All language subtitles for Shameless S01E01 Pilot-eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:10,375 FRANK: Nobody's saying our neighborhood's the Garden of Eden. 2 00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:14,010 Hell, some people say God avoids this place altogether. 3 00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:18,765 But its been a good home to us, to me and my kids, who I'm proud of... 4 00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:23,687 ...because every single one of them reminds me a little bit of me. 5 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:29,852 Fiona, my rock, huge help, has all the best qualities of her mother... 6 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,863 -...except she's not a raging psycho bitch. -Blow. 7 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:36,776 FRANK: Lip, smart as a whip. Straight‘s and the honor roll. 8 00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:39,491 Boy's definitely going somewhere. 9 00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:41,781 [POLICE SIRENS WAILING] 10 00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,867 OFFICER: You, come back! Stop! 11 00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:50,377 FRANK: Ian, industrious, conscientious, ambitious, incredible work ethic. 12 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:54,385 Don't have a clue where he got that from. Wants to be a paratrooper. 13 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:59,515 Knows how to disembowel an enemy with a roll of dimes and an old gym sock. 14 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:03,935 Carl... Um, I don't really know that much about Carl. 15 00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:05,391 Oh, loves animals. 16 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:11,232 Always dragging home some poor stray he found, taking them up to his room. 17 00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:17,407 Ah, Debbie, sent by God, total angel. 18 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:22,493 Raises money for UNICEF year-round, some of which she actually turns in. 19 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,039 Liam, gonna be a star. 20 00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:30,170 I'm no biologist, but he looks a little bit like my first sponsor. 21 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:31,830 He and the ex were close. 22 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,842 Kev and Veronica, fantastic neighbors. 23 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:37,344 There's nothing they won't do for each other... 24 00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:39,922 ...or to each other. 25 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,591 That didn't hurt half as much as I thought it would. 26 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:45,010 FRANK: I never realized how little sex I was having... 27 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:47,770 ...till V and Kev moved next door. 28 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:52,526 And me, Frank Gallagher, father, teacher, mentor. 29 00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:54,277 Captain of our little ship. 30 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:58,612 We may not have much, but all of us, to a man... 31 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:02,118 ...knows the most important thing in this life: 32 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:06,699 We know how to fucking party. Wa-hal 33 00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:08,708 [POLICE SIRENS WAILING] 34 00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:09,959 Go! 35 00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:19,294 Fuck you, Pig! 36 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,010 COP 1: Let's go. 37 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:28,895 -Let's go, people. COP 2: Go home. Let's go. Out. 38 00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:44,782 FIONA: Seven fifteen, monkeys. Come on. 39 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,839 Seven fifteen. 40 00:02:57,010 --> 00:03:01,094 DEBBIE: "Oh, no. I fell down." 41 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:07,725 IAN: First shower. LIP: You had it yesterday. 42 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,637 Fuck! 43 00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:14,353 FIONA: Shit. 44 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,940 -Electric. LIP: Yeah. 45 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:24,241 IAN: Coming through. 46 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,374 Electric. 47 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,410 -Electric. -E|electric. 48 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:36,500 No, you got a Happy Meal on the front of that shirt, 49 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:38,336 Field trip. Need Dad's signature. 50 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,626 DEBBIE: Okay. FIONA: Arms up. 51 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:47,014 LIP: Deb, that's getting really good. FIONA: Who's got the phone? 52 00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:48,846 LIP: I got it. FIONA: Any minutes left? 53 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:50,976 Uh, fourteen. 54 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,393 DEBBIE: Hey, I need something for show-and-te||. 55 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,230 FIONA: How much are we short? -Eighteen dollars, thirty cents. 56 00:03:57,404 --> 00:04:00,396 LIP: I'm tutoring after school. Should be able to kick in 10 more. 57 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:03,065 Wait, did Carl put in any? 58 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,326 You're almost 9, you're gonna have to start pulling your weight. 59 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:10,865 And get a real job, not just dipping into the collection plate at St. Tim's. 60 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:13,283 I'm filling in for Candi. I can cover the rest. 61 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,243 -Extra kraut on mine. IAN: Cheese on mine. 62 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:18,755 -Somebody's gotta take Liam. -Uh, I got a calculus test. 63 00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:20,541 I'm working after school. 64 00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:25,754 Show-and-tell? 65 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:30,009 Show them the birthmark on his back. It looks like Latvia. 66 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,900 Hey, that's my fucking bike! 67 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:01,623 WOMAN: No Candi again? -Bobby's got a bail hearing. 68 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:04,635 That kid's gonna be the death of her. What is it this time? 69 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,137 Tried tagging a cop car with the cop still in it. 70 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,468 -What? -Who's got the jumbo dog? 71 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,258 How'd you know? 72 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,677 X-ray vision. 73 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,892 Hey, would you tap that ass? 74 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:21,686 Once, ifl double bagged it. Project girls don't abort. 75 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:44,124 Hi. I'm here to help Karen study for her midterm. 