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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:02,735 PREVIOUSLY ON THE BIG C... 2 00:00:02,736 --> 00:00:04,370 - WHAT'S THIS? - I HAVE A LUMP. 3 00:00:04,371 --> 00:00:05,704 - WHERE? - ON MY ASS. 4 00:00:05,705 --> 00:00:07,439 I REALIZE THIS ALL ISN'T VERY SEXY. 5 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,975 I FIND EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU SEXY. 6 00:00:09,976 --> 00:00:11,010 WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? 7 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,012 SOMEONE TRIED TO STEAL MY SLEEPING BAG. 8 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,247 I WANT TO TAKE CARE OF YOU. PLEASE LET ME DO THAT. 9 00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:17,549 SEAN CAN STAY IN MY HOUSE, AND I CAN'T? 10 00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:19,585 - HE'S SLEEPING IN THE YARD. - I GOT A HAND-JOB. 11 00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:22,554 - WHY DID YOU TELL ME THAT? - SO WE CAN GET PAST IT. 12 00:00:22,555 --> 00:00:24,991 I WAS PAST IT. I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT, PAUL! 13 00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:38,270 ♪ IT'S SO HARD ♪ 14 00:00:38,271 --> 00:00:43,443 ♪ TO TURN YOUR LIFE OVER ♪ 15 00:00:46,012 --> 00:00:46,979 ♪ STEP OUT ♪ 16 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:51,918 ♪ OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE ♪ 17 00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,423 ♪ IS THIS SOME KIND OF A JOKE? ♪ 18 00:00:57,424 --> 00:01:02,227 ♪ WILL SOMEONE WAKE ME UP SOON? ♪ 19 00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:07,666 ♪ AND TELL ME THIS WAS JUST A GAME WE PLAY ♪ 20 00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:12,338 ♪ CALLED LIFE ♪ 21 00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:19,111 DOES YOUR NEW FISH HAVE A NAME? 22 00:01:19,112 --> 00:01:20,946 HIS NAME IS SHUT UP AND STOP MOVING YOUR ASS. 23 00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:23,649 OKAY, CAN I JUST SAY HAVING A LUMP REMOVED 24 00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:25,751 IS ALMOST AS ANNOYING AS HAVING A LUMP. 25 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:28,554 AN HOUR OF SURGERY, A WEEK OF CHANGING BANDAGES, 26 00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:29,688 A MONTH OF SCARRING. 27 00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:31,557 IT'S NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND THIS SUMMER. 28 00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:32,858 BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS 29 00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:34,726 IT'S TAKEN OUR RELATIONSHIP TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL. 30 00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:36,862 THE LEAST I CAN DO FOR FORGETTING 31 00:01:36,863 --> 00:01:39,198 TO PICK YOU UP FROM SURGERY. 32 00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:42,601 YOU KNOW, NOW CANCER IS LITERALLY A PAIN IN MY ASS. 33 00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,536 AREN'T YOU AFRAID OF DYING? 34 00:01:44,537 --> 00:01:46,605 I'M MORE AFRAID OF NOT GETTING EVERYTHING DONE 35 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,240 BEFORE I GO. 36 00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:50,075 NOBODY HAS THAT MUCH TIME. 37 00:01:50,076 --> 00:01:53,178 PULL YOUR PANTS UP NOW. 38 00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:54,713 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD AT THIS. 39 00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:58,750 YEAH, WELL, BETWEEN MY HUSBAND'S COLON CANCER 40 00:01:58,751 --> 00:02:01,987 AND MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER'S LIPO, 41 00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:03,956 I'VE TAKEN CARE OF A LOT OF ASSHOLES. 42 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,158 YOUR YOUNGEST DAUGHTER? 43 00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:07,593 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD ANY. 44 00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:09,394 I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE COME IN HERE. 45 00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:11,230 I HAVE TWO GIRLS. 46 00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:13,999 ONE OF 'EM MARRIED A JEW, AND THE OTHER ONE'S A BULL DYKE. 47 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:17,202 THEY CALL ME ONCE A MONTH, IF I'M LUCKY. 48 00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:20,572 IT'S THE SAME DAMN CONVERSATION EVERY TIME. 49 00:02:20,573 --> 00:02:23,142 HOW'S THE HOUSE? AM I TAKING MY MEDICATION? 50 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:27,212 HOW'S MY HIP? IT'S PATHETIC. 51 00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:29,081 WHAT? 52 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:31,216 NOTHING. I JUST FEEL BAD FOR YOU. 53 00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:32,551 WELL, DON'T. 54 00:02:32,552 --> 00:02:35,187 YOU KICKED YOUR HUSBAND OUT, YOUR KID HATES YOU, 55 00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:36,321 AND YOUR BROTHER'S HOMELESS. 56 00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:37,689 SAVE YOUR TEARS FOR YOURSELF. 57 00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:39,224 HE'S NOT HOMELESS THIS WEEK. 58 00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:41,860 HE'S BEEN SLEEPING IN MY BACK YARD. 59 00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:44,264 YEAH, YOUR LIFE'S FULL OF SUNSHINE. 