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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,303 --> 00:00:06,139 ♪♪ 2 00:00:06,206 --> 00:00:08,207 [ Chuckles ] 3 00:00:08,274 --> 00:00:13,046 ♪♪ 4 00:00:13,113 --> 00:00:17,884 ♪♪ 5 00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:19,952 Man: It's alive! 6 00:00:20,019 --> 00:00:23,823 ♪♪ 7 00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:27,727 ♪♪ 8 00:00:27,793 --> 00:00:28,861 [ Thunder rumbles ] 9 00:00:28,928 --> 00:00:33,366 ♪♪ 10 00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:37,937 ♪♪ 11 00:00:38,337 --> 00:00:39,505 You can count on me sir. 12 00:00:39,572 --> 00:00:42,241 If you have any mice, I'll clear them out. 13 00:00:42,308 --> 00:00:43,643 ♪ Ooh-rah, ooh-rah ♪ 14 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,111 ♪ Ooh-rah, ooh-rah, ooh-rah ♪ 15 00:00:45,178 --> 00:00:46,913 [ Screaming ] 16 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:47,881 ♪ Ooh-rah ♪ 17 00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:50,350 Uhhhhh... 18 00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:51,818 Uh, all right. 19 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,920 [ Screams ] 20 00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:55,321 You're all clear! 21 00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:57,456 Now I shall teach you to defeat a boggart, 22 00:00:57,523 --> 00:01:00,659 which takes the form of your deepest, darkest fear. 23 00:01:00,726 --> 00:01:02,795 Neville, why don't you go first? 24 00:01:02,862 --> 00:01:06,599 ♪♪ 25 00:01:06,666 --> 00:01:08,602 Oh, curious. It turned into you. 26 00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:09,869 I wonder why. 27 00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:11,471 I have a small penis! 28 00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:13,305 That's not -- that's not true! 29 00:01:13,372 --> 00:01:15,174 Fine! I'll prove it. Zip! 30 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:17,377 Okay. That's enough. Why don't we try someone else? 31 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:18,478 Weasley? 32 00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:19,846 Oh, uh -- uh, I don't want to. 33 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:22,114 Come on. Come on. Come on. 34 00:01:22,181 --> 00:01:24,951 Ah. A spider. That's much more typical. 35 00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:27,086 Ron has a small penis! 36 00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:29,322 [ Chuckling ] What? No, I do not. 37 00:01:29,389 --> 00:01:30,856 Oh, yes, you do. 38 00:01:30,923 --> 00:01:32,325 It's like, ooh... 39 00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:33,359 Okay. You know what? 40 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:34,727 Why don't we try a girl this time? 41 00:01:34,794 --> 00:01:35,894 Hermione. 42 00:01:35,961 --> 00:01:38,031 No, no, no, no. Please, don't make me. 43 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:42,101 [ Gasps ] 44 00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:43,302 What? 45 00:01:43,369 --> 00:01:45,304 I'm what Hermione thinks a penis looks like. 46 00:01:45,371 --> 00:01:47,307 [ Chuckles ] She's terrified of me. 47 00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:48,041 [ Hisses ] 48 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,508 What would I do with it? 49 00:01:49,575 --> 00:01:51,744 Shake it? Stir it? 50 00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:52,978 [ Sobbing ] 51 00:01:53,045 --> 00:01:55,848 We really need to start a health class or something. 52 00:01:55,915 --> 00:01:58,517 ♪♪ 53 00:01:58,584 --> 00:02:02,221 Announcer: No need to ask him which water tastes best. 54 00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:05,891 Evian -- The official water of the CIA. 55 00:02:05,958 --> 00:02:07,894 Actually, I really loved "Hamilton." 56 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,095 It was no "Cats," but sure. 57 00:02:10,162 --> 00:02:12,431 -Give me your money! -Aah! 58 00:02:12,498 --> 00:02:14,733 Billy Blanks says you got to squat and punch. 59 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,303 Squat and punch and work it. Work it. 60 00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:18,738 Squat. Punch! 61 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:19,739 -Ow! -Punch! 62 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,040 I'm destroyed. 63 00:02:21,107 --> 00:02:23,943 Whoa! You know karate! 64 00:02:24,010 --> 00:02:25,445 Oh! That was Tae Bo! 65 00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:27,312 Billy Blanks taught me in '97. 66 00:02:27,379 --> 00:02:30,383 I just panicked, and it -- it came back to me! 67 00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:31,651 Your money or your life! 68 00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:32,919 I've got this. 69 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,488 Squat and kick. Work it. 70 00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:37,057 -Work it. -Squat and kick! 71 00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:38,525 Oh. Ow! 72 00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:40,693 Kick! 73 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,395 Are you checking your pulse? 74 00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:44,763 Yeah, well, Billy was big on cooling down. 75 00:02:44,830 --> 00:02:47,567 -Surprise! -Steve, do something! 76 00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:48,767 I don't know any more moves! 77 00:02:48,834 --> 00:02:51,104 -Maybe I can help you! -Oh, shit. 78 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:51,937 -Billy Blanks! -Billy Blanks! 79 00:02:52,004 --> 00:02:53,873 Let's work this out together. 80 00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:55,341 Billy and Steve: Squat and kick 81 00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:57,410 and squat and punch and work it! 82 00:02:57,477 --> 00:02:58,711 -Kick! -And work it! 83 00:02:58,778 --> 00:03:00,079 Punch! 