76 00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:47,051 okay- 77 00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:49,178 You'll have to take your shoes off. 78 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:53,850 -What? -l'll get you a plastic bag. 79 00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:02,608 Here you go. 80 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:06,401 KAREN: She's got this thing about people bringing dirt in the house. 81 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:09,824 -Melissomophobia. -Oh, right. 82 00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:12,987 MAN [ON TV]: Ilike that with the candle. WOMAN: Yeah. 83 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:19,125 Okay, so if you remember it like this, the formula's completely visible. 84 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:23,793 Okay. Midget naked witch is bending over... 85 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:28,336 ...and she's crying because she lost one ear and she can't find it. 86 00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,138 How do you know all this? 87 00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:34,971 Just something I like to fool around with. 88 00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:36,260 Like a hobby? 89 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:38,683 No, more like a plan. 90 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:40,639 -Physics? -Yeah, yeah. 91 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,684 Have you done Newton's first? I've got a great one for that. 92 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:46,319 Everybody continues... 93 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:52,826 ...in a state of rest or uniform motion... 94 00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:58,207 ...un|ess acted upon by an external force. 95 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:03,419 Uh, hang on. Karen, I'm-- 96 00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:08,713 I'm still gonna have to charge you for this. 97 00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,510 Charge me? 98 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,296 Yeah, this isn't charity. I get paid for tutoring. 99 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:18,052 I know. Science just turns me on. 100 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,476 okay- 101 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,959 LIP: Jesus. 102 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:52,260 FIONA: Lip, you in there? Lip? LIP: Yup. 103 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,671 -Can I borrow your deodorant? LIP: I'm using Ian's. 104 00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:57,682 If I stick this in the wash before I go, keep an eye on it? 105 00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,717 -Do it tomorrow. -It stinks in here. 106 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:01,477 LIP: Sorry, there's a shirt I need. 107 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,560 Fiona. We need to go if we're gonna get a ride to the club. 108 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,225 FIONA: Five minutes. -Look at me. 109 00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:08,940 This has gotta go back tomorrow. 110 00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:11,605 -I'll put it back on later. I have a tag gun. -What? 111 00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:13,774 From when I worked at T.J. Maxx. Let's go. 112 00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:15,488 FIONA: Hot dogs downstairs. Nachos too. 113 00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,994 -Have fun. VERONICA: Bye, lovely. 114 00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,811 IAN: Hey, Veronica. 115 00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:59,118 116 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,367 [ON SPEAKERS] She won't ever get enough 117 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,160 Once she gets a little touch 118 00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:10,455 lfl had it my way You know that I'd make her say 119 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:13,299 Ooh 120 00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,924 Ooh 121 00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:21,553 I said no more sailors And no more soldiers 122 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:25,437 With your name in a heart Tattooed upon their shoulders 123 00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:28,474 Kisses like whiskey It gets me drunk 124 00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,401 --in the morning With the taste of your tongue 125 00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:35,568 In the back of the car On the way to the bar 126 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:39,951 My purse! Fuck! My purse. That bastard took my purse. 127 00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:45,664 [SCREAMS] 128 00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:49,995 She won't ever get enough Once she gets a little touch 129 00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:54,212 Shit. Hey! Hey! 130 00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:56,501 Asshole! 131 00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,464 Ah! SONY- 132 00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,633 That was fucking incredible. 133 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:06,686 Truly, honestly, one of the most heroic things I've ever seen. Did you see him? 134 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:09,814 -Yeah. -Stupid, but, man, heroic. 135 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,975 Steve. My name is Steve. 136 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:15,691 Uh, I was gonna offer to buy you a drink anyway. 137 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,901 VERONICA: Oh. She'll take a drink. 138 00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:22,361 -Hey, where do you think you're going? -Are you serious? 139 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:24,905 -Where's his stamp? -Can you believe this joker’? 140 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:27,574 If you were doing yourjob, he wouldn't have had to. 141 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,459 -No stamp, no re-entry. -Is he for real? 142 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,379 Fat prick. 143 00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:36,090 -Fine. You're all barred. -For what? 144 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:38,217 -Drugs. -What? 145 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:40,424 He probably let him get away, he knows him. 146 00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,930 -Shut up, skank. -Watch your mouth. 147 00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:47,060 -Or you're gonna do what? FIONA: Okay, forget it. Please, forget it. 148 00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:51,439 Okay, come on. Let's get a cab. Thank you. Come on. 149 00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,192 WOMAN: Oh, shit! 150 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:09,123 DRIVER: Hey, watch it! 151 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,246 VERONICA: Hey, fucker! 152 00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,497 You motherfucker! 153 00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:33,014 Got a hummer today. 154 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,647 What's the law on sex with pets? 155 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,357 From Karen Jackson. 156 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,110 -No way. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 157 00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:45,277 She got a C in physics, needed a B. 158 00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:51,454 Yeah, you wouldn't have waited this long to tell me. 159 00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:52,993 Oh, five hours. 160 00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:56,834 -Okay, you're full of shit. -Fuck you. 161 00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:01,213 You ever have a knob-job? 162 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:05,805 -Once or twice. LIP: Ah. Wow. 163 00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:09,680 I didn't hear you rushing to tell me. 164 00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,640 Yeah, well.... 165 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:17,354 I mean, I thought we tell each other everything. 166 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,482 Unless... 167 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,198 ...you got sucked off by a guy. 168 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,294 For instance. 169 00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:40,920 VERONICA: No way, Lake Forest? Lake Forest is not Chicago. 170 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,630 [VERONICA LAUGHS] 171 00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:44,385 FIONA: I'm not kidding, Steve. 172 00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:48,139 You are dead if he ever lays eyes on you. And I mean dead. 173 00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:52,348 I nearly peed myself when you hit him. Well, I did a little. 174 00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:55,600 -Hey. LIP: Hi. 175 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,015 How many of you live here? 176 00:12:57,193 --> 00:13:00,105 Not me, I'm one down. But the guy next door died in March... 177 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,612 ...which technically makes us next-door neighbors. 178 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,238 -You're a nurse? VERONICA: Used to be. 179 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:05,489 Lying bitch. 180 00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,491 She worked housekeeping at Cook County. 181 00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:09,448 -Bedpans and shit sheets. VERONICA: Fine... 182 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:12,079 ...but I was offered a place in the nursing school. 183 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,911 Fine, but it never happened. 184 00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:16,872 They fired her for selling medical supplies on eBay. 185 00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,037 -Shut up. We don't even know him. -Steve. 186 00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:22,040 187 00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:24,550 -Debbie. -How you doing, Debbie? 188 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:27,428 -Nice watch. -Thanks. Panerai. 189 00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:29,759 What'd that set you back about, six bills? 190 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:34,352 -Plus Ian. STEVE: Hey. 191 00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:38,769 -Hey, Debbie, why do they call him Lip? -His real name's Phillip. 192 00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:42,606 Yo, Veronica. You got my keys? 193 00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:45,688 -What's going on here? -This is Steve. 194 00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:48,324 Decked the bouncer at Purgatory to defend my honor. 195 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,819 -My honor. -Yeah? Which bouncer’? 196 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:53,329 Jimmy Clifton. 197 00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:57,496 Jimmy Cl»-? Well, Jesus, man, put it there. Respect. 198 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,956 Guy just stands there. Doesn't really do any~ 199 00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:04,295 Yeah, you'll be his third conviction. Third or fourth. Fourth, yeah. 200 00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:05,800 After that much practice... 201 00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:08,803 ...you'd think the man would have manslaughter down by now. 202 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:11,430 No more fuck-ups like leaving his dad breathing. 203 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:13,011 -His dad? KEVIN: Yeah. 204 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:17,771 Five years over an '87 Monte Carlo with 200,000 miles on the odometer. 205 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,805 A fucking Monte Carlo. 206 00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:22,896 -Okay, time for bed. Up the wooden hill. CARL: It's not even midnight. 207 00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:24,277 DEBBIE: Oh, man. -Come on, go. 208 00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:25,527 -Already? LIP: Shut up. 209 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,314 Move, move, move. Come on. 210 00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:33,533 Yeah, let me just take one last look at you while you're still alive. Ha-ha! 211 00:14:33,748 --> 00:14:34,988 Here. 212 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:44,581 -What, that's his? -Yeah. Well, company car. 213 00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,841 What kind of company? 214 00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:48,342 Internet startup. 215 00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:53,009 Earning what? 216 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,636 A couple mil a year. 217 00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:56,634 High school dropout. 218 00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:59,429 Got a job as a janitor in this small tech firm... 219 00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:03,483 ...within a year, he owned it. Made his first billion by 20. 220 00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:06,144 Two jets, controlling interest in the Red Wings... 221 00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:11,066 ...10,000 employees kissing his ass. "Yes, boss. No, boss." 222 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:14,202 Why shouldn't he ride around in style? 223 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:21,409 Oh, you just made that up. 224 00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:24,875 What--? Why do you do that? 225 00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:27,711 -Your face. -How is that funny? It's not even funny. 226 00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:31,173 How the fuck would I know how much he earns, you twisted dumb prick? 227 00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:35,056 -I'm not a dumb prick. -Kevin, ljust met the guy an hour ago. 228 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:36,466 Take back "dumb prick." 229 00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:39,849 Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Veronica. What's your pre-tax income? 230 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:43,230 You sure didn't mind watching him take his shirt off now, did you? 231 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:46,313 Not one bit. In fact, if you hadn't walked in... 232 00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:49,695 ...Fiona and I were gonna knock him down and tag-team him. 233 00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:52,608 Now I guess I'm stuck with you. 234 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,651 Hold on. 235 00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,535 The Fiona tag team, is that an option? 