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1
00:00:03,974 --> 00:00:05,545
Ooh, hun.
What do you think of this?
2
00:00:05,578 --> 00:00:07,683
Uh, It's a spoon, Tam.
We got tons of spoons.
3
00:00:07,783 --> 00:00:10,420
I think it's nice.
Could be worth a lot of money.
4
00:00:10,588 --> 00:00:12,391
100% lead.
5
00:00:12,425 --> 00:00:13,761
Whoa. Oh, god.
6
00:00:13,827 --> 00:00:16,399
Yo, check it out, Hank.
It's like a metal duck. Haha.
7
00:00:16,466 --> 00:00:19,272
Quack, quack. Oh, no!
It's got my nose. Ahh!
8
00:00:19,305 --> 00:00:23,179
That's actually an antique
gynecological speculum.
9
00:00:25,184 --> 00:00:26,854
Yo, hon.
You ready to get out of here?
10
00:00:26,954 --> 00:00:28,189
Come on, five more minutes!
- Ughh!
11
00:00:28,323 --> 00:00:30,060
I'm trying to find
a hidden gem, like
12
00:00:30,094 --> 00:00:31,964
them folks on Antiques Roadshow.
13
00:00:31,997 --> 00:00:34,068
Oh, wow.
This is nice.
14
00:00:34,101 --> 00:00:35,839
Might be valuable.
- Tam, are you kidding me?
15
00:00:35,872 --> 00:00:38,511
Who the hell wants to look at
a painting of a creepy old barn?
16
00:00:38,611 --> 00:00:40,047
I'm getting sad just
looking at it.
17
00:00:40,147 --> 00:00:43,453
[a rooster crows]
Mark, they got animals outside.
18
00:00:43,555 --> 00:00:45,692
Oh, dude. Yo, Hank.
They got animals.
19
00:00:45,726 --> 00:00:47,127
Oh, ho! Hell yeah.
20
00:00:47,896 --> 00:00:50,200
Yo, dude. This
horse is no joke, man.
21
00:00:50,234 --> 00:00:51,703
This is a real
friggin' horse.
22
00:00:52,404 --> 00:00:56,112
Oh, hey there, horsey.
- Eh... You want to try?
23
00:00:56,246 --> 00:00:57,481
Oh, thanks, yeah.
24
00:00:57,582 --> 00:01:00,320
Oh, no, no. For the horse.
- Oh. Oops.
25
00:01:00,353 --> 00:01:03,393
Here you go, horsey.
Man, he loves apples, eh?
26
00:01:03,494 --> 00:01:06,566
Oh yes, but ah,
it's just for treat.
27
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,971
[horse farts]
Oh! They give him gas.
28
00:01:09,004 --> 00:01:11,543
Yo damn, dude. That's like
a beautiful animal right there.
29
00:01:11,643 --> 00:01:13,247
Look at those glutes, dude!
Unreal!
30
00:01:13,347 --> 00:01:16,085
Ay, this horse is very powerful.
31
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:19,592
You ever race it?
- No, just pull the seed wagon.
32
00:01:19,859 --> 00:01:20,862
Huh...
33
00:01:21,096 --> 00:01:22,565
Yo hank, they got
frickin' Seabiscuit
34
00:01:22,632 --> 00:01:24,135
out here working the field,
dude.
35
00:01:24,369 --> 00:01:25,871
You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
36
00:01:26,807 --> 00:01:28,511
300.
- 300!
37
00:01:28,611 --> 00:01:30,815
Hey man, great doing
business with you, alright?
38
00:01:30,848 --> 00:01:31,984
Oh, no.
39
00:01:32,652 --> 00:01:36,192
Mark Hoagies, please tell
me you did not buy a horse.
40
00:01:36,292 --> 00:01:37,996
No, I did not buy a horse.
41
00:01:38,062 --> 00:01:40,134
Oh. Okay, you scared me.
42
00:01:40,167 --> 00:01:42,705
Hank and I bought
it together! Yooo.
43
00:01:44,676 --> 00:01:47,047
♪ Well, I used to work
in hot dog factory ♪
44
00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:49,051
♪ until them
robots came along, ♪
45
00:01:49,118 --> 00:01:51,089
♪ and now there is no
job for me, ♪
46
00:01:51,122 --> 00:01:53,260
♪ but I get three thousand
bucks a month. ♪
47
00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:57,936
♪ Thanks to UBI. ♪
48
00:01:58,003 --> 00:02:01,342
♪ Now we're Universal
Basic Guys. ♪
49
00:02:01,442 --> 00:02:06,352
♪ It may not sound like much,
but we're still gonna try. ♪
50
00:02:06,452 --> 00:02:10,661
♪ We're just Universal
Basic Guys. ♪
51
00:02:15,571 --> 00:02:18,410
Do you like uh, hay?
I hear it's for horses.
52
00:02:18,611 --> 00:02:19,513
No?
53
00:02:19,780 --> 00:02:22,919
Wait, do you mean "yes"
or does the "neigh" mean, "nay?"
54
00:02:23,152 --> 00:02:25,625
Yo, how's our boy doing?
55
00:02:25,725 --> 00:02:26,526
He's pretty good, Mark.
56
00:02:26,827 --> 00:02:29,331
I was thinking uh,
maybe we can name him Mr. Ed.
57
00:02:29,431 --> 00:02:31,168
No, we're not calling
him Mr. Ed. C'mon.
58
00:02:31,268 --> 00:02:33,106
- Uh, why not?
Copyright issues.
59
00:02:33,173 --> 00:02:34,442
I'm thinking we call him.
60
00:02:34,610 --> 00:02:37,582
Hoagie Jones as an homage
to Smarty Jones,
61
00:02:37,849 --> 00:02:40,087
the greatest horse in
Philadelphia history.
62
00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:42,024
Ugh, Mark, can we talk?
63
00:02:42,592 --> 00:02:44,361
C'mon, Tam. I thought
you liked horses.
64
00:02:44,461 --> 00:02:46,399
Yeah, everybody does.
But there's
65
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,069
a difference
between liking horses
66
00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:49,606
and having one
live in your garage.
67
00:02:49,707 --> 00:02:51,242
I'm telling you, Tam.
