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1
00:00:07,407 --> 00:00:09,209
[ Theme music plays ]
2
00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:11,677
[ Laughs ]
3
00:00:11,744 --> 00:00:17,150
♪♪
4
00:00:17,217 --> 00:00:22,622
♪♪
5
00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:24,857
Man: It's alive!
6
00:00:24,924 --> 00:00:31,924
♪♪
7
00:00:32,465 --> 00:00:34,400
[ Laughs ]
8
00:00:34,467 --> 00:00:38,872
♪♪
9
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:40,940
[ Laughs ]
10
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:44,410
Oh, yeah.
I'm ready.
11
00:00:44,476 --> 00:00:46,445
Give it to me,
Rube Goldberg.
12
00:00:46,512 --> 00:00:48,982
Hold on.
Let me put on a condom.
13
00:00:53,152 --> 00:00:55,154
[ Mouse squeaking ]
14
00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:57,558
Oh, uh...
15
00:00:58,658 --> 00:00:59,993
Hm.
16
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,028
Mm-hmm.
17
00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:03,096
Mm, yeah.
18
00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:06,866
Uh, uh...
19
00:01:06,933 --> 00:01:09,336
Uh...hmm.
20
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:10,703
Mm?
21
00:01:10,770 --> 00:01:12,372
Oh, um...
22
00:01:12,438 --> 00:01:14,540
Oh, um, oka-- okay?
23
00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:16,810
[ Train horn blows ]
Mm. Uh...
24
00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:21,047
I've lost my erection.
25
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:25,051
Hey, hey!
26
00:01:25,117 --> 00:01:27,320
Who's knock-knocking
on Genie's door?
27
00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:28,654
Hi, uh, Mr. Genie.
28
00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:31,657
I'm one of the bell-ringers
you magically created
29
00:01:31,723 --> 00:01:34,294
for Prince Ali's parade
today.
[ Clanking ]
30
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,495
Uh-huh.
Yeah,
I-I just remember
31
00:01:36,561 --> 00:01:40,632
appearing next to 30 other dudes
dressed in these weird hats
32
00:01:40,699 --> 00:01:43,736
pumping these bells
up and down in the air.
33
00:01:43,803 --> 00:01:45,104
Like,
do you know who I am?
34
00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:46,205
Do I have a name?
35
00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:47,774
I mean, I know
I'm damn good at bells.
36
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:50,109
[ Chuckles ]
Uh, Bellford.
Bellford's your name.
37
00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:52,745
Okay, Bell Jar-Jar Binks.
Uh, I should turn in.
38
00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:55,982
And you know the 53 peacocks
and 95 white Persian monkeys
39
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,282
we were singing about?
40
00:01:57,349 --> 00:02:00,286
Can you wish me, uh,
some white Persian monkey food?
41
00:02:00,353 --> 00:02:01,988
They fling poo
when they're hungry.
42
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,789
Kevin, buddy,
I don't make the wishes.
43
00:02:03,856 --> 00:02:04,891
I make the magic.
44
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,626
What happens afterwards,
I quite literally
45
00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:08,094
don't give a shit.
Door slam.
46
00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:10,764
[ Animals calling ]
It's a no, guys.
47
00:02:11,797 --> 00:02:15,801
A pen. I gave Diane my heart,
and she gave me a pen.
48
00:02:15,868 --> 00:02:17,872
Woman: Well,
have you tried the pen?
49
00:02:21,274 --> 00:02:23,511
Whoa! Ooh!
50
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:30,251
[ Both moaning ]
51
00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:35,221
We must stop
before Barbie sees us.
52
00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:36,489
Barbie: Ken.
[ Gasps ]
53
00:02:36,556 --> 00:02:39,993
Ken, Ken, why did I find this
in our bedroom?
54
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:42,095
[ Dramatic music plays ]
55
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,596
Frilly underwear.
56
00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:46,132
[ Dramatic music plays ]
Oh, no.
57
00:02:46,199 --> 00:02:48,501
That's nothing, darling.
I --
[ Doorbell rings ]
58
00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:50,770
Who could that be?
At this hour?
59
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:52,505
[ Dramatic music plays ]
60
00:02:52,572 --> 00:02:53,907
Totally Tattoo Barbie?
61
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,641
But I thought
you were discontinued.
62
00:02:55,708 --> 00:02:57,810
I may have been discontinued,
but I never die.
63
00:02:57,877 --> 00:02:59,879
In fact, I've totally been
living next door
64
00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:01,547
and sleeping with Ken
for months.
