All language subtitles for Bobs.Burgers.S16E06.1080p.WEB.h264-EDITH_track3_[eng]

[♪ opening theme music
playing]

[Tina groaning]

Ughh!

Everything okay, Tina?

A lot of moaning going on.

Are we just not
bringing it this dinner?

Dad, step it up.
We're losing Tina.

-Louise.
-Bob.

[Tina continues groaning]

Aw, what is it, hon?

Mother, I can
translate for Tina.

I believe "Ugh" means
Tina asked Jimmy Jr.

to go to the eighth-grade
dance today.

And, perhaps,
it did not go well.

Hell, no, it didn't go well!

Aw. Honey, what happened?

Today, after lunch, I walked
up to Jimmy Jr. and said...

Hey, Jimmy Jr., what's up?

Or should I say, what's down?
[whispers] Look down.

-[Jimmy Jr.] "Fancy feet."
-[Tina] Uh-huh.

And they have
a question for you.

[Tina] Do you want to go

to the eighth-grade
dance with us?

Oh! Uh...

Grand romantic gesture much?

And he said no?

Oh, I'm gonna fart
on his grave.

You're gonna outlive him
to fart on his grave?

I'm in great shape, Bob.

He did say no,
but it's complicated.

Sorry, Tina. I can't.

Great! Wait, what?

-It's Zeke.
-Zeke?

Yeah, if you and me
go together,

then Zeke has to go
to the eighth-grade dance all alone.

-[Jimmy Jr.] He'll just be so sad.
-He will?

Zeke's fragile, Tina,
like a delicate flower

that's really good
at wrestling.

I can't break that
beautiful boy's heart.

-But I'll see you there.
-Okay.

Yeah. [chuckles]
No big deal.

Damn you, Zeke.

-What? What was that?
-Nothing.

I said Zeke's lucky to have
you as a friend. Okay, bye.

Well, he said you'll see
each other there.

That's good, right?

No, Dad, it's not good.

The eighth-grade dance
is a big deal.

It's semi freaking
formal, man.

We're talking
punch bowl. Balloon arch.

I've had a page blocked off
in my diary for this for years.

Well, why don't you just find
a date for Zeke?

Then you guys can double date.

-Huh.
-[Linda] Double dates are the best.

You got a built-in gal pal
with you the whole night--

And you can order an extra entree
and say it's for the table.

And then everybody says,
"Whoo! What a great idea."

And then you have a whole
extra entree at the table!

Argh! I want to start dating!

I guess it's worth a shot.

But how will I find
a date for Zeke?

Is there someone out there
who likes loud boys

who are annoyingly
always around Jimmy Jr.?

Just dress up a mop
and call it a day.

[Tina] Okay, a date for Zeke.
Let's see.

Taken. Taken.

Doesn't like boys.

Doesn't like anyone.

Penelope, of course.

Why didn't I think
of Penelope?

I guess 'cause she transferred
here last year,

and I don't know her at all.

But she's definitely our gal.

Look at her.
She has a face and stuff.

Okay, yeah,
this could be good.

-Here I go.
-[school bell ringing]

Okay. Guess I'll catch
my dream girl later.

That's the spirit.

[sniffs] Huh.

This tub smells
like lasagna. That's weird.

You'd tell me if we were
making lasagna, right?

Yes. Lin, I've said
this before.

I will definitely tell you
if we start making lasagna.

-All right.
-What the...

-Hugo?
-[Linda] The Rat Queen?

-Linda. Bob.
-Bob. Linda.

-Hugo. Ron.
-Ron. Hugo.

Hello. I'm Roxy Peppins.

Yes, the Roxy Peppins,

aka The Rat Queen.

-Oh, hi.
-Uh, hi.

She's the best
exterminator in the city.

Remember when Family Funtime
got taken over by rats?

Oh, yeah, it was on the news.

They were having
a field day in that ball pit.

Roxy got those rats out
in 30 minutes.

That's half an hour, Bob.

Is she looking for rats?

'Cause we... we don't
have rats, currently.

Sir, you do not have rats
inside the premises,

but I believe you may
have something much worse out there.

Lurking, watching, waiting.

