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1
00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:18,240
[knocking]
2
00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:19,920
Just gonna be a second.
3
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:21,160
[knocking]
4
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,440
[sighs]
5
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,200
Come on,
Sharon's gonna be back
in half an hour,
6
00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:26,320
and I need to piss.
7
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,360
♪♪
8
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:37,000
[laughs]
9
00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:38,720
I can't get up.
[laughs]
10
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:39,760
Did you wipe your ass?
11
00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:43,560
[sobbing]
12
00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:47,760
Why?
[sobbing]
13
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:49,800
[sneezes]
14
00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:54,200
[sobbing]
15
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:55,240
[groans]
16
00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:57,080
[panting]
17
00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:58,560
Oh...
18
00:00:58,600 --> 00:00:59,960
Oh...
19
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,320
Why are you doing
that noise?
20
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:04,800
Oh, thank Jesus Christ.
21
00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:07,200
Oh, I dreamt I was drunk,
22
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,640
and I couldn't get off
the toilet.
23
00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,080
[groans]
You sure that was a dream?
24
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:13,280
Sounds more like a memory.
25
00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:16,160
[sighs]
What time is it?
26
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:22,680
It's 3:15.
You should go back to sleep.
27
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:25,640
Fergal gets in
at some stupid hour.
28
00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:27,720
Jesus.
29
00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:29,520
What?
30
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,320
I just don't know if I can
deal with him right now.
31
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:35,000
Why are you having to plan
his birthday party?
32
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:38,720
Plus, adults shouldn't have
birthday parties.
33
00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:42,000
You sound like
a super villain.
34
00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:43,280
Goodnight.
35
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,120
Can I play with your tits
a little bit?
36
00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:50,440
Do you mind if I
go back to sleep?
37
00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:52,720
-No.
-Then go nuts.
38
00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:54,680
♪♪
39
00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:01,560
♪♪
40
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:02,760
What you think?
41
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,000
Well, my concern
with Maroon Thrive
42
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:07,560
is that their set list
includes both Shaggy and Enya,
43
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,560
which is impressive,
but it's like,
where's your passion?
44
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,080
It was grand for
a bar mitzvah,
45
00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:12,800
but for a milestone birthday?
46
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,360
I say we keep looking.
47
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:15,600
I'm not asking what you
think of them, Fergal,
48
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,360
I'm showing you
who I booked.
49
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,320
-They're not that bad,
are they?
-Oh, they suck.
50
00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:20,880
I think they'd be perfect
for your party.
51
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:22,560
Maybe you can get Mallandra
to play her castanets
52
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:23,880
along with them.
53
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,120
You know,
jazz 'em up a little bit.
54
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:26,680
-[laughs]
-Mallandra's not coming.
55
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,800
They threw a little
ham party for me in Spain
anyway.
56
00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,520
By the way,
no ham at this party.
57
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:33,960
Oh, no, I thought we could
get pizzas delivered at,
58
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,560
what do you think,
like 9 p.m.?
59
00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,560
Yeah, well,
it depends what time
we cut the cake, right?
60
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,360
You know what,
I would cut it after
musical chairs,
61
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,080
but before the piñata.
62
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,560
Just because you're
unhappy with you life
63
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,160
doesn't mean I can't
celebrate mine.
64
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:47,880
What did Captain Piss Parade
do for his 40th?
65
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,840
Oh, I can't remember
what we--
66
00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,000
Oh, yeah.
Weren't you in Toronto
for your 40th?
67
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,840
No, I wasn't.
I was supposed to be,
68
00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,240
but I changed the trip
to be here for my birthday.
69
00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:59,720
But it is funny how
through the mist of time
70
00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:02,960
you've latched on to
the Toronto myth to
absolve yourself.
71
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,160
It was probably
so last minute,
72
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,000
we didn't have time to
organize anything.
73
00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:07,960
I didn't need to go
to the Ritz. I mean,
we could have gone anywhere.
74
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,600
We could have gone
to fuckin' Five Guys.
75
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,760
I love Five Guys.
Let's get Five Guys instead.
76
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,360
Unbelievable.
77
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:14,680
Also, we need to get
some balloons.
78
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,920
-Maybe black balloons?
-Black balloons.
79
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:18,680
I'm not turning seven.
You know the sort of thing.
80
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,000
Masculine balloons.
81
00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,400
[scoffs] Fine.
