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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:06,740 All right, what's the square root of nine? 2 00:00:08,180 --> 00:00:11,640 Beavis and Butthead, do you know the answer? 3 00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:17,800 Uh, can you, like, repeat the question a few times? 4 00:00:18,140 --> 00:00:20,980 The square root of the number nine. 5 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:22,980 Answer, pronto. 6 00:00:23,860 --> 00:00:25,800 Um, 60? 7 00:00:26,300 --> 00:00:29,800 Uh, 90210? 8 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:32,520 Yeah, um, LMNOP? 9 00:00:36,980 --> 00:00:43,220 I agree with him, boys. Your difficulties in math, as well as every 10 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:47,080 make it clear that you just don't belong in the ninth grade. 11 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:53,320 I'm calling the principal of Wilson Elementary School to arrange for you 12 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,500 go back one grade. 13 00:00:54,860 --> 00:00:57,920 Uh, so, like, what grade would that put us in? 14 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,400 Yeah. Are we going to, like, be in college? 15 00:01:01,820 --> 00:01:03,260 That would be cool. 16 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,479 Yeah, then we'd score. 17 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:07,960 Enjoy your new school, boys. 18 00:01:22,890 --> 00:01:27,610 It is in these hills that Juan Valdez and his trusty goat gather coffee beans 19 00:01:27,610 --> 00:01:28,610 every morning. 20 00:01:29,010 --> 00:01:30,010 Yeah. 21 00:01:37,910 --> 00:01:39,310 That guy's face. 22 00:01:40,730 --> 00:01:41,730 Yeah. 23 00:01:42,610 --> 00:01:44,750 I can make a face like that. Check this out. 24 00:01:48,510 --> 00:01:51,270 That wasn't very good, but... 25 00:01:52,140 --> 00:01:54,200 That was scary, man. 26 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:57,420 Yeah, that scared the bejeebus out of me. 27 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:02,120 Black 28 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:09,919 hole 29 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:10,919 sun. 30 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,360 Black hole sun. 31 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:15,380 Black hole? 32 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:17,040 Black hole? 33 00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:20,020 Black hole? 34 00:02:21,630 --> 00:02:22,850 Hey, Butter, what is a black hole? 35 00:02:23,150 --> 00:02:27,230 Uh, it's sort of like a bunghole, but it's like... Whoa, Butter, check it out. 36 00:02:27,290 --> 00:02:28,390 That's a chick from Whale, remember? 37 00:02:28,590 --> 00:02:31,530 That hobo slumping, hobo slut, uh, remember? 38 00:02:32,190 --> 00:02:34,230 Shut up, Beavis. I was explaining something. 39 00:02:34,670 --> 00:02:35,670 Oh, okay. 40 00:02:35,810 --> 00:02:40,830 So, like, the black hole is like this giant bunghole in outer space. 41 00:02:42,050 --> 00:02:46,950 It's like it sucks up the whole universe, and then it's like it grinds 42 00:02:46,950 --> 00:02:48,630 and, like, sends it all to hell or something. 43 00:02:48,870 --> 00:02:49,870 Whoa, really? 44 00:02:50,190 --> 00:02:51,190 Cool. 45 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:55,080 But, like, um, how do you know all this stuff? From watching Star Trek, 46 00:02:55,220 --> 00:02:56,220 bunghole. 47 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:02,360 This sucks. 48 00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:06,420 Yeah. Why do we have to, like, go back to eighth grade to get to college? 49 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:10,620 Cancel out the common factors, and we have x equals two squared. 50 00:03:11,140 --> 00:03:14,140 So x is obviously two times two. 51 00:03:14,340 --> 00:03:16,800 Have you ever, like, been with an older man? 52 00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:19,720 Leave me alone, you loser. 53 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:25,260 Luthor. Shut up, dill hole. 54 00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:31,180 Excuse me. Are you paying attention back there? 55 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:32,680 No. 56 00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:37,140 What did I just say X is? 57 00:03:38,340 --> 00:03:41,360 Two squared. 58 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,680 Two squared. 59 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:48,480 Two to the second power. 