I'm talking about a super rat.

-A super rat?
-A super rat.

-A super rat, uh--
-Yep, your average rat

is eight,
maybe ten inches long.

A super rat is 16
to 20 inches.

Twenty-inch super rat?

-And it flies?
-No one said it flies, Linda.

This is what they're dealing
with in London right now.

-Oh, God.
-Oh! How'd it get so big?

Rats are parasitic
on the human diet

and our food is packed
with hormones.

-Hormones, Bob!
-[Bob] Hmm.

The super rat has been spotted

in the alley behind
your restaurant.

People sent Roxy videos
of the super rat in your alley

on a forum called Rat Chat.

It's where people
chat about rats.

When we saw it was your alley,

we offered to make
an introduction.

And now we are basically
a part of Roxy's entourage.

-You're on the wait list.
-Yes!

I'd like your permission
to set a trap

in the alley
behind your restaurant

and mount a camera
on your fire escape

to monitor the trap
and catch the super rat.

-Oh.
-Exciting.

This will be
a multi-day process.

Rats are clever. Super rats
are super clever.

If I put the bait in the trap
tonight, it won't take it.

-Just listen, Bob.
-I'm listening.

Over the course
of several nights,

we move the bait closer
and closer,

and then finally,
into the trap.

We make the rat so comfortable

that on the final night,

he's hanging his pictures
on the wall.

-He's making martinis.
-[Linda] Oh, nice!

And then bam! Trap closes!

-[Linda] Oh.
-We got him!

Humans prevail. For now.

So you want to lure
a giant rat to our restaurant?

I guess it is better not to
have a big super rat outside,

flying around our alley.

Again. Ma'am, it does not fly.

-[sighs] Fine.
-Great!

Okay, now, real quick, Ron.

Smell this bus tub.
What does it smell like?

-Linda, no.
-[sniffs] Lasagna?

Thank you.

[Tina] Okay, now's my chance.

Penelope whatever
your last name is,

you got a double date
with destiny.

[Zeke and Jimmy Jr. grunting]

Did you go
to the muscle store?

You're getting strong.

I've been doing burpees.

Hey there, fellas.

Uh, since I got you here,
Zeke, do you know Penelope?

-Who? What?
-[Tina] That girl over there.

[Zeke] Yeah?

If she was into going
on like a double date

to the eighth-grade dance
with you, me, and Jimmy Jr.,

would you be into that too?

Wait. You think she wants
to go to the dance with me?

I do.

Well, I'm all about different
ways we form social bonds in this grade,

so put me down for
a "Hell, yeah!"

-J-Ju, you up for that?
-Uh, sure.

Great. Go back
to what you were doing.

All right. One, two,

-a-one, two, three, four!
-[grunting]

-I'm gonna get you! Oh, just stop.
-Ow! Wait, no.

Hi, uh, Penelope.

-Can I call you that?
-Yeah.

I used to be Penny
at my old school.

-But here--
-Uh-huh, yeah.

Yeah, great.
Um, here's the thing. You know, Zeke?

The one squeezing
the other boy's head

with his thighs over there.

-Yeah?
-He's shy,

but he's wondering if you'd
want to go on a double date

to the eighth-grade dance
with him and me and Jimmy Jr.

-Oh, I'd do that.
-Yeah?

But the eighth-grade dance
is a pretty big deal.

Maybe we could go
on a double date

somewhere else first
to see if we hit it off.

Oh. Uh, okay.

How about a double dinner
date on Friday at that baked potato place?

-Spud Simple.
-Uh, sure. Deal.

Great! Bring your own
sour cream, though.

Theirs is weird.
It's just too sour.

The sour cream is too sour?

I can text you some sour
creams that aren't so sour.

How many sour creams
does your mom let you buy?

Oh, uh, like a normal
amount, I guess.

Then this list
will really help.

Okay, well, I'm gonna
stop this conversation

so I can save some
for Friday night.

And then hopefully,
Saturday night at the dance.

Whoo-hoo! Double, double date.

[Jimmy Jr.] Ow,
Zeke, my cheeks.

[Zeke] Sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry, sorry.

Well, I'm off to Spud Simple.