Who else are we asking?
82
00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:24,160
Oh, do you know Mum's
coming over for your birthday.
83
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,480
-Yeah, sure she is.
-What do you mean?
84
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,280
She's coming over
to see her new man.
85
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:29,800
[laughs]
86
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:31,520
What the fuck?
87
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,680
ROB: And, you know,
it's not even Fergal's fault.
88
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,760
It's the fact that Sharon
not only tolerates him,
89
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,000
but enjoys him that
drives me insane.
90
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:40,440
Yeah, you said that
at the meeting.
91
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:41,840
And, you know,
I realize this is
92
00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:43,160
the kind of time when
I would have drank,
93
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,080
but I'm not gonna
give 'em that power.
94
00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,720
You know,
that'd be like giving
a weasel a machine gun,
95
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,120
which I would never do.
96
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:50,800
-[snickers]
-What's funny?
97
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:52,880
Uh, no, it's just your
biggest problem right now
98
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,160
is some asshole
who lives in Spain.
99
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,960
I wish I could worry
about stuff that small.
100
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,120
Oh, what would you
like me to get upset about?
101
00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:00,640
Well, take your pick.
102
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:03,480
I mean,
there is some bad shit
coming down the line.
103
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,360
I mean,
we are not far away from
104
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:08,400
total societal collapse,
my friend.
105
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:09,960
Do you know that
London's water supply
106
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,960
could be compromised
like that?
107
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,080
Man, you need to get off
your basement computers.
108
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:17,480
This isn't paranoia.
109
00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,320
I mean, there are
two points of entry,
110
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,920
Croydon and Hampstead.
111
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,440
You hit both of those
at the same time,
112
00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:25,560
you can expect
4 million casualties
in under an hour.
113
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,000
-4 mil--
-Mm-hm.
114
00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:28,360
Aren't there, like,
10 million people in London?
115
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:30,080
I mean,
that's not that bad.
116
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:33,480
Anyway, I picked up our
New Zealand passports
this morning,
117
00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:34,880
so we got a game plan.
118
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:36,920
What?
How'd you get those?
119
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:38,600
Dark web.
120
00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:39,880
I mean,
it started out
121
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,360
I just wanted to
see if I could.
122
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:43,560
I-- I mean, they're not
100 percent legal,
123
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:44,920
like in a court
or whatever,
124
00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:47,160
but for fathers who
care about their families,
125
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,360
New Zealand really is
the only way to go.
126
00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:53,000
Want me to
look into it for you?
127
00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:56,040
♪♪
128
00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:57,560
CAROL:
The flight was lovely.
129
00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:00,080
And Stephen was
waiting for me in arrivals
130
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:01,520
with a homemade panini.
131
00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:02,720
[Stephen laughs]
132
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,120
I-- I have a panini press.
133
00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:06,360
Oh...
[chuckles]
134
00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:07,640
Who are you?
135
00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:09,920
I mean, h--,
um, how'd you meet?
136
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:14,240
Well, Stephen was on
a shoot in Mullingar.
137
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,720
Stephen's a model,
if that's not obvious.
138
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,360
-You're a model?
-Well, technically.
139
00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:21,920
It's all very new.
I was an accountant
for 40 years.
140
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,440
Stephen was scouted
in Gatwick Airport
141
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,000
on his way back from
Ayia Napa.
142
00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,200
[chuckles] Wow.
143
00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,760
That's--
I didn't know that--
that people even--
144
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,640
I just thought young models
grew into old models.
145
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:37,400
You know, after a while
you stop doing swimsuit stuff,
146
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,200
and you start advertising
hot water bottles.
147
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:41,480
[laughs]
148
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:44,600
No, I, uh--
I do swimsuit work.
149
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:45,840
Rob was nearly
a model once.
150
00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,280
-Well, I wasn't, um--
-He was.
151
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,000
I had some people
say that I--
152
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:50,920
Uh, does anyone
want a drink?
153
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,240
-Yeah.
-No.
154
00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:53,920
-[door closes]
-FERGAL: Hello!
155
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:55,920
Oh, it's Fergal.
156
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:57,160
Hello, son.
157
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,840
This is Stephen.
158
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:02,840
Stephen,
this is my son Fergal.
159
00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,400
-Hi.
-Come here, you.
160
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:09,080
♪♪
161
00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:12,840
SHARON: Did you see the way
she laughed at his jokes?
