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1
00:00:02,234 --> 00:00:04,436
[ Theme music playing ]
2
00:00:04,503 --> 00:00:07,173
[ Laughs ]
3
00:00:07,239 --> 00:00:08,975
[ Lever clicks ]
4
00:00:09,042 --> 00:00:16,042
♪♪
5
00:00:17,716 --> 00:00:19,985
Man: It's alive!
6
00:00:20,052 --> 00:00:21,854
[ Robot chicken clucking ]
7
00:00:21,921 --> 00:00:27,760
♪♪
8
00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:30,163
[ Laughing evilly ]
9
00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:37,230
♪♪
10
00:00:37,236 --> 00:00:38,804
[ Rattling and hissing ]
11
00:00:38,871 --> 00:00:42,474
[ Percussion cacophony plays ]
12
00:00:42,541 --> 00:00:44,543
Do you have any idea
how embarrassing it isss
13
00:00:44,610 --> 00:00:47,446
that other rattlesnakes know
that I'm related to you?
14
00:00:47,513 --> 00:00:49,882
[ Engine rumbling ]
15
00:00:49,949 --> 00:00:51,783
Whoa, buddy!
Where's your parachute?!
16
00:00:51,850 --> 00:00:54,153
I bet my friends 50 bucks
that penguins could fly
17
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,989
if they were motivated enough,
so here goes!
18
00:00:57,056 --> 00:00:58,557
That literally makes
no sense,
19
00:00:58,624 --> 00:01:00,893
and you should wear a parachute
because you're wrong.
20
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,394
Didn't you see
"Dark Knight Rises"?
21
00:01:02,460 --> 00:01:04,330
You're only motivated
to achieve the impossible
22
00:01:04,396 --> 00:01:05,964
once you take off
the training wheels, man.
23
00:01:06,031 --> 00:01:08,166
Whee!
Aw, not again!
24
00:01:08,233 --> 00:01:11,670
Oh, I'm nervous about
meeting your family, Mitch.
25
00:01:11,737 --> 00:01:13,572
After all,
I'm a Cabbage Patch Kid,
26
00:01:13,639 --> 00:01:16,509
and your family
is Garbage Pail Kids.
27
00:01:16,575 --> 00:01:18,310
There's nothing to worry
about, Babette Jocelyn.
28
00:01:18,377 --> 00:01:19,845
I love you,
so they will, too.
29
00:01:19,912 --> 00:01:21,713
Oh, my baby boy!
30
00:01:21,780 --> 00:01:24,883
And this must be
Babette Jocelyn!
31
00:01:24,950 --> 00:01:26,151
Come here, you!
32
00:01:26,218 --> 00:01:28,120
I'm Mitch's mom,
Bloody Mary.
33
00:01:28,187 --> 00:01:29,922
Come meet the rest
of the family!
34
00:01:29,989 --> 00:01:32,225
This is my hubby,
Harry Hemorrhoid.
35
00:01:32,292 --> 00:01:33,559
[ Groaning ]
36
00:01:33,626 --> 00:01:35,161
[ Squish ]
37
00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:37,128
-Hi, Mitch.
-Acne Amy!
38
00:01:37,195 --> 00:01:39,365
Wow! You got so tall!
Bring it in here. [ Grunts ]
39
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[ Popping, splat ]
40
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[ Gags ] Bathroom?
Oh, God.
41
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[ Gagging ] Okay.
42
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[ Groans ]
Babette, you can do this.
43
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Just breathe.
[ Door opens ]
44
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Outta the way!
Get outta the way!
45
00:01:51,677 --> 00:01:52,945
[ Defecating, water splashing ]
46
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Ugh! Whoa!
That one's ripe!
47
00:01:54,947 --> 00:01:57,182
Hey!
You must be Babette!
48
00:01:57,249 --> 00:01:59,184
I'm Dia-Rita.
Nice to...
49
00:01:59,251 --> 00:02:01,487
[ Defecating, water splashing ]
Ugh. Meet you.
50
00:02:01,554 --> 00:02:02,822
[ Gagging ]
51
00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:04,089
There you are!
Come on.
52
00:02:04,156 --> 00:02:05,958
The rest of the family's
waiting to meet you.
