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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:31,490 Charlie, babe, I think you need to drop this. 2 00:00:31,574 --> 00:00:36,829 Drop what? I'm just trying to clear up the misinformation about the hotel. 3 00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:40,416 There is no point. Those fuckers work for Vox. 4 00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:43,377 Katie Killjoy is just gonna do the same thing that Vees did. 5 00:00:43,461 --> 00:00:44,628 Don't feed into this crap. 6 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:48,090 Just stay with me today. And the guests, also the guests. 7 00:00:48,174 --> 00:00:51,844 I know, but I feel like if I explain myself on live television, 8 00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:54,138 then they won't be able to edit it like that video! 9 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:57,892 You know I did not strike Velvette with an open fist. 10 00:00:57,975 --> 00:00:59,226 I'm aware. 11 00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:02,438 So... just keep holding down the fort... you're doing great by the way... 12 00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:03,939 until Niffty and I get back. 13 00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:04,899 Niffty? 14 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:06,066 Hi. 15 00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,276 Okay. Have fun. Love you. Bye. 16 00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:08,819 Bye! 17 00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:26,462 Fucking dickhead. 18 00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:28,047 Oh! 19 00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:31,967 Look who it is interrupting this riveting conversation I was having with... 20 00:01:32,051 --> 00:01:34,094 -who are you again? -Uh, Angel Dust. 21 00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:36,430 Angel Dust! I knew that. 22 00:01:36,514 --> 00:01:38,265 -You're funny. -What? 23 00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:40,142 You're still here? 24 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:44,729 Someone has to actually help out around here, Mr. Useless. 25 00:01:44,814 --> 00:01:47,149 What do you actually do here? 26 00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:49,819 I told you, I'm the host of the hotel. 27 00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:52,988 Huh, I thought that was, uh, I thought that was Charlie's girlfriend's job, 28 00:01:53,072 --> 00:01:57,618 because she, my friend, is on it with running this whole hotel... 29 00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:58,661 thing. 30 00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:01,247 So you're doing a poor job at that. 31 00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:03,999 Oh, and I hear you got your ass kicked and ran away 32 00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:05,709 when Charlie needed you most. 33 00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,711 It's a sure good thing I showed up. 34 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,798 Am I right? 35 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,591 -This guy knows. -What? 36 00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:16,679 You... 37 00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:18,264 should use a coaster. 38 00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:20,766 That's it! Fuck this, I quit. 39 00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:23,894 That's it, Bambi, walk away. 40 00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:26,939 You... 41 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:30,776 You should've moved in sooner. 42 00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:32,945 Coming up, on Katie Killjoy Tonight, 43 00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:36,365 an exclusive interview with Hell's not-so-favorite nepo baby 44 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,783 Charlie Morningstar, 45 00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:40,160 only on 666 news. 46 00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:42,538 You don't want to miss this. 47 00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:46,125 All right, people, we're on in five. 48 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:50,087 All right, Niffty, 49 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,213 we got this, right? 50 00:02:51,297 --> 00:02:53,841 I mean, all I got to do is talk from the heart, for the people. 51 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,133 Set the record straight. 52 00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:56,218 Real straight. 53 00:02:56,302 --> 00:02:58,512 Explain what really happened. 54 00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:01,181 -Real straight! -Right. You got the cards ready? 55 00:03:03,434 --> 00:03:06,312 -Perfect. -Is that the princess? 56 00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:07,897 Didn't learn your lesson yesterday? 57 00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:11,692 What you guys put out yesterday was heavily fucked... with. 58 00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,402 So I'm here to set the record straight 59 00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:15,029 with my own words that you can't fuck with. 60 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,906 Sure, sweetie. 61 00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:19,950 -Katie! You know what to do. -Ho-ho, right. 