Okay. Have a fun double date,
my little hot potato.

Hopefully, Penelope
and Zeke hit it off,

and then he asks her
to the dance,

or she asks
him to the dance,

or they ask each other
at the exact same time.

That's how Simon
and Garfunkel got together.

And now, they've
been married 40 wonderful years.

We'll just be here

having an incredible time
catching a super rat.

Wow. Big night
for all of us, huh?

Yeah, Roxy moved
the food into the trap,

so I guess
tonight's the night.

Exciting! It could have chosen
any nasty alley in town,

but it chose
Dad's nasty alley.

And I'll probably get hired

as the Rat Queen's
assistant tonight.

So I guess this is
my two-weeks' notice.

-Okay, great.
-Can I use you as a reference?

I wouldn't.

-Hey, guys.
-Hey, Tina.

-'Sup?
-Oh, wow.

Zeke, you brought
a flower for Penelope?

That's so nice.

Zeke didn't tell me
he was gonna bring a flower,

but I found this cool rock
while we were walking.

Do you want it? I mean,
that part is pretty dirty, but still--

I'll just put it
in my pocket for now.

Y'all don't think I used
too much scent, do you?

It's my dad's cologne
and my stepmom's vanilla body milk.

It's not bad. It smells like
a barn opened a bakery.

I've never been on an actual
date before. [chuckles]

Are you sure
Penelope said yes?

Uh-huh. And if this goes well,

we'll be double-dating our way
to eighth-grade dance-ville.

Yeah, I hope she likes me.

Of course she will, Zeke.
You're a catch.

Just be yourself in there.

Yeah, but also, maybe,
tamp it down a bit.

Reel it in,
so we can seal this deal.

Sound good?
Great. Let's go in.

-Hi, Penelope.
-Hi, Tina.

Hi, Jimmy Jr. Hi, Zeke.

-Uh, I bought you this.
-Oh, thanks.

I can't tell if it's normal
or like totally weird

to pay someone to kill a plant
and then bring it to a person.

[chuckles nervously]
Am I... Am I ruining it? I'm so sorry.

-Come on, Zeke. Shut it! Shut it, Zeke!
-Oh, boy.

Nice place. Um, so,
what's in the lunchbox?

Food. I don't like potatoes.

-Uh, what?
-I don't like round food,

so my mom packed me meatballs.

Oh, but aren't
meatballs round?

She makes them into cubes.

But you chose this restaurant.

I did. I like
the temperature in here.

They keep it
the perfect degrees.

[laughs nervously]
Right. Big-time.

God, it's so nice
to have someone else get it.

[Tina] Are they getting along?

I think they are. Good, good.

Hello. My name is Tim.

So there's one potato,
two potato, three potato...

Four of you for the buffet?

Oh, it's the girl who
brings her own food.

-Hello.
-I'll get you some waters.

I brought my own.
I would like a plate of ice.

Of course, I'll be back.

Okay, boys, should we
go get buff... et?

Let's do it to it.

If you don't like the way
their lettuce looks,

I brought lettuce.

-Oh.
-That's cool.

-Is the whole backpack full of lettuce?
-Oh, yeah.

Ugh, God, I wish I could
give civilian kitchens a health grade.

-Well, you can't.
-Well, I'm going to.

-C minus.
-Oh, my God.

So how does one
become a Rat Queen?

Do you come from
a long line of rat royalty?

Did you start as a hamster
princess and work your way up?

Actually, I majored
in Rat at Harvard.

-Really?
-No, of course not.

I got where I am
because I'm observant.

I see the clues they leave
behind that no one else sees.

Greasy rub marks
from their fur,

little scratches
on the wall,

-ball sign.
-Ball sign?

Adult males drag their
scrotums behind them.

-Yeah, Bob.
-[Bob] Um, what?

Oh, I think I got something.
I'm seeing movement.

I see it. Roxy saw it,
then I saw it. It's him!

-Wait, that's not him.
-It's not him, Bob.

Oh, it's
Little King Trashmouth.

And there's his husband, Gary.

Oh, no! Are they gonna tussle
with the super rat?

Can we give the king a weapon?
Who's got a tiny weapon?

