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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:09,742 PREVIOUSLY ON THE BIG C... 2 00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:12,144 I'VE RETURNED WITH A NEW RESPECT FOR MY AFRICAN ROOTS, 3 00:00:12,145 --> 00:00:14,880 SO FROM NOW ON, I WANT YOU ALL TO CALL ME ABABUO. 4 00:00:14,881 --> 00:00:16,882 WHILE YOU WERE GONE, DAD HAD A HEART ATTACK 5 00:00:16,883 --> 00:00:18,017 AND DIED FOR A LITTLE WHILE. 6 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,518 I AM A BLOGGER. 7 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:22,021 I FEEL THE NEED TO WRITE IT ALL DOWN WHILE IT'S STILL FRESH. 8 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,256 I MEAN, I SAW THE LIGHT. 9 00:00:24,257 --> 00:00:25,591 THIS IS YOUR KEY FOB. 10 00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:26,725 THE LIGHTNING BOLT SHOCKS 11 00:00:26,726 --> 00:00:28,394 YOUR HEART BACK INTO A REGULAR RHYTHM. 12 00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:29,895 KEEP IT WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES. 13 00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:32,164 THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH YOUR LONDON PUB 14 00:00:32,165 --> 00:00:34,066 IS THAT THERE'S JUST NOT ENOUGH LONDONERS IN IT. 15 00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:35,567 ARE WE GOING TO SEE YOU TOMORROW, ALEXIS? 16 00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:36,902 MOST LIKELY. 17 00:00:36,903 --> 00:00:37,903 I GOTTA GET A JOB AND MAKE SOME MONEY 18 00:00:37,904 --> 00:00:39,071 AND TURN MY HEAT ON. 19 00:00:39,072 --> 00:00:40,572 CLEARLY THE MEDS ARE TALKING. 20 00:00:40,573 --> 00:00:42,274 I'LL KEEP MY EARS OPEN. 21 00:00:42,275 --> 00:00:43,575 THERE MIGHT BE SOMETHING AT THE SCHOOL. 22 00:00:43,576 --> 00:00:45,778 - CATHY JAMISON? - GOOD LUCK. 23 00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:48,280 DO YOU THINK PRAYING REALLY DOES ANYTHING? 24 00:00:48,281 --> 00:00:49,381 THE BIBLE SAYS IT DOES. 25 00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:50,949 YOUR TUMORS ARE CONTINUING TO SHRINK. 26 00:00:50,950 --> 00:00:53,085 SOME OF THEM DISAPPEARED. 27 00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:54,620 THAT'S GREAT. HELL, YEAH! 28 00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:57,657 SHH. 29 00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:10,469 ♪ IT'S SO HARD ♪ 30 00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:15,475 ♪ TO TURN YOUR LIFE OVER ♪ 31 00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:19,211 ♪ STEP OUT ♪ 32 00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:23,950 ♪ OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE ♪ 33 00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:29,688 ♪ IS THIS SOME KIND OF A JOKE? ♪ 34 00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:34,526 ♪ WILL SOMEONE WAKE ME UP SOON? ♪ 35 00:01:34,527 --> 00:01:39,865 ♪ AND TELL ME THIS WAS JUST A GAME WE PLAY ♪ 36 00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:45,038 ♪ CALLED LIFE ♪ 37 00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:58,150 HEY. 38 00:01:58,151 --> 00:02:01,253 YOU HAD A FUCKING AFFAIR? 39 00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:02,254 WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT? 40 00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:04,623 I DIDN'T HEAR IT ANYWHERE. 41 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:07,292 I READ IT ON DAD'S BLOG. - WHAT? 42 00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:10,262 CANCER, HEART ATTACKS, AND NOW AN AFFAIR? 43 00:02:10,263 --> 00:02:11,663 IT'S LIKE YOU GUYS ARE LOOKING FOR WAYS 44 00:02:11,664 --> 00:02:12,998 TO MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE. - ADAM, WAIT ONE SECOND. 45 00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:15,234 NO, NO, NO, NO. WITH ALL THE LECTURES 46 00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:17,936 AND HOLIER-THAN-THOU BULLSHIT, I'M DONE LISTENING TO YOU. 47 00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:19,671 YOU'RE A FUCKING HYPOCRITE. - ADAM! 48 00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:20,839 WAIT ONE MINUTE. 49 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:22,674 CHECK THIS OUT! 50 00:02:22,675 --> 00:02:26,845 MY LATEST BLOG POST GOT 59 PAGE VIEWS. 51 00:02:26,846 --> 00:02:29,348 THAT'S 30 MORE THAN THE LAST ONE. 52 00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:30,983 YEAH, BUT YOUR SON IS ONE OF THEM. 53 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,851 HE KNOWS ABOUT MY AFFAIR. 54 00:02:32,852 --> 00:02:35,654 HE READ ABOUT IT ON YOUR BLOG! 55 00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,789 HOLY SHIT, ADAM SAW THE BLOG? 56 00:02:37,790 --> 00:02:42,494 IT'S ON THE INTERNET, PAUL. 57 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:46,732 EVERYONE CAN SEE IT. 58 00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:48,167 OH, HONEY, I'M SO SORRY. 59 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:51,837 I GUESS I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE PEOPLE I WAS WRITING FOR, 60 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,305 YOU KNOW, OTHER ADULTS, 61 00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:55,007 MYSELF, HONESTLY. 62 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,909 I SWEAR, EVER SINCE THE OPERATION, 63 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,177 I HAVEN'T BEEN THINKING STRAIGHT. 64 00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,578 YOU KNOW, YESTERDAY I MADE MYSELF A CUP OF TEA. 65 00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:00,846 I DON'T DRINK TEA. 66 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,915 AND--AND I CAN'T SEEM TO EAT ENOUGH BANANAS. 67 00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:03,982 I MEAN, WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT? 68 00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:05,050 DO YOU THINK THAT THEY PUT A-- 69 00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:06,251 A BABOON HEART IN ME OR SOMETHING? 70 00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:07,986 OKAY, HOW ARE WE GOING TO HANDLE THIS? 71 00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:09,621 HOW ARE WE GOING TO EXPLAIN THAT TO HIM-- 72 00:03:09,622 --> 00:03:13,158 THAT BOTH HIS PARENTS HAD AFFAIRS? 73 00:03:13,159 --> 00:03:14,726 WELL, I DIDN'T GET TO MY AFFAIR YET. 74 00:03:14,727 --> 00:03:17,429 ONLY BECAUSE YOURS COMES FIRST CHRONOLOGICALLY. 