,950 --> 00:02:48,630
and, like, sends it all to hell or
something.
43
00:02:48,870 --> 00:02:49,870
Whoa, really?
44
00:02:50,190 --> 00:02:51,190
Cool.
45
00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:55,080
But, like, um, how do you know all this
stuff? From watching Star Trek,
46
00:02:55,220 --> 00:02:56,220
bunghole.
47
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:02,360
This sucks.
48
00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:06,420
Yeah. Why do we have to, like, go back
to eighth grade to get to college?
49
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:10,620
Cancel out the common factors, and we
have x equals two squared.
50
00:03:11,140 --> 00:03:14,140
So x is obviously two times two.
51
00:03:14,340 --> 00:03:16,800
Have you ever, like, been with an older
man?
52
00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:19,720
Leave me alone, you loser.
53
00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:25,260
Luthor. Shut up, dill hole.
54
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:31,180
Excuse me. Are you paying attention back
there?
55
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:32,680
No.
56
00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:37,140
What did I just say X is?
57
00:03:38,340 --> 00:03:41,360
Two squared.
58
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,680
Two squared.
59
00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:48,480
Two to the second power.
60
00:03:56,970 --> 00:04:00,330
Four plus five? Come on. Four added to
five?
61
00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:02,090
Um, W?
62
00:04:03,090 --> 00:04:07,690
No way, Beaver. Uh, like two squared or
something?
63
00:04:07,990 --> 00:04:13,250
This desk is giving me a stiffy. I don't
even have room for a stiffy.
64
00:04:13,490 --> 00:04:14,490
This sucks.
65
00:04:20,790 --> 00:04:21,790
Hey, Beaver.
66
00:04:22,650 --> 00:04:24,210
These ticks are flat.
67
00:04:24,470 --> 00:04:25,470
Yeah.
68
00:04:28,460 --> 00:04:33,360
Coming up next, Beavis tries the new
morning after pill, and it worked. Stay
69
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,360
tuned.
70
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:41,960
So the mean, grumpy bear turned into a
nice, happy bear.
71
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:47,600
And he lived happily ever after with the
100 jars of honey, minus one.
72
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:49,460
Numbers suck.
73
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:54,240
Are you angry, butthead? Yeah. I'm,
like, angry at numbers.
74
00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,140
Yeah. There's like too many of them and
stuff.
75
00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,660
That's okay. It's alright to be angry.
76
00:05:00,940 --> 00:05:02,800
Everyone gets angry sometimes.
77
00:05:03,780 --> 00:05:07,500
Well, let's do some coloring now. Won't
that be fun?
78
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,540
What's with you, dumbass?
79
00:05:11,940 --> 00:05:13,000
Coloring sucks.
80
00:05:17,660 --> 00:05:22,480
Who wants juice and cookies?
81
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,720
Yeah. These cookies suck.
82
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:33,840
Do you have any, like, nachos?
83
00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:36,680
No, I don't have any nachos. Sorry.
84
00:05:36,980 --> 00:05:40,720
And I don't like spitting. Spitting can
spread germs.
85
00:05:41,020 --> 00:05:42,480
Germs. Germs.
86
00:05:58,730 --> 00:06:03,210
Either get these imbeciles out of my
class, or get yourself a new
87
00:06:03,210 --> 00:06:09,070
teacher. Well, I could try sending them
back to preschool, but eventually they'd
88
00:06:09,070 --> 00:06:10,070
come back through here.
89
00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:16,570
Uh, why don't you, like, put us in a
higher grade? You know, where the chicks
90
00:06:16,570 --> 00:06:19,030
have big thingies? Yeah, yeah, me too.
91
00:06:19,730 --> 00:06:20,750
See what I mean?
92
00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:22,410
Yes, I see.
93
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,490
Hey, these boys just gave me an idea.
94
00:06:27,450 --> 00:06:31,410
You're looking at the brightest students
that have ever passed through the
95
00:06:31,410 --> 00:06:33,790
hallowed halls of Wilson Elementary
School.
96
00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:35,310
Yeah.
97
00:06:41,070 --> 00:06:42,070
Whoa,
98
00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:43,629
check it out, butthead.
99
00:06:43,630 --> 00:06:45,670
There's a chick back there in that
window. I think she's naked.
100
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:47,030
Shut up, Beaver.
101
00:06:47,250 --> 00:06:48,250
No, she's not.
102
00:06:48,470 --> 00:06:50,030
Okay. Okay.
