All language subtitles for Brooklyn.Nine-Nine.S06E04.WEBRip.x264-ION10

- All right, Jeffords,
what's this meeting all about?

I've got a full workload today.

- I didn't call it.
I thought you did.

- What? I did no such thing.

- So if neither of you
called it,

then who did?

- Gina. Right.
- That makes sense.

- Oh!

Oh, Sheila,
that was awesome.

Okay, just stay here.

Wow, can't believe

I executed that to perfection.

- That was amazing.
- Gina, what's this all about?

- I wanted to make one final
grand entrance.

- Final? What do you mean?

- I've decided
to leave the Nine-Nine.

Which is why...

- Oh, okay.

- I'm handing in my two weeks'
notice.

- I don't understand.
What are you gonna do?

- I'm not sure,
but Jake convinced me

it was time to start
a new chapter.

It was time to
spread my wings and fly.

I'm an angel.
I'm an angel.

I'm an angel.
- This is crazy.

I can't imagine
the Nine-Nine without you.

- Don't worry. I have
a parting gift for all of you.

I printed "Time for Gina's
Opinion" hoodies

for you
with your names on them.

Oh, there you go.
- Oh, that's fun.

So like
"Time for Jake's Opinion"?

- What are you, insane? No.

It says
"Time for Gina's Opinion"

in large text on the back

and then your names
are stitched

really tiny on the front.
- Ah.

- I had to guess
at some of the spellings.

- Arnie?
- But that's not all.

Over the next two weeks,
I will be leaving

each of you with
a signature Gina Moment,

something so shocking
that it will stay with you

for the rest of your lives,

much like this interpretive
dance piece,

entitled, "The Linexit."

This dance will be performed
in four movements,

each one expressing one aspect
of my personality.

- Oh.

Awesome.
Was that the first movement?

- What? Are you crazy?
No. That's the warm-up.

Each movement is 45 minutes.
- Oh, damn.

- Hit it!

- Hey, Craptain,
you ready to get curb stomped?

- What?
- At chess.

- We have a weekly match.

I'm teaching Gina to play.

And she, in turn,
is teaching me

to trash talk.
The hospital called.

Your test results came back
positive.

You're a stage five
dumbass.

- Oh!
You have come so far.

- You any good, Gina?
- The best.

- She struggles.
We've been playing

for four years now

and she has yet to defeat me.

- Well, good luck.
I'm rooting for you, Gina.

- You would take
the losers side,

Jeffords, you bitch.

Trash talk.
- Okay.

I don't like this.
I'm gonna go.

- Really good, sir.
Really good.

- I don't know why
you're so confident you'll win.

You still don't even know
the names of all the pieces.

You dumbass.
- Nice.

But I do know the names.
I've simply rebranded them.

My queen is Rihanna.
My king is Beyoncé.

And this little guy is Kevin.

Would you be willing to murder
Kevin, the love of your life?

- Yes. Chess Kevin means
nothing to me.

Gina, have you
thought this through?

Have you considered

the ramifications
of what you're doing?

- Yeah, I mean,
I named this guy Hitchcock

and now I kind of
want him off the board.

- I was talking about
your decision

to leave the Nine-Nine.

Although I understand
your confusion.

There are many parallels
between the game of chess

and the game of life.
- Not really.

They're just a bunch of pieces
of wood on a placemat.

- In chess,
every move has consequences,

some of which won't reveal
themselves until too late.

Even a small, seemingly
insignificant decision

can change the course
of the entire game.

- I feel like you're worried
I haven't considered

the consequences of quitting,
but I have.

- I know you feel you could be
doing more with your life,

but you're leaving the
Nine-Nine without a clear plan.

It's reckless.
- What you don't get,

but the greats do is that
in order to be successful,

sometimes you gotta
be reckless.

Boom.

- Checkmate.
- All right, all right.

I see you.
- It was a good game though

for a dumbass.
- Okay, you're kinda

overusing that one.

Maybe switch it up
a little bit.

- Oh, good note.
You dick.

- That landed good. All right,
re-rack. Let's play again.

Mkay, my move?

- Ah, whites go first.

- Oh, chess
really is like life.

Commentary.

The game you love is racist

and you're complicit.
- So what's your plan?

Not with chess,
with your life moving forward.

- I mean, I could do basically
anything.

I could come up with a new form
of cryptocurrency

called GinaCoin,
make millions.

Could write a YA novel
about literally anything,

I think, and make millions.

I could discover a new type

of melon, make millions.

- I'm not saying your dreams
are unattainable.

But you can pursue them
while you're still

gainfully employed
here at the Nine-Nine.