75 00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:18,964 I MEAN, I WAS GOING TO GET TO MINE, 76 00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:21,233 BUT MAYBE WE SHOULD SKIP IT. 77 00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:24,903 WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SKIP ALL OF IT? 78 00:03:24,904 --> 00:03:27,072 I'M TELLING MY STORY, CATH. 79 00:03:27,073 --> 00:03:28,273 I MEAN, YOU KNOW, 80 00:03:28,274 --> 00:03:29,575 IT'S INCREDIBLY CATHARTIC FOR ME. 81 00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,143 PEOPLE SEEM TO LIKE HEARING ABOUT IT. 82 00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:33,378 YOU KNOW, HOW I SAW THE LIGHT AND THE DETAILS 83 00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:35,347 OF MY NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE, 84 00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:38,116 AND I CAN'T REALLY DO THAT WITHOUT EXPLAINING 85 00:03:38,117 --> 00:03:39,418 ABOUT WHAT CAME BEFORE. 86 00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:41,019 YOU KNOW, LIKE YOUR CANCER AND-- 87 00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:42,187 AND YOUR LENNY. 88 00:03:42,188 --> 00:03:44,389 OH, SO--SO I CAUSED YOUR HEART ATTACK? 89 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,558 NO, LIFE DID. 90 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,393 AND YOU ARE PART OF MY LIFE. 91 00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,896 AND BY THE WAY, YOU KNOW, THERE ARE SOME VERY NICE THINGS 92 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,864 ABOUT YOU ON THE BLOG, SWEETIE. 93 00:03:52,865 --> 00:03:54,199 WAIT. 94 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,201 YOU HAVEN'T BEEN READING MY BLOG. 95 00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:58,370 SO NOT THE TIME, PAUL. 96 00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:00,205 YOU'RE RIGHT. 97 00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:02,040 WHY DON'T I TAKE DOWN THAT POST? 98 00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:05,078 YEAH, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE DOWN THAT BLOG POST? 99 00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,952 HEY. 100 00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:15,320 UH, I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT, YOU KNOW, 101 00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:16,588 TAKING A SNOWMOBILE SAFETY CLASS. 102 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:17,723 THAT MIGHT BE FUN. 103 00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:18,924 DON'T YOU HAVE TO HAVE 104 00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:21,059 A SNOWMOBILE BEFORE YOU CAN BE SAFE ON ONE? 105 00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:22,861 MAYBE I'LL GET ONE. I DON'T KNOW. 106 00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:24,229 YOU'RE ALL INTO THIS AFRICA STUFF. 107 00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:26,031 MAYBE SNOWMOBILING IS MY NEW HOBBY. 108 00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:27,065 THIS AIN'T NO HOBBY. 109 00:04:27,066 --> 00:04:28,867 THIS IS MY CULTURE, BITCH. 110 00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:31,637 B.S.A.? WHAT IS THAT? 111 00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:33,171 BLACK STUDENT ASSOCIATION. 112 00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:34,706 THE SCHOOL DROPPED IT A FEW YEARS AGO 113 00:04:34,707 --> 00:04:36,174 DUE TO LACK OF INTEREST. 114 00:04:36,175 --> 00:04:38,277 CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT? I'M STARTING IT BACK UP. 115 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,413 WOW, YOU'RE REALLY INTO THIS AFRICA STUFF, AREN'T YOU? 116 00:04:41,414 --> 00:04:42,648 WHEN YOU SPEND ALL YOUR TIME 117 00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:44,983 IN A SCHOOL AS WHITE AS A MINNESOTA WINTER, 118 00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:46,785 IT'S NICE TO FEEL LIKE YOU'RE PART OF SOMETHING 119 00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:50,455 WITH PEOPLE THAT GET WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM. 120 00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:52,190 YEAH, WELL, UH, SEE YOU LATER, ABABUO. 121 00:04:52,191 --> 00:04:54,326 YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON TO CALL ME THAT 122 00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:56,963 WITHOUT ME HAVING TO KICK THEIR ASS. 123 00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:20,686 HEY. 124 00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:22,721 HOW'S THE JOB, WORKING MAN? 125 00:05:22,722 --> 00:05:24,423 IT'S THANKLESS AND UNFULFILLING, 126 00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:26,425 BUT, HEY, AT LEAST NO ONE RESPECTS ME. 127 00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:27,526 WHAT IS ALL THIS STUFF? 128 00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:29,728 YOU LOOK LIKE A HOMELESS JANITOR. 129 00:05:29,729 --> 00:05:31,196 THESE ARE THE TOOLS OF MY TRADE. 130 00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:33,699 DRY MOP, GUM SCRAPER, VOMIT POWDER. 131 00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,300 FYI, THAT'S FOR COVERING UP THE SMELL, 132 00:05:35,301 --> 00:05:37,769 NOT MAKING YOUR OWN FROM SCRATCH, AND THIS-- 133 00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:39,304 THIS IS JUST FOUND MONEY. 134 00:05:39,305 --> 00:05:42,274 YOU KNOW, YOU'D BE AMAZED AT THE PERFECTLY WONDERFUL STUFF 135 00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:44,209 PEOPLE JUST THROW AWAY AROUND HERE. 136 00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:45,477 YOU KNOW, AS-- AS PROUD AS I AM 137 00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:46,845 THAT YOU-- THAT YOU HAVE A JOB 138 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:49,214 AND YOU'RE ENJOYING THE DISGUSTING FRUITS OF YOUR LABOR, 139 00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:50,849 HERE'S THE THING. YOU HAVE TO GET A HOME PHONE. 140 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,217 OH, NO. NO, NO. 141 00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:53,585 NO, I'M GETTING ALL OF YOUR WORK CALLS AT MY HOUSE. 142 00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:55,854 A PHONE--IT'S JUST-- IT'S A LITTLE TOO 143 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:56,855 "ON THE GRID" FOR ME, CATH. 144 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:59,424 - SEAN. - IT'S A SLIPPERY SLOPE. 