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1
00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:05,973
[thunder crashes]
2
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,809
[laughs evilly]
3
00:00:08,876 --> 00:00:10,978
[ sawing ]
4
00:00:16,083 --> 00:00:18,019
[ electricity crackles ]
5
00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:19,887
It's alive!
6
00:00:27,294 --> 00:00:28,396
[thunder crashes]
7
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:32,400
[laughs evilly]
8
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:34,402
[ smooch! ]
9
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:35,870
[laughs evilly]
10
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:41,642
Prime, we have to get these
people to a hospital now.
11
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,210
Put them in my trailer.
12
00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:53,421
- Prime?
- Wait, it should be here.
13
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,489
MAN: Is that your pager?
What's going on?
14
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,892
Ugh, it's this guy I hook up
with sometimes.
15
00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:59,960
Whenever he calls,
he thinks I have to drop
16
00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:01,996
whatever I'm doing
and run to him.
17
00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:04,398
Well, not this time.
Mm. Oh, yeah.
18
00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:07,134
Yeah, grab my axle.
Yeah, open my cargo door.
19
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:09,904
Yeah. Mm.
20
00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:11,238
Trailer!
21
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:13,207
Why do I even pay
for that pager
22
00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:15,142
if she's not going to use it?
23
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:16,510
Oh, my gosh.
This is so crazy.
24
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,245
This is gonna be -- oh, shh.
Shh. Shh.
25
00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:20,014
- Hey, what are you --
Get off my lawn!
26
00:01:20,081 --> 00:01:21,949
[ laughs ]
Suck it, Apache chief!
27
00:01:22,016 --> 00:01:23,084
[tires screech ]
28
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:24,185
[grunts]
29
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:31,525
Well, guess this is
happening.
30
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:34,195
Inuk chuk!
31
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,096
[grunts]
32
00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:37,765
[ Splat! ]
33
00:01:37,832 --> 00:01:39,733
Ahh...
34
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,802
♪ [suspenseful music plays] ♪
35
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:51,545
We're just not ready to go
into production.
36
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:52,947
We need more tests.
37
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:55,216
Guys, guys, we're not
re-inventing the wheel here.
38
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:58,686
We're not? Well, then,
what the hell did I do this for?
39
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:01,422
Dad, do you ever get that
not-so-fresh feeling?
40
00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:03,290
You mean from the collection
of smegma
41
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,192
around the head
of my uncircumcised penis?
42
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:07,628
- What the hell? No!
- Well, it's natural, son.
43
00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:09,430
Smegma's the build-up
of fatty deposits
44
00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:10,831
given off
by skin cells.
45
00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:12,166
Oh, Dad, stop.
I'm gonna puke.
46
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:14,201
Which congeal around the
penis glans, like, well...
47
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,436
cottage cheese.
48
00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:16,770
What the fuck is wrong
with you?
49
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:18,139
That's why I use "Smeg-Away."
50
00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:20,508
Dad, I meant feeling fresh
and awake in the morning.
51
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:22,476
I'm having trouble getting up
in the morning.
52
00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:23,577
Oh.
53
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,412
Well, Smeg-Away is not
gonna help with that.
54
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,548
I know!
55
00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:30,284
You better not tell anyone
about my smelly dick!
56
00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:31,785
Meet Genghis Khan,
57
00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:34,388
a righteous dude
from the 12th century.
58
00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:37,124
This dude can party
righteously.
59
00:02:37,191 --> 00:02:40,261
All in all, Genghis Khan was
a righteous dude.
60
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:43,797
MAN:
Genghis Khan killed 40 million people.
61
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:45,199
Uh, I -- okay.
62
00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:47,601
He's got a sword,
and he's really good with it,
63
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,036
you know, like "chop chop."
64
00:02:49,103 --> 00:02:50,504
He raped thousands of women.
65
00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:52,673
6% of Mongolians are
his direct descendants
66
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:54,408
because of all the rape.
67
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:56,677
Uh, is this, like, gonna
affect our grade?