I got a feeling
68
00:02:51,342 --> 00:02:53,012
about this horse,
okay? It's frickin' jacked.
69
00:02:53,046 --> 00:02:55,685
This thing is an investment.
It's gonna to pay off big time.
70
00:02:55,719 --> 00:02:57,990
Tell me the last good
investment you made.
71
00:02:58,023 --> 00:03:00,728
How's that plot of land in the
metaverse working out for you?
72
00:03:00,795 --> 00:03:03,199
Actually, I'm riding the dip,
Tam. And by the way,
73
00:03:03,232 --> 00:03:04,770
this is pretty rich coming
from the woman
74
00:03:04,803 --> 00:03:07,776
who just paid $300 for
some random painting of a barn.
75
00:03:07,809 --> 00:03:09,746
Actually, I've been doing
some research
76
00:03:09,813 --> 00:03:12,686
and I think it's an Andrew
Wyeth. Could be worth millions.
77
00:03:12,786 --> 00:03:15,223
Oh yeah, when our horse
wins The Triple Crown,
78
00:03:15,323 --> 00:03:17,529
maybe you can buy an
actual Andrew Wyatt.
79
00:03:17,629 --> 00:03:19,532
For all you know that
thing could be a mule.
80
00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:20,868
Well, we're gonna find
out soon.
81
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:22,939
I got my expert coming by
to take a look.
82
00:03:23,073 --> 00:03:24,777
[doorbell]
Oh, would you look at that?
83
00:03:24,877 --> 00:03:28,116
I believe my horse racing
aficionado has arrived.
84
00:03:28,216 --> 00:03:29,586
So where's the pony?
85
00:03:30,655 --> 00:03:32,926
Looks like a legit thoroughbred
you got here.
86
00:03:32,959 --> 00:03:34,161
Boom! You hear that, Tam?
87
00:03:34,261 --> 00:03:35,998
Yeah, but I don't mean he
can win a race.
88
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:37,836
Oh, c'mon, dude.
Look at his gams, dude.
89
00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:39,038
He's obviously explosive.
90
00:03:39,071 --> 00:03:42,044
Well, uh. Won't know for sure
until we see him run.
91
00:03:42,378 --> 00:03:43,781
What are you doing down there,
Hank?
92
00:03:43,814 --> 00:03:46,352
Oh, I'm uh, I'm teaching him
how to talk, like a monkey.
93
00:03:46,386 --> 00:03:47,221
Watch this...
94
00:03:47,421 --> 00:03:50,127
Hey, Hoagie Jones.
What do you want for lunch?
95
00:03:50,260 --> 00:03:52,532
" Sleep. Sleep. Poop."
- Pretty cool, eh?
96
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:54,402
He wants poop and two
sleeps for lunch.
97
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:56,840
Uh, yeah. I don't
know about this, Hank.
98
00:03:57,775 --> 00:04:00,247
Okay, Hoagie Jones.
Let's see what you got, baby.
99
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,017
Show me those afterburners.
100
00:04:10,267 --> 00:04:12,037
I'm not gonna lie,
that might be the slowest
101
00:04:12,138 --> 00:04:14,408
horse I've ever seen.
- Ah, damnit.
102
00:04:15,443 --> 00:04:16,880
Who cares if he's slow, Mark?
103
00:04:16,914 --> 00:04:18,116
Uh, I care, Hank?
104
00:04:18,183 --> 00:04:20,689
I mean, what's the point of
buying a horse if it can't race?
105
00:04:20,822 --> 00:04:23,193
I don't know, just to
have a horse, I guess.
106
00:04:23,226 --> 00:04:24,462
Oh my God, dude.
Frickin' Tammy's
107
00:04:24,563 --> 00:04:25,732
gonna to rake me over the coals
108
00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:27,400
when she finds out
we paid six grand
109
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,138
for friggin'
Slowpoke Rodriguez.
110
00:04:29,171 --> 00:04:30,708
Ah, not necessarily, okay.
111
00:04:30,741 --> 00:04:33,179
You can still make a lot of
money on a slow pony.
112
00:04:33,246 --> 00:04:34,516
Just gotta bet on it to lose.
113
00:04:34,549 --> 00:04:36,385
Dude, frickin' genius.
I'm in.
114
00:04:36,419 --> 00:04:37,856
Yeah well, there's one hiccup,
okay:
115
00:04:37,889 --> 00:04:39,926
No legit jockey's gonna
ride this thing.
116
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,164
I can ride him.
- Nah, nah, you're too big.
117
00:04:42,264 --> 00:04:44,167
Gotta be a real
tiny little man
118
00:04:44,301 --> 00:04:46,171
who ain't afraid to slap
around a horse.
119
00:04:46,472 --> 00:04:47,642
Yeah, yeah, yeah, let me see.
120
00:04:47,742 --> 00:04:49,713
Let me get the fried flounder,
double the meat,
121
00:04:49,746 --> 00:04:51,716
throw in a little crab
meat on top, will ya?
122
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,219
Also the prime rib special wit'
123
00:04:53,219 --> 00:04:54,823
green beans and
sweet potato mashed.
124
00:04:54,890 --> 00:04:57,228
And give me a side of
steak-cut onion rings,
125
00:04:57,328 --> 00:04:58,564
well done.
Thank you, sweetheart.
126
00:04:58,597 --> 00:05:00,467
Yo, what the hell kinda
order is that, Steve?
127
00:05:00,502 --> 00:05:01,737
You're getting lethal
injection tomorrow?
128
00:05:01,770 --> 00:05:03,206
You said you were buyin',
Hoagies.
129
00:05:03,239 --> 00:05:04,041
You're unbelievable.
130
00:05:04,274 --> 00:05:06,345
You're the one that
invited me to lunch, pal.
131
00:05:06,379 --> 00:05:07,916
Okay, yeah.
Well, so are you in or what?.
132
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,755
Frankly, I'm insulted.
You think just because
133
00:05:10,755 --> 00:05:12,223
I'm short,
I know how to be a
134
00:05:12,223 --> 00:05:13,728
frickin' jockey?
You think my whole
135
00:05:13,728 --> 00:05:16,499
family's just full of jockeys
and I can just pop on the saddle
136
00:05:16,633 --> 00:05:18,069
and know what
the hell I'm doing?