145 00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:01,693 YOU KNOW, TODAY I'M GETTING A JOB AND A PHONE. 146 00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:03,562 TOMORROW I'M ON THE INTERNET. 147 00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:06,431 BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, I'M-- I'M E-FILING MY TAXES 148 00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:08,433 AND TWEETING PICTURES OF MY TAINT 149 00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:10,769 TO VILLAGERS IN ASS-GHANISTAN. 150 00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:13,905 HOW ABOUT, AS A THANK-YOU 151 00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:16,908 TO ME FOR SUPPORTING YOU, GIVING YOU A HOME, 152 00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:18,810 AND GETTING YOU A JOB, YOU DO A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR ME? 153 00:06:18,811 --> 00:06:21,012 SOMETHING LIKE, OH, I DON'T KNOW... 154 00:06:21,013 --> 00:06:22,314 GET A PHONE. 155 00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:25,050 I HATE IT WHEN YOU TREAT ME LIKE AN IMMATURE CHILD. 156 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:28,087 IF WE WEREN'T AT SCHOOL, I'D FART IN YOUR MOUTH. 157 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:33,558 ADAM. 158 00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:34,559 ADAM JAMISON, 159 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,897 I'M TALKING TO YOU. 160 00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:45,804 IS THIS YOURS? ARE YOU-- 161 00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:48,206 ARE YOU GOING TO A BIBLE GROUP? - SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? 162 00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:49,908 I'M THINKING ABOUT CHECKING OUT A BIBLE GROUP, 163 00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:51,977 AND YOU HAD SEX WITH A GUY WHO WASN'T DAD, 164 00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,445 AND YOU'RE JUDGING ME? 165 00:06:53,446 --> 00:06:54,813 MAYBE YOU NEED TO FIND A BIBLE, AND YOU CAN BONE UP 166 00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:56,648 ON THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT, THE "HONOR THY MOTHER" ONE. 167 00:06:56,649 --> 00:06:58,550 YEAH, AND WHILE I'M AT IT, I'LL HIGHLIGHT THE ONES 168 00:06:58,551 --> 00:07:02,554 ABOUT ADULTERY AND LYING FOR YOU. 169 00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:05,123 ADAM, I'M-- 170 00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:10,029 HEY, MRS. J. 171 00:07:25,678 --> 00:07:27,646 - OH, HEY, ADAM. - WHAT'S UP? 172 00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:29,481 WHAT'S UP, MAN? ARE YOU COMING IN, OR-- 173 00:07:29,482 --> 00:07:33,084 UH, YOU KNOW, I WAS-- I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT, BUT-- 174 00:07:33,085 --> 00:07:34,886 OH, YEAH. NO, YOU TOTALLY SHOULD, MAN. 175 00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:37,456 IT WOULD BE GOOD TO HAVE ANOTHER HOCKEY DUDE IN THE GROUP. 176 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,725 LOOK, I WAS TOTALLY AFRAID IT WAS GOING TO BE ALL 177 00:07:40,726 --> 00:07:42,060 "HOLY SPIRIT, HALLELUJAH, 178 00:07:42,061 --> 00:07:44,095 PRAISE JESUS," ALL THAT SHIT. - OH, YEAH? 179 00:07:44,096 --> 00:07:45,630 IT'S ACTUALLY TOTALLY COOL. 180 00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:49,301 AWESOME, YEAH. 181 00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:03,148 FRIENDLY HEADS-UP-- THE SANDWICHES ARE AWESOME, 182 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:04,983 BUT STAY AWAY FROM THE VEGGIE DIP. 183 00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:07,419 THIS PLACE IS LOUSY WITH DOUBLE-DIPPERS. 184 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,488 SO IT'S LIKE A VEGGIE AND SALIVA DIP? 185 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,289 TOTALLY. I'M JESSE. 186 00:08:11,290 --> 00:08:13,625 - ADAM. - COME ON, GUYS. 187 00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:15,093 GUYS, LET'S GET STARTED. 188 00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:16,261 HEY, EVERYONE. THIS IS ADAM. 189 00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:18,163 ADAM, THIS IS EVERYONE. 190 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,364 HEY, WHAT'S UP? 191 00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:20,732 - WHAT'S UP, ADAM? - HEY, ADAM. 192 00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:22,133 JUST CAUGHT HIM DOUBLE DIPPING IN THE VEGGIE DIP. 193 00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:23,768 OOH. 194 00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:24,903 NICE. 195 00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:27,672 OKAY, UM, ALL RIGHT. SO, ADAM, 196 00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:29,808 WHAT'S YOUR STORY? 197 00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:32,677 UH, I THINK EVERYONE ALREADY KIND OF KNOWS IT. 198 00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:33,979 MY MOM HAS CANCER. 199 00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:36,381 MY DAD IS RECOVERING FROM A HEART ATTACK. 200 00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:38,517 THAT AND ALL THIS SCHOOL BULLSHIT, YOU KNOW? 201 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,152 SORRY. - OH, NO, NO. 202 00:08:41,153 --> 00:08:43,021 IT'S FINE, MAN. I MEAN, I HAVE A FEELING 203 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:45,323 THAT WHEN JESUS WAS GETTING NAILED TO THE CROSS, 204 00:08:45,324 --> 00:08:46,658 HE MAY HAVE LET A FEW "MOTHERFUCKERS" FLY. 205 00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:48,493 YOU KNOW? 206 00:08:48,494 --> 00:08:50,762 BUT, UM, NO. IT'S GOOD TO HAVE YOU, ADAM. 207 00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:52,697 YOU KNOW, THIS IS JUST A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN BE YOURSELF. 208 00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:55,033 YOU CAN SHARE YOUR PROBLEMS. YOU CAN VENT. 209 00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:56,601 YOU CAN SCREAM IF YOU WANT TO. 210 00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:58,036 I MEAN, WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN CRAZY STUFF GOING ON, RIGHT? 211 00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,071 - MM-HMM. - AND, UH... 212 00:09:00,072 --> 00:09:02,140 I MEAN, WE'RE JUST HERE TO FIND OUR SANITY. 