236 00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,788 [BOTH LAUGHING] 237 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,199 Because, you know, you could throw that.... 238 00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:04,414 VERONICA: Anytime you like it too. -I'll do it, all right. 239 00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:14,383 All quiet up the wooden hill? 240 00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:17,222 As quiet as it ever gets. 241 00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:20,468 Straight answer, if I hadn't busted my skull for you... 242 00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:22,432 ...would you have looked at me twice? 243 00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:24,222 Who's saying that I looked twice? 244 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,732 Oh, you did, then? 245 00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:33,610 -What? -We can't. 246 00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:41,329 Ninety percent of the world's problems... 247 00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:44,038 ...are caused by tiny words that come in pairs. 248 00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:48,462 I mean, we're healthy and we're happy, but when people ask, we say: 249 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,797 "Not bad." 250 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:55,591 You know, the first time that I saw you dancing... 251 00:16:55,765 --> 00:17:01,977 ...about a month back at Crobar, I was desperate to buy you a drink. 252 00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:05,520 You know, normally I'm shy, so I told myself: 253 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:12,233 ''I can't. She won't. We wouldn't.'' 254 00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:15,944 And then tonight, I see you there again. 255 00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:20,571 All the indications being that I'm getting a second chance... 256 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,826 ...to make a good impression. 257 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,618 Tell me to stop and I'll stop. 258 00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:39,843 Slower, slower, slower. 259 00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:41,507 Slower. 260 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:50,024 Slower. Slower. 261 00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:04,742 [GASPS] 262 00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:31,433 -Ah! Ow, ow, ow! -Almost. Almost. 263 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,351 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 264 00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,943 TONY: Fiona? -Shit, shit, shit. 265 00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:42,614 TONY: Fiona. FIONA: Fuck. 266 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,112 Shit. 267 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,540 TONY: Fiona, are you home? 268 00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:57,375 ls Fiona in? 269 00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:00,298 She's upstairs. 270 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:02,547 Ahem. 271 00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:06,676 I'll go get her. 272 00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:12,690 -Oh! -Yeah, cops looking for you. 273 00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,984 Stay here. 274 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,696 DEBBIE: Liam. Liam. 275 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:26,530 FRANK: You-- You think you can't be-- 276 00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:31,918 You think little guys can't be fucking faulting you»- 277 00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:34,875 I wouldn't put him near a carpet till his pants dry a bit. 278 00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:36,414 -Thanks, Tony. FRANK: Nice. 279 00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,503 TONY: See you, Fiona. 280 00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:42,427 Who the hell is that? 281 00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:46,257 My dad. 282 00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,650 STEVE: You just leave him there all night? 283 00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:59,444 He's never there when I get up. 284 00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:06,785 So who's the little guy? Liam? 285 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,581 Liam's my brother. 286 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:25,675 [MOUTHS] Fuck. 287 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,765 [CAR ALARM BEEPS] 288 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,554 Rita. 289 00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:15,638 Anne's school called, she's sick. Everything up to 204 is clean. 290 00:21:15,816 --> 00:21:18,398 -I should be back in a couple hours. -RauI won't care? 291 00:21:18,569 --> 00:21:21,185 He smoked his lunch again. He won't even know. 292 00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:23,695 I'm making tamales tonight. I'll drop off a dozen. 293 00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:24,901 okay- 294 00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:26,110 [RITA SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 295 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:29,027 -And take all the toilet paper you need. -Okay. 296 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:34,787 You ready, big man? Let's do it. Come on, here we go. 297 00:21:41,425 --> 00:21:45,964 Kevin, did you miss me, dear? A beer and a bump, and.... 298 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,845 Billy, you having one? Have one. 299 00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:50,472 [CHUCKLING] 300 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,474 Go away, Frank. 301 00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:56,558 A pen, Mr. Beerkeep. It is disability day. 302 00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,814 Disability people haven't caught up with you yet? 303 00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:02,852 I thought they had some guy following you around with a camera. 304 00:22:03,072 --> 00:22:06,064 They can follow me around all they want to... 305 00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:11,077 ...but they have to actually catch me doing something. 306 00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:17,575 -What's with the crowd? -Layoff at the Chrysler plant. 307 00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:20,916 You see? That's the problem with working. 308 00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:25,003 Too much instability. Stress. 309 00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:30,887 What the fuck is this? 310 00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:33,887 What's left, after I settled out last month's bar tab. 311 00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:35,426 Ohh.... 312 00:22:36,146 --> 00:22:38,683 Better start a new one, then. Oh! 313 00:22:39,108 --> 00:22:41,941 And a round for all my friends from the UAW. 314 00:22:42,111 --> 00:22:43,191 WOMAN: Yeah. 315 00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:44,818 [PATRONS CHEERING] 316 00:22:45,114 --> 00:22:47,196 Wow, really? 