137
00:05:18,103 --> 00:05:19,305
Nah, I just figure, you know...
138
00:05:19,372 --> 00:05:21,442
Well, I got news
for you. You're right.
139
00:05:21,543 --> 00:05:23,379
On my mom's side,
there were a lot of jockeys.
140
00:05:23,379 --> 00:05:25,483
My Uncle Joe, my Cousin Danny,
141
00:05:25,518 --> 00:05:27,522
and my Grandfather, Pippinucci.
142
00:05:27,655 --> 00:05:29,760
Aw man, he was
an all-time jockey.
143
00:05:29,793 --> 00:05:32,532
He rode Watercracker in the
Stakes until the horse broke
144
00:05:32,532 --> 00:05:34,401
down in the stretch and
it tossed him.
145
00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:36,238
Poor guy faceplanted,
sent his nose
146
00:05:36,272 --> 00:05:37,207
through the back of
his head and
147
00:05:37,374 --> 00:05:39,378
put him in a wheelchair for
the rest of his life.
148
00:05:39,478 --> 00:05:41,149
Ever since then,
I've hated horses.
149
00:05:41,249 --> 00:05:43,386
Ugly, discusting,
smelly animals!
150
00:05:43,453 --> 00:05:45,057
Yeah, but I know
you got that itch, dude.
151
00:05:45,157 --> 00:05:47,494
It's in your blood.
- No, I don't have an itch.
152
00:05:47,529 --> 00:05:49,265
I'm not trying to
break my collarbone.
153
00:05:49,365 --> 00:05:50,601
I got enough
trouble getting back
154
00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:52,171
on a saddle after the divorce.
155
00:05:52,271 --> 00:05:53,540
You know girls
on dating apps can
156
00:05:53,641 --> 00:05:55,276
set a height limit.
You believe that?
157
00:05:55,377 --> 00:05:56,814
I'm being discriminated
against because
158
00:05:56,914 --> 00:05:59,051
my resume doesn't
even show up in the pile!
159
00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:00,486
Oh, yeah?
Watch this.
160
00:06:00,587 --> 00:06:03,293
Hey, ma'am. You know,
my friend here's a pro athlete?
161
00:06:03,426 --> 00:06:05,363
- Is that so?
Yeah, he's a jockey.
162
00:06:05,397 --> 00:06:07,736
Cool.
Do you ride in races and stuff?
163
00:06:07,836 --> 00:06:10,440
Oh, yeah. I ride
more than races, sweetheart.
164
00:06:10,541 --> 00:06:12,077
Give me your number.
I'll show you.
165
00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:13,212
Ew.
166
00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:14,816
Okay, well,
maybe don't say that.
167
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,786
Dude, that was the
closest I've come to
168
00:06:16,786 --> 00:06:19,993
getting laid since the
divorce. Screw it. I'm in.
169
00:06:20,194 --> 00:06:21,797
Yooo. There we go.
170
00:06:22,064 --> 00:06:24,769
Yo! What's with this service!?
Are we in France or something?
171
00:06:24,803 --> 00:06:26,640
Where's my frickin' flounders?
172
00:06:31,416 --> 00:06:32,718
Alright, how we
feeling, Steve?
173
00:06:32,818 --> 00:06:33,654
I'm not gonna to lie to ya.
174
00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:36,560
Feels kinda right. Whoa,
whoa there, you idiot.
175
00:06:36,593 --> 00:06:38,195
Save it for the race.
176
00:06:38,229 --> 00:06:40,133
I don't like the way he
talks to the horse, Mark.
177
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,505
Hank, the horse has no clue
what the hell he's even saying,
178
00:06:42,572 --> 00:06:45,077
It's just one race. After
this, we collect on a bet,
179
00:06:45,110 --> 00:06:48,382
flip the thing, and boom!
100% return on investment.
180
00:06:48,482 --> 00:06:49,987
Or we can keep him as a pet.
181
00:06:50,087 --> 00:06:51,823
Oh, yeah, okay.
We'll talk about it later.
182
00:06:51,857 --> 00:06:54,128
Right now, it's race time,
baby.
183
00:06:54,295 --> 00:06:55,531
Let's go!
184
00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:58,136
And they're off!
185
00:06:58,571 --> 00:07:01,142
Red Rocket takes an early lead,
closely followed by Midnight
186
00:07:01,142 --> 00:07:03,580
Monday and Martin Horsesese
neck and neck...
187
00:07:03,713 --> 00:07:07,054
Yo, there we go, Hoagie Jones.
Do your thing, buddy.
188
00:07:07,187 --> 00:07:08,624
Nice and slow. Hehehe.
189
00:07:08,724 --> 00:07:10,628
Yo, loser! Let's go!
190
00:07:10,728 --> 00:07:12,364
I've seen snails run
faster than you!
191
00:07:12,431 --> 00:07:14,101
Whaddya got brain
worms or something?
192
00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:15,738
[whip] Ha!
[neigh]!
193
00:07:16,105 --> 00:07:19,211
There we go, you little putz!
Remember, the faster you run
194
00:07:19,278 --> 00:07:20,982
the faster I'm off
your bum-ass!
195
00:07:21,015 --> 00:07:22,852
And here comes
Hoagie Jones, pushing
196
00:07:22,852 --> 00:07:25,825
through the ground
with a burst of speed!
197
00:07:25,958 --> 00:07:26,960
Holy moly!
198
00:07:27,194 --> 00:07:30,000
You better run, or I'm gonna
mount your head above my bed,
199
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:32,304
so you can watch me make
love to your mother!
200
00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:33,674
Woah!
- What the hell?
201
00:07:33,774 --> 00:07:35,511
I'm gonna rip out your
teeth and use 'em
202
00:07:35,544 --> 00:07:38,751
to tile to backsplash in my
kitchen! Hyah! C'mon!
203
00:07:39,151 --> 00:07:41,189
I'll tell you what.
I guess he ain't so slow.
204
00:07:41,222 --> 00:07:42,357
Ha ha ha ha!
Yeah!
205
00:07:42,391 --> 00:07:44,027
And Hoagie Jones takes it in a
206
00:07:44,027 --> 00:07:46,432
thrilling come-
from-behind victory!