60 00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:53,672 WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU SAW DAD? 61 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,174 OH, WOW, LET'S SEE. 62 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,242 THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SOMETIME BEFORE I STARTED PRACTICING 63 00:02:57,243 --> 00:02:58,443 I-DON'T-GIVE-A-FUCK-ISM. 64 00:02:58,444 --> 00:03:01,747 I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM SINCE LAST CHRISTMAS. 65 00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:03,582 I DON'T EVEN VISIT HIM ON HIS BIRTHDAY OR FATHER'S DAY. 66 00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:06,251 I JUST SEND CARDS. IT'S RIDICULOUS. 67 00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:08,520 I DON'T WANT HIM TO THINK I'M AVOIDING HIM. 68 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:11,757 YOU ARE AVOIDING HIM. YOU HATE DAD. 69 00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:13,725 HE'S NOT THAT BAD, SEAN. 70 00:03:13,726 --> 00:03:14,760 AS MUCH AS I'D LOVE TO COUNT THE WAYS 71 00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,695 HE TOOK A DUMP ON MY LIFE FOR YOU, 72 00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,597 I REALLY NEED TO GET GOING 73 00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:20,632 BEFORE THE LACK OF NATURAL LIGHT AND AIR IN HERE 74 00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:23,602 IRREPARABLY DAMAGES MY CIRCADIAN RHYTHM. 75 00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:26,438 SO...AHH... 76 00:03:26,439 --> 00:03:28,607 I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR SOMEWHAT TOXIC 77 00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:32,311 BUT ODDLY CHARMING HOSPITALITY THIS PAST WEEK. 78 00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:34,012 WE NEED TO GO SEE DAD. 79 00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:38,150 I'D RATHER MASTURBATE WITH A CHEESE GRATER. 80 00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:40,252 WHERE'S YOUR SUITCASE? 81 00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:42,454 I TOLD YOU WE WERE SPENDING THE NIGHT. 82 00:03:42,455 --> 00:03:43,689 MOM, CAN I JUST SIGN THE CARD, 83 00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,657 AND THEN YOU GO DROP ME OFF AT THE MALL INSTEAD? 84 00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:47,559 THERE IS NO CARD. IT'S NOT HIS BIRTHDAY. 85 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,228 WE'RE JUST VISITING. 86 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,195 THAT'S LAME. 87 00:03:50,196 --> 00:03:51,563 THAT IS NOT A VALID RESPONSE, ADAM. 88 00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,198 I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH GRANDPA. 89 00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:54,433 I TOLD HIM WE WERE ON OUR WAY. 90 00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:55,634 I'M NOT SPENDING THE WHOLE DAY 91 00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:59,071 TRAPPED IN A CAR WITH YOU. 92 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,839 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 93 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,140 THIS IS PROBABLY A HUGE MISTAKE, 94 00:04:02,141 --> 00:04:05,378 BUT I HAVE UNFINISHED BUSINESS AT HOME TOO. 95 00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:09,948 HAPPY? UNCLE SEAN'S GOING. 96 00:04:09,949 --> 00:04:11,650 SO NOW THERE'S A PROTECTIVE LAYER BETWEEN US. 97 00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:13,118 GO. GET YOUR SUITCASE. 98 00:04:13,119 --> 00:04:14,219 BUT I TOLD BRENT AND ALEX THAT I'D 99 00:04:14,220 --> 00:04:16,154 HANG OUT WITH THEM THIS WEEKEND. 100 00:04:16,155 --> 00:04:18,857 YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. 101 00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:21,360 WAIT, YOU'RE JUST LEAVING ME HERE? 102 00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:23,262 YEP. 103 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,064 BUT, MOM, I'M HUNGRY! 104 00:04:26,065 --> 00:04:28,233 WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT? 105 00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:29,901 WAY TO GO, SIS. 106 00:04:29,902 --> 00:04:33,372 IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU FINALLY CUTTING ADAM'S UMBILICAL CORD. 107 00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:34,640 WHEN HE GETS HUNGRY ENOUGH, 108 00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:36,942 HIS NATURAL SURVIVAL INSTINCT WILL KICK IN, 109 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,343 IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY BEAT IT OUT OF HIM. 110 00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:40,879 YEAH, RIGHT. 111 00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:45,884 CATHY, YOU FINALLY DECIDED TO RETURN MY CALLS. 112 00:04:45,885 --> 00:04:47,019 THANK YOU. 113 00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:49,121 OH, I DIDN'T MEAN THAT IN A SNARKY WAY. 114 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,923 I KNOW SOMETIMES I USE SARCASM AS A WEAPON. 115 00:04:51,924 --> 00:04:53,525 ARE YOU STILL SEEING THAT THERAPIST? 116 00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:54,660 I DON'T KNOW, CATHY. 117 00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:56,328 AM I STILL SLEEPING ON MY SISTER'S COUCH 118 00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:57,296 FOR NO APPARENT REASON? 119 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,831 OH, THAT WAS SNARKY. 120 00:04:59,832 --> 00:05:01,233 THAT'S WHY I HAD TO SEE ANGELA TODAY. 