On it. What size sword is he?

No need for swords.
Check this out.

-[barking sound over laptop]
-[all exclaiming]

-Well, that scared him off.
-I also have mountain lion,

owl and
the Howard Dean scream.

Will you send me
that playlist?

Nice of you guys to come back.

Sorry, we went
as fast as we could.

It's just my meat cubes
are getting cold.

-[munching]
-Oh, gosh, Zeke, you really chew, huh?

Yeah, I guess. [chewing]
That's how I get it done.

Ew, ew, ew, ew.

Sorry, but I don't like
other people chewing.

So how about,
like, three chews max?

Oh, uh, okay, I can handle
some feedback, girl.

And make sure that your mouth
is completely closed.

But he can open
to take a bite, right?

-If he has to.
-Constructive criticism. I like it.

I'm gonna get, uh, just
a few more toppings.

-Jimmy Jr., want to come with me?
-Uh, yeah.

I could definitely do with
a higher chives count.

I love chives.

Is it just me, or is Penelope
extremely annoying?

Yeah, she's awful.

Zeke cannot ask her
to the dance.

But wasn't this whole
thing your idea?

Yeah, that was before
I knew about the meat cubes

and the backpack
full of lettuce.

-You gotta pull Zeke aside and tell him

-not to ask her.
-Okay.

And maybe there's still time to find Zeke
a different date before tomorrow.

Like, uh, like that
lady over there.

She's got a couple of kids.

-Seems stable.
-Yeah, she seems nice.

-Wow, that's a lot of chives.
-Is it?

Okay, just one more scoop.

Guess what? Turns out
Penelope and I both like TV.

It's like, what don't
we have in common?

Amazing. Amazing.

She helped me realize I've been watching
all the wrong stuff, though.

Turns out I don't
like what I like.

-[clears throat]
-Hey, Zeke.

Uh, they put out more
bacon bits at the buffet.

-You want to go get some?
-Hell, yeah!

They ran out,
and I was all like,

"Who's taking
all the ding-darn bacon,

for Pete's sakin?" Let's go!

I'm so happy you
set me up with Zeke.

I think we go
really well together.

Yeah. Or not.
Life's funny, you know?

-What do you mean?
-I just wonder if, maybe, you and Zeke

might not be a good fit.

Excuse me.

I mean, it's not your fault. You're great.

Actually, Tina, I think
it's you who doesn't fit.

Yeah. Wait, what?

You kind of throw off
the whole dynamic of the group.

-Me?
-But it's okay.

'Cause I have a cousin who
is perfect for Jimmy Jr.

I think I'll set them up
to go to the dance together tomorrow.

-What?
-Sorry, Tina.

Looks like it didn't work out.

Ugh, but that's just the way
the potato bounces.

Please don't push my potato.

-Ah. Oops.
-And you did it.

Oh, no. Let me get
you a new one.

Here you go.

Hey, the boys
are back in town.

I just made that saying up.

So, Jimmy Jr., I have
to tell you about my gorgeous cousin.

Ah! Oh, no,
I dropped my glasses.

-Jimmy Jr., can you help me look for them?
-Ah!

-[whispering] How'd it go with Zeke?
-Not great.

He wants to introduce
her to his grandma to get her blessing.

Crap. This girl's dangerous.

-She pushed my potato off the table.
-Whoa.

We gotta get him away from her again
so we can talk him out of this.

Maybe if it's both
of us, he'll listen. Follow my lead.

Thanks, Jimmy Jr.
You found them.

I was blind, and now I see.
[laughs nervously]

Zeke, should, uh, me, you and Jimmy Jr.
go get a surprise, uh, soda

for Penelope from the soda
fountain way over there?

-I don't drink out of cups.
-Oh.

Why don't we all
just stay and talk?

Hell, yeah.
Laugh and share ideas

while we chew
our food modestly.

I have a topic. Let's all talk
about our cousins.

-[Tina groans]
-Cousin talk. Great idea.

[Zeke] I love how cousins
can be a baby or just some old dude.

But they're both cousins!
[laughs]

Well, I guess a watched alley
never rats.

Where is he? I'll give him
ten more minutes

and then I'm eating the bait!

