Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:37,480
What the hell is going on?!
2
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:40,960
Good morning, good morning.
Breaking news just in.
3
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,600
The men have surrendered
4
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:45,480
to the Housework Action Group's
demands, and...
5
00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,120
the Verderer, whose
whereabouts are uncertain,
6
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,160
has suffered a vote
of no confidence.
7
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:55,040
Women can now claim monthly
chore benefit, thanks to Janet,
8
00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:57,640
- who has ring-fenced funding.
- Well, it-- it'd better not be
9
00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,760
from the cheese-eating-
competition coffers!
10
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:03,040
The mandatory men's training
with Pig Man and his cloth
11
00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:04,560
can now begin.
12
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:07,160
It's an historic victory
for the women.
13
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:10,320
And though the strike
may be over in our community,
14
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,440
it's only just beginning
in others.
15
00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:16,720
Stationers from Gloucester to
Bristol have run out of ledgers
16
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:21,120
as the Housework Action Group's
membership swells.
17
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:25,800
Progress has been made, but
the strike brought out language
18
00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:28,280
that should have been consigned
to the history books.
19
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:32,040
Have you ever been called
a witch?
20
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:35,120
And if so, why?
Sheila's on line one.
21
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:36,920
The husband
called me a witch, Joy,
22
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,560
just for laughing at him
last winter
23
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,080
when we climbed up Snowdon
24
00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:41,560
and his todger went
up inside him.
25
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:44,160
Well, we can't win,
can we, Sheila?
26
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,560
Wendy is on line two.
27
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,560
My old boss
called me a witch, Joy,
28
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:52,000
just for telling him to make
his own fucking tea.
29
00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:53,640
Drown and we're innocent,
30
00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:56,920
float and we're guilty,
eh, Wendy?
31
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,760
What image comes to mind
when you hear the word "witch"?
32
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,080
Linda Jane--
33
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,600
Seems to me a witch
is just a woman
34
00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,280
who knows her own power.
35
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,280
Let's all be witches.
36
00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:31,920
Huh?
37
00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,120
Huh?
38
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:10,280
Do you know what this is...
Verderer?
39
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:14,160
Well, one of your bloody
lesbo-dominatrix,
40
00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:16,760
sex-torture implements,
I-I imagine.
41
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,760
God knows whose mouth
this has been in!
42
00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:21,280
It's called a scold's bridle.
43
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:22,880
Well, if I get mouth herpes,
44
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:24,640
I'll be suing you,
Agnes Watkins!
45
00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:27,640
You know men used to put women
in this years back
46
00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:29,360
to silence them?
47
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:32,120
If they thought they spoke
too much or too strongly.
48
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:36,360
Yeah. Called them witches.
Paraded them round the streets.
49
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:40,040
You are a stain
on Feythur's legacy.
50
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,360
- You ain't gonna use that.
- Ain't I?
51
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:47,600
Man or fish, Verderer.
52
00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:50,120
A head is a head.
53
00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:51,680
And I've bashed in
a lot of heads.
54
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,720
- Mm.
- Mm.
55
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,400
Ow!
56
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:07,160
Aah! My verruca!
57
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,240
Aah!
58
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:17,160
- Does he remember anything?
- No. Just told him a pot fell.
59
00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,240
- Um...
- Yeah.
60
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:30,040
I haven't really had a chance
to talk to you,
61
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,920
but, uh, thanks for inviting me
last night.
62
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,000
It was really special.
63
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:40,400
And, um, there's something else.
64
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:43,240
The mother tree.
65
00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,360
She's grown a shoot.
66
00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:08,240
Mm. Cycle of life, eh?
67
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:11,120
Yeah.
68
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,920
I think we should celebrate.
69
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,720
Water! Water!
70
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,640
Yeah. We-- Actually, we should
get Verderer to sing, right?
71
00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:23,280
He's got a beautiful voice.
Made himself cry once.
72
00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:25,120
He was on "Stars In Their Eyes"
years back.
73
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,600
But after Gary Glitter
got arrested,
74
00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:27,960
they just buried the episode,
you know?
75
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,400
I think we should just
keep it simple.
76
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,160
Mm.
77
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,240
But he should be there, though.
78
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,320
Do the honours, then, Linda.
79
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,280
So, you had it.
80
00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,840
Well, don't expect
the £100 reward.
81
00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:11,200
Hardly bedtime reading
for the Eel Sisters.
82
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,440
You have no right
talking about Feythur.
83
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,080
Well, I do, actually, what with
him being my dad and all.
84
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:22,800
You may be his biological child,
Linda, but...
85
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,840
...Feythur chose me.
86
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:33,200
He loved me more
than his own flesh and blood.
87
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,440
He left me his book, didn't he?
88
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,800
He'd be proud of me right now.
89
00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:43,520
On the whole.
90
00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:23,680
Gotcha. Oh!
