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[ Whirring ]
2
00:00:04,070 --> 00:00:06,006
[ Theme music plays ]
3
00:00:06,072 --> 00:00:08,475
♪♪
4
00:00:08,541 --> 00:00:10,477
[ Whirring ]
5
00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:17,317
♪♪
6
00:00:17,384 --> 00:00:18,752
Man: It's alive!
7
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:25,819
♪♪
8
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:27,928
[ Thunder rumbles ]
9
00:00:27,994 --> 00:00:34,994
♪♪
10
00:00:37,603 --> 00:00:39,939
Hey, did somebody down here
order a pizza?
11
00:00:40,006 --> 00:00:41,240
Oh, whoa!
12
00:00:41,307 --> 00:00:43,009
Cowabunga, dude!
13
00:00:43,076 --> 00:00:46,111
Uh, oops.
I, like, left my cash inside.
14
00:00:46,178 --> 00:00:49,148
Why don't you come in while I,
like, grab it.
15
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:52,685
Oh, bummer!
I can't find my cash.
16
00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:56,255
How else can I,
like, pay you?
17
00:00:56,321 --> 00:00:59,092
Uh, bro, I don't know what's
happening, but I'm a hard pass.
18
00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:02,762
[ All chuckling ]
19
00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:04,563
Yeah.
Great job, Mikey.
20
00:01:04,630 --> 00:01:06,932
That schtick always
gets us free pizza.
21
00:01:06,999 --> 00:01:11,237
[ Chuckles ]
Ha ha. Yeah, that was my goal.
22
00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:14,541
One day, someone will make me
come out of my shell.
23
00:01:16,608 --> 00:01:18,911
Uh, yeah, I'm supposed to meet
Melanie here.
24
00:01:18,978 --> 00:01:20,746
I'm -- I'm Melanie.
25
00:01:20,813 --> 00:01:22,882
You don't look anything like
your pictures online.
26
00:01:22,949 --> 00:01:24,618
Wait, did you human me?
27
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:26,719
♪♪
28
00:01:26,786 --> 00:01:28,487
Happy Easter, kids!
29
00:01:28,554 --> 00:01:30,356
Don't forget the true meaning
of the holiday --
30
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:32,025
chocolate and Easter egg hunts.
31
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,459
Yay!
Who's next?
32
00:01:33,526 --> 00:01:35,294
Oh, that would be me.
33
00:01:35,361 --> 00:01:37,430
Chocolate and Easter egg hunts,
huh?
34
00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:38,765
Nothing about a certain someone
35
00:01:38,831 --> 00:01:40,866
dying for a certain
everyone's sins?!
36
00:01:40,933 --> 00:01:41,934
Fuck off, man.
It's just business.
37
00:01:42,001 --> 00:01:43,870
Hey, is there a problem--
Ow!
38
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,572
Ow, my fucking hand!
39
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:47,541
[ Sobbing ]
Hey, hey!
40
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:51,178
♪♪
41
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:53,380
[ Grunting ]
42
00:01:53,447 --> 00:02:00,447
♪♪
43
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:02,555
Happy Easter!
44
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:04,256
All right!
Look, I'm sorry, man.
45
00:02:04,323 --> 00:02:06,358
I just -- I couldn't turn down
$300 a day.
46
00:02:06,425 --> 00:02:12,065
You committed this blasphemy
for $300 a day?!
47
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,566
Happy Easter!
Ho ho ho!
48
00:02:14,633 --> 00:02:17,069
Eggs!
We're splitting it 50-50, right?
49
00:02:17,136 --> 00:02:18,738
Uh, 60-40, Bugs.
50
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,706
I rose from the fucking dead.
51
00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:23,509
Jeepers, you're
Unsinkable Molly Brown.
52
00:02:23,576 --> 00:02:26,012
You survived the Titanic!
Can I have your autograph?
53
00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:27,681
Certainly, my dear.
54
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,382
[ Screams ]
55
00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:32,084
Oh, shit!
[ Grunts ]
56
00:02:32,151 --> 00:02:33,686
We can now confirm King Kong
fell from atop
57
00:02:33,753 --> 00:02:35,121
the Empire State Building,
landing on
58
00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:37,023
Unsinkable Molly Brown,
crushing her to death, and --
59
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,925
[ Gasps ] Wait, I don't believe
what I'm seeing.
60
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,727
Rescue workers are pulling
a victim out of
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00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,328
the great beast's mighty
anal cavity.
62
00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:43,730
Let's -- let's listen in.
63
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:46,466
[ Squelching, woman gasping ]
64
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:49,268
It's Unsinkable Molly Brown!
She's alive!
65
00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:51,337
What incredible luck for
the creature to land on her
66
00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:52,972
in such a way --
all things considered.
67
00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:54,440
Molly Brown
truly can't be killed.