What's the rush
to turn your back

on stability and a paycheck?

I don't want stability
and a paycheck.

I wanna take a risk.

Quote: "A bird can never
learn to fly

if it doesn't leave
the nest."

End quote.
Gina Linetti, right now.

- Quote, "The bird
that leaves the nest too soon

plummets to its death
on the concrete below."

Captain Raymond Holt,
immediately afterwards.

- Nothing bad
ever happens to me.

I have a crystal in my pocket
at all times.

- What about when you got hit
by that bus?

- That bus was going
60 miles per hour

and here I sit before you
completely fine.

And you wanna say
crystals don't work?

- Gina, I'm serious.

What if you get sick?
Healthcare is expensive.

What if something happens
to your daughter?

- Checkmate.
- Did you just delay

that victory by a few moves

to punctuate your point?

- I did.
- Barf. Rack 'em.

- Okay, Captain,
you made some good points.

I mean,
I get what you're saying

about the healthcare
situation.

- Checkmate.

- I believe
that you're smart enough

and talented enough
to do anything you want.

but you have to have a plan.

- Mm.
Interesting.

Let me ask you something, sir.

Did you always have a plan
for everything you ever did?

You always thought out
every choice you ever made?

- Yes.
By the time I was ten,

I had mapped out
my entire life.

I knew I wanted
to go to the Academy.

I knew I wanted
to become a detective.

- And you did it.
- Then move on to sergeant.

- And you got it.
- Next, lieutenant.

- Nailed it.
- And then, finally, captain.

- Wow.
I'm convinced.

I think I should reconsider
my decision.

- Uh, we're not done
with the game.

- I know.
I just wanted to stand

so I could turn slowly
and say...

But wasn't there another step

in the Holt life plan?

Gosh, what was it?
What came after captain?

I can't seem to remember
for dramatic effect.

- I wanted to be commissioner.

- Gina Moment.
- I get your point.

Even the best laid plans
sometimes don't work out.

- They sure don't.
And now it's time

for Gina's closing thoughts.

Just because
you wanna do something

doesn't mean
you get to do it.

Life is chaos, success is
completely arbitrary,

and confidence is everything.

- I was just worried.

But I guess after working
with you for five years,

I should've realized...

You know what you're doing.
- Thanks, Captain.

- Have you
thought this through?

- Not at all. And yet...

Checkmate.
- That was completely illegal.

That's not at all
how the queen moves.

- That's how this queen moves.
Checkmate.

- It's against
the rules of chess.

- Well, Gina Linetti done
reinvented the game.

- Uh, I'm supporting
your overall career decision,

I'm on board,
but you can't assign--

I won both things.

Chess and the argument.

This little birdie,
she gotta fly the coop.

I'm taking this with me
as a little remembrance, Sir.

Ca-caw! Ca-caw!
Ca-caw!

- Hey.
What are you two up to?

- Eh, I'm on my phone

and Rosa's just
sitting there silently.

The yewzh.
- Well, I was thinking

we could have
a ladies lunch today.

- Amy, I wish I could
do lunch today,

but I'm currently out of town.

- Oh, come on. I wanna hang out
one last time before you--

before you leave us.

You're really special, Gina,

and even though--

I'm sorry.
I just get so emotional

about these things,
you know?

I wish I could be
more like Rosa.

- Huh? I got bored.
What's going on?

- See? She doesn't
even give a damn.

I wish I could do that.

Then I would cry less
at the bank.

It's just
there's this one poster

of this older Asian man
opening up a savings account

for his grandson.
- Okay.

All right, here's what's
gonna happen.

Amy Santiago,
as my parting gift to you,

before I leave your life
forever--

- We'll still see each other
outside of work.

- Before I leave your life
forever, I'm gonna fix you.

I'm gonna teach you
how to be more cool

and detached like me and Rosa.
- What's going on?

- But we could still
go to lunch, right?

I mean--
or not.

Whatevs.
- Decent start.

Yeah, sure, I mean,
we'll go to lunch with you.

Why not?
- Okay, okay, cool.

Just before we go, I'm gonna go
to go the bathroom for a bit.

Not to cry about you leaving.

But just to take a huge dump.

So if you hear any crying
from the bathroom...

Not about you.

It's the dump.

Okay?

- Gina,
since you're leaving,

I'd like to make a toast.

Bye.

- Oh, my God.
That was perfect.

- Mm.
- So nice.

Gina, I got a little

going away
present for you.

Don't worry.
It's nothing big.

- Oh, my goodness. Wow.