121 00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:03,468 YOU SEE, I'M LASHING OUT AT YOU 122 00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:06,071 BECAUSE, OBVIOUSLY, I'M HAVING A HARD TIME COPING 123 00:05:06,072 --> 00:05:08,273 WITH THE FACT THAT I WENT OUTSIDE THE BONDS OF MARRIAGE 124 00:05:08,274 --> 00:05:09,975 FOR SEXUAL GRATIFICATION. 125 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,943 OKAY, I'M GONNA GO VISIT MY DAD THIS WEEKEND, 126 00:05:11,944 --> 00:05:14,313 SO IF YOU'RE NOT TO BUSY GETTING A HAND-JOB, 127 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,081 WOULD YOU GO PICK UP ADAM AND WATCH HIM WHILE I'M GONE? 128 00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:17,249 IN FAIRNESS TO ME, 129 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,618 ANGELA SAYS THE HAND-JOB ONLY HAPPENED 130 00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:22,120 BECAUSE MY SELF IS SPLITTING. 131 00:05:22,121 --> 00:05:23,989 WELL, WOULD AT LEAST ONE HALF OF YOUR SELF 132 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,123 GO PICK UP OUR SON? 133 00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:27,926 THANKS. 134 00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:29,695 WHAT'S WITH THE 12-PACK? 135 00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:31,496 IS THAT HOW YOU'RE INTENDING TO GET THROUGH THIS VISIT? 136 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:34,766 NO, IT'S FOR DAD. IT'S HIS FAVORITE BRAND. 137 00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:36,535 BUT HE NEVER BUYS IT BECAUSE IT'S TOO EXPENSIVE. 138 00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:41,406 OH, SO YOU'RE BUYING HIS LOVE. THAT'S NICE. 139 00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:44,810 THANK YOU FOR COMING WITH ME, SEAN. 140 00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:46,244 I KNOW THIS ISN'T EASY FOR YOU, 141 00:05:46,245 --> 00:05:48,613 AND I THINK IT IS INCREDIBLY BIG OF YOU 142 00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:50,916 TO MAKE AMENDS WITH DAD. 143 00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:52,918 MAKE AMENDS? WITH THAT ASSHOLE? 144 00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:54,753 FUCK HIM! 145 00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:56,788 I'M ONLY GOING TO DIG UP THE TIME CAPSULE 146 00:05:56,789 --> 00:05:58,924 I BURIED IN THE BACKYARD WHEN I WAS 15. 147 00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:01,660 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? A TIME CAPSULE? 148 00:06:01,661 --> 00:06:03,128 DON'T YELL AT ME JUST BECAUSE 149 00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:07,200 YOUR LITTLE BORING-BETTY BRAIN DIDN'T THINK OF IT. 150 00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:11,370 GENERALLY SPEAKING, IT IS EASIER FOR A WOMAN 151 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,605 TO FEEL AND BE IN HER BODY. 152 00:06:13,606 --> 00:06:15,741 SO SHE'S NATURALLY CLOSER TO BEING, 153 00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:18,176 AND POTENTIALLY CLOSER TO ENLIGHTENMENT-- 154 00:06:18,177 --> 00:06:21,380 ECKHART TOLLE HAS HELPED A LOT OF PEOPLE. 155 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:25,083 OH, IS THIS BALL-SHRINKER HELPING YOU? 156 00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:27,986 IS THAT WHY YOU'RE ON A QUEST TO BE THE PERFECT DAUGHTER? 157 00:06:27,987 --> 00:06:29,388 FOR YOUR INFORMATION, 158 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,289 MOST FAMILIES CONSIDER VISITING YOUR FATHER 159 00:06:31,290 --> 00:06:35,093 NORMAL BEHAVIOR. 160 00:06:35,094 --> 00:06:37,129 YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW, DO YOU? 161 00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:40,532 OH, GOD. 162 00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:44,102 I THOUGHT MAYBE HE WAS DOING THE SAME THING TO YOU. 163 00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:46,671 MAYBE I WAS JUST HOPING I WASN'T ALONE. 164 00:06:46,672 --> 00:06:49,441 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 165 00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:51,476 GOD, CATH... 166 00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:53,545 I KNOW YOU'VE ALWAYS LOOKED UP TO DAD. 167 00:06:53,546 --> 00:06:55,547 YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN HIS-- 168 00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:58,650 HIS LITTLE GOODY TWO-SHOES. 169 00:06:58,651 --> 00:07:00,252 FRANKLY, I WAS TOO MUCH OF A WUSS 170 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,954 TO WANT TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE. 171 00:07:02,955 --> 00:07:05,424 BUT SINCE WE ARE FINALLY TALKING ABOUT IT, 172 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:09,728 YOU SHOULD KNOW. 173 00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:13,465 DAD MOLESTED ME. 174 00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:15,734 JESUS, SEAN... 175 00:07:15,735 --> 00:07:18,271 ARE YOU SERIOUS? 176 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:25,243 GOD, YOU--YOU-- DON'T DO THAT! 177 00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:29,414 YOU STOP! STOP, STOP, STOP DOING THAT! 178 00:07:29,415 --> 00:07:31,683 YOU--YOU'RE LIKE A REALLY LOW-HANGING FRUIT. 179 00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:33,151 YOU'RE SICK. 180 00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:34,419 YOU'RE LIKE A LOW-HANGING FRUIT 181 00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:36,321 ON A DWARF FRUIT TREE. 182 00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:58,276 OH! OH! 183 00:07:58,277 --> 00:08:01,279 DAMN, YOU JUST GOT SCHOOLED, MR. JAMISON. 