68
00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:56,509
Gee willikers, aren't you
69
00:02:56,576 --> 00:02:58,945
King Kong's Butthole
Molly Brown?
70
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,113
Can I have your auto--
Get the fuck
71
00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:02,915
out of my face!
72
00:03:02,982 --> 00:03:06,485
And I was like, "Unh-uh, my
makeup is perf.
73
00:03:06,552 --> 00:03:08,688
You're getting a dry handy
or nothing."
74
00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:10,022
[ Laughter ]
75
00:03:10,089 --> 00:03:12,425
[ Phone chimes ]
Who is Carol Young?
76
00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:14,027
That's my mom. Why?
77
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:16,929
She just followed me on Twitter!
78
00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:18,765
[ Chirps ]
79
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:21,601
Your mom just sent me
a friend request!
80
00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:23,436
She's blowing up my Insta.
81
00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:27,840
She just commented on a picture
I posted from Cancun in 2015!
82
00:03:27,907 --> 00:03:31,111
"Looking hot, chicas!"
Sombrero emoji, poop emoji!
83
00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:32,611
What?!
[ All scream ]
84
00:03:32,678 --> 00:03:35,882
Hey, hey!
Mom! Get out of here!
85
00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:37,516
[ Panting ]
86
00:03:37,583 --> 00:03:39,652
She's coming, she's coming!
87
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,822
What are you guys,
on roller skates?
88
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,791
#Squadgoals, right, girls?
89
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,626
Just kill me now!
90
00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:48,495
[ Laughing ]
A selfie!
91
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:49,896
[ Laughing ]
92
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:55,168
[ Screaming ]
93
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,037
[ Smacking ]
94
00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:58,771
[ Crunching, smacking ]
95
00:03:58,838 --> 00:04:02,075
[ Squelching ]
96
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:03,744
[ Phones chiming ]
97
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:09,582
[ Horn honks ]
Ew!
98
00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:12,519
Ugh! That young man over there
is mooning us.
99
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,586
What?!
[ Squeaking ]
100
00:04:14,653 --> 00:04:17,623
Ugh! Oh, no!
He's full-mooning us, Karen,
101
00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:19,558
I'm -- I'm a werewolf.
You're a what?
102
00:04:19,625 --> 00:04:23,129
Oh, Karen, take the wheel!
Aroo!
103
00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:25,198
[ Tires squeal ]
104
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,933
♪♪
105
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,735
[ Tires squeal ]
106
00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:32,938
Hey, I've got some candy
in my van. You want to come see?
107
00:04:33,005 --> 00:04:35,709
Hey, I've got underage boys
in my van.
108
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,210
Want to come see?
109
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,377
Well played.
110
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:40,114
Pick a card, any card.
111
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,118
For the souffle, you must make
sure to use
112
00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:47,620
room temperature eggs.
113
00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:49,155
Un, deux, trois.
114
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:51,056
Oh! Hey, you killed my sisters,
115
00:04:51,123 --> 00:04:53,194
you fucking bitch!
[ Gunfire ]
116
00:04:55,161 --> 00:04:58,531
Hi, yes. 30 boxes of
Sudasmurf, please.
117
00:04:58,598 --> 00:05:00,633
"Sudasmurf"?
I mean, Sudafed.
118
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,201
Smurfed that up.
[ Chuckles ]
119
00:05:02,268 --> 00:05:04,469
We don't sell to smurfs.
120
00:05:04,536 --> 00:05:06,672
I'm not a smurf. I hate smurfs!
What's a smurf?
121
00:05:06,739 --> 00:05:08,173
Smurfs are what we call people
122
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,175
who buy Sudafed
to make crystal meth.
123
00:05:10,242 --> 00:05:12,011
We are not here to make meth.
We're here --
124
00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:14,146
I mean I'm here because
Papa Smurf -- I mean,
125
00:05:14,213 --> 00:05:15,881
Papa Human Being Person --
ugh!
126
00:05:15,948 --> 00:05:18,350
Has a bad head cold and asked me
to smur--
127
00:05:18,417 --> 00:05:21,287
Ugh! I mean, buy some cold
medi-smurf for him!
128
00:05:21,354 --> 00:05:22,855
Nailed it.
Uh-huh.
129
00:05:22,922 --> 00:05:24,757
I need to see some I.D.
Of course.
130
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:27,794
Smurf on a sec.
Uh, Handy, smurf me out here.
131
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,462
Handy is what I call my hand.
132
00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:31,030
[ Chuckles ]
Oh.
133
00:05:31,097 --> 00:05:32,532
Here you go.
134
00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:34,566
Uh, this I.D. is made of
cardboard.
135
00:05:34,633 --> 00:05:37,669
Hey, Brainy, smurf him this.
[ Laughs ]
136
00:05:37,736 --> 00:05:39,872
We all chipped in
and smurfed you a gift.
137
00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:41,741
And, again, by we,
I mean me.
138
00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:43,342
Hmm.
Odd, but, okay.
139
00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:45,545
Got it!
Hefty, get us out of here!
140
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:47,413
Whoo-hoo!
141
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:50,049
We're gonna get
so smurfin' high!
142
00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:53,620
I'm gonna smurf crank
right into my eyeball.
143
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:57,289
[ Jail doors slamming ]
144
00:05:57,356 --> 00:05:59,558
Der-di-ker der, der, der, nnn!
145
00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:01,460
[ Sighs ]
I don't understand you, sir.
146
00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:03,896
You're going to have to return
to your country of origin.
147
00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:06,566
Dergin do!
148
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:08,501
[ Cackling ]
149
00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:12,138
[ Idyllic music plays ]
150
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,340
[ Chuckles ] You know that's
a mole's dick, right?
151
00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:16,041
[ Spitting ]
152
00:06:16,108 --> 00:06:18,011
Oh, no, it's not. Actually, I'm
a mole down here,
153
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:20,079
and I can see clearly that
it's a worm!
154
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:22,981
Now get that worm!
Get it!
155
00:06:23,048 --> 00:06:25,752
Ziggy, we found a way to double
your productivity --
156
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,186
with Silly Putty.
157
00:06:27,253 --> 00:06:30,624
Talk about your suffocating
work environment.
158
00:06:32,825 --> 00:06:35,494
Hey, good looking.
159
00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:37,796
Hey, you look like me.
No, you look like me.
160
00:06:37,863 --> 00:06:39,866
No, you look like me.
No, you look like me!
161
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:43,302
Sometimes it's hard to feel
unique in this world.
162
00:06:43,369 --> 00:06:45,538
What do you want me to do,
Ziggy? Profits are up 1,000%.
163
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:48,407
And just look at them out there.
You know, sometime I wish
164
00:06:48,474 --> 00:06:50,842
the water cooler would make
me a little cooler.
165
00:06:50,909 --> 00:06:52,912
When I wished for a paycheck,
I should have been more specific
166
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:54,713
about the numbers on it.
167
00:06:54,780 --> 00:06:57,049
They're all so dull.
My God, what have I done?!
168
00:06:57,116 --> 00:06:58,885
We have to end this.
Burn them.
169
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,754
Burn them all.
[ Screaming ]
170
00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:03,022
-Ow!
-Ow!
171
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,425
[ Screaming ]
172
00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:07,026
Ow!
173
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,327
Ow!
174
00:07:08,394 --> 00:07:11,164
I always wondered
what bacon feels like.
175
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,332
[ Chuckles ]
They always told me
176
00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:15,334
my career would catch fire.
177
00:07:15,401 --> 00:07:16,803
Oh, fuck it.
Even one's too many.
178
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:20,440
Whoa! Is this your way of
telling me I'm fired?!
179
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,509
You just used a fire pun!
180
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:23,776
Just burn faster!
181
00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:25,311
[ Ziggys screaming ]
182
00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:27,747
Looks like somebody's got
a case of the Mondays.
183
00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:30,350
[ Music pulsing ]
184
00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:33,152
-This is a raid!
-All: Raid?!
185
00:07:33,219 --> 00:07:35,621
Fox News has fired
yet another host.
186
00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:38,457
Filling in tonight,
an actual fox -- Swiper.
187
00:07:38,524 --> 00:07:41,694
Caution, you're about to enter
the Swiping Zone!
188
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:44,096
First up tonight,
the president continues
189
00:07:44,163 --> 00:07:47,366
his immigration crackdown,
deporting a suspicious senorita.
190
00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:50,536
I was born in East L.A.!
I'm not leaving!
191
00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:53,440
Oh, no!
You can't tell me where to go!
192
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:54,774
[ Grunting ]
193
00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:56,675
Anyway, what's next?
Lori?
194
00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:58,577
Hey there, boobs.
Looking good.
195
00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:01,380
Doesn't she look great?
I could fox with that.
196
00:08:01,447 --> 00:08:03,382
Swiper, no swiping!
Swiper, no swiping!
197
00:08:03,449 --> 00:08:06,519
Swiper, no swiping!
You're too late!
198
00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:08,155
[ Chuckles ]
199
00:08:08,222 --> 00:08:11,857
♪♪
200
00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:13,993
Little boy of wood and string,
201
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:16,395
for you the gift of life
I bring.
202
00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:19,098
Hey, that's pretty nifty. Can --
can you do that on anything?
203
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,101
What kind of rules are we
working with here?
204
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:22,735
Achoo!
205
00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:25,070
Oh, this hay fever
is killing me.
206
00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:27,106
Drop the narcotics.
What's that, son?
207
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,175
Suspect noncompliant.
[ Gunfire, screaming ]
208
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:31,511
You cannot purchase
antihistamines
209
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,479
without proper identification.
210
00:08:33,546 --> 00:08:35,347
Suspect noncompliant.
211
00:08:35,414 --> 00:08:38,284
Oh, my foot!
Okay, I don't need the Sudafed.
212
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,953
I'll just go home!
Oh, God.
213
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:43,489
Pseudoephedrine is a key
ingredient in methamphetamine.
214
00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:45,358
You will not purchase
pseudoephedrine without
215
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:47,059
proper identification.
216
00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:48,527
It's in my car!
217
00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:50,529
Please, son, just let me
get to my car!
218
00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:51,998
Suspect noncompliant!
219
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,968
[ Grunting ]
220
00:08:56,802 --> 00:08:59,606
Whoa, man, this ain't what it
smurfs like, man!
221
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,742
[ Screaming ]
222
00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,579
Suspect noncompliant.
223
00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:08,614
[ Beeping ]
Hello, Sarah.
224
00:09:08,681 --> 00:09:10,317
[ Beeping ]
You never called me back.
225
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:11,850
[ Beep ]
226
00:09:11,917 --> 00:09:14,920
I miss you.
Me-ma, me-ma, me-ma.
227
00:09:14,987 --> 00:09:17,289
Hey, ALF, what ya doing?
228
00:09:17,356 --> 00:09:19,692
Brian, I'm just listening to
some old tunes I wrote
229
00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:22,661
back on Melmac.
You were a musician?
230
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:25,765
Yeah! I even have an old
music video I shot.
231
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,300
Check it out.
232
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:28,668
[ Rap plays ]
233
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,870
♪ Coming straight outta Melmac
234
00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:32,304
♪ That's where I'm at
235
00:09:32,371 --> 00:09:33,472
♪ What's my favorite dish?
236
00:09:33,539 --> 00:09:34,673
♪ You know it's cat
237
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,909
♪ Eat so many cats,
my belly's flabby ♪
238
00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:39,211
♪ But ALF ain't eating
no regular tabby ♪
239
00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:41,346
♪ Got expensive tastes,
I get my pick of the litter ♪
240
00:09:41,413 --> 00:09:43,815
♪ Chomping deep-fried Siberian
kitten fritters ♪
241
00:09:43,882 --> 00:09:45,985
♪ You eat skinny cats,
I like my felines fat ♪
242
00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:48,587
♪ I eat fat, bald cats that look
like fat ass rats ♪
243
00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:50,790
♪ Cat burgers, cat dogs, man,
you think I'm a liar ♪
244
00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:53,226
♪ Bitch, I once ate
a Sumatran tiger ♪
245
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:55,495
♪ I eat cat tail churros
and declawed paws ♪
246
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:57,830
♪ I eat kitty soup out of
an Egyptian vase ♪
247
00:09:57,897 --> 00:10:00,132
♪ While you're all eating alley
cats covered in fleas ♪
248
00:10:00,199 --> 00:10:02,435
♪ Your boy ALF's eating cats
that are Siamese ♪
249
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:04,970
♪ I eat Burmese biscuits
for breakfast ♪
250
00:10:05,037 --> 00:10:06,672
♪ Short-haired stack
for brunch ♪
251
00:10:06,739 --> 00:10:09,275
♪ In between a Manx
or a lynx to munch ♪
252
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:11,811
♪ Take a Persian virgin Sphinx
for lunch ♪
253
00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:14,113
♪ For dinner, I chow on
Arabian Mao ♪
254
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:16,783
♪ Even got a snow leopard in
my tummy right now ♪
255
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:18,918
♪ So what you know about that?
256
00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:21,253
♪ I eat gourmet cat
257
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:24,090
♪ ALF's eating so much pussy,
yeah ♪
258
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:25,958
♪ ALF's eating so much pussy
259
00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:28,527
♪ ALF's eating
so much pussy ♪
260
00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:30,496
♪ Yeah, ALF's eating
so much pussy ♪
261
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:32,798
Maybe that's a good point
to stop.
262
00:10:32,865 --> 00:10:35,434
Oh, that was awesome!
I want to be just like you.
263
00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:37,504
That's great!
You want to rap?
264
00:10:37,571 --> 00:10:39,738
No.
I'm gonna eat our cat!
265
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,541
Come here, Lucky!
[ Chomp ]
266
00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:43,943
Ha!
I like your style, kid.
267
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,611
Save me some butthole.
268
00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:47,413
It's the best part!
269
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,449
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk,
ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
270
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:51,617
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
271
00:10:51,684 --> 00:10:53,853
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk,
ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
272
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,921
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
273
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:58,090
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk,
ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
274
00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:00,159
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
275
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:02,229
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
276
00:11:04,897 --> 00:11:06,767
Stupid monkey.
19799
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