213 00:09:02,141 --> 00:09:04,409 YOU KNOW? OR-- OR OUR HIGHER POWER 214 00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:07,479 OR THAT CALM AMONG THE CHAOS. 215 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,880 SO THERE'S JUST-- THERE'S NO JUDGMENTS. 216 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,849 SWEET. 217 00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:12,684 WE DO OCCASIONALLY MAKE FUN OF MORGAN'S HAIR, 218 00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:13,685 BUT, I MEAN, BESIDES THAT, 219 00:09:13,686 --> 00:09:14,853 NOTHING. 220 00:09:17,857 --> 00:09:20,225 GET IN THERE. 221 00:09:25,097 --> 00:09:26,798 WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM? 222 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:28,466 OH, THERE'S A STORAGE CLOSET 223 00:09:28,467 --> 00:09:29,968 AT THE SCHOOL FULL OF THIS CRAP. 224 00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:31,403 CATHY WANTS ME ON THE GRID, 225 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,573 I WILL DO IT MY WAY. 226 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,542 AH, YES, THE SOUND OF MY SOUL DYING A LITTLE BIT. 227 00:09:37,543 --> 00:09:40,078 HEY, WHICH OF THESE SAYS 228 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,080 "BLACK POWER"? 229 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:44,249 UM, WELL, THEY ALL DO ACTUALLY. 230 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,918 HERE, YOU JUST, UH-- YOU JUST HAVE TO LEARN 231 00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:48,853 HOW TO WRAP THESE THE RIGHT WAY. 232 00:09:48,854 --> 00:09:50,922 COME HERE. SIT DOWN. 233 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,490 ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? 234 00:09:52,491 --> 00:09:54,960 YOU KNOW HOW TO WRAP AN AFRICAN HEAD SCARF? 235 00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:59,197 YEAH, I, UH--I DATED A NIGERIAN CHICK IN COLLEGE, 236 00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:00,465 AND WE MADE A DEAL. 237 00:10:00,466 --> 00:10:02,534 IF I LEARNED HOW TO TIE HER SCARF, 238 00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:05,337 SHE WOULD GO FULL BUSH, NO TRIMMING. 239 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,673 UGH, YOU SEE, HERE'S MY PROBLEM. 240 00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:10,375 NO ONE HAS THIS NUMBER YET. 241 00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:12,911 FUCKING TELEMARKETERS. 242 00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:14,479 HELLO. 243 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:18,650 NO. THERE'S NO WILLY HERE. 244 00:10:18,651 --> 00:10:22,354 TOTAL PAIN IN THE ASS. 245 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:27,759 HELLO? 246 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,463 NO. NO, BUDDY. YOU GOT THE WRONG NUMBER. 247 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:38,403 NO, THIS ISN'T WILLY. 248 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,942 - WHAT? - SUCK MY COCK. 249 00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:46,778 COME ON, WILLY, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. 250 00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:48,813 YOU GOT A NAUGHTY-ASS PHONE. 251 00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:51,249 PROBABLY JUST SOME STUPID KIDS. 252 00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:54,786 ALL RIGHT, ABABUO, THERE YOU GO. 253 00:10:54,787 --> 00:10:55,920 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 254 00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:58,657 DAMN, DUDE. THIS IS AWESOME. 255 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,393 I HOPE YOUR NIGERIAN GIRLFRIEND LIVED UP TO HER END OF THE DEAL. 256 00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:02,794 OH, YEAH. 257 00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:05,430 IT WAS LIKE SHE WAS SMUGGLING DIANA ROSS IN HER PANTIES. 258 00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:08,433 UGH. 259 00:11:16,142 --> 00:11:19,544 I WANT YOU TO TELL ADAM THAT YOU HAD AN AFFAIR. 260 00:11:19,545 --> 00:11:21,379 WHAT? WHY, HONEY? 261 00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:23,481 I THOUGHT WE AGREED THAT IT WAS BETTER 262 00:11:23,482 --> 00:11:24,816 IF ADAM DIDN'T KNOW THAT KIND OF STUFF. 263 00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:26,918 YOU'RE THE ONE WHO BROUGHT US DOWN THIS ROAD. 264 00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:28,820 HE HAS NOT SPOKEN TO ME SINCE HE FOUND OUT MY AFFAIR, 265 00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:30,355 AND I AM TIRED OF BEING THE BAD GUY. 266 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:34,092 HE'S ON HIS WAY TO SCHOOL, SO TELL HIM BEFORE HE LEAVES. 267 00:11:34,093 --> 00:11:36,895 ADAM, YOUR FATHER HAS SOMETHING HE WANTS TO TELL YOU. 268 00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:38,530 - HEY, BUDDY. - HEY. 269 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,332 UM, HERE'S THE DEAL. 270 00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:44,202 UH, IT WAS WRONG OF ME TO... 271 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,671 POST ON MY BLOG ABOUT YOUR MOTHER'S AFFAIR. 272 00:11:46,672 --> 00:11:49,441 SHE'S ANGRY, AND RIGHTFULLY SO. 273 00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:52,510 BUT WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT IT, AND WE'VE MOVED ON. 274 00:11:52,511 --> 00:11:54,646 INCIDENTALLY, NEW HOUSE RULE: 275 00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:55,914 NOTHING PERSONAL GOES IN THE BLOG 276 00:11:55,915 --> 00:12:00,251 WITHOUT PRIOR FAMILY APPROVAL. 277 00:12:00,252 --> 00:12:03,288 AND... 278 00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:06,391 AND SHE IS NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD AN AFFAIR. 279 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:10,061 I CHEATED TOO. 280 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,229 OF COURSE. OF COURSE. 281 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:13,331 WHY NOT? WHY NOT? 282 00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:16,634 I KNOW, I KNOW, BUT IT WAS A CRAZY, MISGUIDED REACTION. 283 00:12:16,635 --> 00:12:19,671 OKAY? SORT OF A SEXUAL QUID PRO QUO. 284 00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:22,107 I DON'T KNOW WHAT ALL THIS SUDDEN HONESTY IS ABOUT, OKAY? 285 00:12:22,108 --> 00:12:23,508 I REALLY DON'T. 286 00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:25,210 BUT YOU WANT MY HONESTY? 