184 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,448 HEY, UNLESS YOU'RE AUDITING MY TAXES, 185 00:08:03,449 --> 00:08:04,783 YOU CALL ME PAUL. 186 00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:06,585 NO, YOU KNOW, BETTER YET, CALL ME PAULIE. 187 00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:08,920 THANK YOU. 188 00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:11,323 - DUDE, WE GOTTA BOUNCE. - SEE YA, MAN. 189 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,493 OH, HOW CONVENIENT--BOUNCING WHEN I'M JUST GETTING WARMED UP. 190 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,560 THIS AIN'T OVER, JOSH. 191 00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:17,429 THANKS, MR.-- PAULIE. 192 00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:19,464 SEE YOU, GUYS. 193 00:08:19,465 --> 00:08:22,501 I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST TO MY SON 194 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,669 AND HIS AWESOME GAMING PROWESS. 195 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:28,240 TODAY, YOU ARE A MAN. 196 00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:30,675 YES! 197 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:32,844 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? 198 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,045 YOU SAID I WAS A MAN NOW, SO-- 199 00:08:34,046 --> 00:08:36,281 YEAH, WELL, UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU, 200 00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:37,716 IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, 201 00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:40,986 A 14-YEAR-OLD MAN STILL CANNOT DRINK. 202 00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:42,487 BUT IF YOU'RE GONNA DRINK ALCOHOL, BUDDY, 203 00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:44,289 I'D FEEL A HECK OF A LOT BETTER 204 00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:47,659 IF YOU DO IT WITH AN ADULT PRESENT, OKAY? 205 00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:53,098 SO IN LIGHT OF YOUR AWESOME DRIVING SKILLS, 206 00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:57,235 I HEREBY ENTITLE YOU... TO HAVE A BEER. 207 00:08:57,236 --> 00:09:01,874 SERIOUSLY? 208 00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:20,659 JUST SO YOU KNOW, I WAS NOT A GOODY TWO-SHOES. 209 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:22,928 I SMOKED MY FIRST CIGARETTE IN GIRL SCOUTS. 210 00:09:22,929 --> 00:09:26,965 OH, GOD, THAT CONVERSATION'S SO TEN MILES AGO--LET IT GO. 211 00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:28,533 ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT 212 00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:30,468 WE BOTH DID THINGS TO GET DAD'S ATTENTION. 213 00:09:30,469 --> 00:09:32,504 MY THING WAS TO BE PERFECT. 214 00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:34,606 YOUR THING WAS TO BE A JUVENILE DELINQUENT. 215 00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:38,143 MY THING WAS MORE FUN. 216 00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,344 GIVE ME A BEER. 217 00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:40,979 WHAT? 218 00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:42,681 YOU HEARD ME. 219 00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:44,816 GIVE ME ONE OF DAD'S BEERS. 220 00:09:44,817 --> 00:09:46,551 I'M THIRSTY, I'M TIRED, 221 00:09:46,552 --> 00:09:48,320 MAYBE A LITTLE TENSE, 222 00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:52,757 AND I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A FUCKING BEER...IN THE CAR! 223 00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:55,327 WELL, WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE YOUR PERSONALITY 224 00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:57,896 MORE TOLERABLE. 225 00:09:57,897 --> 00:09:59,599 BUT YOU DRIVE. 226 00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:07,839 HERE. HERE. 227 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,241 WOW, THE LAST TIME I DROVE A CAR, 228 00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:12,044 REAGAN WAS IGNORING AIDS. 229 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,686 WHOA, THAT'S FUEL INJECTION! 230 00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:25,958 THAT IS ONE AMAZING WOMAN. 231 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,630 YOU AND ME ARE TWO LUCKY GUYS. 232 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,498 YEAH, REAL LUCKY, DAD. 233 00:10:33,499 --> 00:10:35,433 SHE KICKED YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE. THAT'S FUCKED UP. 234 00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:37,035 YOU'RE TOO HARD ON YOUR MOM. 235 00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:39,204 YOU GOTTA CUT HER SOME SLACK. 236 00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:41,006 I KNOW SHE CAN BE ANNOYING, 237 00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:43,441 BUT IT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU'RE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING 238 00:10:43,442 --> 00:10:44,809 IN THE WORLD TO HER. 239 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:47,445 HEY, DAD, WANNA PLAY ANOTHER VIDEO GAME NOW? 240 00:10:47,446 --> 00:10:52,684 WHOO, THAT CATHY, SHE'S WHAT YOU CALL A CATCH. 241 00:10:52,685 --> 00:10:56,121 EWW, DAD. 242 00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:59,958 MY FRIENDS SAID SHE MIGHT SLEEP WITH ME, 243 00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:03,328 "BUT NO WAY IN HELL A GAL LIKE THAT 244 00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:07,866 WILL EVER MARRY A GUY LIKE YOU." 245 00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:09,034 AND THEN SHE DID. 246 00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:12,237 OH, IT WAS SO AWESOME. 