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00:00:01,969 --> 00:00:03,703
[ Whirring ]
2
00:00:03,770 --> 00:00:06,105
[ Theme music plays ]
3
00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:08,307
♪♪
4
00:00:08,374 --> 00:00:09,675
[ Whirring ]
5
00:00:09,742 --> 00:00:16,742
♪♪
6
00:00:17,217 --> 00:00:19,118
Man: It's alive!
7
00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:26,185
♪♪
8
00:00:28,261 --> 00:00:35,261
♪♪
9
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:38,938
Say, Merlin?
10
00:00:39,005 --> 00:00:40,206
Yes, my boy?
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00:00:40,272 --> 00:00:42,608
Remember when you turned me
into a boy squirrel
12
00:00:42,675 --> 00:00:44,677
and there was that
annoying girl squirrel
13
00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:46,245
who was bothering me so much?
14
00:00:46,312 --> 00:00:47,647
I believe so, yes.
15
00:00:47,713 --> 00:00:50,383
Remember she was kind of cute
and she really bugged me,
16
00:00:50,449 --> 00:00:51,550
and I didn't like it.
17
00:00:51,617 --> 00:00:52,851
Hmm, what of her?
18
00:00:52,918 --> 00:00:55,421
Do you want me to turn you
back into a squirrel
19
00:00:55,488 --> 00:00:57,023
so you can have sex
with the squirrel?
20
00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:58,191
Is that it, boy?
21
00:00:58,258 --> 00:00:59,192
What?!
22
00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:02,228
No, that's -- that's so crazy.
23
00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:05,465
You're the one who's getting
all squirrelly now.
24
00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:06,932
You old squirrel brain.
25
00:01:06,999 --> 00:01:09,904
You've -- you've been
sniffing too many potions.
26
00:01:13,339 --> 00:01:15,474
Well, I just thought
of something crazy.
27
00:01:15,540 --> 00:01:19,245
Wouldn't it be so crazy
to change her into a human girl
28
00:01:19,311 --> 00:01:21,514
just to see how annoying
she would look, probably?
29
00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:24,851
My boy, I could very easily
change her into a girl, but--
30
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,686
Good idea.
That was your idea.
31
00:01:26,752 --> 00:01:27,920
That's a good idea.
32
00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:30,690
However, just as you
retained your human brain
33
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when you became a squirrel,
34
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she would retain
her squirrel brain.
35
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Oh.
36
00:01:36,829 --> 00:01:38,933
Oh, okay then.
37
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,435
Do it.
38
00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:45,872
Hi, guys!
It's me, Joker!
39
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,708
A lot of people have been asking
for a makeup tutorial,
40
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,476
so I'm gonna give it to ya!
41
00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:53,045
I prefer the L'Oreal
ruby charcoal lip liner
42
00:01:53,112 --> 00:01:54,680
because the Kylie Lip Kit
43
00:01:54,747 --> 00:01:57,651
smears when Batman
punches me in the face.
44
00:01:57,718 --> 00:01:58,984
Ha ha ha!
45
00:01:59,051 --> 00:02:01,988
I'm not a heroin addict,
but I want people to wonder
46
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,456
whether I'm a heroin addict.
47
00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:04,924
You understand.
48
00:02:04,991 --> 00:02:07,493
And don't forget to write
your own personal mantra
49
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,195
across your forehead!
50
00:02:09,262 --> 00:02:11,164
Son of a--
51
00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:14,066
Is this really necessary?
52
00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:15,702
50% off Monistat?
53
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:17,237
Well, you do know
your you audience.
54
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,139
Nobody uses those coupons!
55
00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:21,341
Is this at least recycled?
56
00:02:21,408 --> 00:02:23,209
Um...
57
00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:24,777
Yeah.
58
00:02:24,844 --> 00:02:26,178
[ Sobbing ]
59
00:02:26,245 --> 00:02:29,715
Remember, kids, every time
a CVS receipt starts printing,
60
00:02:29,782 --> 00:02:31,919
a tree ugly-cries.