287 00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:27,112 I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THIS SHIT. 288 00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:29,681 - ADAM. - WHAT, MOM? WHAT? 289 00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:30,715 DO YOU WANNA HUG IT OUT? 290 00:12:30,716 --> 00:12:31,750 YEAH, WE SHOULD TOTALLY HUG IT OUT. 291 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,118 COME HERE. LET'S HUG IT OUT. 292 00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:34,252 OH, YEAH, EVERYTHING'S BETTER. 293 00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:36,387 EVERYTHING'S BETTER. I FEEL GREAT. 294 00:12:36,388 --> 00:12:38,890 I FEEL GREAT. DO YOU GUYS FEEL GREAT? 295 00:12:38,891 --> 00:12:41,927 GOD. 296 00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:49,601 BRING IT. 297 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,336 BRING IT. 298 00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:53,404 HA, HA! 299 00:12:54,473 --> 00:12:56,107 OKAY. 300 00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:58,042 LET ME GIVE YOU SOME PROPS, 'CAUSE YOU ARE THE FIRST WOMAN 301 00:12:58,043 --> 00:13:00,211 WHO BEAT ME SINCE STURGIS IN 2005. 302 00:13:00,212 --> 00:13:01,579 AND THAT BITCH CHEATED, I'M TELLING YOU. 303 00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:04,649 YOU JUST CHALK IT UP TO ANGER. 304 00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:07,018 IT'S THE STEROID OF THE COMMON FOLK. 305 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,088 YO, KIRBY, ALEXIS' NEXT ROUND 306 00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:11,256 IS ON ME. 307 00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:13,324 AWW. 308 00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:16,261 YOU KNOW, I BET YOU'D BE GOOD AT ARM WRESTLING. 309 00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:20,198 ALL THAT ARTWORK ADDS AN ADDED ELEMENT OF INTIMIDATION. 310 00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:22,100 YOU LIKE MY MEMOIRS? 311 00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:25,837 OH. OH, I LOVE THAT YOU USED THE WORD "MEMOIRS." 312 00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:29,240 WHY DO PEOPLE GET TATTOOS? 313 00:13:29,241 --> 00:13:31,643 WELL, I'M NOT AUTHORIZED TO SPEAK FOR PEOPLE, 314 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,745 BUT EVERY ONE I GOT BEFORE I WAS 20 315 00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:34,779 WAS TO PISS MY MOTHER OFF. 316 00:13:34,780 --> 00:13:36,815 DID IT WORK? 317 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,817 I GUESS NOT. SHE STILL CALLS ME EVERY SUNDAY. 318 00:13:41,287 --> 00:13:43,288 OOH. OOH. 319 00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:45,490 OH, WOW, WHAT IS THAT ONE? 320 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:46,991 IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A GRIM REAPER, 321 00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:48,326 BUT THE GUY I SHARED A CELL WITH 322 00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,161 WAS A LITTLE LIGHT ON PROPER TATTOO SUPPLIES, 323 00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:53,198 SO IT KINDA LOOKS LIKE A CLOWN WITH A DROOPY PENIS. 324 00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:54,866 OH, YOU WERE IN PRISON. 325 00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:57,468 MY MOTHER WARNED ME ABOUT GUYS LIKE YOU. 326 00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,839 RELAX. I JUST ROBBED A LIQUOR STORE. 327 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,541 OH, SEE? 328 00:14:03,542 --> 00:14:06,110 THAT ALMOST MAKES YOU SOUND SOFT. 329 00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:07,445 YOU KNOW, YOU CAN GET THOSE THINGS REMOVED NOW. 330 00:14:07,446 --> 00:14:09,280 WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT? 331 00:14:09,281 --> 00:14:11,416 I'M PROUD OF 'EM. 332 00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:14,519 IT'S MY STORY. 333 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,556 YEAH. 334 00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:24,329 I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE. 335 00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:26,664 - WHERE YOU GOING? - I GOTTA GO TO SCHOOL. 336 00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:29,567 SCHOOL? 337 00:14:29,568 --> 00:14:31,736 YEAH. 338 00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:34,839 FLIGHT SCHOOL, REMEMBER? 339 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,241 AIRPLANE DRIVING. 340 00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:38,810 YEAH, I'M NOT SURE YOU'RE OKAY TO DRIVE. 341 00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:40,879 OH, NO, NO, NO. I'M FINE. 342 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,313 I'M OKAY, YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE I'M-- 343 00:14:42,314 --> 00:14:44,749 I'M NOT DRIVING--I'M NOT DRIVING THE ACTUAL PLANES. 344 00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:46,050 JUST THE SIMULATOR. 345 00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:47,385 YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SOBER TO DO THAT. 346 00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:50,722 RIGHT, BUT YOU DO HAVE TO BE SOBER TO DRIVE A CAR. 347 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:54,525 WHERE YOU GOING, ALEXIS? I CAN DROP YOU OFF. 348 00:14:54,526 --> 00:14:56,761 ABOUT A BLOCK AWAY FROM WEST HILL HIGH. 349 00:14:56,762 --> 00:14:57,862 YOU KNOW WHERE THAT IS? 350 00:14:57,863 --> 00:14:59,030 LET'S RIDE. 351 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:01,799 ♪ I MISS YOU ♪ 352 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,735 ♪ YEAH, I MISS YOU ♪ 353 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:07,405 COME ON, GIRL. 354 00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:09,140 - SO THIS IS IT, HUH? - SURE IS. 355 00:15:09,141 --> 00:15:10,308 THIS IS YOUR HOG? 356 00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:12,277 OH, SHE'S NO HOG. 357 00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:14,312 LOOKS A LITTLE TINY FOR A BIG OL' HOG. 358 00:15:14,313 --> 00:15:16,214 WELL, YOU KNOW, I LIKE SOMETHING THAT FITS SNUG 359 00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:17,949 UNDER MY ASS. 360 00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:19,450 ALL RIGHT, YOU READY? 