62 00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:23,245 It's nice to meet you, Miss Morningstar. 63 00:03:23,329 --> 00:03:25,498 It is Miss, right? 'Cause we all know queers can't get married. 64 00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:26,582 What? 65 00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,792 Well, let's not waste any more time, dear. 66 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,711 Come on. You still need to get camera ready. 67 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,880 I am camera ready. 68 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:35,633 Oh, sweetheart... yuck. 69 00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:39,053 Wow, that's bright. 70 00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:43,057 Welcome back to me. I'm here with Charlie Morningstar, 71 00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:46,393 homosexual daughter of our big old devil daddy 72 00:03:46,477 --> 00:03:48,562 and founder of the Hazbin Hotel... 73 00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:51,231 ...which is starting to live up to the name, wouldn't you say? 74 00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:52,775 I would. 75 00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:55,194 Firstly, I'm bi, 76 00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,654 but thanks, Katie. 77 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,114 You know, the name was kind of a funny story actually... 78 00:03:59,198 --> 00:04:01,951 -Phenomenal. So tell us, Chazzie... -It's Charlie. 79 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:05,329 You're here to set the record straight about your hotel, yes? 80 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,331 What exactly is there to tell us? 81 00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:10,876 I'd say we already saw everything in last week's hit docuseries 82 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,545 Hazbin Hotel, Behind Closed Doors, 83 00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:16,548 available now on VoxTek video. 84 00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:20,803 Well, as you know, Vox paid a visit to our hotel recently, yes, 85 00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:22,388 and he lied about everything that... 86 00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:25,182 Whoa, duh-duh, lied? 87 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:28,102 I'd say that's a pretty intense accusation, don't you think? 88 00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:31,105 Well, he, um... misrepresented things, so... 89 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:33,774 Oh! Using fancy words now. 90 00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:36,944 -He bent the truth! -I wish he'd bend me. 91 00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:40,114 Right in half, you know what I'm saying? 92 00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:42,783 -Tom, laugh! -Oh! Ha-ha-ha. 93 00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:45,619 Oh, no... 94 00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:58,924 Knock-knock, Rosie my dear, Alastor's here. 95 00:04:59,008 --> 00:05:03,178 Oh! Alastor. Don't you know it's rude to show up on a lady unannounced? 96 00:05:03,262 --> 00:05:04,805 I have nothing prepared. 97 00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:08,809 Oh, please, no need to gussy up for little old me now. 98 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:12,521 I just dropped in to tell you the great news. 99 00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:16,358 Oh, great news? That's always exciting for me to hear. 100 00:05:16,442 --> 00:05:18,235 By all means, tell me. 101 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,238 I'm sure you know all about Charlie's little hotel 102 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,657 and how I've been "helping out." 103 00:05:23,741 --> 00:05:24,992 Of course I do. 104 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,578 Yes, well... I just quit. 105 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:30,873 You what? 106 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:33,542 You see, I've been there about a year or so, 107 00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:37,379 and after all of the pointless singing and crying... 108 00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:41,258 I'm afraid I see no further reason for my presence there. 109 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,135 We really aren't getting any closer to... 110 00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:45,220 Ah, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup. 111 00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:48,515 Alastor, sweetie, pumpkin. 112 00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:51,268 I'm afraid that isn't up to you, is it? 113 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:56,482 See, I thought that, too, but I also thought our little deal meant 114 00:05:56,565 --> 00:06:00,235 that I was the strongest sinner in all of Hell. 115 00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:03,030 Yet here I am with the scars 116 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:06,742 and a busted-up staff that proves otherwise. 117 00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:08,619 Oh, come on now, Alastor. 118 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,704 You really thought being the most powerful sinner, 119 00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:14,625 which you are, meant you could take on an archangel? 