I'm a bit peckish too.

Uh, wasn't that
your restaurant downstairs?

Uh, yeah.

Oh, you don't want one
of Bob's nasty burgers.

-I'd love a burger.
-Bob, make Roxy a burger at once.

-I'd eat a burger.
-[Bob] Yep. I'll go make food.

I'd love to not be
near Hugo anymore.

-Oh, hush. I'm great.
-I'll have the yellowtail hamachi, please.

-We just ran out.
-Fine.

Just the salt-baked branzino.

[♪ suspenseful music playing]

[chittering]

[high-pitched] Ah! Rat. Rat!

[screams]

[in normal voice] Oh, no.
You're in the restaurant.

[panting] I... I have some
bad news about the rat.

Looks like bad news about
the burgers you were gonna make us, too.

That's fine.

So, yeah, my cousin is good
at all kinds of dancing.

Jazz, tap, modern, old-timey.

-Wow.
-And she's totally free on Saturday.

And her bangs
aren't the stupid kind.

Oh, my God, I just thought
of the perfect surprise for Penelope.

-Ow!
-Damn, girl.

Something from
the gift counter. Come on, Zeke.

Don't you want to pick out the perfect
little potato present for Penelope?

A small but thoughtful
potato gift?

Lead the way, girl.

Zeke, you cannot ask
Penelope to the dance.

Do what the what?

She's so annoying.

What are you talking about?

And also she's not
being that nice to you.

Sorry, but we promised
to always be real.

Y'all know I've never had a date to
a dance before, right? Or any date.

Jimmy Jr., I know you're used to
this kind of stuff, the romance and all,

but it doesn't really
happen for me.

Nobody wants to go
to a dance with me

or hold a boombox over their head
outside my room while I'm trying to sleep

or have me at hello
or open a jewelry box for me

and then slam it shut
on my hand or anything!

-Zeke.
-I'm sorry

if you just can't be happy for me.

You know what? I don't want
to double date with you guys anymore.

I just want a single
date with Penelope.

That's a thing, right?

I don't know.
I'm new to this stuff!

I think you two should leave.

I'll pick up the tab.

-My treat!
-Zeke, no!

Jimmy Jr., go get. Just get!

So I don't suppose
you and me

are still on
for tomorrow night?

-Zeke!
-Right.

It's all ruined.

Hi. Are we looking
for t-shirts?

Sorry, we're all sold out
of "taters gonna tate."

That's fine. Thank you.

[Tina] Sorry, I set him
up with her.

I didn't realize
she'd be that.

She doesn't even appreciate

all the wonderful things
about him.

Who wouldn't want
to hear Zeke chew? I do all the time.

Uh, he really fell
for her, huh?

Well, Zeke just loves
love, you know?

He loves it so much that
he'll go to the dance

with someone who
doesn't even deserve him.

He's a big old romantic.

Do you know anyone else that
believes in love

and romance
that much, Tina?

Tina?

Do you?

Do you, Tina?

Tina, do you hear me
asking you questions?

I, like, kept asking
and asking.

Sorry, sorry. Actually, I do
know someone like that,

and she knows what to do.

Wait. Who's she? You?

-Yeah.
-Oh, okay.

-'Cause--
-I guess I get it.

-Because I am like that.
-You just said that weird

-and I was confused.
-Right.

But who else would it be?

I don't know.
Like, it could have been anyone.

[stammers] But, no. I--

-Well, let's just do your plan.
-Okay. Yeah.

He's not gonna make it easy
to find him in here.

He's gonna hide. He's gonna
urinate like hell,

-and he's gonna hide.
-Me too.

-Yeah, me too.
-But we can flush him out.

And what do we do
after we catch him?

Deliver him to the Pentagon,
where he'll be trained as an assassin?

Oh, he goes on
Dancing with the Stars.

-I kill him.
-What?

You kill him?

Well, she is an exterminator.

I thought it was
ex-terminator.

"Ex," like used to be.

Like a terminator

who got tired of
all the terminator-ing.

Doesn't seem like
he's up here. Is there a basement?

Uh, yeah, through the kitchen.