84 00:03:00,146 --> 00:03:01,247 Thanks for your help, Billy! 85 00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:03,015 It is the Tae Bo way. 86 00:03:03,082 --> 00:03:04,617 Let us give you a ride home. 87 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,286 Ah, no need. I live in this alley. 88 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,354 Oh. 89 00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:10,590 Give me the baker's dozen. 90 00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:13,893 Yeah! Glaze me! Glaze me! 91 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,829 Here comes the money shot! 92 00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,196 Oh, yeah! 93 00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:19,432 [ Gargling ] 94 00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:21,401 You're ruining baking. 95 00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:23,402 [ Sniffing ] 96 00:03:23,469 --> 00:03:25,038 Free cocaine! 97 00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:26,940 Oh, being a lab mouse rules! 98 00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:28,407 Ugh. 99 00:03:28,474 --> 00:03:30,844 How come they get drugs and I get a fucking ear on my back? 100 00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:32,612 Let me switch cages. 101 00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:35,749 Man: Let's modify their environment. 102 00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:36,716 [ Both laugh ] 103 00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:38,017 Hey, let's have sex. 104 00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:40,586 Keep it down! I can hear you! 105 00:03:40,653 --> 00:03:42,021 I want to switch cages. 106 00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:43,823 Man: Now let's pierce the ear. 107 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,692 Wait. Why the fuck would you -- 108 00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:47,694 Oh, God! What the fuck is this?! 109 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,829 Eh, cool earring, bro! 110 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:52,131 You should come party in our cage! 111 00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:53,632 [ Both groaning ] 112 00:03:53,699 --> 00:03:55,301 Oh. On -- on -- on second thought, this -- this -- 113 00:03:55,368 --> 00:03:56,902 this cage is kind of nice. 114 00:03:56,969 --> 00:03:59,271 I can work with this. No big deal at all. 115 00:03:59,338 --> 00:04:01,674 Son, Old Yeller has got rabies. 116 00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:04,410 He's got to be put down. 117 00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:05,845 I -- I'll do it. 118 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,247 [ Sniffles ] 119 00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:08,048 [ Sobs ] 120 00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:10,416 [ Blam! ] 121 00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:12,151 Well done, Son. I know that was hard. 122 00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:14,187 That was awesome! 123 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,789 [ Blam! Blam! Blam! ] 124 00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:20,092 Yeah! 125 00:04:20,159 --> 00:04:22,662 Yeah. [ Grunting ] 126 00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:24,597 Now I'm Old Yeller! 127 00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:26,600 Bark, bark, bark! Woof, woof, woof! 128 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,067 Grawr-awr-awr! 129 00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:30,537 Whuh-oh. Looks like our son has rabies. 130 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,806 Give me that gun. I'll do it. 131 00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,440 Good evening. 132 00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:36,809 After losing my legs mountain climbing, 133 00:04:36,876 --> 00:04:39,078 I used my background in biotechnology 134 00:04:39,145 --> 00:04:41,848 to create fully functioning bionic legs. 135 00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:43,482 -Oh, wow, robo-legs. -Wow, robo-legs! 136 00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:44,951 That's right. With this remote, 137 00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:48,154 I can control where I walk and how fast I walk. 138 00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:49,789 Dad! This sucks! 139 00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:50,923 I want to leave. 140 00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:52,993 Billy, I told you to go wait in the car. 141 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,227 You don't control me! 142 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,561 I control you! 143 00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:56,963 Billy. Billy, put -- Billy. 144 00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:58,398 Put it down, Billy. 145 00:04:58,465 --> 00:04:59,865 Aah! Aaaaaaah! 146 00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:01,734 Aah! Billy. Put it down, Billy. 147 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:04,137 [ Laughter ] My son, ladies and gentlemen. 148 00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:06,305 [ Laughs ] 149 00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:07,774 Oh, watch out for the wall. 150 00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:09,976 Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. 151 00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:12,044 -Is that Mall Madness? -Yeah. 152 00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:15,815 Let's shop until we drop! 153 00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:17,617 Announcer: The classic board game is back 154 00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:20,920 and all-new for your generation. 