207
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:48,469
Let's go, dude!
Let's go!
208
00:07:48,504 --> 00:07:50,306
Alright, welp,
we just lost a lot of money.
209
00:07:50,406 --> 00:07:53,379
Oh yeah, but we're about to
make a whole lot more, dude.
210
00:07:53,479 --> 00:07:54,749
This horse is a peach.
211
00:07:54,883 --> 00:07:56,686
How about it, Hank? Let's go!
212
00:08:01,228 --> 00:08:02,230
Mm, I guess, yeah.
213
00:08:04,368 --> 00:08:06,004
Not bad, ya ugly S.O.B.
214
00:08:06,405 --> 00:08:07,207
Steve, dude!
215
00:08:07,642 --> 00:08:10,013
Unbelievable, man. I didn't
know you could ride like that.
216
00:08:10,046 --> 00:08:12,685
Thanks, man. Think is you
gotta ride 'em hard, Hoagies.
217
00:08:12,919 --> 00:08:14,789
It's how my mother got me
to do my homework.
218
00:08:14,822 --> 00:08:17,260
Doesn't work on every horse,
but when it does, look out.
219
00:08:17,729 --> 00:08:21,669
Hey, hey! He didn't do nothing.
Put that thing around my neck.
220
00:08:22,370 --> 00:08:24,809
If this doesn't get me laid
I don't know what will.
221
00:08:25,544 --> 00:08:28,049
Oh, how you feeling,
big guy? Any better?
222
00:08:28,082 --> 00:08:32,290
"Happy. Sad.
Sad. Outside. Yellow."
223
00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:34,529
Yeah, I hear ya.
How 'bout a treat?
224
00:08:34,696 --> 00:08:37,301
Yo, phew. It stinks in here,
dude. How many apples
225
00:08:37,334 --> 00:08:38,103
you feed in this thing?
226
00:08:38,270 --> 00:08:39,873
I'm trying to make
him feel better, Mark.
227
00:08:39,973 --> 00:08:41,676
I didn't like how Steve
was treating him.
228
00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:43,212
He said some really mean stuff.
229
00:08:43,279 --> 00:08:44,047
Aw, no, no. C'mon. It's--
230
00:08:44,248 --> 00:08:45,885
The horse was just responding
to the tone.
231
00:08:45,985 --> 00:08:47,989
Champions love to be
coached hard.
232
00:08:48,056 --> 00:08:49,859
It's a known fact.
- I dunno, uh...
233
00:08:49,893 --> 00:08:51,429
What do you think, Hoagie Jones?
234
00:08:51,462 --> 00:08:52,699
"Pee. Dog."
235
00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:54,135
Sounds like a "yes" to me.
236
00:08:54,736 --> 00:08:56,305
Listen, it's gonna be great,
dude.
237
00:08:56,438 --> 00:08:57,775
We got a stud horse
on our hands.
238
00:08:57,809 --> 00:08:59,078
I'm telling you nothing makes a
239
00:08:59,078 --> 00:09:00,915
horse happier than
being a champion.
240
00:09:00,948 --> 00:09:02,685
Now, that is a happy horse.
241
00:09:02,785 --> 00:09:04,989
I dunno.
He's uh... He's not smiling.
242
00:09:05,123 --> 00:09:06,960
Yeah, but think about all
the fancy apples
243
00:09:07,027 --> 00:09:08,998
You can buy with that prize
money we're gonna to win.
244
00:09:09,098 --> 00:09:10,968
I mean you can buy that
horse a frickin' orchard.
245
00:09:11,002 --> 00:09:13,339
- Yeah I guess
Yooo. There we go.
246
00:09:13,373 --> 00:09:15,377
Now let's go win
some races!
247
00:09:15,444 --> 00:09:17,013
♪ I'm here to ball
I'm here to win ♪
248
00:09:17,047 --> 00:09:18,750
♪ Did it before
I'm a do it again ♪
249
00:09:18,884 --> 00:09:20,287
♪ I'm a go off
This for the fans ♪
250
00:09:20,387 --> 00:09:22,357
♪ Straight from the start
I'm a go to the end ♪
251
00:09:22,457 --> 00:09:24,762
♪ And take it all
I'm go take it all ♪
252
00:09:24,796 --> 00:09:27,434
♪ (Take it all), (Take it all)
(Let's take it) ♪
253
00:09:27,468 --> 00:09:28,971
♪ I'm here to ball
I'm here to win ♪
254
00:09:28,971 --> 00:09:30,741
♪ Did it before
I'm a do it again ♪
255
00:09:30,775 --> 00:09:32,243
♪ I'm a go off
This for the fans ♪
256
00:09:32,377 --> 00:09:34,348
♪ Straight from the start
I'm a go to the end ♪
257
00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:36,620
♪ And take it all
I'm go take it all ♪
258
00:09:36,753 --> 00:09:38,890
♪ I'm go take it all
I'm go take it all ♪
259
00:09:38,990 --> 00:09:42,230
♪ I'ma go take it all
Cuz I'm here to ball ♪
260
00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:43,667
♪ I'm here to Win
Did it before ♪
261
00:09:43,734 --> 00:09:45,504
♪ I'm a do it again
I'm a go off ♪
262
00:09:45,604 --> 00:09:47,407
♪ This for the fans
Straight from the start ♪
263
00:09:47,508 --> 00:09:50,046
♪ I'm a go to the end
Go take it all ♪
264
00:09:50,113 --> 00:09:51,616
♪ Go take it all ♪
265
00:09:51,650 --> 00:09:52,652
Now that's art.
266
00:09:52,752 --> 00:09:55,023
Yeah, yeah. I gotta say, honey,
267
00:09:55,190 --> 00:09:58,062
I did not think this horse thing
was gonna to work out for you.
268
00:09:58,163 --> 00:10:00,768
ah, for us, Tam.
I just found out that we
269
00:10:00,835 --> 00:10:03,206
qualified for the
Atlantic City Derby.
270
00:10:03,239 --> 00:10:04,074
So soon, you and I are
271
00:10:04,308 --> 00:10:06,312
gonna to be living a high life,
all thanks to the
272
00:10:06,412 --> 00:10:09,051
little "hidden gem"
I found at the estate sale.