65
00:03:01,614 --> 00:03:03,582
[ Giggles ]
You are totally
full of lies.
66
00:03:03,649 --> 00:03:04,617
Oh, yeah?
[ Gasps ]
67
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,419
[ Dramatic music plays ]
68
00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:07,687
Slap, slap!
[ Doorbell rings ]
69
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:09,755
Who could that be?
At this hour?
70
00:03:09,822 --> 00:03:12,225
[ Dramatic music plays ]
Holiday Memories Barbie?
71
00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:13,426
What are you doing here?
72
00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:15,961
I had amnesia, but I finally
got my memory back.
73
00:03:16,028 --> 00:03:18,364
I remember all the holidays
I spent with you,
74
00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:22,568
which led me to remember that
I am, in fact, your twin sister.
75
00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:25,238
It can't be.
I don't remember you.
76
00:03:25,305 --> 00:03:27,173
You got amnesia, too,
Barbie.
77
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,442
I mean, look at us.
We're identical.
78
00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:32,478
[ Doorbell rings ]
Another guest?
At this hour?
79
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:35,614
[ Dramatic music plays ]
Picture Pockets Barbie,
what are you doing here?
80
00:03:35,681 --> 00:03:37,983
I have a picture in my pocket
that you need to see.
81
00:03:38,050 --> 00:03:41,420
[ Dramatic music plays ]
[ Gasps ] Ken!
How could you?
82
00:03:41,487 --> 00:03:42,322
Slap, slap!
83
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:43,989
[ Speaks indistinctly ]
Slap!
84
00:03:44,056 --> 00:03:47,794
I'm sorry, Barbie, but there's
also something you must know.
85
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,462
[ Dramatic music plays ]
I am also your twin.
86
00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:50,730
[ Gasps ]
[ Gasps ] Oh, yeah.
87
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:53,933
I also forgot to mention,
I'm also your long-lost twin.
88
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:54,934
Oh, my!
[ Gasps ]
89
00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:56,535
I have to admit
something, too.
90
00:03:56,602 --> 00:03:59,005
Barbie,
I am also your twin.
91
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,874
[ Dramatic music plays ]
92
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:01,874
Oh!
93
00:04:01,941 --> 00:04:04,077
Together: Ken, my love!
Oh, no!
94
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:05,579
We've got to get him
to the hospital.
95
00:04:08,147 --> 00:04:10,383
[ Dramatic music plays ]
My God, my twin!
96
00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:12,119
Oh, my God!
97
00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:15,187
[ Dramatic music plays ]
My God, could it be?
98
00:04:15,254 --> 00:04:17,190
My long-lost twin brother?
99
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:20,460
I finally found you.
Oh, no.
100
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,828
I hate to say this
to my own twin brother,
101
00:04:22,895 --> 00:04:25,998
but, Ken, you have a brain
tumor, and you are going to die.
102
00:04:26,065 --> 00:04:28,501
[ All crying,
speaking indistinctly ]
103
00:04:28,568 --> 00:04:30,302
I also have something
to say.
104
00:04:30,369 --> 00:04:32,137
It's a good thing
we're at the hospital
105
00:04:32,204 --> 00:04:34,941
because I'm pregnant...
[ Barbies gasp ]
106
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:37,310
with your baby.
Mine?
107
00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:38,811
[ Flatline ]
108
00:04:38,878 --> 00:04:39,913
[ All crying,
speaking indistinctly ]
109
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,747
Not my brother!
110
00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:43,949
[ Crying ] How will I ever
replace my Ken?
111
00:04:44,016 --> 00:04:47,387
Did somebody say "Ken"?
[ Dramatic music plays ]
112
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,023
He-llo.
113
00:04:51,257 --> 00:04:54,727
I can't wait to see
what Totoro looks like now.
114
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,495
Me, too.
Okay, Totoro,
115
00:04:56,562 --> 00:04:59,700
come on out and show us
how much weight you lost.
116
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,536
[ Both scream ]
117
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:04,938
Oh, my God!
118
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:07,173
My eyes, my eyes!
119
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,474
Ugh, where am I?
120
00:05:08,541 --> 00:05:11,878
Hello, Mark.
I want to play a game.
121
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:15,047
If you can't saw off
both your arms in 1 minute,
122
00:05:15,114 --> 00:05:17,149
10 gallons of acid
will drop from the ceiling.
123
00:05:17,216 --> 00:05:20,252
Oh, my God.
You still ride a tricycle?