60 00:03:56,970 --> 00:04:00,330 Four plus five? Come on. Four added to five? 61 00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:02,090 Um, W? 62 00:04:03,090 --> 00:04:07,690 No way, Beaver. Uh, like two squared or something? 63 00:04:07,990 --> 00:04:13,250 This desk is giving me a stiffy. I don't even have room for a stiffy. 64 00:04:13,490 --> 00:04:14,490 This sucks. 65 00:04:20,790 --> 00:04:21,790 Hey, Beaver. 66 00:04:22,650 --> 00:04:24,210 These ticks are flat. 67 00:04:24,470 --> 00:04:25,470 Yeah. 68 00:04:28,460 --> 00:04:33,360 Coming up next, Beavis tries the new morning after pill, and it worked. Stay 69 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,360 tuned. 70 00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:41,960 So the mean, grumpy bear turned into a nice, happy bear. 71 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:47,600 And he lived happily ever after with the 100 jars of honey, minus one. 72 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:49,460 Numbers suck. 73 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:54,240 Are you angry, butthead? Yeah. I'm, like, angry at numbers. 74 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,140 Yeah. There's like too many of them and stuff. 75 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,660 That's okay. It's alright to be angry. 76 00:05:00,940 --> 00:05:02,800 Everyone gets angry sometimes. 77 00:05:03,780 --> 00:05:07,500 Well, let's do some coloring now. Won't that be fun? 78 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,540 What's with you, dumbass? 79 00:05:11,940 --> 00:05:13,000 Coloring sucks. 80 00:05:17,660 --> 00:05:22,480 Who wants juice and cookies? 81 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,720 Yeah. These cookies suck. 82 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:33,840 Do you have any, like, nachos? 83 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:36,680 No, I don't have any nachos. Sorry. 84 00:05:36,980 --> 00:05:40,720 And I don't like spitting. Spitting can spread germs. 85 00:05:41,020 --> 00:05:42,480 Germs. Germs. 86 00:05:58,730 --> 00:06:03,210 Either get these imbeciles out of my class, or get yourself a new 87 00:06:03,210 --> 00:06:09,070 teacher. Well, I could try sending them back to preschool, but eventually they'd 88 00:06:09,070 --> 00:06:10,070 come back through here. 89 00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:16,570 Uh, why don't you, like, put us in a higher grade? You know, where the chicks 90 00:06:16,570 --> 00:06:19,030 have big thingies? Yeah, yeah, me too. 91 00:06:19,730 --> 00:06:20,750 See what I mean? 92 00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:22,410 Yes, I see. 93 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,490 Hey, these boys just gave me an idea. 94 00:06:27,450 --> 00:06:31,410 You're looking at the brightest students that have ever passed through the 95 00:06:31,410 --> 00:06:33,790 hallowed halls of Wilson Elementary School. 96 00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:35,310 Yeah. 97 00:06:41,070 --> 00:06:42,070 Whoa, 98 00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:43,629 check it out, butthead. 99 00:06:43,630 --> 00:06:45,670 There's a chick back there in that window. I think she's naked. 100 00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:47,030 Shut up, Beaver. 101 00:06:47,250 --> 00:06:48,250 No, she's not. 102 00:06:48,470 --> 00:06:50,030 Okay. Okay. 103 00:06:56,970 --> 00:07:00,250 Hey, Beavis, that guy said he hears dark voices in his head. 104 00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:02,210 Oh, really? 105 00:07:02,270 --> 00:07:05,250 I hear voices, too, but, like, usually they're white guys. 106 00:07:06,410 --> 00:07:09,290 Sometimes it's, like, you know, a Chinese dude, too, that talks to me. 107 00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:10,950 A couple Mexicans. 108 00:07:11,370 --> 00:07:12,370 Really? 109 00:07:13,770 --> 00:07:15,350 What does the Chinese guy say? 110 00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:17,990 He says, hold on your pants. 111 00:07:18,590 --> 00:07:19,590 Thank you, monkey. 112 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:23,100 What does a white guy say? 113 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,600 The same thing, but he talks just like me. 114 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,860 Yeah, yeah, yeah, here we go. Yeah, come on, come on, hit it, hit it. 115 00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:35,100 Come on, smack it. 116 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,280 Smack it, come on. Come on, what are you waiting for? Smack it. 117 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,540 Settle down, Viva. 118 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:40,560 This is a video. 