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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:05,004 ♪♪ 2 00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:07,306 [ Laughs ] 3 00:00:07,373 --> 00:00:12,378 ♪♪ 4 00:00:12,445 --> 00:00:17,450 ♪♪ 5 00:00:17,516 --> 00:00:19,952 Man: It's alive! 6 00:00:20,019 --> 00:00:21,053 [ Robot chicken clucks ] 7 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:27,559 ♪♪ 8 00:00:27,626 --> 00:00:29,729 Huhnmorder: [ Laughing evilly ] 9 00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:33,833 ♪♪ 10 00:00:33,899 --> 00:00:35,968 [ Cackles ] 11 00:00:37,336 --> 00:00:39,806 This is the worst case of TMJ I've ever seen. 12 00:00:41,673 --> 00:00:43,509 [ British accent ] So, what went wrong, Peppa? 13 00:00:43,575 --> 00:00:44,710 [ British accent ] What went wrong? 14 00:00:44,777 --> 00:00:48,347 Every single fucking thing! 15 00:00:48,414 --> 00:00:49,681 Singer: ♪ All right ♪ 16 00:00:49,748 --> 00:00:52,017 Peppa: I'm a cartoon pig whose whole purpose in life 17 00:00:52,084 --> 00:00:54,519 is to make mistakes so kids learn from 'em. 18 00:00:54,586 --> 00:00:57,456 Mistake number one -- splashing around in a puddle 19 00:00:57,522 --> 00:01:00,759 without first checking me surroundings. 20 00:01:00,826 --> 00:01:03,863 You dickies soiled me monkey! 21 00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:05,331 [ Gasps ] Oh! 22 00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:06,832 Get me a new one by tomorrow, 23 00:01:06,899 --> 00:01:09,134 or it's your loaf of bread, pig. 24 00:01:09,201 --> 00:01:11,170 There, there, Peppa. [ Bleats ] 25 00:01:11,236 --> 00:01:13,806 I got a gapin' head wound, ya nit! 26 00:01:13,873 --> 00:01:15,675 [ Gasps ] Get off my knee! 27 00:01:15,741 --> 00:01:17,242 Peppa! Peppa: Only one place 28 00:01:17,309 --> 00:01:20,880 that sells that monkey -- Tony Turtle's Toy Store. 29 00:01:20,946 --> 00:01:22,648 £5? 30 00:01:22,714 --> 00:01:24,383 We haven't got that kind of sausage and mash. 31 00:01:24,450 --> 00:01:25,784 If there's one thing I've learned 32 00:01:25,851 --> 00:01:27,619 as a didactic TV pig, 33 00:01:27,686 --> 00:01:29,288 it's that if we work together, 34 00:01:29,355 --> 00:01:31,357 we can accomplish anything -- 35 00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:32,659 even armed robbery! 36 00:01:32,725 --> 00:01:34,026 "Armed robbery"?! 37 00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:36,362 But, Peppa, that's ba-a-a-ad! 38 00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:37,997 I won't be part of it. 39 00:01:38,063 --> 00:01:39,498 You're a bloody sheep! 40 00:01:39,565 --> 00:01:41,633 You'll do whatever I say. Okay. 41 00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:44,003 Now, come on. Let's put a crew together. 42 00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:49,709 ♪♪ 43 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:55,381 ♪♪ 44 00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,316 Ah, I got it. [ Sobbing ] 45 00:01:57,383 --> 00:02:02,554 ♪♪ 46 00:02:02,621 --> 00:02:06,392 Peppa: Unfortunately, I still had one lesson to learn -- 47 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,194 piggies always squeal. [ Sobbing ] 48 00:02:09,261 --> 00:02:11,631 Daddy, Peppa committed an armed robbery. 49 00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,065 Armed robbery, eh? 50 00:02:13,132 --> 00:02:14,400 Well, Daddy, Pig might be clumsy 51 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,268 and fat and forgetful, but he knows how 52 00:02:16,335 --> 00:02:18,070 to call the police on naughty piglets. 53 00:02:18,137 --> 00:02:20,439 Now, what's the number for British 911? 54 00:02:20,506 --> 00:02:21,774 Sorry, Daddy. 55 00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:23,977 They ain't puttin' Peppa in a pig pen. 56 00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:25,978 [ Both squealing ] 57 00:02:26,045 --> 00:02:27,380 One gunshot, two gunshot! 58 00:02:27,447 --> 00:02:28,881 [ Both grunting ] 59 00:02:28,948 --> 00:02:31,550 ♪♪ 60 00:02:31,617 --> 00:02:34,854 Right, this was all over a stuffed monkey, then. 61 00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:36,255 Hmm. 62 00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:37,957 When you put it that way, 63 00:02:38,024 --> 00:02:40,159 I sound a bit of a wanker. 64 00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:42,862 Kids, don't be a wanker. 