124
00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:22,857
What are you, 4?
[ Laughs ]
125
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:27,059
[ Crying ]
Hey, kiddo.
126
00:05:27,126 --> 00:05:30,395
Aw, another victim make fun
of your trike?
Yes.
127
00:05:30,462 --> 00:05:33,833
Well, maybe it's time
I teach you how to ride a bike.
128
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:36,301
This is terrifying.
129
00:05:36,368 --> 00:05:38,003
♪ Jigsaw and Billy
riding bikes together ♪
130
00:05:38,070 --> 00:05:41,807
♪ Nothing they can't weather
with love on their side ♪
131
00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:45,043
♪ I know you're afraid,
but there's nothing to fear ♪
132
00:05:45,110 --> 00:05:51,083
♪ 'Cause Daddy is here
to fill you with pride ♪
I'm doing it.
I'm doing it.
133
00:05:51,150 --> 00:05:53,452
[ Gasps ] Huh?
What's going on?
134
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:56,989
Hello, Justin.
I want to play a game.
135
00:05:57,056 --> 00:05:58,791
You have to cut off
your testicles,
136
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:00,126
then cut out your eyes,
137
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,361
put your eyes where your nuts
were, and vice-versa.
138
00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:04,631
[ Laughs maniacally ]
Holy shit.
139
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,599
You are a natural
on that bicycle.
140
00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:08,134
[ Bicycle bell dings ]
141
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,768
Thanks for the shirt,
guys.
142
00:06:09,835 --> 00:06:12,238
I-I can't believe
you think I'm the world's --
143
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:15,275
Ah!
There can be only one!
144
00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:20,680
Narrator:
He was a championship coach
who took on the impossible.
145
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:23,049
The hell was that?
146
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:25,117
Foul!
147
00:06:25,184 --> 00:06:26,618
Announcer:
The Harlem Globetrotters
are running rings
148
00:06:26,685 --> 00:06:30,055
around
the Washington Generals.
Oh, my God.
149
00:06:30,122 --> 00:06:33,559
The players are getting
hypnotized with an umbrella.
150
00:06:33,626 --> 00:06:35,829
Narrator: They told him
it was impossible.
151
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,095
Coach,
it's not a real game.
152
00:06:37,162 --> 00:06:39,933
Yeah, you're telling me.
Guy did a cartwheel out there.
153
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,667
That's not traveling?
154
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:43,202
Nah,
don't you get it?
155
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:45,538
Our team has been told
to lose.
156
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:47,573
By who, society?
157
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,275
But he wouldn't give up.
158
00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:51,244
We're going to play
with the circus.
159
00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:53,513
We're going to train
with the circus.
160
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,348
[ Elephant trumpets ]
161
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,682
Are those elephants?
162
00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:59,019
But just when victory
seemed within reach...
163
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,053
Great practice, guys.
164
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,620
A little more
trampoline work,
165
00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:03,088
and we're --
what's this?
166
00:07:03,155 --> 00:07:05,824
We're the Baltimore Rockets
now.
You're leaving me?!
167
00:07:05,891 --> 00:07:07,894
Nah, they just
change the name sometimes
168
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,696
so it looks like
the Globetrotters
169
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:10,830
play multiple opponents.
170
00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:11,998
We're the same team.
171
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:14,201
Narrator:
...he lost it all.
[ Grunts ]
172
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:15,402
Chair!
Ah!
173
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:17,003
-[ Grunts ]
-Oh!
174
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,371
Go to hell!
175
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,006
You're not leaving me.
176
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:22,141
I'm leaving you.
Whoa!
177
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:24,010
Narrator: This summer...
Let's do it for Coach.
178
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:25,446
Flying chair!
179
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:29,216
You ready to be
0 and 16,006?
180
00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:31,817
[ Ting! ]
181
00:07:31,884 --> 00:07:36,489
...the best way to win
is to actually start trying.
Slam dunk.
182
00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:38,624
[ Groaning ]
Slamming the du-u-nk!
183
00:07:38,691 --> 00:07:40,159
You're not
supposed to win.
184
00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:42,228
And angels
aren't supposed to fly.
185
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,964
[ Buzzer ]
[ Chuckles ]
Glitter bucket.
186
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:48,101
Oh, what are you idiots doing?
I hired you to lose.
187
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:50,736
Oh, I'm ruined,
ruined.
188
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:53,907
Excitement,
hoot, and holler!
189
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,810
"The Washington Generals."
