Original subtitles

♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪

♪ Gonna have myself a time

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪

♪ I'm headin' on down to South Park ♪

♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

♪ Come on down to South Park ♪

♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪

-Hello, sir. -My name is Red,

and I go to South Park Elementary.

Would you like to sign my petition?

Why sure, little girl.

What's your petition for?

It's to try and get everyone to smell my farts.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa! -What's going on here?

Oh, wow, Santa Claus!

You've been a bad girl, Red,

so I'm gonna piss in your face now.

Oh, no, you better not, Santa!

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!

-Ew! -Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!

See?

And then Santa Claus pisses in her face!

There, now you smell like Santa's piss.

Wow, that looks pretty real.

Hey, fellas!

Fellas, check this out!

Me and Kenny made a generative AI video

of Red getting pissed on by Santa Claus.

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!

Aw, dude.

It's really easy, you can make the videos online.

We made one of Red eating dog shit,

and one of Red barfing up tampons.

Dude, that's not cool.

Yeah, why would you guys do this to her?

-'Cause Red's a bitch! -She totally used me.

Red pretended she liked me to get me to buy her a Labubu.

That bitch deserves it.

You shouldn't be using AI to make revenge porn, Butters.

That's gonna totally backfire.

Ah, what's gonna happen?

Ho, ho, ho, ho.

-That little shit! -Ho, ho, ho, ho!

That little shit!

It's already all over the school.

Butters is trying to humiliate you.

What the hell did I do to him?

Well, you did kind of use him.

I didn't use him.

He wanted to buy me a Labubu.

You should go tell the principal, Red.

They said if anyone made these kind of videos

of other students, they'd call the police.

I don't need to tell the principal.

There's gonna be a big assembly this afternoon.

I'll get Butters back myself.

All right, everyone, listen up.

As you know, most of your brains have been sucked void

of common sense by the woke radical left.

And so today's topic is about having some pride

in America's heritage!

Pay attention.

America.

It was built on a dream.

An idea that almost all people should be free.

When our forefathers first came to this great nation,

-they... ... in the... -... Mayflower...

Plymouth...

♪ Totoro, Totoro

♪ Totoro, Totoro

Well, hey, everybody!

It's me, Butters.

And this is my friend, Totoro.

And you know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna fuck him.

Yep, that's right, I'm Butters,

and I'm gonna have sex with Totoro right now.

Oh! Oh.

Whoa!

Oh, you bitch!

What the hell is this?

I told him.

All right, Mrs. Cartman, let me get this straight.

You say the government... took your child?

Eric was very sick.

The doctor said he only had

another six or seven weeks to live.

And these people said they could help him

if they took him to Washington.

And they didn't invite you to go alone?

Seems a little farfetched.

It was all so confusing.

They said it was about national security.

I've been getting updates and emails,

but I don't even know what to believe anymore.

Detective Harris, sir,

we need to get down to the school right away.

What's the matter?

There's a young boy there, sir.

Appears he's been molested by Totoro.

-Holy shit! -Sorry, Mrs. Cartman.

We'll look into it for you when we can.

But what about Eric?

All right, kid, you wanna tell me what happened?

I don't know nuttin'!

We've seen the video, kid.

How long have you and Totoro been sexually active?

What?

I don't know nuttin'!

Look, that forest-dwelling piece of shit

is just gonna keep doing this to kids

unless you talk to us.

I wanna know where you met Totoro,

and I want a description of his penis.

Sir, you better come take a look at this.

What is it?

There's another young student here at this school

that appears to have just been raped by Popeye.

-Popeye? -That son of a bitch!

I don't know nuttin'!

Huh, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck.

Oh-ho, whoa! Yuck...

Jesus Christ.

Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, oh...

-Oh, my God! -What the hell is going on here?

We think Totoro and Popeye might somehow

be working together, sir.

This all has to be connected.

A string of rapes, the missing Cartman boy...

South Park's going to shit right before our eyes.

Sir?

There's something very wrong going on here, Mitch,

and I'm gonna find out what.

Boss,

please don't be mad at me.

Everything I did...

I did for you.

You were manipulating me.

This whole time, you've been trying to get me

to get rid of Satan's baby.

Yes, because I know you want to get rid of the baby, boss.

I was just trying to help you.

I would do anything for you.

You...

are the greatest boss

I ever had.

And I just want you to be happy.

Of course I don't want the baby,

but everyone's so excited.

I can't get out of it.

I have a guy, boss.

He's in Colorado right now.

He is an expert in all of this.

Nobody's here to embarrass you, all right son?

We just wanna know what happened between you and Popeye.

You can't tell 'em the girls did it to you

'cause you helped me or they're gonna know

we did it to them first!

We don't know nothing!

Did Totoro tell you to say that?

You don't need to protect these scumbags.

Sir, there's a Studio Ghibli here

that wants to talk to the kid.

What's s Studio Ghibli?