317 00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:48,606 Fuck, no. 318 00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:03,458 [KNOCKS ON DOOR] 319 00:23:11,307 --> 00:23:12,922 STEVE: Hi. 320 00:23:13,976 --> 00:23:16,217 Wondering what your scheduIe's like on Friday. 321 00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:20,266 Uh, I've got a party. 322 00:23:20,441 --> 00:23:22,773 -Want a chaperone? -You're not eligible. 323 00:23:22,943 --> 00:23:24,353 Right. Chick thing? 324 00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:30,193 -You're not that desperate. -Wanting to see you again's desperate? 325 00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:32,858 No, feeling like you have to, that's desperate. 326 00:23:33,037 --> 00:23:35,198 Come on. You can get laid anywhere. 327 00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:39,703 -Oh, so I'm only here for a fuck? -Never crossed your mind? 328 00:23:40,169 --> 00:23:42,581 Just when you think you've collared your dream girl... 329 00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:46,168 ...her incontinent, alcoholic father appears, wrecks everything... 330 00:23:46,342 --> 00:23:47,548 ...and she's blaming you? 331 00:23:47,718 --> 00:23:51,802 Your dream girl? We had drunken sex on my kitchen floor. 332 00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:55,089 Quit pretending you don't even know me. You weren't that drunk. 333 00:23:56,226 --> 00:23:59,434 -Hey, it's Phillip. -Hey, it's dead man walking. 334 00:23:59,605 --> 00:24:01,345 Jimmy Clifton called today looking for you. 335 00:24:01,523 --> 00:24:03,935 STEVE: No school? -Nah, I got some teeth pulled today. 336 00:24:04,109 --> 00:24:05,690 -Wisdom teeth? -Sugar rot. 337 00:24:05,861 --> 00:24:09,024 Ah. Little-known fact: Don't just chew your food on one side. 338 00:24:09,198 --> 00:24:12,361 It can buckle yourjaw which will buckle your hips and affect your posture. 339 00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:13,694 -That's a fact? -Skeletal fact. 340 00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:15,234 LIP’ 341 00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:16,492 [MOUTHS] Fuck off. 342 00:24:16,705 --> 00:24:19,868 Hey, talk out of your ass with that much conviction... 343 00:24:20,042 --> 00:24:25,378 ...you end up needing a much bigger toothbrush. That's an anal fact. 344 00:24:28,801 --> 00:24:30,041 [DRYER RA'I'|'L|NG] 345 00:24:30,219 --> 00:24:34,758 Listen, thank you for trying to get my purse back and stuff. 346 00:24:35,265 --> 00:24:37,551 -Stuff? -I'm not looking. 347 00:24:37,977 --> 00:24:40,218 Not right now. 348 00:24:43,065 --> 00:24:47,434 Okay. Is it all right if! leave my number for when you might be? 349 00:24:50,739 --> 00:24:51,728 LIP: Relax, okay? IAN: No. 350 00:24:51,907 --> 00:24:55,149 -No, no, no. You're gonna like it. -What am I even gonna say? 351 00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:57,739 You just gotta keep talking about science. 352 00:24:57,913 --> 00:24:59,653 I don't know anything about science. 353 00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:02,790 Okay, so just read from the table of elements. 354 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,747 Cerium, erbium, praseodymium. 355 00:25:12,386 --> 00:25:14,377 -Mrs. Jackson. -Ohh! 356 00:25:14,555 --> 00:25:19,891 Karen is thrilled with you. She got an A on her physics midterm. 357 00:25:20,060 --> 00:25:23,803 Karen. Honey, your little helper is here. 358 00:25:23,981 --> 00:25:26,188 -This is my brother, Ian. -Um.... 359 00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:29,733 I'm out of plastic bags. Why don't you leave your shoes out here... 360 00:25:29,903 --> 00:25:32,110 -...where they can breathe? -Sure. 361 00:25:35,409 --> 00:25:40,529 IAN: Erbium, cerium, praseodymium, magnesium-- 362 00:25:40,706 --> 00:25:44,745 You kids want some homemade lime chicken chimichangas? 363 00:25:44,918 --> 00:25:47,580 -No, thanks, Sheila. I think we're fine. -No? All right. 364 00:25:48,297 --> 00:25:52,791 Praseodymium, uh, magnesium, suIfur-- 365 00:25:52,968 --> 00:25:55,801 EDDIE: All right. I'm off to work. 366 00:25:56,472 --> 00:25:58,178 Oh, hey, fellas. 367 00:25:58,348 --> 00:26:00,009 Where's Karen? 368 00:26:00,184 --> 00:26:01,219 Her room, I think. 369 00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:05,056 Google Earth for a GPS reference on where Isaac Newton was born. 370 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,182 SHEILA: Guess what I made for your lunch. 371 00:26:09,443 --> 00:26:12,901 -Cornish game hen with Asian pear? -No. 372 00:26:13,072 --> 00:26:17,441 -Wild salmon with baby carrots? -No. 373 00:26:17,659 --> 00:26:20,617 Kiss and I'll tell. 374 00:26:21,497 --> 00:26:24,489 I'll find out what I got when I open the damn box, all right? 375 00:26:41,975 --> 00:26:45,843 I'm late, Karen, honey. I guess I'll see you in the morning. 376 00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:51,769 What's she hiding for? 377 00:26:54,279 --> 00:26:56,565 What are you hiding for? 378 00:26:58,867 --> 00:27:00,107 Oh, sweet Jesus. 379 00:27:06,917 --> 00:27:08,873 No! 380 00:27:24,393 --> 00:27:27,135 It's just a study group. 381 00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:29,894 Oh, honey. 382 00:27:30,399 --> 00:27:31,514 He caught Lip. 383 00:27:36,155 --> 00:27:39,488 The further you run, the more I will kill you! 384 00:27:52,254 --> 00:27:54,040 Really? An old lady on the train? 385 00:27:54,214 --> 00:27:56,580 Oh, yeah, the doors were closing on her walker. 386 00:27:56,758 --> 00:27:58,498 Lip barely got his foot in in time to stop-- 387 00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:00,167 Owl Jesus, Fiona. 388 00:28:00,345 --> 00:28:02,677 I can't remember whether that's good or bad. 389 00:28:02,848 --> 00:28:05,635 More likely you jumped the turnstiles and he twisted it... 390 00:28:05,809 --> 00:28:09,222 -...trying to outrun the transit cops. -No. Always elevate extremities. 391 00:28:09,438 --> 00:28:11,474 Move before you give him a fucking embolism. 392 00:28:11,648 --> 00:28:13,639 -You okay, Lip? -Please, don't touch it. 393 00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:16,024 Okay. Wiggle your toes. 394 00:28:16,195 --> 00:28:17,230 [LIP GRUNTS] 395 00:28:17,404 --> 00:28:19,645 Go to my house, top of the freezer. Two ice packs. 396 00:28:19,823 --> 00:28:23,691 Second cupboard above the sink, liquid ibuprofen, freeze spray, Ace bandages. 397 00:28:23,869 --> 00:28:25,075 Should we get it x-rayed? 398 00:28:25,245 --> 00:28:28,578 No, you'll be in the ER forever. For what? "Sub-metatarsal hematoma." 399 00:28:28,749 --> 00:28:31,286 Tell us something we didn't know five hours ago. 400 00:28:31,460 --> 00:28:33,121 -My bedroom, top of the TV. -Yeah? 401 00:28:33,295 --> 00:28:35,456 Pack of smokes and the lighter. Okay. 402 00:28:35,631 --> 00:28:36,791 [KNOCKS ON DOOR] 403 00:28:36,965 --> 00:28:41,584 LIP: Shit. I'm not here. I'm not here. IAN: You don't know us. Fiona. 404 00:28:41,762 --> 00:28:46,005 Oh, what have you done? What have you done? 405 00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:57,600 Can I get it through here or is it better around the back? 406 00:28:58,028 --> 00:28:59,188 Samsung washer. 407 00:29:00,113 --> 00:29:01,899 It's not me. 408 00:29:02,074 --> 00:29:05,441 -Gallagher, number 2119? -Yeah, but that's not ours. 409 00:29:05,619 --> 00:29:08,577 Well, it's paid for. You want me to hook it up or not? 410 00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:26,427 KEVIN: Where you going with those? 411 00:29:28,183 --> 00:29:31,516 -Veronica wants them. -Well, give me one. 412 00:29:56,670 --> 00:29:57,876 [ALARM PLAYS] 413 00:29:58,046 --> 00:30:00,537 Oh, oh Everybody say oh, oh 414 00:30:04,386 --> 00:30:10,427 Got it? Okay. Ice and Advil. And keep your weight off of it. 415 00:30:11,351 --> 00:30:15,060 -I thought you were broke. -That's what I said. 416 00:30:15,439 --> 00:30:16,975 These were in the washer. 