103
00:06:56,970 --> 00:07:00,250
Hey, Beavis, that guy said he hears dark
voices in his head.
104
00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:02,210
Oh, really?
105
00:07:02,270 --> 00:07:05,250
I hear voices, too, but, like, usually
they're white guys.
106
00:07:06,410 --> 00:07:09,290
Sometimes it's, like, you know, a
Chinese dude, too, that talks to me.
107
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:10,950
A couple Mexicans.
108
00:07:11,370 --> 00:07:12,370
Really?
109
00:07:13,770 --> 00:07:15,350
What does the Chinese guy say?
110
00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:17,990
He says, hold on your pants.
111
00:07:18,590 --> 00:07:19,590
Thank you, monkey.
112
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:23,100
What does a white guy say?
113
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,600
The same thing, but he talks just like
me.
114
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,860
Yeah, yeah, yeah, here we go. Yeah, come
on, come on, hit it, hit it.
115
00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:35,100
Come on, smack it.
116
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,280
Smack it, come on. Come on, what are you
waiting for? Smack it.
117
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,540
Settle down, Viva.
118
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:40,560
This is a video.
119
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:45,120
Anytime you see a cake and a baseball
bat in the same video, the cake is going
120
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:46,120
to get its ass kicked.
121
00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:50,400
Yeah, but why do you wait so long? Come
on, come on. Break it, break it. Smack
122
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:51,400
it, come on.
123
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:08,140
I don't see what the big deal is about
breaking up. I'd just like to say, hey,
124
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:09,800
baby, get lost.
125
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:14,980
You know, we can, like, still do it and
stuff, but I'm going to have to ask you
126
00:08:14,980 --> 00:08:16,480
to leave. Hey, hey, hey, shut up, shut
up, shut up.
127
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:18,700
Yeah! Yeah!
128
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:20,960
See?
129
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:22,300
I told you, butt -mon.
130
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:25,120
Stop,
131
00:08:26,980 --> 00:08:28,580
pupils, my ass!
132
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,840
These two boys are morons!
133
00:08:32,059 --> 00:08:34,020
You just weren't reaching them.
134
00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:37,520
They've learned everything they're going
to learn in elementary school.
135
00:08:37,799 --> 00:08:40,240
Now their young minds need room to grow.
136
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:43,700
So we graduated them early, and we're
not taking them back.
137
00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:48,260
Uh, you just weren't reaching us, dude.
138
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,460
And if you try reaching for it, I'll
kick you in the nab.
139
00:08:54,340 --> 00:08:56,900
Oh, fuck crying out loud.
140
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:00,480
Hey,
141
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:04,360
maybe they'll break it.
142
00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:09,580
What?
143
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:11,800
What's going on?
144
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:22,980
It sounds like everything else sounds
like right now. Yeah, it's like there's
145
00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:26,520
about a bazillion bands that sound
exactly like this right now. Yeah.
146
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,240
At least they're breaking stuff.
147
00:09:29,460 --> 00:09:30,460
Mm -hmm.
148
00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:33,540
Whoa, they're putting honey on grapes?
149
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,200
Yeah, yeah.
150
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:36,240
That's cool.
151
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:40,020
Remember that movie where they buried
that guy up to his neck, and then, like,
152
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,240
put honey on him and brought out the
ants? Yeah.
153
00:09:43,260 --> 00:09:44,480
That sounds cool.
154
00:09:44,780 --> 00:09:45,780
Yeah.
155
00:09:47,819 --> 00:09:48,819
I tried that once.
156
00:09:48,980 --> 00:09:52,960
It was like, it was like, I buried
myself up to my neck. And it was like, I
157
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:53,960
forgot to get the honey.
158
00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:55,020
You dumbass.
159
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:58,480
So I was like, so then I dug myself out.
But it was like, I was too lazy. And
160
00:09:58,480 --> 00:09:59,540
I'm like, you know, do it again.
161
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,300
Yeah.
162
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,940
Remember that time I tried to bury you
up to your neck? Yeah, but you did it
163
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:09,440
wrong. The guy in the movie looked like
a beetroot.
164
00:10:10,670 --> 00:10:11,529
Oh, yeah.
165
00:10:11,530 --> 00:10:14,610
Then you got all freaked out and ran up
and down the street with your pants
166
00:10:14,610 --> 00:10:15,610
around your ankle.
167
00:10:16,070 --> 00:10:18,130
I didn't really run. I just kind of
hopped.
168
00:10:19,210 --> 00:10:20,210
Cool.
11594
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