65 00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:44,830 ♪♪ 66 00:02:44,897 --> 00:02:47,600 Looking fresh -- to death! [ Shrieks ] 67 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,167 Ugh! Your face! 68 00:02:49,234 --> 00:02:51,170 What do you wash with, bar soap?! 69 00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:53,038 Doesn't everybody? Girl, please. 70 00:02:53,105 --> 00:02:54,139 You're peeling. 71 00:02:54,206 --> 00:02:55,874 I was burned alive in a boiler room! 72 00:02:55,941 --> 00:02:56,875 Same difference. 73 00:02:56,942 --> 00:02:58,444 Lucky you, all I watch 74 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,178 are YouTube makeup tutorials! 75 00:03:00,245 --> 00:03:02,214 Narrative content is dead. 76 00:03:02,281 --> 00:03:04,783 It's an easy 27½-step process. 77 00:03:04,850 --> 00:03:08,153 Exfoliate, moisturize, rinse, repeat, tap. 78 00:03:08,220 --> 00:03:09,788 Don't rub -- that's the secret. 79 00:03:09,855 --> 00:03:12,290 ♪ Exfoliate, moisturize, rinse, repeat ♪ This is torture! 80 00:03:12,357 --> 00:03:13,425 ♪ Tap, don't rub, that's the -- ♪ 81 00:03:13,492 --> 00:03:14,762 Beauty is pain! 82 00:03:16,729 --> 00:03:18,264 So, what do you think? 83 00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:19,865 Well, I'm terrified -- 84 00:03:19,932 --> 00:03:21,967 by how good I look. 85 00:03:22,034 --> 00:03:23,902 Right?! We had so much fun! 86 00:03:23,969 --> 00:03:26,538 It's really a shame I'm going to kill you now. 87 00:03:26,605 --> 00:03:29,675 Or we could do face masks! 88 00:03:29,742 --> 00:03:31,811 [ Sighs ] Okay, first the face masks, 89 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,445 and then I'm gonna kill you. 90 00:03:33,512 --> 00:03:36,448 Male Alien: Um, Captain, the trash alien is attacking, 91 00:03:36,515 --> 00:03:38,483 and I think there's something wrong with the weapons. 92 00:03:38,550 --> 00:03:40,953 Captain: Your guns are locked until you solve each math problem! 93 00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:42,754 But, sir, I-I could die. 94 00:03:42,821 --> 00:03:45,591 We believe a life without math is not worth living! 95 00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:47,226 Zero plus seven is seven. 96 00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:49,795 Uh, two minus one equals one. 97 00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:51,797 Three minus eight equals five. 98 00:03:51,864 --> 00:03:53,765 I-I-I mean -- I mean, negative five! 99 00:03:53,832 --> 00:03:55,935 -Oh no, your ship is damaged! 100 00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:57,870 You'd better fix it -- with math! 101 00:03:57,937 --> 00:03:59,338 What?! Okay, it's, uh -- 102 00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,406 Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally. 103 00:04:01,473 --> 00:04:04,310 Fuck! Why didn't I take that English job in Typing Town?! 104 00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:05,779 [ Kaboom! ] 105 00:04:05,945 --> 00:04:07,212 Ooh-ooh-ooh! 106 00:04:07,279 --> 00:04:09,283 Ah-ah-ah-ah. [ Gasps ] 107 00:04:10,783 --> 00:04:12,118 Ah! Ah! 108 00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:14,086 Ah! [ Gasps ] 109 00:04:14,153 --> 00:04:15,421 Augh! Ah-ah-ah! 110 00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:17,456 Ah-ah-ah-ah! 111 00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:19,491 George, you all right in there? 112 00:04:19,558 --> 00:04:20,894 It's time for dinner! 113 00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:21,962 [ Hooting ] 114 00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,131 Oh, my God, George! 115 00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:26,733 ♪♪ 116 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:27,835 [ Hooting frantically ] 117 00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:32,838 Headshot! George! 118 00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:35,674 No! Huh?! It had to be done. 119 00:04:35,741 --> 00:04:37,777 He was getting too close to the Avril Lavigne theory 120 00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:38,811 for his own good. 121 00:04:38,878 --> 00:04:41,080 Operation "Sk8er Boi" is complete. 122 00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:42,615 We'll need you to sign this NDA. 123 00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:44,583 Oh, okay. 124 00:04:44,650 --> 00:04:46,786 Maybe adopt a real kid next time. 125 00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:48,253 Window exit! 126 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,256 [ Crying ] Oh, George, why? 127 00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:51,656 What's this? 128 00:04:51,723 --> 00:04:55,228 "Rory should have ended up with Dean on 'Gilmore Girls'?" 