Some Japanese guys, say they represent Totoro.

You!

You fuck Totoro!

Totoro is Studio Ghibli IP!

Ah, Totoro's already got some lawyers, huh?

It takes hundreds of artists

three years to make Totoro!

And in two minutes

you spit out you shit

and fuck Totoro!

Studio Ghibli no sakuhin!

What?

All right, I can't understand a word anyone here is saying.

You stop!

This is a "shi-shu" and "deshishto!"

"Shi-shu" and "deshishto!"

Mitch, get 'em outta here!

Shimatta!

Totoro no meiyo ga kegasareta!

You cannot just do whatever you want

with someone else's IP!

-Yo, what's up, Mom? -It's your boy, Eric,

live from Washington, D.C. Day one, baby.

Look, that's a big pointy thing...

uh, the Washington Monument.

Whole reflection pool's right there.

It's like a giant bathtub, but with ducks.

Everything's great. Promise.

Hey, Mom, it's me. Just want you to know

I am totally safe and in no danger whatsoever.

Dude, there's a castle at the end of the street

and everyone smells like popcorn.

This is unreal, forever.

Just want to let everyone know I'm safe and sound.

No, kitty, that's my pot pie!

I love Cheesy Poofs and...

Rawr! Respect my authority! Bye!

Oh, Eric,

Mommy misses you.

"A boy from South Park

"tells his mom he's doing good

and he'll be home soon."

Hey, dude, fuck you.

That is totally not cool, what you're doing.

"The boy is fat

and authoritative."

Hey, Mom, things are good here.

I love Cheesy Poofs!

I'm just stoked to be feeling better,

and I'll be home soon. Respect my authority!

Bro, everyone's gonna know that's not really me.

I haven't even talked about Cheesy Poofs

in, like, five years.

You shut up!

We'll be going to Washington soon,

and then you're gonna help me

stop the antichrist from being born.

And we're gonna save the world.

Not for free, dude!

If you wanna use me, then you gotta pay a motherfucker.

You don't get to make me go do a bunch of weird shit

that I would normally never do.

It's the world you live in, kid.

Anyone can make you do anything they want.

No, kitty, that's my authority!

Pot pie!

-I word really hard. -You know?

I just feel like I deserve to relax a bit, guy.

Of course you do, boss.

This baby is too much for you.

I tried abortion clinics, Plan B,

but this baby just won't die!

And that is how my guy in Colorado can help us, boss.

Only he can stop the antichrist.

If we bring him here, to Washington, then we can...

What are you guys doing?

Hey, relax, guy!

We're having an important meeting!

What are you talking about?

It's government stuff, Satan.

OK, so I guess I'm going to the pediatrician

by myself again.

Hey, relax, guy!

We have to do this.

You're such a piece of shit.

-You see? -Always bitching at me.

I should be treated better than that.

Yes, boss, you should.

That's why you need to trust me.

Nobody feels for you the way that I do.

Nobody, boss.

Hey, Red, can we talk to you?

Sure, Kyle.

I'm here to help Butters try to call a truce.

What kind of truce?

It's just all this Sora stuff is kinda getting out of hand.

I know Butters started it,

so then you guys made one of him,

but then you guys made one of Kenny,

and I just think we all need to respect each other more.

-You know what? -You're right, Kyle.

You're really a smart guy.

-Thanks, Red. -I feel like a smart guy.

It's 'cause I'm a Jew.

Excuse me, is your name Kyle?

Oh, wow, it's Droopy Dog!

-Hey, Droopy Dog. -Yeah, I'm Kyle.

You know what?

I'm gonna take a shit in your mouth.

Oh, no, Droopy Dog, don't shit in my mouth!

Bad dog!

Here it comes.

You like that, you dumb Jew?

-Dude, what the hell? -You see?

The girls did one about you now.

What the hell did I do?

It don't matter, I told you!

Red's just a bitch.

You like that hot shit in your Jew mouth?

I mean, you got to admit it's pretty impressive.

It looks really real.

-It's not impressive! -It's fucked up.

How is this even legal?

Nothing's sacred, Kyle.

All you can do is fight fire with fire.

Well, then let's see how Red likes it

when we make one of her and Bluey.

Yeah!

We've had 12 new cases in the past 14 hours,

and you're telling me we can't get one kid to testify?

None of the kids will talk, sir.

We're running out of time here, people.

These predators are all gonna start lawyering up

like Totoro did.

We're not lawyer!

Studio Ghibli make Totoro

with pencil and paint,

not by typing sentence on stupid Sora app!

Nobody can understand anything you're saying,

so I don't know what to tell you, buddy.

We're just getting no cooperation.

Every kid we interview, we get the same thing.

"That's not me. Someone else did that."

That's the South Park we're living in, Mitch.

Kids won't talk to a cop,

but they'll do anything Rocky and Bullwinkle tell 'em to do.

That's it.