417 00:30:19,109 --> 00:30:22,101 -"Steve"? No. -Yeah. Uh-huh. 418 00:30:22,279 --> 00:30:25,112 -Who's Steve? -The other night. 419 00:30:25,282 --> 00:30:28,194 -No. -I know. 420 00:30:32,789 --> 00:30:37,283 Fifteen years. Fifteen years. I've done everything in my control. 421 00:30:37,461 --> 00:30:41,295 What did I say? What did I tell you? Sow and thou shall reap. 422 00:30:41,465 --> 00:30:43,922 She didn't reap this from me, I'll tell you that. 423 00:30:44,092 --> 00:30:47,255 Reap what? What are you reaping now? 424 00:30:47,429 --> 00:30:52,594 Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. Whatever it is, I'll try. I'll really try. 425 00:30:52,768 --> 00:30:57,478 Mom, don't beg him. If he can do this, then the bastard's not worth it! 426 00:30:57,647 --> 00:31:00,309 Hey, you honor thy father. 427 00:31:00,484 --> 00:31:01,769 Get fucked! 428 00:31:01,943 --> 00:31:04,855 Don't try blaming me for this. 429 00:31:05,405 --> 00:31:07,817 You're your own worst enemy, you two. 430 00:31:07,991 --> 00:31:13,361 They say bad things happen in three. They don't. Twos. You two. 431 00:31:14,623 --> 00:31:16,955 Insane. 432 00:31:27,052 --> 00:31:29,134 STEVE [OVER PHONE]: Hello? -How much you pay for it? 433 00:31:29,304 --> 00:31:31,465 I'm not telling you that. It's a gift. 434 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:34,473 So you'd remember the phone number, which obviously worked. 435 00:31:34,643 --> 00:31:36,850 Your washer's in the yard. We don't need it. 436 00:31:37,020 --> 00:31:39,602 So you gotta come pick it up before it starts rusting. 437 00:31:39,773 --> 00:31:40,808 Oh, is it? 438 00:31:42,275 --> 00:31:43,685 No. 439 00:31:43,860 --> 00:31:45,020 Did the guy connect it? 440 00:31:46,822 --> 00:31:48,358 Yes. 441 00:31:48,532 --> 00:31:50,989 -it's working okay? -It's not my favorite color. 442 00:31:51,493 --> 00:31:53,484 Oh, so you've tried it. 443 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,842 Let me smell your breath. 444 00:32:12,347 --> 00:32:13,382 -Pork rinds? -No. 445 00:32:13,974 --> 00:32:15,214 -Those are mine. -See? 446 00:32:15,392 --> 00:32:17,553 And since when do pork rinds come from a pig? 447 00:32:17,727 --> 00:32:20,844 Ian, I sign your check. What's bad for him is really bad for you. 448 00:32:21,022 --> 00:32:22,808 If you start lying for him»- 449 00:32:22,983 --> 00:32:25,975 They're just corn chips with fake hair. Fake corn, even. 450 00:32:26,194 --> 00:32:29,152 Get yourself to that mosque so your dad stops blaming me... 451 00:32:29,322 --> 00:32:32,485 ...for the fact that we're going to hell, and talk to your mother. 452 00:32:32,701 --> 00:32:35,408 She won't talk to me. I can't force her to take her meds. 453 00:32:35,579 --> 00:32:38,195 I don't want the cops dragging me out of bed at 4 a.m... 454 00:32:38,373 --> 00:32:41,285 ...because she's yelling that the CIA is stealing her trash. 455 00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:42,916 But that happened, didn't it? 456 00:32:44,337 --> 00:32:46,328 Once, four years ago, yes. 457 00:32:46,506 --> 00:32:50,090 But now she's locked in the basement making a helmet out of tinfoil. 458 00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:53,923 Enough's enough. Boys, let's go. Get in the car. I have to take the boys... 459 00:32:54,097 --> 00:32:57,305 ...to Cub Scouts at the mosque before all the carpets are taken. 460 00:32:57,476 --> 00:32:59,967 She's your mother, get her to take her Thorazine. 461 00:33:00,145 --> 00:33:03,558 No. Boys, no candy. Come on, let's go. We're gonna be late. Go, go, go. 462 00:33:03,732 --> 00:33:04,767 No more. 463 00:33:06,234 --> 00:33:08,475 Come. We're gonna be late. Hurry up. 464 00:33:36,723 --> 00:33:39,590 [FRANK SNORING] 465 00:33:41,937 --> 00:33:47,022 Just tell me you didn't go and get some girl pregnant. 466 00:33:47,484 --> 00:33:49,440 No worries. 467 00:33:50,779 --> 00:33:52,610 He hates me. 468 00:33:53,365 --> 00:33:56,528 You just look more like Mom than any of the rest of us. 469 00:33:56,701 --> 00:33:57,816 You probably scare him. 470 00:33:58,453 --> 00:34:00,239 -Oh, yeah? -Yeah. 471 00:34:00,413 --> 00:34:01,653 He ain't seen nothing yet. 472 00:34:03,917 --> 00:34:06,875 -He give you money for the field trip? -l'll pay my own way. 473 00:34:08,338 --> 00:34:10,294 No, you won't. 474 00:34:19,558 --> 00:34:21,048 [IAN CHUCKLES] 475 00:34:25,981 --> 00:34:29,098 You must get sick of having to think for everybody. 476 00:34:29,359 --> 00:34:32,851 At least I can. Proves I'm wanted. 477 00:34:34,531 --> 00:34:36,317 Jesus, Fiona. 478 00:34:36,491 --> 00:34:40,825 If all you want is to be needed, then congratulations. 479 00:34:40,996 --> 00:34:44,659 You got yourself a job for life with this joker. 480 00:35:09,399 --> 00:35:12,482 Hey, get up. 481 00:35:14,070 --> 00:35:16,857 Dad, gel UP> 482 00:35:17,073 --> 00:35:18,984 Get up! 483 00:35:38,511 --> 00:35:40,923 "Good job, Fiona. 484 00:35:41,181 --> 00:35:44,014 I don't know how I could do this without you. 485 00:35:44,184 --> 00:35:46,891 Thanks for all your hard work." 486 00:35:50,190 --> 00:35:52,397 You're welcome, Dad. 487 00:35:54,903 --> 00:35:55,983 My pleasure. 488 00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:00,488 [FIONA srer-rs] 489 00:36:34,275 --> 00:36:36,561 Good night, Daddy. 490 00:36:47,622 --> 00:36:49,908 [LINE RINGING] 491 00:36:50,083 --> 00:36:51,198 STEVE: Hello ? 492 00:36:51,376 --> 00:36:53,492 If that wasn't bullshit, what was I wearing? 493 00:36:53,670 --> 00:36:55,752 First time you saw me, if that wasn't a lie. 494 00:36:57,215 --> 00:37:01,504 Black top with gold trim, black shiny jeans... 495 00:37:01,678 --> 00:37:04,385 ...thin shoes, straps. 496 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,471 Sandals. 497 00:37:07,642 --> 00:37:09,883 With your hair pinned high. 498 00:37:11,604 --> 00:37:14,186 Dangly gold earrings that made me smile. 499 00:37:17,986 --> 00:37:20,819 A big watch, too big... 500 00:37:20,989 --> 00:37:23,355 ...so it slid up your arm, but it looked great. 501 00:37:23,825 --> 00:37:29,991 And you were dancing next to a red-haired girl in a green dress. 502 00:37:36,671 --> 00:37:39,754 Yeah, yeah, yeah, Jenna. It was Jenna's birthday. 503 00:37:39,924 --> 00:37:43,758 So you were watching her, who's a lot better looking than me. 504 00:37:44,387 --> 00:37:48,096 -You think so? Really? -How come you're not stalking Jenna? 505 00:37:48,266 --> 00:37:51,099 Because you think like that and Jenna doesn't. 506 00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:52,679 Jenna dances for an audience. 507 00:37:52,854 --> 00:37:55,846 You dance like there's no one else in the room. 508 00:37:57,776 --> 00:37:59,312 Your life's not simple, Fiona... 509 00:37:59,527 --> 00:38:02,439 ...and you can't stop it from showing because you're no fake. 510 00:38:02,614 --> 00:38:05,026 You're not lost. You don't need finding. 511 00:38:05,533 --> 00:38:08,149 This whole city belongs to the Jennas, I'm sick of them. 512 00:38:08,620 --> 00:38:11,703 Iswear, Fiona, you're nothing like anyone I've ever met. 513 00:38:11,873 --> 00:38:16,037 You make me want to enjoy my life again. 514 00:38:17,086 --> 00:38:19,042 Are you there? 515 00:38:21,549 --> 00:38:23,540 Fiona? 516 00:39:44,132 --> 00:39:46,214 STEVE: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. 517 00:39:46,509 --> 00:39:48,841 What have I ever done to anybody, never mind you... 518 00:39:49,012 --> 00:39:51,298 ...that made me look unreliable? Unreliable? 519 00:39:51,472 --> 00:39:53,804 People like you are used to getting your own way. 520 00:39:53,975 --> 00:39:56,466 And by "people like me" you mean people like what? 521 00:39:59,355 --> 00:40:04,019 Okay, wait. All right. Yes, no. All you gotta do is agree or disagree. 