273
00:10:09,284 --> 00:10:12,190
Who would have thunk it?
A toast, to Hoagie Jones,
274
00:10:12,290 --> 00:10:15,330
the best investment our
family's ever made. By me.
275
00:10:15,363 --> 00:10:17,635
Uh... this looks
expensive, Mark.
276
00:10:17,668 --> 00:10:20,039
Yeah. Indeed, it's not cheap.
It's not cheap.
277
00:10:20,039 --> 00:10:21,910
It's imported from The
Loire Valley in France,
278
00:10:22,010 --> 00:10:24,414
you may I heard of it?
A favorite amongst my fellow
279
00:10:24,414 --> 00:10:25,216
horse owners.
280
00:10:25,383 --> 00:10:27,655
Uh. How much
of your winnings have you spent?
281
00:10:27,688 --> 00:10:29,424
Whoa there, Tam.
It's a little uncouth
282
00:10:29,457 --> 00:10:30,828
to reveal one's financials.
283
00:10:30,928 --> 00:10:32,632
You spent all of it, didn't you?
284
00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:34,001
No, I re-invested it.
285
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:36,205
The prize money is merely
a small piece of the pie.
286
00:10:36,305 --> 00:10:39,044
The real money comes
after you win a Triple Crown:
287
00:10:39,044 --> 00:10:41,750
You got the stud
farming, licensing,
288
00:10:41,783 --> 00:10:44,622
and of course, merchandising.
Yo, check it out, Tam.
289
00:10:44,655 --> 00:10:47,928
We got the Hoagie Jones
t-shirts, the hats here,
290
00:10:47,962 --> 00:10:50,535
got the beer koozies, dude.
All kinds of stuff.
291
00:10:50,702 --> 00:10:52,872
Hoagie Jones is about to
be a brand name.
292
00:10:52,972 --> 00:10:55,443
I'm talking like Seattle Slew
or a Secretariat.
293
00:10:55,578 --> 00:10:57,748
Uh, and what if
your horse loses?
294
00:10:57,848 --> 00:10:59,719
Uh, it's called betting
on yourself, Tam.
295
00:10:59,752 --> 00:11:02,691
Mark, this is completely
irresponsible. Maybe I
296
00:11:02,725 --> 00:11:04,996
should handle the finances
for this horse business.
297
00:11:05,096 --> 00:11:07,367
Oh really, Tam? How's
your investment paying off?
298
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:10,139
You're gonna return it to Home-
goods for a $30 store credit?
299
00:11:10,239 --> 00:11:12,444
Ugh, you know, you don't
know a damn thing about art!
300
00:11:12,477 --> 00:11:15,083
I Guarantee I make more money
from this painting than
301
00:11:15,149 --> 00:11:17,220
you will with this
idiotic horse venture.
302
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:18,155
Pfft! Not a chance.
303
00:11:18,256 --> 00:11:21,195
You better hope to God
this horse wins.
304
00:11:22,230 --> 00:11:25,370
Well... it does indeed look
like an Andrew Wyeth.
305
00:11:25,437 --> 00:11:28,242
Really? Haha, I knew it! Yes!
306
00:11:28,342 --> 00:11:29,679
But unfortunately, it's not.
307
00:11:29,746 --> 00:11:31,081
Looks like someone
must have taken
308
00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:32,885
an Andrew Wyeth painting class.
309
00:11:32,919 --> 00:11:34,756
Ugh, so how much is it worth?
310
00:11:34,856 --> 00:11:37,227
I mean, ultimately,
art is subjective.
311
00:11:37,294 --> 00:11:39,966
If this painting speaks to you,
it's priceless.
312
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:42,705
If not, I'd say about 20 bucks.
313
00:11:42,738 --> 00:11:44,475
Can you write me
a fake appraisal for
314
00:11:44,576 --> 00:11:46,278
more so I can just
show my husband?
315
00:11:46,312 --> 00:11:47,281
Absolutely not.
316
00:11:47,381 --> 00:11:49,351
If the Art Appraisal Guild
got wind of that,
317
00:11:49,384 --> 00:11:50,186
they'd beat me to death.
318
00:11:50,253 --> 00:11:52,725
with an easel.
Please go and never
319
00:11:52,758 --> 00:11:55,798
speak of this again.
- Uh... Okay--
320
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,837
Hmm, pretty good, yeah.
[horse farts]
321
00:11:58,871 --> 00:12:02,845
Ah, come on. There ya go, bud.
322
00:12:02,912 --> 00:12:04,615
Uh, maybe enough
with the snacks, Hank.
323
00:12:04,615 --> 00:12:06,252
Okay, he's got a
race in two hours.
324
00:12:07,053 --> 00:12:09,458
I think he's having anxiety,
Mark. He really doesn't
325
00:12:09,491 --> 00:12:10,794
like the
way Steve treats him...
326
00:12:10,828 --> 00:12:12,096
What do you mean the
horse has anxie--
327
00:12:12,163 --> 00:12:13,299
How-- What are you
basing that on?
328
00:12:13,634 --> 00:12:16,105
He told me, with the buttons.
- Oh yeah? What'd he say, uh
329
00:12:16,172 --> 00:12:19,278
"boat-seashell-poop?
- No, he said "shoe",
330
00:12:19,478 --> 00:12:22,317
which also means "sad".
I don't think he likes racing.
331
00:12:22,350 --> 00:12:23,987
Of course he does,
dude. He's a horse.
332
00:12:24,020 --> 00:12:25,256
All horses love racing.
333
00:12:25,389 --> 00:12:26,626
Maybe we should ask him.
334
00:12:26,659 --> 00:12:28,162
Alri--No-- C'mon, dude.
Enough with this.
335
00:12:28,295 --> 00:12:31,068
Hey, Hoagie Jones. Do you,
uh, like racing?
336
00:12:31,235 --> 00:12:33,172
"No. No. Shoe."
337
00:12:33,205 --> 00:12:35,109
See, right there!!
He doesn't wanna race, Mark.
338
00:12:35,209 --> 00:12:37,648
Uh sorry bud, but the horse
does not have a say in this.