119 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:45,120 Anytime you see a cake and a baseball bat in the same video, the cake is going 120 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:46,120 to get its ass kicked. 121 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:50,400 Yeah, but why do you wait so long? Come on, come on. Break it, break it. Smack 122 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:51,400 it, come on. 123 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:08,140 I don't see what the big deal is about breaking up. I'd just like to say, hey, 124 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:09,800 baby, get lost. 125 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:14,980 You know, we can, like, still do it and stuff, but I'm going to have to ask you 126 00:08:14,980 --> 00:08:16,480 to leave. Hey, hey, hey, shut up, shut up, shut up. 127 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:18,700 Yeah! Yeah! 128 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:20,960 See? 129 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:22,300 I told you, butt -mon. 130 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:25,120 Stop, 131 00:08:26,980 --> 00:08:28,580 pupils, my ass! 132 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,840 These two boys are morons! 133 00:08:32,059 --> 00:08:34,020 You just weren't reaching them. 134 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:37,520 They've learned everything they're going to learn in elementary school. 135 00:08:37,799 --> 00:08:40,240 Now their young minds need room to grow. 136 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:43,700 So we graduated them early, and we're not taking them back. 137 00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:48,260 Uh, you just weren't reaching us, dude. 138 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,460 And if you try reaching for it, I'll kick you in the nab. 139 00:08:54,340 --> 00:08:56,900 Oh, fuck crying out loud. 140 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:00,480 Hey, 141 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:04,360 maybe they'll break it. 142 00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:09,580 What? 143 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:11,800 What's going on? 144 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:22,980 It sounds like everything else sounds like right now. Yeah, it's like there's 145 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:26,520 about a bazillion bands that sound exactly like this right now. Yeah. 146 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,240 At least they're breaking stuff. 147 00:09:29,460 --> 00:09:30,460 Mm -hmm. 148 00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:33,540 Whoa, they're putting honey on grapes? 149 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,200 Yeah, yeah. 150 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:36,240 That's cool. 151 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:40,020 Remember that movie where they buried that guy up to his neck, and then, like, 152 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,240 put honey on him and brought out the ants? Yeah. 153 00:09:43,260 --> 00:09:44,480 That sounds cool. 154 00:09:44,780 --> 00:09:45,780 Yeah. 155 00:09:47,819 --> 00:09:48,819 I tried that once. 156 00:09:48,980 --> 00:09:52,960 It was like, it was like, I buried myself up to my neck. And it was like, I 157 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:53,960 forgot to get the honey. 158 00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:55,020 You dumbass. 159 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:58,480 So I was like, so then I dug myself out. But it was like, I was too lazy. And 160 00:09:58,480 --> 00:09:59,540 I'm like, you know, do it again. 161 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,300 Yeah. 162 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,940 Remember that time I tried to bury you up to your neck? Yeah, but you did it 163 00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:09,440 wrong. The guy in the movie looked like a beetroot. 164 00:10:10,670 --> 00:10:11,529 Oh, yeah. 165 00:10:11,530 --> 00:10:14,610 Then you got all freaked out and ran up and down the street with your pants 166 00:10:14,610 --> 00:10:15,610 around your ankle. 167 00:10:16,070 --> 00:10:18,130 I didn't really run. I just kind of hopped. 168 00:10:19,210 --> 00:10:20,210 Cool. 11594