247 00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:17,742 OOH, DOESN'T YOUR MOM HAVE AMAZING TITS? 248 00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:21,212 OH... 249 00:11:21,213 --> 00:11:24,249 HOW'D I FUCK IT UP SO BAD? 250 00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:28,420 I'M SO FUCKING FUCKED. 251 00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:30,155 I MISS HER SO MUCH IT HURTS. 252 00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:37,396 WHOO! 253 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:41,933 WHY ARE WE STOPPING? 254 00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:44,069 YOU'LL SEE. 255 00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:46,237 NO FUCKING WAY. 256 00:11:46,238 --> 00:11:49,574 YOU THINK THIS SIGN WILL FIT IN THE BACK OF YOUR CAR? 257 00:11:49,575 --> 00:11:53,278 WHAT? 258 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,949 THAT'S JUST SUCH A DINGLEBERRY THING TO DO. 259 00:11:57,950 --> 00:12:01,352 OH, YEAH, YOU PROBABLY DON'T HAVE THE DINGLEBERRIES 260 00:12:01,353 --> 00:12:05,590 TO DO IT. 261 00:12:05,591 --> 00:12:07,158 OW. 262 00:12:07,159 --> 00:12:08,193 OW! 263 00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:48,366 I'M FAMISHED. 264 00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:50,669 BEING A SIGN STEALER IS EXHAUSTING. 265 00:12:52,671 --> 00:12:55,174 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? - FOOD! 266 00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:01,379 HOW CAN YOU DO THAT? 267 00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:03,481 OVER 50% OF THE FOOD 268 00:13:03,482 --> 00:13:06,451 WE HARVEST IN THIS COUNTRY GETS THROWN AWAY. 269 00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:08,353 EXPIRATION DATES ARE BULLSHIT. 270 00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:12,090 THIS BOX OF LITTLE DEBBIES IS HERMETICALLY SEALED. 271 00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:14,592 DO LITTLE DEBBIES EVEN HAVE EXPIRATION DATES? 272 00:13:14,593 --> 00:13:15,593 I DON'T THINK SO. 273 00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:19,532 GOLDEN CREMES. I LOVE GOLDEN CREMES. 274 00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:23,668 OH, MY GOD! IS THAT A CANNED HAM? 275 00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:25,871 MM-HMM. 276 00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:33,144 MADE FRESH TODAY. 277 00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:37,515 HA! I CAN'T BELIEVE I DUMPSTER DOVE. 278 00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:39,918 I'M A DUMPSTER DIVER. 279 00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:41,419 I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M EATING TRASH. 280 00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:42,487 IT'S TOTALLY WEIRD. 281 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:44,088 PASS THE CARROTS, PLEASE. 282 00:13:44,089 --> 00:13:48,526 NOW, WHY WOULD THEY THROW OUT A WHOLE BOX OF LITTLE DEBBIES? 283 00:13:48,527 --> 00:13:51,629 THE BOX WAS DENTED. PASS THE PEAS. 284 00:13:51,630 --> 00:13:54,766 YOU KNOW MOM TURNED ME ON TO THESE? 285 00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,100 THESE WERE HER FAVORITES. 286 00:13:56,101 --> 00:13:59,470 AT LEAST TILL DAD TOLD HER THEY WERE MAKING HER FAT. 287 00:13:59,471 --> 00:14:00,839 THAT JERK MADE SURE NONE OF US WAS HAPPY 288 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,274 LONG ENOUGH TO ENJOY ANYTHING. 289 00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:04,175 I WAS HAPPY. 290 00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:06,578 HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE HAPPY 291 00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,379 BENDING OVER BACKWARD TRYING TO PLEASE HIM? 292 00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:12,217 YOU KNOW WHO MANAGED TO PLEASE DAD? SHARON. 293 00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:14,819 PRETTY BALLSY OF HIM TO FUCK AROUND WITH HER 294 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:16,421 WHILE MOM WAS LAID UP IN THE HOSPITAL. 295 00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:17,922 WHO DOES THAT? 296 00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:22,994 WHO CHEATS WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE SOMEBODY WHO LOVES YOU? 297 00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:25,363 IS THAT IT? 298 00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:26,865 WE DON'T KNOW HE HAD AN AFFAIR. 299 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:30,568 OH, SURE, MAYBE DAD WAS SUCH A FUCKING ROMANTIC 300 00:14:30,569 --> 00:14:33,338 THAT HE FELL IN LOVE AND GOT MARRIED 301 00:14:33,339 --> 00:14:35,039 THREE MONTHS AFTER MOM DIED. 302 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,475 THAT'S TOTALLY REASONABLE. - IT WAS 25 YEARS AGO. 303 00:14:37,476 --> 00:14:39,244 DAD NEEDED SOMEONE. SHARON WAS THERE. 304 00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:43,481 YOU AND MOM, YOU BOTH JUST LET HIM SHUT YOU DOWN. 305 00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:45,850 FOR YEARS, SHE WANTED TO VISIT NEW ORLEANS. 306 00:14:45,851 --> 00:14:46,885 HE WOULDN'T SPEND THE MONEY. 307 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,019 HE MARRIED SHARON, 308 00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:49,621 TOOK HER THERE ON THEIR HONEYMOON. 309 00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,590 SHARON HAD HOTEL VOUCHERS. 