162
00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:14,560
It was obscene.
163
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,480
Who uses their tongue
to laugh?
164
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,280
What was that?
165
00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:19,680
Do you think
they're having sex?
166
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:21,040
I don't know.
Maybe.
167
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,720
She still has her
original hips, right?
168
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:24,440
Oh, God.
169
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,920
I don't know how I feel
about that.
170
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,080
I mean, we barely
have sex anymore,
and that's fine,
171
00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:32,080
but... now my mum's gonna be
doing it more than me.
172
00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:33,880
Maybe this is
a wake up call.
173
00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:35,400
Should we start making
more of an effort?
174
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,160
I don't know.
175
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:41,000
I mean, here's how I feel
about sex with you these days.
176
00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:43,480
On paper,
it sounds amazing.
177
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,760
But if you were to
initiate it, like tonight,
178
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,160
-I'd just be angry.
-[sighs]
179
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,520
But I still have
a fond feeling
when I look at you.
180
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,880
Maybe that's enough.
181
00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:54,520
Goddamn it,
it is enough.
182
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:57,560
♪♪
183
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,240
[laughing]
184
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:06,840
Your mum's boyfriend
is a fuckin' ride.
185
00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:08,880
-Good for her.
-No, not good for her.
186
00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,360
My dad died six months ago.
That's nothing.
187
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,760
There's stuff in my fridge
that's more than six months old.
188
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,320
How's it goin', Rob?
Do you want a drink?
189
00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:17,680
Uh, no, thanks, uh,
I have alcoholism.
190
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,600
Even on your
brother-in-law's birthday?
191
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,040
Yeah, even then.
192
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,600
That's why AA
would never work for me.
193
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:25,520
It's, like,
be reasonable.
194
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:26,720
SHARON: I told Anna
to get here by 7:30.
195
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,120
Is that okay?
196
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:29,640
I thought you and me
could get there early,
197
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:31,200
blow up the balloons.
198
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:32,880
I can help with
balloons.
199
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,160
In college
I taught myself
200
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:35,920
how to tie them off
with my tongue.
201
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,280
Also,
I have no gag reflex.
202
00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,360
That's unrelated.
203
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,320
Are you all right,
Ciaran?
204
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,760
Are we meeting the other
St. Joseph lads in the pub?
205
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,160
No, no,
I think it's just me.
206
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,280
Yeah, a lot of those lads
don't like Fergal,
207
00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:50,200
so I didn't really know
why he invited them.
208
00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:51,880
Why don't they like him?
209
00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:54,880
Oh, some fuckin'
time share bollocks
in Montenegro
210
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:56,400
that he roped them into
that went tits up
211
00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:57,880
the second their
checks cleared.
212
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:06,320
You look lovely,
Fergal.
213
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,640
Do you have eyeliner on?
214
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:11,240
[scoffs] No.
215
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,080
Just a bit of lip gloss.
216
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:17,800
♪♪
217
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:19,440
[indistinct chatter]
218
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,240
[door opens]
219
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,680
Honey, um,
I have sad news.
220
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:28,600
I have diarrhea,
and it's pretty bad,
221
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:30,440
so I don't think
I can make the party.
222
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:31,480
Sorry.
223
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:33,520
Bullshit.
You have diarrhea.
224
00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:34,800
I know when you have
diarrhea.
225
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:36,000
The house smells like
a poultry farm,
226
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:37,600
and you're covered in sweat.
227
00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:40,400
Okay. I don't want to come
to Fergal's party.
228
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:42,240
What? You have to come.
229
00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:43,520
I don't have to come.
Look, just tell him
230
00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,640
I have diarrhea,
and it hurts,
231
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:47,400
and he won't care anyway.
232
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,080
Yeah, he might not care,
but I'd really like you
to be there.
233
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:51,440
Come on, it'll be fun.
234
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,200
Honey, look,
my idea of fun
235
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:55,520
isn't pushing Fergal home
in a wheelbarrow
236
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:56,840
'cause you're too drunk
to do it.
237
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,280
Okay, the Pope.
Well, you know what?
238
00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,280
The wheelbarrow thing
sounds like brilliant fun,
239
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,760
actually, so maybe we've got
a bigger problem here.
240
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,600
But it's good to know that
this is my future
241
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,400
as the wife of a dry drunk.
242
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,400
Used to be you'd just
stand in the corner
scowling at parties.