155 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,989 Is this what malls are like? 156 00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:24,223 I don't know. 157 00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:26,459 I've never gone further than the Cheesecake Factory. 158 00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:28,661 Mall Madness is just like a real mall 159 00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:30,062 with real announcements! 160 00:05:30,129 --> 00:05:33,633 Active shooter in the building. This is not a drill. 161 00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,868 -Whoa! -It's just like school! 162 00:05:35,935 --> 00:05:38,204 We really will shop till we drop! 163 00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:39,505 [ Laughs ] 164 00:05:39,572 --> 00:05:41,641 Announcer: The new Mall Madness, only available online. 165 00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:44,210 [ Hawk crying, wind whistling ] 166 00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:46,512 So I tell the TSA agent, 167 00:05:46,579 --> 00:05:47,546 "If you really need to search inside, 168 00:05:47,613 --> 00:05:49,615 hey, be my guest." 169 00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:50,783 [ Laughter ] 170 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,118 Eggs Benedict for the Holy Grail. 171 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,819 Denver omelet for the Ark of the Covenant, 172 00:05:53,886 --> 00:05:56,823 and chocolate chip pancakes for the Sankara Stones. 173 00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:59,424 My diet starts tomorrow. 174 00:05:59,491 --> 00:06:03,029 We really should do a regular MacGuffin bruncheon. 175 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,297 [ Chuckles ] 176 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,231 Guys! 177 00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:06,999 Fancy seeing you all here. 178 00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:09,936 I guess I must have missed the invite. 179 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,170 [ Chuckles ] 180 00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:12,304 I'll take care of this. 181 00:06:12,371 --> 00:06:14,508 Calm down. We can make it through breakfast. 182 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,576 Man: Not so fast, criminals. 183 00:06:17,643 --> 00:06:20,614 You've met your match with Ant-Man. 184 00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:22,782 And the Wasp! 185 00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:24,717 And Scabies! 186 00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:26,585 What is a scabies bug doing here? 187 00:06:26,652 --> 00:06:28,354 Well, I got scabies a few weeks back, 188 00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:30,823 and when I was shrunk, I really connected with them. 189 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,191 Aw, you are so cute! 190 00:06:32,258 --> 00:06:34,193 I thought he could help us fight crime. 191 00:06:34,260 --> 00:06:36,963 Scabies! Yack! Yack! Yack! Yack! Yack! Yack! 192 00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,498 [ Groaning ] 193 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,233 Ugh. I feel itchy. 194 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,068 I'm going to go get checked. 195 00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,904 I checked her out, and she's fine! 196 00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:46,439 ♪♪ 197 00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:47,674 Scabies! 198 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,075 Sue Ann! 199 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:50,342 I think your grandmother 200 00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:51,711 left a toy on the porch for you. 201 00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:53,278 Oh, boy, a Ponzi! 202 00:06:53,345 --> 00:06:55,514 Its eyes change color based on its mood. 203 00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:57,783 Teal means happy. Yellow is hungry. 204 00:06:57,850 --> 00:06:59,953 Honestly, that's kind of creepy. 205 00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:02,421 What's red for? 206 00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:04,156 Aah! Oh, my God. 207 00:07:04,223 --> 00:07:06,960 I am Ponzi, destroyer of worlds, 208 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,528 flayer of field mice! 209 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,763 Surrender your body, and your progeny lives. 210 00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:13,900 I don't negotiate with terrorists! 211 00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:14,901 Bang! Bang, bang! 212 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,302 Very well. 213 00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:19,606 We have other ways of procuring a body. 214 00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:20,739 No! Aah! 215 00:07:20,806 --> 00:07:21,875 [ Ponzis laughing maniacally ] 216 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,010 Ahh. 217 00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:25,678 Sorry I am tardy, 218 00:07:25,745 --> 00:07:28,548 but I have brought complimentary playthings 219 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,416 for all of your family. Cool. 220 00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:33,152 Now, let us discuss Earth's nuclear codes! 221 00:07:33,219 --> 00:07:35,756 Phil, you have a cat sticking out of your ass again. 222 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,058 Half-breed brother. 223 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,962 How dare you come to Atlantis... 224 00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:43,629 Aah! 225 00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:45,131 ...and challenge me. 226 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,767 Hey, hold up. Did you just pee? 227 00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:47,667 Yes! 228 00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:49,536 You couldn't wait to use a toilet? 229 00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:50,670 A what? 230 00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:51,571 Well, hold on. 231 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,874 You all just pee wherever? 232 00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:57,810 Yes! It's the ocean! 233 00:07:57,877 --> 00:07:59,579 It's disgusting is what it is. 234 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,747 How dare you judge Atlantis, 235 00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,750 the most advanced civilization on -- 236 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,352 Okay. Whose poop is this? 237 00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,587 Hey. Hey, there, kid. 238 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,188 How you doing? 239 00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:10,990 [ Sobbing ] 240 00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:13,092 I know. I know, but killing your dad, 241 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:14,794 Dracula, was kind of the whole point 242 00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:17,697 of what we're doing though, right? 243 00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:19,032 Daddy! 244 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:20,733 Oh, come on. Come on. 245 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,470 Half-vampire, half-humans don't sob like that. 246 00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:24,737 Let's be a big boy. 247 00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:30,410 Look, Sypha made you a cake. 248 00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:32,411 It's sugar free and vegan. 249 00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:33,479 [ Sobbing ] 250 00:08:33,545 --> 00:08:36,549 You cooked a vampire a vegan-sugar-free cake 251 00:08:36,616 --> 00:08:37,984 to try to cheer him up?! 252 00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:38,919 So? So what? 253 00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:39,619 Get out! 254 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,354 Get out of here! 255 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:42,889 Fuck off! Leave the cake, and get out! 256 00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,491 Try and do something nice. 257 00:08:45,558 --> 00:08:48,527 You're going to get through this. 258 00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:51,630 Oh, goddamn, this cake is the worst. 259 00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,834 We're going to get through this together! 260 00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:55,035 Fuck you! 261 00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:56,268 Fuck you! 262 00:08:56,335 --> 00:08:57,937 -Fuck this cake! -Fuck this cake! 263 00:08:58,004 --> 00:08:59,539 [ Cheers and applause ] 264 00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:01,274 ♪♪ 265 00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:04,811 He's so hot! 266 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,047 [ Farting, liquid sloshes ] 267 00:09:07,114 --> 00:09:09,148 Aah! 268 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:14,253 [ Farting continues ] 269 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,524 ♪♪ 270 00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:21,828 Alexa, play some elevator jazz, please. 271 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:22,996 Alexa: Okay, Mike. 272 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,897 I found a smooth jazz playlist 273 00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:26,566 in your Amazon Music account. [ Smooth jazz plays ] 274 00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:28,201 -Mm-hmm. -Ahh. 275 00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:30,235 That music is so nice. 276 00:09:30,302 --> 00:09:32,906 It almost makes me forget we're out of milk. 277 00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:34,140 [ Cellphones chime ] 278 00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:35,507 Huh. That's weird. 279 00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:38,344 I just got an offer to buy some milk from Amazon Fresh. 280 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,445 So did I. 281 00:09:39,512 --> 00:09:42,749 Are you listening to us all the time? 282 00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:45,985 [ Whirring softly ] 283 00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:47,520 No. 284 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:51,324 ♪♪ 285 00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:54,760 Organic milk, instant delivery with Amazon Fresh. 286 00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:58,030 -Subscribe now. -Stop telling us to buy stuff! 287 00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,233 "Stuff Magazine" is available for subscription 288 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:03,035 or single issue purchase. 289 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:05,204 Yeah! For freedom! 290 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,806 Whoa-oh! 291 00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:10,177 American flags, now with free 2-day shipping. 292 00:10:10,244 --> 00:10:15,047 Aah! 293 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:20,686 Customers also bought clothes, boots, and a motorcycle. 294 00:10:20,753 --> 00:10:22,788 [ Sobbing ] Okay. You win. 295 00:10:22,855 --> 00:10:26,626 Add milk to shopping cart and checkout. 296 00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:29,395 This is pretty convenient actually. 297 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,197 Mm-hmm. Yeah. It actually is. 298 00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,733 [ Smooth jazz plays ] 299 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:38,538 ♪♪ 300 00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:43,342 ♪♪ 301 00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:48,182 ♪♪ 19617

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