68
00:02:56,744 --> 00:02:59,813
You basically went back in time
to pound beers with Hitler.
69
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,615
[audience boos]
- Uh, okay.
70
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,417
Let's bring out
our next guest.
71
00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:05,019
Dude, dude, unh-unh.
72
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:06,887
Oh, those pricks are not
bumping me.
73
00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:08,789
This will teach you a lesson
74
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,858
about how much work having
a baby really is.
75
00:03:10,925 --> 00:03:11,859
Hey, look.
76
00:03:11,926 --> 00:03:12,760
[ Splat! ]
77
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,196
And there's your
78
00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:17,031
Tummi, sit down.
79
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,833
We're all here to talk about
your drinking.
80
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:22,269
An intervention?
You got to be kidding.
81
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:24,638
We all drink gummiberry juice.
82
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,775
Only to fight ogres -- not
whenever we feel like it.
83
00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:30,377
Look how big your gummibelly
has gotten.
84
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:33,280
L-Last week, Tummi
convinced me to juice with him
85
00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:34,782
in the middle of the night.
86
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:35,816
Ohh.
87
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,719
He got so hopped up
that he bounced all over me.
88
00:03:38,786 --> 00:03:40,454
He popped my berry.
89
00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:42,122
- Why, you son of a bitch!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
90
00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:44,892
I thought we could help you,
Tummi, but you're sick.
91
00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:46,961
Why?
Because I want to bang Sunni?
92
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,230
As far as know,
none of us are related.
93
00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:50,164
[all gasp]
94
00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:51,799
Wait, are we not related?
95
00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:53,534
Well, we're not technically
related,
96
00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:56,337
but we are like a family.
- What -- what the fuck?
97
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:59,406
Then why haven't we all been
boning this entire time?
98
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,475
Our species is
going extinct.
99
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:04,945
Get ahold of yourself, Grammi.
We're still basically family.
100
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:07,915
And I basically haven't been
touched in 20 years.
101
00:04:07,982 --> 00:04:10,818
My cobwebs need dusting.
102
00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:12,519
Get to it.
103
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:20,060
Hya-- oh, wait a minute.
What did you just say'?
104
00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:21,161
What's that?
105
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:23,530
It's look like Blue left us
another clue.
106
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,933
What is it?
- KIDS: A shotgun!
107
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,502
You're right.
The third clue is a shotgun.
108
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:30,571
So, we have a set of teeth,
109
00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:32,640
a squirrel foaming
at the mouth,
110
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,508
and now a shotgun.
111
00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:36,810
Hmm.
I've got it.
112
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:39,113
Blue was bitten
by a rabid squirrel,
113
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:43,384
and now he's begging
for a mercy killing.
114
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:46,120
Hey, there, Blue.
- Bark! Bark!
115
00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:48,455
I've heard your cry for help.
116
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:50,357
You boys and girls
saw the clues,
117
00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:52,593
so you know this has
nothing to do with rumors
118
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,495
that Blue wants to replace me
with some
119
00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:56,563
spotlight-stealing
son of a bitch named Joe.
120
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:57,464
[gun cocks]
121
00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:59,533
[ growls ]
122
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:00,901
[ Barks]
123
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,936
[muttering ]
124
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:05,005
Mommy, I have to go
to the bathroom.
125
00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:07,641
- Number one or number two?
- Number three!
126
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,343
Oh, he just wants attention.
127
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:11,078
Billy, there's no such thing
as number --
128
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:13,213
[sneezes]
[farts ]
129
00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:19,386
Finally home to my perfect
suburban paradise.
130
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:20,487
[ Horn honks]
131
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,323
Hey, neighbor,
beautiful day, huh?
132
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:23,223
Ugh! Hi, Earl.
133
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,492
I see you still have your
satellite dishes up.
134
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:26,560
Yeppers.
135
00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:28,629
Of course, there's no point
now that the cable's in,
136
00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:30,497
but they sure look slick,
don't they?
137
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:33,033
And the propeller -- any idea
when that will come down?