120 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:19,213 You're still as cute and stubborn as the day we met. 121 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,841 Don't remind me. 122 00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:25,135 Oh, but I will. 123 00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:28,847 You were a handsome young man, 124 00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:30,099 such a charmer. 125 00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:31,934 And quite the gentleman, if I recall. 126 00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:35,229 Hustling yourself and dazzling those yuppy producers. 127 00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:39,691 Overcoming so much to be the star of your own radio show. 128 00:06:39,775 --> 00:06:42,653 The toast of New Orleans. 129 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,697 But you were a bit naughty... 130 00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:46,698 weren't you? 131 00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:49,243 Oh! 132 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:57,543 I'll always be impressed with how prepared you were for all this while still human. 133 00:06:57,626 --> 00:07:02,089 I can't imagine how many rituals it took to get through to the other side, 134 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,925 but when I heard your voice... 135 00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:07,094 I just knew. 136 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,847 I knew you were the one. 137 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:13,058 Tu es prêt à manger... 138 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:19,565 I call on you, voices of the afterlife. 139 00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:22,192 I wish to make a deal with you. 140 00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:27,865 Why have you called me here, human? 141 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:30,951 To curse? To give? 142 00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:34,705 -To learn? -Allow me to cut to the chase. 143 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:38,417 I know what awaits a man like me after death. 144 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:41,670 But I do not want to exist in Hell, a tortured soul. 145 00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:47,050 I want to secure myself, amongst the highest demons. 146 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:49,761 I want to continue my fun! 147 00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:52,431 Wow. That's a new one. 148 00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:57,728 I must say, a soul like yours is unlike any I've seen. 149 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,855 I can grant you power, 150 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:04,193 power beyond what your mortal mind can imagine. 151 00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:08,238 The most powerful sinner in Hell, but... 152 00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:11,992 you must do something for me, 153 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:16,663 and until you complete this task, your soul will be mine. 154 00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:20,292 It's a deal. 155 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,755 It's pretty funny that the next day, 156 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:28,258 you died in the most hilarious way possible. 157 00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:30,928 Mistaken for a deer and shot while hiding a body. 158 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:34,014 I mean, just perfect. 159 00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:36,140 So anticlimactic. 160 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,688 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 161 00:08:41,772 --> 00:08:44,358 Oh, hilarious. 162 00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:47,194 Ah. Ah. Ah-ha-ha! 163 00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:50,614 Look, you can toy around with me 164 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:53,825 all you want, but I've been running all over Hell 165 00:08:53,909 --> 00:08:58,288 on some fruitless crusade for years, playing nice at a stupid hotel 166 00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:03,460 because you promised me power, and now I'm lacking, so you better... 167 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,546 ♪ Sounds like you really could do ♪ 168 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:11,009 ♪ with a little reminder of who you're talking to ♪ 169 00:09:11,093 --> 00:09:16,515 ♪ An honest woman always there to lend an ear ♪ 170 00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:20,811 ♪ I dealt with you fairly, been patient it's true ♪ 171 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:25,649 ♪ But remember, "my deer," you're in my zoo ♪ 172 00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,567 ♪ Don't you forget ♪ 173 00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:30,696 ♪ You are my pet ♪ 174 00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:35,075 ♪ I say when to sit and stay, roll over or go fetch ♪ 175 00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:37,160 ♪ Don't you forget ♪ 176 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,371 ♪ There's no way out ♪ 177 00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:43,040 ♪ You're a debtor till the day you settle your account ♪ 178 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,045 ♪ I've served you faithfully for an age ♪ 179 00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:49,798 ♪ obeyed demands, contained my rage ♪ 180 00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:53,051 ♪ went off the air for years on your behalf ♪ 181 00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:55,220 ♪ I know, and you're so kind ♪ 182 00:09:55,304 --> 00:09:57,848 ♪ And since you made me disappear ♪ 183 00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,434 ♪ my name inspires much less fear ♪ 184 00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:03,812 ♪ The least that you can do is fix my staff ♪ 185 00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:04,938 In due time. 186 00:10:05,022 --> 00:10:07,190 Sing along, dear, you know the words. 