- You once said
if you ever die,

you wanted someone to turn
your tweets into a book,

so that's what I did.

- Oh, my God. I said
so many witty things so fast.

- Yeah.

- Amy, I don't know
what to say.

This is horrifying.
- What?

- This is way worse
than crying.

I mean, you put so much work
into this.

I'm completely uncomfortable.
It makes me...

Kinda makes me sick.

Amy, there's something
I want you to do right now.

- Burn the book I made you?
- Yes.

It's the only way to cleanse
your childish sentimentality

and become the true you,
the one that's really Rosa.

- Okay.

Sure.

I mean, it does include

a very personal forward
I wrote

and $75 of my best
archival glue,

but...yeah, this feels good.

- Hey. Never seen you burning
stuff at the bum barrel before.

Right on.

- What was in there, Hitchcock?
- Eh, eh, eh.

First rule of the bum barrel:

never ask somebody
what they're burning.

- Well, okay then.

All right Amy, it's time.

Put the book in the barrel.
Let's go.

- No! I can't do it.

- What? I thought you wanted us
to change you.

- I thought I did too,
but I don't.

I like having emotions, okay?
This is who I am.

You're leaving
and that's a really big change

and I'm gonna cry about it
a lot, okay?

- And there it is.

Another flawless
Gina Moment.

- What? What's going on?

- Amy, the lesson I wanted
to leave you with

is to just be yourself.

If you want to cry
like an idiot

for hours on end,
just do it.

You wanna make
a big old ugly book

full of all my brilliant
thoughts, do it.

Do you!

- Thanks, Gina.

- Oh, wow.

That was really, really sweet.

- Oh, dip! I got Rosa
to feel her feelings too?

Inadvertent Gina Moment.
Two for one.

- Come in, my babies.

Come in.

- Sorry to interrupt,
ladies, but you might

want to take
a couple of steps back.

This is not
going to smell good.

- Un-hug! Un-hug!
- Ugh!

- Hey, does anyone have
a contact at Ellis Island?

- Ellis Island?

What's going on?

- I'm trying to secure
a cool venue

for Gina's going away party,
Gina-rama.

- Oh, that invitation said
"Geena-rama"

not "Gyna-rama."

I thought it was weird they'd
move Gyna-rama from Tampa.

It's really
a warm weather event.

- Wait, I'm confused.
Did the Met fall through?

- That place is stuffy
and lame.

And also, it's $12 million.

But the point is, I decided.
It was my call.

- Just have it at Shaw's.
It doesn't have to be splashy.

- It's a party for Gina.

It absolutely has to be
splashy, Terrence.

- Terrence, would you jump into

a pool without water?

No, the splash
is what keeps you alive.

Splash is life.
- I know what you need.

An insane devil stick
performance.

I have a brand-new routine
that is steamy.

- Boyle, we're looking
for splashy, not steamy,

but thank you.
- Well, steam is what

you get when you add
splash to fire.

- And we will not
keep you in mind.

Hey, that reminds me,
Gina, we still haven't

secured a celebrity guest
for the party.

How would you feel about the
guy who shot that video

of that rat
smoking a vape pen?

- Can we get the rat?
- Pretty sure the rat

is just a big ball of tumors
at this point.

Is that the vibe
you're going for?

- Maybe.
- If you want a celebrity,

I met Leroy Pipe
at Gyna-rama '08.

- I have a buddy who works
in private security.

They do protection
for tons of big names.

He'll know who's in town.

- Fantastic.
Please call him right now.

- No need. Leroy Pipe is in!
All he needs is bail money.

- Great. But also, Terry,
you still call your guy.

- Gotcha.
- Gina, big news.

Terry's friend got back to us

and he says
they're doing security

for Bayside High's number one
wrestler:

A.C. Slater.

That's right, Mario Lopez.

- Oh, my God.
I had such a big crush on him.

- Yeah, we all had a big crush
on A.C. Slater.

Get in line!

I'll be cooler
when we meet him.

- I should hope so.
- Anyways, he's hanging out

at the Manhattan Club
right now.

We can go there
and try and talk to him.

- Jake, you can't just walk

into the Manhattan Club.
It's very exclusive.

- Like, how exclusive are we
talking here, Gines? No jeans?

- More.
- No poor people of any kind

no matter how well
they hide it?

- More.
- Just a tiny slice

of the super rich?
- More.

- Is it all Illuminati?

Is it just a whole room
full of lizards?

- Bingo.
- Well, then I guess

we'll have to transform
ourselves.

Into the uber wealthy.

Charles!
Turn that music off.

- Oh, sorry. I was just
practicing

in case you guys
change your mind.