129 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,528 Fucking Dean?! 130 00:04:56,595 --> 00:04:57,863 [ Crying ] Oh, George! 131 00:04:57,930 --> 00:05:01,333 I raised you better than this. [ Sobs ] 132 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,102 Mr. President, let me just say 133 00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:05,171 we are so excited to be working with you 134 00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:06,771 to make socially conscious content. 135 00:05:06,838 --> 00:05:09,175 We were thinking maybe a documentary about health care. 136 00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:11,711 Or a prestige drama about a family 137 00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:13,045 on the south side of Chicago. 138 00:05:13,112 --> 00:05:14,981 Um, I had something else in mind. 139 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:17,183 [ Roars ] 140 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:20,452 [ Machine-gun fire ] 141 00:05:20,519 --> 00:05:22,288 And let me be clear -- 142 00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:24,589 Ah, no, thanks. 143 00:05:24,656 --> 00:05:27,193 ♪ "Barack Obama: Dino Destroyer" ♪ 144 00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:28,794 Boom, baby. Why you taking a nap? 145 00:05:28,861 --> 00:05:30,029 Gotcha, bitch. 146 00:05:30,096 --> 00:05:31,529 That's what I do. ♪ He rides a raptor ♪ 147 00:05:31,596 --> 00:05:33,232 All day. ♪ And his raptor's name is Paul ♪ 148 00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:34,499 ♪ Michelle's in it too ♪ 149 00:05:34,566 --> 00:05:37,669 That's right, baby. [ Gunshots ] 150 00:05:37,736 --> 00:05:42,642 Oh, Barack, you know I love watching you kill those dinos! 151 00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:44,643 Ah, put those two lips on me. 152 00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:46,478 [ Roars ] 153 00:05:46,545 --> 00:05:49,381 Coming soon to Netflix. Pa-pow-pow! Bam! 154 00:05:49,448 --> 00:05:50,983 Barack in your face, baby. 155 00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:55,054 Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary! 156 00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:57,089 [ Cackling ] 157 00:05:57,156 --> 00:05:58,957 Bloody Mary! 158 00:05:59,024 --> 00:06:00,959 Bloody Mary, hi. You've been served. 159 00:06:01,026 --> 00:06:02,328 Oh. Sorry about your divorce. 160 00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:04,330 Ha ha! Believe me, I'm not. 161 00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:06,165 Bloody Dan is a piece of shit, 162 00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:08,100 and I've gone on record about it. 163 00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:10,235 Who goes there? 164 00:06:10,302 --> 00:06:14,406 I smell you, little thief in the shadows. 165 00:06:14,473 --> 00:06:16,709 I'm sorry, great and powerful Smaug. 166 00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:19,478 You must be very small, little thief, 167 00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:22,781 so small that you could hide anywhere -- 168 00:06:22,848 --> 00:06:25,751 behind the gold, behind the gems, 169 00:06:25,818 --> 00:06:29,421 maybe even up my butt, perhaps. 170 00:06:29,488 --> 00:06:32,091 Uh, w-why would I hide up your butt? 171 00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:34,460 When one sleeps beneath the mountain, 172 00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:36,795 one thinks of many things -- 173 00:06:36,862 --> 00:06:40,933 the value of gold, the age of the world, 174 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,103 the feel of little feet and hands 175 00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:46,505 pitter-pattering inside this scaly folds 176 00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:48,640 of your fiery prostate. 177 00:06:48,707 --> 00:06:51,076 L-Look, I just came here to steal some gold. 178 00:06:51,143 --> 00:06:53,245 I'm not trying to Richard Gere you. 179 00:06:53,312 --> 00:06:55,181 What? That was an urban legend. 