187 00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,359 -Oh. -♪ Don't you forget ♪ 188 00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:10,652 ♪ I won't forget ♪ 189 00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:12,696 ♪ You are my pet ♪ 190 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,823 ♪ Yours since we met ♪ 191 00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:17,367 ♪ I say when to sit and stay ♪ 192 00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:19,244 ♪ play ball or just play dead ♪ 193 00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:21,330 ♪ Don't you forget ♪ 194 00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:22,581 ♪ I'm in your net ♪ 195 00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:25,584 -♪ The coop can't be flown ♪ -♪ At least not yet ♪ 196 00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:30,630 ♪ The moves you make are mine and mine alone ♪ 197 00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:35,552 ♪ Looks like you'll have to do this on your own ♪♪ 198 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,012 Fine. 199 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,683 Oh, calling me her pet. 200 00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:44,227 I'm not your pet, you lousy... 201 00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:45,479 I'll show her. 202 00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,230 Oh, she'll see. 203 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,775 Think. Think. Come on, Alastor. 204 00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:51,318 Come on. 205 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,987 There must be a way. 206 00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:55,697 Oh. 207 00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:58,075 Oh, that's clever. 208 00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:01,828 Hmm. 209 00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:05,665 I can fix my own problems. 210 00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,751 So basically, what you're trying to tell us is 211 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:11,171 that an angel told you your silly little snake friend was alive. 212 00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:12,339 The same angels 213 00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:15,300 that made it their whole "thing" for seven years to kill 214 00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:16,718 as many of us as possible? 215 00:11:16,802 --> 00:11:19,513 And you just expect us to believe all that? 216 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:24,017 Yes! Well, I mean, yes, they don't want to hurt us anymore. 217 00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:28,480 Now that Sir Pentious is redeemed, I'm sure they are going to help us, so... 218 00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:30,357 Oh, you're sure, are you? You're so sure? 219 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:34,861 Because I'm sure that Vox reported on how you had no evidence at all, 220 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:39,199 and that you just put your guests in danger for fun. 221 00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:42,327 Well, sure, but see, he made it look that way. 222 00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:45,997 If you take something out of context, you can make someone say anything. 223 00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:50,669 It feels like he was just waiting for me to say something awful, like that 224 00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:53,213 "I think sinners deserved the extermination 225 00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:55,382 "because they're bad people." 226 00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,426 But I would never actually say that. 227 00:11:57,509 --> 00:12:00,846 Oh! Did you get that? 228 00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:03,140 Breaking news. Charlie Morningstar claims 229 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:06,643 that sinners deserved to be exterminated in shocking new statement. 230 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,062 No. No. That is not... 231 00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:10,981 Like... What?! Stop. 232 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,358 That is not what I said. It was just an example. 233 00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,317 Not like I meant it, you know? Please stop 234 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:15,986 quoting everything I'm saying. It is distracting me. 235 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,904 What?! Don't compare me to Hitler! 236 00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:19,448 How are you even typing this fast?! 237 00:12:19,531 --> 00:12:22,409 I am so getting that fucking bonus. 