53
00:02:06,025 --> 00:02:07,526
[ Crunch ]
54
00:02:07,593 --> 00:02:08,861
[ Smooching ]
55
00:02:08,928 --> 00:02:10,530
[ Crack! ]
56
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:12,431
♪♪
57
00:02:12,498 --> 00:02:13,532
That went great!
58
00:02:13,599 --> 00:02:15,467
My family loves you!
I'm so glad.
59
00:02:15,534 --> 00:02:18,871
Oh, Babette, you simply must
come back for Thanksgiv--
60
00:02:18,938 --> 00:02:21,807
I'm sorry.
Are you inked?
61
00:02:21,874 --> 00:02:23,842
What? That's just my
Xavier Roberts tattoo.
62
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This trollop
has tattooed herself
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with another man's name!
64
00:02:27,646 --> 00:02:28,780
He's my creator!
65
00:02:28,847 --> 00:02:31,083
Are you in
a fucking cult?!
66
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Get out of my house
at once!
67
00:02:33,419 --> 00:02:34,686
-Mitch!
-Sorry, baby.
68
00:02:34,753 --> 00:02:36,655
My family think tattoos
are disgusting,
69
00:02:36,722 --> 00:02:38,758
and I do, too,
so y-you better go.
70
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,359
[ Inhales deeply, sobs ]
71
00:02:40,426 --> 00:02:42,595
I got pussed on
for you!
72
00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:44,130
Well, looks like I should've
got into her pants
73
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:45,531
earlier, right, fam?
74
00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:47,332
[ Chuckles ]
Fuckin' psoriasis.
75
00:02:47,399 --> 00:02:48,701
[ Groans ]
Let's see.
76
00:02:48,768 --> 00:02:50,168
Cinderella,
you're here for...
77
00:02:50,235 --> 00:02:51,703
You tried to wear
glass shoes.
78
00:02:51,770 --> 00:02:54,139
Honey, men don't give a shit
about women's footwear.
79
00:02:54,206 --> 00:02:56,241
Next time, Wear, like,
a pair of Air Jordans.
80
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That'll get his attention
without the personal harm.
81
00:02:58,510 --> 00:03:00,846
-Those are actually pretty sick.
-I know, right?
82
00:03:00,913 --> 00:03:03,081
Okay.
Let's cut those feet off.
83
00:03:03,148 --> 00:03:05,584
All right. Do you know
why I pulled you over?
84
00:03:05,651 --> 00:03:07,721
-No, I do not.
-Fuck!
85
00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:12,925
[ Chuckles ] Hey.
Look at this Itsy Bitsy ass.
86
00:03:12,992 --> 00:03:15,360
Hey! Where ya goin',
Itsy Bitsy?!
87
00:03:15,427 --> 00:03:17,229
-Fuck you!
-Eat shit!
88
00:03:17,296 --> 00:03:19,731
-Fuck you! You eat shit!
-You eat shit!
89
00:03:19,798 --> 00:03:22,535
I'm-a climb up this garden
spout, you fucking asshole!
90
00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:24,670
-Better not!
-Better not, asshole!
91
00:03:24,737 --> 00:03:26,706
-It's gonna rain!
-Fuck you!
92
00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:28,707
Fuck you!
Yeah, fuck you!
93
00:03:28,774 --> 00:03:30,042
I do what I fucking want!
94
00:03:30,109 --> 00:03:32,211
How about that, motherfucker?
95
00:03:32,278 --> 00:03:33,378
Ya told that fuck.
96
00:03:33,445 --> 00:03:34,746
-You told him.
-That fuck.
97
00:03:34,813 --> 00:03:36,949
[ Thunder rumbles,
Itsy Bitsy screams ]
98
00:03:37,016 --> 00:03:39,385
Oh, look!
Shit fuck is back.
99
00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:41,187
-Told ya, you fuck!
-Eat shit!
100
00:03:41,254 --> 00:03:43,523
-You eat shit!
-Eat shit, you fuck!
101
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:44,924
[ Birds chirping ]
102
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[ Water dripping ]
103
00:03:48,427 --> 00:03:49,895
The fuck you doin' now?
104
00:03:49,962 --> 00:03:52,431
I'm-a climb up this garden spout
and fuck yo' mama!