522 00:40:04,736 --> 00:40:06,818 "He thinks the sun shines out of his own ass." 523 00:40:07,488 --> 00:40:09,274 -Agree or disagree? -Agree. 524 00:40:09,991 --> 00:40:11,947 "He's overly generous and that bugs me." 525 00:40:13,870 --> 00:40:15,906 -Agree. -"Because I'm not used to get--" 526 00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:17,115 Actually, very agree. 527 00:40:17,290 --> 00:40:20,498 "Because I'm not used to getting spoiled." 528 00:40:20,668 --> 00:40:25,128 "Okay, so I lose respect for guys like Steve, because people unlike Steve... 529 00:40:25,298 --> 00:40:28,961 ...or people diametrically opposite to Steve have always let me down. 530 00:40:29,594 --> 00:40:32,586 So deciding he's overeducated and has more money than sense... 531 00:40:32,764 --> 00:40:35,676 ...is somehow more socially acceptable than asking myself, for instance: 532 00:40:35,850 --> 00:40:38,762 'Why do the men I always date treat me like shit?"' 533 00:40:40,855 --> 00:40:42,720 -Fuck you. -It's a question. 534 00:40:42,899 --> 00:40:44,639 Fuck you. 535 00:40:44,817 --> 00:40:46,808 Either-or. 536 00:40:49,864 --> 00:40:51,855 -Agree. -"He's had an easy life." 537 00:40:52,033 --> 00:40:53,614 -Definitely. -You prefer a guy... 538 00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:56,026 -...who's been around the block. -What if I do? 539 00:40:56,204 --> 00:40:59,241 Say, D-BIock of a maximum-security prison? 540 00:40:59,415 --> 00:41:02,873 -If he knew how to have fun, sure. -Fiona, I can't help my upbringing. 541 00:41:03,044 --> 00:41:05,205 How come it's me having to apologize for mine? 542 00:41:05,380 --> 00:41:06,870 Who's asking you to? 543 00:41:07,465 --> 00:41:09,751 We finished here, guys? 544 00:41:09,926 --> 00:41:11,382 We're working on it. 545 00:41:13,513 --> 00:41:16,596 You wanna wait outside while I pay the bill? 546 00:41:17,642 --> 00:41:18,722 Sure. 547 00:41:23,022 --> 00:41:24,512 -He's on break? -Any second now. 548 00:41:24,732 --> 00:41:26,268 All right. 549 00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:50,956 STEVE: Good evening, sir. -Thanks. 550 00:42:02,311 --> 00:42:04,017 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 551 00:42:09,277 --> 00:42:11,393 STEVE [OVER PHONE]: I don't buy and sell cars. 552 00:42:11,571 --> 00:42:15,814 I just sell them. But the cars I sell are mainly not mine. 553 00:42:20,788 --> 00:42:22,278 Still looking for fun, Fiona? 554 00:42:22,457 --> 00:42:24,243 [ENGINE REVS] 555 00:42:29,297 --> 00:42:30,958 FIONA: Go. 556 00:42:40,475 --> 00:42:41,840 [HORN HONKS] 557 00:42:58,201 --> 00:43:03,116 Mom, we have to wear our shoes. There's bits of glass on the floor. 558 00:43:05,166 --> 00:43:08,954 -Maybe Lip could use a drink. -Oh, yes. 559 00:43:09,128 --> 00:43:10,413 -Sorry, Lip. LIP: It's okay. 560 00:43:10,588 --> 00:43:13,671 I'm a bit off today, aren't I, Karen? 561 00:43:13,841 --> 00:43:18,676 So vodka? I could do Sloe Comfortable Screws. 562 00:43:18,846 --> 00:43:23,135 Plenty of tequila. I think I'm out of lime. Definitely Gin Fizz. 563 00:43:23,351 --> 00:43:25,512 -Just a couple of Cokes, Mom. -And some beers? 564 00:43:25,686 --> 00:43:27,347 Beer is great, Sheila. Thanks. 565 00:43:35,279 --> 00:43:37,941 So, what if your dad comes back and sees me here? 566 00:43:38,116 --> 00:43:39,731 He won't. 567 00:43:39,909 --> 00:43:41,365 It's my fault? 568 00:43:41,536 --> 00:43:44,744 He's been looking for an excuse for months. 569 00:43:46,207 --> 00:43:48,289 What impression did you get from my brother? 570 00:43:48,459 --> 00:43:49,790 -Ian? -Yeah. 571 00:43:49,961 --> 00:43:51,201 Seems nice. 572 00:43:51,379 --> 00:43:54,496 Right, but did he pitch a tent? 573 00:43:55,091 --> 00:43:57,298 -Huh? -Did you make him hard? 574 00:43:59,679 --> 00:44:01,886 Ever try to play pool with a rope? 575 00:44:47,935 --> 00:44:50,096 Yo, Kash. 576 00:44:55,902 --> 00:44:58,814 [GRUNTING AND GROANING] 577 00:45:00,489 --> 00:45:02,696 LIP: Yo, Kash. 578 00:45:08,497 --> 00:45:11,864 KASH: All right, you stack the butter. I'll do the snacks. 579 00:45:15,046 --> 00:45:16,752 Oh, Jesus Christ, Lip. 580 00:45:16,964 --> 00:45:20,081 Yeah, sorry. Sorry, Kash. ljust.... 581 00:45:20,259 --> 00:45:23,751 -Thanks for the tools. -Anytime, as long as I get them back. 582 00:45:23,971 --> 00:45:25,632 Right. 583 00:45:32,396 --> 00:45:34,603 You must be joking. 584 00:45:36,692 --> 00:45:38,853 What, you're fucking him? 585 00:45:41,656 --> 00:45:43,692 Fuck. 586 00:46:09,308 --> 00:46:13,642 He bought them for you, didn't he? Those shoes. 587 00:46:14,313 --> 00:46:16,679 He's married. 588 00:46:17,191 --> 00:46:19,523 With kids. What else did he buy you, Ian? 589 00:46:20,194 --> 00:46:22,105 Stuff. 590 00:46:22,571 --> 00:46:24,061 Now and again. 591 00:46:25,032 --> 00:46:26,988 And you're happy with that? 592 00:46:27,159 --> 00:46:29,650 What's that make you, huh? 593 00:46:29,829 --> 00:46:32,036 -Fucking kept boy, at best. -Hey. 594 00:46:37,169 --> 00:46:40,707 Listen to me, stupid. You think you know everything, but you know shit. 595 00:46:40,881 --> 00:46:43,497 Ask me what I got him, huh? Ask me. 596 00:46:43,676 --> 00:46:45,758 CDs. dozens of CDs. 597 00:46:47,388 --> 00:46:49,720 Stuff he's never heard of, stuff he might like... 598 00:46:49,890 --> 00:46:52,051 ...because I want him to like the things I do. 599 00:46:52,226 --> 00:46:55,559 And Sox tickets for his birthday. So, what does that make you, Lip? 600 00:46:55,980 --> 00:46:58,392 It makes you wrong, you fucking smart asshole. 601 00:46:59,191 --> 00:47:02,729 Now, go back to Kash and promise him that you're not gonna tell anybody... 602 00:47:02,903 --> 00:47:06,566 ...because he's done nothing to be sorry for. Nothing. 603 00:47:18,419 --> 00:47:20,455 Fake Muslim... 604 00:47:20,963 --> 00:47:24,000 ...cheats on white fundamentalist wife with gutless gay boy. 605 00:47:26,385 --> 00:47:30,128 Says more about White Sox fans than it does for the rest of us. 606 00:47:40,232 --> 00:47:42,894 I think they're all asleep. 607 00:47:45,363 --> 00:47:46,694 Gotcha. 608 00:47:46,864 --> 00:47:48,195 [FIONA CHUCKLES] 609 00:47:49,325 --> 00:47:53,989 -Who's been eating my porridge? -Hey, Dad. This is Steve. 610 00:47:54,163 --> 00:47:57,701 Oh, no, no, no. We met before, but you weren't exactly-- 611 00:48:02,797 --> 00:48:05,038 How much do you weigh? 612 00:48:05,216 --> 00:48:07,127 I don't know. 613 00:48:07,385 --> 00:48:09,626 That would fit me. 614 00:48:09,887 --> 00:48:13,300 You can just ignore him. And you, move. 615 00:48:21,357 --> 00:48:23,894 You know what? I'd better let you get to bed. 616 00:48:24,068 --> 00:48:26,434 Um, but thanks. It was nice. 617 00:48:26,654 --> 00:48:27,985 -Yeah. -Nice, right? 618 00:48:28,155 --> 00:48:29,691 [FRANK CHUCKLES] 619 00:48:30,491 --> 00:48:32,982 No. No. 620 00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:41,202 Who paid for this? 621 00:48:42,128 --> 00:48:43,538 Hm? 622 00:48:45,506 --> 00:48:47,292 STEVE: What? 623 00:48:47,466 --> 00:48:48,672 What the hell's he on? 624 00:48:49,176 --> 00:48:52,168 Uh, he thinks he bought ecstasy... 625 00:48:52,346 --> 00:48:56,259 ...but the only dealer he gets credit from is a schizophrenic. 626 00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:01,644 It's not a case of whether or not I agree, it's a fact. If I were a single parent-- 627 00:49:01,814 --> 00:49:03,145 Aren't you a single parent? 628 00:49:03,315 --> 00:49:05,977 -"Yeah, but if! had tits...." -Yeah, but if I had tits... 629 00:49:06,193 --> 00:49:10,106 ...they would double the money. If you're a guy, they don't wanna fucking hear it. 630 00:49:10,281 --> 00:49:13,023 No, I get it. It's, "Prove you're looking for work--" 631 00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:15,031 -He's on disability. -Yeah? For what? 632 00:49:15,202 --> 00:49:17,534 A tragedy, really. I gave my life to that company. 