310 00:14:54,193 --> 00:14:55,627 DO YOU HATE ME... 311 00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,662 FOR TRYING TO MAKE PEACE BETWEEN YOU AND HIM? 312 00:14:57,663 --> 00:14:59,664 DO YOU HATE ME FOR TRYING 313 00:14:59,665 --> 00:15:03,134 TO GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS? 314 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,975 MAN, YOU GET A LOT OF CALLS. 315 00:15:13,178 --> 00:15:14,313 SLOW DOWN! 316 00:15:19,351 --> 00:15:22,655 HEY, KID, ARE YOU DEAD? 317 00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:29,794 JESUS H. CHRIST! WHERE'S YOUR MOTHER? 318 00:15:29,795 --> 00:15:32,730 IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. 319 00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:34,265 MY DAD'S HERE. EVERYTHING'S FINE. 320 00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:37,136 EVERYTHING IS COOL. 321 00:15:47,846 --> 00:15:50,181 SEAN! 322 00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:55,720 HE SAW MY ASS. 323 00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:07,665 JUST SO YOU KNOW, TALL GRASS-- 324 00:16:07,666 --> 00:16:09,167 NOT IDEAL FOR A SQUATTING WOMAN. 325 00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:12,904 WHO'S LENNY? 326 00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:15,373 OH, CRAP. 327 00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:19,444 WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, CATHY? ARE YOU FUCKING THIS GUY? 328 00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:21,412 YOU FUCKING AROUND ON PAUL? 329 00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:24,916 YES. YES, I AM. 330 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:25,950 YES. 331 00:16:25,951 --> 00:16:29,220 JESUS, CATHY, YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE. 332 00:16:29,221 --> 00:16:30,788 HERE I AM DEFENDING YOU 333 00:16:30,789 --> 00:16:33,291 AGAINST YOUR JERKWAD HUSBAND FOR YEARS, 334 00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:36,060 AND--AND THE WHOLE TIME YOU'RE HAVING A FUCKING AFFAIR? 335 00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:38,696 NOT THE WHOLE TIME, AND IT'S NOT AS SIMPLE AS THAT. 336 00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:42,468 CAN'T ANYBODY TELL THE FUCKING TRUTH? 337 00:16:46,238 --> 00:16:49,607 YOU'RE A FUCKING LIAR AND A FUCKING COWARD. 338 00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:53,679 AND YOU'RE JUST LIKE DAD. 339 00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:57,415 STILL THINK I'M A GOODY TWO-SHOES? 340 00:16:57,416 --> 00:16:59,217 STILL THINK I CAN'T BE WILD AND CRAZY? 341 00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:00,752 WELL, THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, SEAN. 342 00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:03,388 MY CAUTION IS OFFICIALLY THROWN TO THE WIND. 343 00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:05,524 FUCK YOU, CATHY. 344 00:17:19,438 --> 00:17:21,272 ♪ GOLDEN RINGS ♪ 345 00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:23,441 ♪ AROUND YOUR HEAD ♪ 346 00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:28,079 ♪ NEVER SHOW ♪ 347 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:31,482 ♪ WE DON'T SEEM LIKE OURSELVES ♪ 348 00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:34,352 ♪ ANYMORE ♪ 349 00:17:34,353 --> 00:17:37,121 ♪ NEVER REALLY TAKES A LOT ♪ 350 00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:40,658 ♪ TO LOSE YOU ♪ 351 00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:49,167 ♪ MAKE A WISH ♪ 352 00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:51,969 ♪ UPON A FALLING STAR ♪ 353 00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:54,238 - WHERE ARE YOU GOING? - I'M GETTING MY TIME CAPSULE. 354 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:57,442 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU'RE NOT GONNA COME IN? 355 00:17:57,443 --> 00:18:00,144 DAD! 356 00:18:00,145 --> 00:18:01,779 HI, HI. 357 00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:03,915 THANKS FOR THE GINGER ALE. 358 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:07,518 AND...I'M SORRY I PUKED IT UP ON YOUR RUG. 359 00:18:07,519 --> 00:18:11,389 THE RESEMBLANCE BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR FATHER IS UNCANNY. 360 00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:14,192 GO TO YOUR ROOM AND GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP. 361 00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:16,127 BUT FIRST THING YOU'RE DOING IN THE MORNING 362 00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:17,361 IS CLEAN THIS CRAP UP. 363 00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:18,596 I KNOW. 364 00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:25,203 ♪ I DON'T HAVE TO SAY A LOT TO LOSE YOU ♪ 365 00:18:25,204 --> 00:18:27,672 WAKE UP, YOU BIG LUSH! 366 00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:29,774 I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE LIVING HERE OR ON THE MOON. 367 00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:31,776 BEING A FATHER'S NOT A PART-TIME JOB. 368 00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:35,680 YOU CAN'T QUIT EVERY TIME YOU FEEL LIKE TYING ONE ON. 369 00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:41,352 YOUR KID'S SICK, AND THIS PLACE SMELLS LIKE RAW SEWAGE. 370 00:18:41,353 --> 00:18:44,823 TAKE CARE OF IT. 371 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:54,932 I'D OFFER YOU SOMETHING TO EAT, 372 00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:56,701 BUT SHARON'S OUT AT HER BRIDGE GAME. 373 00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:58,536 OH, THAT'S OKAY, DAD. 374 00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:04,509 CAN WE TURN THE TV OFF FOR A LITTLE BIT? 375 00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:06,811 I JUST-- I WANTED TO CATCH UP-- 376 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,714 AW, HONEY, IT'S A BIG GAME. 377 00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:13,551 HOW ARE YOU DOING HEALTH-WISE? 378 00:19:13,552 --> 00:19:14,685 YOU STILL TAKING YOUR LIPITOR? 