339
00:12:37,682 --> 00:12:39,919
Well I do. It's half my horse,
Mark.
340
00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:42,257
Hank, I need this investment
to pay off.
341
00:12:42,324 --> 00:12:44,195
I hear you, Mark,
but I just really think-
342
00:12:44,195 --> 00:12:46,164
Eh, enough, alright.
He's racing, Hank.
343
00:12:51,041 --> 00:12:52,612
Whoo, this place is the
real deal.
344
00:12:52,645 --> 00:12:53,847
Oh, yeah. Big time.
345
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:57,420
There he is. The Next Triple
Crown winner: Hoagie Jones.
346
00:12:57,521 --> 00:12:59,157
Hank, you excited, buddy?
347
00:13:00,728 --> 00:13:02,731
- I dunno.
Aw, c'mon, dude. Lighten up.
348
00:13:02,831 --> 00:13:04,234
This is the big time, baby.
349
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,372
I bet the hot dogs here
are unbelievable.
350
00:13:06,405 --> 00:13:08,409
Yo, you guys wanna go
check out the VIP club?
351
00:13:08,510 --> 00:13:10,346
That's where all the big
shot owners hang out.
352
00:13:10,379 --> 00:13:12,718
Ooh, yeah... Um...
I gotta get something out of
353
00:13:12,718 --> 00:13:14,454
the car real quick.
Be right back.
354
00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:22,303
Hey, buddy. Want me get
you outta here?
355
00:13:33,159 --> 00:13:35,229
So yeah, just let me know if
you wanna do some stud
356
00:13:35,329 --> 00:13:37,702
farming, maybe with
some of your mares.
357
00:13:37,735 --> 00:13:39,271
He's really packing,
so I think they'll
358
00:13:39,371 --> 00:13:41,008
really enjoy it.
You know what I mean?
359
00:13:41,075 --> 00:13:42,845
I'll get back to you on that.
360
00:13:43,012 --> 00:13:45,751
Uh, excuse me... Ma'am?
- Yes.
361
00:13:45,851 --> 00:13:47,354
I love your...uh... hat.
362
00:13:47,622 --> 00:13:49,023
Mmm. Thank you.
363
00:13:49,124 --> 00:13:52,497
It's made with feathers from
the last living Dodo. Hahaha.
364
00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:53,633
Ugh. Alright.
365
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:56,271
Say, are you interested in art?
366
00:13:56,471 --> 00:13:57,474
Not really.
367
00:13:57,575 --> 00:13:58,744
Ugh. Alright.
368
00:13:58,844 --> 00:14:02,117
Yo, Hoagies! Where the
hell's the horse?
369
00:14:02,150 --> 00:14:03,385
Huh? What are you
talking about?
370
00:14:03,485 --> 00:14:05,725
I went to take a whiz,
came back, now he's gone!
371
00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:07,060
The hell?
372
00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:13,372
Oh God. Dude.
Oh, no frickin' way.
373
00:14:13,773 --> 00:14:15,610
Wait a minute. Where's Hank?
374
00:14:20,186 --> 00:14:21,756
Hank! What the hell
are you doin'?!
375
00:14:21,790 --> 00:14:22,825
We're going home.
376
00:14:22,925 --> 00:14:24,762
Are you serious?!
It's the AC Derby!
377
00:14:24,795 --> 00:14:26,431
Sorry, Mark. He doesn't
want a race.
378
00:14:26,465 --> 00:14:28,503
I'm not gonna let Steve do
him like that no more.
379
00:14:28,603 --> 00:14:30,741
Alright, well. You're really
screwing us over here, Hank.
380
00:14:30,774 --> 00:14:32,812
We need this. C'mon!
Yeah. Well, I don't.
381
00:14:32,878 --> 00:14:34,014
And he's my horse, too.
382
00:14:34,114 --> 00:14:35,985
Alright. Hank,
I know you don't like
383
00:14:36,018 --> 00:14:38,456
how Steve treats him.
I get that, I don't either.
384
00:14:38,523 --> 00:14:41,663
But this horse has a chance
to be a champion.
385
00:14:41,730 --> 00:14:42,865
And we may never--
386
00:14:43,165 --> 00:14:45,103
and he may never get
that chance again.
387
00:14:45,303 --> 00:14:48,375
Just one more race and
we're done. I promise.
388
00:14:49,111 --> 00:14:51,248
Fine. One more race.
389
00:14:51,315 --> 00:14:53,285
Aw. Thanks, bud.
I appreciate it.
390
00:14:53,319 --> 00:14:55,456
But I'm gonna ride him.
Not Steve.
391
00:14:55,557 --> 00:14:57,862
No, no, no. What? Wait,
no-- Absolutely not, okay.
392
00:14:57,962 --> 00:14:59,866
You saw how slow that
horse was without Steve.
393
00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:02,070
You don't have to be mean
to make him run fast.
394
00:15:02,103 --> 00:15:04,942
You could also be nice,
like giving them rewards
395
00:15:05,009 --> 00:15:07,180
instead of
insults and whips and stuff.
396
00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:09,284
Aw c'mon, dude.
There's a lot riding on this.
397
00:15:09,351 --> 00:15:11,590
Right now I'm the only
one riding on this.
398
00:15:11,790 --> 00:15:13,125
Let's go, boy.
399
00:15:13,928 --> 00:15:15,897
Alright. Fine. Fine.
400
00:15:16,699 --> 00:15:19,605
We own this horse together,
and if that's what you want,
401
00:15:19,705 --> 00:15:20,707
I accept it.
402
00:15:20,707 --> 00:15:21,809
Wait. Really?
403
00:15:21,909 --> 00:15:22,978
Really.
404
00:15:23,412 --> 00:15:25,216
I'm trusting you here,
though, bud.
405
00:15:25,249 --> 00:15:28,156
Hey, Hoagie Jones. We got
one more race to do, okay?
406
00:15:28,256 --> 00:15:31,328
But no mean Steve,
just you and me.
407
00:15:31,428 --> 00:15:32,463
Whaddya say?
408
00:15:32,965 --> 00:15:34,101
Alright, Hank. Let's move it.
409
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:35,436
Race starts in 20 minutes.
410
00:15:35,537 --> 00:15:36,840
Let's go, Hoagie Jones.