238 00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,953 Now, Charles, do you have anything else 239 00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:27,247 you'd like to clarify about your Hashbrown Motel? 240 00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:31,751 I... Um, uh, y... you know. 241 00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:33,753 N-Niffty. 242 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:38,216 Here. Come up here and tell us all about how amazing the Hazbin Hotel is. 243 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:41,386 Just tell them! Uh... 244 00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:43,763 Uh… Uh... Oh, shit. 245 00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:45,223 The camera thing. Uh... 246 00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:47,726 Oh! Hey, Niffty, guess what? 247 00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:50,562 That is not a camera. It's a roach. 248 00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:52,606 That's a big roach. 249 00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:58,487 Yeah. Tell the big roach about how much you like the hotel. 250 00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,828 ♪ There's an endless stream of trash and filth and hundreds of bugs ♪ 251 00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:08,163 ♪ If you love the stench of jizz, wait till you smell our rugs ♪ 252 00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:10,916 ♪ 'cause people barf and piss and cum on them a ton ♪ 253 00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,959 ♪ And when they do, I get to go and clean it up ♪ 254 00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:14,294 -What? -♪ Hypodermic needles ♪ 255 00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,379 ♪ left all over the place ♪ 256 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,589 ♪ And our rats have grown immune to being sprayed by mace ♪ 257 00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:20,175 ♪ So I got to take my knife and stab 'em all in the face ♪ 258 00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:22,719 ♪ And now they treat me like their queen because I'm covered in rat blood ♪ 259 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,679 -♪ Niffty, no ♪ -♪ Magical land ♪ 260 00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:27,390 ♪ hotel of my dreams ♪ 261 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:31,019 ♪ disgustingest, ugliest building that I've ever seen ♪ 262 00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:32,563 ♪ And I get to clean it up ♪♪ 263 00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,397 -Niffty, what are you doing? -Helping! 264 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:37,150 -Can you help differently? -Okay. 265 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:40,987 Um... 266 00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:44,741 Can anyone understand this?! 267 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,119 Why?! 268 00:13:56,962 --> 00:13:58,630 Yes. 269 00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:03,301 ♪ And that's why the hotel is good ♪♪ 270 00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:05,387 Right? Yay. 271 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,019 I know you're watching. 272 00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:14,396 Come on out. 273 00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:17,607 No need to be shy, Vox. 274 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,610 Alastor. 275 00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:23,280 For what do I owe the displeasure? 276 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,240 Did I strike a nerve? 277 00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:29,703 Finally ready to plead with me to stop shitting on your precious hotel? 278 00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:33,623 Frankly, I'm bored of hearing your incessant slander. 279 00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,959 It's not even clever. 280 00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:38,003 This ends now. 281 00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:43,133 Ugh. Voxxy, you can't get all up in this and then zip out like that. 282 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,302 I thought you liked it when I... 283 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:49,264 TMI, Val. Now who are we killing? And can I film it? 284 00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:52,183 No, no, dear, I don't think Vox would want the public 285 00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:55,437 to see me put him in his place a second time. 286 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:59,357 Fuck you, Twink! 287 00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:13,580 What's wrong, old man? 288 00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:17,167 Getting your ass beat by Adam fuck you harder than you thought? 289 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:20,503 Hiyah! Oh! 290 00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:29,596 What's the matter, bitch? Can't get it up? 291 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,853 Daddy's home. 292 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,983 Oh, dear, does that hurt? 293 00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:44,069 Hey! Fuck! 294 00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:50,033 Damn. It's gonna take a lot more to fix that hairdo. 