61
00:02:35,087 --> 00:02:37,589
I don't think we're
doing this right.
62
00:02:37,656 --> 00:02:40,792
My husband asked me why
I don't go down on him anymore.
63
00:02:40,859 --> 00:02:45,231
I told him, because snakes
smell with their tongues.
64
00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:48,468
Right, ladies?
Wash your cloacas, guys!
65
00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:51,004
Wash them!
66
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:53,139
Oh, anyway...
67
00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:56,776
What else is going on.
68
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,578
What it says about
America is profound.
69
00:02:59,645 --> 00:03:00,913
Well, they're certainly sexual
70
00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:02,882
if one chooses
to view them that way.
71
00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:05,785
It's a masterpiece.
72
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,588
In this piece, you seem
to be exposing
73
00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:12,091
the Louisiana Purchase
as unjust.
74
00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:13,192
Am I right?
75
00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:15,328
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
76
00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:17,665
So true, so true.
77
00:03:19,799 --> 00:03:21,202
Meep, meep!
78
00:03:27,807 --> 00:03:29,275
[ Applause ]
79
00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:31,077
He's dead.
80
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:33,880
Is it too late to bid
on that piece?
81
00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:36,415
Is your person a dumb whore
who's having an affair
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00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:37,883
with her best friend's husband,
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00:03:37,950 --> 00:03:41,354
secretly gave him chlamydia, and
gets guilty yeast infections?
84
00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:42,455
Oh, dear!
85
00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:45,958
This game is getting
awfully specific.
86
00:03:46,025 --> 00:03:47,693
I'm not doing a threesome
with you, Screech.
87
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,863
If you want to disappoint
two people, call your parents.
88
00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:53,966
Zack Morris, you might think
you're the only person
89
00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:57,036
with super powers,
but you are part of a larger--
90
00:03:57,103 --> 00:03:58,537
Time-out.
91
00:03:58,604 --> 00:04:01,174
Who is this guy, and what the
heck is he doing in my bedroom?
92
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,275
I guess I'll find out.
93
00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:03,843
Time-in.
universe.
94
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,345
Anything's better than school,
95
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,080
as long as I get
a cool code name.
96
00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:08,414
Like what?
97
00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:10,817
My name's Zack Morris,
and I stop time every day.
98
00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:15,388
So my code name will be
Morris Day and the Time.
99
00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:18,424
Whoa. Even the laugh track
wasn't crazy about that one.
100
00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:21,627
[ Laughter ]
101
00:04:21,694 --> 00:04:24,631
Hey, Morris Day and the Time,
a little help.
102
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:25,598
Time-out.
103
00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:27,166
Man, this is bad.
104
00:04:27,233 --> 00:04:28,601
I should have learned
an actual skill
105
00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:30,236
to supplement
my time-out power.
106
00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:31,937
All I know how to do
is break the fourth wall
107
00:04:32,004 --> 00:04:33,806
to monologue about stuff.
108
00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:35,041
[ Laughter ]
109
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,377
At least, I can move
Hawkeye out of harm's way.
110
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,378
Perfect.
Time-in.
111
00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:42,081
Don't just stand there,
do somethi--
112
00:04:42,148 --> 00:04:43,750
Time-out.
113
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,785
Oh, boy.
114
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:47,187
Time-in.
There you are.
115
00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:48,221
You weren't in class.
116
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,891
What can I say,
the hero returns.
117
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[ Aww ]
118
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♪♪
119
00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:04,870
Ooh, and there's
the Pound Town Library.
120
00:05:04,937 --> 00:05:07,139
And up ahead, that's
Pound Town Post Office.
121
00:05:07,206 --> 00:05:08,641
And as we crest this hill here,
you're gonna see
122
00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:09,842
the University of Pound Town.