243
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,080
Now you won't
be there at all.
244
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,160
Yeah, well, I hope you have
some hand cream in your bag
245
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:16,440
-in case you get to
jerk off any--
-[door slams]
246
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:19,600
You know, that's just
a funny joke that we have.
247
00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:24,200
Um, so listen, uh,
looks like we won't
need you tonight, Anna,
248
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:25,760
so I'm sorry.
249
00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:27,360
What? Sorry if
I cancelled plans
250
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,760
and that I was gonna
use this money
251
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:30,520
to buy my nephew Rocky
a birthday present?
252
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:34,960
So what I'll do is
I'll just go read upstairs,
253
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,400
and, um, it's great
that you're here.
254
00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:42,640
♪♪
255
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,760
♪♪ [volcalizing]
256
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:45,840
Everybody!
257
00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:48,880
♪♪ [vocalizing]
258
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:55,360
Hey.
259
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,280
-You havin' fun?
-No.
260
00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:59,040
Maybe it wouldn't feel
so pathetic
261
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,880
if you hadn't booked
an actual barn for
my party.
262
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:03,520
Was the O2 Arena
not available?
263
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,240
I'm sorry,
I expected more people.
264
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:08,000
Oh, right,
so it's my fault.
265
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,880
[sighs] This is not
an honest representation
266
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:11,040
of me as a people person.
267
00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:12,840
Do you want to dance,
Ciaran?
268
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,200
Sure.
269
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,640
Yeah, let me drink...
three more beers?
270
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,440
You're on.
271
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:22,440
This is considerably
more depressing than
your father's funeral.
272
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,360
Oh...
273
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,400
♪♪
274
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,520
WOMAN [on TV]:
Bakers now face an agonizing
wait for the sugar.
275
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,160
What?
276
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,320
They don't have
nearly enough time
to do spung sugar.
277
00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:41,520
What, do they think
they're Rumplestiltskins?
278
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:44,880
Why don't you go
to the party?
279
00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:46,240
I don't like
my brother-in-law.
280
00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:49,000
-Do you like Sharon?
-Yes, I like Sharon.
281
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:50,600
Just not enough to
go to the party.
282
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,640
-How does that work then?
-What do you mean?
283
00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,760
Well, you don't like fun.
Sharon does.
284
00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:57,520
[scoffs]
Don't like fun.
285
00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,840
Ask Ricky Pratt
if I like fun.
286
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:01,280
We went to karate camp
together,
287
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:04,120
[laughs] and, yeah,
we were animals.
288
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,640
-So it's--
-[cell phone chimes]
289
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,440
[sighs]
290
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,040
[sighs]
291
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:18,520
I won't be late.
292
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:25,240
♪♪
293
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,600
[sighs]
Christ.
294
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:35,680
♪♪
295
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,200
♪ We move like
cagey tigers ♪
296
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:49,000
♪ We couldn't get
closer than this ♪
297
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,640
♪ The way we walk,
the way we talk ♪
298
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:53,160
♪ The way we stalk,
the way we kiss ♪
299
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,440
How are you?
You okay?
300
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,680
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
I mean...
301
00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:59,160
I'm lonely in my own home,
but apart from that,
302
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,320
everything's great.
303
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,040
Chris looks happy.
304
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,440
Everybody looks happy.
305
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:07,520
You don't.
306
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,040
Fran, you want another gin?
307
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,320
Can I get--
Oh, no, you look like
you've had enough.
308
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,000
Uh, hello?
309
00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:15,840
So, Douglas,
how did you get into
310
00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,080
the whole
plastic surgery game?
311
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,600
Did you go to med school
to become a real doctor
312
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:21,840
and then think,
you know what,
313
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:23,480
any asshole
can save a life.
314
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:26,440
What I'd like to do is
give women weird hard tits
315
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:27,800
that start at
their collar bones.
316
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,440
It's not all tits.
317
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:32,040
Last week I reconstructed
an eight-year-old's face
318
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,800
who'd been attacked
by her neighbor's dog.
319
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,680
Oh, well, that--
I mean, that's different,
that--
320
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:40,520
But I also did
an eye lift yesterday
321
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,840
for a woman who had
a similar issue to yours.
322
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:45,080
I'm not currently taking
new patients,
323
00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:46,960
but I'd be happy to
give you a referral.