138
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:34,101
[ Chuckles ]
139
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:36,170
Like I can just remove
a load-bearing propeller?
140
00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:38,005
Earl, dinner time.
141
00:05:38,072 --> 00:05:40,874
Billy-Boy, that's my cue.
See you later.
142
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,076
Argh!
143
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:43,677
[grunting ]
Yeah, yeah, no.
144
00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:44,845
WOMAN:
Ow, you're overthinking.
145
00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:46,447
Just put the knob
in the hollow end.
146
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,382
I know. Just --
Oh, forget it.
147
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,784
Come on. Bill, what's got you
so distracted?
148
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,353
Nothing.
Leave me alone.
149
00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:54,955
Fine. I don't know why I work
so hard to keep up this body
150
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,458
if you never wanna touch me.
151
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,760
[groans]
152
00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:03,997
Okay, love of my life,
I'm off to work.
153
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,532
Bill! What are you doing!
154
00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:08,302
Your house, Earl.
It's got to go.
155
00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:10,537
Sir, I repeat.
Get out of the bulldozer.
156
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,406
Green brick, red brick,
yellow brick --
157
00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:14,308
it's all coming
down!
158
00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:18,545
[gunfire]
159
00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:21,215
Calm down, everyone.
It's over now.
160
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,384
Uh, chief, you should take
a look at this.
161
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:24,585
[all gasp]
162
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:26,653
Oh, my gosh, it's heads --
people's heads!
163
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,722
Uh, so, you know...
[laughs nervously]
164
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,090
What... you...
165
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:32,526
[gunfire]
166
00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:34,161
That's where all the head
pieces went?
167
00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:35,929
I've been trying to find --
Scotty, you idiot!
168
00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:38,932
What? It looks cool.
169
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,034
Uh, sir, just so we're clear,
170
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:45,105
"The Angry Beavers" is
a kids' cartoon.
171
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:52,079
NARRATOR:
Look at this beautiful nature.
172
00:06:52,146 --> 00:06:53,947
Let's all go
cross-country skiing.
173
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,783
[wolf roars ]
Oh, no -- a Wolf.
174
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,418
Put away your skis.
175
00:06:57,484 --> 00:07:00,821
Wolves -- their main ingredients
are legs for speed,
176
00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:04,258
jaws for killing,
and brains to control
177
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:05,759
the legs and jaws.
178
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:07,828
Say, let's get
rid of all the wolves.
179
00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:09,463
There's no downside.
180
00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,532
The upside is
cross-country skiing.
181
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,534
Save the wolves, man.
182
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,403
You'd better clarify that point,
and right now.
183
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:18,705
Wolves control the deer
population.
184
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,208
If wolves go extinct,
deer would run amok.
185
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:23,410
Deer contain delicious steaks.
186
00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:25,412
You're saying you prefer
fewer steaks
187
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:27,214
instead of more steaks?
188
00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:29,116
Well, then the deer have
nowhere to go.
189
00:07:29,183 --> 00:07:31,351
They'll be forced
into urban environments.
190
00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:34,254
You're telling me good news
as if it's bad news.
191
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:36,423
The homeless can hunt them
for food.
192
00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:38,892
Are you telling me
you want armed homeless
193
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,561
roaming the streets?
Aah!
194
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,629
Those homeless people are
just gonna pawn those weapons
195
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:44,431
so they can buy drugs.
196
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:47,601
That's Why one in every 70 deer
will be a golden-ticket deer,
197
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,803
filled with a cache of drugs.
198
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:52,706
So, our choice is, either
the existence of wolves
199
00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:54,775
or armed homeless people
200
00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:56,710
hunting
crack-cocaine-implanted deer?
201
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:57,611
Aah!
202
00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,780
Sounds like an easy
choice to me.
203
00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:03,417
[ sighs ]
Then again, I'm just an innocent voice-over announcer.
204
00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:05,385
I have no dog in this fight --
205
00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:07,354
no, none whatsoever.
206
00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:08,422
[ding!]
207
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:12,926
And for you, Scarecrow,
a brain.