361 00:15:19,451 --> 00:15:20,585 YEAH. HANG ON. 362 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:23,354 ♪ PHOTOGRAPH ♪ 363 00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:24,923 ♪ IS ALL I HAVE ♪ 364 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,025 ♪ PHOTOGRAPH ♪ 365 00:15:27,026 --> 00:15:28,726 ♪ IS ALL I HAVE ♪ 366 00:15:28,727 --> 00:15:30,595 ♪ PHOTOGRAPH ♪ 367 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,730 ♪ IS ALL I HAVE OF YOU ♪ 368 00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:34,465 ALL RIGHT, HANG ON. 369 00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:40,005 WHOO! 370 00:15:46,078 --> 00:15:48,780 HEY, WHAT'S UP, MY AFRICAN QUEEN? 371 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,214 OH, NOTHING. 372 00:15:50,215 --> 00:15:52,483 I JUST SPENT THE LAST TWO DAYS BUSTIN' MY ASS, 373 00:15:52,484 --> 00:15:54,819 HANGING UP FLYERS AND TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THIS WHOLE 374 00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:56,020 BLACK STUDENT ASSOCIATION, 375 00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:58,456 AND THIS IS THE RESPONSE I GET. 376 00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:00,158 YOU KNOW, I KNOW THAT THERE AREN'T A WHOLE LOT 377 00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:01,492 OF BLACK KIDS AT THIS SCHOOL, 378 00:16:01,493 --> 00:16:04,162 BUT I SURE AS HELL THOUGHT THAT OF THE 13 BLACK KIDS 379 00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:06,130 THAT DO GO HERE, THAT AT LEAST HALF OF THEM 380 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:09,167 WOULD HAVE SHOWED SOME GODDAMN INTEREST. 381 00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:12,136 TOTAL WASTE OF TIME. 382 00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:13,705 SO WHAT, YOU'RE JUST GONNA QUIT? 383 00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:15,006 AFTER ONE DAY? 384 00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:18,509 TO ME, THAT KIND OF LAZINESS AND LACK OF AMBITION 385 00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:20,011 JUST FEEDS A VERY OVERUSED 386 00:16:20,012 --> 00:16:22,981 AND VERY CLICHE BLACK STEREOTYPE. 387 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,315 OF COURSE, IT'S EASY FOR ME TO SAY. 388 00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,784 I'M A WHITE MAN REAPING ALL THE GLORIOUS BENEFITS 389 00:16:26,785 --> 00:16:30,254 OF A SYSTEM SKEWED IN MY FAVOR. 390 00:16:30,255 --> 00:16:32,825 AS-SALAAM-ALAIKUM. 391 00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:39,297 OH. 392 00:16:39,298 --> 00:16:41,032 UH, EXCUSE ME. 393 00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:42,500 LADIES, A MOMENT. 394 00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,202 UM, YEAH, I'M A JANITOR. 395 00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:46,537 MY ENTIRE JOB REVOLVES AROUND FILTH AND WASTE, 396 00:16:46,538 --> 00:16:47,805 AND I ACCEPT THAT. 397 00:16:47,806 --> 00:16:50,341 BUT, YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO VENT JUST FOR A SECOND. 398 00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,810 I LOVE YOUR GENDER, BUT AS TEENAGERS, 399 00:16:52,811 --> 00:16:54,312 YOU DISGUST ME, 400 00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:57,515 WITH YOUR CHIPPED NAIL POLISH ALL OVER THE FLOOR IN THERE, 401 00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,817 YOUR TAMPONS JAMMED IN THE TOILETS. 402 00:16:59,818 --> 00:17:02,387 AND ALTHOUGH YOU GUYS MIGHT THINK IT'S CUTE, 403 00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:03,888 THOSE LITTLE LIPSTICK KISSES YOU LEAVE 404 00:17:03,889 --> 00:17:05,223 ON THE MIRROR IN THERE 405 00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:08,126 ARE A PAIN IN MY MINIMUM-WAGE ASS. 406 00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:09,127 WEIRDO. 407 00:17:09,128 --> 00:17:10,161 ATTENTION. 408 00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:11,262 I WANT TO URGE MY FELLOW BLACK STUDENTS 409 00:17:11,263 --> 00:17:12,697 TO JOIN ME IN THE NEWLY REESTABLISHED 410 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,198 BLACK STUDENT ASSOCIATION. 411 00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:15,600 IT'S AN OPPORTUNITY-- - MISS JACKSON! 412 00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:17,702 STEP AWAY FROM THAT MICROPHONE RIGHT NOW. 413 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,637 OKAY, I GOT THE PRINCIPAL ALL UP IN MY GRILL. 414 00:17:19,638 --> 00:17:21,739 BUT JUST COME AND FIND ME. 415 00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:23,174 - GIVE ME THAT MICROPHONE. - UGH, COME ON, PEOPLE. 416 00:17:23,175 --> 00:17:24,675 HAVE SOME PRIDE! 417 00:17:24,676 --> 00:17:26,978 SHOW THIS SCHOOL THAT WE'RE MORE THAN JUST-- 418 00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:28,513 GOD DAMN IT, WE ARE THE 99%! 419 00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:31,049 BUT REALLY WE'RE THE 5%. 420 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,083 THIS IS WHY I NEED YOU. 421 00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:34,819 5%! 5%! 422 00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:36,921 TELL YOUR STORY IN DETENTION, ANDREA. 423 00:17:36,922 --> 00:17:39,490 IT'S ABABUO, DAMN IT. 424 00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:42,560 GO. 425 00:18:06,385 --> 00:18:08,019 I WANT TO TALK TO YOU. 426 00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:09,587 YOU MIGHT WANT TO TALK TO A MIRROR FIRST. 427 00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:11,923 YOU LOOK LIKE A FREAKIN' CRAZY WOMAN. 428 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,524 WELL, LOOK, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT I LOOK LIKE. 429 00:18:13,525 --> 00:18:16,727 LOOK, I AM TIRED OF YOU SHUTTING ME OUT. 430 00:18:16,728 --> 00:18:20,465 MOM. 431 00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:23,234 I HAD AN AFFAIR. 432 00:18:23,235 --> 00:18:25,503 IT WAS LAST SUMMER. IT LASTED A FEW WEEKS. 433 00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:26,704 IT WAS WITH LENNY, THE PAINTER. 434 00:18:26,705 --> 00:18:28,673 OKAY, YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S GREAT. 435 00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:29,674 FEEL BETTER? 