324
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:50,560
I don't have an issue.
325
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:53,800
Do I?
326
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:57,360
-Where's Mark and Shane?
-Oh, they fucked off.
327
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,440
-Why?
-I think they went bowling.
328
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,800
Oh, for fuck's sake!
329
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:03,240
Hey, let's get some of
that new drug.
330
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:04,600
You know, the one that
anesthetists use.
331
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,280
The one that killed
those people in Glasgow?
332
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,640
-Yeah, that one.
-Okay, I'll call my cousin.
333
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:12,880
What?
334
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:15,040
Well, can you still
get hard on those?
335
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,160
[horns honk]
336
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,800
[bell dings]
337
00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:24,280
Ma'am. Could you open
the doors?
338
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,200
The stop's just there.
339
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,880
We're an inch from the stop.
340
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,000
You couldn't even use feet
to measure it.
341
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,600
[horn honks]
342
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,720
DRIVER: Sir. Leave the doors
alone, please.
343
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:39,760
Thank you.
344
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,120
♪ Picture this,
we were both butt-naked ♪
345
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:56,080
♪ Bangin' on
the bathroom floor ♪
346
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:59,120
♪ I had tried to
keep her from ♪
347
00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:01,120
♪ What she was
about to see ♪
348
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,080
♪ Why should
she believe... ♪
349
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,000
Check out the artist
formerly known as Douglas.
350
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:06,680
[laughs]
351
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,240
I didn't know you two
were back together.
352
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,440
Oh, uh--
I'm only seeing him
353
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:11,920
because, uh...
354
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:14,920
Doesn't matter.
355
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,360
No, what were you
gonna say?
356
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:21,800
I messed up everything,
didn't I?
357
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:25,320
I screwed everything up.
358
00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,360
Sorry.
359
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,760
I've had
a couple of drinks.
360
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,640
No, no, it's good
because I wanted--
361
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:31,640
Can you ask him to come back?
362
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:33,920
-What?
-Jeffrey.
363
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:37,720
Can you tell him I'm sorry
and ask him to come back?
364
00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,440
-Fran--
-You've got that...
365
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:42,200
lovely girl,
and I've got--
366
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,360
[drumming]
367
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:47,040
Nothing.
368
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,640
♪ Creeping with
the girl next door ♪
369
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:54,440
Going out with
a male model.
370
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:56,280
Our mother.
371
00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,160
It's not even funny.
372
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,360
It's better than
going out with a DJ.
373
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,680
Como te llamo?
374
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:02,960
Sofia.
375
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,560
Should have known.
376
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,640
Sofia con cabello azul.
377
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,680
[chuckles]
378
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,000
What if she's up for it?
379
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,520
What are you gonna do then,
you clown?
380
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:14,200
Don't know.
[clicks tongue]
381
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:18,440
Couldn't get any Fentanyl,
so I got this.
382
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,080
What are they?
383
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,960
They're blue.
384
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:22,960
-Sweet.
-Huh.
385
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,600
Yeah?
Come on.
386
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:27,120
-Take us.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
387
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,520
-Oh!
-Wha--
388
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:31,560
♪♪
389
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:41,600
[grunts]
390
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:47,320
-[groans]
-[bell dings]
391
00:15:56,720 --> 00:16:00,080
♪ Something's comin'
over me bad ♪
392
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:03,600
♪ It's the best
I've ever had ♪
393
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:06,320
♪ I wanna hold her,
wanna hold her tight ♪
394
00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:09,720
♪ Get our teenage kicks
right through the night ♪
395
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,320
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
396
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:14,360
♪♪
397
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,320
Hey.
398
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:21,880
So what's your angle?
399
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:23,080
How do you mean?
400
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:24,880
You know she's
still grieving.
401
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,320
Right, so anything
she tells you is just...
402
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,120
nonsense,
like a fever dream.
403
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:30,640
There's no way
she's over my dad.
404
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,640
Well, it'd be strange
if she were over him.
405
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:34,360
She told me how hard
his death hit you all.
406
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,320
Sounds like he was
a wonderful man.
407
00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:39,480
Yeah, well, he was.
408
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,640
Nice to see you two
chatting.
409
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:42,920
How are you gettin' on?
410
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,760
Yeah, great.
He's great.
411
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:48,200
And I think, you know,
if you two hit pause,
412
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:50,320
and then picked it up again
in a couple of years
413
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,160
when you've had proper time
to grieve for Dad,
414
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:54,280
then I might even
feel good about it.