633 00:49:17,705 --> 00:49:20,037 FIONA: You worked there a week. STEVE: What happened? 634 00:49:20,207 --> 00:49:23,290 Slaughterhouse, poultry. Dangerous work. 635 00:49:23,461 --> 00:49:26,168 Doing my job, unsuspecting, when out of nowhere... 636 00:49:26,338 --> 00:49:30,081 ...I am slammed in the ribs by a headless flying chicken. 637 00:49:30,718 --> 00:49:32,879 I was lucky, it almost missed me. 638 00:49:33,053 --> 00:49:35,920 And what do I get for my pain and suffering? 639 00:49:36,098 --> 00:49:41,718 Followed around by a video camera. Where's the trust, Steve? 640 00:49:41,896 --> 00:49:45,809 The sacred bond between employer and employee. 641 00:49:45,983 --> 00:49:47,644 Gone, Steve. It's gone. 642 00:49:47,818 --> 00:49:50,059 How's a guy supposed to work, hurt, with kids? 643 00:49:50,237 --> 00:49:53,195 -Hello. Thank you. Exactly. -Yeah. 644 00:49:53,365 --> 00:49:56,072 Excellent. Excellent. And her mother... 645 00:49:56,243 --> 00:49:58,154 -...God rest her soul. -Dad, stop it. 646 00:49:58,329 --> 00:50:00,490 -She better be dead, that bitch. FIONA: Cut it out! 647 00:50:00,664 --> 00:50:06,785 Four-month-old baby, 14-year-old girl just had her appendix out... 648 00:50:06,962 --> 00:50:09,874 ...11-year-o|d Lip, 10-year-old Ian... 649 00:50:10,049 --> 00:50:14,543 ...a 7-year-old, a 5-year-old, and-- Ohh! 650 00:50:14,720 --> 00:50:18,804 And a Dodge Astro van. 651 00:50:18,974 --> 00:50:21,386 -No. -Calypso-- Yes, calypso blue. 652 00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:25,599 What's the one thing that we needed? One word. One thing. 653 00:50:25,773 --> 00:50:27,604 -Sterilization? -Continuity. 654 00:50:27,775 --> 00:50:31,893 -Continuity. -Continuity. 655 00:50:33,030 --> 00:50:35,442 l-- I-- What could I--? 656 00:50:35,616 --> 00:50:37,322 [CREAM'S "WHITE ROOM" PLAYS OVER RADIO] 657 00:50:37,618 --> 00:50:39,404 Oh, my God, I love this part. 658 00:50:39,578 --> 00:50:42,320 [FRANK HUMS] 659 00:50:46,210 --> 00:50:49,168 "You said no strings could--" 660 00:50:49,338 --> 00:50:52,205 l-- I-- What could I do, Steve? 661 00:50:52,383 --> 00:50:54,214 .|.. |.. -Disappear for three weeks? 662 00:50:54,385 --> 00:50:57,172 -I had a breakdown. -You went on a bender. 663 00:50:57,346 --> 00:51:00,213 Fuck off. Nervous breakdown. 664 00:51:00,391 --> 00:51:02,803 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 665 00:51:04,186 --> 00:51:05,767 Dad. Come on, keys. 666 00:51:05,938 --> 00:51:09,897 If this is-- Okay. This is-- Sorry. 667 00:51:11,569 --> 00:51:13,400 I like him. 668 00:51:13,612 --> 00:51:16,775 -You got any idea what time it is? -Sorry, it's Frank. He's-- 669 00:51:16,949 --> 00:51:18,610 VERONICA: Yo. 670 00:51:19,326 --> 00:51:22,693 KEVIN: Frank, what did I tell you? -Here we go. Neighbors of Satan. 671 00:51:22,871 --> 00:51:25,362 The day you start paying rent like the rest of us... 672 00:51:25,541 --> 00:51:29,705 ...you can play whatever you want, but if you're gonna bump this time of night... 673 00:51:29,878 --> 00:51:32,460 ...you're gonna pump out the stuff that we like. Okay? 674 00:51:32,631 --> 00:51:33,871 [LMFAO'S "SHOTS" PLAYING] 675 00:51:34,049 --> 00:51:35,084 --ladies and gentlemen 676 00:51:35,259 --> 00:51:36,749 FIONA: Ohh! 677 00:51:36,927 --> 00:51:38,463 [FRANK HUMMING] 678 00:51:38,637 --> 00:51:41,253 [FIONA AND VERONICA GRUNTING] 679 00:51:42,850 --> 00:51:45,762 [LAUGHING] 680 00:51:47,438 --> 00:51:50,100 VERONICA: Baby. FRANK: What? What? What? 681 00:51:50,274 --> 00:51:52,265 VERONICA: Uh, uh, uh! 682 00:51:54,361 --> 00:51:56,602 STEVE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 683 00:51:57,489 --> 00:51:59,400 That's it. 684 00:52:00,492 --> 00:52:02,904 Oh! Oh! 685 00:52:04,371 --> 00:52:05,451 Watch it. 686 00:52:05,998 --> 00:52:09,866 FRANK: Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! 687 00:52:15,049 --> 00:52:17,665 Your dad made me follow you up. 688 00:52:18,677 --> 00:52:20,258 Gave me a condom. 689 00:52:20,429 --> 00:52:22,169 He must really like you. 690 00:52:22,389 --> 00:52:25,176 He usuallyjust gives my boyfriends a dental dam. 691 00:52:25,351 --> 00:52:27,558 [LIAM WARBLING] 692 00:52:29,897 --> 00:52:32,434 Liam's in here somewhere. 693 00:52:33,942 --> 00:52:35,978 Don't the kids wake up? 694 00:52:36,153 --> 00:52:37,984 Would you? 695 00:53:00,260 --> 00:53:02,467 Hey, Carl, you seen Ian? 696 00:53:02,805 --> 00:53:05,137 Gone when I woke up. 697 00:53:25,619 --> 00:53:27,951 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON EAR BUDS] 698 00:53:38,966 --> 00:53:42,754 How can that be good for you? Or-? Or that? 699 00:53:42,970 --> 00:53:46,133 -How can that be good for you? -You know what's not funny? 700 00:53:46,598 --> 00:53:49,635 You. Ever. 701 00:53:58,902 --> 00:54:01,359 Anybody before Kash? 702 00:54:03,532 --> 00:54:04,772 One. 703 00:54:04,992 --> 00:54:08,484 -Yeah? Who? -I'm not telling you, all right? 704 00:54:09,413 --> 00:54:12,746 All right, name a single time I've let you down. 705 00:54:17,212 --> 00:54:20,204 -It was a kid at school. -Yeah? 706 00:54:20,382 --> 00:54:22,543 All right, I guess it doesn't really matter... 707 00:54:22,718 --> 00:54:26,006 ...because, I mean, he's long gone now anyways, but.... 708 00:54:26,513 --> 00:54:27,923 Roger Spike)’- 709 00:54:29,099 --> 00:54:31,135 Roger Spikey? 710 00:54:31,393 --> 00:54:36,057 Fucking donkey-dick Roger Spikey? The original beef-meister? 711 00:54:36,231 --> 00:54:38,438 Did he start that rumor? 712 00:54:39,151 --> 00:54:40,857 Not a rumor. 713 00:54:41,028 --> 00:54:44,441 Well, that was a bit gay. What you just did there with your eyebrows... 714 00:54:44,615 --> 00:54:47,732 -...you wanna watch that. -All right, fuck off, all right? 715 00:54:49,661 --> 00:54:51,902 But seriously, like.... 716 00:54:52,539 --> 00:54:54,951 Like, up the ass? 717 00:54:55,417 --> 00:54:59,160 Do you get used to that? Can someone get used to that? I mean-- 718 00:54:59,338 --> 00:55:04,583 I mean, the whole point of the digestive system is one-way traffic. 719 00:55:07,095 --> 00:55:09,131 It just is. 720 00:55:09,598 --> 00:55:12,055 [LAUGHS] 721 00:55:14,353 --> 00:55:15,968 What? What? 722 00:55:16,980 --> 00:55:21,815 "Just is." Like we're only given our lungs to tricking smoke, right? 723 00:55:21,985 --> 00:55:24,192 [BOTH LAUGHING] 724 00:55:34,998 --> 00:55:37,489 STEVE: That's hot. -Don't drop it. Please, don't drop it. 725 00:55:37,668 --> 00:55:40,751 Please, don't drop it! Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 726 00:55:40,921 --> 00:55:44,129 -That sausage is great, huh? DEBBIE: Haven't had eggs in a while. 727 00:55:44,299 --> 00:55:45,880 STEVE: Somebody wanna get the pancakes? 728 00:55:46,051 --> 00:55:49,839 -What's all this? -Debbie wakes up earlier than I do. 729 00:55:50,013 --> 00:55:53,096 I told her I never eat breakfast but she said it's her favorite. 730 00:55:53,267 --> 00:55:55,223 -Pancakes. -And since it's her birthday-- 731 00:55:55,394 --> 00:55:57,476 FIONA: No, it's not. CARL: It's not her birthday. 732 00:55:57,646 --> 00:56:01,559 -I never said it was, I said I wished it was. -Right, she said she wished it was. 733 00:56:01,733 --> 00:56:05,396 Sorry, Deb, I totally misheard that. Perforated eardrum on the right. 734 00:56:09,157 --> 00:56:10,943 Fifteen minutes before school, tops. 735 00:56:11,118 --> 00:56:13,780 LIP: Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Ian, Lip, dishes soon as you're done. 736 00:56:13,954 --> 00:56:15,069 -Debbie, Carl-- DEBBIE: Yeah. 737 00:56:15,247 --> 00:56:18,034 You're not-- You forgot to take the trash out. 738 00:56:18,208 --> 00:56:20,290 [ALL CHATTERING] 739 00:56:21,253 --> 00:56:23,710 DEBBIE: Hey, it's my birthday. 740 00:57:23,690 --> 00:57:25,681 [English - US - SDH] 54943

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.