We gotta go undercover as a couple of these predators

and gain a little kid's trust.

Yeah. What's going on?

Everything is OK.

We have Trump's approval now.

The president knows of our plans?

Yes.

He and I are on the same page.

What's he say?

But we cannot proceed just yet.

Can you keep the child on ice a little longer?

No problem... with Sora 2,

I can make the South Park kid do just about anything.

Dude, fuck you.

That is so lame.

But boss, what about Satan?

♪ I want to know what love is ♪

Oh, boss, it's so big.

♪ I want to feel what love is ♪

♪ I know you can show me ♪

Oh, boss!

Boss!

Yes, boss!

Yes, boss!

How much longer we gotta do this shit, Mitch?

You remember when things made sense?

You put your time in. You did the work.

But now this stuff we're seeing,

it's like someone shook the snow globe and said,

"Here you go, make sense of this."

I don't understand it much either, sir.

Maybe we're just too old.

We used to go after normal criminals.

But now the criminals have faces that can just start

turning into oranges that eat other oranges.

That's when you realize

maybe the job doesn't need you anymore.

-Hey, look. -Kid's coming out.

Let's do this.

Hey there, little girl. It's Rocky and Bullwinkle.

You looking for a good time?

The South Park Police Department had to go undercover

in order to finally get to the truth in this case.

And what the evidence will show

is that an innocent girl was humiliated

by the actions of these boys.

All right, little girl, you say the boys just used you.

Is that right?

That's right.

They made me do things I would normally never do.

Exactly what kinds of things?

They made me go to the bathroom

in a very, very bad place.

And did the suspects offer you

any kind of compensation?

I didn't make one cent!

What the hell is going on?

They're turning the kids into the victims?

This whole thing stinks!

Why don't you go fuck yourself, Bluey?

Order! Order!

My client has been misrepresented,

and these boys are going to jail!

It wasn't their fault, all right?

It's all my fault!

This all started with me,

because my heart was broken.

I made the first videos using Sora 2.

I saw the ones Eric Cartman made

to get out of going to school, and I thought

I could make these about Red 'cause the bitch deserves it.

But it was just me.

Wait, you're saying that the Eric Cartman videos

are all being created by someone

to distort the truth?

That's gotta be Totoro!

Trace the IP address, and let's get the son of a bitch!

Ah!

Freeze!

We got the kid, sir.

You're making a big mistake.

I have powerful connections.

Oh, I know you do.

But no magical Catbus is gonna

whisk you away from justice this time.

Mom!

Oh, Eric, you're safe!

How the hell did it take you this long

to figure out those videos of me were fake?

Oh, well, they looked so real, sweetie.

When is the last time I even ate a pot pie, you dumb bitch?

Get him out of here.

Lock him up with the Japanese lawyers.

Well, Mitch, looks like we just busted a huge community

of online rapists called Sora 2.

Great job, sir.

Detective Harris, you better take a look at this.

This guy didn't just make videos.

He also has surveillance equipment

all over the White House.

-White House? -Yeah.

He's got this video of the president

in the Lincoln Bedroom.

Oh, boss!

Boss!

-Jesus Christ. -Yes, boss!

Yes, boss!

Oh, my God, what the hell is going on here?

Oh, boy.

When Fox News sees this, they are not gonna be happy.

This is a... Fox News...

special alert.

Some, uh, very troubling news from the White House today.

Apparently, a security camera in the Lincoln Bedroom

has caught President Trump having... relations

with Vice President Vance.

Fox News is live at the White House.

Yeah, hey.

Definitely disheartening news here.

Why the president would do this to Satan

with a baby on the way, we don't know.

Guess it's anyone's guess why...

Sorry, sorry, we gotta interrupt you there.

Uh, we just got word that the president is

calling in to "Fox & Friends."

Are you there, sir?

Hello? Hi? Hello?

Yes. Mr. President, what is going on?

Oh, we're doing some great things here.

More than Sleepy Joe Biden ever did!

Everything's great!

Well, what about you and the vice president?

Hey, relax, guy!

We're trying to relax, sir,

but we've all seen the security footage.

No, that's fake!

That's all... it's all Sora 2.

It's fake?

Yeah, guy, that's all Sora 2!

That's all fake!

-Oh, it's fake! -Oh, thank God!

-Of course it was fake. -How could we have doubted it?

This is a Fox News fake news alert.

Totally fake news today

as the president did not have sex with the vice president.

You swear on everything that video was fake.

Of course it's fake, Satan!

OK, 'cause it looks really real.

Satan, I swear on the baby.

I wouldn't do that to you.

Relax, guy.

-OK. -Great.

Well, I gotta go get a snack.

You want anything from downstairs?

No, I'm good.

All right, what's the situation?

The detective in Colorado is very stubborn, boss.

He will not give us Peter Thiel.

How can he not hand him over?

I'm the president!

Don't worry, boss.

We will not let that town get in the way

of our plans together.