180 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,283 Let's leave Richard out of this. 181 00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:58,550 You know, for an adventurer, 182 00:06:58,617 --> 00:07:00,653 you really don't seem very adventurous. 183 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,088 Okay, I'm just gonna go. 184 00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:03,522 Or I could go up your butt. 185 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:06,425 Hmm, um, leaving instead. 186 00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:09,996 Someday, Smaug, someday. 187 00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:11,264 ♪♪ 188 00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:12,698 My name is Tom Nook. 189 00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:15,834 The year I turned 19 I made 49 trillion bells, 190 00:07:15,901 --> 00:07:17,769 which actually kind of pissed me off 191 00:07:17,836 --> 00:07:19,739 because it was three shy of a trillion a week. 192 00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:21,339 I started in sales. 193 00:07:21,406 --> 00:07:23,775 My boys and I got a commission on anything we bought or sold, 194 00:07:23,842 --> 00:07:26,879 so we bought and sold everything. 195 00:07:26,945 --> 00:07:28,747 We found an island in international waters 196 00:07:28,814 --> 00:07:30,248 where the feds couldn't reach us. 197 00:07:30,315 --> 00:07:32,617 Pretty soon I'd conned people into joining us. 198 00:07:32,684 --> 00:07:34,153 Once they were there, they needed a house. 199 00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:36,789 And who sold the houses? You got it -- me. 200 00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:37,790 Real estate was easy. 201 00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:39,024 Before they knew it, 202 00:07:39,090 --> 00:07:40,893 some sucker had paid two billion bells 203 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,729 for a five-room house full of clothes and Bunny Day eggs. 204 00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:44,930 Can you imagine? 205 00:07:44,997 --> 00:07:47,065 I was married, till I met Isabelle. 206 00:07:47,132 --> 00:07:49,868 She was blond, gorgeous, irrationally chipper. 207 00:07:49,935 --> 00:07:52,338 Plus I figured she'd like it doggy style [Chuckles] 208 00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:53,972 which...she did not. 209 00:07:54,039 --> 00:07:55,641 I mean, we were into everything -- 210 00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:57,743 you know, repackaging subprime turnip debt, 211 00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,112 dealing counterfeit art through pirates, 212 00:08:00,179 --> 00:08:01,614 smuggling endangered bugs. 213 00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:03,481 Was it illegal? Nah. 214 00:08:03,548 --> 00:08:07,452 But if you want to get rich, you got to be an animal. 215 00:08:07,519 --> 00:08:09,421 Looks like Bethany got veneers. 216 00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:11,490 Oh, that lucky bitch. 217 00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:13,126 [ "Halloween"-type theme plays ] 218 00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,994 ♪♪ 219 00:08:16,061 --> 00:08:18,497 Mama! Papa! My draft card came! 220 00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:20,766 I'm going to Vietnam! 221 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,567 Oh! Dear God! 222 00:08:22,634 --> 00:08:24,437 Papa, we have to send him to Canada. 223 00:08:24,503 --> 00:08:25,537 Nonsense. 224 00:08:25,604 --> 00:08:28,540 Fievel, America has given us so much. 225 00:08:28,607 --> 00:08:32,611 Now it is time for you to return the favor in blood -- 226 00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:33,979 ideally, not yours. 227 00:08:34,045 --> 00:08:36,248 But give those Viet cats hell, son. 228 00:08:36,315 --> 00:08:38,217 [ Acid rock music plays ] 229 00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:43,889 ♪♪ 230 00:08:43,955 --> 00:08:45,457 All: This is my "mouse-ket." 231 00:08:45,523 --> 00:08:48,293 There are many like it, but this one is mine. 232 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,029 Why the hell are you crying, Mousekewitz? 233 00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:52,030 Sir! I just miss my family, sir! 234 00:08:52,097 --> 00:08:53,699 The Army's your family now, rodent! 235 00:08:53,766 --> 00:08:55,635 Now drop and give me 20! 