-I'm gonna go down there and check.
-Can I come?

-[Roxy] Sure.
-[Ron] Me too?

-No, Ron. This is big-boy stuff.
-He can come.

-[Hugo] Ugh, fine.
-[Ron] Yay!

I can't believe she's gonna
kill the super rat.

Poor guy. It's not his fault
he got so big.

It's the hormones.

He was just doing
his own thing.

Making his own way
in the world.

Yeah, he's just misunderstood.

A giant, hairy, horrifying,
misunderstood animal.

Like Dad.

[sighs] Thanks, Louise.

Dragging his balls around,
like Dad.

Thank you, Gene.

-Oh, my God, there it is.
-[all exclaiming]

So I guess we should tell Roxy
it's up here

and send it to its death.

Or, maybe, I just go over
there and open the door.

No, Louise.
Your father can do it.

-No, she can do it.
-[Linda growls]

[sighs] Okay, fine.
I'll do it.

[Louise] Run.
Run to freedom, super rat.

Aw, bye, super rat.

Enjoy your hormones.

[Hugo] What? You let
the super rat out?

[Louise] Uh, the rat made us
let him out.

He had a little gun.

Yeah, he got our cash.

He said he was
headed to Aruba.

-Damn it, Bob.
-He got in your heads.

He got in all of your heads.

You can't let him
get into your mind.

-Let's roll out!
-Bye, take care.

We didn't just start
the bubonic plague again, did we?

A super bubonic plague.
Boobity, boobity, boobity.

So, Penelope, there's
something I want to ask you.

Aw, okay.

Will you make sure
there's absolutely

no spit in your mouth
before you ask it?

-Oh, you again.
-What do you guys want?

Why don't you ask
these plates?

-Um...
-What in the...

[Zeke] "Zeke, will you dance
to go with the us?"

-Oh, uh, hold on.
-"You will go--"

Oh, yeah, wait. Just let me
try one more time.

"Zeke, will you go
to the dance with us?"

Us?

Yeah, me and Jimmy Jr.
The three of us.

-Please?
-Um, I don't think Zeke wants to--

Zeke, listen. You do deserve
love and romance.

And you do deserve
to go to the dance with someone.

But it should be someone,
or maybe two someones, who appreciate you.

Who wanna just
let you be you.

I appreciate him. I let him guard
the lettuce when I went to the bathroom.

Zeke, I'm sorry that I put
you in a position

where you had to guard
Penelope's backpack full of lettuce.

I'm sorry about everything.

I... I thought of you
in a certain way,

that you were in the way.

But you're kind
of like me. You're a romantic.

And I think the three of us will actually
have a lot of fun at the dance together.

And you can chew
as many times as you want.

-Zeke?
-Y'all, these buffet topping plates

are the most romantic thing
I've ever seen in my life.

Yes, I'll go to the dance with you two.

-Yes!
-[laughing]

Zeke, um,
I have some bad news.

I don't want to go
to the dance with you.

Well, actually, I'm gonna
go with them.

I'm breaking up with you.
Please don't fight it.

-No, it's fine.
-Stop making a scene!

You know what?
We're all paid up here.

-You guys want to head out?
-Fine. More lettuce for me.

All right. Let's talk
coordinated color schemes for our outfits.

Let's talk a three-person dance
we practice a little bit.

And y'all are getting
me a boutonniere.

And it has to be white.

I want it to match my boots.

-[Tina] Yeah, uh... okay.
-[Jimmy Jr.] Okay, yeah.

♪ Put your feelings
to the test ♪

♪ And make a grand
romantic gesture ♪

♪ You'll get them saying
yes, sir ♪

♪ With a grand
romantic gesture ♪

♪ Put potato toppings
on a plate ♪

♪ Next thing you know ♪

♪ You got yourself a date ♪

♪ And if you want
to feel alive ♪

♪ Don't forget
to add those chives ♪

[echoes] ♪ Chives ♪

♪ Put your feelings
to the test ♪

♪ And make a grand
romantic gesture ♪

♪ You'll get them saying
yes, sir ♪

♪ With a grand
romantic gesture ♪

[Linda] Twenty-inch super rat?
And it flies?