295 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,911 Hey, my little puppets, I'm putting up a poll. 296 00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:58,792 Vote "yes" or "no" if you want me to absolutely obliterate this guy. 297 00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:24,401 Come on out. 298 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:25,819 Are you fucking kidding me? 299 00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,112 -You are very rude. -Look at you go. 300 00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:28,947 -Yada, yada, yada. -This has all been a whole setup, 301 00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:31,325 and once more, you are very homophobic, Ms. Killjoy, and I do not like you. 302 00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:32,409 I'm not homophobic. 303 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,493 -I just hate gay people. -This has been the worst 304 00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,537 -fucking interview of my entire life. -So sue me. 305 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:38,415 Alastor's in trouble! 306 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,172 Hey, have you ever heard of a blob fish? 307 00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,299 A... what? 308 00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:48,383 Check this out. 309 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:49,676 How cute is that? 310 00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,470 Why are you like this? 311 00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:55,557 Look, Angel, I... 312 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,268 Oh, hey, Niff. What the fuck?! 313 00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,978 Huh? 314 00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:03,690 A lot of weird shit happens here. 315 00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:09,529 Found you! 316 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:18,704 Someone should really put this thing out of its misery. 317 00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:21,915 We're here, Alastor! 318 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:24,752 Husk, go! 319 00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:25,920 What the...?! 320 00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:28,047 The fuck is this about, Alastor? 321 00:17:28,131 --> 00:17:29,758 You still fighting these nobodies? 322 00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:31,426 My hair! 323 00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:34,637 I'm gonna kill you! 324 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:37,891 Look, lady, I didn't mean to... Oh, shit. 325 00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:47,108 Hey, bad boy. 326 00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:50,153 You again?! 327 00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,614 -Ow! Fuck! -Oh! 328 00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:56,242 Looks like it's me and you again. Ready to lose? 329 00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:58,787 Not this time. 330 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,165 Geez. 331 00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:05,335 Calm down, bitch. 332 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,712 This outfit is worth ten of you. 333 00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:11,341 Put a shirt on, you mangey stray. 334 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,347 -Hmm. -Oh, not there. 335 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,516 -Oh. -Ow! 336 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:23,144 Oh. No. 337 00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:26,314 Ow! Aah! 338 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:32,278 Gun. 339 00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,697 Wait. Call off your goons. 340 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:37,575 I have a proposition for you. 341 00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:39,285 Excuse me? 342 00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,371 Now or never. 343 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:44,165 Val, hang on. 344 00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:47,252 We keep going back and forth, 345 00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:51,381 and it's growing really tiresome, uh, quite boring actually, 346 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:54,759 and it's making it harder for me to do what I have to do. 347 00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:57,428 Yeah, of course, you're trying to talk your way out of this. 348 00:18:57,512 --> 00:18:59,264 Get to the fucking point! 349 00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:01,683 How about… we make a little deal? 350 00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:06,437 I'll join your propaganda parade and be your little prisoner? 351 00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:09,983 All I ask for in exchange is, ooh, 352 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:14,737 two, tiny, itty bitty conditions. 353 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,072 The fuck is he doing? 354 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,782 What conditions? 355 00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:22,078 Let these irrelevant little nobodies run along home, 356 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:25,164 but more importantly, you're not to lay your hands 357 00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:28,167 on Charlie Morningstar. 