411
00:15:36,940 --> 00:15:37,975
Hya! Hya!
412
00:15:38,476 --> 00:15:41,582
Here we go, buddy.
Nice and fast.
413
00:15:43,419 --> 00:15:44,688
Oh, boy.
414
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:51,268
Turns out, he wasn't saying my
ex was in Provence,
415
00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:53,573
He was from Aix-en-Provence.
416
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:56,580
I'll never make that
mistake again. Hahaha.
417
00:15:56,613 --> 00:15:59,753
Oh, my god, that is rich.
418
00:15:59,853 --> 00:16:01,757
Oh, anyways, this painting...
419
00:16:01,890 --> 00:16:02,992
Yes, are you a collector?
420
00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:04,662
Oh, yeah. Big collector.
421
00:16:04,728 --> 00:16:06,265
Looks like an Andrew Wyeth.
422
00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:08,002
Yeah, y'know it probably is.
423
00:16:08,202 --> 00:16:09,839
I have so many paintings.
I can't even
424
00:16:09,939 --> 00:16:11,341
tell 'em apart anymore.
425
00:16:11,408 --> 00:16:13,847
I got 'em all
over my mansions.
426
00:16:14,047 --> 00:16:15,382
So, you wanna buy it?
427
00:16:15,416 --> 00:16:17,588
I'll give it to you
for a thousand bucks.
428
00:16:17,688 --> 00:16:19,024
Does that include the frame?
429
00:16:19,124 --> 00:16:20,359
Sure, why not.
430
00:16:20,393 --> 00:16:21,729
Alright. Deal.
431
00:16:22,430 --> 00:16:26,739
Yoo-hoo, I just tripled my
profit on the painting.
432
00:16:26,773 --> 00:16:28,109
Told you was worth something.
433
00:16:28,242 --> 00:16:30,915
At least we won't come
away total losers today.
434
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:32,250
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll see.
435
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:35,658
Hey, Mark. Uh, is that
Hank on that horse there?
436
00:16:35,758 --> 00:16:37,895
Uh... Yep.
- Oh, boy.
437
00:16:37,928 --> 00:16:39,699
Yo, uh...
Let me make another bet.
438
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,135
You want in on this, Mark?
439
00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:43,907
Nah, I'm good. I'm
gonna ride this one out.
440
00:16:44,007 --> 00:16:45,309
C'mon, Hank.
441
00:16:45,443 --> 00:16:48,616
You got this, dude.
You got this. The hell?
442
00:16:50,319 --> 00:16:53,226
Here you go, boy! Get excited!
We're gonna have fun today.
443
00:16:53,326 --> 00:16:55,330
The faster you run,
the more treats you get.
444
00:16:55,330 --> 00:16:57,835
You do know that's gonna
give it some serious gas.
445
00:16:57,868 --> 00:17:01,408
Nah, it's okay. We got it under
control. Ain't that right, boy?
446
00:17:05,116 --> 00:17:07,454
Argh!
Hey there, Hank.
447
00:17:07,588 --> 00:17:09,692
Just got hooked up with
a real team.
448
00:17:09,692 --> 00:17:10,761
I hope you like my horse's ass,
449
00:17:10,828 --> 00:17:13,198
'cause you're gonna be
staring at the whole race, baby.
450
00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:15,236
Oh, okay.
Uh, good luck, I guess.
451
00:17:15,336 --> 00:17:17,173
Oh, I got all the luck I need.
452
00:17:17,206 --> 00:17:19,612
You see that smoking hot
brunette in the 2nd row there?
453
00:17:19,679 --> 00:17:22,718
That's my new girlfriend,
and she don't date losers.
454
00:17:22,884 --> 00:17:26,091
Yo, babe! I'm bringing it
home for you, sweetheart!
455
00:17:26,225 --> 00:17:28,596
You better!
I don't date losers!
456
00:17:28,696 --> 00:17:31,234
I-I-I know!
I was just telling him that.
457
00:17:31,368 --> 00:17:33,238
Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen,
458
00:17:33,405 --> 00:17:35,209
and welcome to the
Atlantic City Derby!
459
00:17:35,242 --> 00:17:36,144
The horses are ready.
460
00:17:36,478 --> 00:17:39,351
The crowd is buzzing and we're
all set for a spectacular race.
461
00:17:39,451 --> 00:17:41,790
Today's lineup includes
some of the finest.
462
00:17:41,790 --> 00:17:44,895
Cinnamon's Son, Beige Beauty,
Interstellar Medium,
463
00:17:44,995 --> 00:17:47,601
Jersey Peach, Hay Man
and Hoagie Jones.
464
00:17:47,701 --> 00:17:50,139
All eyes are on the track!
465
00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:51,977
And they're off!
466
00:17:52,043 --> 00:17:53,312
Hay Man takes an early lead,
467
00:17:53,346 --> 00:17:55,083
with Beige Beauty and
Interstellar Medium
468
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:57,220
hard on his heels.
Cinnamon's Son and Jersey
469
00:17:57,220 --> 00:18:00,493
Peach follow and Hoagie
Jones trails the pack.
470
00:18:00,527 --> 00:18:02,865
Here you go. You got this
boy! You're doing great!
471
00:18:02,965 --> 00:18:04,300
Come on, come on, come on.
472
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:07,307
Oh! And Hoagie Jones seems
to have entered another gear!
473
00:18:07,407 --> 00:18:09,712
He's picking up speed,
charging forward.
474
00:18:09,845 --> 00:18:10,981
He passes Cinnamon's Son,
475
00:18:11,181 --> 00:18:12,416
now Interstellar Medium!
476
00:18:12,483 --> 00:18:14,689
Hoagie Jones is flying
down the track.
477
00:18:14,755 --> 00:18:17,995
Now overtaking Jersey Peach
and Beige Beauty.
478
00:18:18,028 --> 00:18:20,066
This is a remarkable surge!
479
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,836
Ohh, you doing awesome, boy!
- Hya!
480
00:18:21,936 --> 00:18:24,374
It's neck and neck between
Hoagie Jones and Hay Man!
481
00:18:24,408 --> 00:18:26,111
The crowd is going
wild as these
482
00:18:26,111 --> 00:18:27,648
two contenders battle for
the lead.