208
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,461
DeVry University?
209
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:18,232
If you wanna call me an asshole,
do it to my face.
210
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:19,967
You're an asshole.
211
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:23,070
Stick around, Scotty.
212
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:25,138
I might need to lay down a...
Captain's log.
213
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:27,174
Gross, sir.
214
00:08:27,241 --> 00:08:31,011
Aah, that's a class-four
piss hydra from hell.
215
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:33,447
I should... probably get that
looked at.
216
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,782
You have stage-three
space herpes, Jim.
217
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,552
Have you been having sex with
the aliens we've discovered?
218
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,153
There wasn't much sleeping
going on.
219
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:41,755
Wait.
You said "having sex."
220
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:43,123
Too bad -- that would have
been funny.
221
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,158
Damn it, Jim.
What about the prime directive?
222
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:47,261
Did I forget to tell you
about the prime directive,
223
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:48,262
big guy?
[ laughs ]
224
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:50,731
Oh, wow, I'm getting some
vibrant colors down there.
225
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:53,033
[sniffs]
Ohh, that is... ripe.
226
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:55,702
You've been spreading
a virulent STD
227
00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:57,304
across the entire galaxy.
228
00:08:57,371 --> 00:09:00,374
I... have a lot
to put right.
229
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:03,076
Then again, we live
in the 23rd century.
230
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,778
Problem solved.
- Damn it, Jim.
231
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,847
You've gotta notify
every alien you slept with
232
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:08,348
in the past five years.
233
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:09,249
Captain's log.
234
00:09:09,316 --> 00:09:11,084
Stardate -- I'm not talking
to bones anymore.
235
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:13,453
He's a real... buzzkill.
236
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,789
Relax, it's not like
it's space AIDS.
237
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,224
Scotty,
here are the coordinates
238
00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:18,992
of every place
my Wang made contact.
239
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,727
[gasps]
Me mother's house?
240
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:23,297
I wouldn't kiss her
on the mouth from now on.
241
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:24,898
Or the butt.
242
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:26,366
You want to slide
those knobs there,
243
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,502
or you want me to keep
going?
244
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,070
So, the chances are slim,
245
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:32,306
but I'd get tested
just to be safe.
246
00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:34,041
I'm just a slave.
247
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:36,610
The fact that you took the time
to tell me really touches my heart.
248
00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:39,713
Just like you...
touched mine.
249
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:42,282
Hey, I heard that.
Chuck, this one's got a bug.
250
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:43,951
Throw her in the incinerator.
251
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:46,086
So, remember that...
game I taught you --
252
00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:47,621
the... naked game?
253
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,990
You never told me who won.
254
00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:52,492
We both lost.
255
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:53,794
Hello, the gorn.
256
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:56,530
I know we promised never to talk
about our epic battle
257
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,365
and how our hands,
clenched in anger,
258
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,400
found themselves
intertwined in passion,
259
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:03,303
but I might have given
you... herpes.
260
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:06,106
No shit.
261
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:10,143
[grunts]
262
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:13,680
[grunts]
Oh. Oh.
263
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:15,415
Really. Yeah.
264
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,584
Damn it, Jim.
Keep it in your pants.
265
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:19,486
Bones, you're a doctor,
not my mom.
266
00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:21,722
Everyone's been notified,
so no harm, no foul.
267
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,824
Scotty's parents are getting
a divorce.
268
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:25,892
Yes, it's all tied up
in a nice little bow,
269
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,260
except for one thing.
270
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:30,263
Who gave the herpes...
to me?
271
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,833
Hey, man.
We got to talk.
272
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:33,734
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
273
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:34,901
♪ Ba-bawk bawk
bawk ♪
274
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,037
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk ♪
275
00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:38,171
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
276
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,172
♪ Ba-bawk bawk
bawk ♪
277
00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:41,341
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk ♪
278
00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:42,409
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
279
00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:43,477
♪ Ba-bawk bawk
bawk ♪
280
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,679
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk ♪
281
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,748
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
20338
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