358 00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:31,337 Wait. That's it? 359 00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:34,924 That's it. Pretty enticing, isn't it? 360 00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:37,927 Think of the headlines. 361 00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:40,513 That's-that's... 362 00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:42,724 It's a deal. 363 00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:46,644 Yes! 364 00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:49,314 I fucking did it! Ha-ha-ha! 365 00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:52,317 Holy fuck. Everyone out. Look who I have. 366 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,403 Velvette. Cameras. 367 00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:59,157 All right, you heard him, people. Everyone out. 368 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,700 Move your asses. 369 00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:02,660 Alastor, what happened? What's going on? 370 00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:04,662 -Wait! Wait! Alastor! -Move, bitch! 371 00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:06,331 -Move. -Ugh! Oh, stop pushing me! 372 00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:07,749 -Bitch, move. -Alastor. 373 00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:11,127 Ugh. Wait. Let me back in. I am the princess of Hell! 374 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,924 What the actual fuck is happening?! 375 00:20:17,842 --> 00:20:20,428 Oh! No. No, thank you. No, yeah. 376 00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:22,055 Thank you. I-I... I won. 377 00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:24,974 You like...? I know I... I know I won. 378 00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:27,268 I like winning. 379 00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:29,771 And let me be the one to tell the world 380 00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:34,317 that Alastor does not have a tail. 381 00:20:36,611 --> 00:20:39,572 Oh, that's gonna piss some people off. 382 00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:42,325 One... smoothie, please. 383 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:54,045 Oh! 384 00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:57,423 Oh! Ah! 385 00:20:57,507 --> 00:20:59,968 Today was perfect. 386 00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:01,594 Right, Val? 387 00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:03,096 Uh-huh, sure, babe. 388 00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:05,390 Hmm? And what-what do you think, Alastor? 389 00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:08,643 Oh, why the long face? 390 00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:18,111 Mm-hmm. Mm. 391 00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:20,488 Isn't this nice? 392 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,578 Look at all this. 393 00:21:27,662 --> 00:21:29,163 I know you feel it, too. 394 00:21:29,247 --> 00:21:33,334 And to think you could have had this all and without the public humiliation. 395 00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:36,379 Yeah, this calls for a celebration. 396 00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:41,384 Hmm, yes, not like you haven't been doing that all day. 397 00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:45,596 Whiskey? Gin? I could call up and get you a Sazerac? 398 00:21:49,183 --> 00:21:52,103 You know I've waited for this moment for almost 70 years. 399 00:21:52,186 --> 00:21:53,938 I'm curious. 400 00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:58,234 What makes the princess and her crappy little hotel so great 401 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:03,614 that the Radio Demon gives up what little dignity he had left to help out with it? 402 00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:08,369 Or how a guy from the '30s landed in Hell and somehow 403 00:22:08,453 --> 00:22:11,080 became one of the most powerful overlords? 404 00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:12,957 Tell me how. 405 00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:15,585 Mm, nope. Our deal is for me to be your captive. 406 00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:18,254 I don't have to tell you anything. 407 00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:21,758 Seriously? You usually love to run your mouth. 408 00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:25,261 But I guess being a brat is kind of your thing, isn't it? 409 00:22:26,637 --> 00:22:28,973 You'd be nothing without those two. 410 00:22:29,057 --> 00:22:31,768 -Excuse me? -You really haven't changed, have you? 411 00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:34,145 Still so reliant on all those around you. 412 00:22:34,228 --> 00:22:38,357 Always seeking someone to put up with your incessant... 413 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,903 You know, I think I prefer the silence. 414 00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:44,072 What? 415 00:22:44,155 --> 00:22:48,367 Don't want to be reminded of how desperate you were for attention? 416 00:22:48,451 --> 00:22:53,331 Back then, you and I were as close to equals as I'd imagined down here. 417 00:22:53,414 --> 00:22:56,417 You had your decent ideas, you were growing your power, 418 00:22:56,501 --> 00:22:59,420 and it was almost impressive. 419 00:22:59,504 --> 00:23:01,631 And I respected you. 420 00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:03,716 And then you went and ruined it. 421 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:08,763 I thought you found me, what was it? Inspiring? 