91
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,680
Wow.
92
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:36,040
So, truffles evolved to have
that pungent odour
93
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,280
so that they could be smelt
through layers of soil.
94
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:39,880
Exactly.
95
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:41,360
So that the boar can find them.
96
00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,520
Because the truffle
wants to be found
97
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,320
and eaten and shat out--
to reproduce.
98
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:54,040
So... once a truffle is dug up
and eaten, its work is done.
99
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:55,840
That's right.
100
00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:57,920
The cycle is complete.
101
00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:03,960
Imagine being so in control
of your own destiny...
102
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:07,400
...so sure of your purpose
in life.
103
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:13,480
No truffle has ever lost
its identity...
104
00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:16,800
...had a midlife crisis...
105
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,280
feared the ageing process...
106
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,680
...compared itself
to younger truffles.
107
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:27,880
Being young isn't the best part
of life.
108
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:30,800
And... being older
isn't the worst.
109
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:34,560
They're just... different stages
of the cycle.
110
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,680
Yeah, but being younger
is much better, Linda.
111
00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:41,240
Yeah, it is, isn't it?
112
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,600
I coughed yesterday
and did a little wee.
113
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,960
Well, look who it is.
114
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:52,520
The Verderer has arrived,
which means I'm out of time.
115
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:55,880
So let's hope that today
marks the beginning
116
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:59,840
of a more harmonious period
between the sexes.
117
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,520
Oh.
118
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,800
Bad night, Verderer?
119
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,720
Good morning, good morning,
good morning!
120
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:36,000
The strike may be over,
but the war rages on.
121
00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,680
Who's with me?!
122
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,920
Huh?
Ah.
123
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,440
Uh, let's go to line one.
124
00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:47,360
Line one. Hello.
125
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:50,240
Let's get out of here, eh?
126
00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:58,480
Line t-- Line two.
127
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,600
Line two! Hello.
You're on the air.
128
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,400
Apologies about this, gents.
129
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:09,040
We seem to be having technical
problems with the lines.
130
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:10,680
Line three?
131
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:12,760
Line three, please.
132
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,920
Line three.
133
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,760
Back after this.
134
00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,480
- Oh. There we go.
- Mm!
135
00:11:57,560 --> 00:11:59,560
Thank you.
136
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,080
To the mother tree.
137
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:03,720
- Mother tree.
- Mother tree.
138
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,720
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
139
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,280
Cheers.
140
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,480
You know, we've been
piecing things together,
141
00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:13,400
and we realised that our meythur
left because of your meythur.
142
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:16,560
- Oh?
- I mean, out of all of them,
143
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:18,680
she was the only one
what really made him laugh.
144
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:20,360
Meythur made peace with the sex,
145
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,760
but, of course, Feythur
had shagged half the town.
146
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,280
No, the two of them
laughing together,
147
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:27,680
that felt like the real
betrayal, you know?
148
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,720
Echoing round the forest.
149
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,600
Mm.
150
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:37,120
Sorry. That must have been...
very difficult.
151
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:39,760
It was.
152
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,120
Christ, you swallow loudly,
Linda.
153
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,400
Yes.
Apparently so.
154
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,800
Right.
Gonna get down to the stump.
155
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,520
- That was weird, right?
- It was a bit loud, yeah.
156
00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,600
Should get that seen to.
157
00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:02,720
Linda?
158
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,800
Yeah?
159
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,520
It should have clicked
when I saw your smile.
160
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:11,280
You've got his wonky smile
and his wonky gait.
161
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:16,160
Would be easier to find out
who wasn't Feythur's child,
162
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,440
- wouldn't it?
- Hm.
163
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,720
Don't gloat, Joy, please.
164
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,120
Come to the mother tree
celebration, Jim.
165
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:36,880
No.
166
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,960
Ryan's got a surprise for you.
167
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:43,800
- For me?
- Have a think about it.
168
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:37,720
Thank you.
169
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:54,200
Everything in this forest...
started like this.
170
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:57,800
And this started
beneath our feet...
171
00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:00,400
...on the ground,
172
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:03,960
the fungal networks weaving
their magic through the soil.
173
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:17,320
♪ Free from your past ♪
174
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:20,720
Every living thing has
a natural life cycle.
175
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:23,760
And every living thing dies.
176
00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:27,160
And that's the natural order.
177
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:29,800
And we fear it.
178
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:34,480
But we can learn from the
mushrooms and try to embrace it.
179
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:38,560
Live a life of purpose,
like truffles.
180
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,440
We mourn endings.
181
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:43,960
But we must also celebrate
new beginnings.
182
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,280
May all your transitions
be joyful.
183
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,880
May all your transitions
be joyful.