105
00:03:52,498 --> 00:03:53,632
Fuckin' kill you,
you fuck!
106
00:03:53,699 --> 00:03:55,134
These is prison rules,
motherfucker!
107
00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:56,936
Itsy Bitsy bitch!
108
00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:59,839
[ Dramatic music plays ]
109
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:02,007
Oh, no, dear Agnarr,
we're dead!
110
00:04:02,074 --> 00:04:04,210
Oh, it pains me
that our children,
111
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Anna and Elsa,
must grow up without us.
112
00:04:06,812 --> 00:04:09,781
Oh, they'll be fine.
Dead parents build character.
113
00:04:09,848 --> 00:04:12,317
Yeah, our little Tarzan
was raised by gorillas after
114
00:04:12,384 --> 00:04:14,620
we were murdered by a leopard,
and he turned out great.
115
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Ah. New dead parents.
116
00:04:17,389 --> 00:04:20,426
You are just in time
for tonight's Heaven rave!
117
00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:22,294
Ooh! What's a rave?
118
00:04:22,361 --> 00:04:24,563
[ Dance music thumping,
cheerful shouting ]
119
00:04:24,630 --> 00:04:26,899
Oh, this is better
than any ball in Arendelle.
120
00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:28,701
I feel so free!
121
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:30,602
Ow! Ow!
Let it go, baby!
122
00:04:30,669 --> 00:04:32,538
Here comes
the dump truck.
123
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:35,508
♪♪
124
00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:36,709
[ Snorting ]
125
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:38,844
I say this pixie dust
is quite different
126
00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:40,279
than the snow
we're used to back home.
127
00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:42,248
Coral: Hey!
Can I get some down here?
128
00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:43,482
[ Toilet flushes ]
129
00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:46,185
I didn't get eaten
by a barracuda for nothing!
130
00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:47,787
[ Bionic sound effect plays ]
131
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:49,821
[ Snorts ] Whoo-oo!
132
00:04:49,888 --> 00:04:52,725
Who wants to butt-chug
some Dole Whip?!
133
00:04:52,791 --> 00:04:54,761
[ Indistinct shouting ]
134
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:55,894
Whoo!
135
00:04:55,961 --> 00:04:59,097
[ Somber music plays ]
136
00:04:59,164 --> 00:05:01,534
I hope they're
in a better place.
137
00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:04,336
Me too, Anna.
Me too.
138
00:05:04,403 --> 00:05:06,072
Iduna: I just did
my first butt chug!
139
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,507
Agnarr:
Being a dead parent rules!
140
00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:10,809
Barbie, I must go.
I can't do this anymore.
141
00:05:10,876 --> 00:05:12,578
Why, Ken? Why?!
142
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:16,315
I'm Butterfly Prince Ken.
I must go be with my people.
143
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:18,917
Flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap...
144
00:05:18,984 --> 00:05:20,619
Look, Bell,
I don't condone bestiality,
145
00:05:20,686 --> 00:05:22,654
but the fact of the matter
is if you fuck a dog,
146
00:05:22,721 --> 00:05:24,757
you're going to get
a yeast infection.
147
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:28,560
Welcome, viewers!
I am Dexter, boy genius!
148
00:05:28,627 --> 00:05:31,763
Today I present to you
an extraordinary invention!
149
00:05:31,830 --> 00:05:35,935
This is the Mom Droid,
a revolutionary new robot
150
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,402
who does anything a mom can do.
151
00:05:37,469 --> 00:05:39,839
Now let's go to the phones.
Hello, Gil. You're on the air.
152
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,039
Gil: Uh, yes. Hello.
153
00:05:41,106 --> 00:05:42,742
First-time caller,
longtime listener.
154
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:44,143
Is she fully functional?
155
00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:46,011
Yes. Of course.
She can cook and clean.
156
00:05:46,078 --> 00:05:48,347
Mom Droid, make an
omelette du fromage.
157
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:51,951
Okay. Cool. Um, but how many,
uh, thrusts will you get?
158
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,085
Thrusts?
159
00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:54,920
How intensely
does she vibrate?
160
00:05:54,987 --> 00:05:56,788
If she is vibrating,
something is wrong.
161
00:05:56,855 --> 00:05:58,424
That means she is broken,
you idiot.
162
00:05:58,491 --> 00:06:01,394
Okay. But is it easy to clean
up, you know, afterwards?
163
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:03,395
Mom Droid,
clean the kitchen.
164
00:06:03,462 --> 00:06:05,264
Awesome.
I'll take one for sure.
165
00:06:05,331 --> 00:06:07,733
Excellent! Let's take
another caller. Okay.
166
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,034
Schlomo,
you're on the air.
167
00:06:09,101 --> 00:06:12,105
Uh, she looks very real.
Um, does she feel real?
168
00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:13,538
She feels like your mother.
169
00:06:13,605 --> 00:06:16,041
Okay. Cool. How big are
the holes? I'm very large.
170
00:06:16,108 --> 00:06:18,711
She can burn holes into anything
with her laser eyes.
171
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,646
Mom Droid,
blast that trash!
172
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:22,514
[ Zapping ]
Um, I'll buy one, I guess.
173
00:06:22,581 --> 00:06:24,416
And who does not want
the Mom Droid?
174
00:06:24,483 --> 00:06:25,784
Hello, Larb.
You're on the air.
175
00:06:25,851 --> 00:06:28,387
Uh, I got a question
about the pussy sleeve.
176
00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:30,923
Is it porous?
I-I'm sorry.
We gotta shut this down.
177
00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:32,757
What?! We're making
beaucoup bucks!
178
00:06:32,824 --> 00:06:35,094
Yeah, kid, we're not licensed
to sell adult toys
179
00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:36,561
at 4:00 in the afternoon!
180
00:06:36,628 --> 00:06:39,031
She's not a toy! I designed her
to look like my real mother.
181
00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:40,699
Come on out, Mom,
and say hello.
182
00:06:40,766 --> 00:06:43,068
Ugh. Go to the Lisa Rinna
Duster Cardigans!
183
00:06:43,135 --> 00:06:46,138
[ Alarm ringing, ringing stops ]
184
00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:48,240
April 1st?! The Day of Fools!
185
00:06:48,307 --> 00:06:50,709
I pity the fool who participates
in April Fools' Day!
186
00:06:50,776 --> 00:06:53,412
There are too many fools to pity
on this day!
187
00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:55,281
How about this?
Mr. T gonna start his day.
188
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:56,582
Ha ha!
[ Bell dings ]
189
00:06:56,649 --> 00:06:58,450
Hm. Time to check
Mr. T's e-mail.
190
00:06:58,517 --> 00:07:01,053
Ah. Look at this here.
My friend Gary just e-mailed me
191
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,955
a link to a new
children's charity.
192
00:07:03,722 --> 00:07:06,292
Oh! It's a fool's
giant ding-a-ling!
193
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:07,626
I hate this day!
194
00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:09,395
I'm now a fool I pity.
195
00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:11,797
I pity me -- Mr. T!
196
00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:13,832
Announcer: Running
a summer camp for kittens
197
00:07:13,899 --> 00:07:15,401
seemed like the perfect
business venture.
198
00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:17,336
Oh, they're so cute!
199
00:07:17,403 --> 00:07:19,104
And the best part is
Jason Voorhees
200
00:07:19,171 --> 00:07:20,706
should leave us
alone this year
201
00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:22,741
since he didn't suffer any
childhood psychological trauma
202
00:07:22,808 --> 00:07:24,543
related to kittens.
That we know of.
203
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:25,945
But little did they know...
204
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:28,314
Woman: Teenagers
are filthy, Jason!
205
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:31,751
Greasy hormones
spewing all over the place!
206
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:34,020
They must be punished!
207
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,688
[ Snoring ]
208
00:07:36,755 --> 00:07:39,858
Okay. This teenager's
a fucking dork. Next window.
209
00:07:39,925 --> 00:07:41,194
[ Cats purring and meowing ]
210
00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:43,962
Aah! Sluts!
Kitten sluts!
211
00:07:44,029 --> 00:07:46,200
[ Cats yowling, knife plunging ]
212
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,404
[ Sniffles ]
213
00:07:54,273 --> 00:07:55,641
Announcer:
Somewhere along the way,
214
00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:57,509
these movies stopped
being shocking,
215
00:07:57,576 --> 00:08:00,046
but we're pretty sure
we're onto something here.
216
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:01,514
[ Monitors beeping ]
217
00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:04,083
Ha ha!
Welcome to my house.
218
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,517
Why is it full
of sick kids?
219
00:08:05,584 --> 00:08:08,153
Oh, that's not your thing? What
-- What -- What's your thing?
220
00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:10,222
Sexy clowns. Mm!
221
00:08:10,289 --> 00:08:11,857
Alright. Well, that --
that checks out.
222
00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:13,658
Well, h-help me
wheel them out onto the lawn.
223
00:08:13,725 --> 00:08:15,727
The sprinklers don't kick on
for another 20 minutes.
224
00:08:15,794 --> 00:08:18,764
Why do you smell like Mommy's
acid-washed jean jacket
225
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:21,868
when she comes home from the
Morongo Casino, Resort & Spa?
226
00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:23,536
Good times!
227
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,170
Shut the fuck up
and go back to sleep!
228
00:08:25,237 --> 00:08:26,771
I'm gonna -- Yeah.
This is creepy. Bye.
229
00:08:26,838 --> 00:08:29,374
W-Where are you going?!
Come on. Where you go-- Ugh.
230
00:08:29,441 --> 00:08:31,543
Okay. Your chart says you
sold your soul to hook up with
231
00:08:31,610 --> 00:08:34,779
a dude you met in a shipwreck,
and now you can't talk.
232
00:08:34,846 --> 00:08:37,283
Kids will do anything to get
to bone town these days, huh?
233
00:08:37,349 --> 00:08:40,920
Now, say, "Ahh."
Say, "Ahh."
234
00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:43,122
Can you do that?
Oh, right. Right.
235
00:08:43,188 --> 00:08:45,191
Sorry.
It's been a very long day.
236
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,227
[ Crickets chirping faintly ]
237
00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:51,432
[ Clicking, message bloops ]
238
00:08:56,402 --> 00:08:57,703
[ Clicking, message bloops ]
239
00:08:57,770 --> 00:08:59,306
[ Owl hoots ]
240
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,079
[ Clicking, message bloops ]
241
00:09:10,015 --> 00:09:12,318
[ Romantic music swells ]
242
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,920
[ Music stops ]
243
00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:22,060
[ Owl hoots ]
244
00:09:22,127 --> 00:09:24,363
[ Clicking, message bloops,
phone buzzes ]
245
00:09:24,429 --> 00:09:26,867
[ Clicking, message bloops,
phone buzzes ]
246
00:09:34,306 --> 00:09:36,376
[ Clicking, message bloops,
phone buzzes ]
247
00:09:41,113 --> 00:09:44,350
[ Clicking, message bloops,
phone buzzes ]
248
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,553
[ Clicking, message bloops,
phone buzzes ]
249
00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:53,427
[ Clicking, message bloops,
phone buzzes ]
250
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,337
[ Clicking, message bloops,
phone buzzes ]
251
00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:14,880
[ Clicking, message bloops,
phone buzzes ]
252
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,014
Chicken:
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
253
00:10:16,081 --> 00:10:17,249
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
254
00:10:17,316 --> 00:10:19,085
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
255
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:20,319
Chickens:
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
256
00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:21,553
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
257
00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:23,422
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
258
00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:24,556
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
259
00:10:24,623 --> 00:10:25,791
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
260
00:10:25,857 --> 00:10:27,660
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
261
00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:28,761
Chicken: Ba-gawk!
262
00:10:28,828 --> 00:10:30,264
Man: Bawk.
263
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,500
-I don't see him!
-Ha! I knew he wouldn't do it.
264
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:35,902
Give me all your money,
penguins!
265
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,069
Oh, no!
266
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:39,973
Penguin:
I can't fly! Splat!
267
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,707
Wow! He saved us!
268
00:10:41,774 --> 00:10:43,744
Just like Batman!
269
00:10:48,747 --> 00:10:51,717
So, uh, what? We ding his
estate for the 50 bucks?
270
00:10:51,784 --> 00:10:53,687
Yeah. Let's go
confront his widow.
19705
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