190
00:07:58,210 --> 00:08:01,080
Hey, Arnold, why you looking
so glum on this beautiful day?
191
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,348
It's Mother's Day.
192
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,917
I never got to meet mine
because she died in childbirth.
193
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,385
Oh, God.
[ Grunting ]
194
00:08:06,452 --> 00:08:08,955
Come on, Mrs. Shortman,
just one more push.
195
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,423
You can do it, honey.
196
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,291
Oh, God!
Oh, my God!
197
00:08:12,358 --> 00:08:14,561
Is that a football?
I've got him.
I got him.
198
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,161
[ Grunts, screams ]
199
00:08:16,228 --> 00:08:17,897
[ Blows whistle ]
It's good.
[ Car alarm blaring ]
200
00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:20,868
Turns out, dads can die
in childbirth, too.
201
00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:25,638
Well, hello there,
ladies.
202
00:08:25,705 --> 00:08:27,907
We were actually hoping
your hot brother was here
203
00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:29,241
to take our order.
204
00:08:29,308 --> 00:08:31,444
You ladies want to skip the
movie and take turns making out?
205
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:32,712
Yeah.
Sure, Drake.
206
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:34,246
[ Grunts ]
207
00:08:34,313 --> 00:08:36,048
[ Groans ]
Drake has it so easy.
208
00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:38,851
If I looked like him, I'd be
the one getting the girls.
209
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:40,652
Josh, I don't pay you
to monologue.
210
00:08:40,719 --> 00:08:43,122
Get back to work.
But Drake
just left his shift
211
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,824
to go make out
with girls again.
212
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:46,792
Well, maybe
if you looked like him,
213
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:49,662
you'd get the same allowance
as he does as a hot person.
214
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:50,997
If only there was a way
215
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:53,733
to take his face off his face
and put it on my face
216
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,803
and take my face off my face
and put it on his face.
217
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,037
Hmm.
218
00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:01,474
Another day of minimum work
thanks to my face.
219
00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:03,544
[ Both grunt ]
220
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:08,047
[ Groans ]
What happened?
221
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:10,316
Aah!
Ooh, what's up,
brother?
222
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,118
I know
we're not related,
223
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:14,653
but now it's like
looking in a mirror.
224
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,255
W-Why do you have
my face?
225
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:17,590
So sorry, brother,
226
00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:20,159
but your days of being
the hot, popular one are over.
227
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:23,195
I took your face off your face
and put it on my face
228
00:09:23,262 --> 00:09:26,265
and took my face off my face
and put it on your face.
229
00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:28,735
I feel like there's got to be
an easier way to say that.
230
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:29,769
There isn't.
231
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,303
Now,
if you'll excuse me,
232
00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:33,672
I have a harem of tween girls
to attend to.
233
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:35,742
Ta-ta.
Not my tween groupies.
234
00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:38,077
[ Grunting ]
Hug me, brother.
235
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,647
Drake!
236
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:42,815
Surprise.
Where did you get a gun?
237
00:09:42,882 --> 00:09:45,084
Someone on the street
gave it to me 'cause I'm hot.
238
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:46,585
Rhetorical question,
brother,
239
00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:49,289
because I've had the same thing
happen to me my whole life.
240
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:50,689
Bang-bang!
241
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:53,227
[ Speaks indistinctly ]
Rat-tat-tat-tat-
tat-tat-tat-tat!
242
00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:57,730
Indiscriminate firing!
243
00:09:57,797 --> 00:09:59,365
That's it.
Josh, you're fired.
244
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,334
But Josh -- I-I mean,
Drake started it!
245
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:02,768
Doesn't matter.
He's hot.
246
00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:05,171
He's allowed to start shootouts
in public places.
247
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:06,539
Thanks, babe.
Aah!
248
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,776
Dodge.
249
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:14,181
[ Siren wailing ]
[ Coughs ]
250
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:18,184
Arrest me.
I don't care.
251
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:19,952
I'll still be hot and popular
in prison.
252
00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:21,287
Yeah,
a pretty boy like you
253
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,422
is bound to get a lot
of attention in the slammer.
254
00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:25,558
Ah, I didn't think
this part through. [ Chuckles ]
255
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:26,592
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
256
00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:27,826
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
257
00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:29,895
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
258
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:30,963
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
259
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:32,197
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
260
00:10:32,264 --> 00:10:34,233
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
261
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,201
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
262
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:36,435
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
263
00:10:36,502 --> 00:10:38,338
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
264
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:40,741
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
265
00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:44,645
Stoopid Monkey.
19144
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