422 00:23:11,516 --> 00:23:13,226 You're inspiring, really. 423 00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:14,936 And when you think about it, 424 00:23:15,019 --> 00:23:18,231 modern entertainment actually started with radio. 425 00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:21,526 -Ah. -Ah, am I boring you with my compliments? 426 00:23:21,609 --> 00:23:22,944 Perhaps. 427 00:23:23,027 --> 00:23:25,154 Well, look, I'll just get to the point. 428 00:23:25,238 --> 00:23:27,490 We've been close for a few years now, right? 429 00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:29,867 I mean, people know us, they love us. 430 00:23:29,951 --> 00:23:32,578 And with new overlords popping up every day. 431 00:23:32,662 --> 00:23:35,331 And before you hit me with a, "Well, you're pretty new yourself," 432 00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:38,167 I know, okay, but I'm much more forward-thinking, 433 00:23:38,251 --> 00:23:40,545 so it's in your best interest to hear me out. 434 00:23:40,628 --> 00:23:43,881 I'm listening, pal. Barkeep, another whiskey. 435 00:23:46,801 --> 00:23:50,138 So, I've been thinking, Alastor, 436 00:23:50,221 --> 00:23:55,017 with your incredible power and my massive influence, 437 00:23:55,101 --> 00:23:57,520 we would be unstoppable. 438 00:23:57,603 --> 00:23:59,230 Radio and video. 439 00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:04,485 Me and you... we could rule Hell, together, as partners. 440 00:24:10,575 --> 00:24:13,452 Oh, that's... Oh, you're serious? 441 00:24:13,536 --> 00:24:16,414 Come now, Vox. 442 00:24:19,250 --> 00:24:23,671 I knew you could be pathetic at times, but I didn't realize you were so weak. 443 00:24:23,754 --> 00:24:26,048 What? 444 00:24:26,132 --> 00:24:30,178 Oh, fuck. 445 00:24:30,261 --> 00:24:32,889 You need me to join your team. 446 00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:36,475 And here I thought you might actually be approaching my level, 447 00:24:36,559 --> 00:24:38,978 but asking for assistance? 448 00:24:39,061 --> 00:24:40,813 A partnership? 449 00:24:40,897 --> 00:24:43,524 -I am quite disappointed in you. -I... 450 00:24:43,608 --> 00:24:46,027 I just thought, you know, since we were friends... 451 00:24:46,110 --> 00:24:48,654 Friends?! There are no friends 452 00:24:48,738 --> 00:24:51,157 in Hell, Vincent. I thought that was something you understood. 453 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,827 How embarrassing. 454 00:24:54,911 --> 00:25:00,333 Oh, the tantrum you threw after... now that was entertainment. 455 00:25:02,585 --> 00:25:06,589 I did really have to put you in your place, didn't I? Ah. 456 00:25:06,672 --> 00:25:09,634 And now you finally have me, 457 00:25:09,717 --> 00:25:16,224 but you still rely on others for your power, like always. 458 00:25:16,307 --> 00:25:18,143 ♪ You think your little mockery ♪ 459 00:25:18,226 --> 00:25:20,436 ♪ is gonna make me cry? ♪ 460 00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:24,398 ♪ That I'm bawling 'bout the past that could have been? ♪ 461 00:25:24,482 --> 00:25:26,150 ♪ Look around ya, Al ♪ 462 00:25:26,234 --> 00:25:28,152 ♪ I've been scheming this whole time ♪ 463 00:25:28,236 --> 00:25:31,530 ♪ I got a team, I got a dream ♪ 464 00:25:31,614 --> 00:25:35,493 ♪ and all I'm gonna do is win ♪ 465 00:25:38,162 --> 00:25:40,748 ♪ You're in my house with my rules ♪ 466 00:25:40,831 --> 00:25:42,541 ♪ in my room with my tools ♪ 467 00:25:42,625 --> 00:25:46,712 ♪ And worse, you're at my mercy, cursed to watch me take it all ♪ 468 00:25:46,796 --> 00:25:49,131 ♪ You've gone ass up, you're deep fried ♪ 469 00:25:49,215 --> 00:25:51,217 ♪ Your last luck has run dry ♪ 470 00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:55,179 ♪ At last your check has cashed, I'd laugh at how you look so small ♪ 471 00:25:55,263 --> 00:25:57,056 ♪ Don't you forget ♪ 472 00:25:57,139 --> 00:25:59,976 ♪ You're on my string ♪ 473 00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:03,604 ♪ You can try to squirm and struggle and it wouldn't do a thing ♪ 474 00:26:03,688 --> 00:26:06,274 -♪ Don't you forget ♪ -You're so obsessed with me. 475 00:26:06,357 --> 00:26:09,944 ♪ I knew you'd need me here to be your unwilling audience ♪ 476 00:26:10,027 --> 00:26:13,155 ♪ when you lose your marbles in act three ♪ 477 00:26:13,239 --> 00:26:17,868 ♪ You're huffing glue if you think I won't end this tale a ruler ♪ 478 00:26:17,952 --> 00:26:21,998 ♪ I'm just like you except I'm smarter, sharper, brighter, newer ♪ 479 00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:23,791 ♪ So I'll keep your smug ass alive ♪ 480 00:26:23,874 --> 00:26:25,251 -To show me you're not a loser? -Do you ever shut up? 481 00:26:25,334 --> 00:26:28,212 -♪ Don't you forget ♪ -Oh, here he goes. 482 00:26:28,296 --> 00:26:30,589 -♪ You ain't won yet ♪ -Ooh, I'm scared. 483 00:26:30,673 --> 00:26:35,261 -♪ You still need me like you did before ♪ -So cute you think I care. 484 00:26:37,179 --> 00:26:41,225 ♪ Now I'm the master and you're my bottomest bitch ♪ 485 00:26:41,309 --> 00:26:45,563 ♪ No more Al, the high and mighty now that I flipped the switch ♪ 486 00:26:45,646 --> 00:26:49,775 ♪ Though the radio's gone dead you know the show must go on ♪ 487 00:26:49,859 --> 00:26:51,736 ♪ By the time I've had my fun ♪ 488 00:26:51,819 --> 00:26:55,072 ♪ you'll wish that you had stayed gone ♪♪ 489 00:26:59,327 --> 00:27:01,829 Hey, you two should just fuck already. 490 00:27:03,873 --> 00:27:05,791 What? Am I wrong? 491 00:27:05,875 --> 00:27:08,044 And can I film it? 37276

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