415
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,240
Yes. Him.
416
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,200
-[grunting]
-What the hell?
417
00:16:58,240 --> 00:16:59,320
[grunting, yelling]
418
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:00,360
SHARON:
What are you doing?
419
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,760
Fergal!
What the fuck?
420
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,200
-[grunting]
-[screaming]
421
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:14,080
♪♪
422
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,320
♪ I wanna hold her,
wanna hold her tight ♪
423
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:25,680
♪ Get teenage kicks
right through the night ♪
424
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:26,800
♪ Hey! ♪
425
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,880
♪♪
426
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:33,680
Hey, guys.
427
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,560
We should maybe
take a taxi.
428
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:38,720
Why?
429
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:41,680
So we can get home quick
and fuck.
430
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:42,760
I'm ovulating.
431
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,800
Oh. [chuckles]
Right.
432
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:46,880
Let's, uh--
433
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,000
What do you say
434
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,880
we go somewhere
and have a chat?
435
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,000
SHARON: Why am I even having
to deal with this anyway?
436
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,320
-It's your fuckin' mate--
-Stop talking at me like that.
437
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,080
You're moaning
about everything.
438
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:01,920
I'm not--
Hey, you came!
439
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:03,400
Hey, did you bring
any diarrhea?
440
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,680
What the hell happened?
Does he have a pulse?
441
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,640
Relax, Nancy, he's just
taking a breather.
442
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:10,560
-Oh, back off, Fergal.
-What is your fucking problem?
443
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:12,320
-You.
-Oh, you think you're
better than me?
444
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,920
-Right now, yeah.
-Well, you're not.
445
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,800
You're like a fuckin'
fun vacuum.
446
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:18,960
You're like
Reverend Footloose.
447
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,960
Everyone, stop dancing!
Stop having fun!
448
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,160
The Reverend fuckin'
Rob Norris is here.
449
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,640
Jesus Christ,
your eyes are, like,
100 percent pupil.
450
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,400
-Are you high?
-It's my birthday!
451
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,680
Oh, Fergal.
Nobody gives a shit.
452
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:32,680
Six people showed up
to celebrate with you,
453
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,320
and one of em's your mom.
454
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:35,320
[gasping]
455
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:36,320
-[screaming]
-Oh, jeez!
456
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:37,560
What are you doing?
457
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:39,080
-[screaming]
-[indistinct yelling]
458
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,640
Be careful!
459
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:42,800
SHARON: Fergal,
get off him!
460
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,320
[grunting]
461
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:46,160
[indistinct yelling]
462
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,480
SHARON: Fergal,
what the fuck!
463
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:48,640
Get off him!
464
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:51,000
Um, who are we here for?
465
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:55,240
♪♪
466
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:56,680
[cell phone chimes]
467
00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:01,320
Oh, come on.
468
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,200
[sighs]
469
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:09,960
What the fuck is
going on with you?
470
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,400
Are you having
a mid-life crisis?
471
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,000
I'm not having
a mid-life--
472
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:16,880
[sighs]
473
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,240
My wife fucking hates me.
474
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,960
When I drive into work,
I think about pulling into
oncoming traffic.
475
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,800
Yeah, maybe it is a crisis.
Not mid-life, though, come on.
476
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:27,800
Jesus Christ!
477
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,560
So what are you gonna do?
Leave her.
478
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:32,560
Because you cannot
continue like this.
479
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:34,520
You're gonna get yourself
in serious trouble
480
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,640
being this much of
an asshole, Fergal.
481
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:39,560
You--
You're gonna be in a bar
one night mouthing off,
482
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:43,280
and some Spanish Vinnie Jones
is gonna smash your face in.
483
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,200
-I can't leave her.
-What?
484
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,320
I fuckin' made a promise
to Dad, okay?
485
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,200
I told him I'd work it out
with Mallandra.
486
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,080
Why would you
promise him that?
487
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:53,320
It made him smile.
488
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,800
Fergal,
he'd had a stroke.
489
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:58,160
He didn't have full control
of his facial muscles.
490
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,520
Oh! Oh, God.
491
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:03,720
-Good morning.
-Morning.
492
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:06,560
Where's Ciaran?
493
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,960
-Um...
-He slept in Frankie's
bunk bed last night.