483
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:30,687
What an incredible race we
have on our hands!
484
00:18:30,787 --> 00:18:31,689
Come on, you nitwit!
485
00:18:31,856 --> 00:18:34,060
You know they eat horses like
you in Mongolia?!
486
00:18:34,060 --> 00:18:36,298
Oh wow, Hoagie Jones!
You're so fast!
487
00:18:36,432 --> 00:18:38,302
Keep running, bud!
You got this!
488
00:18:38,435 --> 00:18:40,807
Ha! C'mon! C'mon!
Ha! Ha! Ha!
489
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,145
If you run any slower,
you'd be going backwards,
490
00:18:43,312 --> 00:18:45,482
you, moron!
Hya!
491
00:18:46,886 --> 00:18:47,888
Wait a second--
492
00:18:48,289 --> 00:18:52,798
Oh no, something appears to
be happening with Hay Man!
493
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:54,334
Hay Man rears up--
494
00:18:54,668 --> 00:18:56,304
and now Hay Man is
turning on him!
495
00:18:56,405 --> 00:18:58,175
Chaos on the track,
as Hay Man starts
496
00:18:58,275 --> 00:19:00,146
beating the jockey
with his hooves!
497
00:19:00,279 --> 00:19:03,052
Ugh! It's over, you loser!
498
00:19:03,152 --> 00:19:04,387
I'm sorry!
499
00:19:04,655 --> 00:19:07,193
Baby, oh, I'm sorry!
500
00:19:07,293 --> 00:19:10,032
Now Hoagie Jones is in sole
position of the lead.
501
00:19:10,099 --> 00:19:12,370
Oh! You're doing great,
Hoagie Jones!
502
00:19:12,605 --> 00:19:13,472
You having fun?
503
00:19:13,607 --> 00:19:15,409
What an unbelievable comeback!
504
00:19:15,577 --> 00:19:18,683
As Hoagie Jones all
but solidifies his vic--
505
00:19:18,916 --> 00:19:20,085
Whoa!
506
00:19:20,185 --> 00:19:22,223
Oh, my God!
507
00:19:22,658 --> 00:19:23,826
Oh, ooh!
508
00:19:28,870 --> 00:19:30,039
Hoagie Jones?
509
00:19:30,473 --> 00:19:34,047
Yo, Mark. Uh, I think your
horse, uh, just blew up.
510
00:19:34,180 --> 00:19:37,286
Ah, damnit! Forgot to
take the cork out.
511
00:19:46,305 --> 00:19:47,674
You alright there, bud?
512
00:19:47,975 --> 00:19:49,144
"Shoe."
513
00:19:49,344 --> 00:19:52,083
Listen, Hank.
I know how you feel.
514
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:55,991
Just sometimes horses,
they... just explode, you know?
515
00:19:56,024 --> 00:19:57,193
Happens to the best of us.
516
00:19:57,226 --> 00:19:59,865
I guess. Do you think
it's because I, uh
517
00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:03,238
fed him too many apples and
a whole box of Alka-Seltzer...
518
00:20:03,372 --> 00:20:06,680
Nah, no way. No way.
I talked to the, um...
519
00:20:06,780 --> 00:20:09,283
the horse autopsy guy.
He said that, uh...
520
00:20:09,384 --> 00:20:11,354
uh, the horse had
a genetic condition.
521
00:20:11,789 --> 00:20:13,660
Probably should have
exploded long time
522
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,231
ago, but actually beat
the odds because of
523
00:20:16,265 --> 00:20:19,471
how happy he was
in his last few... weeks.
524
00:20:19,505 --> 00:20:20,406
Really?
525
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:22,143
Oh, yeah. Oh,
absolutely. Big time.
526
00:20:22,276 --> 00:20:24,114
Oh, and I got a
little something for you.
527
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:25,183
Oh, what's this?
528
00:20:25,283 --> 00:20:27,253
300 shirts to remember him by.
529
00:20:27,287 --> 00:20:28,823
Aw. Thanks, Mark.
530
00:20:30,025 --> 00:20:31,060
How's Hank doing?
531
00:20:31,161 --> 00:20:31,962
Eh, he'll be fine.
532
00:20:32,263 --> 00:20:34,702
Well, I guess once you return
all those fancy suits,
533
00:20:34,802 --> 00:20:36,840
you'll break even on this
whole horse thing?
534
00:20:36,873 --> 00:20:37,775
Pfft! Are you kidding me?
535
00:20:37,808 --> 00:20:39,745
This is the best investment
I ever made.
536
00:20:39,846 --> 00:20:40,914
Ugh. Are you nuts?
537
00:20:41,014 --> 00:20:43,452
Horse insurance, baby!
Let's go!
538
00:20:45,891 --> 00:20:48,462
The cleanup efforts should wrap
up by tomorrow morning,
539
00:20:48,563 --> 00:20:50,767
but authorities warn the smell
of horse effluvia
540
00:20:50,801 --> 00:20:52,671
may linger for the
coming weeks.
541
00:20:52,771 --> 00:20:55,409
In related news,
the rich get richer as a real
542
00:20:55,409 --> 00:20:57,781
estate billionaire made a
whole lot of money at the
543
00:20:57,815 --> 00:21:00,887
A.C. Derby this weekend and
not by betting on the horses.
544
00:21:00,987 --> 00:21:03,693
She just offered me this sad,
crappy painting,
545
00:21:03,860 --> 00:21:05,898
but the frame is what
caught my eye.
546
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:10,440
It turns out it's 24 karat
gold and hand smithed
547
00:21:10,507 --> 00:21:14,047
by Renaissance-era sculptor
Benvenuto Cellini.
548
00:21:14,147 --> 00:21:15,851
Couldn't believe this lady just
549
00:21:15,951 --> 00:21:20,059
sold it to me for a thousand
bucks! Humhumhum.
550
00:21:20,159 --> 00:21:21,863
Experts say the prized frame
551
00:21:21,963 --> 00:21:24,802
could fetch up to three
million dollars at auction.
552
00:21:25,002 --> 00:21:26,972
Talk about a true hidden gem.
553
00:21:28,710 --> 00:21:30,580
Ooh holy--
42559
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