236 00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:56,835 One... 237 00:08:56,902 --> 00:08:58,370 I've seen cancer mice stronger than you! 238 00:08:58,437 --> 00:09:00,239 Hopefully we can defeat the enemy 239 00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:01,640 so we can all go home soon. 240 00:09:01,706 --> 00:09:04,410 Enemy? Look around, kid. There's no enemy. 241 00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:05,911 America is the enemy. 242 00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:08,714 But America's a good country where there are no cats. 243 00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:10,482 Then why the fuck are we out here? 244 00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:12,017 [ Down-tempo piano music plays ] 245 00:09:12,084 --> 00:09:16,121 ♪ Someplace across the sea ♪ 246 00:09:16,188 --> 00:09:19,525 ♪ Under the moon of cheese ♪ 247 00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:20,626 Aah! 248 00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:23,062 You gave up our position, asshole! 249 00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:24,197 [ Machine-gun fire ] 250 00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:26,966 Huh? No! 251 00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:28,734 Aaah! 252 00:09:28,801 --> 00:09:29,937 [ Sighs ] 253 00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:33,206 Well, I underestimated you, Mousekewitz. 254 00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:34,306 You're a goddamn hero. 255 00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:37,076 But, sir, I killed all those cats. 256 00:09:37,142 --> 00:09:39,378 Son, you were born to kill cats. 257 00:09:39,445 --> 00:09:41,547 ♪♪ 258 00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:43,316 [ Imitating gunfire ] 259 00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:44,617 [ Grunting ] 260 00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:46,952 [ Cackling ] Burn, baby! 261 00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:49,288 You want a hit? It's catnip. 262 00:09:49,355 --> 00:09:51,624 Makes ya...see things. 263 00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:54,260 ♪♪ 264 00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:56,696 America. America is the enemy. 265 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,731 Kill cats. Kill 'em! 266 00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:00,298 I love watching you do it. 267 00:10:00,365 --> 00:10:04,202 Hey, Fievel, I'm Don Bluth. I created you. Neat, huh? 268 00:10:04,269 --> 00:10:06,472 That's got to cause some existential conflict. 269 00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:07,474 Holy shit. 270 00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,109 Incoming! 271 00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:10,344 Ugh! 272 00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:13,479 Fievel's awake! 273 00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:15,080 My...legs. 274 00:10:15,147 --> 00:10:18,718 Oh, who needs legs? We'll get you a skateboard. 275 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,286 You're a hero, son. 276 00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:22,255 Where's Tanya? 277 00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:23,790 [ Indistinct shouting ] 278 00:10:23,856 --> 00:10:24,824 Tanya? 279 00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:26,692 Kitty killer! 280 00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:27,760 [ Spits ] 281 00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:30,629 Come on, Fievel. Let's go home. 282 00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:33,465 I don't know if I ever can. 283 00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:37,002 ♪ Some mice are born built to run the maze ♪ 284 00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:40,372 ♪ Others go crying home to mom ♪ 285 00:10:40,439 --> 00:10:43,809 ♪ I lost my way in all those twists and turns ♪ 286 00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:46,611 ♪ But I lost my dick in Vietnam ♪ 287 00:10:46,678 --> 00:10:50,582 ♪ American cheese, American cheese ♪ 288 00:10:50,649 --> 00:10:53,485 ♪ Might be made from old tires ♪ 289 00:10:53,552 --> 00:10:57,590 ♪ American cheese, American cheese ♪ 290 00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:01,493 ♪ It never, ever expires ♪ 291 00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:03,664 Stoopid monkey. 20021

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