494
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,560
He's got a concussion,
though,
495
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:13,280
so I think it's important
that we let him sleep.
496
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:15,680
What? No, that is
the opposite of what you do.
497
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:16,760
I'll go check on him.
498
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,480
Does anybody have a mint?
499
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:25,200
Doesn't matter.
500
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:28,240
♪♪
501
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:34,080
I owe you probably
15 apologies.
502
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,480
Look, it's okay.
503
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:38,320
I had a bit of
a revelation earlier.
504
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,960
I used the toilet
after you were in there
this morning,
505
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,800
and the seat was warm.
506
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,040
And I got really angry.
507
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:45,320
Then I thought,
508
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,160
why do I care
how it got warm?
509
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,560
It's warm and it's cozy.
510
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:50,880
What I'm trying to say is,
511
00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:52,400
you're my wife's brother,
512
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:55,000
and I'm glad that
you're leaving,
513
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,960
but I know that you'll
be back at some point,
514
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,040
and that's fine.
515
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:03,440
Just out of curiosity,
516
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:05,720
have you ever hated anything
as much as you hate me?
517
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,240
'Cause it seems
a little excessive.
518
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:10,760
-Shar--
-Can I just--
519
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:11,960
Sorry, can I go?
520
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,880
Mum, I'm sorry about
how I behaved.
521
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,040
You've just lost
your husband, you know,
522
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:19,400
you should be able to do
whatever you want to do
523
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:20,560
when your husband dies.
524
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,560
Including fuck up.
Which you're not.
525
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:24,400
I guess I--
I'm just trying to say
526
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:28,560
don't break up with Stephen
on my account.
527
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:29,800
What were you gonna say?
528
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,320
I was just going to say
529
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,640
I left five euros for Frankie
under his pillow.
530
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:36,200
Oh.
531
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:42,200
Be careful. Okay?
532
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,800
That fit at that age...
533
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:45,800
just seems a bit--
534
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:47,200
I just saying
he could be gay.
535
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,920
You know. I mean,
he's such a good dancer.
536
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:52,040
I don't want you
to get hurt.
537
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:55,200
Well, if he is gay,
he's under deep cover.
538
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:58,240
♪♪
539
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:03,960
How long do you think
you'd wait
540
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,240
to get together with someone
after I die?
541
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:09,120
Like, if I had to go out
and look for 'em?
542
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:11,560
It'd be, you know,
a couple years.
543
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,800
But if somebody came up to me
and was, like,
544
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,320
"I'm fucking you now,"
545
00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:19,400
then I would wait, like,
you know, a day or two.
546
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,480
[chuckles]
Yeah.
547
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,440
If I die,
I would be fine with you
being with someone else.
548
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:27,680
You know, I'm dead.
I don't care.
549
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:29,360
But if the slut
you get together with
550
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:31,880
even suggests my kids
call her mum,
551
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:33,200
I'll haunt her.
552
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:34,560
-[laughs]
-And if Muireann
has her period,
553
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,320
you come to my grave
and you tell me,
554
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:37,880
not your mail order bride.
555
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:39,120
That's non-negotiable.
556
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,600
Hey, I'm sorry I never
threw you a party for
your 40th.
557
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,760
I didn't want a party
for my 40th.
558
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:49,960
Well, a picnic then,
or we could have gone to
the beach.
559
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,480
Just makes me want to cry
thinking about it.
560
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,160
I'm sorry about Fergal.
561
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,520
I know sometimes it seems like
I put my family first,
562
00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:59,680
but I love you.
563
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:00,960
And that's why
I married you,
564
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,320
and not him.
565
00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:05,200
[chuckles] And also
because I'm fun.
566
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,520
-Huh?
-Well, you still think
I'm fun, don't you?
567
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:09,640
I mean, I know I said
fun for me isn't
568
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,800
rolling you and Fergal
around in a wheelbarrow,
569
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:14,000
but, you know,
I'd give it a shot.
570
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:17,320
[laughs]
You are plenty of
great things.
571
00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:19,080
I don't need you
to be fun.
572
00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:22,760
Well, tough luck,
because I am.
573
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:26,080
[laughs]
Get off-- Stop!
574
00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:27,280
-[glass breaks]
-[loud thud]
575
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:28,440
-Ow!
-Oh--
576
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,720
-Jesus!
-I'm sorry.
577
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:33,760
♪♪
40857
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