- Okay, we're about to walk
into the land of money.

Remember, all rich people are
monsters, so unleash the beast.

- Got it.

Open it!

- Good afternoon.
May I help you?

- We're here all the time.

Get familiar with these faces,

or get familiar
with the unemployment line.

- I'm so sorry, but I have to
check you in.

I need a member number.

- I don't have my member number
with me.

It's too bad you can't just use
my AmEx black card.

- Oh, that's great.
We can use that.

- You can? Well.

You think I carry around
my own wallet?

- I'm sorry, sir. If you could
just give me a name,

that would be great.

- I'll give you a name:

Pamplemouse La Croix.

- I'm so sorry, Ms. La Croix,

you're not in the system.

- This is ridiculous.

You know what?

Call Daddy.
Daddy'll get us in.

- Daddy, the man won't let us
into the club.

- Oh, ho, ho.
- Yes, Daddy. No, Daddy, no.

Daddy wants to speak with you.
- Gladly.

Hello, Daddy? Yes, Daddy.
NO, Daddy.

Daddy!

Oh, well, good question, Daddy.

Daddy wants to get
this young man fired.

What is
your first and last name?

Uh..

You know what, forget about it.
You can just go on up.

- Fantastic.
Everything's well, Daddy.

We're heading in, Daddy.

Gina, the bathrooms here are
amazing.

I just peed on gold.
I peed on gold!

- That's so dope,
but we don't have time.

Mario Lopez is right there
in the VIP.

- So, how do we get him
to come to your party?

Say we're his biggest fans?
- No, Jake.

Celebrities despise their fans.

You get into entertainment
to be removed

from general society.
- Oh, okay.

So what do we say?
- Well, whilst stars

hate people,
they love animals.

'Cause animals have bad bodies
so they're no competition.

- Okay, so we say the party
is for monkeys.

- Monkeys with malaria.
- Malnourished malaria monkeys.

- God, it's ridiculous how good
we are at this.

Let's go in.
- Wait, I don't think

there's any way we're getting
past those security guards.

We need a distraction.
Ooh, how about this.

I'll sprint past them,

and whilst
they're chasing after me,

you sneak into the VIP.

- Wow, we said "whilst" twice
in this conversation.

- I know, this place is really
rubbing off on us.

Heads up! Catch me if you--
did! You immediately did!

Stop it! I'm telling Daddy!
Daddy!

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Hey.
- Hey, homey. You okay?

- Yeah, I'm totally fine.

It really wasn't that bad
of a beating.

I don't know
why I'm lying.

You were there.
You held me as I wept.

Anyways,
sorry that Gina-rama has been

a little basic so far,

but all of that
is about to change.

Because guess who just
pulled up outside?

- He came?
Together: A.C. Sla-t-er!

- Yes, dude!

- I'm sorry!

- Everyone, be cool!
He's here!

- Hey, is this
the hungry monkey thing?

- It sure is, A.C. Slater!
I'm so sorry, Mr. Lopez.

I know you're not actually
the very iconic character

that you played.
- You sure about that, preppy?

- This is the best
moment of my life.

- So what's up? Can I, uh,
come in and get a drink?

- Mm, actually, I'm sorry,
the venue's at capacity.

There's just too many people
inside.

- What?
- Wait, I was told

that this event depended on me.

You just begged me, like,
an hour ago.

- And now I'm begging you
to stop embarrassing yourself

'cause it's not a good shade
on you.

- Are you really not gonna
let me in?

- There's nothing I can do,
I'm sor--hey, Scully.

- Hi, Gina. I brought
my own pigs in a blanket!

- Dope.
- Who's that guy?

- Scully.
- Mario, you gotta calm down.

And you gotta walk away.
It's over.

Hey, Gina!

What are you doing?
We had A.C. Slater right there

and you turned him away?
- And that, Jake,

was your Gina Moment.

- What? But that sucked.
Why was mine a bad one?

- Because Jake, I wanted you
to understand

I don't need a celebrity
or some crazy venue

or a huge good-bye party.

This is what I wanted.

Just to hang with my friends
and have a few drinks

and laugh at Charles
with his devil sticks

until he makes eye contact--

you're killing it, bud.

You guys are
all the splash that I need.

- Oh, man.

Gina.
- Mm-hmm.

- You big cheese ball.
- I know.

Plus, it's so cool that I got
to turn a celebrity

away from my party. That was
kinda my Gina Moment for me.

I've always wanted to do that.

- Right. Right.
- Hey, um...

It's raining outside.
Is it cool if I just wait here

until my car comes?
- Get out of here, Slater!