379 00:19:14,686 --> 00:19:17,455 - EVERY MORNING. - AND HOW'S THAT KNEE? 380 00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:21,626 GET THAT GUY OUT OF THERE! 381 00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:24,529 DADDY... 382 00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:28,533 PAUL AND I ARE SEPARATED. 383 00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:32,003 OH, BOY. 384 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,638 YOU GOTTA WORK THAT OUT. 385 00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:37,341 I REALLY DON'T SEE YOU DOING MUCH BETTER THAN PAUL. 386 00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:39,510 EXCUSE ME? 387 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:41,379 SWEET PEA, YOU HAVE TO BE REALISTIC, THAT'S ALL. 388 00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:44,582 YOU'RE A 44-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. YOUR OPTIONS ARE NOT GREAT. 389 00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:46,284 42. 390 00:19:46,285 --> 00:19:49,086 AND--AND WHO KNOWS WHAT I CAN ACHIEVE? 391 00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:51,189 WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY, HONEY? 392 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,824 YOU COME HERE, TELL ME YOU'RE DIVORCED... 393 00:19:53,825 --> 00:19:56,194 NO, SEPARATED. AND NOT EVEN OFFICIALLY. 394 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,429 IF YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE THINGS, YOU BETTER START PLANNING 395 00:19:58,430 --> 00:19:59,363 FOR YOUR OLD AGE. 396 00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:01,933 I'LL TRY AND KEEP THAT IN MIND. 397 00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:05,904 LIKE I SAY, JUST BE REALISTIC, THAT'S ALL. 398 00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:09,840 I THOUGHT THIS WOULD GO DIFFERENTLY. 399 00:20:09,841 --> 00:20:11,509 WELL, YOU SHOULD LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS. 400 00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:14,413 ALL I EXPECTED WAS A CONVERSATION. 401 00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:19,884 THIS COULD BE THE LAST TIME I SEE YOU. 402 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:23,154 HEY...EASY. 403 00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:24,589 I'M NOT THAT OLD. 404 00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:27,325 IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU, DAD. 405 00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:31,929 WE DROVE A LONG WAY TO VISIT YOU. 406 00:20:31,930 --> 00:20:34,799 WELL, YOU'RE HERE NOW. WHAT DO YOU WANT, A PARTY? 407 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,500 NO, ALL I WANT IS SOME INDICATION 408 00:20:36,501 --> 00:20:38,402 THAT YOU ARE HAPPY TO SEE ME. 409 00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:40,238 AND THAT YOU'D BE SAD IF I WERE GONE. 410 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:45,042 CATHY, I'M REALLY HAPPY YOU'RE HERE. 411 00:20:45,043 --> 00:20:47,645 WELCOME HOME. 412 00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:50,082 IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? 413 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,522 SO WHAT IF I HAD HIGH EXPECTATIONS? 414 00:20:58,523 --> 00:21:00,391 SO WHAT? 415 00:21:00,392 --> 00:21:03,427 AT LEAST ONE OF US HAD DREAMS FOR ME. 416 00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:05,763 NO ONE WAS ALLOWED TO DREAM IN THIS HOUSE. 417 00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:08,966 THE ONLY DREAM MOM EVER HAD WAS TO GO TO NEW ORLEANS. 418 00:21:08,967 --> 00:21:12,536 YOU KILLED THAT FOR HER, AND NOW SHE'S IN THE FIREPLACE! 419 00:21:12,537 --> 00:21:13,437 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THAT? 420 00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:14,839 IT'S DECORATIVE. WE NEVER USE IT. 421 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,540 YOU TOLD ME NOT WASTE THAT APPLICATION FEE 422 00:21:16,541 --> 00:21:18,109 ON THAT COLLEGE THAT WAS OUT OF STATE 423 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,278 BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T THINK THAT I COULD GET IN. 424 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,912 YOU MADE EVERYBODY JUST TAP DANCE AROUND YOU 425 00:21:21,913 --> 00:21:23,180 FOR YOUR APPROVAL. 426 00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:27,518 AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE SAD THING IS? 427 00:21:27,519 --> 00:21:29,353 YOU HAVE A GREAT FAMILY. 428 00:21:29,354 --> 00:21:31,088 YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THEM. 429 00:21:31,089 --> 00:21:36,494 SEAN IS SO MUCH MORE AMAZING THAN YOU COULD EVER COMPREHEND. 430 00:21:36,495 --> 00:21:40,164 HE CAN PULL AN ENTIRE MEAL OUT OF A DUMPSTER. 431 00:21:40,165 --> 00:21:44,835 AND MORE THAN THAT... HE'S HONEST. 432 00:21:44,836 --> 00:21:47,371 AND HE CARES. 433 00:21:47,372 --> 00:21:51,642 WHICH IS MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR YOU. 434 00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:53,611 I CAME HERE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING, 435 00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:56,347 AND HERE IT IS-- 436 00:21:56,348 --> 00:21:59,583 I LOVE YOU... 437 00:21:59,584 --> 00:22:03,121 AND YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE! 438 00:22:11,396 --> 00:22:12,630 WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT? 439 00:22:12,631 --> 00:22:14,932 WHAT'S THE SCORE, ASSHOLE? 