123
00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:12,445
Well, this is not
what I thought you meant.
124
00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:14,747
The Cabbage Patch Kids
Feed Me doll
125
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,349
ripped out
my daughter's hair.
126
00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:19,619
My little Suzie broke her finger
in that doll's mouth.
127
00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:20,953
What's your complaint, sir?
128
00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:22,322
Oh, I don't have a complaint,
129
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:24,491
I just came to see
if I could get...
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00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:26,492
more of these dolls.
131
00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:29,161
[ Squelching, crowd gasping ]
132
00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:34,834
You must choose the cup
that is the Holy Grail.
133
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,936
Hmm.
Uh-uh.
134
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,304
Ah, this!
135
00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:40,807
This is the cup of a carpenter.
136
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,876
You have...
137
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:44,678
chosen.
138
00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:48,014
[ Humming ]
139
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,982
[ Chittering ]
Hey, uh, Merlin?
140
00:05:50,049 --> 00:05:52,318
I feel kind of guilty
about this whole thing.
141
00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:54,153
I hope you've learned
your lesson
142
00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:56,690
about turning animals
into women, my boy.
143
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:57,824
Oh, I'm sorry.
144
00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:00,159
I didn't realize
you had company.
145
00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:01,160
Squawk!
Learned your lesson!
146
00:06:01,227 --> 00:06:02,796
Learned your lesson.
147
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,398
My squirrel is pregnant,
BT-Dubs.
148
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:09,135
Gah.
Gerr!
149
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,938
Master Wayne, how was
crime-fighting this evening?
150
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,440
Did you get the Joker?
151
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:16,042
Oh, I got him!
152
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,811
I'll get the soda water.
153
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:23,283
Be careful not to choke
on your aspirations, director.
154
00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:25,217
[ Laughs evilly ]
155
00:06:25,284 --> 00:06:29,121
Oh, Vader, the humor
is strong in you.
156
00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:31,624
Chosen one.
157
00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:33,960
[ Ventilator wheezing ]
158
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:35,695
Give me the plans.
159
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:40,633
Do not force me
to destroy you.
160
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:42,435
Have a nice trip.
161
00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:44,003
See you next fall.
162
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,373
Don't get ahead
of yourself.
163
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,507
Is this a party?
164
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,376
Then let's raise the roof!
165
00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:50,543
Oh!
166
00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:53,146
What is a squirrel's
favorite food.
167
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:53,913
What?!
168
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:55,448
Nuts!
Ow, my nuts!
169
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:57,250
One, two, button my shoe.
170
00:06:57,317 --> 00:07:01,121
Three, four...
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00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,355
hold the door.
172
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,056
Blockade run, eh?
173
00:07:04,123 --> 00:07:05,691
I barely know her.
174
00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:08,427
Lord Vader,
did we get the plans?
175
00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:10,865
Oh, right -- the plans.
176
00:07:13,032 --> 00:07:15,835
Maybe I shouldn't have
dicked around so much.
177
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:17,436
Welcome to Fight Club.
178
00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:20,640
The first rule of Fight Club
is you do not talk about
179
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Fight Club.
180
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,576
Second rule of Fight Club is
181
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:27,314
you do not talk about
Fight Club.
182
00:07:27,381 --> 00:07:30,016
Ugh.
Yes?
183
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,217
Sorry to interrupt.
184
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,451
I don't know if you realize it,
but you said
185
00:07:32,518 --> 00:07:33,853
the same rule twice.
186
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,888
Ugh, yes, I did that on purpose
187
00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:37,523
to make sure the rule
is driven home.
188
00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:38,857
Oh, okay, thanks.
189
00:07:38,924 --> 00:07:40,093
I just wanted to make sure
we didn't accidentally
190
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,394
miss out on a rule.
191
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,662
Nope, you didn't.
192
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,463
Okay.
193
00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:47,766
When we're gathered for our, uh,
let's say a tea party...