Get out! Yeah?

- Yeah!

- I can't believe Gina's gone.

- Me neither.

Hey, did you get
a Gina Moment?

She said she was giving one
to everyone,

but I didn't get mine.
- 'Sup, losers.

- Oh! What are you doing here,
Gina?

- Are you back? Did my begging
change your mind?

- Nah, dog. I'm just tying up
some loose ends.

- Gina, why are you still here?
- Jeez. What's the big deal?

- It's just you made us all
toasts at Gina-rama

and say tearful goodbyes,
but now you're still here.

- I'm not back. I'm just
cleaning out my desk

And I have some stuff
I wanted to give to you guys.

Charles, weirdly,
you're kind of the person

I'm the closest to here.
Don't say why.

- Because I was your brother
and your lover?

Sorry, I can't control
my tongue around you.

- All right, well, here.

- The Boyle family mother
dough starter!

I'll think of you
every time I handle her.

- Oh, man. You know, I never
really understood

the logic behind
the two of us.

But I love you
and I'm gonna miss you.

- I'm gonna miss you too, Gina.
- You're getting cold feet.

I mean, why haven't you cleaned
out your desk

over your last two weeks?
- Because, Terry, I was busy

giving each and every one of
you a beautiful GM.

- Well, not all of us.
- Oh, Terry, that reminds me.

Rosa, do you want this plant?

- Yeah. I mess with orchids.
- Great.

Well, that about wraps up
everything I meant to do.

- Come on.

- I wonder if Holt's gonna hire
a new assistant.

- Well, he can't hire someone
permanent right away.

He needs a rebound assistant
first.

- It's gonna be so weird
seeing someone at Gina's--

Oh. She's still here.

- Gina, what's going on?
- Cold feet.

She's never going to leave.
- No, I wanted to make sure

Holt was familiar
with my filing system.

I didn't want to
leave him in the dark.

- There are no dividers.

It's just a big pile
of loose papers.

- Okay, yeah, you get it.

I'll stick around
the rest of the day

in case you have
any questions.

- Never gonna leave!

- She's definitely
still gonna be here.

- No way. She's gone.
Hah! Look!

Her desk, I told you,
it's empty.

- She's right over there
burning stuff.

- I'm just sage-ing. Trying to
clear this place of my energy.

- Why?
- Cold feet.

- No. No one's paying me
for my vibes anymore.

I'm not trying to give 'em away
for free.

- Oh, my God.
I know what's going on.

Gina, you're having second
thoughts.

You have cold feet.
I figured it out!

- Jake for the win.
There you go.

- Come on, man!
- I never have second thoughts.

That's the luxury of having
great first thoughts.

- Gina, it's okay.
You're scared.

- Tare-bear, I love you,
but don't try

and hop on my thing, okay?
- But for real.

I'm not scared.

- Hey, guys. You were right.

I'm scared as hell.
Anyway.

I'm here all day.
- Huh.

All right. I think we need to
all get on the same page

for what do to
about this Gina situation.

- Well, we should tell her
we believe in her.

- Good point, Charles.
- And we all know

she'll succeed
at whatever she tries.

- I feel like this is
all my fault.

She's staying for me.
She just can't let go.

- Hitchcock, you don't have to
contribute.

All right, guys, let's get in
there

and support the hell
out of Gina.

What is that?

- It's a statue of her.

- Texting on her phone.

- Guys, look, there's a note.

- Hello, Nine-Nine.

I just wanted to thank
you guys.

I was so nervous to move on

and I even started
to doubt myself,

which is crazy.

And your kind words really
helped me,

especially yours, Terry.
- Aww.

- Psych!

Did he fall f--
Terry, did you fall for it?

Anyway, Terry,
that's your Gina Moment.

- Seriously? I've known her
for seven years.

- JK again. I'm really gonna
miss you, Sarge.

I signed you up
for an international

yogurt of the month club.

Austria is in the fridge
right now.

- Terry's never had
Austrian yogurt before.

Terry had the best moment
of all.

- Anyway, I didn't doubt
myself for one second.

And I'm more confident
than I've ever been.

I was only stalling because
there was a shipping delay

with my golden statue.
- Ah, that makes sense.

- And even though she looks
like she has wet hair

and just combed through
a deep conditioning treatment,

and even though her jeans
look cheap

and even though she has
sausage fingers,

I hope it reminds you of me,
and I'm gonna miss you.

I'll hold now for a five
minute applause break.

Do it! Please.

- Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.

- This feels right.

- I love you guys.

- Fremulon.

- Not a doctor.
Shh.