436 00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:30,908 MAYBE WHEN I'M DONE. 437 00:18:30,909 --> 00:18:32,910 'CAUSE NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, 438 00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:33,911 I'M GONNA TELL YOU EVERYTHING. 439 00:18:33,912 --> 00:18:35,913 I'VE DONE DRUGS. 440 00:18:35,914 --> 00:18:38,116 WHEN I WAS 17, I SMOKED POT FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. 441 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,551 AND WHEN I WAS 19, I WAS ARRESTED 442 00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:42,286 FOR PEEING IN A PUBLIC PARK. 443 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:44,388 AND I'VE SHOPLIFTED. 444 00:18:44,389 --> 00:18:45,890 THERE WAS THIS GREAT PAIR OF GUESS JEANS. 445 00:18:45,891 --> 00:18:47,792 THEY WERE ALL THE RAGE. - MOM. STOP! 446 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,961 I GOT SO DRUNK AT MY COLLEGE ORIENTATION 447 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,596 THAT THEY HAD TO PUMP MY STOMACH, 448 00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:54,298 AND THAT WAS AFTER-- 449 00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:56,601 AFTER MY FRIENDS, THEY FOUND ME PASSED OUT 450 00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:57,902 IN THIS GUY'S BEDROOM, 451 00:18:57,903 --> 00:18:58,970 AND I-I--FOR THE LIFE OF ME, 452 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,371 I COULD NOT FIND MY BRA, 453 00:19:00,372 --> 00:19:02,940 AND THAT PRICK, HE GAVE ME SCABIES. 454 00:19:02,941 --> 00:19:04,642 AND I WAS SO STRESSED OUT 455 00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:05,977 FROM HAVING A RASH DOWN THERE 456 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,078 THAT I MISSED MY PERIOD. 457 00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:08,212 I TOTALLY THOUGHT I WAS PREGNANT. 458 00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:12,216 JUST FUCKING SHUT UP! 459 00:19:12,217 --> 00:19:15,253 I'VE MADE MISTAKES. 460 00:19:15,254 --> 00:19:18,156 I'M GONNA MAKE MORE. 461 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:21,193 WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE? 462 00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:31,802 ALL OF YOU ARE GONNA MAKE A SHITLOAD OF MISTAKES TOO. 463 00:19:31,803 --> 00:19:33,938 IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY! 464 00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:37,008 DUDE, IT'S TOTALLY FUNNY. 465 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,243 OKAY, ADAM, WE ALL KNOW YOU'RE GOING THROUGH A LOT, 466 00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:40,411 BUT YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN. 467 00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:42,046 FUCK OFF, INGVOLL. 468 00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:45,416 YOU JUST GOT DETENTION. 469 00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:46,817 AND MRS. JAMISON-- 470 00:19:46,818 --> 00:19:49,855 FUCK OFF, INGVOLL. 471 00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:05,069 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? 472 00:20:05,070 --> 00:20:08,172 RATHER NOT TALK ABOUT IT. 473 00:20:08,173 --> 00:20:10,575 HEARD YOU OVER THE INTERCOM. 474 00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:12,476 YOU HAVE A LOVELY SPEAKING VOICE. 475 00:20:12,477 --> 00:20:14,612 SHUT THE FUCK UP. 476 00:20:14,613 --> 00:20:17,148 PRINCIPAL SCHULER WENT CRAZY. 477 00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:18,349 I HAD TO DO SOMETHING. 478 00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:20,184 I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO GET PEOPLE INTERESTED 479 00:20:20,185 --> 00:20:21,519 IN MY BLACK STUDENT GROUP. 480 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,754 I'LL JOIN, IF IT HELPS. 481 00:20:23,755 --> 00:20:26,357 I'M PRETTY SURE HAVING A WHITE KID IN THE GROUP 482 00:20:26,358 --> 00:20:29,460 WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE. 483 00:20:29,461 --> 00:20:30,761 THESE GENTLEMEN WILL BE JOINING YOU 484 00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:32,597 FOR THE NEXT SIX WEEKS. 485 00:20:35,467 --> 00:20:37,802 OH, HELL NO. 486 00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:40,671 LOOK AT YOU FOOLS. 487 00:20:40,672 --> 00:20:42,773 DO YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE? 488 00:20:42,774 --> 00:20:44,809 THIS IS EXACTLY WHERE PEOPLE EXPECT YOU TO BE. 489 00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:47,111 DON'T BE WHERE PEOPLE EXPECT YOU TO BE. 490 00:20:47,112 --> 00:20:48,412 MISS JACKSON. 491 00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:49,547 MISS SCHULER, YOU CAN GIVE ME 492 00:20:49,548 --> 00:20:50,781 ANOTHER DETENTION OR WHATEVER, 493 00:20:50,782 --> 00:20:52,950 BUT RIGHT NOW, I NEED TO SAY SOME SHIT. 494 00:20:52,951 --> 00:20:54,685 NOW, I POSTED SIGNS. 495 00:20:54,686 --> 00:20:57,355 I'VE ASKED Y'ALL ASSES NICELY. 496 00:20:57,356 --> 00:20:59,523 I EVEN GOT OVER THE INTERCOM 497 00:20:59,524 --> 00:21:01,859 AND SCREAMED IT AND GOT IN DETENTION FOR IT. 498 00:21:01,860 --> 00:21:03,261 BUT I CAN'T GET THROUGH TO YOU. 499 00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,829 SO GUESS WHAT. 500 00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,430 WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GROUP MEETING RIGHT NOW. 501 00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:08,466 WE'RE PRACTICALLY A QUORUM ANYWAY. 502 00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:11,168 SO WELCOME TO THE BLACK STUDENT ASSOCIATION. 503 00:21:11,169 --> 00:21:12,970 AND I'VE CHANGED THE NAME OF THE GROUP. 504 00:21:12,971 --> 00:21:14,305 IT'S A.F.R.O.-- 505 00:21:14,306 --> 00:21:16,440 AFRICANS FOR REDISCOVERING OURSELVES. 506 00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:18,976 DO I HAVE Y'ALL ATTENTION? 507 00:21:18,977 --> 00:21:20,378 THIS IS NOT A MEETING. 508 00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:21,846 THIS IS DETENTION. 509 00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:23,514 SIT DOWN, ANDREA. 510 00:21:23,515 --> 00:21:27,351 IT'S ABABUO. 511 00:21:27,352 --> 00:21:30,555 FIST UP, FOOLS! 512 00:21:42,434 --> 00:21:44,001 WHAT? SHIT. WHAT? 513 00:21:44,002 --> 00:21:46,570 WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? 514 00:21:46,571 --> 00:21:49,040 HOPEFULLY, YOU'RE THE FUCK I'M LOOKING FOR. 515 00:21:49,041 --> 00:21:50,841 WHO IS THIS? 516 00:21:50,842 --> 00:21:52,076 COME ON, WILLY. 