194
00:07:47,833 --> 00:07:50,503
Ugh, okay, when you're in
Fight Club,
195
00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:52,305
you can talk about Fight Club.
196
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:53,539
Okay, thanks.
197
00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:54,540
No, that -- that was --
that was my question.
198
00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:56,476
[ Telephone ringing ]
199
00:07:56,543 --> 00:07:58,077
Fight Club?
No!
200
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,246
But you said!
You are in Fight Club,
201
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:04,785
but whoever's on the phone
is not in Fight Club.
202
00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:05,852
Um, uh...
203
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,153
Dah!
204
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:10,356
So rule 8, paragraph 9,
section one,
205
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,657
if you're in Fight Club,
206
00:08:11,724 --> 00:08:14,026
opening the door to let someone
in to Fight Club,
207
00:08:14,093 --> 00:08:16,095
you do not talk about
Fight Club
208
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:18,331
until the door is closed.
We good?
209
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:21,901
Has everybody got this?
210
00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:23,236
[ Shutter clicks ]
No!
211
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:24,437
But I didn't even do anything!
212
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,438
You know what, fuck it.
213
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,940
I don't exist anyway.
214
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:31,811
Boys have a penis
and girls have a vagina.
215
00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:35,014
No, that's not how
it works anymore!
216
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:40,620
In the dark, dark wood,
there is a dark, dark house.
217
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:43,389
And in that dark, dark house,
218
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:46,358
there is
a dark, dark room.
219
00:08:46,425 --> 00:08:49,495
And in that dark, dark room,
220
00:08:49,562 --> 00:08:53,066
your parents
are doing it.
221
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:56,070
[ Moaning, narrator laughing
maniacally ]
222
00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:04,010
And that's how the Titanic
changed my life forever.
223
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:06,145
Wow, Rose, that's
a beautiful story
224
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:09,181
about how Jack died
and the giant diamond was lost.
225
00:09:09,248 --> 00:09:11,084
It's hard to believe
such a fairy tale
226
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,285
of love even happened.
227
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,720
Yes, um...
228
00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:16,356
hard to believe.
229
00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:18,491
[ Horn blowing ]
230
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:22,962
[ Giggling ]
Nobody will look for us in here.
231
00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:24,798
Man: Iceberg -- dead ahead!
232
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,499
Huh?
Oh!
233
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:27,500
Uh-oh!
234
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,834
Was that the Heart
of the Ocean?
235
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:31,838
Holy shit.
Jack, it's worth a fortune!
236
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,174
Oh! Wait, wait, wait.
I think I feel it.
237
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:35,775
Uh-oh, Rose!
238
00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:37,944
My hand is stuck in the toilet!
239
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:39,345
Uh, Jack?
Oh, God.
240
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,714
Oh, God, no, no --
no, no, no, no, no!
241
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:43,083
Oh, God. No.
Help us!
242
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:45,017
I'm drowning in poop water.
243
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:48,455
Rose, my hand is trapped
in the toilet.
244
00:09:48,522 --> 00:09:50,990
But you can survive.
245
00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:53,927
Our love will go on even
if only one of us...
246
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:55,328
Okay, bye.
247
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:56,396
Oh!
248
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,464
Wow.
Whoo.
249
00:09:58,531 --> 00:10:00,334
Oh, maybe everything's okay.
250
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:10,276
This one's for you, Jack.
251
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,145
[ Flatulence, spraying ]
252
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,346
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
253
00:10:14,413 --> 00:10:16,416
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
254
00:10:16,482 --> 00:10:18,651
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
255
00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:20,753
♪ Ba-bawk bawk
bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪
256
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,888
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
257
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:25,258
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
258
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,561
Ba-gawk!
Bawk.
259
00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:32,899
[ Penny whistle tune ]
260
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:38,104
♪♪
261
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:43,310
♪♪
262
00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:45,511
Stupid monkey.
263
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:52,286
♪♪
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