184
00:15:55,280 --> 00:16:00,320
♪ ...with visions untrue ♪
185
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:10,840
♪ But I own a photograph ♪
186
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:17,360
♪ You lay there naked
upon your back ♪
187
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:25,720
♪ Safe in a stone house
by the sea ♪
188
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:35,760
♪ There's nothing true,
and nothing's real ♪
189
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:42,480
♪ But I remember
one clear feel ♪
190
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:51,360
♪ Warm beneath
your gentle company ♪
191
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:07,240
D-Do you think the soul
is a solid--
192
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,320
you know, like an organ?
193
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,600
Like a liver or a spleen?
194
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,560
Or is it... is it like a gas?
195
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:21,320
Like gas?
196
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,320
Oh, I-I don't think
I'm the right person
197
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,560
to ask about this sort
of bodily thing, Tone.
198
00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:31,400
I've only just found out that I
wee through my urethra...
199
00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:34,160
...and not my... you know.
200
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,480
A-Anyway.
Sorry.
201
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,800
Why did you want to know
about the soul?
202
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:41,360
Oh, 'cause I've been reading
that Desmond Morris, yeah?
203
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:46,000
And he reckons a man's soul
is located in his testicles.
204
00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:47,720
- Really?
- Right?
205
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,600
And a woman's soul is located
in her ovaries. Right?
206
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:54,320
And we become immortal
by reproducing
207
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,520
and passing on our genes.
208
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,560
- Right.
- Mm-hmm.
209
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,840
Desmond Morris
from "Animal Magic"?
210
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,920
No!
That's Johnny Morris.
211
00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,920
- Did he have a chimp?
- They both had chimps.
212
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,280
"They"?
213
00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:14,000
Desmond Morris, zoologist.
Right?
214
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:17,080
- Right.
- Who had a chimp called Congo
215
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,320
that was also an artist, right?
216
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:23,360
And Johnny Morris presented
his TV show from a zoo.
217
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,840
And he had a chimp
that was his friend
218
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,440
Sorry. H-hang on.
219
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:38,760
There's-- There's two blokes
called Morris...
220
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,440
Yes.
221
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,560
...whose jobs both have
the word "zoo" in them.
222
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,200
Yes.
223
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,640
And they both had friends
who were chimps.
224
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:48,760
That's right.
225
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,120
I'm struggling with this.
226
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,200
Menopause.
227
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,400
I don't know nothing
about the menopause.
228
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,480
- Well, you should.
- Mm. Don't affect me.
229
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,640
- Do you know any women?
- I know plenty of women.
230
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,720
Well, then it does affect you,
doesn't it?
231
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:06,560
What?
232
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:08,600
The thing about Desmond Morris, right?
233
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:12,520
If he's right and the soul
is a solid-- right?--
234
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,280
Mm-hmm.
235
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:17,560
...and it is located
in the man's testicles...
236
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:21,240
...I think that I can feel
my soul.
237
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,000
Have you got a lump
in your testicles, Tone?
238
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,040
No.
239
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:33,920
Well, if you have,
then it's not your soul,
240
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,520
and I'd check it immediately.
241
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,480
Well, that's very generous
of you, Linda,
242
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,640
but I think I'll go and see
a doctor.
243
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,160
- Unh.
- Ah!
244
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:57,600
Ah.
There you go.
245
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,760
I thought you were
Grandmeythur's size.
246
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:02,760
- You look just like her.
- Do I have to wear the plait?
247
00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:06,040
'Cause it's really pulling on
my hair, and it's really itchy.
248
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:08,760
Right. Does the rain moan
about being wet, Linda?
249
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,080
It's an honour
to wear Grandmeythur's clothes
250
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:12,560
and hair, Linda.
251
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,960
Be disrespectful
not to wear the whole thing.
252
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:17,120
I am honoured.
Of course.
253
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,440
Right.
Should get going, then, Ags.
254
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:25,040
Oh.
Where are you off to?
255
00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:27,680
Just a few weeks away is all,
Linda.
256
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:32,120
A few weeks?
I can't run the café by myself.
257
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,880
H-How do you even catch an eel?
258
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,520
Just use your hands,
you daft cunt.
259
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,160
Yeah. Don't worry.
260
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,160
You won't be running this place
by yourself, Linda.
261
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,640
No.
We, uh, we made a few calls.
262
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,680
Help is on its way, Linda.
263
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,320
What are you laughing at?
264
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,120
I'm not a cunt, actually.
265
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,200
And it'll be mash and mash
for two weeks.
266
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,280
- Eh?
- Nothing!
267
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:06,160
{\an8}♪ Oh, Sally, my dear,
it's you I'd be kissing ♪
268
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,440
{\an8}♪ She smiled and replied ♪
269
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:12,280
{\an8}♪ "You don't know
what you're missing" ♪
270
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:23,640
{\an8}♪ Oh, Sally, my dear,
I wish I could wed you ♪
271
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:28,040
{\an8}♪ Oh, Sally, my dear,
I wish I could bed you ♪
19767
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof