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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,307 --> 00:00:10,243 ♪♪ 2 00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:11,744 [ Laughs ] 3 00:00:11,811 --> 00:00:15,581 ♪♪ 4 00:00:15,648 --> 00:00:16,849 [ Clicks ] 5 00:00:16,916 --> 00:00:22,622 ♪♪ 6 00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:24,691 Man: It's alive! 7 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:31,758 ♪♪ 8 00:00:32,598 --> 00:00:34,200 [ Laughter ] 9 00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:38,972 ♪♪ 10 00:00:39,038 --> 00:00:40,773 [ Laughter ] 11 00:00:42,308 --> 00:00:43,475 Yoshi: You know the thing about living 12 00:00:43,542 --> 00:00:45,144 on a tropical island paradise? 13 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:47,546 You get so distracted looking at all the beauty, 14 00:00:47,613 --> 00:00:49,615 you forget to look out for yourself. 15 00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:51,650 Wait! Mario! What about me?! 16 00:00:51,717 --> 00:00:53,986 But now I see clearly. 17 00:00:54,053 --> 00:00:56,288 I don't know what-a you did to piss-a this guy off, 18 00:00:56,355 --> 00:00:58,624 but-a now he's-a comin' after a-both of us! 19 00:00:58,690 --> 00:01:01,127 Hey, what's-a one-a little dinosaur-a gonna do, eh? 20 00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:03,463 [ Yoshi laughing ] 21 00:01:03,529 --> 00:01:04,597 Hunh! [ Laughs ] 22 00:01:04,664 --> 00:01:06,266 Aah! Yah! 23 00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:07,300 Aah! 24 00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:08,468 Ah! 25 00:01:08,534 --> 00:01:10,336 [ Squelch ] 26 00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,405 Now we're fuckin' a-dead, bro! 27 00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:14,909 Let's-a go, mother-a-fucker. 28 00:01:16,742 --> 00:01:18,177 Maybe we can make a deal-a, huh? 29 00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:19,845 Yoshi: Die, bitch! Aah! 30 00:01:19,912 --> 00:01:21,914 You are gonna pay-a for that-a. 31 00:01:21,980 --> 00:01:23,983 Fireball! Fireball! [ Laughing ] 32 00:01:24,049 --> 00:01:25,918 Ha! Fireball toss! 33 00:01:25,985 --> 00:01:27,253 Yoshi, no! 34 00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:29,422 I've known you since I was a baby. 35 00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:30,756 You were a piece of shit then... 36 00:01:30,822 --> 00:01:32,992 [Italian accent] ...and you are a bigger piece of shit now. 37 00:01:33,059 --> 00:01:34,260 Fuck right off! 38 00:01:34,327 --> 00:01:36,094 Aah! [ Splat ] 39 00:01:36,161 --> 00:01:38,165 Time to welcome the world to a new Yoshi. 40 00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:39,532 A new me. 41 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:41,768 Yoshi's Island! 42 00:01:42,768 --> 00:01:45,071 After you got off the island, Chuck Noland received 43 00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:46,739 millions from FedEx. 44 00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:48,808 You're asking for half, correct? 45 00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:50,809 I just want what I think is fair. 46 00:01:50,876 --> 00:01:53,145 Ugh! I can't believe Trevor ghosted me. 47 00:01:53,212 --> 00:01:55,347 Even though he grew a rattail nonironically, 48 00:01:55,414 --> 00:01:57,016 I'll never love again! 49 00:01:57,083 --> 00:01:59,252 You've been possessed 50 00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,421 by a peen-tergeist! 51 00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:02,688 A what?! 52 00:02:02,755 --> 00:02:05,991 Hi, I'm Tangina Barrons, poltergeist expert. 53 00:02:06,058 --> 00:02:08,761 Your lady bits have been taken hostage 54 00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:11,130 by the spirit of his whiz tube. 55 00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:14,333 Your need to perform a vag-orcism! 56 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,269 Yes! Yes! 57 00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:18,270 [ Screaming ] 58 00:02:18,337 --> 00:02:20,773 Keep on towards the light! 59 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:22,576 [ Screaming ] 60 00:02:24,343 --> 00:02:25,745 [ Gasps ] I don't need to pretend to like 61 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,746 Lars von Trier films anymore. 62 00:02:27,813 --> 00:02:29,749 [ Placid music plays ] This cooch is clean. 63 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,417 But where did he go? 64 00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:33,821 Into my cooch! 65 00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:36,188 [ Music stops ] 66 00:02:36,255 --> 00:02:38,324 What do you mean, you don't tip? 67 00:02:38,391 --> 00:02:39,658 I mean, I don't tip. 68 00:02:39,725 --> 00:02:40,827 Boop. Whoa! 69 00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:42,327 Ah! [ Laughs ] 70 00:02:42,394 --> 00:02:44,865 Yeah, technically you tip -- you just don't fall over. 71 00:02:46,932 --> 00:02:50,369 Ladies, can't we all find a way to get along? 72 00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:51,871 You gave me chlamydia! 73 00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:53,339 -Me too. -And me! -Twice. 74 00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:56,008 Also, bacteria from the chlamydia then moved up 75 00:02:56,075 --> 00:02:58,678 to my cervix and gave me PID! 76 00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:01,280 Pelvic inflammatory disease! 77 00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:04,516 That's what happens when the clam is left untreated. 78 00:03:04,583 --> 00:03:07,686 Ladies, what do you say we make this a team round? 79 00:03:07,753 --> 00:03:10,056 I'd never turn down three women at once -- 80 00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:12,725 [ Gunshots ] Oww! [Shouting indistinctly ] 81 00:03:12,792 --> 00:03:14,727 [ Gunshots continue ] 82 00:03:14,794 --> 00:03:21,794 ♪♪ 83 00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:24,603 Come on, girls. He is not worth it. 84 00:03:24,670 --> 00:03:26,939 Let's go pick up our prescription. 85 00:03:27,006 --> 00:03:29,275 Bond: Oho, James, you dog! 86 00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:32,012 Wait. That means I have chlamydia. 87 00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:36,417 [ Motor whirring ] 88 00:03:39,185 --> 00:03:40,286 [ Chittering ] 89 00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:42,154 [ Screeches ] 90 00:03:42,221 --> 00:03:45,424 My date said he'd be here 20 minutes ago. 91 00:03:45,491 --> 00:03:47,092 Ack! Ack, ack. 92 00:03:47,159 --> 00:03:49,329 Did you get stood up, too? 93 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:50,329 Ack! 94 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:51,664 Ack, ack! Ack, ack. 95 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,834 I'd love to eat with you. 96 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:54,967 Ack! 97 00:03:55,034 --> 00:03:56,269 Ack! Ack! Ack ack ack! 98 00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:57,603 Yes! Ack! 99 00:03:57,670 --> 00:03:58,938 Yes! Ack! Ack ack aaack! 100 00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:01,575 Do you take this woman to be your wife? 101 00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:02,742 Ack! 102 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:04,510 I'll, uh, take that as an "I do." 103 00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:06,846 [ Objects clattering ] Oh, my God! 104 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,148 Ack ack ack! Ack ack ack ack! 105 00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:10,316 Ack ack ack! 106 00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:12,652 You have to return to your home planet? 107 00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:14,720 But we're married! Ack! 108 00:04:14,787 --> 00:04:16,823 Save me! Aah! 109 00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:17,823 Ack ack ack! 110 00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:19,692 [ Gunshots, screams ] 111 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:23,196 Aaa-aa-aa-ck! 112 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,198 [ Sobbing ] 113 00:04:26,265 --> 00:04:31,137 Cake is the only man that will never leave me. 114 00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:33,306 Ohh ahhh mmph! [ Sobs ] 115 00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:34,774 Oh, no. Oh, God. 116 00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:36,844 [ Retching ] 117 00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:40,013 ♪♪ 118 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,749 [ Engine revs, tires squeal ] 119 00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:47,020 [ Video game music plays ] 120 00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:50,188 ♪♪ 121 00:04:50,255 --> 00:04:53,059 Narrator: This week on "My Strange Addiction," 122 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,227 meet Elefun the elephant. 123 00:04:55,294 --> 00:04:58,097 Yeah, baby! That's the stuff! 124 00:04:58,164 --> 00:05:00,432 What started out as a party trick 125 00:05:00,499 --> 00:05:02,268 turned into a butterfly habit 126 00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:04,270 that Elefun couldn't kick. 127 00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:06,372 Let's fuckin' rave! 128 00:05:06,439 --> 00:05:08,241 Oh! Oh! 129 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,076 [ Laughing ] 130 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,577 [ Inhaling deeply ] 131 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:13,246 [ Echoing voices, laughter ] 132 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,246 Ohhh! 133 00:05:14,313 --> 00:05:16,649 -[Distant] Elefun. Elefun! -Whoa! 134 00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:18,050 Elefun, it's late. 135 00:05:18,117 --> 00:05:20,587 We have to go home. You're leaving me?! 136 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:21,921 Try some of this shit! 137 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,256 I don't want it! Try it! Come on! 138 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,424 I don't want! [ Laughing ] 139 00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,091 It's trippy, right? I don't want it! 140 00:05:26,158 --> 00:05:27,194 [ Laughing ] [ Groans ] 141 00:05:27,261 --> 00:05:28,194 Kid? 142 00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:30,029 [ Screaming ] Kid! 143 00:05:30,096 --> 00:05:31,430 Next week... 144 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:33,432 this family of codependent hippos 145 00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:36,635 enable a bizarre compulsion. 146 00:05:36,702 --> 00:05:39,072 Woman: Oh, my life is almost spent, 147 00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,407 and I had so much more to do. 148 00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:42,408 [ Cat meows ] 149 00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:43,409 [ Objects clatter, cat yowls ] 150 00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,944 And I'm back, bitches! 151 00:05:46,011 --> 00:05:47,946 Boom! Crushed that candy! 152 00:05:48,013 --> 00:05:50,950 Aw, but I need a lollipop hammer to finish the level. 153 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,085 [ Poof ] Why not make an in-app purchase? 154 00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:55,120 It's only $1.99. 155 00:05:55,187 --> 00:05:58,491 I promised myself I wouldn't spend any money on this game. 156 00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:01,160 It's a one-time thing, Beth. 157 00:06:01,227 --> 00:06:02,495 [ Ka-ching! ] 158 00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:04,229 [ Video game music plays ] 159 00:06:04,296 --> 00:06:05,898 Beth, I'm home -- Oh, my God! 160 00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:07,533 I need extra gold bars! 161 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,035 And I need an extra life! 162 00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,169 Beth, you spent -- 163 00:06:10,236 --> 00:06:13,272 you spent $1,500 on Candy Crush?! Aah! Yah! 164 00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:15,041 We have a mortgage! 165 00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,442 She's mine now. 166 00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:19,112 [ Laughing evilly ] 167 00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:21,047 Spider-walk time! 168 00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:23,216 The power of Christ compels you. 169 00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:24,717 [ Distorted ] You're one to talk. 170 00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:26,886 You spent all of the church's collection last month 171 00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:28,688 on Pokémon Go supplies. 172 00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:30,256 You have to catch 'em all, right? 173 00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:31,591 You don't understand, demon -- 174 00:06:31,658 --> 00:06:33,325 was buy one, get one free. 175 00:06:33,392 --> 00:06:35,161 It was BOGO on the POGO. 176 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,829 I had serious FOMO! 177 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,865 [ Laughing ] You're mind now, priesty! 178 00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:40,533 Open your mouth! 179 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,368 Not today, vile demon! 180 00:06:43,435 --> 00:06:45,205 Selfless sacrifice! [ Glass shatters ] 181 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:47,773 Splat! 182 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:50,443 You did it! Oh, God, it's over! 183 00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:53,312 [ Sobbing ] It's over! My, God, it's over. 184 00:06:53,379 --> 00:06:55,949 Anyone wanna play Clash of Clans? 185 00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,116 I do. 186 00:06:57,183 --> 00:06:59,518 Mr. Manson, you would have me believe 187 00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:03,122 that you did not commit the Tate-LaBianca murders. 188 00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:07,027 I'm telling you, man, it was not me. 189 00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:13,799 I, Ponce de Léon, have finally found the Fountain of Youth. 190 00:07:13,866 --> 00:07:16,369 [ Babies cooing, laughing ] 191 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,704 Men, only a single Allied pilot 192 00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:21,173 has survived an encounter with the Red Baron. 193 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,642 Meet America's World War I Flying Ace -- 194 00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:25,645 Did you say "one"? ...Captain Snoopy! 195 00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:26,812 Blah! 196 00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:29,282 [ Speaking gibberish ] 197 00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:30,616 Sir, that's, uh... 198 00:07:30,683 --> 00:07:31,917 Yeah, that's a dog. 199 00:07:31,984 --> 00:07:34,586 That is the World War I Flying Ace, dumb shit! 200 00:07:34,653 --> 00:07:37,123 And you will heed every single word out of his mouth! 201 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,291 [ Gibberish ] 202 00:07:39,358 --> 00:07:40,960 These are your new aircraft. 203 00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:43,396 No idea how they work, but we've seen the Ace fly one, 204 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,564 and they only cost about $3 in scrap wood! 205 00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:46,566 Hoo-yah! Sir! 206 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,167 These are doghouses, sir! 207 00:07:48,234 --> 00:07:50,202 They're aircraft, soldier! 208 00:07:50,269 --> 00:07:52,272 Now mount up! 209 00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:53,506 Oh-ah! 210 00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:54,907 This shit doesn't make any sense. Ow. 211 00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:57,476 Uh, sir? Where are the controls? 212 00:07:57,543 --> 00:07:59,912 Did you have to ask your mama where your dick was 213 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,747 when you wanted to piss, sailor?! 214 00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,749 [ Gibberish ] [ Engine rumbling ] 215 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,251 -There's no way that's gonna... -Um, uh... 216 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:06,753 -Oh, shit. -Ah, that worked. 217 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,722 Oh-ho-ho-ho! 218 00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:12,191 Oh, my God, they work! 219 00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:13,792 We're flying! 220 00:08:13,859 --> 00:08:16,395 But the peak is really riding up into my crack. 221 00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:19,699 Aah! They also should have included seat belts! 222 00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:21,868 Whoa! Hey! 223 00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:23,869 I'm cool with these things not having wings, 224 00:08:23,936 --> 00:08:25,905 but I'd feel better if we had windshields. 225 00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:28,408 Ah, what the f-- Ah, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 226 00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:29,844 Aaaaah! 227 00:08:31,911 --> 00:08:34,580 That son of a bitch is actually doing it! 228 00:08:34,647 --> 00:08:36,115 We're gonna need more Marines! 229 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,617 And maybe some seat belts. 230 00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:39,552 The Red Baron is leading a squadron 231 00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:41,053 toward Allied territory. 232 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,522 Now get up there and show 'em what we got! 233 00:08:43,589 --> 00:08:45,259 -To the sky! -Let's fly these doghouses! 234 00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:51,130 Bwah! Sir, yes, sir! 235 00:08:51,196 --> 00:08:53,733 Whatever the fuck he just said. 236 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,036 [ Cats yowling ] 237 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:57,503 Are those cats?! 238 00:08:57,570 --> 00:08:59,706 How did they train cats to fly airplanes? 239 00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:01,207 War is hell! 240 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,242 [ Airplane approaches, Red Baron laughs ] 241 00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:05,411 Guten morgen, Herr Snoopy! 242 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,280 Dogfights are overrated, so I thought, 243 00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:09,282 why not switch to a catfight? 244 00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:10,750 [ Laughs ] Aah! 245 00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:13,352 [ Cat yowling ] 246 00:09:13,419 --> 00:09:14,854 Aw, yeah. 247 00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:16,556 Keep that pussy right there. 248 00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:17,857 [ Meows ] 249 00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:18,891 [ Screeches ] 250 00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:20,759 Aah, aah! It's in my mouth! 251 00:09:20,826 --> 00:09:22,530 [ Sputtering ] Aah! 252 00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:25,097 Whoo! [ Clicking tongue ] 253 00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:27,535 Can I interest you in a cucumber? 254 00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:30,204 [ Yowling ] 255 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,673 Ha-ha! I've got you now. 256 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:37,077 Uh... No one told us how to shoot! 257 00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:40,580 [ Gunfire, cat screeching ] 258 00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,948 I'm hit! 259 00:09:43,015 --> 00:09:45,985 The laser pointer won't be invented for another 60 years, 260 00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:47,655 so this will have to do. 261 00:09:48,955 --> 00:09:50,457 [ Yowling ] 262 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,159 Stupid cats! 263 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:56,496 ♪♪ 264 00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:58,065 [ Purring ] 265 00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:00,800 [ Explosion ] 266 00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:01,868 Ha-ha-ha-ha! [ Gunfire ] 267 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,070 Looks like it's time for a catnap. 268 00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,205 [ Snoopy laughs ] 269 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,707 [ Gibberish ] 270 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,644 ♪♪ 271 00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:11,644 [ Gunfire ] 272 00:10:11,711 --> 00:10:14,180 ♪♪ 273 00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:16,182 [ Gunfire ] 274 00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:17,618 Bwah! 275 00:10:19,084 --> 00:10:21,021 Auf weidersehen, dummer hund. 276 00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:23,623 [ Gunfire ] 277 00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:25,457 [ Slurps ] Ugh! Aah! 278 00:10:25,524 --> 00:10:27,593 Doctor! Get the hot water! 279 00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:28,928 Get the disinfectant! 280 00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:30,763 [ Gunfire ] Get the iodine! 281 00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:32,265 Aah! 282 00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:33,834 Aaaaaaah! 283 00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:37,337 [ Upbeat music plays ] 284 00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:40,074 ♪♪ 285 00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:53,346 ♪♪ 286 00:10:54,821 --> 00:11:03,230 ♪♪ 18679

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