517 00:21:52,077 --> 00:21:54,578 DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME. 518 00:21:54,579 --> 00:21:57,248 UH, WELL, COULD YOU REMIND ME? 519 00:21:57,249 --> 00:21:59,717 IT'S ME, DAMIEN, SILLY WILLY. 520 00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:00,951 WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 521 00:22:00,952 --> 00:22:02,753 YOUR PHONE NUMBER HAS BEEN DISCNECTED FOR WEEKS. 522 00:22:02,754 --> 00:22:05,356 I CAN'T STAND BEING WILLY-DEPRIVED. 523 00:22:05,357 --> 00:22:07,758 AND YOU KNOW I DON'T PAY $4.99 A MINUTE 524 00:22:07,759 --> 00:22:09,527 TO JUST HAVE ANYONE LICK MY BALLS. 525 00:22:09,528 --> 00:22:12,463 UM, WELL, THE, UM, 526 00:22:12,464 --> 00:22:15,666 THE BUSINESS HAD SOME, UH, SOME ISSUES. 527 00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:19,770 BUT THE--THE PHONE IS NOW BACK UP AND-- 528 00:22:19,771 --> 00:22:20,838 AND RUNNING. 529 00:22:20,839 --> 00:22:22,373 THANK GOD! 530 00:22:22,374 --> 00:22:24,208 LISTEN, I'M GONNA GIVE YOU MY NEW CREDIT CARD NUMBER. 531 00:22:24,209 --> 00:22:26,210 IS THAT OKAY? 532 00:22:26,211 --> 00:22:28,846 YEAH, IT'S, UH-- IT'S EASIER ON MY END. 533 00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:31,415 OKAY, BUT I HOPE YOU'LL GO ANYTHING BUT EASY 534 00:22:31,416 --> 00:22:33,084 ON MY END. 535 00:22:34,586 --> 00:22:35,853 CLEVER, DAMIEN. 536 00:22:35,854 --> 00:22:38,622 UM, SO LET'S, UH, LET'S DO THIS. 537 00:22:38,623 --> 00:22:41,660 WILL THAT BE VISA OR AMERICAN EXPRESS? 538 00:22:44,229 --> 00:22:46,130 UH-HUH. 539 00:22:46,131 --> 00:22:49,200 YEAH. SEXY. 540 00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:52,103 I UNDERSTAND THAT THINGS AT HOME ARE STRESSFUL. 541 00:22:52,104 --> 00:22:53,337 I GET THAT. 542 00:22:53,338 --> 00:22:55,806 BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? 543 00:22:55,807 --> 00:22:57,108 THAT'S WHY THEY PAY YOU THE BIG BUCKS, CONNIE. 544 00:22:57,109 --> 00:22:59,276 TO TAKE CARE OF SHIT LIKE THIS. 545 00:22:59,277 --> 00:23:01,312 THIS IS NOT FUNNY, CATHY. 546 00:23:01,313 --> 00:23:03,581 DO YOU REALIZE YOU ARE THE THIRD PERSON 547 00:23:03,582 --> 00:23:06,450 FROM YOUR HOUSE IN MY OFFICE TODAY? 548 00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:08,719 YOU ARE A TEACHER. 549 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,821 CERTAIN RULES NEED TO BE FOLLOWED. 550 00:23:10,822 --> 00:23:13,023 CERTAIN BEHAVIOR IS EXPECTED. 551 00:23:13,024 --> 00:23:15,326 AND TODAY'S BEHAVIOR WAS NOT IT. 552 00:23:15,327 --> 00:23:19,029 YOU KNOW, I'M NOT PARTICULARLY PROUD OF MYSELF, 553 00:23:19,030 --> 00:23:20,798 BUT I AM AN ADULT, SO YOU CAN STOP 554 00:23:20,799 --> 00:23:22,800 WAGGING YOUR FINGER AT ME. 555 00:23:22,801 --> 00:23:24,368 PSH. 556 00:23:24,369 --> 00:23:25,803 IS THAT-- 557 00:23:25,804 --> 00:23:29,373 IS THAT ALCOHOL ON YOUR BREATH? 558 00:23:29,374 --> 00:23:30,875 EXCUSE ME? 559 00:23:30,876 --> 00:23:33,644 YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME A LITTLE MORE CREDIT, CONNIE. 560 00:23:33,645 --> 00:23:35,780 FOR YOUR INFORMATION, WHAT YOU'RE SMELLING 561 00:23:35,781 --> 00:23:40,217 IS MEDICINE THAT I'M ON FOR MY CLINICAL TRIAL. 562 00:23:40,218 --> 00:23:41,752 MEDICINE. 563 00:23:41,753 --> 00:23:43,654 YOU HAVE GOT TO HELP ME OUT HERE, CATHY. 564 00:23:43,655 --> 00:23:46,290 I THINK THE SCHOOL HAS BEEN VERY GOOD 565 00:23:46,291 --> 00:23:48,726 ABOUT GIVING YOU THE TIME AND SPACE YOU NEED 566 00:23:48,727 --> 00:23:50,094 TO DEAL WITH YOUR ILLNESS. 567 00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:54,933 I ONLY ASK FOR A LITTLE PROFESSIONALISM IN RETURN. 568 00:23:59,004 --> 00:24:00,404 SO YOU WANT... 569 00:24:00,405 --> 00:24:04,375 PROFESSIONALISM. 570 00:24:04,376 --> 00:24:06,911 PROFESSIONAL... 571 00:24:06,912 --> 00:24:10,915 PROFESSIONALISM. 572 00:24:10,916 --> 00:24:13,651 HE'S WEARING A TIE. 573 00:24:13,652 --> 00:24:15,286 IS THAT PROFESSIONAL ENOUGH FOR YA? 574 00:24:22,761 --> 00:24:26,197 ♪ I ♪ 575 00:24:26,198 --> 00:24:29,033 ♪ THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW ♪ 576 00:24:29,034 --> 00:24:30,134 ♪ THAT I ♪ 577 00:24:30,135 --> 00:24:32,002 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 578 00:24:32,003 --> 00:24:33,537 I WORK HERE, REMEMBER? 579 00:24:33,538 --> 00:24:35,406 NO, I MEAN WHY DID ADAM CALL ME FOR A RIDE 580 00:24:35,407 --> 00:24:36,874 IF--IF YOU WERE HERE? 581 00:24:36,875 --> 00:24:38,409 OH, I'M AFRAID HE DOESN'T WANT 582 00:24:38,410 --> 00:24:40,811 TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME RIGHT NOW. 583 00:24:40,812 --> 00:24:45,316 WHY? WHAT HAPPENED? 584 00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:46,450 I TOLD HIM MY STORY. 585 00:24:46,451 --> 00:24:47,685 I TOLD HIM EVERYTHING. 586 00:24:47,686 --> 00:24:50,588 I THINK IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. 587 00:24:50,589 --> 00:24:53,625 THE WAY I DID IT WAS QUESTIONABLE. 588 00:24:56,928 --> 00:24:58,229 HONEY, HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING? 589 00:24:58,230 --> 00:24:59,864 I HAVE. 590 00:24:59,865 --> 00:25:02,600 AND I WILL PROBABLY BE DRINKING MORE LATER. 591 00:25:02,601 --> 00:25:03,701 I'LL SEE YOU AT HOME. 592 00:25:03,702 --> 00:25:10,274 ♪ I CAN'T LET YOU GO ♪ 593 00:25:10,275 --> 00:25:13,310 ♪ TONIGHT ♪ 594 00:25:13,311 --> 00:25:16,146 ♪ I CAN'T BE ALONE ♪ 595 00:25:16,147 --> 00:25:18,082 LOOK, DON'T-- I WAS JUST-- 596 00:25:18,083 --> 00:25:20,584 WASTING A PERFECTLY GOOD CIGARETTE? 597 00:25:20,585 --> 00:25:21,886 YOU GOT ANOTHER ONE I CAN BUM? 598 00:25:21,887 --> 00:25:24,522 SURE. 599 00:25:24,523 --> 00:25:27,825 ♪ THAT YOU ♪ 600 00:25:27,826 --> 00:25:30,661 ♪ DON'T LOVE ME THAT WAY ♪ 601 00:25:30,662 --> 00:25:34,164 ♪ TONIGHT ♪ 602 00:25:34,165 --> 00:25:35,266 HUH. 603 00:25:35,267 --> 00:25:37,401 ♪ I'LL BE JUST LIKE ♪ 604 00:25:37,402 --> 00:25:44,174 ♪ YOUR SHADOW ♪ 605 00:25:44,175 --> 00:25:47,545 ♪ YOUR SHADOW ♪ 606 00:25:47,546 --> 00:25:50,848 ♪ YOUR SHADOW ♪ 607 00:25:50,849 --> 00:25:52,516 ALL SET. WANT TO SEE IT? 608 00:25:52,517 --> 00:25:55,252 MM-HMM. 609 00:25:55,253 --> 00:25:58,289 ♪ IT'S BEEN SO LONG ♪ 610 00:25:58,290 --> 00:26:01,458 ♪ AND YOU ♪ 611 00:26:01,459 --> 00:26:02,626 SO WHAT DO YOU THINK, ALEXIS? 612 00:26:02,627 --> 00:26:05,629 YOU LIKE IT? 613 00:26:05,630 --> 00:26:07,731 ♪ TONIGHT ♪ 614 00:26:07,732 --> 00:26:09,400 I LOVE IT. 615 00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:10,834 ♪ I'LL BE JUST LIKE ♪ 616 00:26:10,835 --> 00:26:13,872 ♪ YOUR SHADOW ♪ 43163

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