440 00:22:14,933 --> 00:22:19,171 MINNESOTA'S AHEAD 5-2, JACKASS. 441 00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:27,345 WOW...1982. 442 00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:30,314 THIS IS GONNA BE, LIKE, TOTALLY RAD! 443 00:22:30,315 --> 00:22:34,285 HEH HEH. NOW, THAT IS A THING-O-BEAUTY! 444 00:22:34,286 --> 00:22:36,153 THAT'S IT? 445 00:22:36,154 --> 00:22:38,823 THAT'S YOUR ENTIRE TIME CAPSULE? 446 00:22:38,824 --> 00:22:42,693 WHAT, A POLAROID AND A 28-YEAR-OLD DOOBIE? 447 00:22:42,694 --> 00:22:46,030 - BUT IT TAKES ME BACK. - WHO IS THIS? 448 00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:49,800 WHAT DOES SHE HAVE IN HER MOU-- 449 00:22:49,801 --> 00:22:51,035 IS THAT YOUR PENIS? 450 00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:53,404 OH, GROSS, SEAN! 451 00:22:53,405 --> 00:22:57,074 YEAH, THE '80s REALLY SUCKED FOR ME. 452 00:22:57,075 --> 00:22:59,577 HEY, THAT WASN'T HALF BAD 453 00:22:59,578 --> 00:23:00,745 WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT ME AT DAD'S. 454 00:23:00,746 --> 00:23:02,480 DON'T LET IT GO TO YOUR HEAD. 455 00:23:02,481 --> 00:23:06,451 OH, YOU MEAN THE FACT THAT ♪ YOU THINK I'M AMAZING ♪ ? 456 00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:18,929 BON VOYAGE, MOM. 457 00:23:18,930 --> 00:23:24,301 FIRST-CLASS TRIP DOWN THE MISSISSIPPI. 458 00:23:24,302 --> 00:23:26,937 SHE'LL BE IN NEW ORLEANS BY MONDAY. 459 00:23:26,938 --> 00:23:30,442 COVERED IN BRITISH OIL. 460 00:23:36,581 --> 00:23:38,716 YOU WANT TO BE CREMATED WHEN YOU DIE? 461 00:23:38,717 --> 00:23:41,118 I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT OUT TO BE EATEN BY COYOTES. 462 00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:44,188 I KNOW--I KNOW LOGICALLY IT MAKES SENSE TO BE CREMATED, 463 00:23:44,189 --> 00:23:46,357 BUT I JUST CANT GET PAST THE FACT 464 00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:47,825 THAT YOU'RE BEING BURNED, 465 00:23:47,826 --> 00:23:49,660 AND HOW PAINFUL THAT WOULD BE 466 00:23:49,661 --> 00:23:52,129 IF BY SOME FLUKE YOU COULD FEEL IT. 467 00:23:52,130 --> 00:23:55,032 I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE BURIAL. 468 00:23:55,033 --> 00:23:58,569 I DON'T KNOW, IT'S HARD TO DECIDE. 469 00:23:58,570 --> 00:23:59,804 WHAT'S THE BIG RUSH? 470 00:23:59,805 --> 00:24:02,206 IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE GONNA DIE TOMORROW. 471 00:24:05,043 --> 00:24:06,777 I'M SICK, SEAN. 472 00:24:06,778 --> 00:24:09,046 I KNOW. AREN'T WE ALL? 473 00:24:09,047 --> 00:24:12,349 I HAVE CANCER. 474 00:24:12,350 --> 00:24:14,485 WHAT? 475 00:24:14,486 --> 00:24:16,987 I'M SORRY TO BLURT IT OUT LIKE THAT. 476 00:24:16,988 --> 00:24:19,890 WHEN I SAY IT IN MY HEAD, IT SOUNDS A LOT MORE ELOQUENT. 477 00:24:19,891 --> 00:24:25,529 BUT IT TURNS OUT QUIET DIGNITY IS HARD TO DO OUT LOUD. 478 00:24:25,530 --> 00:24:28,165 SO THAT'S IT. 479 00:24:28,166 --> 00:24:30,501 I HAVE CANCER. 480 00:24:30,502 --> 00:24:33,839 MELANOMA, TO BE EXACT, AND I'M DYING. 481 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,441 ARE YOU GONNA DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT? 482 00:24:37,442 --> 00:24:42,079 OTHER THAN EAT MORE SWEETS, NOT REALLY. 483 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:45,383 I'VE LOOKED INTO IT. THE OPTIONS AREN'T GOOD. 484 00:24:47,752 --> 00:24:50,654 JESUS, CATHY. 485 00:24:50,655 --> 00:24:52,724 JESUS! 486 00:24:58,697 --> 00:25:02,633 WELL, OKAY. OKAY. 487 00:25:02,634 --> 00:25:05,202 OKAY. 488 00:25:05,203 --> 00:25:06,937 WELL, PEOPLE DIE. 489 00:25:06,938 --> 00:25:08,839 YOU KNOW, IT'S A GUARANTEE. 490 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:12,476 SOMETHING IS GOING TO GET YOU. NOW YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS. 491 00:25:12,477 --> 00:25:14,078 ME, I'M IN THE DARK. 492 00:25:14,079 --> 00:25:16,046 BUT PEOPLE DIE. 493 00:25:16,047 --> 00:25:17,481 THAT'S THE WAY IT WORKS. 494 00:25:17,482 --> 00:25:19,683 PEOPLE--YOU JUST-- YOU'RE GONNA DIE, 495 00:25:19,684 --> 00:25:21,318 AND IT'S GONNA SUCK, 496 00:25:21,319 --> 00:25:24,088 BECAUSE I WAS JUST STARTING TO FIGURE YOU OUT, SIS. 497 00:25:24,089 --> 00:25:27,492 YOU KNOW? I WAS JUST-- 498 00:25:29,995 --> 00:25:34,365 I WAS JUST STARTING TO UNDERSTAND... 499 00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:37,635 THAT YOU'RE THE ONLY THING I HAVE IN THIS WORLD. 500 00:25:37,636 --> 00:25:39,804 OH, GOD! 501 00:25:46,411 --> 00:25:48,847 OH, GOD! 502 00:26:08,033 --> 00:26:11,635 YOU THINK I'M A LOW-HANGING FRUIT? 503 00:26:11,636 --> 00:26:13,304 OH, YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW. 504 00:26:15,206 --> 00:26:18,543 WAIT...WHAT... ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME? 505 00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:25,015 YOU'RE GOOD. 506 00:26:26,051 --> 00:26:28,586 GOD, I NEARLY-- 507 00:26:28,587 --> 00:26:32,723 I REALLY-- I MEAN, YOU ALMOST-- 508 00:26:32,724 --> 00:26:38,095 OH...THAT WAS GOOD! 509 00:26:38,096 --> 00:26:40,097 WHY DON'T WE SPARK UP THAT DOOBIE? 510 00:26:40,098 --> 00:26:41,866 YES. 511 00:26:49,674 --> 00:26:53,410 ♪ I'M LYING WIDE OPEN ♪ 512 00:26:53,411 --> 00:26:57,181 ♪ ON THE HIGH WATER MARK ♪ 513 00:27:00,251 --> 00:27:03,754 ♪ LEFT BY THE OCEAN ♪ 514 00:27:03,755 --> 00:27:07,891 ♪ ABANDONED BY THE TIDE ♪ 515 00:27:10,095 --> 00:27:13,864 ♪ I'M BEACH TAR AND TIN CANS ♪ 516 00:27:13,865 --> 00:27:17,868 ♪ I'M DRIFTWOOD BLEACHED TO STRAW ♪ 517 00:27:20,071 --> 00:27:23,141 ♪ I'M SEAWEED AND WET SAND ♪ 36920

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